How do we work this so one of us doesn't get stuck doing all the work?
There's all kinds of information out there about "babyproofing your marriage" to make sure you stay close after becoming parents, but I'd argue that it's even more important to relationship-proof your parenting. As much as we start out with ideals of parenting in an equitable manner so one parent doesn't end up being the gatekeeper, cultural and sometimes biological forces can very easily shove us into traditional divisions of labor that harm our relationships with our kids and with each other.
In this MoxieTopic: Parenting With Another Person I explain how parents can get shoehorned into typical childrearing roles and how that hurts the entire family, and then walk through steps to get out of those strict roles to be able to share parenting more equally. This guide is useful for anyone who will be parenting with another person, whether or not those people are a romantic couple and no matter what sexes the parents are, but it's important to acknowledge how sex and gender-based the assumptions can be for all pairs of parents. This is 8 pages of explanation of what can happen, why this is harmful, what delightful things can happen when you share the parenting, and how to do that. Great to read once your kid is here, and even better to read while you're waiting for your child to arrive, so buy it now.
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This PDF is for your own personal use and allows you to read on devices or print it out. Please do not share electronic copies with others or print copies for others. You can print out as many copies as you want to for yourself, so don't worry about spilling on them.