Category Archives: I love the internet

Links you can use

I found these links recently and thought I’d bring them to your attention. There’s a lot of good stuff here.

Julian Davies, MD, runs the Center for Adoption Medicine at the University of Washington Pediatric Care Center. The Center has a website at www.adoptmed.org that has tons and tons of resources for adoptive parents. Even if you’re not an adoptive parent you’ll find this post on sleep both hilarious and informative.

ParentHacks.com is an awesome website with tips and hacks sent in by parents to make things easier for other parents. Hacks range from "teach your kid to use a sippy cup in the bathtub so it’s easy to clean up" to advice on how to become an early riser to instructions on cutting cool bangs for your daughter. You’ll definitely want to bookmark it.

If you’re still thinking about this question about a parent abusing a child, as I am, then you’ll want to check out www.safehorizon.org. Safe Horizon is an advocacy group for victims of crime and abuse. Go here to have them email you 10 Ways to Stop Child Abuse (you can also get it sent to you by snail mail). Their tagline is "Child Abuse: Turn your outrage and grief into action."

Looking for a job or to network to push your career forward? Join Women For Hire and network online. It’s a job board and career advice site, but it’s also a networking tool (like Friendster). You can join and make connections with other women, then use those connections to get advice or job leads.

Reader Tip: Spring Holiday Tips

We’re about to hit Passover, Easter, and Mothers’ Day (or is it Mother’s Day?), so I thought we could share some wisdom to help make things easier for each other. I’ll go first, then you go. (A reminder that if you don’t want to have your email clickable for the whole internets, put a URL, any URL–like www.google.com or www.fake.com–in the "URL" box and it covers whatever email address you enter. Only I can see the email address. If you don’t want me to know your email, either, then put a fake one in that box, too.)

Easter:

Instead of that nasty plastic grass that goes in the bottom of kids’ Easter baskets (and then ends up everywhere and clogs up your vacuum), use Veggie Booty instead. It’s green like grass, but it’s edible (providing a nice savory note amidst all the jellybeans and chocolate), safe if a baby gets hold of it, and easy to vacuum up.

You can buy fair trade chocolate eggs (milk chocolate only, unfortunately) from the A Greater Gift catalog. They also sell fair trade Easter baskets made by  a cooperative. (This catalog is also a good source for fair-trade Hanukkah gelt in December.)

If your family tends to get into fights at the Easter dinner table, consider replacing the traditional ham with turkey, so people will fall asleep before they can start fighting. (That tip is courtesy of my mother.)

Passover:

I’m not Jewish, so I’ve really got nothing here, except that I think I could eat a whole lot of these Raspberry Brownies from One Tired Ema.

Mothers’ Day:

If you end up cooking a brunch, make (or buy) a quiche the day before. Then on Mothers’ Day all you have to do is heat it in the oven and toss together a green salad and put out some scones and you’re set. No stress.

Search phrase report, Vol. 2

Oh, the site referrals!

"adult breastfeeding relationship" — I truly hope this person is wondering if having been breastfed has any effect on a child’s relationship to his/her mother as an adult, because the other option is something I don’t want to spend much time thinking about.

"daycare won’t wipe my preschooler" — Aieee! They let your kid come home poopy? This is not acceptable. Please switch immediately.

"Could I be pregnant so soon after having a baby? — Yes. Yes, you could. Some women ovulate 2 weeks after giving birth, so if you’ve had sex even once since the baby’s been here, you could be pregnant. It’s not that likely statistically, but you probably want to pee on a stick just so you know.

"opportunities of moxie soda" — I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never tried Moxie soda. Moxie is a goofy nickname a friend gave me. So I have no idea what opportunities Moxie soda could provide, but if you find out, drop me a line. 

"4 year old whining & screaming" — Try putting him to bed earlier. I’m reading an awesome book about sleep deprivation right now and will post about it when I finish in a few days. In the meantime we’re trying a more sleep experiment here for our 4-year-old and it seems to be helping with the tantrums and oppositional behavior.

Search phrase report, Vol. 1

I’ve been keeping track of the phrases people search on that land them here on Ask Moxie. A few are pretty funny (like "Supernanny big boobs"), but most are people looking for info I actually have to offer.

I’ve been getting a surprising number of hits for "sew your own pouch" or "fleece pouch pattern" or "Hotsling pattern." I don’t have one on this site, but I did find this super-easy pattern. If I end up sewing one (to match my ring sling sewn from this pattern) I’ll let you know how it goes. You can also check out my post on my favorite slings (and the comments, of course) to see if there’s anything else you’re interested in.

I get a ton of hits on variations of "my 9 month old won’t sleep" or "9 month old won’t sleep in crib" or "9 month old wakes up all night" or "9 month old wakes up screaming" or "I hate my 9 month old" (just kidding about that last one). If you’re at your wit’s end because your 9 (or 8) month-old is having sleep problems, you’re probably smack dab in the middle of the sleep regression before the next developmental spurt. Here’s a basic rundown of what the sleep regressions are about. And the post "9-month-old’s sleep has gone into the crapper" might be helpful, too. FWIW, the time I felt most morose and hopeless about parenting and my life was when my older son was 9 months, and I’m going through another wave of "is this all there is?" now that my younger one is 9 months. I think the sleep thing and the discouragement thing are intricately related.

For anyone looking for "sleep training" this post might help you. I’ll tell you that I don’t think letting your baby cry alone in a room trains them to do anything but shut down. You’ll have better luck teaching your child to sleep if you respond to his or her needs at night, so they learn that the world can be trusted and there’s nothing to be afraid of. If you have a kid that needs a little bit of fussing or crying for the final wind-down before sleep, you can test it by doing a very short controlled cry to see what happens. A kid who escalates will let you know right away that you shouldn’t let them cry. A kid who needs to fuss down (sometimes or all the time) will do so in a few minutes.

For anyone looking for "having another baby" or "when to have another baby" or "how long should I wait before getting pregnant again" or "pregnant again but husband doesn’t want it" (which made me sad), I’m sooo not the person to ask. My two boys (4 years and 9 months old, respectively) are kicking my ass. So I can’t recommend having another baby. But then again they love each other with such intensity and have so much fun together already and make me laugh so much that I recommend it to everyone. Whichever way you go it’s going to work out, while still making you a little nuts. I would suggest reading Siblings Without Rivalry to give yourself a good framework to help avoid the easy traps that end up setting up jealousy between siblings.

Another frequent string is "toddler won’t drink milk" or "why won’t my toddler drink milk??" or "teach toddler to drink from a sippy". I’d suggest trying another kind of milk or reading the suggestions in the comments to this post for other tips on helping kids drink from sippy or straw cups.

This afternoon we’ll be back to Q&A.