Not feeling Mothers Day

If you're really into Mothers Day (Mother's Day? Mothers' Day?) you can skip this post.

I'm not a fan, personally, as I feel the public celebration causes a lot of pain for those who aren't mothers, who've lost children, who have strained relationships with children, who've lost their own mothers, or don't have good relationships with their mothers.

And I think it's yet another opportunity for the media and corporattions to patronize us by assuming we all want the same thing and that we're happy being objectified. (No, my name is not "Mom" unless you happen to be my sons.)

But here's an angle I hadn't considered. Monica writes:

"With mother's day approaching, I'm getting that uneasy feeling that usually comes with the winter holidays.

Every mom I meet just LOVES being a mom.  I hate to say it, but not so much here.  I love love love my baby, but 11 months in and I'm still having a hard time adjusting to being a parent. Though I adore my daughter, I'm finding myself missing my child free days hard.  Prior to baby, I worked for myself from home, and I thought I'd easily be able to continue this as a parent.  Enter colicy baby with a major case of sleeplessness and separation anxiety, a husband who works 60+ hours a week, and a lot of housework.  I won't go too much into the details because I'm not necessarily looking for advice on my specific situation (I think I need to do some major contemplating on that), but I'm hoping you or other moms can commiserate on not really loving motherhood.  Feeling a ton of mom guilt for even writing that sentence."

Monica cannot be the only one. Comparing MD to the winter holidays makes complete sense, in that there are so many expectations set up around this day, and if you don't feel like you fit into the perfect picture, it's easy to feel like there's something wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you.

So, so many of us loved our babies but didn't like being mothers of babies. (Or sub in "toddler" or "preschooler" or "teen.") There is nothing wrong with you if you don't like a certain stage, or if you love it. There's nothing wrong with you if you fantasize about having your old life back sometimes. There is nothing wrong with you if you don't want to go to brunch, or recieve a heart-shaped pendant necklace or a plaster handprint. Don't hate the player--there's plenty enough to hate about the game.

You are the perfect mother for your child. Your child, who will go into a new stage that you will like better, and eventually will turn into an adult that you'll be happy to know. And who will think you're the best.