Anyone else out there with an older child who wets the bed?

K writes:

"I'm writing for the first time ever -- and with a question/seeking support and advice from your community of moms. My son, who is 7/12 still wets the bed. DH and I both have taken the "no big deal" approach with him ever since he was potty trained at age 3y 2m (in just a few days and with minimal regression). The first year or two, we kept expecting him to start to have dryer nights. Or waking up in the night. Or something. But instead, we just keep buying more absorbent pull-ups (the kind for 70 pound kids) and doing a lot of loads of pee laundry. Not only has he never *NEVER* woken up dry, it remains uncommon for him to soak through a mega pull-up a few times a week.

The trouble with bed wetting (well, aside from the yuck factor and potential shame factor -- which we strive to protect and shield him from) is that there are no experts. Not since I was nursing did I feel like our pediatrician just didn't really "get" it. Great doctor, great lady, but just not the right expert. Trouble is, there's no bedwetters equivalent of all the support groups and books out there for nursing moms. I've heard and read everything -- including the reason why every option is doomed to failure. Setting an alarm at night / he won't learn to wake on his own. Limiting fluids / even if I thought this would work, it is not reasonable in my house. Using one of those wetness alarms that wakes him up when he starts to pee / expensive, and these get lukewarm reviews, at best. Most recently I heard someone mention chiropractic treatment. And while I love my visits to the chiro now and then, that seems like a stretch (and an expensive one by the time we've had 4 or 5 office visits).

We've been doing the "wait and see" approach now for more than 4 years. My daughter, on the other hand, turned 3 last fall and wakes up dry most days already. Which obviously can get awkward for my little guy. :( And FWIW yes, he's a heavy sleeper, and yes it seems his dad wet the bed when he was little, though not when he was this old.

We get great empathy and encouragement from family and friends. A nearly entirely judge-free zone, and very grateful for that. I just need to know how long is it really reasonable to wait and see? Are there are even real parents out there who have used methods successfully? And I'm not talking about 3 year old betwetters -- I'm talking about kids who are in elementary school, who have long since passed the point where everyone says kids just start to stay dry at night.

I don't know if this is something you'd be willing to push out to your community or not. I'm just reaching my wit's end with this, and I'd like to see some light somewhere on the horizon. Just like nursing strikes and losing sleep and everything else, if you know there's an end to the madness, I can muddle through in the meantime."

As we know, I know nothing about potty training, and nothing about bed-wetting. I've got nothing but sympathy, because this sounds like the kind of thing that everyone wants to offer advice on or judgment of, but that people who are dealing with it have already tried everything.

So I wish I could just give you a big hug and and It Gets Better.

Is there anyone else out there in this same situation? How are you coping?