Stories of getting back to having sex post-baby

We in the US (and you bystanders watching this trainwreck from Canada) have yet another Presidential debate tonight, so in the interest of some levity and non-political talk, let's share stories on the topic of:

Strange things that have happened when you first tried to get back to having sex post-baby.

(Yes, to the person who tweeted me on this topic, this is for you.)

I'll start:

(Let me just mention how strange it is to be talking about having sex with someone I haven't considered having sex with in years.)

My older son was some number of weeks old (7? 8? maybe) and I'd screwed up my courage and we were going to try it, and the baby was asleep but we were paranoid that he was going to wake up, so we ahd the baby monitor in the same room with us. And just as we were starting to attempt it, this loud male voice came over the monitor as clear as day, asking what we were doing!

Of course the explanation was that our monitor was picking up our neighbor's cordless phone conversation in which he called a friend and asked what the friend was doing. But. Mood lost, and I was so traumatized I'm amazed I had a second child.

Now you go.