Welcome to Moxie Madness!

Welcome to Moxie Madness 2012: Misery Poker Tournament!

64 mothering calamities go mano-a-mano in a single elimination tournament like you've never seen before.

Only one mothering problem can be the champion...

Vote for which problem is worse in a series of shoot-from-the-hip head-to-head matchups that will leave you breathless.

First matchups start Thursday. Final Championship Match April 2. Are you ready to rumble?

Download the Moxie Madness 2012 bracket here. Voting starts Thursday, with 6 match-ups for you to vote on.

All calamities were assigned to divisions and slots randomly.


Sears Division:

Miss child's first drop-off at preschool because of work vs. Partner asks "What did you do all day?"

Teething vs. 9-month sleep regression

Child chastized by another parent at the playground vs. Child begs you not to go to work

Family vacation vs. Child won't put on shoes in the morning

Have to pump in bathroom vs. Nap strike

Leak through your blouse at work vs. 3.5-year-old

Your child is bitten by another child vs. Pacifier falls into dirty sand

Stranger chastises you for baby's lack of hat vs. Poopsplosion

Weissbluth Division:

Catch glimpse of your postpartum backside in a mirror vs. Another mom in your mom's group writes a book during naptime*

Persistent diaper rash vs. 18-month sleep regression

Nanny at the playground chastizes you vs. Child says they like the other parent better

Asked if you're your baby's grandmother vs. Baby pukes in your mouth

Nasty look from server while nursing in restaurant vs. 4-month sleep regression

Nursing strike vs. Asked to bring 15 dozen homemade cookies to preschool fundraiser

Your child bites another child vs. Mother-in-law second-guesses you

Leave the house without any diapers or wipes in the bag vs. GERD

Leach Division:

Your sister's baby sleeps 8 hours at 6 weeks old vs. Asked if you're your baby's nanny

Co-sleeping in a queen size bed vs. Pet wakes baby from nap

Waitlisted at daycare vs. Partner can't soothe baby

Carrying baby and bump its head against the wall by accident vs. Child puts golf ball down toilet and plumber can't get it out

You stink like sour milk vs. Business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

Baby sleeps through night but you have insomnia vs. Mommy drive-by from friend

Food allergy vs. Woken up more than two times in an 8-hour stretch

Potty training vs. SAHM shunned by WOHMs at school

Babywise Division:

Asked "When are you due?" when baby is a year old vs. You mix tomorrow's formula bottles and forget to put them in the refrigerator overnight

Crib in a bedroom allllll the way down the hall vs. Mommy drive-by from stranger

Nanny quits vs. Partner soothes baby better than you can

Two in diapers at the same time vs. WOHM shunned by SAHMs at school

Sex for the first time post-partum vs. Partner's business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

You wake up at midnight, drooling, on the floor next to the crib vs. Mommy drive-by from your mommy

"Mom. Mom! Mommy!! MOM! MO-O-OM!!!!" vs. Electricity goes out and you lose your frozen breast milk stash

Mastitis vs. Walk into room to find baby climbing out of crib


Be ready to start voting on Thursday! We'll have 6 match-ups that day to vote on in Round 1. Voting will continue on weekdays for the rest of the month, with the Final Match-up on April 2. Download the brackets now to make your picks.



* This actually happened to me. One of the moms in playgroup was always strangely anal about getting her kid home for naptime, and then after about 6 months she told us she'd written a book during all those naptimes.