"It happened to me today. My 8-month old was on the change table. I was rummaging for a diaper and so I took my eyes off him for a split second. It all happened so fast. He toppled off and his fall was broken by me as I was bending over, trying to wrestle open the %#$?%@ box with one hand. He then landed on the floor and bumped his forehead. Of course I screamed in horror, scooped him up to make sure he was alright. He cried for a little bit but it seems I was the one who was the most shaken.
I hugged him for the longest while, apologizing and asking that he forgive my lack of vigilance. Yes, I know these things happen. I feel like an idiot, an incompetent mother (rationally I know that's far from true). I could just kick myself, that's how angry and stupid I feel. I know how unproductive that is. I sobbed for a little while as I watched him play next to me. He'd sometimes look up, notice the tears and chuckle at the sight. I'm pretty sure he's ok. I just wish I was.
I just keep replaying that horrible scene in my head. His body just bouncing right off the floor like a rag doll. My GOD!!
I did a quick search on "I dropped my baby" and came up with thousands of forums posts from frantic mothers from all over, worried sick about having dropped their baby and feeling sick and like the worst mother ever. Yet knowing how common it is doesn't make me feel any less guilty and crappy."
Yes. That frantic hauling the baby into the bathroom to turn the lights on and off to see if the pupils are equal and reactive, and then watching for hours to make sure there's no vomiting and not letting him go to sleep. It's horrible. And you feel so uilty, adn truly, like the worst mother.
Two other things made me feel like a horrible mother:
1. Carrying my baby from room to room and banging his head on the doorframe as I walked past.
2. Handing my child a teething biscuit and turning away to pay the cashier and then realizing my son was choking and not being able to unstrap him because my fingers were fumbling too much to get him out to tip him upside down.
Oh, and a bonus, but this is kind of funny: Wondering where on earth my newly-crawling child had gotten a piece of chocolate and then realizing he'd crawled into the bathroom where the catbox was and That Isn't Chocolate.