I almost don't know what to do with myself now that the big summer NurtureShock discussion is over. I've got something cooking for after US Labor Day, though, involving a special guest, so stay tuned. It's going in a completely different direction, and should be more fun than it is challenging for the upcoming Busy Season.
"I am newly pregnant--9 weeks--and am not in a good place. I realized I only know one person who had babies easily. Everyone else close to me has had miscarriages or seriously traumatic births that endangered their lives or the lives of their babies. I am just so worried that something will happen to my baby or to me.
I know this doesn't make sense. Obviously humans wouldn't be here if pregnancy didn't work most of the time. But I just don't know enough people who didn't have truly hellish experiences to be able to talk away my fear. Help."
I think that a certain amount of worry is the job of pregnancy. Worry that prevents us from engaging in risky behavior (and by that I mean skydiving or drinking heavily, not eating soft cheese) is good, and worry helps us pay attention to our bodies and learn to trust our instincts, which is a necessary skill for parenthood. So a manageable amount of worry is normal and good during pregnancy.
But this sounds like too much. Like it's taking you over and putting you into that endless loop of anxiety. In addition to making your next 31 weeks horrible, this amount of worry doesn't serve any purpose. You'll be exhausted by the end for no reason.
If something horrible is going to happen, your worrying will not prevent it. And letting go of the worry will not cause it. Sometimes bad things happen. But good things happen more often.
Readers, can we flood Anon with positive pregnancy and birth stories? Maybe if she reads enough she can use those to push out the overwhelming negative in her thoughts. I know a lot of us have good stories. It would be especially helpful to have stories of healthy pregnancies after miscarriage or infertility, or birth stories that ended in health even if things didn't go as planned.
#1: Depressed, sick, cranky, and bloated the whole pregnancy. Induced with castor oil (NOT RECOMMENDED), long painful labor, baby came out fine!
#2: Depressed, sick, and cranky (but not bloated) the whole pregnancy. Went into labor on my own, long annoying labor, baby came out fine, a full pound smaller than his brother!
Now you go, please.