A few friends are going through divorces and are in the stage of feeling like there's nothing to look forward to and like it's going to stay this bad forever. And like things won't be good for their kids, either.
We've already talked here about some of the pitfalls to watch out for while divorcing to avoid hurting your kids. (I firmly believe that divorce does hurt kids. But I also think that that hurt can be far less than the hurt of having parents who stayed together when they should have been apart. It's all about minimizing damage and continuing the conversation.)
So can we talk about some good things about divorce? If you're in a divorce situation (whether you were legally married or not) as a parent or as a kid, please share something good that's come out of the divorce. It will help people who are struggling to find the hope in all of it.
I have my kids for three days, and then their dad has them for three days. When I dropped them off with him the other day, our youngest ran to him screaming "Daddy!!!!!!" like he was his hearts' only desire. When he sees me after three days he does the exact same thing. My older one has verbalized that he likes that he never gets "sick of us" now because he has just the right amount of time in a row to have fun with us. I can't even express how awesome that is.
When I'm with my kids I'm totally with them. When I'm not with them, I'm not. (I realize this is only the case because I never worry about how they're doing with their dad, and that I'm lucky about that.)
It has not turned out to be as difficult to take responsibility for my own (and only my own) emotions as I thought it would be.
I get to have the good aspects of dating without the biological clock ticking and without wondering "Are you The One???" about everyone that I even chat with and without caring if people like me. Remarkably freeing.
Now you, please.