Winded

I just finished my last three-pronged, hour-and-40-minute commute. Next year both boys will be in the same school, so it'll be one-drop-off-and-then-me-to-work on days I have them, and just-me-to-work on days they're with their dad.

I was weepy all day yesterday, thinking about how much this commute stole from me this year. It sapped my energy to a concerning degree. It made me late for work every day, and tired already when I got there. It made me wake up with a feeling of panicked dread every morning, M-F. It made me turtle in, with nothing left for anyone else. I wasn't as present for friends. Even the thought of dating was ludicrous. I certainly wasn't here. I just didn't have anything left to give anyone, emotionally or physically.

I feel so bad for who I've been and how I've not been able to rise above this year. After all the stuff I've been through in the last few years, I never guessed it would be logistics that would take me down, but they did.

Now I start rebuilding myself, I guess.

What is something that took you down and sucked you under that you never expected to? Are you back yet? Or does it still have you in its claws?