Travel horror stories

Oh, friends--the dog ate my post! I was writing one in my head last night on the airplane to my parents' (only 3 hours delayed!) and then it never made it into the computer and now I've forgotten what the topic even was in my travel-induced stupor.

Has anyone had any horror stories or funny stories about travel lately?

I'll start: So last night after a series of snafus including their thinking I didn't have a ticket, and my almost not getting a seat on the flight, we got on. It was a small plane (maybe 80 seats) and we had one flight attendant, who was an exact cross between Steve Urkel and George Jefferson. From the way he made the announcements to the way he walked down the aisle, it was uncanny. And then he engaged me in a bizarre and really funny conversation about pretzels vs. peanuts that I wish I could remember verbatim.

Anyone?