The reveal

So!

Last Tuesday I quit my full-time job.

Let me back up a little. You all knew I was stressed about, well, everything. And one of the things that was stressing me out was the fact that my job was no longer a match for my talents and interests. I like people at work, so it was a fine place to come every day, but it was not at all the best use of my time. Add to that that I was always late (because of kid drop-off). And feel like my real calling is to be writing Ask Moxie and doing way more stuff for you and with you, and moving into other media. I just felt stuck and trapped.

Then, as happens to so many women going through a divorce, a man from my past called. This man, however, didn't ask me out. He asked if I was interested in doing some freelance work for him (he was a former freelance boss from back when both of us were at a different company).

At the same time, I'd started taking a class that forced me to look at myself in a radically different way and confront the lies I'd been telling myself my whole life about who I am and what my capabilities are. What I can expect from myself. What will happen if I really start taking myself seriously.

Then I talked to a friend I hadn't seen in months, an oncologist. She asked how I was doing, and I started telling her, and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "I diagnose people our age with cancer every week. Some of them make it, but some of them don't. If you know what it is that you're supposed to be doing, and you don't do it, then you're wasting time."

So I ran the numbers and realized I'd be making at least as much freelancing as I did at my full-time job, but with more flexibility to write Ask Moxie and no business travel. And I'm lucky that there are enough options in New York State to buy into almost-affordable health insurance plans for myself and the kids. And I quit. The day after I quit I got offered two more freelance jobs.

The only issue is that I didn't want to leave my company high and dry, so I'm still full-time here for a few more weeks. At the same time, I'm doing what's essentially a full-time freelance project. So I'm working an insane number of hours and doing all the same regular stuff (kids, class, friends, exercise). Which is why Ask Moxie has suffered.

Waaaahhhhh. Stress, but a good kind of stress. I'll tell you more about my last business trip coming up (dinner in Seattle, October 27, anyone?) and the class later on.