Can we explore a little more the idea a lot of you brought up in the post about looking for resources on becoming a single mom? The idea that parenting without a partner is hard, but parenting with a partner who's actually causing more work for you is even harder.
There's a ton of drudgery involved in being a parent. But I've always thought the tough part of being a parent is the emotional part, carrying all that weight of another person or people, having to be thinking about them before you think about yourself. How many pieces of bread do I have left? Enough for everyone to have sandwiches for school? How many hours of sleep can I possibly get before the baby wakes up again and needs to eat? My child keeps hitting the dog--am I somehow not teaching her moral values?
And I don't even think that that stuff is the stuff you guys call being The Great and Mighty Oz* like thinking three steps ahead on everything from developmental milestones to doctors appointments to buying shoes in the next size up.
I know that when you don't feel like things are right in your relationship, everything else is more difficult. When you are happy with who you are, even if things aren't easy, they're doable. I've also discovered that it's much easier to ask for and get help by myself than it was when I had a partner. And since waking up in the morning is easier, everything is easier.
Personally, I think if you want to be a parent, you need to be a parent. And that being a parent is going to expose the cracks in any relationship. And that you can do it, no matter what it is you need to do. Put all those things together, and I'm not sure what you get.
What do you guys think?
* I've always called that "being Mr. Zero" from the movie When Harry Met Sally:
Bruno Kirby: You're saying Mr. Zero knew you were getting a divorce a week before you did?
Billy Crystal: Mr. Zero knew.