I've been thinking a lot about my body lately. What it's good for, what it looks like. How I feel about it, and how someone else is going to feel about it. How I'm taking care of it better than I ever have before.
One of the things I've been feeling sad about is how back when I was young and had a stunning body I still hated it. Back before I got married I was actually pretty (I can say that now, looking at photos from back then) and there was not a single thing wrong with my body. I can't believe I wasted all those years hating it and wishing I looked different. All my imagined flaws.
Now, post-kids and on cortisol overload for a decade, my body really does have flaws. And it's been a struggle and journey for me to feel like I don't need to punish myself for having this body. One of my friends on the T-Tapp message boards recently had this huge insight that working out isn't a punishment because she's fat. Instead, it's just what she needs to do to take care of her body, no matter what size she is.
I'm amazed at the changes I'm seeing in my body since I've actually been doing T-Tapp on a regular basis (3 times a week since January). It's interesting to me that I feel better about myself and my own physical attractiveness now than I did back when my body was truly beautiful. But there's still so much work for me to do, both in caring for my body and in accepting it.
Do you guys want to talk about this? I feel like body image is the shadow of so many things that we experience as mothers and as women.