I promised a better post today, but the kids are still sick, so you're getting this instead.
Last week I went to Kindergarten orientation at the school my older son will go to in the fall. I was dressed for work (nothing fancy, just a wrap dress and heels). I noticed that many of the women dressed for the playground didn't meet my eyes and looked through me. The other women dressed for work talked to me, as did all the women I knew from preschool and the playground, and I met several very nice women dressed for the playground who mentioned that they worked freelance or part-time. But it seemed to me that the pure SAHMs weren't mixing with the WOHMs they didn't know.
Remember that this is my first time on this side of things, since I was a SAHM (actually a freelancer, so not a pure SAHM, but I dressed like one) for 5 years. I sometimes felt a little scorned by the WOHMs if we met on a day I looked particularly dumpy, but any real friction I attributed to personality differences or having a bad day. Of course, I hardly encountered WOHMs, so the sample size was really small, and the ones I know well are from preschool and are crazy, hilarious, fun women.
I've thought for awhile that it was really up to the SAHMs to make the first move to friendship. I thought that while I was one, because it seemed to me that SAHMs are the ones with the network and the face time at school.
So my question to all of you is, is this just going to happen? Or is there something we can actively do to stop the snubbing? Is it up to the SAHMs, or is there something WOHMs, WAHMs, part-timers, freelancers, goldbrickers, dilettantes, and others can do?
If I hadn't known any of the other parents (and there were plenty of dads there, but I don't think they have the same issues women do around working) I would really have been hurt and lost. It makes me feel bad to think that there might have been other women there (or in thousands of other Kindergarten orientations across the world) walking away feeling like they were less than because of their work situation one way or another.