I've gotten a number of questions recently about divorce and custody and how it affects kids and how to do it better. And while I think my own kids are happy with our situation right now and feel good about the way their dad and I work together to try to create the best two households possible for the kids, I can't really know.
There is so much reporting on the effects of divorce on kids that is bad, and doesn't separate out things having to do with the actual divorce from socioeconomic or other factors, that I think it's a huge mistake to read mass-market reporting on research studies and think we're getting a clear picture, let alone a prognosis for our own kids.
So instead of looking at trends and trying to parse out what studies did or didn't look at and control for, I'd like to hear from all of you whose parents split up.
How old were you when your parents split? Did you have siblings and how old were they during the split?
What was good and what was bad about it?
How could your parents have made things better for you?
At the time did you wish your parents were still together? Now, in hindsight, do you wish your parents had stayed together?
What would you tell a friend who was divorced or getting divorced about making it better for their kids?
Anything else you'd like to say about it.