Thanksgiving refuge here

Sad? Irate? Frustrated? Stuck at work? Not in the US and don't care about our Thanksgiving? Vent it here. (No misery poker.)

(I'm thankful for all of you, even and especially if you're having a crappy day.)

22 thoughts on “Thanksgiving refuge here”

  1. I love my in laws, but I hate travelling with a baby. They have the most uncomfortable mattress ever invented (the floor is more comfy, not kidding!) They also have a very small house that does not have bedrooms away from the living room. I love seeing everyone, but with a 6 month old, it is impossible to get him to sleep when family is over and laughing loudly until 12 or even 2 am. And when family isn’t over, they watch movies really loud or listen to music. Never mind the crying baby in the next room!

  2. I have so much to be thankful for (my health, my family) but I am stuck. I miss my uncle – who passed away in March. Barely had a chance to say farewell to him, as he had pancreatic cancer.Feeling lost a bit, stuck as a stay-home mom with kids in school. My identity is sort of null now and wonder where I fit now.
    I’m starting to wonder if I’m not just crabby all the time, if maybe, just maybe, I need outside help.
    Diane (with whom you shared Emergen-C at BlogHer this year.)

  3. So depressed I can barely move. Still having pain from oral surgery two weeks ago (which I think the doc might have botched). My blood pressure has been high from stress. I broke down in heaving, uncontrollable sobs in daycare last week for basically no reason. My therapist didn’t respond to my email. I went to the emergency room with chest pains over the weekend. I am a mess. I’m lying in my bedroom next to a space heater (because of course my furnace broke this week too), hiding from my kids. Want everything to go away.

  4. Sending you love, Tara. And everyone else. And I’m very thankful for askmoxie as usual!This trip always goes pretty well if you don’t count the 7 hr drive with 3 kids and my parents being divorced and alcoholic and so me always wondering if someone is upset about us splitting the holiday weekend whichever way and will end up drunkenly crying about things. But it is nice to be home. So there’s that.

  5. I’m a bit sad that we’re not having Thanksgiving here in the wasteland of western Denmark until the 8th of December, but (BUT!) thankful we’re having it at all. I found out today that that weekend is blissfully free of other Christmas party obligations. So it will come, just in about 3 weeks…

  6. My family wasn’t invited to Thanksgiving at my mom’s house, so we are having dinner alone at home. I’m putting on a happy face for my kids, but inside I’m angry and sad. I appreciate the spot to vent πŸ™‚

  7. I am thankful for the Internet. Think of how many ways it improves Thanksgiving: refuge and outreach for those dealing with the negative aspects of holiday gatherings, better recipes and techniques, and an appreciation for the world beyond your own kitchen.My kids are old enough to help out. It is cute.
    I got my crankiness out last week. I am enjoying today so far.
    It is also our anniversary. Still lucky. πŸ™‚
    Have a great day. Hugs to anyone feeling poorly.

  8. So far… my mom has : complained about how I made the pumpkin pie, complained about my cleaning habits, complained about our organization, Baked the sweet potatoes while bitching about us not doing it her way… complained about how we fold laundry… OMG, they are staying with us for 8 days. It’s only day 3!!!!!

  9. Doing thanksgiving with my husband and babies and in laws but I really wish I was with my mother who died last year. We always spent thanksgiving volunteering to feed the homeless. I don’t want to be eating $500 worth of whole foods turkeys and whole wheat stuffing, I want to be feeding families who need it with my momma. I should be thankful but instead I am bitter and I want the one thing I can never have again.

  10. @Spacemom – My mother often does the very same things. I think they convince themselves that by being critical, that they are somehow important and necessary. This is typical of insecure parents who may get nervous when then grown children are obviously capable, smart adults – it threatens their role a little.It pisses me off, too. πŸ™‚

  11. I’m not in the US, but I have had a fairly major falling out with my mother after she traveled halfway around the world to see me and meet my kids for the first time. I have apologised to her for my part in things going wrong but she wont accept responsibility for her part and she told me I was not doing a very good job as a mother. I keep coming across things whether they be songs on the radio I have never heard before, articles in the newspaper or blogs that are about regret after a parent dies. I need to find a way to let go of the bitterness in case something happens to her and I regret it for the rest of my life, but she wont talk to me. Also nothing I said to her, or did not do enough of while she was here, really compares to being told you are failing as a mother, how do I let go of that?I hope things get better for you Tara, and Becky your comment was just another one of those things making me think I need to find a way to sort this out, and I’m sorry for your sadness.

  12. My LO started vomiting last night. Luckily he’s feeling much better today, but we had to cancel our travel plans to my inlaws (no turkey!). My husband and I were looking forward to it, too. We had news to share…a new grand baby next July. I’m eight weeks. So, I’m still thankful today. Hope everyone else’s day improves.

  13. I am not in the USA, so Thanksgiving is tragically depressing. I think about how great it was when I was younger- before I moved abroad. I still do it up with friends on the weekend, but it isn’t the same. I’ve also been innviting my folks to come for TG for 15 years, but they always go to my brother’s, who is just a four hour plane ride (I’m ten hours). So, yeah- feeling bummed out over here.I am thankful for my children and husband, my friends, my health.

  14. I am so very thankful for Ask Moxie and the community here. I am so sorry for those in sorrow at Thanksgiving…..Love to Tara. It’s often darkest before the dawn. I’ve been there and so have others, these things too shall pass. Love to Becky too.I’m not in the US and never lived there but I had the privilige of spending one Thanksgiving day in NYC. Ellis Island museum was open that day, and I was deeply moved by those accounts of the immigrant experience.
    The US is unique, and before I did think of Thanksgiving as a nice harvest festival, but it’s unique and also very special.

  15. I too am feeling depressed (angry, resentful, etc.) and don’t quite know how to get out of it… I have moved to four countries in five years and can’t tell you how resentful I am. I have become a very angry and impatient person and not at all who I was.I love my children more than anything but between having my whole world change because of them (not a bad thing) and moving constantly (being the ‘trailing spouse’ sucks!), I’m ready to crack in half. Even considering leaving my husband but dread the thought of taking our children away from him, especially when my ‘home’ is at least a 24 hour travel day away… No idea what I’d do for work as I’ve been well and truly out of the market for five plus years. Just feeling trapped and well on my way to being a cranky and miserable person – not at all the person I was/want to be for my children!
    I’m sorry to dump here as I should be feeling thankful for the many good things in my life but all I really want is to have a happy (and communicative) family instead of being the Bickersons. Feeling awful that this is the example I’m setting for my children.

  16. You know, after years of tortuous Thanksgiving with my flaws, I feel like I have finally found enough common ground with my SIL that we can just roll our eyes when the older family rolls out the same old grudges. Who knew? A year ago we were ready to disown each other.Right now i’m wishing that the drunk people on the condo next to ours would take the volume down a bit. My 4 year old just ran up a fever of 102 right after dinner, so she needs to sleep. Me too! The toddler figured out this week how to ask to nurse AND that since I’m sharing a room with him, he can ask all night long! It’s a good thing he’s cute…

  17. Hey All,Hugs to all of you who have had less than stellar days. I worked long and hard today, held my tongue when it needed to be and tried to enjoy the day. But I was sad…this is my 3rd Thanksgiving without my Mom and I miss her so much – this was truly her holiday. Yes she drove me absolutely nuts a lot…but I always use her recipes and I broke down reading her handwriting this morning. this is also the first holiday I’ve spent without MY family. year one I went to Maine to my brother’s and year two we hosted my sister’s family. This year, I had my MIL over and my daughter was sad that our holiday was soooo small. We had a nice time, a fully complete traditional meal and my MIL did the dishes. I just miss my Mom. It was raw pain this morning and it scared me.

  18. Thanksgiving was great – but a little sad. After a few family members passed in the past few years, our extended family has split up. From one party with sixty to seventy people to three with about twenty people apiece.It does make cleaning up a little bit easier –

  19. I’m a little late…just had time to get on the computer. Thanksgiving was extremely rough. My beloved mother in law just passed away about a month ago from cancer that had metastized to her brain. My wonderful father ended up in the ER Thanksgiving night due to complications from his NHL radiation. Cancer is destroying our family.

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