Maura, who has been reading forever and wrote in a question for a family member a few years ago, sent in that funny question title, and writes:
"I'm writing now with the shockingly happy and incredibly scary news
that, at age 41, I'm pregnant! Just as I began to find some peace
with the idea of being a spinster aunt in my late 30's, I surprised
myself by finding a good guy. Nearly four years later, in September of
this year, we got married. And, shockingly, I now find myself 9 weeks
pregnant! (Honeymoon conception – not completely shocking since we know
how babies are made, but close to completely shocking since at my age
we didn't really think such a thing would occur without medical
We didn't plan for this to happen, and I know that a
lot of things can go wrong with pregnancies at my age, but I feel
incredibly lucky to even have this chance. I vascillate between extreme
acceptance (whatever happens, happens, and I am going to enjoy this
blessing/ opportunity/hope even if something goes wrong with the
pregnancy) and abject terror (OMG is this a miscarriage? OMG
what about genetic anomalies? OMG what if my depression comes back?
OMG I feel old and tired, can I keep up with a baby?) on what feels like an hourly basis.
I'm wondering if you or your readers could recommend
some blogs or discussion groups or support groups or other sources of
sanity and support for a first time mom at 41. I would also welcome
suggestions on great sites and support for staying healthy and sane
during pregnancy, especially for fat women (I use it as a neutral
descriptor, not an insult!) and/or women who struggle with depression.
For my recent wedding, I generally avoided the heavily commercial sites
like "The Knot", and appreciated smaller blogs like A Practical
Wedding, since I don't want to be bombarded with messages about all the
STUFF STUFF STUFF I need to buy during pregnancy, which so many of the
big pregnancy sites seem to be about."
I am completely and utterly out of the loop with websites about pregnancy. So I'm hoping that you all know all about websites that are either focused on older moms or are just friendly to older moms and not all rainbows and kittens and glitter.
Depression during pregnancy I know about. The hormones of the pregnancy can throw you into a pretty serious depression. If you know that, that it's "just" the hormones, it can be easier to deal with, because you can remind yourself that it's like all the other weird changes and it's temporary and you don't have to do anything about it because it's part of the pregnancy.
But women who have depression during pregnancy have a higher rate of PPD, so that's something to watch out for. It doesn't mean you'll get PPD, and we know that the single leading prevention factor for PPD is support, which it sounds like you have. But be watchful and let your husband and friends to know watch for it, too.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope you enjoy it and your labor and delivery are easy!
Who's got resources for Maura?