Book Help: The 4-Month Sleep Regression

What do you want to say about the 4-month sleep regression, or the way 4-month-olds sleep, or are, or anything about being the parent of a 4-month-old?

Think nighttime AND naps. (Or "naps," I guess.)

The audience is you, back when you had a 4-month-old, at 3 am, wondering what was going on and how you could make things get better. What would you have wanted to know or to hear back then?

If you comment on this post you're giving me permission to use your comment in the book. Be sure to add how you want to be listed in the book, like "Magda, MI" or "Moxie, AskMoxie.org" or "M.P., USA" or "Magda Pecseny, Ann Arbor, MI" (only with your name/handle isntead of mine, obviously).

63 thoughts on “Book Help: The 4-Month Sleep Regression”

  1. 1) Beware adding in more sleep associations in an effort to get extra sleep. For instance, my daughter developed an association of my husband (and him only) walking back and forth bouncing her. It only took a few nights before this was the only way she would sleep.2) Sometimes nothing works. Tag team with a spouse (or other trusted person) so when you hit your overflow point, they are fresh and you can go rest and recover.
    3) The only way out is through! It gets better. Eventually.
    4) Be open to forms of sleep training that, as a nonparent, you may have been averse to for whatever reason. Your child’s needs and your philosophy may be different. Having me in the room a la Elizabeth Pantley and not holding her was much more stressful for my daughter than Ferber’s method.

  2. Four months old is when, for us, we felt we had to do sleep training. We hadn’t done it at all up until then, just paid attention to her cues about being sleepy and helped soothe her to sleep. But at four months she was crying and crying and crying in the evenings (very unlike her) and nothing would help…we finally figured out she was over exhausted every evening but just couldn’t/wouldn’t go to sleep. We finally decided to let her cry it out in her crib because she was so obviously miserable, as were we. First night was 40 minutes and I almost literally had a heart attack, it was so anxiety-inducing. Second night was 20 minutes, third night 10. By the fourth night she was going right to sleep in her crib. For us, it was like a miracle…but so hard deciding to do that and getting to that point.–CA in Massachusetts

  3. This is what I would say to myself when I had a four month old (and I hope I remember it this next time around):You are doing it right. You are doing the best you can. Your son is growing and changing and probably confused and tired himself you are supporting him the best you know how. Hold on, because it will pass, everything passes and one day you will barely remember it.
    Truthfully I don’t think there was much that could’ve made things better other than pumping and letting my husband take over nighttime duties once a week or so. Which I should have done, I will do this time around. That was when we started cosleeping, it maximized sleep for all of us, but even that sleep was restless and not much.
    Melissa, MN

  4. I think at 4 months old was the first time we saw my daughter “working on a project.” She was teaching herself to roll over – and that was interfering with her sleep. Once she reached the milestone she was working on, she was able to sleep again.I kind of think that this is one of the first ages that you are able to really see “growing pains” in your kids. It looks kind of like teething sometimes, (e.g. unexplained crankiness) but with less drool.
    Cathy, Florida

  5. The 4 month-old sleep regression is one of the first cruelties you’ll experience as a parent. New baby, shock and awe, finally getting into a parenting groove, and then WHAM! No sleep and wondering why suddenly everything you’re doing is wrong. Take heart, though. This is only the first of many “What am I doing?” thoughts you’ll have: crazy 3s, sassy 7s, and my personal favorite– the “I wasn’t supposed to deal with this behavior for 5 more years” pre-pre teen years.Alecia in Smyrna, GA

  6. You may not have a 4 month sleep regression because 1) you may not have had any sleep in the past 4 months to regress from or 2) You may have the perfect sleeper baby.Go for option 2, if you have the choice….
    This too will pass
    This too will pass
    This too will pass

  7. My husband and I had a secret codephrase: Fresh Arms. As in, “You are about to lose your everlovoing mind. Give me the baby, because Fresh Arms are more relaxed and can work wonders.” Or, alternately, “I need you to take the baby because I might throw him out the window. My arms are too tense to comfort him. He needs Fresh Arms.”Also, babies this age often sleep for 20 minutes or 45 minute naps during the day. It sucks, but it isn’t anything you are doing wrong. It will get better. Eventually.
    Elizabeth, VA

  8. Having just lived through it, I would tell my one-month-ago self that 1) it really does get better! and 2) the cute baby smiles help.But most importantly, you are not doing anything wrong. You did not break the baby.
    Jenn, VA

  9. It gets better.You`re doing it right.
    Trade off with your partner so you both get some sleep.
    You`re not going to ruin the baby if you break some of the rules you swore you`d live by. (See: letting him sleep on you, cry it out, etc.)
    Also: it gets better. You`re doing it right.

  10. What I tell people is hard as it is to understand when SO desperately tired. They should try, in those moments, to ignore howmcrappynthey feel, and to open to the feeling that in only a few years, these quiet moments (when they have become quiet :), in the quiet of the night, are precious and few with their tiny little baby. This sounds like a bunch of crap, but it helped me back then, when I realized it.

  11. Sleep. By whatever means necessary. Don’t worry about doing any longlasting harm to baby sleep habits. In these stages, whatever gets the most people, the most sleep wins.Erin

  12. Whoops- should have “previewed”-What I tell people is hard to understand when SO desperately tired.
    BUT they should try, in those moments, to ignore how crappy and tired they feel, and to open to the feeling that in only a few years, these quiet moments (when they have become quiet :), in the quiet of the night, are precious and few with their tiny little baby.
    This really sounds like a bunch of crap, but it helped me back then, when I realized it.

  13. I know you thought things were on track to getting better and now it feels like they never will. But I promise you, they will get better. Yes, this feels likes an emergency, and it is, so let the housework go, try to optimise for everybody’s getting as much sleep as much as possible and whatever you do, do not read sleep-training books. Finally, put away all clocks/watches and stop calculating how many hours of sleep you managed to get at night, that will just make you feel worse.It will get better!

  14. 1. It will pass.2. It’s not anything you’re doing.
    3. Your baby does not hate you.
    4. Hire a babysitter and go take a nap.
    5. Tag-team night duty with a spouse, if you can, and buy earplugs for your night to sleep.
    6. Even the people who smugly say their 4 month old is sleeping through the night will hit a sleep regression at some point.
    7. Don’t slug anyone for unsolicited advice. You can THINK about it, but don’t actually hit anyone.

  15. Resist, in your desperation, the urge to try solid food despite the fact that you’ve read it will have no impact on sleep. It wont. Don’t add another component to your complicated life. Although, it may help distract you to find some fun new milestone to focus on, so don’t feel bad if you give it a try. But don’t delude yourself that it will improve sleep.Also, remember that it’s different for everybody. My baby was always easy to put down, even during the 4 month sleep regression. But she went from sleeping through the night to waking repeatedly at 4 months and it lasted until she was about a year old. Insanity. But she continues to go down easily and now usually sleeps through the night as well. Every time we got so exhausted that we steeled ourselves to try cry-it-out, she would give us a blissful night or two of uninterupted sleep, and so we never got to that point. But again I think that has to do with the fact that she went to sleep on her own no problems. We always put her down awake and never had a problem doing so. I think a baby waking from sleep crying is harder to ignore than a baby crying before it fell asleep.
    Lots of rambling, unorganized thoughts in there. And I can’t even blame lack of sleep anymore!
    Tara, Minneapolis

  16. Once you’ve checked that you aren’t doing anything to actually mess up your baby’s sleep (and chances are, you aren’t), then stop focusing on the baby’s sleep and start focusing on the parents’ sleep- as in, what can you do to make sure both parents are getting enough sleep to be functional. Not great- that probably isn’t in the cards. But functional. Think about things like: one parent taking the baby out for a long walk so the other can nap, having the non-nursing parent do one night feeding with a bottle (of expressed milk or formula- whatever works for you) so that the nursing parent can get a little more uninterrupted sleep, etc. Change the focus of your problem solving from the baby to YOU.I wish I’d figured that out a lot earlier than I did.
    I’ll also add, as the mother of two kids who were pretty poor sleepers as babies and early toddlers- when you get through to the other side, and look back and realize you got through with the most important of your parenting principles intact (whatever those might be)- it feels pretty awesome. So hang in there. It will get better.
    –Cloud at http://www.wandering-scientist.com

  17. Things I hoped were true, or wish I’d known for sure:1) Your baby won’t remember you swearing and/or screaming in the dead of night when you fall off the edge of the deep end. Give ‘er. It won’t fix anything but sometimes a good old fashioned freak out is all you get.
    2) Nothing is permanent and you can change your mind. The baby will do something different soon and when she does, you can do something different too. Or you can do something different now, and see if she does something different. But for sure, 2 weeks from now, something is going to be different.
    ACJ, Canada

  18. We never had the 4 month regression because we never had sleep to begin with. My advice? 7 years passed under the bridge like time was standing still. Snuggle and remember that this will pass. I know it sounds cliche, but really, they grow so fast.

  19. We were pretty “lucky” with the four month sleep regression, in that we only had a week where everything went to pot at night. But we weren’t starting with stellar sleeping to begin with (30 minute naps, only recently starting to be in the crib, plus night wakings that didn’t stop until 13 months). A friend’s baby, who had been sleeping through from about 9 p.m. until 7 a.m. started waking at four months, and didn’t stop until close to the year mark. Another friend’s baby did the exact same thing, except he had been sleeping twelve hours straight at three months. At four he added a night feed and he kept it until well past sixteen months.I took fewer photos during months four and five. I think it’s when I started to really run out of gas. And another friend told me when I was in the throes of it that she could handle a newborn again, but not a four-month-old.
    I would say this:
    – the four month regression is a permanent change in your baby’s sleep. The worst of it will settle down eventually. Try to accept your new normal when it does.
    – do not assume your baby should be sleeping through the night at this age (even if your baby was sleeping through the night previously).
    – keep working on independent sleep habits, but trust yourself and your baby. You are doing the right thing. Be gentle with yourself, your baby and your partner.
    – your baby will probably drop the fourth nap at four months if s/he hadn’t dropped it already
    – four months is a great time to get some family in for an extended visit if at all possible. They can help your little one practice rolling over, wriggling around on the floor, and grasping at things, while you can try to get some sleep.
    – And, for Dads- I know you are tired too. I know you are more exhausted than you’ve ever been before. But, unless you are handling the bulk of the night wakings/feedings, do not complain to your partner each morning how tired you are. She will want to kill you. And do not say things like, “Wow, what an epic sleep for the little guy!” because it will turn out you slept through two feedings, and again, your partner will want to kill you.
    Four months, for me, was when I first understood why everyone kept telling me to “treasure these moments, they grow up so quickly”. For the first three months I wanted to punch anyone who said that. At four months I suddenly found myself wanting to slow down time.
    This too shall pass. It’s only a phase.

  20. I really don’t remember a bad sleep regression at that age but maybe I didn’t know that one existed. I remember the regular naps falling into place and how exciting that was. I do remember every other sleep regression since. Working on the 18 month one now. Good Luck everyone!

  21. My little one is currently 4.5 months old so we’re in the midst of the sleep regression. It really helps to understand why it’s happening so put down the sleep books and pick up Wonder Weeks instead – it gives great insights into the various developmental changes your baby is going through.Other things that have helped us include:
    – sharing night time duties. For example, this labor day weekend, my husband took the monitor in the spare room until the first waking when he tried to resettle our daughter without disturbing me. Then I took over (I nursed her) and then I had the monitor for the rest of the night. So I got several solid hours sleep. We did this for the three nights.
    – I pumped enough milk for a whole night so my husband took over all of the night feedings on a Saturday – I think it helped him bond with her and I’ve really noticed a change in their relationship since then. I still woke several times but I think that was out of habit!
    – Our daughter suddenly decided she didn’t want to fall asleep nursing anymore (for naps or bedtime) so we decided it was as good a time as any to start to help her fall asleep in her crib rather than on me. We had to take it in turns to settle her but it does seem to have made a difference to the night wakings – and she doesn’t wake up 45 minutes after going to bed so often now.
    – Naps are still variable – often they’re 45 minutes but sometimes she’ll surprise me with a 2 hour one! Most often she naps in the stroller as this seems the easiest way to help her drop-off now that she doesn’t nurse to sleep.
    – And finally we remember: this too shall pass.
    Christine, CA (via the UK)

  22. Oh the 4 month regression, and my 4 month aggression that stemmed from it. My partner wasn’t able to help with nighttime feeds due to work, so it was all me and my screaming babe. I would tell a new mom: let them sleep whenever they will sleep. And when they do, you take a nap. Or if you can’t nap, read something pleasurable. Or if you have another child, play a quiet game just to rest your ears. Also look at pictures of your baby doing something cute to remind yourself she isn’t angry all the time.I had a hard time asking for help, but I would go over to my in-law’s house to “visit” and then hand over the baby.
    It’s not you, it’s her 🙂
    – Heather from Pitt Meadows, B.C., Canada

  23. Our 4-month sleep regression was probably typical, but it felt like being battered on a continual basis.What I found was hardest to accept: whatever came before, as far as sleep patterns, is over. Expect nothing. And whatever you’re feeling is normal for someone so sleep deprived.
    I had a hard time with everything, even if it was good. Husband would put her in the baby carrier and walk around outside, and she’d fall asleep. Instead of being glad or grateful or relieved, I was irritated that he succeeded where I’d failed. When DD started a new sleep (or waking) habit, I’d feel completely blindsided.
    I don’t know how practical it is to advise someone to try to roll with it, but that’s all I’ve got.
    As for sleep training, if something failed miserably at one stage, don’t abandon it forever. The baby may be developmentally ready for it in a month or two.
    Claudia

  24. Thank you, Moxie, for being the only place I ever even HEARD about the 4-month-sleep regression. Just knowing that it was a real thing and not just my baby/my parenting that suddenly freaked out helped immensely.Barb, Salt Lake City, Utah

  25. There’s huge developmental things happening at this age. Things you can see like rolling over and things you can’t like all the new awareness they suddenly must have.Its a bit like the newborn phase again. But it passes. Know its coming. Know that it passes. And hold on tight! Because pretty soon they’ll be on to something new!

  26. One thing I found really helpful was being told not to worry about “bad habits” BEFORE this regression. After a month or so, I was worried that by letting my newborn would sleep 5-7 hours in a row in the swing, I was setting myself up for problems later. My sister (best ever!) told me shut up and enjoy it because everything was going to change at 4 months anyway. She was right. And following her advice helped me have a lot less sleep deficit when that regression came (and boy, did it come with a vengeance) and not to blame myself in any way for it. I saw it as a ridiculously exhausting developmental phase, not something I could have prevented.Alex from NY

  27. The two things that got us through the four month sleep regression were (1) discovering (from this blog) that it wasn’t just us, and (2) crying it out at five months. I hated the latter, but man, it worked like a charm after six weeks of gentler methods.Sally from CA

  28. 45 minute naps are normal, but not eternal. hang in there, and use your energy during this time to not envy, angst, or worry, but on mastering the restorative 25 minute nap or the 30 minute household blitz.my girl was a 45 minute napper from about 4 months to 10 or 11 months. as the naps dropped, her naps lengthened. it felt like it took forever. it felt like i was doing something wrong. it didn’t and i wasn’t. when i surrendered and gave in, realizing that this was who she was, we all were a lot happier. i wish i’d done that from the beginning.
    carrie from fl

  29. ohhhhhh, the four month sleep regression! It is what very first introduced me to Ask Moxie.Most of what I have to say is the same as many others here… It gets better. It does, and on its very own….
    I remember the awful feeling that I was doing something wrong, grasping desperately for the magic key that would open the door to better sleep for both my baby and me. We tried solid foods, different rooms, everything we could think of. I even remember wandering the halls of our local big box store trying to think of a possible “product” that would help us get more sleep. Such a horrible feeling.
    The things that helped:
    1. This website and knowing I wasn’t alone
    2. Realizing it was going to happen in his time and there was no right or wrong.
    Just wait and remember the worst case scenario: in another month or two CIO is a viable (although unpleasant) option.

  30. this was the stage where I had to sometimes leave the room to avoid throwing my screaming baby against the wall, or shoving a pillow down on her face. Dark times.Nothing worked for me; I bounced on a yoga ball in the dark bathroom with the fan on for literally 3 hours one night, and any time I’d try to move, she’d start screaming again.
    for 6 weeks between months 4 and 5 (and some very serious food protein intolerances exacerbated by her big developmental leaps), I averaged about 45 minutes of unbroken sleep a night. I very nearly lost my sanity.
    I cut out dairy and soy and she finally stopped screaming ALL the time, and started smiling *for the first time* (smiles sorta help, yeah)…and then eventually she was 5.5 months old and slept for 2-3 hours at a stretch, which felt like heaven. A 2-week heaven before the 6 month sleep regression began. LOL.
    I cannot recommend cranial-sacral therapy highly enough. If there are any X factors to the crappy sleep situation, this can help right them. It may not miraculously override all the standard developmental busyness, but it can help integrate a lot of other possible issues. (It’s also really helpful for parents strung out on adrenaline from all the sleeplessness and/or screaming!)
    Laura in Oregon

  31. Knowing that there even was such a thing as a sleep regression probably saved my sanity. My daughter slept 5 hours or more per night from three weeks on, but I knew from Ask Moxie and reading the Wonder Weeks that it might not last. And sure enough, on the eve of her 4-month birthday, WHAM. Up every hour and a half, or even every 45 minutes. Knowing it was normal right from the start made it seem inevitable, not unmaneagable.Also, remember that the regression will hit every baby differently. My daughter for as many times as she woke up was easily nursed back to sleep – cosleeping meant we were rarely out of bed or even awake for more than 20 minutes at a time. And yet I think BECAUSE it was so easy to get her back to sleep, we never really dealt with the wakings and the regression didn’t really end. I don’t know if I’d do anything differently now that we’re finally (at almost two) seeing 6-hour stretches again. But I know a lot of people wouldn’t have put up with it for as long as we did, either. If your kid doesn’t bounce back on his own, be prepared to either nightwean/sleep train (by whatever method you prefer) or live with one very long regression that will still, eventually, get better. That choice is an individual one, and what might be the obvious solution for one person, might not be for you. (I can remember very specifically giving advice to moms with younger babies in my LLL group about nightweaning or using the No-Cry Sleep solution, when the whole time we just accepted the wakings and I nursed, and nursed, and nursed my daughter back to sleep, sometimes hating it, but never being willing to put in the effort to try the alternatives I was recommending to others at the end of their rope.)
    Rebecca in SoCal

  32. Oh man. I wish someone had told me that its normal, that nothing is wrong, and don’t worry, I don’t have to do anything to “fix it”. My kid sleeps how she sleeps, and it is no indication of how well I parent. Just wait it out. Be kind to myself. Relax my standards. Hibernate a bit.Then I would want a big hug, and to be told that it’s hard. But it’ll get easier. And one day she’ll sleep through. And it won’t be because I had done something to “fix it” it would just be because she started to sleep through the night. (Though I wouldn’t have told four-month-old mother self that it wouldn’t be until my daughter was TWENTY-SIX months old that sleeping through the night became a thing)

  33. There wasn’t a regression to be had, simply because our child slept like hell from week one ’til well into her second year.Honestly, looking back I wish I hadn’t worried myself so much over her lack of sleep. I’m a worrier by nature, and the post-partum worries were the worst. I was terrified that her lack of sleep as an infant would completely ruin her future in many, many ways. But now, as a grade schooler, our daughter is as bright, fun, healthy, and strong as they come. She is amazing.
    We tried everything, but in our case nothing we tried could change her sleep behavior. Obviously, maximizing your infant’s sleep is a good thing – but if you’re doing your best and it’s still not working, it’s okay to step back and take care of yourselves if possible. My best advice for someone going through a similar situation is simply to take care of the caregivers, emotionally and physically. Take heart that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
    Allison, OR

  34. Trust in all you have learned in the fourth trimester and move through this moment confident in that gained wisdom. For that is what it truly is, a moment, a wonderful, terrible, intense, glorious moment in your child’s life and there are many more to come!Kerstin, gentlesurge.com

  35. Ai cu siguranță unele opinii și puncte de vedere agreabile. Pe blog-ul dvs. oferă o privire proaspătă la subject.Have-ați gândit la introducerea unor butoane de marcare socială la aceste bloguri. Cel puțin pentru google.I Apreciez articolele de pe site-ul dvs.. Faci o treabă bună! Multumesc mult.

  36. Wonder Weeks, Wonder Weeks, Wonder Weeks. This book (and the community here at Moxie) was crucial for me because it helped me to understand that my baby was NORMAL, that sleep regressions are normal, that sleep patterns change, and that I needed to stop worrying about ruining the baby forever with my parenting choices. I really wish I had let my first baby cry less – if I could go back in time, I would trade less sleep for less crying. My second baby only slept for 45 minutes to 1.5 hrs for the entire period of 2.5 – 7.5 months. I almost lost my mind, but I never regretted being more responsive. With my first, I was in the thrall of those awful sleep books; by the time I had my second, I knew how to trust my instincts.Erin, VA

  37. Thanks Moxie and all the responses, my 4.5 month old is deep into this and at least I know my situation is not really that bad. What I have learned most so far is that every thing changes, week to week and day to day. Last night in a moment of desparation, after nursing and rocking and bouncing, I took off my son’s swaddle blanket, he quieted down, layed him in the crib and in about 1 minute he was rolled over on his side sucking his thumb and fast asleep. Who knew?

  38. The four month sleep regression is sort of like childbirth. It’s horrible and it’s awful and you have no idea how you’ll survive it, and then as soon as it’s over you develop this wonderful amnesia about the whole thing. (Our regression last from 4 months right on through the age of 11 months and I know if I remembered it better I’d be more terrified about what’s to come with the 7 week old that’s squaking on his playmat next to me right now.)KB, Maine

  39. What I wish I’d known with my first at four months:1/ Occasionally co-sleeping with your baby does not mean that they will never go to sleep in their cot again, and (due care taken of course) it is extremely unlikely that you will accidentally squash them, they will slip under the covers etc etc.
    2/ If you have a partner, get them to take the baby anywhere else in the house that is feasible for a few hours a night – spare room, couch, floor, anywhere – so that you can get some decent sleep in your own bed.
    3/ One day your baby will sleep for a substantial period between 7pm and 7pm. Thinking of this period as ‘through the night’ is misleading and may lead to depression and false expectations. When you reach this point, unless you did the hardcore leave-them-to-cry sleep training, it will be apparent that pretty much nothing else you did made any difference to how long it took to get there.
    Kay, UK.

  40. I loved it when I found out that researchers had proven that it didn’t matter what you did, the sleep would change at 4 months and improve again after that stage. So parents who sleep trained, or added solid food, had EXACTLY the same results two weeks later that parents who didn’t sleep train or didn’t add solid foods had. The fact that the stage makes us desperate to do something just when it is almost going to change means it is easy to claim ‘I did this and it changed everything!’ – and there’s no way to run the alternate experiment, so you have 1:1 proof in your own case for whatever it was you did. Only that’s true for eveyone else, too, regardless of what they did or didn’t do.That let me (eventually) ignore everyone else’s ‘this is what works’ because I knew ‘anything I do will eventually work or not work based on my child’s natural changes in sleep pattern’. I could then choose to not change my parenting to try to fix what was normal (but miserable) for the period.
    I got one child who didn’t sleep ‘through’ until 4 years, and this phase was just a blur in the middle of a lot of sleep interruption. I got one who slept beautifully at 6 weeks and this phase was cranky-making but not horrid (at least that I recall). I got twins who hit this on an offset cycle one/two and I swear it was so bad that I lost about two months of short-term memory (I don’t remember things I see in photos from this period – no recall at all). They all went out the other side of this and they all sleep pretty well, without me having to change my parenting other than whatever it took to get me enough sleep to get through.
    The kid who didn’t sleep through until 4 years I can now barely wake up in the morning, he’s out cold all night. The one who slept beautifully now sleepwalks occasionally, and wakes to go to the bathroom, and is more likely to be ‘up and down’ but also seems rested in the morning. One twin sleeps restlessly sometimes because she has reflux, but otherwise is fine; the other twin takes a long time to settle but then is out hard and wakes up on her own most of the time. All normal okay range now, even though 4 months is still a time my mind flinches away from recalling spontaneously.
    -hedra, Delaware

  41. Ours hit around 4.5 months, and it’s just coming to a close now. But for about two weeks our champion sleep-through-the-nighter-from-8-weeks-on turned into a fussy night waker. It was like she graduated Newborn with flying colors to find herself a struggling Freshman in Infant.We got two crucial takeaways from Weissbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). One: “Sleep Begets Sleep.” The better they nap during the day, the better they sleep at night (and, perhaps, the earlier to bed, the LATER to rise). This is the time to focus on the next level: NAPS. Once we put all the effort & strategy we’d put into nighttime sleep into daytime sleep, we had our baby back.
    Regarding that effort & strategy, here is the second great Weissbluth tidbit: Timing is everything. Learn the early sleep cues, just like early hunger cues, and soothe down for naptime right away, before the dreaded second wind hits. Weissbluth says with the right timing there may be no crying at all, and in our case that was what we found.
    Another thing: This is NOT the time to strip yourself of the powerful tools in your sleep-inducing arsenal. If the swaddle works, and the baby still likes it and isn’t flipping over at night, keep it. If nursing down works, use that. The biggest mistake we made was trying to wean her of these two things due to random outside advice based on her age. When we brought them back we were able to get her on a baby-led nap schedule and, in turn, dramatically improve her night’s sleep and ours. We may not be totally out of the woods yet but we see the clearing…
    So: Naps, Timing, No Weaning yet. Good luck!!

  42. What I’ve learned about babies and sleep: it requires work and it will likely change, so don’t take any good sleeping periods for granted!Cindy, Roanoke, VA

  43. Naoko Takahashi endorsement ASICS, also won the gold medal in the women’s marathon wearing Asics Running Shoes, enough practicable card. Followed by the support plate, but wearing now completely healed

  44. One thing I remember — the old saw of sleep when the baby sleeps is true. The only way I survived the 4th month sleep regression was to nap (co-sleeping right next to my son) whenever he napped. I found that napping next to him led to him having longer naps, too. If he fussed and woke up for a bit, I nursed him right back down. (This only lasted until I went back to work after a 6 month maternity leave. And his sleep only improved at @ 8 months.) — Jennifer

  45. No matter how prepared I was for baby, this is one thing I hadn’t ever heard of until I was desperately googling for answers as to why our 4 month old isn’t sleeping….ever. Oddly enough this started the day he turned exactly four months old (which was 3 days ago) and judging by the comments, we are in the beginning stages of slowly losing our minds. I have to say though, going to bed when he does gives us the longest stretch of uninterrupted sleep. I usually put him down about 8 and he would sleep until 4-4:30. Now he wakes up about 1…then 1:30…then 2…etc. and in trying to keep my sanity and reserve my energy, he is currently sleeping so soundly next to me that you would think he has been asleep this whole time. These comments helped so much, Im a person that needs answers and after coming across this website I’m about 110% certain it explains what we are going through. “Good”night.

  46. The 4 month sleep regression almost killed me. I was struggling with PPD at the time and in a haze of anxiety, insomnia and my daughter’s constant waking almost tipped me over the edge. She had been a terrible sleeper from birth, nursing almost on the hour at night but after 4 months of this I thought it would improve … no way, it got worse. Much worse.The naps, when they happened after an hour of rocking and singing, would last 30 minutes max.
    It did pass. If you are the throes of this right now, it will pass. Your baby may not revert back to sleeping the way they did before the regression hit, but it DOES get better.

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  48. I also found this while googling ” why won’t my baby sleep”. The first thing I noticed was all the times people were posting, 1am…4am… I had to laugh a little because it seems we all found this site in our desperation to find answers. I am a “googler” every new stage or issue with my little one and I have to see if she is normal or if I am doing it right. Little is 3 months and a week and all of a sudden she went from sleeping 7 hours with a feed then back to sleep for another 3 or 4 to waking every 1.5-2 hours. After a week if this I feel beat up. I went through the what am I doing wrong to is she sick and eventually to what can I do to change this. From reading this I realize I can’t do anything to change HER but I can change me. I can live her through this, show her grace and cut myself some slack. This too shall pass… To quote some great people on this site this craptastic sleepless vortex of hell will end eventually. Happy napping everyone!

  49. I enjoy this feeling will never realize what happened, I do not know will be a day to achieve it, and perhaps one day start, day end.I hope you will have a different model of the more interesting post, thank you for sharing with us.

  50. So, we’re in the midst of what I can only assume is a sleep regression for my 5 month old preemie (3-1/2 months adjusted), which is not sayin much because his sleep was inconsistent at best previously. However, he went from sleeping in his crib to not sleeping anywhere but with us. On the the couch. It’s awful. While all the info is great and it’s nice to know we’re not alone, what I’d like to know are the “how’s”. HOW do you avoid new associations? Do you keep trying the crib, nap time, routine, etc and, in our case, resort to the couch only after he refuses the crib? Or do you give in to whatever works for a little while and hope he doesn’t develop a bad habit? HOW do you know it’s over? Do they just go back by themselves (wishful thinking) or do you actively have to train them at this point? And if so, HOW?

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