My thoughts on Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer and maternity leave

(A few people have asked me if they can just send me coffee money for the writing process. You can Paypal me at magdamedia@gmail.com. I will happily accept your coffee money, but please don't feel obliged!)

Marissa Mayer is the new CEO of Yahoo, and she's pregnant with her first child, and she's announced that she plans to take only a few weeks at home after the birth and continue working the entire time.

There are a bunch of angles to this story. Annie at PhD in Parenting covers a lot of them, so I'm just going to tell you the first few things I thought when I heard the story:

1. It's her first baby. She doesn't know what the experience is like yet. Combine this with…

2. She might really love her job. If I had another baby, of COURSE I'd be writing again right away. I love writing. It's how I am. I'd also be generating ideas like I always do. It would blend together with taking care of the baby, because not being allowed to think or write or talk to people about the projects we're doing would be ludicrous. If Mayer loves her job, OF COURSE she's going to be answering emails and talking to her staff and all of that stuff.

Compartmentalizing–telling women they have to do nothing but take care of their babies, or nothing but go to work all day for 9 hours and not think of their children–is weird and harmful. A mother is still a person. People have things they love to do, that they can't help doing. If you imagined your ideal day, you wouldn't restrict your thoughts to only one topic.

3. I'm happy she has the luxury to find out what mix is right for her. If, on Day 3, she slows down her work because she needs to focus more on the baby (or physical recovery or any of the other zillion things that can happen postpartum), she can do that. If her baby is a breeze and she has an easy recovery and her brain migrates more toward work and she's ready to go back to the office sooner than she thought, she can do that. She can adjust, once she finds out how it's going for her. Most of us can't do that. But if we had the chance, I would hope we'd take that opportunity.

4. No matter what she does, someone's going to be mad at her.

Not me. I'm glad she has the chance to do what she wants to do. I wish all of us did.

Thoughts?

57 thoughts on “My thoughts on Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer and maternity leave”

  1. An element that I think is often neglected from this discussion is her spouse/partner’s contribution. Maybe that person is going to be the primary childcare provider. Or she might not be planning to nurse, which certainly changes the mother’s time requirements/flexibility. I agree with you – someone is going to judge her, no matter what, but it won’t be me. We all do what we can.

  2. I went the same places you did.I think she’s probably fooling herself about how much having a baby will impact her self concept, time, priorities, etc., though I know some moms who didn’t hit that change until the second child.
    I suspect given her history that she does REALLY love this kind of work. I think she’ll likely be hungry for it, driven to do it, even if she is absorbed by the baby. That may make the adjustment harder, or easier, no way to tell from here.
    She’s got resources to draw on that will make all of it easier. She can get a nanny, a baby nurse, etc., and make space in her life. I don’t know what her partner (husband? any?) does, but they’re probably used to accommodating the demands of executive work. It will still probably impact their relationship, but that happens anyway, so… hopefully she uses her resources to navigate that well.
    And yes, someone will think she’s doing it All Wrong, and that she is Not The Best Mother For Her Child (or not the best CEO for her company, etc.).
    As a woman now in a leadership position myself, and with an unexpected ambition to continue to be in a leadership position, *and* with four kids I love, *and* a husband I love who also has a job, *and* a garden I like to spend time working on, I find that the only way to stay in balance is to follow a tai chi approach (think of the taiji symbol, the black and white circle in dynamic motion, with always a little of the other in each side). I struggle to keep the dynamic motion and not lock down into an either/or, but at each end of the cycle (which can be hours or days in length, and in some senses, also years in length), I can’t completely drop the other side, or I get stuck.
    I don’t have her resources financially, but I have other resources, and my kids are old enough to also be adaptive to the dynamics. I am trying to keep it both Yin and Yang, and it sounds like she’s aiming to do the same.
    I do wish everyone could do that, to the degree they have passion to do so. Men included (as much as it is a welcome surprise to have a woman CEO, pregnant, announce the fact, it would also be great if male CEOs said things like ‘we are expecting/adopting, and I will be dividing my effort between home and family during this important time’ (which is effectively what she’s saying).
    I’m reading How Remarkable Women Lead, and Marissa Mayer would be another very good case in point for the approach – it is one of the few I have encountered that actually works, that allows women to retain their sense of self and also both follow their ambitions and maintain their relationships and families. The trick is that it is absolutely individual in terms of how the dynamic shifts, and when, and what it looks like. It is a principle approach, rather than a rules approach. Maybe that’s why I like it. 🙂

  3. I sort of hate that this is held up as some sort of ideal. 2-3 weeks maternity leave? I couldn’t really sit without pain at 2 weeks, so I couldn’t have gone back to work. And if the CEO is setting the tone for the company, that is a really shitty place to work. I think the timing of this new job probably sucks for her on a lot of levels. Getting your dream job (if that’s what this is) at 6 months pg is both awesome and terrible. But I don’t really care what she does. I care how we talk about it as a society. And the conversation seems to be that women can do it! Of course they can go back to work at 2 weeks postpartum! GO GIRL. When, that is really, really not the case for most women. Sure, some women have no choice, but that doesn’t make it easy or good. And also? She hasn’t had the baby yet. She hasn’t actually done it. So let’s not get ahead of ourselves with how great this is.

  4. Moxie, once again, you’ve nailed it. I live in a glass house, so I’m not about to run around judging others. Part of being a CEO is saying things, and, often, things you have to take back. Send her a copy of your guidelines for PPD. But wish her the best of luck in fulfilling her life.

  5. I think I am reading this differently that you are. I’m seeing this as sort of a female machismo (femismo? yeah, let’s not try to make that happen) that “of COURSE I won’t be thrown off my stride by having a baby! I can run with the big boys!”I hope she does have the freedom to do things as she sees fit–super work-focused one day, super baby-focused the next as things dictate — but I’m reading this more that she’d better not break stride for a second for doing something so monumentally female as having a baby or ELSE. I think that’s sad…you don’t get to be CEO of Yahoo without being a highly effective person, and she can likely handle it the way you describe, but I think the pressure will be on her to act as if having a baby was just no big thing and she can plunge right back in. And need it be said that this is an unfortunate situation for a high-profile woman to be in, when we need MORE and BETTER maternity leave in this country, not less? Obviously she’s not taking a year off at full pay even if that was an option here in the US, but I can imagine someone wayyy lower on the food chain at Yahoo trying to negotiate better leave for herself and hearing “our CEO took three weeks working from home and you want your WHOLE FLMA time? Slacker.”
    Also, I do write for a living and as a freelancer could not afford to take any kind of extended time off; I did three weeks with both kids, if memory serves, although I had the luxury of working at home so it’s not like I had to be at an office every day. And getting back into it so soon was both wonderful in that it restored my sense of self as a fully rounded human, not just a diaper changer and nurser, and terrible in that it was a TON harder than it had been for awhile…especially with my first, I was SO unused to having to be on my game after having my sleep interrupted every two hours and I would just want to cry when my brain couldn’t form the words like it did before. It came back, and better, but MAN that was hard for awhile.

  6. @Brooke, I haven’t been reading the same media – what I saw looked like it is held up as an ideal that she was hired at all, given that she was pregnant. Which is kind of sad commentary, all things considered.Granted, expectations roll downhill, so female managers are not in a good spot for maternity leave expectations, even if policy is different deeper down.
    I wonder if her leave duration would have been different if she was less close to being due (first six months of a new CEO role are pretty intense in general), but no way to tell from here.
    And as Nancy said, part of being CEO is changing your tune repeatedly. Probably a perk of the role, at that (changing it without anyone thinking that is unusual…).

  7. I completely agree with your points above. I do hope her choices don’t set the tone for other parents at her company. It is one thing for her to choose to return to work as quickly as she plans, but having that as the standard against which other parents are judged would be awful. Most people have neither the desire nor the resources to do what she is planning.From my own experience, I answered a couple work calls the day after I had my second daughter. I work from home and I was at home (I had her at a birth center), so I answered the phone and responded without ever leaving my bed. I don’t really consider that going back to work – it’s just what I do (as you said about continuing to write), and I think there’s a world of difference between not compartmentalizing and heading back to the office every day.
    I wish her well, whatever she ends up doing.

  8. Great post, Moxie. “No matter what she does, someone’s going to be mad at her.” Amen! Clap clap clap. Personally, I was irritated by her slurs against feminists, but I digress – that’s a completely separate issue from what folks feel she “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing in her personal life.Re: “she’s probably fooling herself and a first-time mom simply has no idea” Wrong.
    I fail to see how Mayer’s estimate about taking a 2 week leave is written somewhere in stone. Rather, the CEO of a public company has a duty not to send the company’s stock price into a nosedive, so she’s wise to measure her words. The boss can change her mind if the postpartum reality isn’t as predicted. Unless somebody’s going to be staking out her office parking lot and hacking her work email, nobody outside Yahoo is going to be the wiser if “2 weeks” turns out to be poetic license.
    She’s a fantastic role model for the narrow subset of women who want to give birth and still want to be a CEO in this messed up American workaholic culture. Such women exist, and even more women who won’t make that choice (or have the opportunity to make it) would at least like to dream of that possibility. Thirty years go, this opportunity wouldn’t have been possible. Now it is, and she’s proving it. That’s awesome. That’s cause for celebration.
    And, let’s be clear – she’s not choosing career over family or her child. She’s choosing career over being the primary caregiver of her child (that’s what she’s saying she’ll do right now anyway). This might not make her a role model for any particular woman, or one who wants to be a primary caregiver, or one who has a very strong, One True Way opinion that an actual parent as primary caregiver is the way things ought to be or else they have suspect motives for having kids in the first place crap, and/or even for the average hard-charging professional woman. But, obviously that’s not everyone. We all should know the kids will be fine no matter what, so really, who cares?
    We shouldn’t expect that her situation adhere to what the average woman wants – the magical 3-month-long leave number that seems like a lot in the US or the 1-year the enlightened world gets to have? We all want different things. I wanted 17 weeks the first time around, and 3 weeks the second. Call me crazy. We each get to decide whether or not she’s an appropriate role model for us personally. I think feminism (which by the way, Mayer has disavowed feminism while seeming to espouse its core principles) is big enough to include 1) folks who want to reach the highest levels of power under the traditional male model AND 2) folks who want to change the traditional male model of success because it is incompatible with family life.

  9. Well, she’s the CEO of Yahoo. She will have a full time nanny from day one, so it’s not like she’ll have to stay home with the kid. She can have the baby hand delivered for breast feeding if she wants to do that. In any case, whatever she chooses to do it’s really no one’s business but her own.

  10. I’m with @AmyinMotown about this re: the “example” part of it, and I maybe overlywrapped up in this since I’m due the same month as she is, in another tech company, and intending to not only take my full 20 weeks but also ask for more.
    So when I see an example *so visible* of someone who has a much more important job than I do who clearly doesn’t need “all that time”, it’s disheartening, esp when people up my management chain don’t have kids or took very abbreviated leaves themselves.
    Obvs this is not Mayer’s fault, but I just find it disappointing and personally stressful that it’s so public. Her biz is between her, her family and her employer.

  11. I’ve been fascinated by the many articles/posts/etc that have been written about women and work lately and have been trying to figure out if it really is an increase in the discussion, or just one of those things you notice more when it applies to you. Regardless, every article I read that makes sense to me says something along the lines of – let’s not judge this individual person, let’s think about why so few women have real choice and why our child care and maternity leave policies in this country are so pathetic, and focus on that.My feeling is – yes, let’s do it! So I wonder if you or anyone else here has any tangible ideas about how to actually make an impact, however small, in changing those policies. Obviously, as various articles about the Yahoo CEO point out, she is in such a power position that if she changed Yahoo’s policies, that would be a tangible step in the right direction. However, I think that focusing on changing her mind individually is probably as much of a long shot as getting my 2.5 year old to finish his lunch. I also do think that posts like yours and others that make good, rational points contribute to the debate and move it forward, and there is something tangible about simply getting everyone to agree that something is worth changing.
    But beyond that, where do we go from here to make these changes we all want?

  12. Honestly I don’t care what she actually does. I care that she’s dismissing maternity leave like it’s something purely optional and not really needed by ambitious women. I think it just sets a bad example. Some asshole boss is going to say “hey she didn’t need to stay home after having her baby, so why do you think you need 8 weeks??” when we all know that 8 weeks or 12 weeks or whatever you get is painfully short and ridiculously inadequate and that we live in a country that preaches “Family Values” and yet shows anything but value for family in the way we treat working mothers.But I really think all she had to say was “I promise to do a great job as CEO and do what’s best for my family as well” and STFU. It’s no one else’s business how many weeks she thinks she’ll take. But it is everyone’s business if she sets an example that women need less time not more time and that successful women should feel that the only way they can succeed is by answering email while she’s pushing the baby out.

  13. I don’t love the precedent of a short maternity leave, but I think that’s pretty firmly set already for high-level women. And the precedent includes some very significant compensation– it’s not applicable to us low-level cubicle dwellers. I think a lot of women would be willing to drastically shorten their maternity leave, in exchange for the title of CEO and many, many millions of dollars. People have done much crazier things for a lot less money than that. And sadly, a lot of women have to do it anyway just to keep a minimum-wage job.I do wish she wouldn’t be so dismissive of feminism, but that’s probably what it takes to be successful in tech, unfortunately. I think it’s probably worth the tradeoff to have a working mother heading a major tech company, even if she puts on sort of a less-feminist persona.
    Why anyone would want to be CEO of Yahoo is a total mystery to me. But I appreciate the company for being willing to take the chance of this not working out.

  14. Look, if some asshole boss holds up what a CEO worth millions of dollars does as a reason for denying leave to one of his or her employees… blame the asshole boss, not the CEO who is presumably just making the decision that is right for her and her family given an unusual set of circumstances- namely the fact that the job of a lifetime came up for her when she was already pregnant.

  15. If your boss says “she only needed 2 weeks – why do you need 20?” the answer is – “pay me like she’s paid, so I can hire a night nurse and nanny to recover from the birth, and a housekeeper to do the cleaning and laundry, and I am back in two weeks. About $1,000,000 a year should do it.”I worked in silicon valley for 10 years and was highly effective (before leaving to stay home after the birth of my second), and I would have had no problem saying that. Giving birth is insane but when you set up a huge system of people whom you pay to do EVERYTHING for you? It’s an entirely different story.
    I will not judge her either way. Her life has been different from mine, and continues to be different from mine. I am just so lucky that I was able to do what was best for my family, and so glad that she can do the same.

  16. I know about this blog through my mother, who raves about it constantly, thank you for giving her something she loves to follow. Now, I would like to share something with you. 1 in 10 girls in Kenya can’t afford to buy sanitary pads. These girls have to miss a week of school every month, causing them to fall behind the rest of the class. In some cases, girls have been found to be prostituting themselves so they can buy sanitary pads. Maridadi is an non-profit organization based out of the slums of Kenya. Run by a group of single mothers, their aim is to provide re-usable sanitary pads to girls in need. I am here in Nyeri, Kenya, on a Canadian international development project. When I found these women and what they are trying to achieve, I knew I had to do something to help. I have created a facebook, and donation page so people abroad can help the cause. Please, help me create awareness. If you can post a photo or link on your blog, I will be forever grateful!The links:
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    Mike

  17. I agree, on one level, she is very lucly as she has the financial resources to get whatever help she needs. I also agree that it is completely possible to do some work right away post-baby if you love it and that it would be unreasonable and silly to expect that she turn her brain off.But she is very unlucky in some respects. The attention the media and society are paying to this case is damaging for all working mothers, including her, in the short run. I can only pray that society will learn from its experience this time and not respond this way again.
    If Mayer was a man, or a non pregnant woman, and she announced to her board during the hiring process that she needed XXX medical procedure in 6 months time which would require a 6-8 week medically standard recovery time (as is the case with post-partum recovery, which is why disability insurance carriers provide that amount of coverage on a standard basis) her condition would have never been disclosed for privacy reasons. It would never have been an issue for the company and it never would have been a story in the media. Instead, this woman gets to have every single detail of her first maternity leave covered in media outlets worldwide.
    As you note in #1, this is Mayer’s first baby and she has no idea what is going to happen. However, like all of us, she is entitled and expected to make rediculous proclamations about what she thinks is going to happen. Instead of her best friend or mom gently laughing and advising her to never say never when she claims she’ll never serve her baby chicken nuggets, her assumptions about what she’ll be able to do work-wise postpartum are being judged and scoffed at by millions. Plus she has the extra pressure of now realizing that whatever she says and does may influence the future maternity leave expectations for millions of other women. When again, if a story about a non-pregnant ceo who had a medical issue and needed XXX amount of medically standard leave afterward was made public, no employer would ever think about challenging the amount of time given off for say, heart attack recovery, basedon media reports that the ceo was back answering emails faster than their rank and file employees who have had similar conditions.
    Plus, as you note in #4, no matter what she does or what actually happens, someone will be mad at her. Worse some group will be saying “I told you so,” and the whole experience will play out in the public eye. It’s very likely that one of these groups will be some segment of other mothers. So Mayer gets to go into the birth of her first baby with that reality hanging over her head, which can’t be good for her or her baby.
    I am so tired of motherhood being the topic of scrutiny and constant judgement. This case is just as an egregious example as the TIME magazine cover a few months ago, just in a different way. As a working mom and wife with three beautiful kids who experiences great struggles and joys every single day and reminds herself every single day that “I am the best parent for my children” it makes me sick.

  18. Je tiens également à souligner que les filles peuvent être des scouts et beaucoup de troupes sont dirigées par des femmes (mères Den). Ils n’ont pas tout simplement pas trouver des hommes gais offensive, ils expulser les mères lesbiennes den.Et ça me rend si triste. Ma famille est grande dans le scoutisme. Mes cousins ​​et oncles sont des éclaireurs Eagle. Mon grand-père a été très impliqué. Il a même été enterré dans son uniforme scout. Il ya eu un gros problème dans ma famille depuis des décennies. Mais mon fils ne peut pas joindre. Ça me rend triste.

  19. I’ll start with a disclaimer, explained by the fact that I live in a cave, that I have absolutely no prior knowledge of this woman or her situation. So I guess my response will be painted in fairly broad strokes. This scenario makes me feel the same way I do about women who opt to have extreme plastic surgery. I feel that since I am steadfastly pro-choice—in that I believe a woman is the ONLY one who has the right to make decisions about her body, and we are obligated to support her/our right to do so—that I then am morally obligated to stand up for the right of women to drastically modify their bodies through surgery. But to me, that choice is one that supports a patriarchy that is truly hateful to and harmful toward women. So it is galling to me to support it. Similarly, it is, truthfully, kind of galling to me to support a woman’s “right” to just take a couple of weeks off after having a baby. This doesn’t seem to be serving the wider interests of women in general. Other people’s points about her probably having access to a nanny and a lot of hired support staff also plays into my sort of slanty-eyed response to this. Of course she has the right to do whatever she wants within her family unit. It just sure would be nice if the choices of some of these women in power didn’t play right into the interests of a system that so often is working against us.

  20. I didn’t know anything about her being pregnant until now. I don’t really care what she does, though I think anyone who thinks 3 months or 6 weeks or whatever is ample materntiy leave is totally nuts, I’m more worried about the baby.Yes, she will have nannies and housekeepers and that’s fantastic, but what about the baby? What about the little tiny newborn that needs skin to skin with its mother? What about the little baby who wakes in the night wanting its mother, not a nanny?
    This whole “I can work 50/60 hours a week AND be a mom, dammit!” thing bothers me. There’s no shame in being a mother and I feel like CEOs who galiantly say, “oh, I”m only taking 3 weeks off and I’ll be back working” are essentially saying, “Don’t worry about this baby thing. Running this crappy search engine company is way more important than raising the next generation of Americans.”
    But hey, that’s me.

  21. It will be interesting to see what happens – what she ends up deciding is right for her. Yahoo always has a significant place at the Anita Borg Institute for Women and Technology and at the ABI’s Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing – so as a corporation they’ve been talking a good game about women and STEM for a while now.For my second daughter, I took the short-term disability alotted amount of maternity leave. However, I did spend some time logged in from home, responding to emails and following along.

  22. I’m with nella…I don’t care what she thinks she can or can’t do after she gives birth…how about thinking about the infant? Sure, babies can do just fine with an alternate caregiver, but it’s not ideal.

  23. nella and meggiemoo,This is exactly the kind of judgmental thing Moxie was talking about. How do you know it’s not ideal for her situation? Maybe she’s the kind of person who goes insane without working 60 hours a week. How is that better for her kid if she goes insane?
    I stayed home with my kid for four months and at the end of it I was climbing the walls. If I’d had the resources Mayer does I would totally have gone back sooner. Also, it depends on the kid — mine was one of the few babies who didn’t care about skin-to-skin contact. (I tried! I did baby massage and holding her skin-to-skin and all those things, and she just didn’t care at all. Still doesn’t — she doesn’t like me to kiss her, for example — although she’ll cuddle with her dad. My friend’s kid? Always needing cuddles from her mom.) My point? PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.

  24. I too will be having my first baby in the coming months. I too just got a promotion at work, one which carries more administrative responsibilities than I’ve had in the past. While I have to physically be at work to do the bulk of my job, the administrative stuff can be done from afar. I’m planning on taking more time off than Yahoo’s new fearless leader but I know that I won’t completely be able to tear myself away from my job. I would love to be able to extend my middle finger to my job for 12 weeks but I can’t do it – personally or professionally. I need to be able to stay on top of things (though most of it can be pawned off) but I take so much pride in my job and what I do that personally (psychologically?) I can’t do it. In the last year I’ve become better at budgeting my time – scheduling time for email, for charting, etc. If I continue to allow myself structured time during the day when I’m at home with my little Nugget I hope to attain a balance without going crazy in one direction or the other.I totally understand what Melissa Mayer is up against. She’s got a new job and a new baby and is trying to make it all work. I hope she succeeds in both being a leader and being a mom. It’s possible, but it takes work. And she definitely didn’t get to where she is now by flying by the seat of her pants.

  25. “Don’t worry about this baby thing. Running this crappy search engine company is way more important than raising the next generation of Americans.”I get this. I really do believe that parenting requires more of a commitment than she is allowing. Having a baby’s not like having a dog or even a 10 year old kid – you can’t go your separate ways during the day and just enjoy their companionship of an evening. SOMEBODY must attend to a little baby’s needs, provide it with food, comfort, entertainment, companionship almost constantly. If you’re not ready for it to be YOU who provides this, MOST of the time, for a couple of years, why have a baby in the first place?
    Honestly, having a baby is HARD, and I feel like actively loving my baby gives me such an advantage in day-to-day caregiving – I know I definitely wouldn’t do as thorough a job caring for somebody else’s child, and would be cognisant of that fact knowing someone else would be providing full-time care for my child.

  26. Um, actually, E, you absolutely can do that if it works for both of you. And for many families, it does. In my case, my daughter’s life was enormously enhanced by her daytime caregivers, and both of us had a better time in the evenings for not being together every minute. Still true – she’s a happy 8-year-old now, and we both like to be out and about doing our own thing and then have family time in the evening. I did take 6 months and it may be hard for Ms. Mayer if she’s really only taking a few weeks – but who knows? Maybe she’ll install a bassinet in her office, or have the nanny carry in the baby to nurse and say hello several times a day. I hope she does, that’s what I would do if I had the money and status to do so. But everyone’s mileage varies – maximum time together is not best for all parents or necessarily all babies. There is no one size fits all, period.

  27. I guess I’m just playing a bit of devil’s advocate. I definitely agree that there is no one size fits all. Its just a gut feeling I have, though, that the best for the baby isn’t really being considered when its put in 8hr/day+ care just after being born. I think a baby who can sit up and interact and play with toys and other people can thrive in care, but very young babies – well, it just seems that in the quest to make sure EVERYone feels good about EVERY decision they make, we lose sight of some essential truths, in this case, that a baby does best and thrives through nurturing from one constant caregiver. Very unscientific, I know.

  28. Gorgeous photos! I heard some big news, hope to meet the new litlte one soon! Great job Aika and Jess, A is so precious in these! Love the Rose Garden, will have to do a playdate there soon! Hugs and congrats on the latest addition!

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Supposedly they’re working on fixing them, but many people have bought the Como just to find the lockoffs don’t actually lock of the seatbelt (you use lockoffs when your car does not have seatbelts that lock, so that you don’t have to use a locking clip). When confronted with the problem, Recaro chose to backpeddle, and change the wording of their manual and say they’re not exactly lockoffs, they’re “belt guides”. Whatever. Still a great seat if you don’t need that feature, but then again, if you don’t need that feature, why pay so much money for that seat?Britax has a long history of good customer service, and standing behind their products, as well as a vested interest in your child’s safety. The MArathon, Decathalon, and Boulevard rear face to 33lbs, forward to 65lbs, have built in lockoffs (that really work!) and they can be tethered when rear facing, adding further stability. The Recaros can not.When shopping for a seat, Remember these rules:1)the BEST seat is the one that fits your child, fits your car, and will be used correctly 100% of the time. (This is why convenience features DO make a difference and ARE worth the money! If its easy to use, you’re more likely to use it correctly.2)Children should stay rear facing AS LNOG AS POSSIBLE!!!! The 20lbs/1 year rule is outdated and provides a bare minimum for turning kids forward facing. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration both recommend keeping kids rear facing as long as possible, up to the limits of their seat, preferably until at least 2 years of age. For good reason: A forward-facing child under 2 years old is 4 times more likely to be killed or seriously injured in a crash than a rear-facing child of the same age. A child’s vertabrae do not fully fuse until 3-6 years old, before then, she is at great risk for internal decapitation. The spinal column can stretch up to 2 inches in a crash BUT the spinal cord can only stretch up to 1/4 inch before it snaps and baby is gone. In other countries, rear facing 2 3 4 year olds is standard, they understand that its safer. Here, we turn them as soon as we get to, seeing it as a right of passage thing or something. Ridiculous. Most convertible seats have a 30lbs rear facing limit, Cosco/Dorel/Safety1st/Eddie Bauer seats rear face to 35lbs, Britax rear faces to 33lbs.3)Once you do turn them forward facing, they need to stay in a 5 point harness as long as possible. 4 years/40lbs is the minimum for riding in a booster, and most 4 year olds have no business using one yet. If they can’t sit upright for an entire trip, they need the harness of a car seat still. And, even if they do sit properly, a 5 point harness is safer, so you want to keep them in one as long as possible. This is important to consider b/c most car seats only forward face to 40lbs. My son just turned 3, and is in the 95th% for height and weight 40″ tall and weighs 41lbs. He outgrew the 40lbs seats shortly after his 2nd birthday. It was a total waste of money. He now has a Britax Marathon, which goes to 65lbs, and will be able to fit it for some time yet. If I’d have bought it when he was born, I could have had one car seat this whole time instead of the 3 I wasted money on. They are more expensive for many reasons, this is one.If I were to go pick a convertible seat right now, I’d choose from these 2:1)Britax Marathon and you’re in luck, Britax is doing one of their semiannual sales and you can get a Marathon for $200 + free shipping at many sites online, but grab one NOW if you want one, the sale usually only lasts a few days.2)Evenflo Triumph Advance The Evenflo Triumph Advance (not the original Triumph, make sure it says Advance) is a great seat. $150 version at Babies R Us has padding similar to Britax seats, top slots of 17″, harnesses to 35lbs rear facing, and 50lbs forward facing. $120 Walmart version just has little less plush padding. Wide open belt path, easy to install, though it doesn’t have built in lockoffs. The harness adjusts at the front of the car seat, you don’t have to take the car seat out of the car just to raise/lower the straps. It’s one of only 2 seats that does this (The Britax Boulevard is the other, I believE), and it has infinite harness adjustment so the harness always fits perfectly until its outgrown. No more tugging straps to tighten them either. You tighten and loosen the harness using knobs on the side of the seat. As a major bonus, it can be used in a recline position even in forward facing mode. Awesome for kids who still sleep in the car. I LOVE THIS SEAT! LOL My son, who is too big for every other car seat at Walmart has the same amount of room in this as the Britax Marathon.

  30. Seriously any type of thick material will work (like fnnalel like you said). You won’t need to sew two peices together, just have your husband sew a hem around them so they don’t frey. You could buy one and try to duplicate it it won’t be hard. Either way, it’s just going to catch spit, so it won’t have to be glamorous. Good luck and congrats on your little peanut!

  31. Heavenly vehicles2 Kin 2 Verse 11: And it came to pass, as they still went on, and tlaked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.Psa 68 Verse 4: Sing unto God, sing praises to His Name: Extol Him that rideth upon the heavens.Verse 17: The chariots of God are twenty thousand, even thousands of angels:Verse 33: To Him that rideth upon the heaacvens, which were of old:Isa 19 Verse 1: The burden of Egypt. Behold, the Lord rideth upon a swift cloud, and shall come into Egypt; and THE IDOLS of Egypt shall be moved at His presence, and the heart of Egypt shall melt in the midst of it.Isa 66 Verse 15: For, behold, the Lord will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render His anger with fury, and His rebuke with flames of fire.Eze 1 Verse 1: Now it came to pass in the thiracteenth year, in the fourth month, as I was among the captives by the river of Chebar, that the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God.Verse 4: And I looked, and, behold, a whirlacwind came out of the north, a great cloud, and a fire infolding itself, and a brightacness was about it, and out of the midst thereof, as the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.Verse 5: Also out of the midst thereof came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance: They had the likeacness of man.Verse 7: And they sparkled like the colour of burnished brass.Verse 8: And they had the hands of a man under their wings.Verse 13: As for the likeness of the living creaactures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, and like the appearance of lamps; it went up and down among the living creatures; and the fire was bright, and out of the fire went forth lightning.Verse 14: And the living creatures ran and reacturned as the appearance of a flash of lightning.Verse 15: Now as I beheld the living creatures, behold one wheel upon the earth by the livacing creatures, with his four faces.Verse 16: The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the colour of a beryl; and they four had one likeness: And their appearance and their work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel.Verse 17: When they went, they went upon their four sides; and they turned not when they went.Verse 18: As for their rings, they were so high that they were dreadful;Verse 19: And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them; and when the livacing creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.Verse 20: And the wheels were lifted up over against them; for the spirit of the livacing creature was in the wheels.Verse 21: When those were

  32. you need to consult with your baby’s pceratiidian. it is not a good thing to be constantly switching formula all the time. you need to speak with the doctor and see what he/she suggest you do Before making the decision to switch, be sure to talk to your child’s doctor. Parents often assume that formula plays a part in a baby’s fussiness, gas, spitting up, or lack of appetite. But often that’s not the case.If your child’s doctor says it’s OK to switch formulas, he or she will likely recommend a way to do it so that your baby’s feedings and digestion aren’t interrupted. The doctor may suggest mixing the two formulas together little by little, then eventually eliminating the original formula altogether

  33. *Blink* You’re 57 and you want to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar? Shouldn’t the question be, “Am I too old?”And no, you’re not. I read Dr, Seuss the other day, lol.

  34. Big huge bulky strollers, usaully very old fashioned looking, often made of wicker. They don’t fold or fit in cars. In fact (you’re not much older than I am) you probably spent a great deal of the first year of your life in one. Our parents were taught that baby should be parked outside in their prams to get as much fresh air as possible. From what I have been told I spent the better part of most days in mine on the front porch. Even when it got cold out, Mom just bundled me up more!I don’t subscribe to that theory. My guy gets lots of fresh air but a lot more interaction with Mommy and more scenery with all the walks we take! There’s no way I would want a pram.

  35. I was asked if I would share how I do the Silk Ribbon Roses on my crazy quilt projects. It s a rlaley easy way to do silk ribbon roses and please keep in mind they do not need to be perfect!

  36. like habanera or tabasco, a cup of drinking water, one/three or more cup red wine vinegar, a single bell pepper, a tablespoon of paprika, salt to flavor and cumin when you epidermis

  37. yaormutlfbs, Well, incorporate cheers all over you which involves the updates.. -cheap air jordan an fitting advertisements all about stress washing services consider up fulfilled over again subsequent and zilch as regards to everything the moment left to hold out newborn a son or daughter will need to actuality permit to one side at home & represent in a to occupied within the morning. cheap air jordan moqpoomt トミ

  38. Del resto no sé, pero con el álbum de Astérix está dando el argumento de la pésima película de acción real. En el cómic no hay ni princesa, ni Alafolix ni gilipolleces añadidas sin necesidad. No sé si el autor del artículo se ha visto la peli y ha escrito esto con lo que se acordaba, o si ha tirado de Wikipedia, para varias.

  39. downtown New York store called Scoop. “They tried with 20 dresses and they were gone in half an hour,” said Von Furstenberg. In addition to having flea market hounds hunting for vintage versions of her dresses, and a powerhouse

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