The first few weeks: Wild animal or alien cyborg?

A friend of mine, who has a 2-week-old, thanked me for being honest about how much the first few weeks can suck. Crying, your not knowing what the baby wants, cluster-feeding, pulling off if the flow is too fast or too slow, etc. He said most people "candy-coat" the first few weeks/months, and he thinks it's because people don't want to admit that their child was like a wild animal.

I would much rather say to someone that I hated the early weeks because you have zero control and the baby is a constant vacuum of need, but gives you virtually no positive feedback. Seriously, when the fact that the kid poops and pees regularly is the best feedback you're getting, it's not the most blissful phase. But I'd rather be honest about that and then talk about how it does get better. Because it does. But also so your friend doesn't abandon all hope.

I never thought of either of my newborns as wild animals, but that's probably because I was thinking of them more as alien cyborgs with neverending appetites. Although I guess that's similar to a mongoose baby.

What do you think? a) Was your child like a wild animal? and b) Why do people candy-coat the early weeks/months? (I remember thinking I was going to punch the next person who told me to "enjoy this phase" because the baby was so snuggly and sleepy.) c) Do you tend to be more of a candy-coater or a yes-this-sucks-er?

114 thoughts on “The first few weeks: Wild animal or alien cyborg?”

  1. I currently have a 12 week old. He’s my third. I think the whole newborn phase was way worse with the first. This time around, I knew what to expect. Yeah, I felt bloated, sore, tired of wearing pads, and, of yeah, exhausted, but I also loved how tiny he was. I just reviewed the pictures I had taken when he was five days old and I sort of miss that tiny little baby. I prefer now because he smiles and I sleep and do on, but that phase wasn’t just awful.

  2. a. Mine is four and a half and I have no idea what the first two weeks were like anymore. I remember the first three days and then after that blackness until about four months.b. Some people really do have sweet, snuggly babies. My niece is one. There’s really nothing to sugar coat.
    c. My experience sucked so bad I almost just stay quiet. I won’t lie if someone asks but my kid has to be an outlier – our species wouldn’t have survived this long if all kids were so g-d awful as infants.

  3. Wild animal! But I have to admit two things about myself – I love newborns, and the newborn phase, with all its anxieties and horrors, and my favorite thing about newborns is how much like animals they are, and how much they remind me that we are, in fact, members of animalia. The worst bit of the newborn stage are the hormonal fluctuations combined with complete lack of sleep. But otherwise, I love the vacuum of need stage – it doesn’t last long, and I had a TON of support and company with #2, which made a huge difference. But even with #1 once the bf issues were stabilized, I loved being alone holding him all day, being able to focus just on him. It was exhausting and NOT some romantic-ideal picture. But I think most people sell the hearts and flowers version of this phase for the same reason they do all of motherhood – willful ignorance mixed with denial! And I do think it’s important to be honest with people about how difficult it can be, especially with a first child.The biggest (unpleasant) surprise for me with #1 was how much being postpartum sucked. I was in a LOT of pain, way more than I imagined.

  4. My first had what we called a shark attack latch-on. So I guess animal. But even then, and definitely with the 2nd and 3rd, I loved the newborn phase. I don’t candy coat at all when it comes to things I don’t like (pregnancy, one-year-olds, children who never sleep until they’re 4 or 5), but newborns are one of my favorite phases. Perhaps there’s just a problem with the people who like conflicting phase should be prevented from talking to each other at vulnerable times. πŸ˜‰

  5. I think people who talk about what a great time the first weeks are are forgetting about the postpartum period as a whole and thinking only about the baby.I love newborns, but yes, pretty much wild animals. Just nice snuggly wild animals. And even I could do without the exhortations to enjoy the time. Let’s talk about how the baby got out, shall we? No? Then hush up.

  6. With Baby girl the first, I would have said Animal. I still sometimes refer to her as a beastie, but then, just as soon as I stopped being in pain, breastfeeding started to work out- the colic hit. And I wanted a fork for stabbing into my own ears. I was totally in shock at how fiercely I loved her and how, even when she was screaming, I didn’t want her out of my sight. The second one was so. much. better. She was a different child, less fussy, not a marathon eater (seriously, first one ate for two hours, every two hours. Little ate for 15 minutes, pulled off and went to sleep) And I just generally knew that “this too shall pass” I healed more quickly and got rest and everything was so, so much easier. I knew what I was in for and had a trial by fire the first time so… What I love about the newborn stage : All that soft skin, those legs all curled up like a baby bird in an egg. Fuzzy monkey ears. When they sleep, it is for a good chunk. The relief on their face when mama gets the latch right and they get their nurses. What I don’t like- Taking care of a newborn while dealing with the previous insult to my nethers, learning to breastfeed while said nethers still hurt, lack of sleep, colic, colic, colic. How terrifying it is to get them dressed when they are so small.

  7. A matter of perspective, perhaps? My first was born 14 weeks prematurely and lived in the NICU for four months. So when his brother was born full-term, weighing 7.10 lb, and my teen sister lived with us all summer to help, and the babe was a breastfeeding champ and we were up and out of the house within a week of the c-section, I was blissfully happy and amazed. But I promise I never bragged, until now.

  8. A. My first definitely felt like a wild thing with no regular sleep pattern, and lots of demanding to eat. My second got into a routine a lot faster, which made the newborn stage infinitely better.B. I think people candy-coat because either they have forgotten (older people)or they don’t want to sound incompetent (people currently living with kids.) If you admit how hard that phase is, especially while you’re in it, you get lots of unhelpful, put-downy advice.
    C. I am a yes-this-sucks-er, which is how I know all about the condescending responses honesty brings out in otherwise decent people.

  9. a) neither, but probably closer to alien… they were in their own classification, I think!b) so many reasons. insecurity seems likely, but there’s also just the cultural, embedded message that childcare of infants is somehow special and elevating (and therefore we don’t have to do other things to elevate womens’ lives because they’re already super special for getting to care for babies!!) – kind of a worldview dump, really. It isn’t special though because women are tough and capable of doing a thankless job (that would mean valuing women differently), it is special because BABIES are special. Isn’t that special?
    c) seriously on the this sucks and there will be a few moments you want to keep but then it sucks again. I just had this conversation yesterday with a coworker, about how maternity leave should start at 6 months, when things finally start to get fun and interesting and the relationship can develop and all that. Not a big fan of infancy. I like them better as they continue to grow up, it gets more interesting all the time. Challenging still, but interesting!

  10. a) Was your child like a wild animal?If she was, then a pinkie or the blind, naked mole rat.
    b) Why do people candy-coat the early weeks/months?
    I think it is because they do not remember it clearly (like childbirth, the memories jaggedyness of the first few weeks fade with the hormones.) Also, because they might miss the snuggly baby noggins and would be willing to trade in the present challenges for ones that they now know how to work through.
    c) Do you tend to be more of a candy-coater or a yes-this-sucks-er?
    I like to think I have a balanced view – there are good parts (snuggly baby noggins) but also hard parts (stuck burps and sleep deprivation) I tend to think that once you have a baby that doesn’t need to be burped, things get a lot easier.

  11. a) We called him a monkey. A lot. He seemed just like one! @kimc yes so much regarding the getting him dressed! I just wrapped him in blankets a lot the first 2 months because he was so small and I was scared to put clothes on him :)b) I agree with anonymous, that most people tend to forget over time what it was really like to have a newborn, or even to have an infant/toddler. Just like childbirth. I can’t even tell you how many of my 40+ coworkers told me that they LOVED giving birth, it was so wonderful, “I didn’t have any pain, didn’t even know I was in labor!” etc. and I totally got the whole “enjoy this phase” thing on a pretty much daily basis once I returned to the office 3 months postpartum.
    c) Never been a candy-coater. If anything I’m too pessimistic and negative. But when my friend was pregnant I did the thing where I didn’t tell her stuff, I didn’t want to scare her or stress her out. I didn’t lie to her or anything but I didn’t go into crazy detail about how AWFUL much of the newborn phase was for me. I was so sleep deprived that I was crying one night while eating a sandwich in bed in the dark, like hysterically crying, my husband was worried about me so he took the baby downstairs, and told me that I needed to rest, no bones about it. I didn’t really sleep because I was like super anxious and wound (sleep deprivation will do that to you) but it was important for me to have that alone time since I’d had ZERO of it for 3 weeks straight. UGH.
    On a more positive note, though, once you really come out of it, and start feeling like yourself again, you can look back and be SUPER PROUD of yourself for making it through, and you can look at your kid(s) and be like “I did that, I’m awesome. I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR!!!”

  12. The first few weeks/months… that’s what repression is all about. Paint those days with a rosy brush and move on. I remember only enough to know that I would never go there again.

  13. Oh, I’m totally a yes-this-sucks-er. I really appreciated the fair warning I got from friends before I had child #1 (“It’s the hardest/best thing you’ll ever do.”) and before child #2 (“Double your pleasure, triple your pain.”)I tell it like it is — the good and the bad. Sugarcoating parenthood does no one any favors.

  14. The first two weeks were definitely hell the first time around, because I was exhausted, had no idea what I was doing, and was constantly second guessing. The second time though, I LOVED it. What more can you want than a baby that spends almost all their time sleeping and stops crying when you give them a boob? Way better than a whiny older kid. (I’ve always loved babies, though, and get a massive oxytocin high that makes up for sleep deprivation.)

  15. “I would much rather say to someone that I hated the early weeks because you have zero control and the baby is a constant vacuum of need, but gives you virtually no positive feedback.”It took me a long time to parse this sentence because I kept reading it as “someone that I hated” and I’d think, “Gee, that doesn’t seem like something M would say here…
    Anyway… I read Moxie before G’s birth, so I was expecting a bit of a rough ride. I didn’t hate it and can’t remember it well now. We had superflow for breastfeeding that took some getting used to. I hit the sleep deprivation wall at 4 mos (timed neatly with the first big regression). I just suffered quietly but mostly happily until then, when I Could. Not. Take. It. Any. More.

  16. I like Cathy’s comment – people wishing to trade their new challengers for ones they know how to work through. That’s a very kind and loving way to look at it! Thank you, Cathy, for giving me a new perspective on something that has always driven me crazy! I feel like going berserk when people say “just wait ’til they’re (x)” – and your comment helps me see it a new way! So thank you!

  17. I haven’t read the comments yet, but I actually really loved the first few weeks with both my boys. I try to be honest about how hard and challenging it is, but I did also honestly enjoy it immensely…so it’s possible! You have to strike that balance between not making it seem better or easier than it is, but also not to make it seem like it will be nonstop suckiness, either, because it might not.

  18. Early babyhood has been easier with #2 (5.5 months now). Of course, it helps that #1 was a fussy, higher-needs baby while #2 is a lot more laid back and pleasant. What sucked about the newborn period for #2 was having to simultaneously deal with the 3 year old!With #1, the newborn period sucked and, honestly, it continued to suck to varying degrees right through the first 2 years. Now that he’s 3 – even though 3 is by no means easy – I am really starting to enjoy him.
    I don’t go out of my way to tell people how much it sucked, but I’m 100% honest if asked. One reason I don’t go around advertising the suck is that some babies really are easier than others. I don’t want to tell a pregnant friend a bunch of horror stories, because there’s a chance that she’ll have a calm, colic-free, angel baby. You never know.

  19. I remember thinking that he was diabolical and doing it to me on purpose. I also remember thinking that I wouldn’t survive week number 5, but that it got dramatically better a couple weeks after that. So that’s what I always tell people; just hang in there for the first couple of months and then it will get so much better.

  20. The first few weeks are some of my favorites memories of my boys. One was terrible hard for the first two years and one was the easy, dream baby. I loved those first few weeks with both.

  21. I’m a tell-it-like-it-is person in all aspects of my life, including parenting. That said, I try not to scare expecting parents because they get enough of that from other people and need to hear that newborns are cute and snuggly too, not just sleep-stealing banshees.

  22. A little leech or maybe a slug – a darling, beloved little slug, but still – who wants to live with someone who’s incredibly demanding yet doesn’t DO anything? Worst kind of housemate imaginable.I had a decent time in the early weeks as these things go, and I was besotted with little Mouse, but I was bored out of my skull and lonely. Exhaustion doesn’t get me, but boredom. Bad scene. (Hm, who else do I know who’s like that? MOUSE, I’m lookin at you.)
    b. I don’t really candy-coat, but I tend to be more neutral than I was here because I know (ref. lots of entries in the thread) that many people feel differently than I do about the phase. maybe the person I’m talking to will love it, or be offended that I don’t. Seriously, I am with you on how a 7-month-old is the cutest thing on the face of the earth, but a newborn is at best a quiet bundle and at worst a shrieking-for-hours bundle. Whatever.
    c. so it depends. If I feel like I’m in a safe spot and won’t either be smacked by “oh you should love that phase, it passes so quickly”…to which I respond with a snarky “well thank goodness”…or won’t set someone up with nasty worries before their baby is born…then I’m honest about how much I hated it.

  23. I prefer to hear it like it is, but a lot of people get really angry when you do that – that you’re not supposed to frighten pregnant women about labor/newborns. But you know, I am so glad I knew going into it just how bad it could be – and that people came out sane, whole, happy and loving on the other side.OTOH, I was reminded recently (thanks KS!) about how wonderful newborns are – and they are. It’s the 24/7 part of them, when you are actually a human being who biologically kinda needs sleep sometimes, that makes it so awfully hard.

  24. Also, there’s the credibility thing. If I am honest about what a train wreck the newborn period (and toddler period) was for me, perhaps people will believe me when I say the teen years (for me) were a breeze and that your life is not necessarily doomed the minute your oldest turns 13. But if I sugar coat it and then someone has a baby like I had… they will probably think I lied through my teeth about the joys (yes, joys) of raising teen girls.

  25. 1 word: OxytocinI was genuinely happy, but I think it was because I was effectively high. Plus my son wasn’t colicky. Plus my mother and husband were there the whole time.
    Weeks 3-6 were actually much worse for me. I expected the first two weeks to be absolute craziness with no schedule and no sleep. When it didn’t really get better and real life started to rear its head back and my husband went back to work and my mother left, shit got real fast.

  26. I had a really blissful first birth (quick, easy, lots of lovely endorphins) followed by a really horrid maternity leave. Baby who didn’t sleep more than 20 minutes at a time, freezing cold weather, PPD for me AND DH. Oh, yeah, it was awful. I remember asking friends who already had kids, “WHY did you tell me this would be a good idea???”2nd birth was also good and 2nd maternity leave was much better. Spring baby who slept a bit and didn’t cry incessantly. It’s still not my favorite phase by any means.
    I stay mum about possible challenges for those about to have a baby, BUT I do tell them to please call me when they need support. I don’t want to pass negativity when some people do genuinely have a lovely baby phase.
    I just prefer 12 months+. Give me a 3-year-old and I’m in heaven. Seriously.

  27. For me, the first 10 days with both were relatively ok. Then they turned in to what we called “alien muppet babies” with mixed up days and nights and blank semi-cyborg stares as their brains started sorting themselves out. And happily, I had my kids so late, I had lots of friends who said Sleep-while-the-baby-sleeps-NO-REALLY-DO-IT and a husband who took paternity leave the first time around. The second was rougher (no paternity leave from a new job, and the toddler who wasn’t down with the 24 hour program) but at least I was prepared.

  28. The hours from 4 to midnight every day were “The Witching Hour” with baby #2. She screamed no matter what we did. I felt like a monkey in a zoo cage with thie screaming baby. My older son would stay out of the room because he was scared by her cries so I felt like a double failure as a parent. I remember asking my husband, no BRIBING him to go to the Starbucks and get me coffee and a bran muffin b/c I was seriously constipated and it hurt to poop (the joys of the fresh after childbirth body). Baby girl was diagnosed with the familiar milk protein intolerance pretty quickly and the witching hours cleared up at about 6 weeks when we put the pieces together. I kind of blame those weeks for a delayed bonding with her. Just felt like ducking my head down and weatheirng the storm. If she had been my first child, i think I would have lost my mind but I *knew* it would get better. This mom should know it will too.

  29. I had a relatively easy baby so while it was sort of boring, it wasn’t that bad. I felt like it was just a constant repetition of nurse, diaper change, sleep. The sleep deprivation was the worst part for me.But there are certain people I wouldn’t say anything negative to, because it would just unleash a flood of unwanted advice. So it’s easier to just say things are fine and move on. I hate unsolicited advice.

  30. I have a 10 month old and we still occ. refer to her as “the wildlife,” as in “Don’t engage the wildlife!” (i.e., don’t make eye contact as she’s trying to drift off to sleep playing with her stuffed animal b/c that will just rile her up.)That being said, I tend to be more of a candy-coater. It’s not that I’m intentionally trying to mislead someone, it’s just that those are the things that I remember about early stages – the cozy cuddling, the watching her with amazement – not the OMG why is she still crying?! stuff.
    And yet, even as I recognize that tendency in myself, I get frustrated and impatient with the parents who candy-coat & tell me their baby sleeps through the night. Baloney! (Either they’re lying or they turn off the baby monitor & have no clue what baby’s up to at 4 a.m….) So even though I can’t seem to regulate my own candy-coating, when I am on the receiving end of candy-coating, I try my best to just dismiss it as parent PR.

  31. Beth, my second born really did sleep through the night, almost from the start and pretty much without fail. It does happen. Note, my firstborn did nothing of the sort….. bwaaahaaahaa

  32. I did not think early infancy was a big deal. Cosleeping has meant I do not worry about “sleeping through the night.” Learning to breastfeed was hard work–6 weeks of learning with the first kid, 3 weeks with the second. I did have 6-month maternity leaves and a self-employed partner who provided household work.Much harder: having a child who needs little sleep and likes to be intellectually engaged until after 10pm each night. Also harder: negotiations with hard-headed 3-, 4-, 5-year old child. Likewise: helping 3-yo child handle the onslaught of consumer pressure, often made worse by peer pressure.

  33. A. I’m not sure, it just sucked for many reasons.B. Either they’ve forgotten, or they had loads of help & it wasn’t hard, or they had easy children. I had a few people who were honest about how hard it is, but not enough, and a lot of people around me had family helping them and we were scared, exhausted & flying solo.
    C. I feel like I’m the prophet of doom in my honesty about how hard the newborn phase was for me, but one friend did thank me although she admitted she didn’t believe me before her kid arrived.

  34. My daughter was born small (4 lbs 14 oz at 38 weeks), and couldn’t latch on to my overly-generous breasts. So I was trying to pump 8 times a day. And my daughter only ate small amounts at a time and was on a 90 minute eat-sleep-wake cycle. I completely collapsed after the 3rd day at home and called my sister to come spend the night – she stayed up all night with the baby while my husband and I slept. After that, my husband and I spent about 3 weeks in a 6-hour shift mode (one of us was up with the baby for 6 hours while the other slept, then we traded off). (Thank heavens he is self-employed and had planned for a no-work quiet period after the birth). It felt like we spent forever in that mode, but by 4 weeks she was in a much more reasonable cycle. (Although I was still pumping every 4 hours).

  35. I’m totally a yes this sucks-er. I feel like all the preparation I did DID NOT prepare me for those early weeks, mostly because it wasn’t the baby that felt like a wild animal, but me.I was not prepared to face nature so brutally.

  36. a) Wild animal for sure. Not in the clawing-you-to-pieces sense (though that was there too) but just in that I was so unprepared for the pure animality of a newborn–the rooting and lunging, the grunting and snuffling, the sheer physicality.b) Agree with all the opinions above (people don’t want to frighten newbies, some people genuinely do enjoy newborns, etc) but also i think there are still some people out there who don’t realize they’re the only ones who had such a tough time and are afraid to admit it. I can’t tell you how many times, now that I’m pregnant with #2, I’ve said to another parent on the playground how I’m not looking forward to the newborn phase again because of how horrible it was, only to see them look startled at first, then relax in relief and admit that it was terrible for them too.
    c) As you might guess from my answer to (b), I’m in the IT SUCKED SO BAD camp.

  37. a) both were more like aliens. My first was more like an alien to me, partly because I was a newbie, partly because he and I had some recovery issues, and partly because he seemed to come too early, and not quite ready for the word. b) I think people candy-coat it because it’s the beginning of *so* much good. c) I think I’m more of a realist, so I’m with the yes, this sucks crowd. I have to admit though, with my youngest, I can see why people get all starry-eyed about newborns. She was a much different newborn than my oldest and I was different. In terms of relative experience, having a newborn the second time around was all rainbows and puppies and chocolate.I think it’s important to tell the story of your child’s newborn days in the right context. To those in the midst of it, being sympathetic is more important than how I currently feel about it.

  38. I really hope new parents find this post – I think it would be comforting for them.My experience: a) Wild animal? Not quite, just a colicky infant. She needed to be held and soothed almost around the clock, so basic life functions like eating, sleeping, and using the restroom were very difficult for us. There was nothing we could count on.
    b)There is a school of thought that the candy coating of parenthood is an elaborate social dance to promote reproduction. Maybe there is some truth there. But, I think people candy coat because they might be in denial themselves, or don’t want to scare you, or perhaps they had an ok time of it.
    C)I am a yes-this-sucks-person.I never sugar coat about the experience we had, but I think it is too important to lie about. For some people, with some experiences, they get broken apart and then have to rebuild themselves. I have a lovely toddler who I am deeply grateful for, but there was nothing lovely about those first few months.

  39. My now two year old son was the KING of the jungle wild!!! Those first few weeks I changed, I transformed into a completely different wild animal myself.I am honestly terrified of having another wild animal, and this is gonna happen in early August. Is it possible to have given birth to two wild animals??
    All the folks who told me to enjoy myself made me feel like something was very, very wrong with my maternal instincts. My parents, of all stoical, “quit yer whining!”, no sympathy people, were the only ones who told me that those days with my brother were hell and birth control at once. Then they had me and I was the “good” baby.
    I won’t tell anyone that the newborn days sucked. But, if a new mom gives me that glint in her eyes of “what have I done?” I will tell her, “this too will pass! So much that you’ll delude yourself into having another!”
    Also, I truly truly believe Jack’s wild animalness has turned into the kind of spirited, bright, and loving creature he is today!

  40. I was lucky, my baby was neither a wild animal nor an alien cyborg — until she turned 3, at which point hydra-headed angry beast would be a good description. The first few days learning how to breast feed were hard, but it is hard to remember those moments now, because they really didn’t last very long. For whatever reason, my baby’s style and mine clicked for infancy. Later, not so much.I think people sugar coat out of insecurity — they hear from people like me who had a relatively easy time in infancy and don’t want to be found inadequate. And maybe they’re trying to be encouraging, in that totally discouraging, non-helpful way that humans often have.
    I don’t think I am a sugar-coater. I’m perfectly capable of talking long and loud about how awful three years old was and how stressful and frustrating things can still be at 8. But people might think I’m sugar coating the early weeks and months because they were genuinely lovely for me.

  41. then there are those of us who really experienced it that way. Grade school is the hard part for me, and it lasts WAAAAY longer. I don’t tell other people that they’ll love the newborn time (because I know it is obnoxious to speak for someone else’s experience), but for me, the first six weeks of my first daughter’s life was by a huge margin, the very best 6 weeks of my life.

  42. My baby is 5 1/2 months old and still waking every 90 minute – 2 hours all night long, so the sleep thing has gotten harder for me than it was at first because of the accumulation of so many hard nights! And he’s mobile already – rolling and dragging himself around like a wounded inchworm – so that’s a new and wonderful – but tiring – challenge. We’ve had some disruptions with his childcare situation since I went back to work full time- and the first three months I was home, so at least I could nap when I needed to back then. All of that, combined with a feeling of failure around his sleep, has me missing those first few weeks right now. At least then the night wakings were to be expected? I did have very, very low expectations for the first six weeks, however, and instead had tons of luck with breastfeeding and an easy recovery from his birth. And! my husband was able to be home with me full time for the first month, so I wasn’t isolated. I really did think he’d be sleeping better by now…it’s hard when life doesn’t match one’s expectations!

  43. For me the early weeks were hard because I didn’t realize how long recovery would take. I had read that pregnancy systems would go away, but no one told me they’d be replaced with all these horrible, new ones. The baby part was easy because I had a ton of help. Four months was hard because I expected too much from the baby. Friends with colicky babies made four months seem like heaven. Well, mine was t colicky so there wasn’t a magical change to an easy baby. He’s high need, but wasn’t colicky. I’m honest about this, but emphasize variation because I didn’t understand that when I was getting information.

  44. My first was a wild animal for the first 3.5 wks. I cried and cried and then we came to an agreement and things were better, but still wild for a bit. It got better and she became a great baby. Easy going and slept well.My second was an angel from day one. Never an issue.

  45. My son is almost 12 weeks old. The first 6-8 weeks were incredibly hard. There were moments of happy snuggly times, but he is plenty snuggly now and does much less screaming at me. In general the last month of pregnancy and the first two months of newborn time are hellish and exhausting.

  46. I’m not going to answer the actual questions you posed (I so often find myself wandering off on tangents in blog comments, so why stop now?), but I will say one of the things I found most helpful about the Happiest Baby on the Block wasn’t its specific tips but the point it made about how, really, it would be better (except that neither mother nor infant would survive) were human gestation 12 months rather than 9. Figuring he mostly still needed to be inside me but that logistical issues had caused other arrangements helped me figure I could just get through 3 months and it would get better.Which it did. And for the record, mine was a pretty easy baby and is a pretty easy kid. So that’s not about how difficult mine was so much as it’s about me. But honestly, it’s just gotten better and better because now I have a small human being who can actually participate in some stuff. Though truthfully until he can at least contemplate, for example, the constitutional arguments pro and con the health care individual mandate, he’s not really “there” for me yet. Newborn stage? Not so much. Though there are aspects of his being self-propelled (Now riding a bicycle! Fast!) that daunt me.
    I’ve covered ages 0-5 with mine, and 13-32 with my stepkids. My quips about comprehending arguments about the Constitution notwithstanding, let’s just say I’m not entirely looking forward to the teen years, either (hello: self propelled! Though at least we do now have graduated licensing. But also: texting. Ack!).

  47. My little girl is now 12 months. I don’t remember much of the first few months and in some ways I think I had it easy. She wasn’t too much of a screamer (there were a couple witching hours each night) and my husband was home with me, so that made things easier. And I had been forewarned by a close friend that those early months can be super hard, so I was surprised by how great it could be at the same time.BUT – the first month of failed breast-feeding and pumping around the clock trying to get more than literally a drop of milk… That sucked. Never got it working and once I finally just went with formula, everything was just better.
    Also, I really didn’t get that I’d be in pain for a couple of weeks after delivery. Maybe I was just completely uninformed, but I only expected a day or so of soreness. I was pretty miserable for a while.
    I’ve tried not to sugar coat it since, but again – it is all a blur. And I have very fond memories from the same period – the snuggles were very nice. She has no time for snuggles anymore – she’s gotta move!

  48. All I really remember about the first 4-6 weeks was that DS was essentially an eating sleeping (sweet)lump (oh, how times have changed…for the eating & sleeping part). I was paranoid about him not breathing (newborn breathing is so shallow!). I felt like a dairy cow. So. Much. Relentless. Breast feeding. I actually felt really overwhelmed by that at the end of week one. In retrospect, probably a lot of hormones going on. BUT, he slept all the time. Which I now appreciate immensely since it all basically went out the window from 4 mos – 2.5 years. We camped to in front of the TV with DS in the cradle and watched the entire series of Six Feet Under. I was exhausted, but really at that age DS was fine. I was just trying to deal with all of the emotions around becoming a parent.I’m neither a sugar coater or a this sucks-er. I’m a realist, so I tend to speak both about the good & not so good. But mostly I let the other person talk and then give them what they want (harsh reality or sugar coating, or somewhere in between). I find that especially for 1st time parents it’s so hard to describe being a parent that I think it’s just something they have to experience for themselves.

  49. Honestly, I think people sugar-coat the whole freaking gamut of parenthood, from newborn right up until the teenage years, when suddenly you’re allowed to admit that a lot of this sucks.Quite obviously I’m an it-sucks-er: if things really are so great for you, it doesn’t help anyone else to know that (and rubbing their nose in your good fortune might actually hurt), but if things aren’t great, it can help immeasurably to let someone else who’s struggling know that they’re not alone.
    For the record, the newborn stage was hard for me because I was so freaked out and postpartum-y; my son wasn’t one of those angel babies, but neither was he impossibly difficult. Unlike age 6 1/2, sigh.

  50. I am a freak. Babies did not bother me. They were cute. Snuggly. Nursed. Slept in the middle of the bed. Spent too much time listening to others say kids in bed bad. At 6 and 8 it was fine. Extended breastfeeding was ok too.Toddlers. Ugh
    Second grade with special needs even more ugh. I would take the early days. I had sleeping, happy, cute, babies. They had regressions but did great after a little while.

  51. I like wild animal, but I usually felt they were more like farm animals. Hmm.My first was so hard, I can never candy coat it for anyone else. But if I had had my third first…I probably would have been really annoying. She slept well and her little noises were easy to figure out. And not just to me and my mom, but we had a guest who could “read” her within 2 hours. Crazy.
    So the people who love the newborn stage, I wonder if they have never had a baby who cried all the time and couldn’t figure it out? Or they’ve blocked it all out.

  52. The first weeks/months are hard but I also remember being so blissfully in love with my newborn. It’s hard to explain the combination of strong emotions of love, joy, frustration, despair, and everything else often combined with physical pain. I don’t think people candy-coat it, but there is something to be said that you do forget the pain and remember the joy.

  53. I think some people honestly forget what it’s like (otherwise nobody would ever have another child!) So some people probably don’t MEAN to sugar coat it, it’s just the only part their brain held onto!

  54. I tend to remember the time with fondness. The first week was hard (that’s after we got home from the hospital) for reasons OTHER than trying to figure out what a new baby needs – we had to take him up to the hospital to get his blood levels checked, and I nearly had a nervous breakdown taking him through the ER entrance. At one point we thought we’d have to take him back to the state hospital, three hours away and it was very upsetting. BUT my mother stayed with me that whole first week and was wonderful. She did all the household stuff so I could just focus on the baby, and made amazing dinners and was just generally her awesome mama self. Later on you realize that they’re only that small and tiny ONCE and you do miss it, in a way, like now I miss the before-1-year-old days. Still, I don’t think I’m a candy-coater. I really sympathize about post-partum ups and downs and figuring out breast-feeding. Once I embraced co-sleeping (with my wee tiny infant in my arms) I got a whole lot more sleep, which helped.

  55. one of the best things my older sister did for me in the first month (and she did a lot of amazing, wonderful things) was give me the book “inconsolable.” she told me to read it if i could – that it would make me feel better because it puts words to feelings you’re not “supposed” to have about babies and besides which, i’d feel relieved that my baby wasn’t as challenging as the author’s. she was right. info here:http://www.amazon.com/Inconsolable-Threw-Mental-Health-Diapers/dp/1580051405/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334452532&sr=8-1
    and one of my favorite stories the author tells is of asking new moms, “no, really, how ARE you?” what a good approach – no need to sugar-coat or yes-this-sucks – listen and go from there.

  56. I LOVED the first weeks/months/year with my first. He was a dream come true and total bliss. Yeah, he peed, pooped, ate, (he did sleep pretty well) but I loved being a mom and motherhood was awesome and we took him everywhere and my life was a dream come true.Then the twins arrived. My life sucked ass worse than I ever thought possible. They’re 2.5 now and I don’t remember the first 2 years. Heck, I don’t remember last week. Or what I ate for breakfast today. When they arrived the oldest was 2.5 and he turned into an alienmonsteranimal. All in one.
    When I give (unsolicited, usually, because I suck that way) advice to people with one kid I do tell them to enjoy it now–and I do really mean it–because one is so much easier than two. With the 2nd/3rd, I missed those sweet moments of just quietly staring at my baby and drinking in his beautiful little fingers and delicious baby smell. I missed laying curled up with him on the sofa, not having to worry about anything else at that moment. I missed being able to give him my attention when he needed it.
    I like to think I’m an equal candy-coater and a yes-this-sucks-er. I’m still working on using the approach that will make the inquiring mom panic the least though.

  57. My bub was incredibly high needs with attachment dramas & colic, she never slept fed every two hours, id had a c section & was single with no support after day 6 then she started rolling & crawling at 3mths…it was both hell & the most wonderful experience of my life & that’s why its hard because i don’t sugarcoat so much as try to explain that as bad as it is it does change & is so so worth it!!

  58. I expected the first four or five weeks to be tough so dealt with that pretty well – what I hadn’t realised is that it would go on for months rather than weeks. I think it was at about the four month mark that it was worst, because everybody tells you that babies get easier after the first three months and ours didn’t. Didn’t even notice the four month sleep regression as there wasn’t anything to regress from…

  59. I live in a culture where it is frowned upon to even think that child rearing is difficult, let alone admit it. So yes, I am the crazy one telling everyone about boot camp mentality and lack of sleep as an efficient torture method.That being said though, and it might just be the all-healing time passing, I seem to start to remember more of the good than the bad. I think people should be told what to expect, but also try to incorporate in their mentality the Kairos moments Mrs. Melton so poignantly wrote about:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
    And yes, it does get easier. In some respects πŸ˜‰

  60. I felt like *I* was the alien in those early weeks. Granted, I had twins, but I tend to be direct when other moms-to-be ask what it’s going to be like. I tell them I felt like I had been transported to the moon, because I had no idea what I was doing or how to do it. I couldn’t sleep enough to feel like myself and felt like I had no connection to my former self (or even my former life) for about 2-3 months. And then, miraculously, things seemed to get easier and I got more confidence and we found our rhythm.So, I don’t try to downplay the difficulty of those early weeks. I wish someone had told me how tough it could be — then I might have not felt quite so lost for those few weeks.

  61. I actually used to call mine a wild animal. People would ask me how she was and I would say she was a little wild animal, and this was before 8 weeks of colic and 2 weeks of cluster feeding at least every hour…arghh.I haven’t blocked out the first few months of hell, well, maybe some of it. But I definitely blocked out how awful the last of my pregnancy was. I was in labor off and on for 3 weeks before having my daughter 3.5 weeks early, on bedrest during that time and my father was dying. I remember that it was awful and I was uncomfortable but I can’t remember any of the specifics–which is just so great! I’m hoping to forget all the times after she was born that I told my friends and husband that I had made a terrible mistake and couldn’t actually do this.
    So I am working on becoming a better sugar coater, at least to my own memory.

  62. WILD. ANIMAL. I did not immediately bond with my son, which shocked the hell out of me. Yes, I had heard that happens, but I smugly thought that only happens to “bad” mothers and certainly wouldn’t happen to ME. My bug and I are now as close as it is possible for a mom and her boy to be, so obviously everything worked out. But clearly I had to take some time to get to know him. I loved him immediately, but it was that obligatory kind of love you have for grandparents you don’t see very often.The boy was a brutally hard infant–he had reflux and he didn’t want to sleep and he wanted to be held literally all the time and he wanted to be walked around the house for hours at a time. He refused bottles, pacifiers, exersaucers, bouncers, and anything else designed to make my life easier (except the Moby, THANK GOD). Part of the hard time I had was likely undiagnosed PPD (or probably just D, honestly), but I’ve looked at other people’s infants, and they are not like the wee bug. He was INTENSE from the very start. It has just been in the last year that I’ve been able to contemplate maybe having another. He took 100% of my attention and endurance.
    I NEVER sugar-coat. I don’t offer details, but when friends have their first I tell them “Hey, I hope you have a great time. But if you are having trouble, you can talk to me. I had a really really hard time, and i promise you there is literally nothing you can say to me about how hard this is that will shock me. It’s okay to not enjoy the first month. It gets a million times better.”

  63. Also, I was deeply screwed up by reading a baby book (I think it was Terry Brazelton’s TOUCHSTONES although I could be wrong) where the author talked about how WONDERFUL four months was and how the mothers in his practice would just stare at their babies during naps waiting for them to wake up because they were just! so! delightful!

  64. @wealhtheow, I think you and I somehow had twins whom were separated at birth? You described my DS to a tee.If you do decide to have another (I did), you may just have one who is a totally different infant. My DD wasn’t like my son at all (except she also wasn’t the best sleeper). They still have markedly different personalities. That can be a real blessing.

  65. @wealhtheow – Yeah, about the not sugar-coating to friends. I sat down with a pregnant friend, and said listen, transitioning to parenthood was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. It took me like a year to stop being resentful. I was lonely and unhappy and stressed out. If you need me, I will get on a plane and come out and help you.I remember one time sitting with a group of women I didn’t know who were all talking about how excruciatingly difficult and lonely it was to have a newborn. They all knew I had a newborn. I almost started crying and shouting: THEN WHY DONT YOU HELP ME?!?

  66. I’m like wushie and Jo-Ann. I enjoyed having a newborn, a lot. It’s not that I am some perfect parent, I’ve had many many trying times with toddlers and now even older, but I loved being a new (or new again) mom. Honestly it makes me sad to see how many people hate the newborn stage. But maybe they’d be sad to see me driven so crazy sometimes by my older ones, who are old enough to remember it if I’m short with them. I dunno–I had no guilt about taking time for just me and my baby in those first few weeks, I didn’t have to worry about work, it was my only job to take care of the both of us. With older children, all the external stress of the outside world makes it a lot harder to keep my balance.Co-sleeping and nursing on my side while asleep helped hugely, as well, and maybe Moxie did me a favor. I did read this side a lot and expected new parenthood to be awful. Maybe if I had expected it to be sunshine and roses I would have taken a different perspective! At any rate, I am glad at the same time that you’re out there telling people it’s OK if it sucks. That’s a good thing to hear at any stage of parenthood, because I think most of us find it pretty challenging at one time or another!

  67. Wild animal. @erin: it also took me a year to stop being resentful, lonely, unhappy and stressed out. I was totally unprepared and felt incompetent in every way. I didn’t have the confidence to enjoy being a mother, especially with a non-sleeping, screamer.The 2nd time around, the fact that I was living in a world of (literally) shit and vomit was somehow o.k. But, I didn’t have to ‘transition’ to sharing so much of myself in so many ways so much of the time, as I did with #1
    I try hard to let new moms I meet know that it’s o.k. if they’re feeling overwhelmed and just barely making it. Until I found this site (and met the moms I’m friends with), I didn’t know the candy-coated descriptions I’d read of new motherhood were by people who suffer from collective amnesia. The newborn period goes so fast it is awesome to witness from ‘outside’.

  68. @ Abby – I hear you.Part of the reason I posted the earlier comment is because I feel like some of the newborn misery is unnecessary. That is, if we lived in a more supportive society, the transition to parenthood would be easier, and we would be less isolated, miserable, alone. I know what a huge difference it made for me with #2 to be surrounded by family the whole first four months. I was still sleep deprived and exhausted and leaking milk and wrung out, but I enjoyed it a LOT more.
    @L. – I love newborns too. Sometimes I think I want to have a #3 just to experience those amazing first weeks all over again, when you can just spend all day holding them and gazing into their eyes – such a dreamy time. For me, it’s not an either/or. I loved it AND I struggled (esp w/ #1). For some it’s one or the other, but for me it’s both.

  69. I have 16 months old and I really dont remember first couple months except couple moments here and there. It is one big foggy memory, I guess that because all the sleep deprivation and exhaustion!Good thing is those couple memories I have are very good ones. The ones when u look down at your child and you feel this overwhelming love and all you can do is cry….yeah I cried a lot!

  70. Since my first was actually pretty easy the first few weeks (and beyond), I guess I would be a candy-coater. Once my milk came in and we really got the hang of nursing (week two or so) it really wasn’t all that bad. She ate, she slept, she pooped, and she was easily portable anywhere I wanted to go in a sling.However, my second is due very soon and I could very well end up with a wild animal this time.

  71. My babies were both pretty decent-no colic, didn’t sob for hours, etc. What was different was me. I had some major pregnancy anxiety with DD#1, along with a torn up house, beginning staying at home, failing at breastfeeding, a gallbladder removal, and a dog who did not appreciate not being the baby anymore. Oh, and while I would have died to protect her, I didn’t really feel bonded well to either of them until about 3 months. Plus my mother telling me how to mother….DD#2 was much easier, but I think the true differences were the circumstances and my experience. I had done it all before, didn’t sweat the bottle-feeding, mom and I worked it out, no more dog….lots of things resolved for me.As for candy or sucking, I will be totally honest if asked. I will be silent otherwise. The first three months are my least favorite, but admittedly I remember thinking “remember how her head feels in your hand” or “remember how her head smells” because, while completely annoying, the reminders to enjoy these days have some merit. I didn’t enjoy many whole days, but I have some moments I’ll take to the grave.

  72. We called our son (now 7.5 months) the Exorcist Piglet because he would turn red, vibrate and scream, as my husband described it, “like his snout was being sawed off.” He cried so ferociously and so often that I had to wear earplugs around the house just to dull the noise enough to not go crazy. Random people came up to me in the street and asked “is he okay?” And one said she had “never heard a baby scream like that in her life.” Around the 4th month, he gradually got a little less screechy. Now he’s intense and opinionated, but more mellow. In those early months, it SUCKED. Were there adorable, priceless moments? Yes. Did we love him the whole time? Yes. But in general, it SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED. I will never, ever, even if I’m 90, tell anyone that it was easy/delightful/”enjoy it while you can” etc. BUT I know people who have newborns who sleep all the time and never cry. So they do exist. I wouldn’t trade mine for the world, but that “fourth trimester” was brutal.

  73. I *still* want to smack people who tell me how tiring it must be now that my girl is 17 months because now I can’t just take her to a restaurant in her carseat and have her sleep. My girl NEVER slept anywhere that wasn’t me physically holding her (not even in a Moby) for the first 2 1/2 MONTHS, and even after that stopped she never sat still, got frustrated easily, and didn’t really care if I was around unless she wanted to eat then god forbid it took me more than 5 seconds to whip it out…I told a friend at 3 months that if I knew what I did at that point I never would have had a kid!Fast forward. As soon as she learned to walk she became a whole other kid. She started walking at 9 1/2 months. Now she’s a talkative, eerily comprehending 17 month old that sits every morning in the rocking chair after nursing to go find the balloons in every single book on her shelf. It’s awesome. She’s awesome. But I’ll never forget the hell that was the first months…maybe that’s why I want my husband to get snipped πŸ™‚

  74. A-no one told us how difficult it would be, especially not any of the 5-6 books we read over and over during pregnancy. I lost 50lbs in 3 weeks pp because of the stress and panic. i’m not kidding. i couldn’t eat i was so terrified constantly. we are at 17 wks and it’s not terrifying anymore but it is still very difficult alot of the time. On FB people see the beautiful picture i put up and say oh, enjoy this time, it goes by so fast.. yeah, right- not fast enough! i will not sugar coat for pregnant/ttc friends and family. why should people be “lied” to? it only leads to worse fear, anxiety,terror and feelings of extreme inadequacy.

  75. Long time reader, first time poster here.I have/had PPD for the last 18 months, only diagnosed by me once my daughter was sleeping through and I could no longer blame how I was feeling on sleep deprivation (although I did have crippling insomnia too). Now the PPD is under control with meds I can look back on the last year and a half and see clearly what an wreck I was – physically, emotionally, and mentally. What little sanity I did have I attribute entirely to Moxie and the Wonder Weeks (God bless you Moxie).
    So I would put myself firmly in the “this sucks” camp. Not that there weren’t many beautiful moments with my baby snuggled in my arms, but truly, it sucked for so very very long. Although to be fair the first few weeks were lovely for me. It was only once the adrenalin had worn off and sleep deprivation kicked in that things took a turn for the worse. And then when I realised I had entirely lost my sense of self things really went pear shaped.
    That said I wouldn’t volunteer that information unless specifically asked. I hate unsolicited advice, however well meant. But then neither would I candy coat either. I suppose I would just say nothing. Anyway at the moment I’m too busy dodging the “when are you having number 2” questions to give any advice of my own!
    I think people candy coat because of the social pressure to be in raptures all. the. freaking. time. Like as if you aren’t , you’re a failure both as a parent and as a woman.
    Thank you everyone once again for such an enlightening, supportive discussion of a tricky subject. And thank you Moxie, more than you’ll ever know. xxxxx

  76. I think this makes me strange, but it hadn’t occurred to me that a newborn could be anything *but* a wild animal. Any civilizing surely must happen after they come out of the womb.I think there’s a way that the early days are especially animalistic, and Americans in general don’t leave a lot of room for that.
    And then my baby got colic.
    If I sugar-coat the early days at all, it’s because, four years later, I’ve forgotten them and mostly the joys remain. But from the inception of colic onwards, I can tell you it was incredibly grueling.

  77. Another thought: in the first couple of weeks, I was overjoyed not to be pregnant and feeling like crap warmed over any longer. I think expecting that I’d be living with an animal-human helped. I’m not sure anyone could have prepared me for colic though.

  78. 1) we called her the velociraptor for how quickly (read: violently) she latched on. and for her cries, tiny and piercing.2) i thought for many months that all babes were like d. so much crying. so much rocking/bouncing/wearing/moving to try and stop the crying. rough start with bf, scary, rough delivery that took a long time to heal, co-sleeping did not work. i was so exhausted, anxious, on-edge all the time.
    i remember a friend coming to visit when d was maybe 4 or 5 months old and pulling me aside an saying she was worried that my stress level was affecting my daughter. that was a low point. was she right?
    Then I watched as three friends had babies the next summer. they all quickly recovered from their births and cooed over their babes who slept everywhere, had tiny cries, and mellow personalities. i realized it wasn’t me.
    So for 2) I would say that babies really are different. some people get mellow babies (and, like my friend, probably think all babies are like that) some get rougher ones. I would not trade my daughter for anyone and she was worth those awful, awful first several months. But we will not be having a second no matter how many people try to tell the second will be “better.”
    3) Now that I’ve realized that not everyone has a tricky babe, I’m trying to get better about waiting to be asked. No, I won’t sugar coat if I’m asked, but she’s so wonderful now, why mention the rough parts when they may not have to go through them? I will say that I have a lot of empathy for others with little ones with spirit and always reach out if I see someone struggling. now d is almost 18 months and the intensity of babyhood has turned into sweetness, a huge belly laugh, and insane curiosity and i crazy-love her the way I thought I would when she was born.

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  80. before anything else go to my site and read the guiledine section. there i explain what i have learned so far about online biz. not too pretty and unfortunately not many people realize it.

  81. 39f Hey, Tom:Was just joking above. But sloirusey one of the best methods to get quality do follow backlinks is via the following methods:1. Guest Articles2. Article Marketing (try Ezines)3. Blog Comments e28093 look for relevant niche sites and add a commentYeah guest articles are something I really want to look into in the next few months, I also agree that blog comments are great, but as I mentioned I’ve begun to notice that a lot more are nofollow than I thought which is a shame Cheers for the tips!

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  85. to people in a forum held in Jaffna that If pcoile powers are given to Tamil province now It will act as another para military. But what I commented was seriously criticized. The bloody elitist scoundrel living in Europe and USA wish to make another fight in Sri Lanka. Because their children will be never affected .Do you agree or not?Regards,Bharthipan

  86. Dear Nadesan,I wish to know your opinion about the Jeneva desoicin. I think this situation has increased the diffrences between tamil and Singalese. But most of Tamil (About 99.9%) in jaffna believe that America should send their nato force against Singala rulers and economic embargo etc ..Bharthipan

  87. Tanya – Congrats on a new milestone! The year will go by so fast. Before you know it she will be all grown up. Ashley just sttaerd the 7th, yes 7th grade! Where has the time gone? Enjoy and cherish these days. Tell Hope I am very proud of her and I know she will do very well.Love,Tanya

  88. Krishna Sir, Nice to hear from you about our village.Although we are away,we alyaws eagar to hear & see prosperity of Ghandruk and the Ghandruke.Thank you very much and hopeto hear from you very soon. Krishna Gurung Kot Gaon(residing in The U.K.)

  89. Marissa Mayer (First female hire at Google) tunred down a job offer at McKinsey to be at Google when they were just a startup. Sometimes you have to make tough choices. It is a great resume builder, though, if you were the type of person that cared what other people thought about their resumes.

  90. Thank you so much for your very insightful comnmets Ali!!!I loved this statement you made: information on it’s own changes nothing. It is implementation of ideas and action that changes things. It hit me like a ton of bricks! You are absolutely right! I had allowed myself (in the interest of growing my biz) to get snowed under so much information and while overwhelmed, unable to actually take action!I am thinking that decluttering your INBOX is a brilliant idea.. I started today to delete anything that hasn’t been read in a week.. if I didn’t have time last week to read it or listen to it, leaving it on my inbox only makes me feel behind and cluttered!Thank you so much for your input and encouragement!!!

  91. not motherhood but feaotrhohd my wife just started nursing school, so I am provider, dad, breakfast cooker, homework dad, recreation specialist, house cleaner, etc I LOVE IT! the opportunity to serve my wife and kids. I am learning to respect moms and their role more than ever and single moms/dads! amazing what they do. on top of it all i am getting ready to launch a website so i am up late studying SEO, social media, etc as you are. always sthing more to learn! thanks for the article, super encouraging! and great reminder.

  92. Oh my. What a meltdown ieednd. But you have photographic evidence of her lack of cooperation for when she’s a teen or young adul and you want to show her friends what an awesome bab she was ; ) Why is taking decent pictures so damn hard?

  93. Thanks! Took a veeerrrryyyy long time. But was super fun, so tllaoty worth it! Tonight I need to be more efficient. For the thumbnail strips, I use the collage feature on Picnik. Then I make the space in between white. Glad you like. The Detox is going well! Aside from really wanting a cup of coffee on this chilly, rainy Ohio day, I’m feelin’ go-oo-ood! Thanks for stopping by!

  94. Shanna and Jeff and Tayler – Amanda,Oh how fast they do grow up. I still remember Tay’s first day of Kindergarten (do you)? Treasure every moenmt because before you know it she’ll be a teenager and then the fun really begins .. Love ya..

  95. Oh my. What a meltdown ineded. But you have photographic evidence of her lack of cooperation for when she’s a teen or young adul and you want to show her friends what an awesome bab she was ; ) Why is taking decent pictures so damn hard?

  96. A huge thank you to both Roger and Kirsty once again ( for the third time) for producing such beauuiftl photos. You truly have been able to capture a moment of what is such a special time in our lives. Your artistic flair, efficiency and professionalism is something that we shall certainly be recommending to family and friends. Thanks again, Pia and Matt

  97. Catalin, you are probably right, but since Xbox360 is a DX9 divcee, waiting for DX10 in XNA would be not much of solution for me :/But, what if we compute a line that stretches across a polygon that is supposed to cast shadow. This line would connect the two most outer points of that polygon, the ones that are on the edges of your shadow. Then we could use that line for calculating shadow using Manders method. Off course such a shadow would partially cover the shadow casting object itself, but then we could draw that object on top of the shadow layer or maybe use a pixel shader to remove parts of a shadow that intersect with the shadow casting object itself.Again this is only a rough idea, based on my common sense logic and not a deep knowledge of the XNA and shaders. The knowledge which i unfortunately don’t posses (yet)

  98. Sudafed is safe and it will not make you sleepy. I am fiintghg a cold right now too and breastfeeding. She is 15 months old and this is not the first time. I like Sudafed because it helps the cold to drain and prevents a sinus infection.I hope you feel better really soon!sweet: I have been breastfeeding for 15 months, I have had numerous colds as I teach kindergarten and have breastfed all the way through with no loss of milk at all. Do your research please. I also breastfed our son 11 years ago- and used the same meds with no side effect for my supply.Here is a list of meds that are safe in general:Here is a list of some natural remedies since you may be interested:

  99. Coco butter is the age old reemdy that I felt never worked for me. I have two children and the 1st one gave me some but the 2nd child really left her mark. You have to be really really diligent. Every day to keep your skin supple. No scratching either, just rub the itch away. Shea Butter and Olive is another mixture that I have heard. There is also a product that I plan to try myself called Body Butter.Baby oil is a bit too messy unless you walk around all day with your shirt tucked over your belly. Good Luck!! -6Was this answer helpful?

  100. The best thing to prevent strceth marks is to keep your skin hydrated. Use a really good lotion every day to help prevent deep marks. It won’t make them stop, but it’ll help them not be so dark. Also, you may want to purchase something like mederma if you already have strceth marks, because it lightens scars. I’ve used it on burns and strceth marks and it definitely makes them look alot better! +12Was this answer helpful?

  101. I used the Palmers Cocoa Butter Tummy butter every day after my shweor. It worked pretty well for me, and I only ended up with just the tiniest stretch marks right under my belly button! And I had twins! But from everything I’ve ever heard, stretch marks tend to be genetic. So if your mom had them, there might not be much you can do even with the best creams and oils. =( Bummer! +7Was this answer helpful?

  102. Oh my god you are amazing. My nbroewn is 3 weeks old and she has had nothing but issues when it comes to gas bubbles. Within two minutes we had her quietly calmed and sleeping after an hour long tantrum. Thank you for posting this miracle haha. Unfortunately, she’s not old enough for me to try my mothers Peppermint in a bottle trick.

  103. Hello joyboncik, Techniques must be obtained and practised constantly, but master heart, physical fighting is capable of make perfect known as seriously nearly so -Comprar Tous this also is actually awesome .not Comprar Tous.Good okkkcxcb!!

  104. If they had a good player contract I would do this or invest on one myself. The fact that the server’s gold hoarders rarely invest is why rich rich rich crowd in wow so aggravating – no significant trickle down effect somebody has multiple or flush one gold capped cartoon he never logs over the course of on.

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