Moxie Madness 2012 Final Four

Now, now, NOW! Vote for the Final Four! Open 'til 9 am EDT Saturday morning. Final tournament opens Monday at 9 am EDT.

 

Hippie Conference (Sears and Leach Divisions):

9-month sleep regression

vs.

Food allergy

VOTE

5.1 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

 

Detached Conference (Weissbluth and Babywise Divisions):

GERD

vs.

Nanny quits

VOTE

5.2 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Take the weekend off, and be ready for the final Monday!

Moxie Madness 2012 Elite 8

One day and one day only of voting in the Elite 8. Four match-ups, all for your enjoyment. Voting open until 9 am EDT Friday.

Download the new bracket here.

And now, on with the voting:

 

Sears Division:

9-month sleep regression

vs.

Nap strike

VOTE

4.1 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

Persistent diaper rash

vs.

GERD

VOTE

4.2 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Partner can't soothe baby

vs.

Food allergy

VOTE

4.3 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Nanny quits

vs.

Electricity goes out and you lose your breastmilk stash

VOTE

4.4 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Tomorrow we go on to the Final Four!

Moxie Madness Sweet 16 Part II

Second day of voting for the Sweet 16. Open until 9 am EDT Wednesday. Elite 8 voting opens Wednesday around 9:30 am EDT. Here we go!

 

Sears Division:

Nap strike

vs.

Your child is bitten by another child

VOTE

3.5 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

4-month sleep regression

vs.

GERD

VOTE

3.6 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Baby sleeps through night but you have insomnia

vs.

Food allergy

VOTE

3.7 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Mommy drive-by from your mommy

vs.

Electricity goes out and you lose your frozen breast milk stash

VOTE

3.8 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Elite 8 voting opens tomorrow morning.

Moxie Madness Sweet 16 Part I

My bracket is totally busted.

I had 3.5-year-old and Poopsplosion going into the Sweet 16 and Mastitis going at least into the Elite 8. Total suprise.

Anyway, here is your Sweet 16 bracket to download.

We're doing two days of voting, today and tomorrow. 9 am EDT (late start today) through 9 am EDT the next morning. Then Thursday and Friday we do the Elite 8, and Friday is the Final Four. Taking the weekend off, then Monday is the finals.

Four match-ups today, one from each division. Here we go!

 

Sears Division:

9-month sleep regression

vs.

Child begs you not to go to work

VOTE

3.1 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

Persistent diaper rash

vs.

Baby pukes in your mouth

VOTE

3.2 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Pet wakes baby from nap

vs.

Partner can't soothe baby

VOTE

3.3 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Asked "When are you due?" when baby is a year old

vs.

Nanny quits

VOTE

3.4 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Four more match-ups tomorrow, then we move on to the Elite 8!

Moxie Madness Round 2 Voting Part IV

Final batch of match-ups for Round 2! Some truly difficult pairings today. Voting is open 9 am EDT Monday to 9 am EDT Tuesday.

 

Sears Division:

Your child is bitten by another child

You try really, really hard not to think there is something seriously wrong with the miserable little brat who bit your kid, but waves of aggressive hatred are pulsing through you as you try to comfort your hurt child.

vs.

Poopsplosion

The horror…

VOTE

2.13 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

Mother-in-law second-guesses you

The internal conflict of genuinely not caring what she thinks but knowing you need to keep the peace anyway and realizing that it truly is a competition no matter what it should be. And if you don't reinforce boundaries right now you lose your authority.

vs.

GERD

Your child is in constant, massive discomfort.

VOTE

2.14 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Food allergy

Never safe unless it's something you made yourself in your own kitchen, and not always even then.

vs.

Potty training

No, really, how many months is this going to take?

VOTE

2.15 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Electricity goes out and you lose your frozen breast milk stash

Ounces and ounces of breastmilk, every drop a victory, all gone.

vs.

Mastitis

Pain and fever that makes you think you might not actually wake up.

VOTE

2.16 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Woot! Done with Round 2, and on to the Sweet Sixteen, starting tomorrow at 9 am EDT.

Moxie Madness Round 2 Voting Part III

 

Here's the third of four batches for Round 2. Vote for the one you think is worse in each pair. Voting for this batch is open from Saturday at 9 am EDT through Monday at 9 am EDT.

And away we go!

 

Sears Division:

Nap strike

Which is more grueling? No down time for you, or the xtreme crankiness as the napless day wears on?

vs.

3.5-year-old

You can never win with a 3.5-year-old. They seem to be able to test every boundary, even ones you didn't know you had. Even when you give in, they freak out because you gave in. And they never stop talking.

VOTE

2.9 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

4-month sleep regression

The 4-month sleep regression made me feel genuine despair, and a lack of faith that I could actually make it through the parenting experience.

vs.

Nursing strike

You'd almost just be ready to give up and say, "Fine! See if I care!" to a baby who won't nurse, if only you weren't so swollen and achy.

VOTE

2.10 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

The pain of leaving (and prepping to leave) and missing the baby, combined with the guilt at feeling so happy to sleep through the night alone in a bed.

vs.

Baby sleeps through night but you have insomnia

It's probably a magnesium deficiency, not something seriously wrong with you or irreversible, but it's grueling and makes you feel like it's your own fault somehow.

VOTE

2.11 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Partner's business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

All alone, for days at a time, with a creature who doesn't sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time.

vs.

Mommy drive-by from your mommy

It either cuts to the core, or makes you realize how little you have in common with the woman who raised you.

VOTE

2.12 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Last batch of Round 2 voting opens Monday at 9 am EDT and closes Tuesday at 9 am EDT.

Moxie Madness Round 2 Voting Part II

I've been thinking so hard about what parents of white kids can learn and talk to our kids about in the wake of the murder of Trayvon Martin. I wrote a piece about it that seems to be polarizing people: "Talking about race with our white kids after Trayvon's murder"

 

Moxie Madness

Here's the second batch of four match-ups for Round 2. Voting 9 am EDT to tomorrow 9 am EDT.

Have at it.

 

Sears Division:

Child begs you not to go to work

I'm not sure which is worse, when your child begs you not to go to work to a job you're only doing because you have to pay the rent and buy food, or when your child begs you not to go to work to a job you love but technically don't need to work at because you'd have enough to live on otherwise.

vs.

Family vacation

Sand…everywhere…for months… And you're the only one who notices or cares.

VOTE

2.5 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

Nanny at the playground chastizes you

The worst part of it is being chastized by someone who gets to leave the child every night and not have to deal with anything that happens in the middle of the night. And why should kids have to stay clean at the playground anyway? You can't believe the nannies at the playground have been talking about you.

vs.

Baby pukes in your mouth

I know a lot of you reading this think this is some horrrible dystopian fantasy of what happens during parenting, but there are a shocking number of us who have had our children vomit or spit up directly into our mouths. Close your eyes and get that mental image for a second.

VOTE

2.6 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Partner can't soothe baby

So it's all on your shoulders. You feel resentful, angry, and worried about your partner's relationship with your child if your partner can't even figure out how to soothe the baby, even though you've given them the alone time and space to figure it out together.

vs.

Child puts golf ball down toilet and plumber can't get it out

$250 wasted, for nothing but a new toilet and the realization that you actually did need the toilet lock after all.

VOTE

2.7 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Nanny quits

And you wonder if there's something about you or your children that she didn't like, or if it's about money, or something else. Is it you?

vs.

WOHM shunned by SAHMs at school

You know you don't know everything that's going on at the school because you're not there all the time. The moms who are there all the time seem to think you don't care about your child because you can't be there to supervise lunchtime.

VOTE

2.8 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Voting for the next batch of match-ups will be open all weekend, from 9 am EDT Saturday through 9 am EDT Monday.

Moxie Madness Round 2 Voting Part I

We're down to 32 contenders, so we have 16 match-ups. We'll be doing 4 each day for 4 days, one from each division. I'm switching the voting times to run from 9 am EDT to 9 am EDT so I can go to bed on time every night.

Here's the new bracket showing the winners and current matchups for Round 2.

What surprised you? Post in the comments.

 

And now let's get started with today's voting:

 

Sears Division:

Partner asks "What did you do all day?" vs. 9-month sleep regression

You know you woke up at 6, but everything between then and 6 pm is a massive blur. The baby seems to be fed, and there's spit-up on your shirt, and you desperately need a nap, but that's the only evidence you have that you were even alive.

vs.

9-month sleep regression

How many times, exactly, can this kid wake up in any given night???

VOTE

2.1. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Weissbluth Division:

Another mom in your mom's group writes a book during naptime

And fiction. She wrote a fiction book, with a complex plot, even.

vs.

Persistent diaper rash

You really, really hope the anti-fungal works. But how did your baby's butt get a fungus in the first place?

VOTE

2.2 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Leach Division:

Your sister's baby sleeps 8 hours at 6 weeks old

You love your sister, and are happy for her that she's getting sleep, but after all those months and months of struggle with your own baby's sleep, now everyone's looking at you like you're the dumb one. You never thought sibling issues would come into play until your own child had a sibling.

vs.

Pet wakes baby from nap

The worst part of the pet waking the baby is how close you were to the pet before the baby came. That dog was your baby for so long, but now you're ready to banish it to the basement if it won't stop barking and waking your human baby.

VOTE

2.3 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Babywise Division:

Asked "When are you due?" when baby is a year old

The body issues are so confusing. First you have no control over your own body during pregnancy (even if you were able to get pregnant when you wanted to and didn't have another whole layer of body angst), then the whole delivery, then the weirdness of trying to nurse, and now your body just doesn't seem to be yours in the same way it was before. You honestly don't need well-intentioned strangers adding more weirdness to your body image.

vs.

Mommy drive-by from stranger

You know that before you had a child you THOUGHT stuff like that about random parents you saw, but would you ever have actually SAID anything out loud? No, because you're a civilized human being. Why do people say hurtful things?

VOTE

2.4 Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Come back tomorrow for the next four match-ups in Round 2!

Moxie Madness Round 1 Voting Part VI

Last day of Round 1! Today we need to knock out the last six first-round matchups. Read the description of each problem in the pair, then vote for the one you think sucks more than the other. MY DESCRIPTIONS ARE ONLY FOR EFFECT, and you should vote on how bad YOU feel each problem is, not based on my description of it. Voting runs midnight to midnight, EDT.

Today's matchups:

27. Nanny quits vs. Partner soothes baby better than you can

28. Two in diapers at the same time vs. WOHM shunned by SAHMs at school

29. Sex for the first time post-partum vs. Partner's business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

30. You wake up at midnight, drooling, on the floor next to the crib vs. Mommy drive-by from your mommy

31. "Mom. Mom! Mommy!! MOM! MO-O-OM!!!!" vs. Electricity goes out and you lose your frozen breast milk stash

32. Mastitis vs. Walk into room to find baby climbing out of crib

 

 

Nanny quits

After a long, stressful day at work, during which your main consolation was knowing your child was in good hands, you come home to your nanny telling you she's accepted another position and is starting there in two weeks.

vs.

Partner soothes baby better than you can

All you've got is nursing, and if that doesn't calm the baby down, you're out of tricks. Your partner, however, is the freaking baby magician and can practically soothe your baby using telepathy from the other room. Don't babies like their mothers more than anyone else? What are you, chopped liver?

VOTE

27. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Two in diapers at the same time

10 diaper changes per day for the baby, and 6 per day for the toddler. It seems like some days you do nothing but change diapers and wipe poopy butts. It seems like you'll never be done changing diapers and wiping poopy butts.

vs.

WOHM shunned by SAHMs at school

Every time you drop off and run out to get to work only a few minutes late, you feel their eyes looking at you. You don't know their names, except from the emails they send asking for someone to bring in cupcakes at 11 am for the class party, or sharing photos of the field trip to the apple orchard on a random Wednesday right during your office's busy season. None of them has introduced herself to you, even though you've volunteered to organize and send out the monthly class email. It feels like your child is out of the loop because you can't go for coffee at 9:30 am.

VOTE

28. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Sex for the first time post-partum

Sex? Wait, what? I have to take off my yoga pants for this? And you're going to touch me all over? What if the baby wakes up? And who knows if my parts even work anymore. Wait, what?

vs.

Partner's business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

Just when you'd finally gotten the routine down and gotten into a great bedtime groove, your partner has to go out of town. Suddenly the two-person house of cards turns into a one-person scramble, and you're desperately hoping your partner's flight home isn't delayed even a minute.

VOTE

29. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

You wake up at midnight, drooling, on the floor next to the crib

Bedtime is largely taking care of itself, as long as you sit next to the crib while your sweetie falls asleep. Which means that sitting next to the crib while your sweetie falls asleep is worth it for a no-fuss bedtime. Until you wake up with your cheek smushed into the carpet, drooling, at midnight, and you didn't get anything done that you thought you were going to get done. Plus you're drooling.

vs.

Mommy drive-by from your mommy

Why do the judgments seem to hurt the most when they're from your own mother?

VOTE

30. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

"Mom. Mom! Mommy!! MOM! MO-O-OM!!!!"

 

 vs.

Electricity goes out and you lose your frozen breast milk stash

Three months of doing a pumping session after the morning feed, storing it all up so you'd have plenty when you went back to work. And all of it gone. It isn't even about the financial cost of replacement in formula (hundreds of dollars), it's about the effort and planning that went into building that stash and now it's as if you did nothing.

VOTE

31. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Mastitis

Hot, swollen, burning, shooting pain, complete with angry red streaks, along with hot flashes and fever and dizziness. You're not even sure you should be driving yourself to the doctor to get a prescription for antibiotics, and all you want to do is drift off into sleep anyway.

vs.

Walk into room to find baby climbing out of crib

You hear a noise on the monitor, so you go to get your toddler out of the crib before they start screaming. As you walk into the room, something seems a little off, and finally you realize your child is CLIMBING out of the crib!

VOTE

32. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

AND WE ARE DONE WITH ROUND 1. Voting for Round 2 will contain four match-ups each day, one from each division, starting tomorrow morning at 9 EDT. (These midnight votes were killing me.)

Moxie Madness Round 1 Voting Part V

Today we need to knock out the penultimate six first-round matchups. Read the description of each problem in the pair, then vote for the one you think sucks more than the other. MY DESCRIPTIONS ARE ONLY FOR EFFECT, and you should vote on how bad YOU feel each problem is, not based on my description of it. Voting runs midnight to midnight, EDT.

Today's matchups:

21. You stink like sour milk vs. Business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

22. Baby sleeps through night but you have insomnia vs. Mommy drive-by from friend

23. Food allergy vs. Woken up more than two times in an 8-hour stretch

24. Potty training vs. SAHM shunned by WOHMs at school

25. Asked "When are you due?" when baby is a year old vs. You mix tomorrow's formula bottles and forget to put them in the refrigerator overnight

26. Crib in a bedroom allllll the way down the hall vs. Mommy drive-by from stranger

 

 

You stink like sour milk

All the time, every time you catch a whiff of yourself you stink like sour milk. It's been months now, and you wonder if there will ever be a time when you don't smell like the dairy cooler at a sketchy bodega.

vs.

Business trip when your baby's under 6 months old

It's not just the hassle of travel, or of making sure everything's all ready for your baby for while you're gone, or worrying about your partner doing everything, or worrying about your baby missing you. It's missing your baby while you're gone, and having no one to talk to about it on the road.

VOTE

21. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Baby sleeps through night but you have insomnia

After months and months and months and months of constant wake-ups, your child is magically sleeping through the night. And now you wake up at 3 am every night, and can't get back to sleep for hours. You're as tired as you were with a newborn, but your child is sleeping through the night. You don't know what's wrong with you, and you feel guilty and resentful about not sleeping.

vs.

Mommy drive-by from friend

She was the last person you thought would drop a bomb like that, intimating that you're a shitty mother, and then take off so you can't even talk about it or defend yourself. You're not sure you want to talk to her again, and don't know what you're going to do the next time she wants to hang out.

VOTE

22. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Food allergy

Eating nothing but chicken breast, white rice, and sweet potato doesn't sound that bad until you're in Day 8. It's worth it, though, to see what it is that's making your baby scream and scream after every feeding and break out in an angry red rash. Once you find out, you know what you can't eat for the next year, and what you'll have to scramble to make sure your child doesn't accidentally eat someplace else. If only you knew if your child would ever grow out of the allergy, or if it was permanent.

vs.

Woken up more than two times in an 8-hour stretch

You go to sleep immediately after the dream feed at 11 to try to catch a few hours, but then you're awakened at 12:30, 2, and 4. And then the baby's up for the day at 7. You'd be drooling at your desk if only your body remembered how to drool.

VOTE

23. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Potty training

You couldn't wait to be freed of diapers, but now this process is stretching on forever, and your child seems no closer to being in actual underpants than they were a few months ago. You can't count the puddles of pee you've wiped up or the laundry you've done, and would put the kid right back into diapers if they didn't have to be trained before preschool starts in three months…

vs.

SAHM shunned by WOHMs at school

They all stand together at the fundraiser in their suits and nice shoes, having come straight from work. During drop-off they run in and out, off to someplace important so they can use their college degrees, never sparing a glance for the mom in yoga pants who's going home to put the baby down for a nap. You were probably in grad school at the same time, but now they don't seem to think you exist.

VOTE

24. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Asked "When are you due?" when baby is a year old

And then the cashier looked at you with bright, friendly eyes and asked, "When are you due? It will be so nice for your little sweetie to have a brother or sister!" You go home and throw the clothes you were wearing into the garbage immediately.

vs.

You mix tomorrow's formula bottles and forget to put them in the refrigerator overnight

All that money. All that work. And the worst part is that you didn't discover the bottles until you tried to take them out of the refrigerator to pack them, so now you're late to daycare drop-off and work because you have to mix up replacement bottles.

VOTE

25. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

 

Crib in a bedroom allllll the way down the hall

Your brain struggles to pull you back to consciousness as you hear the wailing coming through the monitor. You slowly swing your feet out from under the warm covers to the cold floor, then hoist yourself out of bed to begin the long trek down the hall to retrieve your crying baby. Do you sit up in the glider to rock them back to sleep? Or go back into your bed and fall asleep with the baby there, then remember to wake up to transfer the baby back to the crib? It's so much easier to decide when it's light outside.

vs.

Mommy drive-by from stranger

Honestly, what on earth would make someone say something so judgmental and hurtful to someone they don't even know as they pass by on the street? People are horrible.

VOTE

26. Which is worse?
  
pollcode.com free polls 

 

Tomorrow's the last day of Round 1 voting! Vote early and often!