It Gets Better Toddler Video

Remember a few months ago when we weere talking about how it gets so much better once your kids are out of the toddler stage? Annie from PhD in Parenting made this amazing video about it. Click through and read her post and watch the video (you might cry a little, like I did), and feel better about yourself.

My older son is about to turn 10, and I still think the toddler years are absolutely the most difficult in all ways.

Sharon Silver’s new online parenting class

This looks completely excellent from Sharon Silver, who you know I love:

Check out Proactive Parenting's NEW Online Parenting Skills Class that parents can do from home when they have time!

A child’s development, independence and power can surprise a parent or catch them off guard causing stress and reactions. Parents wonder how their parenting style will effect their child, or if their child will have high self-esteem and be able to resist peer pressure, or if he'll ever stay in bed, eat a decent meal, stop arguing and stop saying NO? Sound familiar?

Parents want parenting skills to help them do the best they can for their child! And now they can get those skills when they want them and how they want them!

The Proactive Parenting Online Skills Class not only gives parents 4 weeks of new parenting skills, it coaches them and gives them 4 handbooks with real world examples to refer to over the years.
Best of all, EVERY parent can attend!

Parents who Work, Stay at Home or Work at Home or want to listen to a recording when they have time! Those who want to share this with a spouse or caretaker and those who have time in the Morning or those who have time in the Evening, EVERY PARENT CAN ATTEND! Begins March 6th, check it out now!

New Delhi

While you're reading this, I'm in India for a school project. It's such a privilege to be able to go so far away to someplace so different from where I live.

I don't have any big parenting point here. I'm just amazaed at how absolutely different my life is now compared to two years ago. I would not have guessed I'd have the chance to go to India to work on a project with a huge impact on people's lives.

Is there anything you're doing today that you'd never have thought you'd be doing?

Folk remedy to make a late period come

I just wanted to put this info out there in case anyone needs it. If your period is a little late, and you feel all heavy and crampy and gross and are just waiting and waiting for it to come, you can try an old trick that uses ginger to irritate the uterine lining and slough off whatever's in there.

You'll have to consume a ton of ginger, at least 3-4 inches of fresh, ginger, and more if you can stomach it. Peel it with the back of a spoon, then slice and brew with hot water to make a tea. Drink as much of the tea as you can stand, and then eat the cooked ginger. Repeat all day until you've ingested as much of the tea and ginger as you can stand, plus a little more. If nothing happens by the next morning, do it all again.

You will be really sick of ginger and not want to eat it again for awhile, but your period should come in a day or two. I've used this to coax a sluggish period successfully. Pass it on.

Where I’ll be on Sunday

This Sunday, I'll be going with my children and their father (my ex-husband) to JC Penney. The kids need shoes, and I probably do, too.

In case you haven't heard of the whole JC Penney Shop-In, read Katie's excellent summary of it here. Long-time readers know that I have been seriously disappointed by the response Target gave when it was discovered that the company had contributed vast amounts of money to anti-gay political candidates. I haven't shopped at Target since July 2010.

It makes me happy that JC Penney is standing by Ellen. It makes me sad that there are people that think that Ellen, just by virtue of her being who she is, is somehow threatening their families. I know that my family–as weird as it is, co-parenting with my ex-husband–is only helped by people who are happy with their lives, couples that love each other, families who work together.

I haven't been to JC Penney in years. But I'm going Sunday, and we're going to buy some shoes, and I'll see what else they have. And maybe JC Penney will turn out to be our new family-friendly favorite.

(My secret dream is for Monbdo Guerra to design a line for JC Penney. Don't tell anyone.)


Friendships ending and parents scapegoating your child

A friend of mine, K, is going through a problem now in which a child in her son's class who has not been taught boundaries and limits is pushing all the kids away by his bad behavior. K encouraged her son to continue to be this child's friend, because she thought her son could help teach this other kid, but now it's all blown up in her face, and the child's parents are blaming K's son for "making the other kids hate" their son. When this all started a few weeks ago, I was going to put it up as a question here so we could all weigh in with some help, but now it's escalated so far that my only advice to K is to make sure the school knows that the parents are becoming irrational toward her family.

This is bringing up a lot of hurt for me though. When my older son (who is now in fourth grade) was three, a mom I'd been friends with since prenatal yoga class called me to tell me they were not going to be able to be friends with us anymore, and she wanted me to keep my son away from her daughter (who was in the same preschool class with her daughter) because they thought he was a "bad influence" on her. I now believe the girl had some sort of sensory disorder, as she'd sometimes freeze up when other kids came up to talk to her. Her mother was convinced my son had somehow caused her daughter to freeze up like that.

That call, in which the woman I'd spent so much time with helping each other through the first three years of our children's lives broke up with us because my son was "bad," was one of those snapshot moments. I remember every moment of telling my then-husband what happened, of telling the preschool teachers the children weren't supposed to hang out next to each other at pickup waiting for babysitters or parents, every minute of how much I cried at the rejection.

I don't think I handled it particularly well (I just shrink into myself when someone hurts me and wait for them to stop attacking me). I still think about them sometimes and wonder if the girl ever got over her freezing up problem, and if the mom ever made it through secondary infertility to have another child. I hope they did.

It hurts when someone thinks your child is "bad." It especially hurts when you know your child was trying to be a friend. I was extremely lucky that a few days after this rejection happened, another mom in the preschool class, J, stepped forward to ask for a playdate with my son (and by extension me). She is funny and confident and snarky and an absolute delight, and we are still friends to this day, even though our children went to different elementary schools and then I moved to the end of the earth in NYC and now to Michigan. I don't think she knows how important her offer of friendship was at that particular moment.

I am hoping that the situation that K is going through, with her child being scapegoated by this other child's parents, is over soon. I hope the other parents just back off and leave K's family alone. And I hope that K knows, like I *didn't* know, that it's not her fault and that plenty of wonderful people want to spend time with her and her family.

And I am hoping that you are all weathering the friendship changes that come with parenting. Have any of you been through a friendship breakup or the rejection of your child? How did you handle it?