Guest post: 9-year-old boys and their mood swings

The other day I was posting on Facebook about how my older son seems to be going through wild mood swings and outbursts of anger. Now, I know he's emotional (all boys are. all kids are), but the ways he's had of dealing with his emotions in the past (talking about it, getting physical exercise, hugs) don't seem to be cutting it anymore. I was bemoaning my bad parenting skills, when T, a friend of mine who's a dad of the kind of 14-year-old son you'd be proud to have, offered some advice. So I asked him to write an entire post for those of us who were really good with the "talk it out/run it out" method of emotion management for our little guys, but may be feeling blindsided by the sheer rage of our bigger guys.

So without further ado, here's the dad's eye view of the 9-year-old boy, from a survivor:

It’s Not You, It Really Is Him

Hey there, friend of Moxie here. Just like you, I’m a parent, and specifically, a dad.

Question for everyone: Do you have a son, between the ages of 9 and 12? Have you contemplated calling the FBI and filing a report that claims he was abducted by aliens and replaced with an irrational clone?

Put the phone down.

Children basically go through three phases before becoming teenagers or young adults. First there was the Terrible Two’s, where the child has obtained the motor-skills of mobility and speech. Every other word out their mouth’s is ‘no’. It’s simply them trying to shape and control their world with the new found abilities. They become more agreeable for a few years, and then the Ferocious Five’s appear. It’s usually triggered by them being influenced more by other children (kindergarten) and their need to establish some form of independence, i.e., I will not do what you say when you want me to. Once they get acclimated to attending large classrooms, being away from you for longer periods, things tend to even out and they are more predictable. You eventually know the right buttons to push, the right words to say, and the right disciplines to use to keep things on track.

So, for the next few years you think to yourself that while parenting is hard, you’re doing a good job, you’ve been blessed with a good kid, and all the hard work will produce a wonderful adult you can be proud of.

Then it happens.

Premonitions of phase three. You think the first two were bad?? Strap yourself into the rollercoaster.

Your little man, your pride and joy, this wonderful part of your family… turns into a person you’ve never met. It starts with emotional outbursts over the silliest things. There’s too much or too little milk on his cereal. Someone offers to do something nice for him and he goes into a flying rage. You didn’t lay out his favorite pair of socks before school and now he can’t go. Up until today, you didn’t know he had favorite pair, did you? The once polite boy who didn’t bat an eye when asked to take out the trash now rolls them. Confront him about it, and the smart-aleck remarks start to flow. He even starts calling you names you never would have imagined him doing. As a mom, you first instinct is to nurture and console him, find out what is bothering him. That just sets him into a further rage. As a dad, you try to assert some authority having witnessed the outbursts, which just causes him to challenge you further. You and your significant other are probably looking at each other, or in the mirror, and wondering, “How did I mess up so bad as a parent. What did I do wrong?! “

I’m here to straighten you out. You know what you did wrong? Do you? I don’t think you can handle the truth. You wanna know??!!

Nothing.  For once, it’s not you, it really is him.

Ladies and gentlemen, congratulations, you have a ‘tween’.  The word tween comes from the notion that they are in-between being a child and being a teenager, not primarily occupied with play time like small children and not having gone through puberty yet. They are facing a period of rapid social, physiological and emotional development, which culminates in going through puberty (a new level of emotional parent hell which hopefully we’ll discuss another time). In the early tween years, before puberty starts, most of the pressures they are feeling are from themselves. They are worried about how they fit into the world and being accepted by others their age. Remember when you could pick out all his clothes at the store and lay out what he would wear every day? Not anymore. In his mind he’s not a little kid, and he’s taking cues on what others are wearing and what they think about what he’s wearing. Those dreaded words have finally invaded his life… peer pressure. You’re probably cringing right now remembering your own tween and teenage years. Your once happy and balanced child is now an emotional wreck of self-imposed and societal expectations.

You’ve read this far and might be screaming, “Ok smart guy, tell me what to do to make this better!”

Impatient, are we? There is no magic answer, but like Moxie, I worship at the altar of common-sense. Up until this point, have you instilled values in him based on your family traditions, your faith, the golden-rule and good-old-fashioned ‘just do the right thing’?  Then keep doing it, only you have to modify your approach slightly. For moms, that might mean more listening to him and less trying to coddle him like when he was younger. Unfortunately, you can’t fix his current problems if all they really are is a bunch of jumbled thoughts in his head. No matter what logic you use or advice you offer, his brain will figure out a way to filter and distort it. For dads, you have to learn to not over-react to his confrontations, even though he’s going to push your buttons. Sometimes walking away is the best course of action, it doesn’t prove he won, it proves you’re the bigger man. For both parents, my advice is let him vent… but within reason. Explain to him that you understand he might be going through a rough time, and that you’re there for him, but that doesn’t give him the right to disrespect you.

While it’s not impossible he was cloned, more than likely he’s still your son. Continue to love him; eventually he’ll come around. But I won’t sugar-coat it, it won’t be for a while and it can get rough.

So. Sounds an awful lot like Ames & Ilg telling us just to get a babysitter to deal with our irrational 3.5-year-olds, doesn't it? Sigh. I've seen other people's lovely teen boys, though, so I know it's possible to make it out alive. Courage.

87 thoughts on “Guest post: 9-year-old boys and their mood swings”

  1. I think you are telling me to relax and that everything will be alright and that I can’t do anything about this.BTW- as I was reading this, my 9 yo son came into the room told me he hated me, then gave me a kiss and ran out. Perfect, huh?

  2. Actually, this sounds like the behavior of my 3.75 year old boy. Charming and cooperative one moment, holy hitting, tantruming terror the next. Making me feel like a bad parent with no skills.

  3. Susan, click through to the book review of the Ames & Ilg book about 3-year-olds. Get the book, and you’ll realize it’s nothing you’ve done or not.Shelia, I think the best word is “copacetic.”

  4. This was so helpful. My son is most often so sweet, so compassionate, heart-breakingly loving. But boy are those emotional swings coming fast and hard as well, and as his mom, I just want to know what I can do that would best help him. Not to fix it all, or make it “all better”, but so he knows we’re always here for him, to listen and lean on as needed and to help him navigate whatever he’s thinking and/or feeling. Thank you so much for this.

  5. This is useful for us, too, and we have an 8yo. I find sometimes that the kids’ ages don’t always fit the timetable, but the behavior does … my son in particular plays well w younger kids but ponders questions of much older kids … he’s all over the map, developmentally. Which of course has to be confusing to be him and try and make sense of his own needs, not to mention the world.The post reminds me I need one of those huge British signs that says “Be Calm and Carry On.” Don’t let the kids’ freakouts prompt reactive responses … so hard to do!

  6. Well this is a relief. I am raising three boys 8.5, 6.5 and 4. Just a month ago I was congratulating myself and my husband for raising such sweet, polite and kind boys. Then it’s like a switch went off and my oldest boy has been moody, full of attitude and aggressive with his brothers.We’ve never had discipline issues with any of them, we’re consistent with boundaries, and lots of love and affection.
    A couple of weeks ago my oldest boy yanked my middle boy down a slide because middle boy was being ‘annoying’. I stood up, shocked and ordered my oldest to find a seat on the park bench. He sheepishly walked over to me and said ‘Mom, I’m kind of embarrassed to have a time out, can’t I just apologize?’ I gave him the benefit of the doubt and told him to aplogize and tried to prevent his humiliation at the park because it was out of character for him. But then, every day after that he was lashing out aggressively with his brothers for things that previously were no big deal. We were sending him to his room to cool off and he we scream at us that we didn’t care about him anymore and that he should just leave ?????
    My husband and I were dumbfounded by his rage and his aggressiveness towards his brothers and the wild mood swings. Finally after four consecutive days of smacking and kicking his brothers I told him that he needed a better release for his anger like punching a pillow or kicking balls. He rolled his eyes at me and told me that he wasn’t a child anymore. So, I told him the next time he hurts one of my kids he will lose his allowance for the whole week. And then … he said fine, hugged me and told me that he was sorry and that he loved me.
    In hindsight, I guess he needed a firmer boundary, a harsher consequence. He is a child that has always been a ‘rule-follower’ and I guess he has outgrown time-outs and needed more. It’s been over a week with no outbursts, and no aggressiveness with his brothers. So we’ll see. Thanks for the insight Tony.

  7. I’m happy that my brief insight into 9yo behavior has helped some of you. I think the part that hurt us the most, and many of you, is that utter confusion that smacks you in the face. One day you have a great kid that is loving and respectful, the next day he’s cursing at you like a truck driver. It’s like everything you previously knew about the world is a lie.I’m no expert, but I think your approach is dead-on, Linda. It’s not that he needed a harsher consequence, just one that is more relevant to his current world. As parents we’re always going to think of them as our little children, but the reality is that they are growing up in both their own minds and in the world itself.

  8. I suspect this is going to be true of similarly-aged girls, as I see @spacemom says above too. Since I have one of each gender, both of whom are still young, I will be filing this information away for later use!Thanks, T!

  9. Definitely filing this away for future use. For now, gearing up for 3.5.Will be watching the comments with interest. I have an adopted 12 yo niece. My bro & sis-in-law are dealing with what everyone is describing, but don’t have the benefit of having raised her from a young age, when the cycles of phases are generally quicker and it’s (I think) easier to see after a few cycles that it’s not the kid speaking, but the developmental phase. And also to realise that although the kid’s language may be sophisticated, the reasoning etc. is not as developed. Still frustrating to manage the erratic behaviour…especially when it pushes your buttons. But I find it helps to reduce power struggles etc. when you have reference for what
    your kid’s typical behaviour is in an ‘easy’ phase, and that there’s just
    some developmental craziness going on.

  10. So…in 3 years I will have a 3.5 year old boy and a 9 yr old boy and what you are telling me is save my money for all the single-malt scotch I am going to need.Eeeee.
    Bookmarking now!

  11. The other day I was posting on Facebook about how my older son seems to be going through wild mood swings and outbursts of anger. Now, I know he’s emotional (all boys are. all kids are), but the ways he’s…

  12. Great post! Loved that a dad wrote it. I think he’s dead on!Today is Tall, my oldest’s birthday. I’ve been reflecting on who he was, and has been since going through those stages.
    I totally agree about this stage and the advice. For those of you with younger kids I think these words of wisdom can apply to you as well.
    When a child is consumed by a developmental phase and uses snarky behavior or whatever, it doesn’t really matter if they’re 3.5, 7, 9, 13 or 16. You want it to stop NOW!
    If you’re like I *was*, the type of parent who reacts almost immediately to that kind of behavior, then your child unconsciously counts on the fact that they can get a rise out of you when they’re snarky, rude, disrespectful, or misbehaves.
    I just wrote an article where I said that my kids used my propensity toward reacting as a red flag. They would say something snarky knowing that when i was done reacting I would seek them out to talk and resolve things. They were, amazingly enough, wiling to risk my reaction to get to the talking it out phase. Not my finest hour!
    When you feel a reaction about to erupt, the best parenting advice I can give you is be silent…for the moment.
    Your silence is more powerful than you think.
    When there’s no reaction from you, your child’s brain goes into overdrive. He begins wondering what will happen next.
    You’re not behaving the way you normally do. So emotional alarms go off inside of him or her.
    When you remain silent your child has to think for him or her self.
    He unconsciously begins to realize that he’s out of line and wonders what he needs to do to stop the feeling he’s feeling for behaving the way he just did.
    He unconsciously pulls, from the dark recesses of his experience, what he knows he has to do. He has apologize and regroup.
    And all you’ve done was not react and sit in silence.
    Once he regroups and apologizes you and your child can begin the magic of talking it out.
    This works at any age.
    For the parents of 7-13 yr old this is a crucial step. Showing your child that you will not react to snarky or bad behavior without thinking and getting an apology first primes the pump for the teen years.
    I found the tween years to be far more difficult, and very different from the teen years.
    But there’s plenty of time to talk about that later! 🙂
    Great post!

  13. My son is only 3, but I taught 4th grade. It is not a nice age. Seemed like kids who had some interest to pursue (a sport, theater, musical instrument, karate, whatever) get through it *slightly* more smoothly.

  14. Great post, thanks so much! I have a 7-year-old girl and am filing this away. I think I’m experiencing a junior version of this now where Mouse can behave so well, handle adult company and new situations gracefully, enjoy adventures, decide to tackle things & make plans & stick to them…and then there can be this sudden descent into an intense whiny, sulky, attitudinal state that just doesn’t match with all that other fabulousness in my head. So I’m like “wtf, what is wrong with you?” (not in so many words of course) and just like you say, I react – because people who can have reasonable and interesting discussions about all kinds of things just aren’t supposed to act like that. I guess I better get over that – 7 is not that big. 9 will doubtless be a whole nother ride, and I look forward to all of your perspective on it!

  15. @Sharon, As usual your advice is fantastic (and I’m noting it), but OMG! It’s sooooo hard sometimes to even stay silent. Especially when there are other stressors involved in the moment of the reacting. I’d say I’m less reactive than I was, but still find myself reacting at times I wish I wouldn’t. Hopefully by the time DS is 9 I’ll be better able to respond or at least stay silent in those button pushing moments.

  16. This post was tremendously insightful. I have a 5 yo and 1 1/2 yo, both boys Today was a rough day for us, a lot of tantrums on the 5yo’s part and a lot of yelling and threatenig and punishing on my part.Kinda makes me nervous of how I’ll react when he’s older…

  17. @Nella, mentioning yelling and threatening made me think of one of my sacred rules one should never break when it comes to discipline and children. If Moxie and her readers would like it, I’d love to write a short piece on that subject also another day.

  18. @Sharon #2, LOL, I’m with you sister! sounds like my 6 y.o. oy. thanks for the post T, and I’m waiting for the piece on yelling & threatening.

  19. Sharon@proactiveparenting – that “silence” response is BRILLIANT. Gems like this are what has kept me reading this blog regularly since before BabyT was born ;)The silence thing even works on my not-quite-2-year old when she’s asking for something, and hasn’t remembered to say please or stop using her whining voice. I just look at her quizzically and it gets her to ask again, nicely 😉 So nice to know this will work later!

  20. T, The Milliner, ARC THANK YOU, your words are so nice!I just had a private session with a couple and so much clarity came out of it that I now have new articles to write. They’ll be posted on my site after Aug 29th.
    I learn so much from all of you!

  21. For us, our 10 yo seems to never answer our questions- he’s either too specific or too vague or acts as if he doesn’t understand. Drives me batty. “Have you done your homework?” “uh huh” I find out later he “thought I meant” just THAT page of homework. “OH, I didn’t know you meant ALL of it.” So, does he really not know, or is he being a smarta$$ with me?

  22. @My Kids Mom… I’m actually laughing right now. Not at you. I’ve had the EXACT same conversation with my son numerous times. It’s mind-blowing, isn’t it? Remember when I wrote “No matter what logic you use or advice you offer, his brain will figure out a way to filter and distort it.” That’s what’s going on here. His mind is only focused on the here and now, he’s not looking at the big picture like you are, ie, ALL his homework. I’ve asked him at 8pm “home work done?” Replies “uh huh.” 11pm he is still up “oh… I forgot I had this also.”Still, the possibility exists he is BSing you. Does he have other distractions like an Xbox that he seems to focus on more than the homework? We had to institute a no gaming period for several months until he started to take responsibility again for getting his HW done on time.
    Hope this helps, -T

  23. Perfect timing! I was just saying to my husband that I’m not sure what has happened to our 9.5 year old son. He has been so sweet, easy-going and helpful and suddenly is often rude, aggressive & totally inappropriate. This helps so much- thank you. He is our eldest child and sometimes it is really hard to know what to do next when your current parenting strategies aren’t working.

  24. I came to the silence response by a separate path, but I’ll also say that it won’t work for every child. My second (nearly 10) panics under normal conditions if he can’t get a verbal response. It terrifies him, and has since he was very little. So that actually pushes him way over the line. I’ve learned with him to take a very calm tone and be breif (when I’m on my game, anyway), and THEN give the gap/silence. I think of it as waiting. And I totally agree – if I fill that gap too much, he’s not going to pause and self-assess.It helps to have multiple kids, I suppose, because someone will always interrupt someone else’s power play. So my attention will get drawn away soon enough.
    The other REALLY important thing to know for this age (7 and up, really) is that testosterone increases come in surges not in a steady flow. I recall from something I read a long time ago that the surges tend to run in 3 day bursts, with random number of days between (from outside perspective, I’m sure there’s a physiological reason for the cycles). So you’ll get HUGE REACTIONS for a few days, and then calmer for one or more days then back to HUGE REACTION. It was really useful for my boys (the elder nearly 14) to know that these were hormone reactions, and that it was not their fault but still their responsibility to respond appropriately. (Tip: the women here know how incredibly irritating it is to be told that it is ‘just your hormones’ talking, so remember to a. not introduce the concept in the middle of a hormone surge, and b. not use it as a stick to beat them with and c. not use it to be dismissive of whatever they’re upset by – they really ARE still upset, and likely they have a valid reason, it is only the expression/form of upset that is pushed by the hormones).
    Also of note with the hormone surges is that they tend to increase the physiological demand for movement and contact. Fighting biology on that is a losing game, so find an acceptable outlet. This is why regular sports activities are useful – really burning that out is incredibly helpful for their underlying physical frustration level. For less sporty guys, any kind of weight-bearing ‘helping out’ (rearrange the furniture so you can vacuum under it?), or general calisthenics (Mr G picked up pullups as a favored activity at 13), or even learning to do massage (Mr G earns spending money by doing massage on his grandmother – she had a massage therapist come in and teach the kids the basics) can help. For Mr B, horseback riding is a complete feeding of that need, but just hitting the scooter and racing around for a while also helps.
    My sister told her son at this age also that he would periodically have incredibly strong urges to just touch people. It was his responsibility to keep his contact socially and personally appropriate. He also needed to be aware that other boys were feeling the same way, so the bumper-car routine in the hallways at school, and general increased physicality was normal – he just needed to let his friends know if they were crossing the line (with him or others) so they could find the boundary of acceptable more easily.
    We had a really easy run of it with Mr G through this phase. Seven SUCKED (for the normal reasons, pre-this-stage), but Mr G is so contact averse that the outlets were mainly easy to handle (a bit more wrestling/pushing in response to his brother, sometimes resulting in ouch/tears situations but nothing at all significant). Mr B will be interesting to watch, as he’s always been more volatile, more extroverted, and way more physically oriented. I have definitely noticed that he is less functional when he hasn’t been in riding lessons for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, he also takes out his increased demand for contact and motion by hugging me or curling up next to me and leaning (oof! he’s heavy!). I didn’t get that other than brief shoulder-lean-while-watching-tv-together from Mr G, so it’s nice. Kind of shows the range, though.
    (Definitely also have seen the snarky, the resistant, the huffy, etc. All in the mix!)
    I think it is easier to enjoy the stage if you assume that it is just a new stage, which means new skills to build and new ways of being (including new ways of parenting), work on more tools for the parental toolbox, and don’t take it personally. There’s plenty to enjoy here, too. Including longer conversations about more important things… including things that are only important to them (sigh).
    Oh yeah – last tip: where ‘being with’ used to tell them you were there for them, now ‘talking with’ or at least listening to them talking and prompting for continuation of their stream-of-consiousness ramble is what feeds that ‘we are connected’ thing. It is tough at first, as the topics are often about their favorite play activities (please, not more about the yu-gi-oh cards!) to start. But they start getting more and more interesting, and you can see their brain developing complexity through this phase. It’s incredibly cool. Granted, 8-13 was always my favorite age range, so Your Mileage May Vary. 🙂

  25. @My Kids Mom, yeah. We have been practicing for years (with moderate success) avoiding yes/no questions or questions with one-word answers. Same reason. Moderate success. We still get the same mind-warping homework situations.Dinnertime is prompt time (and the grownups have to play, too). No “how was school” but ‘what was your favorite activity (and why)’ or ‘what was the biggest challenge you succeeded at today’ (etc.). This age they like to see the fair application of the rules (!!), so they get a kick out of me answering those, too. The youngers still answer ‘recess was the best! I saw my friend!’ (which tells me they’re still working the social development), but it gets more interesting.
    The same for homework. We regularly slip up and ask if the homework is done. At 13, we still got ‘oh, yeah, except that huge project.’ We use the school notifications to double check, but also work on the skills (skills skills skills!) of noting all homework and checking it off when done. To do lists work for grownups, they take time to learn how to implement. It helped me also to have someone (parent of another older child? Maybe it was a teacher…) tell me that this stage the learning takes years, not months. So plan for the skills to take a really long time to implement, study habits to take a long time to implement, and a huge amount of repetition to be required to get the concept into practice. Knowledge comes fairly quickly at this age, but skills take a lot of work.
    Last point on this – the praise thing (see Moxie’s posts on the ParentShock book) has immediate and visible impact at this age. Praise for something inherent (smart, talented) and we’ll immediately see effort drop. Praise for work, effort, or practice, and their effort increases (or at least stays steady). Self-concept issues become huge drivers, and ‘I am smart’ = ‘I shouldn’t HAVE to work to succeed at this’ + ‘If I have to work, I am therefore NOT smart’.
    Working with the teachers is also a good thing at this age. They forgot, they feel the pain of forgetting. We work with the teachers not to bandaid over the ouch or remove the sting, but to evolve strategies for catching the child’s individual type of error (forgot to write it down, didn’t plan ahead, etc., sometimes seems to be all of the options at once!). Teachers are SO used to parents trying to fix it, keep the bad grade away, dodge the impact (etc.), they’re generally really happy to work with us to not bandaid but strategize for long-term solve. As long as the ouch is before 7th-8th grade, the impact is pretty small in ‘grade record’ form, and huge in skill development.
    Good luck! Been there, heading into it again… (gird, gird, gird…)

  26. I agree that it could be a phase that he is going through, but is it also possible that you’ve all just gone through a major transition and he is reacting to that? New state, new home, new school, etc? I think as adults we forget that we have developed coping skills, both good and bad, to deal with changes in our lives, but children are still figuring out how to help themselves when something goes on in their lives. In this case, though you can see that the future looks brighter than it did in NY for your son, perhaps all he can see is that everything is different now and he has no sense of what the future will be like. We as adults often think we have more control and say over what happens in our lives, but I bet that when things happen that are out of our hands, our reactions are not always the best. Your nine year old has even less say about what happens to him in his life, and it may be that a bit of what you are seeing and dealing with, are his feelings about something happening to him that is out of his hands.That doesn’t mean that he move was bad or bad for him, it’s just an opportunity to learn how to roll with things and cope with transitions, a life skill that will be good to have learned at nine instead of twenty-nine or fifty-nine!

  27. I so appreciate this topic. Thank you.Right now I have a 7yo boy who is fascinated with all things camo and army and gun, and I would love to hear some thoughts on how to balance his love with my discomfort.

  28. You hit all the points I have been asking myself lately! Why, is he so mean to me and what am I doing wrong. I see he likes girls now and I’m not what he thinks about like he use to. Our time together is important, but only when he wants to spend it.

  29. That is so true! Thanks for the article. I know this from my experience too.Thank you for your participation in our blog, and together we can reference the complex problems; Hope to meet you in the next time. The job is very suitable for you.

  30. Thank you so so much for this article. My son turns 9 today! For hte past 3 weeks he has been moody with his dad.. thsi past weekend as we had a house full of company to celebrate his b-day he was beyond grouchy and unccoperative and anti-social. He is normally very loving and sweet and polite.This morning i kissed him goodbye as I left fo rwork and wished him a happy birthday…as his dad took a cake into school for his party the princiapl told him that my son was not himself anf that he was upset. the teacher tols me lst week he was crying for no reason. I couldnt understand what was going on with my perfect boy..so agaon thank you ever so much.. this is so helpful!

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  34. I am a foster mum to 3 boys,8.8yr,7yr and 4yrs old. Ive had my boys for 2yrs now and things were going better than expected considering their past.(all boys are happy to be here and want to stay here with me) My almost 9yrs old has a beauitful nature (use to)until about a month ago and then all hell has broken loose. The disrespect, sneaky behaviour and setting the other two boys up to get into trouble has started to take its toll on everyone.I’m guessing this normal age reaction and his insecurities and past role models are intermingling which makes it more difficult for me to handle. I think I may now have slighty more insight into this change of character. The keeping silent method will be a challenge for me but will try my hardest, I am felmale after all, we talk!
    Thanks

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  36. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was considering getting a counselor for my 9 year old. I couldn’t understand the mood swings, rage and frustrations. I thought maybe a hormonal imbalance or too many carbs…clearly I was at a loss. I appreciate you sharing your experience for those of us who are worried parents!

  37. Holy Cow… I’m thinking he’s depressed, he’s being bullied, he’s bi-polar. turns out ..he’s normal? wow, what a great post. thank you.

  38. Until now, I had the deepest doubts about my parenting skills…and took a rather guilty stand… trying to think over and over…trying to understand where I went wrong….Thank u…..

  39. 10 yo who has had emotional disappointment more than average; was really happy go lucky; lately as if the mood is a medical problem; spent hours reading up on MOI’s and mood disorders of the brain in case the Cheetos or soda or who knows what along with ? is causing some mood disorder. I know him very well and it doesnt compute. Could be a natural cycle of tween because since school started he has new friends, older, cool of course, and he wants to be with them. I know for certain that stress, less than ideal diet and not using his bed are factors for stress and sleep problems; add to this the normal tween? phase. I do NOT want this to be brushed off as "oh well its just the pre teen years, no medical problem to worry about…" when no diagnosis took place. Doctor is fast, she gives 30 seconds to checking him, despite any problems there is never any problem, just pay the bill. I cant imagine asking for neuro transmitter evaluation and getting something done. so the point? Is it related to one of the MOI’s and adrenal or regulatory neurotransmitter? an informal guess says yes it is assuredly a substantial part of the problem. He has enough support and upbringing to get thru tween life, i think both are factors here; i hope to be able to get a diagnosis but its not likely to happen; meaning the natural aspect will be that much harder and possibly more painful. if anyone else has the means? Id suggest the diagnostic side be done, don’t assume. those lucky enough to have great health and balanced MOI systems can get thru anything when parent(s) are loving and have common sense and listen. In our world of preservatives and bad food, over stimulation, watch out for the stress indicators it could be a warning sign

  40. OMG! Loving this!! Nail & head spring to mind! Just recovering from massive strop wine in one hand tissue in the other – after reading that I feel sooooo normal!! Alaloola!! Thank you thank you!!😜😜

  41. Well this helps ALOT. Not only do I have a 9 year old boy going through all the above, I too have 5 year old boy, so we have a double wammy in our house hold!! Hold On tight!!!!

  42. Thank you for the advice it helps knowing I didn’t do something wrong mine is 10 and I dnt know how to talk to him anymore without a argument he used to look up to me we would spend so much time together and now it’s totally changed and I miss the time we spent and the way he used to look at me now I feel like the enemy no matter what I do and it hurts but I can not let him disrespect people and let him do everything he wants or he will turn out to be bad and I want so much for him in life this is hard again thank you

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