The most helpful thing at four weeks?

Yesterday seemed to be a fairly horrible day for a lot of people, me included. So lets turn toward the light a bit, and share:

What is the most helpful thing you encountered (that someone said to you, or that you read, or that someone did) when you'd been a parent for about a month? (I feel like that's when it really sets in for most of us.)

For me, it was two things:

1. My mom was happy to talk to me every single time I called her (which was 3-4 times a day at that point) and always told me I was doing a good job.

2. My son started smiling, really early, and it was the positive feedback that kept me going.

Now you, please.


(Actual Q&A tomorrow if I make it through today!)

103 thoughts on “The most helpful thing at four weeks?”

  1. My daughter was a slow weight gainer from the beginning. She was born at 7lbs 8oz, dropped to 6 lb 12 oz and stayed there for 5 days, and then only really gained about 1/2 oz / day from that point on (she’s still only about 10lbs at 11 weeks!). I was really worried she wasn’t getting enough from the breast (I had a breast reduction at age 18); my midwife recommended pumping after every feed, giving her the pumped milk + 1 oz (which eventually went up to 2 oz) of formula. It was exhausting, and if it were not for the fact that my husband was at home for the first month, I would have lost my mind.When he went back to work, and my daughter was still not gaining tons of weight (and a lactation consultant I saw pretty much told me I was starving my daughter), I started to really unravel. At that time, my best friend (a GP and mother of 2), mother-in-law (nurse) and mother (overall wise woman) all kept saying to me “she looks great! Don’t worry!”. “Yeah, sure”, I mumbled through floods of tears.
    In the end, at her 6 week check-in, we discovered that she had grown 10 cm since birth! Turns out my baby is long and skinny – a banana baby, according to Dr Sears – just like her dad (not like me – sigh). My midwife reiterated: She looks great! I stopped pumping after every feed shortly thereafter, and we now only supplement 2-3 feeds/day.
    So I guess the most helpful thing I encountered was my community of wise women…and learning to appreciate the advice from those that had been there before…hence why I’m visiting this fantastic blog 🙂

  2. My son was an early smiler as well. That helped.Also I remember my mom holding my boy and saying, “You make beautiful babies.” That little boost stayed with me for so long!

  3. With my second, my sister has been over almost every weekday morning to make me breakfast and help get my son ready and out the door for preschool. On the bad nights, when I am still awake while the dawn is breaking, there is nothing I look forward to so much as walking down the stairs in the morning to a hot cup of tea and breakfast. It’s really kicks each day off fresh without the baggage of the day (or night) before.With DD now 3.5 months, I can’t believe those early days are already fading into a rather pleasant memory…

  4. My inlaws (who I get along well with) came over to the house and told us to go to dinner. They would not take no for an answer. Was just what I needed and the baby lived without me for that one hour. 🙂

  5. My husband had to go back to work when our son was 4 weeks old, but we got together every Monday for a picnic lunch. It just really helped to get out of the house, hang out with another adult, and have someone to take over a bit of the babycare for an hour. It also helped a lot that the weather started getting nice and very springlike at the 4 week mark, so we were able to go out for walks and soak up some sunshine.

  6. I actually posted on Craig’s List for new friends when Mouse was 3 weeks old – Mr. C had gone back to work at 2 weeks and I was utterly miserable and lonely at home. I only got one answer, but it turned out to be a woman with a 12 week old who knew everyone in our neighborhood. She told me which cafe all the new moms met at every morning, and invited me to a “babies welcome” movie matinee that was happening every week at a local theater. Thru her, I met my best friend just a couple weeks later, and while best friend now lives across the country, she’s still a best friend. And the initial responder – I don’t know that we’ll ever be personally close, but we help each other as much as we can and our daughters, the nerdiest girls at their respected schools, love each other still at 7. Well, Mouse is still almost 7 but anyway…finding a community right there in walking distance saved me.

  7. I had a terrible day yesterday, too! It’s weird how those things seem to go in cycles.- Around 4 weeks with my #1, breastfeeding got a lot easier. We had a couple small rough patches early on, but by 4 weeks I was feeling really confident, like I knew it would “work” which made me relax a lot.
    – Like Moxie, my mom tells me all the time what a great mother I am – this always makes me feel so much better about everything!
    – At 4 weeks, my aunt asked how often he woke up at night, and I said he was still eating every 2 hours. She said, Oh he can go longer than that! I know this sounds like ass-vice, but it really made me think about whether or not I was over-responding to every noise he made. So I starting holding back a little bit to see if I didn’t get him at every grunt if he would settle back down. He did! And I started getting a little more sleep every night.

  8. My mom always asked how *I* was, rather than how the twins were. I loved the twins, but was feeling lost as an individual and her interest in me really helped. She also told me what a great job I was doing and how proud she was. It was the most supportive and loving I can ever remember her being.

  9. My best friend’s mom sent me a note saying that “The days are long, but the years are short.” It remains the best parenting advice I’ve ever gotten, and really helps me get perspective during a hard day. The acknowledgment that while all this is going by so quickly, that those individual days can still be overwhelming was incredibly helpful, rather than just being told “enjoy it while it lasts.” It really captured the duality I felt towards parenting a boy who, while I loved (and still love) him more than life, was a very sensitive, high-needs infant. He freaking ROCKS as a preschooler, though.

  10. Our family usually takes a trip to Northern Idaho to visit relatives at their lake house in July or August. With the baby due July 30th, there was no way we could go and we were all really sad. But baby came a full month early (happy and healthy), and around four weeks I realized that there was still time to take that trip! It was the most wonderful feeling, and almost felt like baby had given us a tiny gift by coming early.

  11. Moxie, I think I found you at about 4 weeks, and that was a godsend. Thank you!Also, my Mom telling me how great I was doing, even when I felt like everything was going to pieces. And just being there to help me whenever I asked.
    Yesterday pretty much sucked for me, too. I hope today is better for all of us.

  12. Two things for me.The first one, when my son was about 5 weeks old, in the middle of winter, I was invited to a playgroup of moms with babies a few months older than mine by a local acquaintance I met through one of the boards. It changed my life. I had been cooped up inside with my newborn and husband (who was unemployed) and was so nervous to get out on my own — and in great need of a friend or two. I met so many great moms and since their babies were older than mine, they were experts in my eyes! I went to weekly playgroups with these women for the remainder of my maternity leave. Although I’m not particularly close to anyone on a friend level, we still keep in touch via Facebook and local events. Our kids are all 5 years old now.
    The second one was when my son was about 6 weeks old and seemed to be at the peak of his fussiness. I remember being on the phone with my brother, 1,000 miles away, who had a six month old son at the time. I was never very close with my brother, but he checked in on my frequently those early days. He asked me how I was doing and I was holding back tears because I just couldn’t keep it together. His advice to me, which seems so simple and obvious in retrospect was to feed the baby when he cries. I was still stuck on what the maternity nurses told me when I was released from the hospital: nurse the baby every two hours, one breast at a time. So, that’s what I did! My son was hungry! It never occurred to me to give the other breast at the same feeding or try feeding him when he cries, even if he just ate 1/2 hour ago. Well, duh! I tried that and it worked! He stopped being so fussy and things took a turn for the better after that. Note that my son was gaining weight fine so there was no reason to think he was not getting enough milk. Then, just like now, the kid has crazy metabolism and likes to eat!
    Funny, now these two things are my standard unsolicited advice for new mom friends: Try feeding first when baby is crying. Get out and make friends with other new moms.

  13. @wealhtheow, I just put that little gem on a sticky note on my desktop!My daughter was an early smiler, and at 4 weeks, she smiled for her dad and me. It was great timing because he was about to leave for a month, and with all the emotions we both felt around that it was a great little gift for him to take with him.
    Also about that time I found Moxie and others on the web. What did Moms do before the interwebs?

  14. I struggled with low supply (PCOS) and other breastfeeding issues. At 3-4 weeks I had a housecall from the incomparable Mona Gabbay. She gave me so much practical support, of course, but the biggest thing she did for me was that when I expressed some doubt about being able to power pump and all the other horrible things that go with trying to build your supply, she said: “If it interferes with your ability to enjoy your baby, don’t do it.” That reminder to put my relationship with my baby first–regardless of how I fed her–was exactly what I needed. And PS, it gave me the boost I needed to keep going, too.

  15. Someone told me about Hyland’s Colic Tabs. And though that didn’t cure the screaming completely, they sure helped! Maybe even in just making me feel like I was doing SOMETHING to help my poor little miserable gal.

  16. Someone told me to never wake a sleeping baby, which let me out of feeling guilty for not feeding the baby on a schedule and for enjoying her naps oh so much.

  17. My daughter was born with a soft cleft palette. It took us about a month to get her into the craniofacial clinic for her first visit. It was the nurse that took us back to get history, weight, etc. That was our angel. She showed us the trick of how to use the bottles the hospital gave us. We could feed our daughter! It did not take two hours for a few ounces. We cried with relief.

  18. Joining a moms’ group when Primero was 5 weeks old changed my life. The comfort of knowing you’re not the only one dealing with crazy newborn issues + the nonjudgmental support of all the other mamas pulled me through.

  19. The Maclaren pushchair ( stroller) suitable from birth.I was so determined that my new baby would go in a nice baby carrier on my person. Before birth I had gotten an Ergo ( with accessories) and a Wilkinet ( UK brand) and after she arrived and screamed her head off in them I got a Babybjorn. Same result.
    So we didn’t go out and she had terrible colic and there I was looking for the baby wearing solution. A ring sling. Oh,dear. She felt she was being murdered or something.
    Prams with her facing mummy and riding backwards didn’t go over well either. The carseat was the only way and I couldn’t carry it far.
    I was crying in the shop trying the baby bjorn , yes indeed, when a nice young salesman came up to me with the Maclaren and said it could be used from birth. Why not put baby in it?
    And she smiled and was happy! Really happy. All it needed was a foot-muff ( born in January) which was put on by the nice young man and we went down in the lift ( elevator) and out the shop happy.
    I took long walks with her in it, I joined a walking fitness class she loved, it got us mobile and kept her alert little self entertained. Transformed parenting it did for me.
    I did get told off for not using a sling at a pro-breastfeeding do. Not that I minded.
    The real joke now the pregnancy and early motherhood hormones have long worn off three years later is that I have hyper-mobile joints. I can’t carry weights. It’s why I had to wear a medical support while pregnant. What was I thinking with the slings? Answer of course was that I was not.

  20. Man, I don’t remember being miserable at the 4-week mark, but I can’t remember anything from that time that made me feel good, either! In fact, I remember having a lot of anxiety about people trying to get me to “take a break” from my baby – my MIL in particular kept dropping broad hints about how she was happy to babysit if I wanted to “get away.” I know it was probably well meaning, but I just felt threatened. If she’d ever tried to insist, like a previous poster described, I probably would have broken down in hysterics. Just a little reminder, I guess that it’s better to ask new moms what they need than assume you know. Calling my mom to vent was the only thing that helped.What I do recall as a positive from those early weeks is that I felt I really knew my daughter and what she needed – even before she started smiling, I felt like she had a very strong and recognizable personality. And I was so very grateful to my husband that he seemed to see it too. After what various friends had said, I expected all fathers to view their newborns as lumps that cried and pooped, but my husband adored our daughter and found a lot to laugh about in the funny faces or weird noises she made. And at 6 months in, their relationship just keeps getting better!

  21. I have a sentimental attachment to the book “Merry Christmas, Strega Nona” by Tomie dePaola because I had it when I was a little girl. My daughter was born in early December, and I wanted to get a copy in the house before her first Christmas.Of course, with a newborn, I was a little late to start looking for it. A small local bookstore ordered it, but said it would be unlikely to arrive before Christmas. Well, they called December 24th and said it had arrived. I explained that we had a newborn and that we’d be unable to pick it up. I explained the book was for my new daughter.
    The bookstore owner drove to our house, on Christmas Eve, to deliver it. Unbelievable. I wrote this story on the inside cover of the book, so that my daughter will know about it.

  22. @Wilhelmina, I forgot about that! I had a sling-refusing baby too. And it was around 4 weeks that we discovered that the shrieking little monster would delightedly ride in the baby bjorn if we faced her outward. So there’s another one.

  23. Well, that was about when PPD set in with my first. With no.2, at around that time I read about block feeding on Kelly Mom and that was a life-saver!!

  24. In the UK you can pay for a short course of ante-natal classes with the National Childbirth Trust. There’s a couple of evenings and a couple of whole-day classes, and women at roughly the same stage of pregnancy can come along with their partners and learn all about before, during and after childbirth. It supplements the pitiful three-hour session that the NHS provides, but that’s another story.Anyway, the best thing for my wife and me was the reunion with the guys from the NCT class and the teacher after everyone’s babies had been born. While passing everyone else’s babies around we realised that everyone else had been struggling as well. It’s so easy to think that everyone else is fine and you’re the only one who has a problem, but there was everyone, having trouble breastfeeding, having horrible experiences with hospitals, having ill babies that won’t sleep at all.
    Nothing works straight out of the box, so to speak, and it was so good to meet other people who were also having a hard time. We meet up for coffee every couple of weeks with some or most of the NCT group. A lady in my office still meets up with her NCT group, and her baby is off to University next year.
    So yes, knowing that other people have difficult babies made us feel better about our one.

  25. Today was my bad day/morning (delayed on the West Coast??) and it’s not even noon. Just teeth on edge and feeling overwhelmed at not having enough time to myself and the nonstop chatter of my 3.5yo DS.And then the once-a-week babysitter came and they’re off to the park, I come upstairs and read @wealhtheow’s quote “the days are long, but the years are short” and I got teary and all the tension melted away.
    Top 3 things that made a difference for me after the first month:
    1. Finding Ask Moxie, for sure!
    2. DS tongue-tie corrected at 2.5 months (nursing was so painful before that!)
    3. Friend told me she didn’t really leave the house for 3 months with her first child and since she was okay with that, it helped me to fend off all the well-wishers who were pushing me to GET OUT and DO SOMETHING (husband, included). I just really needed to cocoon with my baby and pretty much do nothing else.
    I still get emotional thinking about all that this blog and its community helped me through these last years. Thank you, once again, Moxie!!

  26. Hah 4 weeks, I don’t remember it all! I do remember week 3 when a friend called to check saying that week 3 was hard in her memory… It was a blurry time then, I’m pretty sure we had discovered the boy only slept on us or in the bouncer by that point and I believe I spent a lot of time in glider nursing. I think that around 4/5 weeks we got the big yoga ball out and that was the most soothing thing for him to be bounced up and down, got through a lot of nights like that. I really wish my mom had said I was doing a good job but mostly she’d just tell me how she would have done xyz. I think giving my DH the boy in the moby and going to bed at 7 saved me in those early days. Gosh and I was just started to think about a second, maybe not quite yet:)

  27. @Wilhelmina, @Charisse- that was us, too. Pumpkin HATED riding facing in. She only consented to be in a carrier if she could face out. I felt like such a loser because I couldn’t get the slings everyone said were so wonderful to work for us.

  28. My MIL stopped by to drop off dinner one day. Baby was not sleeping/napping for days, it seemed, and I completely broke down sobbing when I opened the door to let her in. She took screaming baby into her arms and said, “Go take a long hot shower and then lie down.” And she took baby outside where I could not hear the screams and rocked him until he fell asleep. When I woke up and apologized for breaking down she said, “Sweetie, that’s what you’re supposed to do with a 6-week old”.A lot of women knock their MILs, but I love mine to pieces.

  29. I was still treading water with my head reeeeeaaaaal low with my first at 4 weeks. My best friend from college (a surrogate sister, really) and my mother-in-law were the two people in my life with mothering experience who helped me hold on. They helped me decipher my high-needs infant, helped me keep on keepin’ on with breastfeeding until it “clicked,” and both validated, gently, how hard it was.But the moment when things started to get better for real was at around 8 weeks. I’d been going to postpartum meetings at the hospital, meeting other moms there (mostly moms who had high-needs infants like mine), and drinking in the advice from a wonderful children’s nurse/lactation consultant. It helped me feel like I wasn’t living in some strange, sleep-deprived parallel universe.
    Then, at 8 weeks, I went to a meeting and was the only mom there. I had the children’s nurse all to myself! I anxiously asked her a few breastfeeding questions (something like “is it really OK to feed him whenever he cries?” if I remember correctly). She reassured me and I must have been on the verge of tears, because then she gently but pointedly told me, “It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job.”
    I walked out of that meeting with my heart light for the first time in, oh, 10 months, since I first learned I was pregnant. I’d wanted a baby so much, but I’d been tied in knots for so long with anxiety and self-doubt. After that meeting, I felt like I could finally breathe again.
    I remember stopping afterward to nurse my son at a bench overlooking the Seine — it was a stunningly sunny afternoon in early September — and thinking to myself joyfully, so this is what it’s all about, being a mom.
    And what do you know, a couple nights later he started sleeping… better. Not through the night, but in long enough chunks for me to start digging out from under the sleep deficit.
    (Apologies for rambling, but number 2 at 3 months is currently reminding me what sleep-deprivation feels like. It didn’t take me any time at all with her, though, to remember the joy.)

  30. I was having a really hard time with nursing when my newborn was a few weeks old, and when I saw my lactation consultant, with absolute desperation on my face, she said “I can tell you are really connected to your baby. You are doing a great job.” I lost it. I think I thought that if I couldn’t do the most basic survival job of feeding her well, that nobody would think I was any good at this. I just needed someone that wasn’t related to me to see how much I loved my baby. I still cry about that small kindness when I think about it.My little girl got her latch issues sorted out and she just weaned at 19 months.

  31. I really don’t remember four weeks with either child. Hmmm. I just wanted to say how great it is that so many of you found nonjudgemental support from other moms. My hospital set us up with a parenting group which I was so looking forward to because I was dying to meet other parents. It was horrible. At the first meeting, we went around the room and talked about how we were doing with our babies. I said that it was just more everything than I expected…more wonderful, but harder, too. When it was this terrible alpha bitch’s turn, she looked right at me and said, “I don’t find anything hard about it. I love being a mom.” Six years and a ton of acquired confidence in my mothering later, the memory still stings.

  32. My first daughter was about 4 weeks old when we encountered a friend-of-a-friend in a restaurant with her husband and then 7-month old son. She congratulated us on the baby and then said, “It gets better at about 6 weeks!”At the time I hadn’t really thought about it having to be better…but sure enough, within two weeks, things really started to click for us and just get better, even though I hadn’t really considered myself having a rough go of it.
    When I did have fatigue and exhaustion with the second baby, I reminded myself of that acquaintance in the restaurant…and sure enough, just having the mantra of “it gets better at 6 weeks” just really helped a bunch.

  33. I have to say our pediatrician was a blessing at this point. As I struggled and struggled with feeding the first 2 weeks he just kept saying, “Don’t worry, just survive now, it gets better. He will smile at you when he’s about a month old and it will all be okay.” He was totally right, at almost 3 weeks of age, my son (and I) finally figured out how to nurse and the smiling happened shortly thereafter.

  34. Thank you Moxie for resurrecting those hazy memories of brand new motherhood.My husband was my support, big time. He would race home from work on a fifteen minute break, drop a bag of fish tacos, a People magazine, and holler, “I love you, babe,” and race back to work. I’d be up in bed, nursing Jack, tears drying on both our faces, and I’d go downstairs and see these treats and smile.
    He would tell me over and over, in the same steady voice what a wonderful mama I am. He never told me not to get cry or be upset, just rubbed my back. He would smile at Jack and I out of the blue, while we were just sitting together, usually nursing, and I’d realize, “Our family!”
    I figured before Jack was born, that a mother’s love would override all- that sleep deprivation, isolation, and hormones would be easy to defeat because of that gutteral, mama’s love. But we are children too, in many ways, and I needed taking care of too.

  35. My lactation consultant – apart from boosting my confidence and giving me a little needed mothering – told me to relax and have a beer. Thank you, Lactation-Beer-Lady.

  36. 2 things.1. Someone told me, very earnestly and clearly understanding what I was going through, that it WILL get better. I held on to that for dear life. And she was right.
    2. I found a great lactation consultant.

  37. The hospital where I delivered had a mom’s group (for babies from birth to 1 year) for nursing mothers. You could weigh your baby and talk about any issues you were having as a group(anything…feeding, kid taking a bottle, childproofing). It was run by a lactation consultant. I went the first time at 4 weeks and went every week until she my baby was one.I just remember being so FRAGILE that first visit. I was so proud of getting the stroller assembled and the baby in it. Then, I clicked the lock button over my shoulder on the way into the hospital. When the car didn’t beep like it does when it is secure, I went back to see that I had left 3 out of the 4 doors wide open. I was sensitive from my c-section and couldn’t bend to get my baby on the floor like the other moms. There were moms there with babies sitting up and crawling. Why were they still there? Did they STILL need help (I realized later that it was kind of the cheer on the other new moms and to socialize, but I was despondant at the time)? The baby had a poop explosion and I had to borrow a wipe from another mom because I didn’t have any left after the first poop. I just felt…raw.
    But, getting to that group at 11 every tuesday and then calling my husband and both grandmas to tell how much she gained became my weekly goal. It was like tunneling out from underground. I’ll never forget it.

  38. Reading all the comments, and remembering just how hard I found the first four months or so, is making me cry. I had a horrible time trying to get breastfeeding working and we had awful snow so I couldn’t leave the house for the first 4 weeks. The baby didn’t sleep at all. We were exhausted. I spent a lot of time thinking about abandoning my baby at the hospital and running away. I can’t believe we’re really thinking about doing it again.I think the thing which helped me most was the people who said to me “you’re doing really well”. I didn’t feel like I was doing well. I’m really still not convinced that I was doing well. But it helped so much to be told it. Also, the lactation consultant who managed to get my baby feeding – every time I saw her she told me how amazing I was. I felt like such a failure because I had struggled so much with breastfeeding and she reminded me how amazing I was to have persevered and managed it. I hope people remember that I need telling how amazing I am second time round too.

  39. For some reason I read these with tears streaming down my face. Human kindness gets me every time (Nmom at 2:49 – loved the story of your sweet MIL).I don’t remember specifics of 4 weeks… My second was screamy/colicy/whatever you want to call it. We survived because of my husband, my mom, my lovely English NCT group (that an earlier poster already described), and the fact that my daughter was born in April so we could be outside and not be going crazy at home. I now live in cold, cold Alberta and I’m so glad I didn’t have my babies during a Canadian winter.
    Nice to have you back, Moxie. Hope today is better than yesterday!

  40. I remember I was still finding my feet at four weeks (what was the hospital thinking when they sent us home with a baby!!!), but at six weeks, I looked at Baby Boy after our sanity-saving daily stroll to the coffee shop and was overwhelmed by love for him. It took six weeks for us to bond but that bond is stronger than anything ever invented!

  41. DH went on a business trip for two weeks after the baby was born – he left when little monster was 3 weeks old and returned on his 5 week birthday.Around the time of his birth, my very best friend was in a state of limbo. She had just finished her master’s degree and was waiting to go through top secret security clearance to enter the foreign service and as such was unemployed. Two hours after I put my husband on a plane, she was at my front door with a six pack of Sam Adams and a plate full of brownies. She came over every single day that he was gone and sat on the couch with me while I endlessly nursed my baby. She, though childless, very confidently assured me that one beer was fine and hey, maybe good for my milk supply. (And if I know her, she did her homework on the subject.)
    Getting to sit on the couch with my best friend and have a beer made me feel so NORMAL. And she was the only person I would let dote on me because she was the only person I knew who at that point in her life had absolutely no responsibilities. She didn’t have a job, she didn’t have her own children to look after, and her boyfriend was thousands of miles away on another continent at that time.
    Her first assignment takes her to India at the end of this year, and from there who knows? But she’s getting married in July and I’ve already promised her that wherever she is in the world when she has her first child, she’s got me, for two weeks. And that I’ll bring her a beer.
    Sorry to hear that yesterday was so rough Moxie. Here’s wishing you a brighter tomorrow.

  42. Oh, God, four weeks. At four weeks one mother told me that she hadn’t been sure at four weeks that she wanted to keep her baby, but that it got better. That was SO EXACTLY the way I was feeling, and I was getting down from everyone else around me was all “Oh isn’t it wonderful to have a little baby?!” and I was all “Not really!” (And the Little One was a very good baby, too, and I had an excellent support system. I was just overwhelmed by the whole thing, and it didn’t help that I had no immediate bonding at all. I do not know how those with twins/colic/high-needs babies/no-support survive!)(And it does get better. Way better. Thirteen-month-old Little One is a sweet (though getting stubborn!) little delight of babylove that I could not have envisioned in those dark days.)

  43. After weeks of our four year old twins squabbling and bickering with each other my son helped my daughter with something she could not do herself. He did this unasked and she said thank you with out a prompt.I was floored and wanted to cry and smile at the same time. Bickering children has been very hard on me and has made the winter just that much longer. This must mean that Spring is closer than we think :o)

  44. These stories are all so great. Now that I’m a mom of 3 (how did THAT happen?) I have a few things I always try to tell new mommies.The first is that it gets a teensy, almost imperceptible bit better every day.
    The second has already been said, but it bears repeating – the days are long, but the years are short.
    The third is always, “You look GREAT! I can’t believe you just had a baby.” I felt so invisible behind my baby – like she had engulfed me and Amy didn’t exist anymore – that it always helped to have someone see ME, especially when what they said was complimentary.
    Oh, and the bonus advice for listening to the first three is, “only take advice from people whose children you could happily live with, and that includes me.”

  45. It’s amazing and wonderful how kind words & good deeds really do have the power to change a new mom’s world.4 weeks after DS’s birth was Thanksgiving in the US, and we had no family at all in the city we lived in at the time. Although I’m an only child, and my parents could’ve easily flown or driven out to spend Thanksgiving at our house with their first grandchild, they chose not to – in part because we were soon planning to drive out to see them for Xmas, and also they had just driven out for the birth. Nevertheless, it was bullshit that they didn’t come for DS’s first Thanksgiving, when we really needed family around, and honestly it still hurts. This was also the time with DH finally cut his abusive parents out of his life. So DH and I both felt a bit like orphans.
    Fortunately, one of our best friend’s girlfriend’s family (now they’re married) who we hardly knew at all invited us to their house for Thanksgiving dinner – and we went and it was great. They were the most generous hosts, and really made us feel like we were a part of the family, and like DS was the little king of the feast. Very sweet – and a kindness I will always remember.

  46. My son was born 5 weeks early and because of a 1-week NICU stay and various other issues, we could not get breastfeeding established. I ended up exclusively pumping for 4.5 months, and just now am starting to supplement with formula.I was devastated that I couldn’t breastfeed. I felt like a failure. I heard so much about how important the breast feeding bond was, and couldn’t come to terms that I wouldn’t be giving that to my son.
    I was talking to one of my friends about it, and she just said “It is what it is. Just do what you can in the situation”. It’s a simple thing, but it was nice to hear it from another mom. She wasn’t judgmental about me not being able to breast feed (I was seriously very anxious about what people would think), and was just very down to earth about it. It really helped me relax about that situation, and being a mom in general.
    Looking back, I can’t even believe I felt guilty for pumping! And, really, I think that’s what parenthood is like. Everything seems like such a big deal at the time, but just doesn’t matter much in the long run.

  47. OMG I’ve totally blocked all of this from my memory, and reading all about it makes me think, “Why are we doing this again?!”At 4 weeks Boo was starting to get fussy but no one seemed to want to acknowledge it. I felt people thought I was lying or being a wimp. Finally one day a health visitor said, “Thomas is quite unsettled, isn’t he?” and I burst into tears. It was like someone was finally acknowledging how hard it was and implicit recognizing that I was doing something really difficult and it should not be taken lightly. That actually changed things for me; rather than feeling like I was a failure at doing something that everyone else was really good at, I felt like someone had finally acknowledged and commended the fact that I doing something really hard, and persisting and persevering.
    Also, the comment about how the days are long but the years are short feels so true. Boo is almost 2.5 and we just think, where did the time go??

  48. I already knew not to let a baby stay up for more than 2 hours and other random tips that were NECESSARY, but at about a month, if not a little sooner, I finally realized that there was no point in my husband getting up with me at night. It meant more to have a well-rested spouse during the day then to have someone there to watch me nurse. I was getting up at 3am no matter what, and I was much happier if he wasn’t complaining about being tired the next day.

  49. 1) My sister called me every day for two weeks to make sure I was ok. Even if I just sat on the phone and cried.2) My daughter’s godmother swore to me at six weeks that it would get better and easier, bit by bit. She was a mother of 5, so I believed her. And it did.

  50. Weeks 3-6 were actually a bit harder for us because that was when family came to visit. We claimed the first 2 weeks for ourselves so that we could figure stuff out on our own, then hubby went back to work and I was feeling ok, and then family descended on us.We had a lot of struggles because people were very grabby with the baby – this is the first baby in that generation of our families. I felt like I was being pushed aside/denied any non-feeding wakeful time with the baby because everyone else wanted to hold her. Obviously it’s great that she’s so loved, but as a brand new mom it was exhausting already without having to “fight” for the right to hang out with my own baby.
    Having friends and a hubby who empathized, and told me to be forthright about what I needed and what the baby needed was really empowering. I guess at the time I didn’t realize how much I could get away with saying/doing as a new mom 😀

  51. At four weeks, I was snowed in with the baby, post c-section. To be honest, it is hard to remember much. Here are a few things which helped me.Baby was a fantastic breastfeeder. He loved the boob, and he kept gaining weight.
    My mom would come over and tell me that I was doing a good job. She also would spend a little bit of time just hanging out with me.
    Our cleaning person! I loved having someone come in to clean. Still do, to be honest. It made a huge difference having a clean house.

  52. At about 4 weeks I felt like I could try leaving the house with my baby. I packed to go the mall like I was going on a Himalayan treck. I had one of those travel system things and it was so cumbersome to me. I was wheeling my maternal assault vehicle up to the door at Penneys and just felt like, oh great, now I have to get this thing in there. A boy who was going in with his mother (he was maybe 10) opened the door for me without me saying a word. I was positively VERKLEMPT as only the hormonal can be at this kindness to my baby and me, and I emotionally flooded that he had those good manners from the work his mother had done, and everything that’s good in society comes from this elemental force of parents civilizing kids. I felt this profound gratitude and I’ve never forgotten it.

  53. My mom explained to me how she felt helpless and horrified in some ways about new motherhood. How she walked in the house after bringing me home, thinking “my God, what have we done?” She has been and is the most amazing mother on Planet Earth. Hearing those words made me feel like the darkness I felt was somewhat normal and I wasn’t alone.

  54. Also, I can’t read these comments without crying. New motherhood was very, very hard for me for many reasons. I was hard on myself to boot. I want to do more for the new moms in my life; I want to make a difference for someone struggling so hard.

  55. (Just felt I needed to add a positive note after my horrible parenting group experience): This happened at closer to 3-ish weeks, but a dear friend of mine called to see how I was doing and just said, “Isn’t it HARD?” I had gone through infertility for a long time to have this baby and everyone expected me to be over the moon, but “fragile” describes it perfectly. The fact that she came right out and said it and didn’t expect me to be all sunshine and rainbows meant SO much.

  56. Ditto on my Mom. On a good say I called her twice. She went on vacation when S was about 2 months old and I tried to contact every hotel she stayed at on the tour–and missed her every time! I just needed to know I wasn’t screwing everything up, I guess. Those were some dark, dark days. I still cringe when I smell the hand sanitizer we used when S was just born…Ditto to on the smiling, except it was at 5 weeks. Changed a whole lot of things.
    Plus friends who’d been there/done that just before me. They told me to never mind the visiting nurses, put down the books. They told me I was doing a great job. And they told me about their experience, and how hard it was. One of my friends always said, “Oh, lord, yes, I remember THAT…” and I could cry for relief.

  57. that when it’s 4 in the afternoon, and i’m home alone, and he’s sucking and sucking and sucking and crying a bit and it seems like he’s not getting anything and i start to think about the can of formula we got in the hospital bag and it’s been 45 minutes and he’s sucking and sucking and sucking and no let down:it’s a growth spurt – and this time it’s bigger then the last, so just relax and let him suck because it will increase your supply and you WILL make enough milk!

  58. My playgroup.My SIL going to an outdoor marketplace and saying, “If I were you, I would be here so often,” and me realizing that I could take the baby out! During the day! Just for fun! And that’s okay if he cries!
    Catherine Newman’s Ben and Birdy column, now a book, Waiting for Birdy.
    Writing it down–made me be more mindful and in the moment, and really crystallized how quickly it goes, and how gorgeous (much of) this time is.

  59. I wish someone would have told me that my colicy baby could and did turn into a real sunshine who loved fun. She seem like such a whingey, whiny thing, but that does not mean she will stay like that. She still wakes every 2-3 hours to feed every night (8 months), but she also sings and dances and laughs all the time. I also wish someone would have told me to enjoy each stage as there are advantages to every stage. At the beginning she slept a lot – sleep then too, you will have lots of time to watch her and see her develop later. When my baby had Colic, she slept really well during the night (only woke twice) as she was so tired from crying I think. Then colic was over at 3.5 months, she napped really badly, but she was much lighter than now and less mobile, so take her out and enjoy yourself, later you have to take the buggy.Now she she 8 months and all over the place with everything as she is teething and still WILL NOT EAT solids: but, although I try everyday to feed her food, I am not too busy making loads of meals for her and as she still only basically breastfeeds, I do not have to prepare bottle etc. Okay we are literally joined at the hip, but this will not be forever, and I am sure I will miss it when she gets bigger.

  60. A pediatrician asked how he was sleeping, looked at my face and said, “oh, I remember when mine firstborn would wake in the night, just that first cry would make my stomach sink.” That comment made me feel for the first time, like I was not alone in sleep deprivation-desperation. And I knew that at some point it would get better. Little did I know it would be two years later…haha. I love that I can laugh about it now.An elderly couple gushed over my son when he was a few weeks old. It was probably my first feeling of having pride because of something external. I was proud of my son, and this felt soooo otherworldly good.

  61. I just posted two comments that people made that helped, but I want to add that my mother making amazing dinners for us, at her clean house, always holding the baby while we ate, always having MY favorite goodies on hand – well that pampering helped me make it through my first month on a combined total of like 12 hours of sleep.

  62. Moo was born small and has stayed small – I had a run of appointments at six weeks with a child health nurse, OB and midwife who all commented that she hadn’t gained much weight since birth etc etc. And then I saw a new GP who told me very kindly she was completely normal. My FIL (also a GP) said the same thing – and I decided to listen to them and ignore the comments about her weeny size.On a practical note, at 4 weeks I would put Moo to sleep for a nap, then put her in the stroller, wheel her over to my mothers and then go home for a nap. I just couldn’t relax enough to sleep myself while she was in the

  63. That was a miserable time that I’m consciously blocking all memories of so please stop bringing it up.What helped me (a little) was having 1 thing that I did without baby each week that I looked forward to. Didn’t matter what it was only that I did it without a fussy baby and that no matter what it WOULD happen. I went to book club meetings, long walks on sunny days, one morning I went to Starbucks by myself and drank coffee and read the paper. No matter how lousy the day was going I knew that in X days, I would get to break free and get some breathing space.

  64. The prozac kicked in and I no longer wanted to abandon my beautiful son and run away somewhere where no one would be able to find me, ever.I finally managed to get teeny, tiny, bit of a routine down so that I felt kind of, sort of, like maybe I could manage this and it wasn’t all a really, really, bad decision to have a child.

  65. 4 weeks to the day i went diving for the first time post-baby, so that bit of normalcy with my friends was wonderful. it was new year’s day.then i got a call that he was sick. went back to the nicu and he had necrotizing enterocolitis. spent the night sitting by his warmer crying with my hand on his head. called my mama, who came from home (2hours away), no hesitation. felt like my having a good day was being taken out of his flesh. it was awful.
    (he recovered from that bout, though the next one 6 weeks later gave him an ileostomy for a year.)
    sorry this isn’t a happy ‘i started getting it together’ post. that took about a month after he came home at 7 1/2 months.

  66. It was talking to a friend who had a baby a few months older than mine and hearing her struggle with the same things and starting to see herself getting into a good routine. Breastfeeding takes several months to “master”, sleeping patterns change all the time, and sometimes you don’t have energy for your husband, dog, friends etc. I think I fell into a positive groove when I learned that nothing is permanent. Made it easier to go without sleep and have sore boobs. I still remind myself “this is just temporary, it won’t last forever” on a regular basis.

  67. For me, it was actually at 5 weeks, when we ventured down to see The Husband’s family. I was SO stressed on the 5-hour drive there, I think I cried most of the way and kept telling him, “This is such a bad idea. Did I mention that this is a bad idea?” When we got there, everyone was so happy to see us and the baby and suddenly, I realized that having family around meant that I could shower, or eat, or go out with The Husband for a beer, without worrying constantly about the baby. It was a wonderful trip.

  68. It’s funny all the posters who can’t remember the specifics of life with a 4 week old. I have a now six month old (and a 4.5 year old), and I can’t remember either! Maybe it’ll come back to me later?I do remember my husband coming home from work one day after our first was born and saying that someone had told him it gets easier at 6 months. That did give me comfort in knowing that it was hard for everyone, and that it would get better.
    But my baby had unexpectedly been in the NICU after she was born, and the first 10 days of her life were so harrowing because of that. I felt so grateful to be home with her, so thankful that she was fine, and still a little shell-shocked from all we went through in the very beginning.
    My newest baby had a much smoother path into the world (thank goodness!) and was a very early smiler (he smiled the sweetest smile at one week old, and no one believed me til he did it in front of them a few days later). Those smiles still make things so much easier.
    And, later down the line (just a week ago), Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child saved me from the brink after my son started getting into a bad sleep pattern (where he barely seemed to sleep at all). I know that book has saved a lot of moms’ sanity, because so many friends of mine give it to every new mom they know.
    Hang in there!!! It gets so much better! And you’ll look back and barely remember the difficulties of this time. It’s awesome how it’s mostly only the joy that sticks in your memory long-term.

  69. A long time good friend of mine gave me a card with the inscription ‘Less sleep. More dreams.’ in it.So simple, but the sentiment made me feel so good because I felt support from a friend that got the no sleep thing. Really. But also a message of hope and happiness. The perfect description of motherhood. Yes, there are sacrifices, but also great gains as well.
    So that, finding Ask Moxie (through another great friend who also gets it) and finally getting out of the house for regular walks!

  70. The first time around, it was randomly meeting a woman in a cafe who had an 8 month old and told me I should talk to any woman I see with a baby while I’m out for a walk (I met a lot of moms this way in Central Park!). She also hooked me up with a Moms group that turned out to be a godsend during my son’s colicky first three months.The second time around it was my midwife reading me the riot act over the phone after I got mastitis for the second time in two weeks– the message: take care of yourself first and don’t feel guilty about it for one second.
    The best thing my midwife said was actually at the 6 week visit. I was feeling guilty and ambivalent about hiring a baby sitter to come help me in the mornings a few times a week. My midwife said the number one factor in post-partum recovery was how much help a woman has; in our community, it is very, very common to see Asian grandparents coming for a six month visit after a woman has a baby (our closest playground is full of Chinese grandmas and grandpas with babies). My midwife said her patients who have that kind of help recover much quicker and have fewer problems than those who don’t. Aside from the fact I’m not Asian, no one in my family would be up for providing anything close to that kind of help (my Mom came for a week, took 3-4 hours of “me time” every day and told me 4 days after giving birth that it was time for me to go on a diet). So my midwife said, “Don’t feel guilty for one second about hiring help. Think of this babysitter as the Chinese grandma you don’t have.” I actually took it to heart and life has been much easier the past three weeks since the babysitter’s been helping out. My task now is to stop feeling obliged to accomplish something while she’s here and just give myself permission to go lie down and stare at the wall for an hour if I feel like it.

  71. Realising that I didn’t have to follow a routine with my newborn. I had the Gina Ford book and What to Expect in the First Year and they just made me feel bad. I thankfully bought a book when I was home in Australia by a no-nonsense woman who used to be a nurse and her advice was don’t even think about a routine until the baby is about 6 months, unless you see a routine happening already. She says in her opinion a baby is already following a routine you put her on, is unusually compliant or will resist and never follow it anyway, so chill out! I threw out the first two books, kept the third by my bed and just went with the flow. And by about 4 months we had a pretty strong routine happening because I was relaxed and tuned in to what my daughter wanted/needed and not distracted by a rigid routine that wasn’t working for either of us.

  72. I live over seas, and have no family and few friends here, so I needed support badly. My mum came to stay with me for about a month when my daughter was born. That was a total godsend – I didn’t feel that I struggled too much in those early weeks. When my mum finally went back home, at about 5 weeks, I was left to manage my high-need colicy baby on my own.The first time I got out the door, navigated the subway system and made it too a doctor’s appointment ON TIME, before 10 am without the baby screaming was a major victory for me. I really felt like supermum.
    Take courage in the small things!

  73. Moxie…thank you so much for this post. DS turns 4 weeks tomorrow and I am knee deep in the thick of it. This is kid #2 so I know theoretically that it gets better but when you’re in it it seems like it will go on forever. I just need to be gentler on myself and not have such high expectations.

  74. And you know what, reading over these comments I realized something. I recovered so much more quickly and easily from birth 2 than birth 1, and transitioned more smoothly into being a parent this second time. I always assumed it was because I had had a better birth & was more relaxed and confident. Now I’m realizing how much of that better experience was because I had so much company and help the second time. My toddler was in daycare all day (we wanted to preserve his routine and for me to spend time alone with baby), my mom was there, my brother came for a long stretch, a couple of friends visited. Night and day from birth 1 where we were just alone with the baby in a strange place with no support system.@ Bluebirdmama: We all need a Chinese grandma. Sometimes we have to hire one, and sometimes we have to be one for someone else.

  75. Funny because we actually have a Chinese grandma in the form of my MIL, but she’s not that helpful in that she wants to help, but doesn’t have that comforting, maternal quality, more the overbearing, worrywart quality. And honestly, even though I should feel grateful for any form of help she’s willing to provide, I sometimes just want them to bring food, drop it off and leave, but that would never fly. But that leads me to 2 pieces of advice (that I should probably take myself):1. Don’t try to be superwoman.
    2. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture in military settings; don’t underestimate its power wreak havoc on you physical and mental well-being.

  76. My first baby cried almost nonstop for 3 months. Right at the 4-week mark, one of my best friends took the baby so we could go have some dinner at a nearby restaurant. Her comment, “Even if she cries the whole time, she’ll be fine” was so liberating and helpful to me and that one hour was so restorative.

  77. My mom stayed with us the first few weeks, and when the baby was up at night I would feed him and then just hand him over – she would change him, rock him back to sleep, or talk to him if he wasn’t sleepy, and I would go back to bed.

  78. i was just actually thanking one of my best friends for the time when my littlest one was about a month old (and her brother 21 months) and i was on the phone nearly in tears about how overwhelmed i was and how i just didn’t know where to even start. her advice? “are you making sure you’re taking a shower every day? b/c that’s a good place to start, just work for now on doing what ever you need to do to make sure you can take a shower, by yourself, every day”. sometimes it’s just the little things…:)

  79. My parents were visiting at that point, and my dad asked about how often DS was eating (I was breastfeeding). I was anxious in general and hyped up about feeding and sleeping in particular, especially after the hospital weirdness, so I responded with a lot of defensiveness and particulars.And my dad, father of four, said, “Don’t worry. He’ll let you know when he’s hungry,” with a knowing look in his eye.
    It really wiped out a lot of worry. It became a mantra.

  80. i am six months pregnant with my first, and reading all these comments 1) totally made me tear up many times and 2) scared the bejesus out of me. my husband and i have no family within 1000 miles, and no close friends with kids or who really seem to like kids. i’m feeling a tad apoplectic that we’re not gonna be able to handle this without the proverbial village to help us out. any tips for the commmunity-less out there?

  81. @jessica,Congratulations on your forthcoming arrival! Pointless to tell a pregnant lady not to worry but I will still try.
    DH and I are older parents, as in we were told it would never happen and thanks to life events rather short on community. Also we had lots of friends who were and mostly, bar one couple ” child-free”.
    So we had no parents, no friends who were parents and we had newly moved. I also read with great trepidation about the village it takes and worried much about post natal depression.
    To make matters worse I did not get on with the NCT ante-natal group. It’s a national charity in the UK with local branches. The one I am near was and is a clique and the leader said ” Oh, Gawd, it’s a posh one” very loudly as I appeared for the first time. Not a beacon I thought of mummy friendships.
    I won’t lie and say having not much of a support network is the same as having a loving mother who cares for you or a great friend who sits on your sofa and listens, but it’s also not the end of the world and my three year old is a happy little girl, very social and charming despite not having grandparents and cousins.
    DH stayed home with me for the first two weeks, week three he went on a business trip and I coped and we’ve been fine as a family of three really.
    Once you’ve had the baby you’ll find doors opening and people smiling and lots of opportunities in the forms of groups and baby classes and there will be one that suits.
    We as in DD and I met other mummies and babies and we still go to playdates with the friends I made there.
    I had breast-feeding help and passed that one locally, and there were as I said lots of opportunities.
    My elderly friends all took to my baby, and neighbours who were always very stand-offish before melted and are very fond of my daughter and she of them.
    All of these people from the classes, the breast-feeding help, the neighbours were all strangers really before baby.
    The non parenting friends varied. I’d lie if I said that none broke up the friendship. With the others it’s not as close often, but friendly enough and with two close friends it’s a case of we don’t like kids but A. is fine and they are good with my daughter precisely because they don’t go into childcare mode.
    I do have a cleaner now and use qualified sitters now after slipping disks in my back
    and I should have done that earlier than this year.
    A baby is a good ice breaker and you’ll meet people guaranteed. And not be worse for the community not being there. A hamlet with three nice people beats a village with a hundred nasty ones. Hope some of that helped!

  82. God. J was born three weeks early so at 4 weeks it was still rough. I remember at 6 weeks it was still rough (it was our 3rd anniversary and J didn’t sleep all day and I was losing my mind). But at 4 weeks our pediatrician told us that this was the “unrewarding phase,” and that it would get better.God, that was nice to hear! I felt a little less guilty about – yes – resenting J for not being the full-term, easy baby I was expecting. And then at 8 weeks he started smiling, and it really did start to get better (and now he’s the cutest chubby-cheeked bunch of love ever, even if he does possibly have pinkeye right now).

  83. @Tina: I had that same reaction to the hand sanitizer! In his sleep-deprived state, my husband bought this awful lavender-scented stuff and months later I couldn’t handle it. It was PTSD-inducing or something.I should also mention, after reading the comments, how awesome my mom was. After my husband went back to work after 3 weeks, she came every day for the next two weeks. She would walk in, I would feed J and him to her, then go sleep for hours. I was worried she was annoyed or something but she always said “Go! We’re fine!” and she would hold J and read the paper while I slept and that was what got me through. I still call her after every doctor’s appointment to give her the latest weight/height updates (he’s 18 months old now).

  84. @ Jessica: I have loving parents who lived reasonably near by, but my mom only stayed for like 3 days after the baby was born, and my husband went right back to work almost immediately. I was living in a town I hated, where I knew no one, literally not a soul, had no support network, had no idea had to find people, and wasn’t staying long so it seemed pointless to get invested. I spent the first four weeks of my first baby’s life in a pretty significant amount of pain, lying on the sofa waiting for my husband to get home from work, and becoming obsessed with the internet. I know this sounds like – OMG is this stupid woman trying to make me feel better?!? Well it might not sound like it, but I am. The transition to parenthood wasn’t the smoothest, but my husband found me a great lactation consultant when I had BF problems, I found taking care of an infant easy (meaning, I felt like I understood how to do it, not that the sleep deprivation was easy to tolerate!), and I loved spending all day snuggled up with the baby in the house. My point: even when you don’t have the support you need, it will still be okay. Others have given great advice on getting support, but I just want to say it’s going to be okay. And it will get even better. The community will happen.

  85. Oh gosh, I remember those early days – I was an anxious mess. One of my best friends told me: “You will have days where you need to cry. And you call me when you have them.” I still felt like a bad mom and freak when I had those days (“Why can’t I enjoy this? What is my problem?”) but I called her anyway. She has three little ones, but she always answered. She would drive around the block over and over, and talk me down from the ledge and remind me that it gets better.I also remember having a warm, fuzzy bonding moment when DS and I fell asleep together on my bed in the late afternoon. He was six weeks old. I finally felt truly bonded. We enjoyed some peace and relaxation together, and my sense of having been invaded and being in conflict with him melted away. It was wonderful! Now my son is a toddler and it is SO MUCH FUN.
    We all love some parts and hate other parts. If newborn times aren’t for you (they sure were not for me), DON’T WORRY! It gets much more fun. Then maybe hard again, and then fun again. Eventually, the 4-week-old will seem more like a person and your sense of intuition and understanding will really kick in. Just hang in there and ask friends/family for support/distraction in the meantime.

  86. I was a wreck, sleep deprived and worried for one thing after another (jaundice, then weight gain, then breastfeeding) and couldn’t imagine going back to work in a month or so. A friend, who was 4 weeks ahead of me, looked at me, with very serious eyes, and said “It gets infinitely better as time goes on. At 4 weeks it took all I had to get dressed and out the door by noon. A month later, I’m working, I’m sleeping more, and nursing is down. It Gets Better.” I put faith in that.

  87. Isabel Marant can tell how you can end up being new, awesome, and also untroubled this approach identifies [url= pas cher[/url] precisely why the lady could very well make a few most-liked types for instance Lana in addition to Debra Shaw, Sasha Pivovarova, Daria Werbowy, Carmen Kass, Lily Donaldson, together with Karmen Pedaru boogie as they definitely designer inside odd Marant designs. This approach thirty-something out of Paris, france generally offers us any splash of color styles plus daring patterns in the layouts.Immediately after researching [url= workout online[/url] inside Paris, europe ,, Marant started to be the secretary to your highly-acclaimed Birdget Yorke while functioning located at Yorke & Cole. Afterward, this girl worked well meant for different giant wigs during the designer marketplace prefer, Martine Sitbon, along with Yohji Yamamoto.
    Most of your ex [url= workout review[/url]variations represent the woman heritage. Marant’s parents is a creator micro by means of Chinese nice even while their papa can be Dutch. The to start with versions was only for ready-to-wear stuff and yet after some time, your lover began to planning rings as well as other add-ons enjoy totes and also shoes or boots.

  88. Nie calkiem, iz formalnosci nie ma w owa strone wystarczajaco – koniec argument spersonalizowany i wykonanie morale za sprawa Internet, nie calkiem, ze gotowke pobieramy „od reki” w lancuchu slowo w slowo sekundy, owo jeszcze zdolamy zadysponowac ja siebie prosto do budynku!RRSO, alias Naturalna Jednoletnia Stawka Wyskokowa, paple o tym, jak duzo wynosi faktyczny cena pozyczki w miary roku, gdyby uwzglednimy kazdego panszczyzny a prowizje.
    sciskanie pasa to sprawa niezmiernie sporny w zupelnej Europie, o czym dostarcza chociazby sytuacja w Grecji zas coraz to wieksze rozruchy w tym kraju.
    Rzeczeni, jacy stwierdzili sie w mozolnym przeznaczeniu z chwilowki powinni wskutek tego zrezygnowac – nie jest owo droga ich trudow.
    Po trzecie: bez obslugi domowej zas niepozostalych bonusow

  89. Niepewna z popularniejszych oraz z wiekszym natezeniem kosztownych zasadzki, przegradzanych z wykorzystaniem spolce pozyczkowe, istnieje bledne kolo sposrod obsluga pokojowa.Pasztet tym bardziej natezony, ze lecz wciaz czymkolwiek sposrod nas wydola w mozolnej sprawie „zacisnac pasa” a zlikwidowac sposrod roslego rzadu istnienia.
    Wlasciwie natomiast nie istnieje, zas kredytobiorca, ktory wypierdala sposrod banku „sposrod kwitkiem” bez mala obecnie udaje sie az do jednostce pozabankowej – po pozyczke, mysl ostra.
    Nie tychze procentami (duet)pula przebywa…
    Glowny scheda niniejszej ustawy mowi, ze jednoroczne oprocentowanie debetow nie prawdopodobnie naruszac poczwornej wysokosci autostopy lombardowej, konstatowanej za sprawa NBP.

  90. Pozostajace banki hipnotyzuja pozyczkami w necie lub oklejaja plakatami reklamowymi nieosobiste komorce.Rozumie sie samo przez sie, zadluzenie gotowkowy zdolaja bractwo pod spodem adnotacje tylko te figurze, jakiego maja kunszt kredytowa.
    Niemniej niniejsza rodzaj kaptowania funduszy jest z wiekszym natezeniem syzyfowa, albowiem zada wiecej formalnosci i mit firmie platniczej zamyslu, na jaki dajemy srodki monetarnego.
    Roja o przeslicznym klanu, rezydencji, basenie z jacuzzi a saunie, bajecznym, nietrywialnym slubie i wedrowki poslubnej w odleglego obreby, natomiast nie maja wystarczajacych medykamentow, azeby te kazde rojenia przekuc w czyn.
    Po trzecie: bez obslugi pokojowej i przyjezdnych dodatkow
    pożyczka bez bik

  91. Najpopularniejszym przykladem jest tutaj serwis domowa, jaka przypuszczalnie smakowac pozyczkobiorce nawet kilkaset zlociutkich.Ozieble analizujac kondycje na rynku kredytowym, raz za razem mniejsza dostepnosc debetow nie winienem angazowac sie w jakikolwiek wazki postepowanie na jednostki pozabankowe.
    Najpoprawniej pewnie owo po pozyczkach pozabankowych.
    Co gorsza, komplet zwie na owo, iz w niedalekiej przyszlosci bedzie coraz dogorywajze.
    Szczegolnie, o ile w mgly ze umorzeniem wydatkow mozna postep plonow.
    kredyt bez bik

  92. Porozumienie a ochronaDostatek prywatnego schronienia ewentualnie odrebnej majetnosci jest skutkiem tego slowne.
    Bank perswadowal klientce, ze ze wzgledu na zastrzezenia calosciowego nie zdolal takich tresci delegowac mechanicznie.
    O pozyczke spolecznosciowa jest z trudem, jako ze inwestorzy nasuwaja od pozyczkobiorcow zaswiadczen natomiast koncentratow sposrod kont bankowych oraz wymierzaja nastepstwo niedyskretnych badan.
    Nie istnieje owo konflikt zbrojny na ogromna skale.
    chwilówki bez bik

  93. Zaprojektujmy, iz wezmiemy zadluzenie (lub pozyczke) na kwote 10 000 zlotych, oprocentowana na formacie 10% w kategorii roku.W takiej sprawie chwilowka denuncjuje sie stanowic unikalnym kompatybilnym podejsciem.
    Szczegolnie, iz na zbycie jest w tej chwili pelne bezdno ofert wierzytelnosci, jakie zdobedziemy ekspresowo natomiast bez zadnych formalnosci.
    Wady? Przede dowolnym bezdno formalnosci zas zawila postepowanie bankowa, co tlumaczy sie na owo, iz na kredyt gotowkowy trzeba bedzie troche poczekac.
    Owa malutka terminologiczna roznosc przynosi, iz w Polsce zadluzenie pozabankowy przypadkiem znajdowac sie rownolegle tanszy niz 24% zas drozszy niz 100%!
    chwilówka przez internet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *