Q&A: Clusternursing or otherwise awake from 6-10 am?

(Hey, is it just me, or is thundersnow/thunderhail a new phenomenon? I don't remember thunder and lightning accompanying freezing precipitation when I was a kid.)

Anonymous writes:

"why are mornings the hardest? i thought babies who cluster nursed usually did it at night?? my guy is 5 weeks old and sleeps 3 hours at a stretch at night, but then he's UP at 6 am and wants to be on and off and nurse until about 10 am. this is killing me. everyone says it will change in a week or two but the next hour is going to seem like an eternity. i need some perspective."

Hey, the good news is that you won't remember any of this, until someone else going through it mentions it and it all comes hurtling back into the front of your memory like a slap in the face.

The other good news is that if you can hang on another week there's a growth spurt at 6 weeks, and that spurt may change eating and sleeping (and pooping) patterns for your son. Lots and lots of kids become radically different feeders and sleepers after spurts (the big growth spurts are at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months, and then the rest blend in and we dont notice them as much).

I don't know that there's anything you can or should do about this. If he were older it might be worth tryig, but at this point really it is just about getting through the next 7-10 days until it changes.

My one suggestion is to see if there's some kind of breastfeeding support group you can go to. For one thing, it will get you out of the house and into fresh air (or sleet, depending on where you live). For another thing, some of the other women at the group will have some strange issues you hadn't even thought of, and that should help you feel both solidarity with other women in the same boat and relief that your issue is just going to fix itself with time.

Also, courage. It will get better. It will get waaaaaaaay better.

Readers: Tales of clusternursing, or awake stretches that killed you, or unusual nursing issues, or breastfeeding support groups, or taking your baby out into the sleet? Or anything you can even remember from when your child was 5 weeks old?

78 thoughts on “Q&A: Clusternursing or otherwise awake from 6-10 am?”

  1. 5 weeks nearly broke me. I swear it. At 5 weeks he would only sleep in 20 minute intervals and only in my arms if I rocked and bounced from side to side at the same time. For the entire 20 minutes. Then it was up to whine and fuss until the next 20 minutes came.7 weeks was our turning point – everything got magically better at 7 weeks. Sleeping 5 hours at a time at night, napping for up to 3 hours at a stretch during the day.
    Hang in there – it gets dramatically better soon.

  2. 5 weeks nearly broke me too. I remember my husband waking me on Sunday to tell me that the baby and I had both been sleeping for six hours and he had to wake me up to stress about it. The next seven days are a giant blur of non-stop nursing and glaring at my husband. I also pin my anxiety surge to that point as well.So yes, it gets better! My kid still eats like a horse, but she’s 3 and can get her own banana if she’s starving. Hang tight and go look for funny bloopers on youtube!

  3. My only suggestion would be a sling or wrap carrier all morning so that baby can nurse and hang out with low impact on mom – with just a little practice, mom should be able to stop, latch the little one and then carry on making breakfast, walking, sitting, folding laundry…Or, get books, your laptop, eReader, iPhone, DVDs, etc and nurse the little one in bed lying down while mama either naps or otherwise entertains herself.
    My oldest cluster fed for 2 years due to low supply. I fed him at breast, but never slept more than an hour or two at a go. It made me fat and crazy, but I just did the best I could at the time with the info I had. So, I know how frustrating frequent nursing ban be.
    Co-sleeping and slinging really, really helped. The slinging encouraged him to nurse more with no inconvenience to me and he slept between nursings. The science shows it encourages longer nursing and greater supply and more infant sleep.
    Good luck. It WILL change. I promise! Find a La Leche League meeting. There are usually multiple ones. Find other nursing moms who are also kind. The camaraderie may be just as helpful as any solutions or tips!

  4. Our little man cluster-fed in the middle of the night (12-5am). It sucked. We think he had his days and nights mixed up because of being in the nicu the first week. He now sleeps 12 hours at night (he started that at about 3 months, and he’s over 5 months now). Moral: hang in there because things will change!

  5. You will get through this! My answer to clusternursing was to get some good stuff recorded on the DVR, or borrow a whole season of a show from the Library (or Netflix), or get a stack of easy books and just commit to doing nothing except nursing. It’s amazing how much more sane I felt when I just gave into it. And it did pass. (And I watched all of the West Wing.) Of course, I only had one child, who knows what I’ll do when I have my second in September.

  6. I think it was about that week that I collapsed in our bed after nursing my daughter who we went through nearly four years of infertility treatments and several miscarriages and cried, “Why again did we want another baby…?!”Literally. I cried and cried.
    She’s going to be 3 years old soon. I miss that time with all my heart now.
    It really will get better. We promise.

  7. I think this right here is the point where moms either sort of surrender to this new way of life or find that they can’t. I was a mom who surrendered. My son used to clusterfeed at night, from about 6 PM to 10 PM. I remember thinking, “He can’t possibly still be hungry!” and I tried jiggling and walking and the pacifier (he wouldn’t even let me put it in his mouth, not once, not ever), passing him off to daddy, etc. Nothing made him happy but to nurse so I just said, “It is what it is” and got down to nursing. I would lie in bed with my husband and he would read aloud from David Sedaris books and we’d laugh or we’d watch movies together or talk. I just needed to trust that this was the process, it was normal and like you said, it would eventually pass. And it did and I am grateful that I stuck it out. Yes it was tough, but you also have to remember that your baby in the first 6 weeks is telling your body how much milk to make. By 6 weeks, your body is making all the milk your baby will ever need and at that point, the whole thing gets so much easier. A baby who was nursing for 45 minutes may be done in 15 or 20. It’s amazing the sort of switch that goes off at 6 weeks and everything seems to fall into place.I second Moxie’s idea of going to a LLL meeting or finding a local group for new moms.
    Also, keep in mind that ALL newborns cluster feed, even bottle fed babies. It’s normal. This page has some good tips for how to handle cluster feeding, because typically it coincides with your baby’s fussiest time of day and sometimes other soothing techniques can work http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/fussy-evening.html

  8. My baby was like that… Still is at 11 months. He’s a terrible sleeper and either cries out and returns to sleep or fully wakes several times a night. He gets distracted from nursing very easily, and has never been the kind of baby that you can sleep through a nursing session with. And, in the mornings, he likes to stop by for visits at the boob many, many times between 5 am and 9 am.My older daughter was an easy baby and I rarely felt stressed out with her, but my son is beautiful, loving, funny, healthy… and kind of a needy guy a lot of the time, especially when it comes to my boobs. I’m looking forward to weaning when he is over a year and eating well.
    I’m basically trying to prepare you for the long haul. I hope it’s not coming across as too obnoxious! My saving grace has been help, in the form of my mom/mother-in-law and a babysitter, and exercise. I could kind of take or leave exercise before my second baby, but now I feel like a million bucks after I exercise. Something about not being around my kids for an hour really pushes those endorphins to the max!
    Good luck–and congratulations! I do hope for your sake that this is just a growth spurt and your baby will chill out and give you a break very soon.

  9. I agree with Moxie, try to get to a breast feeding group. Someone might be going through the same thing right now and it’s nice to connect face to face with them. Or… someone might have just been through that and is now doing great and that will give you hope. Or…like Moxie said, someone might have a way bigger problem and it puts yours into perspective.I went through it twice and survived, although when you are in the thick of it it feels like it will never get better. Hang in there, it does.

  10. 5 weeks is when my husband and I had our big fight after having the baby. You’ve been hanging in there and you’re sleep deprived and constantly nursing and oh my god it’s hard. But at 7 weeks my baby started sleeping 6 hour stretches, but our clusterfeeding didn’t slow down until 12ish weeks. It’s frustrating, but find movies/books/people to bring you things. It gets so much better. Now my 9 month old can barely pay attention long enough to nurse and there’s no way I could have the tv on while he was nursing anyways – he’d be too distracted.

  11. Hey, the good news is that you won’t remember any of this, until someone else going through it mentions it and it all comes hurtling back into the front of your memory like a slap in the face.Hahaha!!! Love this!!!
    No advice from me cause it’s all a blur:) But sympathy and hugs!!

  12. One suggestion (that may or may not be helpful)… the baby may be sleepy and therefore fussy. It took me about 8 weeks to figure out that my kind needed to go back to sleep within an hour or two of waking. I was mistaking his tired fussing for wanting-to-nurse fussing. Of course, he was happy to nurse, but it wasn’t actually what he needed.At that point I started working hard to get him back to sleep at that point, rather than nursing.
    You know your baby best, so trash this suggestion if it feels off base. Hang in there – it’s true that you won’t remember these details! And thank goodness you found Moxie so early on!

  13. With my first, I didn’t really trust myself, my body, my baby… so clusterfeeding freaked me out, even though I had been told at support group that it was normal.With my second, I KNEW that it was normal and would pass. So I just sat on the sofa and watched TV while I nursed. I have since bought a Kindle and really, really wish I’d had it during that time. It is perfect for one-handed reading, which is what I need when nursing, particularly when nursing a tiny little baby.
    Hang in there, Moxie is right- it gets easier and then you basically forget all about it. Really.

  14. 5 – 7 weeks for both my kids was really hard because of the cluster-feeding. The big difference the second time ’round (which made it so much easier) was (a) I knew it was normal and would pass, (b) I had my older child around to remind me how quickly things would pass and how much I would miss the snuggly phase and holding a baby and (c) I had a Kindle which I highly recommend for any nursing mother because it is so easy to read one-handed. All of this is not to say that I didn’t want to jump out of my skin on occasion.As a data point: our clusterfeeding always seem to occur after 7 pm. On a good night it would wrap up around 11 p.m but mostly it went on until about 1 a.m.
    Honestly, we’re 4 months in with baby #2 and this is already fading from my mind. Hang in there!

  15. I can remember very few of the details, even though it was only 14 months ago, but around 5 weeks was when things got particularly hard. In the ensuing months I remember being frustrated by friends who told me things would get dramatically easier (at 6 weeks, or 8 weeks, or 3 months…). They never did get dramatically easier. Instead they just got gradually easier, as he grew up and as I learned that phases came and went pretty quickly and I wasn’t likely to set up a bad habit that I couldn’t later change.

  16. Oh – and another data point: Clusterfeeding for my son could happen at any time of the day or night. He routinely nursed every 1.5-2 hours, but sometimes it was even more often that that.

  17. Hang in there! My daughter is almost three months old now and it is *amazing* how much easier/better things are than at 5-6 weeks. She, too, slept great at night but was very alert and hungry all day. She would spend literally all day on me, nursing or sleeping. Luckily, I was actually able to realize it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been because my son (now 4) had colic and would never have slept or nursed peacefully in my arms all day as my daughter did (he just screamed for the first three months, which was hell). But still, even if the baby is basically happy to be on you all day, it’s still incredibly hard not to have one second to yourself for hours at a stretch.In addition to the baby eventually settling down, you will feel stronger and more recovered in a few weeks and better able to deal. For now, I hope you’re getting all the help you can– if you can afford it, outsource cleaning and laundry, get a mother’s helper in to hold the baby in the afternoon so you can shower/sleep/go lay in your bed and stare at the wall if you feel like it. Ask friends and relatives to help, too. (You’d be surprised how willing people will be to come over and hold the baby for an hour. The key is, you have to go lay down instead of socializing– that’ll just wear you out more.)
    My midwife said to me that the quality of a woman’s experience and speed of recovery during the newborn period is directly related to how much help she has. The women who have a Chinese grandma come move in for six months? They recover more quickly and are happier. I was feeling guilty/ambivalent about hiring help (despite being down w/ mastitis for the second time in three weeks), feeling like I should do it all myself, when my midwife said, “Listen– think of the mother’s helper as your Chinese grandmother (even if she is actually 22 year old former au-pair from Germany who you’re paying). Everyone needs help, no need to feel guilty about it.”
    I can’t tell you how right she was and how much better I’m doing now than I was at 5 weeks.

  18. @Bluebirdmama, Korean and Japanese grandmas too! My mom lives so far from us and she is a very stoic lady (never seen her cry). But she was close to tears on the phone when she said she failed me by not being “my slave,” during the six week post partum period. Hey! My hard ass mama wanted to be my slave! So, I’m not crazy for feeling like a crazy woman with a crazy baby.Oh my goodness, it gets better, better than better. You will get through this stronger and more empowered! Making it through very early motherhood changed me. I feel like a veterans of sorts. Because it was a bit of a war.

  19. Make sure there is someone there to take care of you while you feed the baby. Is someone feeding you and giving you a break to take a quick shower if you need it? That could make all the difference. And then remember there is nothing else you need to be doing but feed that baby? For me it was hard to just settle down and only bf – I felt like I had to do everything. In hindsight I should have hired some daytime help and stayed put. (Also – I had twins. Never felt like I had enough time to even breastfeed…)

  20. Those first three months are brutal! I remember well my son cluster nursing at that age, and it would stress me out so much because I would think he couldn’t possibly need to eat that often, but like someone else said, I finally just surrendered. And after a week or two it stopped and by 13 weeks he was sleeping 12 hours at night. They change SO much those first couple months – their schedule, their eating habits, etc. – so I would just do what you can to get by.That said, I would try putting him down for a nap right after you feed him in the morning – maybe after 5-10 minutes of playing. I learned eventually my son could only stay up for about 45 minutes before his first nap, and then he would often sleep for 2+ hours.

  21. I’m kind of laughing at the idea of being able to remember anything from when my son was 5 weeks old. For reference, he’s just over a year now and when I look back to those early days, they’re just a hazy veil of sleep deprivation and “wait, they sent me home with this baby with no quiz or anything first?!?”.Seriously though, clusterfeeds: brutal, 5 weeks: rough, not too long from then: it gets a lot better. The Nursing Mother’s Companion (a book I recommend to anyone thinking about breastfeeding) calls the first two months “the learning period” and then months 2-6 “the reward period”. I found that to be totally true for myself – around 8 weeks something just clicked and we went from wacky all-the-time, random, anywhere nursing to being a bit more in sync and predictable. I think 5 weeks was about the nadir of newborn days for me, honestly. It got a lot better after that.

  22. I’m at 9 weeks and it does get better to some extent, although we still are cluster feeding/snuggling/sleeping quite a bit. Each day is still different.After 6-7 weeks when your supply is really established and the growth spurt is over, if it’s still a problem you can try using the stroller/carseat to push the baby a bit longer – each of mine would go a bit longer if in motion, and after a few days would sort of have gotten used to stretching the feeding out a bit. Just be aware that this may *move* the cluster rather than eliminate it.
    I also wanted to say that as a long-time babywearer this: “My only suggestion would be a sling or wrap carrier all morning so that baby can nurse and hang out with low impact on mom – with just a little practice, mom should be able to stop, latch the little one and then carry on making breakfast, walking, sitting, folding laundry… ” – is great advice BUT has not been true for me with either child until the baby developed more head control, around four months for my older one. At least not without the risk of awfully badly cracked nipples.
    However I do use the wrap to provide sleep/contact time when not nursing. But I wanted to say that in case you try it now, it doesn’t work, and you think you’ll NEVER be able to nurse that way. It gets better.
    For myself I am catching up on Dexter, Big Love, and Mad Men and writing a book. Do not, however, look too closely at the corners of my home. 🙂

  23. My daughter has always been a short (5 to 10 minutes at a time) but frequent nurser, so I don’t know that I ever noticed the cluster feeding per se. I suspect, though, that it was around five weeks when, every time my mother-in-law came to visit, the most commonly heard phrase was “She’s hungry AGAIN?” Honestly, though, it didn’t occur to me to mind (the baby needing to nurse again – I minded my MIL’s comments a LOT) because that’s just the kind of baby she was. I was breast feeding on demand, and she demanded pretty much every 30 to 45 minutes in those early weeks. I think it helped a lot that she slept well at night, but I do remember feeling terribly guilty that I couldn’t do anything around the house during the day. Not frustrated, mind you – the truth is, I liked relaxing with my daughter, watching TV shows I never had time for before; she would catnap after a lot of nursings, and wouldn’t stay asleep if I put her down, so we pretty much lived on the couch – but I felt like I should be getting more done. I got over it by reminding myself that I had three jobs – feed the baby, feed myself, feed the cat. Anything else I accomplished was extra credit. And of course it all passed – she’s still a frequent nurser, even at 6 months, but I can’t believe there was ever a time where she’d let me sit through four episodes of Friday Night Lights!

  24. At the risk of everyone from the Moxie universe deciding to eject me forever from the group – I actually like(d) cluster-nursing. I look down at my baby, hold his little hand, watch TV, drink in the good nursing oxytocin (my #2 nursed so much I felt *drunk* on oxytocin for four months straight), surrender to the quiet closeness of it. But with #2 especially, I had a LOT of help, and a #1 in f-t daycare. And lest anyone feel like I should just shut it, I should add that darling #2 woke up 5-7 times a night for SIX MONTHS, just not at five weeks (he didn’t clusterfeed during the night time hours, but he didn’t sleep long stretches either). We thought we might die. Seriously. It brought our entire family to its knees.

  25. PS And when I say “my #2 nursed so much. . .’ what I mean is that the child has never volunteering de-latched himself in his life. Even in sleep he hangs on to that nipple for dear life. I have always had to release myself.

  26. I actually feel kind of nostalgic about the cluster feedings with my firstborn. Don’t get me wrong, at the time it drove me to distraction — I remember a particularly terrible morning shortly after my husband went back to work, when I called him up in tears, saying “I can’t do this!” I felt like a failure as a mom until I figured out it was normal.Plus I figured out pretty early that cluster feedings not only meant cuddle time with my little one, but also getting to read magazines and watch all eight seasons of The West Wing on DVD. In fact, for the first six weeks of my son’s life I was uncharacteristically well-informed of world events because I read every issue of the Economist cover to cover.
    (With number two, cluster feedings mean trying to balance the boppy on my lap while sitting on the floor and playing Legos with my three-year-old. A bit less relaxing, alas.)
    My only advice is when you’ve had it with the feeding, try putting the baby in a comfortable baby carrier and head out the door for a nice, long walk together. Hoping, of course, that you live somewhere where the weather and geography permit this. Sometimes what you need is a change of scenery for the next feeding, you know?
    My son’s feeding schedule started to even out at around three months, I think.
    And I agree with Moxie’s recommendation for a good breastfeeding support group!

  27. Yeahhhh I’m still a little too sleep deprived to remember anything clearly, but the feeding levels off. One of my friends told me to take a “nursing vacation”: let any older kids go to Granny’s or a friend’s house until dinner time, put somebody else in charge of feeding everyone else including you if possible, get a stack of books and movies, and settle into bed for a week or two. I didn’t get to do that as much as I would have liked with this baby, but I dozed through an awful lot of feedings anyway. Still do whenever possible!

  28. 5 weeks is when I e-mailed Moxie wondering if I’d ever be able to step away from the baby for more than a few seconds without the screaming starting. I still remember all the supportive comments and how much they helped. I don’t have much experience with cluster nursing, but I can say hang in there! It does get better, but it takes a few weeks and how it gets better depends on your baby. If anything, you start to find ways to cope with whatever the issue is. The suggestions here are great. You are doing an amazing job.

  29. I think the Chinese grandma is only helpful if it won’t stress you out to have her around for that long :)I actually found the weeks our family visited (weeks 3-5) to be MORE stressful because they wanted to spend all the non-feeding time with the baby. They didn’t seem to get that:
    1. I wanted to spend some non-nursing awake time with my own baby.
    2. Babies sleep most of the time
    3. I didn’t yet need a “date” with my husband – I kept feeling like they were trying to push me out the door when I was perfectly happy @ home with the baby.
    I remember one REALLY bad day where BabyT cried for what seemed like 7 hours straight, but that was at 12 weeks during her growth spurt. I fed her ALL.DAY.LONG and she was acting like it was never enough 🙁 That was my “what the heck have we done” moment. Fortunately we both made it through that day.
    I loved having an iPod Touch so I could surf the web, post to Facebook, etc while I nursed. A Kindle would have been great too.

  30. @RBelle – “She’s hungry AGAIN” used to drive me nuts too. Yes, she is. Leave me alone. Sigh…I guess I should cut some slack for relatives who were told to put their babies on a strict feeding schedule back in the day. But I was already sleep deprived so more bitchy than usual.

  31. @Lumberjack: Yes, although it could be any grandma of any ethnicity that’s willing to be truly helpful and supportive. So sweet about your Mom’s comment– my Mom said, literally, the opposite: “What, do you expect me to be your slave?” She also told me that I slept through the night at two weeks old, that I was on a strict schedule of bottles & sleep as a newborn and she helpfully mentioned at 4 days post partum it was time for me to go on a diet. This is why I need hired help :-)@Rbelle: “I felt like I should be getting more done. I got over it by reminding myself that I had three jobs – feed the baby, feed myself, feed the cat.” Amen.

  32. At 5 weeksish, cluster fed with #1 each night from 7-11 or so (after a couple of hours of heavy bouncing/soothing through the evening fussy period). #2 fed often throughout the day. My tactic was shower, fresh clothes, no bra (for 5-6 weeks post partum), put baby in Moby for the bulk of the day (often straight through until early afternoon, sit down to adjust wrap and nurse on demand. Screw trying to multitask (as in household chores- I did have to care for/play with my then 2 year old) while nursing!

  33. Oh, and my iPhone was an absolute luxury as far as feeling somewhat in touch with the rest of the world during those early weeks!

  34. I am with the nostalgic crowd – cluster feeding is a lovely way to rest. What else can you do? Nothing! I snoozed, read the entire Twilight series, listened to classical music I had never had time to listen to, and got quite good at thumb typing with one hand on my blackberry. Also, my baby did cluster fed quite frequently during growth spurts at al hours of the day and night until about 15 months, so I had to get used to it or I would have gone mad with frustration. We ended up having some lovely long days and nights once I gave into the baby and let her lead the way. Good luck, OP, you will make it and things will improve, I promise.

  35. Gosh reading these comments is really bringing it all back. Peanut and I had a rough time at 5 weeks… We sucked (ha!) at nursing for the first 8 weeks and my partner and I were basically estranged- except for the fact that we had a newborn in the house now.
    But It was the first of many times she taught me to give into the newborn phase. I fought it. Gosh did I fight it. Until my brain caught up to what was happening and I accepted that hunkering down for the 6-10pm cluster and then again for the 7-10am was the only way to go. The mornings mainly involved me dosing off into oxytocin bliss while she nursed away! 
    I was still crying everyday, but I learned to have plenty of water, a snack,  a book, a laptop and Buffy dvd’s close enough to make it through the next 45 min feed. 
    It got to the point that I became so used to the cluster-schedule, that when she started staying awake longer,  I was the one who still wanted to snuggle in bed all morning! Fought that too, but came around much quicker!
    Good luck to the OP and to all the new momma’s out there in the clusterfeeding vortex! 

  36. I honestly don’t remember 5 weeks. I’m sure it was hell in some way or another, but I still wish I could remember it. :(My son is almost 7 months old, and everything before yesterday is a blur, even those growth spurt/wonder weeks that felt like an eternity.
    This is lousy advice, but try to enjoy it — you can never get those moments back.

  37. One thing that helped me was to take a couple blankets and go to the mall. Park in a sorta half hidden spot, drape up, and nurse there. It alters the perspective so you don’t feel so trapped. Good luck!

  38. Our baby recently turned a year old and on the night of her birthday my husband and I sat in bed and looked at every old video and photo on his phone from those early days and I cried that she would never be that tiny again, even though those early weeks felt like HELL at the time. I doubted myself, my instincts, my ability as a mother… everything. But looking back, I hardly remember it.I wanted to claw people’s eyes out that told me to enjoy it and that it goes by so fast and they won’t be small forever blah blah blah but now I know EXACTLY what they are talking about!

  39. Oooooh, the sleeplessness… SHUDDER! I did not deal well with the sleeplessness. I remember one night, when my son was 5 weeks old, throwing the bedding across the room while yelling, “I guess we have no need for THIS anymore!!” Yeah, it was not pretty. In fact, most of my memories of the first six weeks involve throwing something: boppy, pumping equipment, pie crust… Now I’m trying to teach my preschooler not to throw things when he gets mad… the irony!

  40. I have seen lightening and thunder during a snowstorm once. It was really freaky.I’m a big fan of La Leche League meetings. There you can commiserate with other mothers (I often leave feeling so grateful I’m not going thru the rough times others are having), and you can be sure that you won’t find anyone undermining your commitment to breastfeed in any way.
    Until the cluster feeding changes, if you can, lay in bed or relax in someway, watch tv or read and remember this too shall pass.

  41. My baby girl is still cluster feeding at ten weeks. She does it in the evening, right when I’m hungry, worn out, trying to get dinner on the table, and dealing with a three-year-old who no longer naps but still needs to. It’s starting to get less intense, and as a second-time mom, I’m pretty laid back about it (and many other things).I wish I could sack out with movies and trashy mags like I did with my first daughter. I know many moms feel chained to their little cluster feeders sometimes (I certainly do), but this is the perfect opportunity to embrace your inner couch potato and not feel bad about it. You’re doing important work!
    As many have already said, LLL meetings are a great place to find support. If you can’t make it to a meeting, you can always call a leader.

  42. Oh, and I second what BlueBirdMama’s midwife says about getting extra help. I am having a dramatically better experience the second time around because of it. If you have friends saying “Let me know what I can do for you,” and you’re not sure what to say (I wasn’t), go to MealTrain.com and invite them to bring you food. It’s the best!

  43. DS is now 8 months. I would never in a trillion years have believed the conversation I had with my husband last night when I was at the 5 week mark:Me: “I bought [coworker] some little pink onsies for her shower. It made me miss when DS was that little.”
    DH: “Yeah, but remember how often he used to need to nurse?”
    Me: “Oh that wasn’t so bad…”
    If time travel was possible the me that was a mom of a 5 week old would have instantly appeared and punched me repeatedly in the head. Lord knows how that would affected the space time continuum…
    It stinks now. It really does. I can remember putting DS to bed and literally just laying with my head face down on the kitchen table and wanting to die. But it gets better, and once you pass the 6 month mark and have had so many different “phases” come and go each one gets so very much easier to deal with. It’s still hard in the moment, but you have the understanding that it will change if you hang in there.
    Definitely get a Kindle if you can swing it! I didn’t have one but I’m telling DH I want it as my push gift if #2 ever becomes a reality…

  44. Sideline nursing!! If you’re not already, it helps so much to be able to lay in bed and fall back asleep while nursing. Even better if you can get dad or someone else to go get the baby so you literally are barely awake/ aware. Our now 9 month old had a tough time with falling back asleep early in the morning when he was that age and was clearly still tired. I think my husband spent a lot of time with him between 5-8 am so I could get some rest. It did get better gradually. Good luck!

  45. I didn’t read many of the comments, so I’m sorry if this is a repeat.Can you set yourself up on the couch with snacks and water nearby and take the time for dvds, books, etc. and give into it? Your little one is doing his job – setting you up for this growth spurt that is coming. Breastfeeding is a supply and demand system and he is getting your body ready to make more milk!!!
    Do get out and about, too. A support group would do wonders. I found I liked the one at my hospital better than the la leche groups, there is also an awesome one at a mother’s boutique in town. you just have to find one where the personality of the leader and women fits yours. It makes a HUGE difference to have some support. if only to have people nearby. I found myself just enjoying listening to conversations and sitting on a couch nursing, instead of being alone in my house. it made the time alone so much easier.
    It will pass, and your baby will get so much more efficient, and so will you, and your supply will start to even out after 6 weeks toward the 12 week mark. so make sure to be kind to yourself and know it will pass!!! (and you may even miss it!)

  46. Five weeks was really horrible for us. M was five weeks early, so she spent the first two weeks in the NICU. Week 3 was the first week we spent as a family together at home. Week 4 husband went back to work and I discovered being a stay at home mom was the hardest job I’d ever had. M cluster fed from 5pm to 10pm, and would only sleep or nap if someone held her and suddenly I was the only person around to hold her. I thought I was going to go crazy being needed so much. Then came week 5. Mother in law had a massive stroke and was on life support for 2 days before we made the decision to let her go. She left the world on the date M had been due to arrive. I was an emotional sleep deprived wreck and thought nothing would ever be right again.But you keep going because that’s what you do, and you find out that time really does work wonders. (also Moby wraps, giving in to being couch bound, and a supportive community)

  47. I don’t have much to say, just hang in there, which I know sounds almost ridiculous. The sleep deprivation is painful, I know. I used to feel like I was going to fall asleep walking and drop my baby I was so tired. At five weeks, you feel like you can’t do it anymore. Like others have said, good news is, at some point, you won’t really remember it…too much. Good luck. Hope this phase passes soon :-).

  48. ha, like many others have said, 5 weeks suuuucked. And beyond. My first baby cluster nursed until like…8 months! I lived to tell the tale, but swore I would die along the way. You will live to tell the tale too. Keep holding on! What helped me with nursing was to set SMALL goals, like “I will do this one more week” (or one more day!) “and stop or re-evaluate if I can’t take it”. Then I’d reach the goal, set a new one, and so on. HOLD ON and good thoughts to you!!!!!!

  49. Oh Honey, I feel your pain. Here are the best pieces of advice I got about babies, all from my best friend.1. it is hard; you are not crazy, do whatever you can to make it easier or remotely bearable. whatever you’re going through will change eventually.
    2. if you can’t change it (ie- sleep habit, feeding habit, etc), accept it. it makes you less bitter. (this in response to my contstant moaning about my second child, who needs about 11 hours of sleep total and woke between 4-5am no matter what. good now, rough for a long, long time)
    3. do not make a happy baby happier
    good luck!

  50. I just thought of one more thing-this may sound insane, but my second one had what could be called colic, except that it was screaming pretty much around the clock. For the first 5 months she wanted to nurse A LOT and also would not be put down for naps. I had a 2 year old to care for as well, so I stuck her in a Bjorn (an old school super soft one) popped my nipple in her mouth while she was in there, and went about my day. she’d nurse, fall asleep and I’d get my boob back for 20 or 30 min, then she’d wake up, nurse again, get out for a tiny, tiny little while, commence screaming, and go back in. My back was a mess, but she would not sleep anywhere else, and was a milk maniac and while it totally sucked the big one, it got me through.
    I have a picture of me frying bacon with her in the bjorn, with a dishtowel over her head.
    I went in public like this, though at the time was too tired to care. The clerk at the local grocery still gives me a hard time about it.
    hang in there.

  51. I don’t remember much from 5 weeks, and that was only about 8 months ago. Eek.Anyway, at five weeks, my mum (who had been staying with us since my daughter’s birthday) went home, and I was alone with baby who was hatching a case of colic, overwhelmed by the responsibility baby care, up all night, alone all day, and feeling pretty fragile. My wonderful husband, in an effort to compensate for his insane work hours and my mother’s departure, came home with an iPad. And that made the cluster feeding / night nursing / 4 hour long screaming sessions WAY more enjoyable. (Does that make me a terribly materialistic person? Perhaps. But it also kept me from going over the edge, so.)
    My advice: much as Moxie said, do what ever it takes to get through the next week or two. Find what works for you and do it without feeling guilty. And I’d extend that to say do whatever it takes to get through the next couple of months. It all will fade into a romantically hazed blur in a while anyway.
    You’ll make it, you really will.
    And be kind to yourself. What you’re doing is really hard.

  52. My baby is now 7 months old. Believe it or not, I miss cluster feeding. There is nothing greater than just being with your little one, nursing them and doing nothing else. The key is, you have to give that time to yourselves and look at it as a chance to unwind, connect, or heck even watch a movie… Try not to think about stuff that has to get done, etc. Have your partner dote on you, and enjoy 🙂 The time goes all too quickly.

  53. I surrendered to cluster nursing. For me that meant spending the morning hours in bed or on the couch dozing and nursing and nursing and dozing and not really getting up for the day until 10 or noon. It wasn’t productive, but it was sort of pleasant, and I never felt all that sleep deprived, because I was napping through a lot of it, even when I wasn’t nursing lying down.

  54. I wonder how many plopee will/would also change their opinion after having children? I’ve been a fan of STFU, Parents for several years, but I am finding that some of the posts seem (to me) a bit anti-parents in general rather than just over-share though could well just be having become more sensitive to it, I’m well aware.I’d like to make a point about covering up while breastfeeding my son has always been a nightmare to feed discreetly and yanks any covering off his head, half the time. I don’t feel really happy about it but I’ve got used to nursing him as discreetly as I can and not caring if this isn’t as covered-up as I and the world would ideally like. I am not militant about it but I think it is hard to appreciate that all babies are different and some may not co-operate with this discretion! Also, if you don’t like it, you really don’t have to look, just like I don’t want to look at over-the-top PDAs or similar I don’t expect them to be banned, and I don’t understand why plopee can’t just look away. I know that’s not exactly what’s at stake here (I keep discussion of breastfeeding off Facebook), but it seems like this do it discreetly’ mantra is all over the place and implied in the criticisms of the over-sharing.

  55. Yawn. The narrator sundos like a smoker. The nurses look exhausted and/or overweight. The commentary is lacking in passion and frankly, I am not convinced. Perhaps nurses need to think about the statement nursing leadership has always focused on the patient and ask and how have nurses transformed healthcare in the US by doing that? Not so well, huh? Look at history nurses were able to accomplish a lot more when they served someone/something bigger than themselves.

  56. Dont do it,they do not tell you the truth,how bad it will be with all lazy administrators who stand aruond and talk,make phone calls and use the computer while the poor nurses work,work ,work >>>>>

  57. , there are laws that protect a moms right to btersafeeding in public. So go ahead and continue to be offended, it really makes no difference. In some States, you can even get a ticket for harassing a mom for btersafeeding in public or telling her to cover up (this makes me curious as to where Carrie lives, and hoping she makes a big scene in the wrong place or to the wrong persona one day) I am offended by a lot of things, but it is not my right to tell people what to do nor what not to do in public, especially when it is legal. I just turn away.

  58. Not yet is the answer to that- numebr two is here now so the fridge is restocked with chocolately goodness. I have started a 5 mile round walk to work in an attempt to shift the weight but my brain seems to think this means I can eat more chocolate to compensate. I genuinely think we need a 30 hour day to fit everything that needs doing in. We need to slow the earth down a bit

  59. You cannot bmoece a nurse online. Nursing school involves going to classes, doing skills labs and working in clinical settings to gain practical experience. Nursing is a hands on profession and cannot be learned on the computer. You need to attend an actual accredited nursing program.

  60. i’m not sure the chances but my scohol is probably the toughest i’ve heard to get in out of everyone’s.there’s not need for a TEAS exam for my scohol but the competition is ridiculous. i mean, people get turned away who have 3.9-4.0 GPAs. there are only 80 seats but more than 1500+ people apply.

  61. You can’t for initial liusrecne. There are requirements for seat time as well as skills labs and clinicals. Many people have kids and still manage to work it out. Get daycare and take out student loans (good debt, a wise investment in your future). In my graduating nursing class well over half of the 120 students were mothers, many single mothers. It’s a big committment, but it can be done if you put your mind to it and really want it badly enough.

  62. Jezeli wiemy, ze spoznimy sie ze splata kolejnej stopie, tegoz skontaktujmy sie sposrod firma pozyczkowa a zapowiedzmyz o tym fakcie. Stanowic moze uda sie w ow metoda uciec nader wartosciowych telefonow.W celu porownania, w poblizu kredycie zlotowkowym miesieczne zobowiazania wobec banku moga istniec nawet 65 odsetki miesiecznych dochodow, zatem gwoli postaci zarabiajacych niewiele zlotowka istnieje bezprecedensowa szansa na kredyt.
    W moim przeswiadczeniu tylko owo jest najwiekszym bykiem planu pozyczkowego w Polsce i kieruje w dlugi najwieksza czerede Lachow.
    Jednostce pozyczkowe nikogo natomiast nie klamia, niemniej prawdziwoscia jest, iz ich dzialalnie prawdopodobnie ozywiac kontrowersje.
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  64. swiadczyc owo moze o przemoznej milosci a zaufaniu na miarce rodzic – pociecha.Podliczajac calego wtracone sumpty oddzielnie, bez trudnosci sie w tym kazdym pogubic.
    Z jakiej przyczyny z tej przyczyny nie zaimplementowac ich w rutyny natomiast chociaz nie posmakowac przerobic swojego istnienia?
    Pozostajacego banki neca wierzytelnosciami w necie lub oklejaja plakatami reklamowymi autorskiego komorce.
    Bez wzgledu od chwili niniejszego pula przeglada, jakie istnieje ryzyko, iz delikwent kredytu nie splaci.

  65. Sumpty, alias na co kierowac adnotacjeStrach zas brak zaufania az do lacznie, co internetowe, owo nastepujacy powod gwoli jakiego pozyczki spolecznosciowe nie przebily sie w Polsce.
    Chodza sposrod wodzem w smogach, nie kwestia o przyszlosci, oraz zyja terazniejszoscia.
    W takiej sprawie pierwsze danie co musimy zdzialac to wyszukac kogos, kto proponuje osobiste pieniadze az do wydzierzawienia. Wyszukujemy z tej przyczyny oznajmienia „kobiet pozyczke” oraz chodzimy do negocjacji.
    probowany istnieje w infrastruktury Biura Wiedzy Kredytowej – gdyby w przeszlosci stopie nieznanych kredytow splacal z opoznieniem, inaczej nie jest az do konca pewnym delikwentem, z supertanim kredytem przypadkiem sie pozegnac.
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  66. Grzech lezy po paginy pozyczkobiorcow, albowiem to przeciez pozyczkobiorcy – majac calkowita intencjonalnosc swego postepowania – godza sie na takie zas nie nieodrebne zadatek pozyczki.Nader multum tresci bedzie takze wolno dochrapac sie ze pagin internetowych bankow, co wydaje sie istniec poprawnym motywem do zagladania na takie gablotce tudziez kazdy ma obowiazek byc zainteresowany ich zabieganiem.
    TUDZIEz no tak – mozna oznajmic, ze obie wydolnosci pozyczek maja swoje uzywanie natomiast sa pomocnego na jarmarku.
    Wierzytelnosci poufnego za posrednictwem Siec
    Gdy uniwersalnie niewatpliwie, pozyczkobiorcy wymiotuja uwage przede wszystkim na oprocentowanie chwilowki.
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  67. W pojedynke traktuje, iz jakas z rekomendacyj istnieje… Siec. Pozyczki spolecznosciowe owo najdoskonalsza gatunek owego, co zdolamy okreslic wierzytelnoscia z wykorzystaniem Net.I w przypadku wierzytelnosci pozabankowych? Odkad 80 az do nawet 1000 odsetek!
    Plec nadobna wpisze na zeszyt, dzien jutrzejszy nadgonie – W tym momencie w tej chwili o mrowie mniej cyklicznie matce konfrontacje uslyszec to wyrazenie w marketach, tymczasem w het mniej niedekoracyjnych zakamarkach Polszczyzna w pozniejszym cugu jeszcze mozliwe jest stwierdzenie to podsluchac.
    Parabanki nadzwyczaj czesto staraja sie nam „wmowic” rozmaitego modela dodatki, ktore w znacznym stopniu przedrazaja propozycje pozyczki, obok, ze jednostki o doplywowych sumptach cyklicznie „zapominaja” nas zapowiedziec.
    Co prawdziwosc twardnieje sie to sposrod pewnymi uciazliwosciami (gornolotna rata prawdopodobnie okroic na jeden czas stan istnienia), jakkolwiek w celu kilku tysiecy niezlociutkich chyba powinno sie.
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