Goals and/or Changes for 2011

Here are mine:

Continue my focus on consistency with exercise and healthy eating, and let the chips fall where they may. Reframing my goals to be about what I do instead of the results (that I don't necessarily control) has made it way easier just to put on my shoes and press Play on the DVD.

Continue thinking and working out the messiness, which I'm beginning to think it an inability to proritize spatially. Last year I got past feeling hopeless and blaming myself. This year maybe I'll come up with a solid way to manage my space that doesn't feel overwhelming.

Spend more time listening to my children. I'm pretty good at it already, but the older they get the more it feels listening is my main job.

Re-energize a regular prayer practice. When I was going through the divorce I started praying in a connected way, and I'd like to work my way back to that regular conversation with God.

Come up with a plan to pay off my divorce debt. Now that I know I can pay my rent every month it's time to focus on getting debt-free.

Now, for some SMART* goals:

I will clean off my desk at work every Wednesday at 3 pm. If I'm not in the office on a Wednesday, I'll roll it over to the next week.

Cook and bring lunch to work 4 days a week.

Eat 6 servings of vegetables 6 days a week.

Only one impulse buy per grocery store trip.

 

Now you!

 

* SMART goals are a corporate thing. It means you make your goal Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Reasonable, and Time-Based. If you haven't being doing SMART goals and you switch to doing them this way it makes a huuuuge difference in your ability to get stuff done and know that you really got it done.

58 thoughts on “Goals and/or Changes for 2011”

  1. I’m going to have more $ex because it is fun and I’m not doing *it* nearly enough these days.Oh yeah, and some mature grown-up lady stuff about food, exercise, and organization.
    But mainly the first one. 🙂

  2. I want to start DOING things that need to be done even if I don’t like to instead of stewing about them and dreading them. I don’t know how to turn that into a SMART goal though.

  3. This last year has been all about survival (my kids turned 1 and 3 in August, so I spent much of the year with a baby and a 2 year old).This year I want to focus on taking better care of myself, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Physically, I want to focus on continued regular changes in eating healthier and exercising. Emotionally, I need to focus on being kinder and more forigiving to myself and not being so consumed with shame and guilt. Spiritually, I want to focus on having a spiritual connection and some regular introspection.
    I also want to have more focus as a mom. As I said, the last year has been all about survival. Not sure I had much of a game plan, just fought to get through the days.
    SMART goals, I’ll have to think about a few of those. One will definitely involve drinking more water (and hopefully less diet coke, which I call my ‘coping skill.’). I think I will focus on drinking 6 to start glasses of water daily.

  4. I had that rhymes with hecks goal last year. It didn’t work out so well. Maybe I should do that again.I’d like to run five 5k (or longer) races this year. (No time goal, no speed goal, just run them.)
    I want to take a Coast Guard safe boating course in 2011. I got CPR certfied as my health and safety goal for 2010, so it’s time to move onto something else.
    I want to dontate blood twice in 2011. Before kids, I did it every 8 weeks like clockwork. It’s time to get back in the habit.
    I plan to finish growing my hair out and dontate it to make wigs for women with cancer. I’ve done it twice before, so I think I can do it. I am so close but I just want this hair gone off of me. If I can hold out another two months, I can do it.

  5. I sat down last night to work out a format for working on goals in 2011, but now I’ll have to go back with the SMART goals in mind…I have so many things that desperately need change and effort that I’ve spent most of this year immobilized not knowing where to begin. I filed them all under three main areas – Health and Vitality, Career and Finances, and Improving Family Life (which includes housekeeping as well as setting schedules and getting better at going on dates with DH).
    The list of actual things is huge and overwhelming. But it is all very important and interconnected. For instance, lots of the stuff in the last two categories don’t have a shot unless I get my health and vitality under control, but at this stage they also cannot wait until I am slim and feel amazing either.
    I’m breaking the year up into small bite sized bits, setting one to three goals per category, and giving myself a week off here and there to evaluate, redirect, and set new goals.
    Here’s hoping that this time next year I’m posting about what a great year 2011 was for me and my family.

  6. @Leah – You can turn that into a SMART goal like this: I will do one ‘chore’ every day before I can go to bed (and you can make that chore as big or as small as you want) OR I will do each thing that I hate doing that needs to be done within X hours or days of when I notice that it needs to be done OR I will do all the crap jobs on Tuesday mornings from 8 to 12 and if they don’t all get done, they go to the next week.

  7. @Leah – I do the same thing. My answer is to set a goal of spending 10 minutes “fighting the dread wars”. Lots of times I find that I end up doing more than 10 minutes, but those first ten are the hardest.

  8. My goals:I will breastfeed DD for a year.
    I am starting my own firm this year so sticking to my budget and working my business plan are my career goals.
    I am going to do one nice and unexpected thing for my husband every week – he is so good to me.
    Once a week I am going to take DS on an outing (just the two of us).
    Also once a week, I am going to do a 15 minute de-clutter (a la Fly Lady).
    I need to start going back to church but I have some reluctance about committing to once a week because I think that is just setting myself up to fail. Maybe once a month – I have to think about that.

  9. In addition to setting corporate goals, SMART goal setting is a key technique in psychotherapy. It is important for goals to be action-oriented, and not just conceptual.Also, in terms of New Year’s resolutions, it is important to take action right now. So, if you are vowing to exercise more, exercise today – December 31st. If you put it off until January, you are telling yourself that it can wait.
    As an aside, has anyone ever noticed that the gym is so crowded in January/February, but dead by November?

  10. My goals for this year:-Set up once a week date nights with DH, weather at home or if we go out.
    -Sleep train (again), wean, and potty training will prob happen as daycare finds he’s ready.
    -Excercise 3x per week: either yoga live stream at home and/or the gym at work. I may add the additional goal of running with the dog on our walks. If I can get over the hump of starting, this could work out really well: the dog & I get more exercise, there’s no extra thing to work into my schedule as dog walking is already in, and we end up with a more relaxed dog who recently has gotten much more protective of DS around other dogs.
    -Update my CV by the end of Jan and potfolio by end Feb. Make the moves necessary to finding a new job.
    -carve out me time at least 1x per week. Ihave a lot of pending plans for dinner with friends, so this should get off to the right start.

  11. Use the techniques I already know for worry release, more often.Support my sister in her healing without getting dragged into family dynamics that are really unhealthy for me.
    Give Mouse a strong base of love and support for this really growth and independence oriented year.
    Interview a couple of places (not necessarily to change jobs right away, but to explore.)
    Spend more couple time with Mr. C – this year at work was insane for both of us. We really enjoyed the date time we had, but we need more.
    Take more time off as a family. I need to book weeks in now. This year we had 6 days of vacation, aside from this week. So total of 11.
    Find time for one full yoga session per week.
    …goodness, that seems like enough already, but there’s more I want to do. Teach Mouse to sew, learn myself, expand my rotation of weekday dinners, speak at a bigger conference, publish an article.
    Yeah.
    Side note @the milliner: I wrote a weaning book for Mouse when she was two – cute little thing in verse. Let me know if you’d like the file. 🙂

  12. I go back to work on Tuesday after a full year off on maternity leave. I got a promotion, and it’s in an area that I find really interesting, but I know it will also be high stress. For me, for a job to be rewarding it has to be challenging, and if its challenging that means there’s stress involved. On top of that I know I will be dealing with some working-mommy-guilt (I am guilt-prone, even though I know it does me no good) and time management issues.So, my goal (or should I say hope?) for 2010 is to find balance. On the recommendation of a regular reader here (Cloud) I am going to read “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think”. I also need to make time for myself a priority, which I know from experience is hard when I’m working. I am going to go to yoga once a week, as a start.
    And I want to find a babysitter who is not my mom or my sister. A paid one, who can come to our house and babysit so my husband and I can go on dates again with some sort of regularity and without feeling guilty about dumping the kids on Grandma yet again. We need that. But I have this fear of something awful happening to my children in the hands of some teenager. I have no idea where to start or look for an occassional babysitter who is not just the closest 13 year old. I want like an 18 year old student or something. But I don’t know any. And don’t know where to find one.
    I know these aren’t really SMART goals except for the weekly yoga. But its a start.

  13. @Melba – we’ve found really good babysitters advertising on Craig’s List (being really specific with what we were looking for). We’ve found really good university students that way. I am sure you wouldn’t have any problem finding good U of A students. Does U of A have an Early Childhood Education Program? If so, I would contact the director and ask him/her to notify her students of an opportunity to make a few extra bucks.

  14. I’m due any day now with baby number two. Based on my experience with colicky baby #1 (now a delightful almost four year old), my goals this time around are as follows:1. I will cut myself waaaaaaay more slack during the early months. This means: being more relaxed about baby’s sleep, focusing more on my sleep, letting peripheral things (housework, outside obligations) slide rather than attempting to keep everything up to the usual level.
    2. I will be conscious of the upheaval the baby is causing for DS and DH and cut us ALL more slack.
    3. When I feel ready, I will get back to running (already have an awesome baby jogger from days w/ DS). I will not worry about speed or distance or train for races, just put on the shoes and get out there 3-4 x per week. Specifically, I’d like to run 3-5 miles, 3-4 times per week by the time the baby is six months old (June). Anything more is gravy.
    4. I will institute weekly date night w/ DH, weekly family meeting for us all and some 1-1 time for me and my son. Is 20 min. daily 1-1 w/ DS (who is in preschool 5 days a week) too ambitious or not enough? Anyone have thoughts on this?
    5. I will ease back into dissertation writing no later than July. Specifically, I will go to my office on campus at least 2x per week, set up meetings with my advisor once every two weeks and produce 5 pages of written material (whether it is dissertation pages, notes, programming code, grant applications, what have you) every week by the end of July. By September I will increase this to 4 x per week in the office and at least 20 hours of hard core productive time (i.e. not checking e-mails or chatting with office mates or going to seminars unrelated to my topic). By the end of 2011, I will be on track to finish & graduate by spring 2012.

  15. Gratitude and appreciation are my focus for 2011. I feel like in 2010 I took far more than I gave back to my family and friends, especially family. I was pregnant, tired, and anxious, and my husband and mother-in-law more than stepped up to the plate to take care of me (even more than they do usually), and I feel like I didn’t properly appreciate that (not that they would say that, but that’s just how generous they are). I also didn’t properly appreciate my son — I spent too much time worrying about the issue du jour (potty training, school readiness, the last tantrum) and not enough time just appreciating the wonderful little guy he is, and marveling at how much he’s grown.Now that my daughter is finally here and I’m taking a nine month leave from work to stay home with both kids, it’s my turn to give. First, I’ve got to find new patience and physical and emotional energy to be a good parent to two kids, an infant and a three-year-old, especially when it’s a solo gig on weekday afternoons.
    I tend to get anchored in the negative, especially when I’m sleep-deprived. It does no one any good, least of all me. So I will do my best to stay realistically positive, and not try to control things I can’t.
    As far as SMART goals go, I’ll go for:
    – Get back in the groove in my quest for a French driver’s license. As in, resume regular practice sessions by the end of January.
    – Do two involved activities with my son per week, like a recipe we cook together or an outing in town or the like. I like Legos, don’t get me wrong, but we have more fun when we can do something a little more “out of the box.”

  16. 1. I want to engage more with my kids when we’re home. I often find myself doing tasks that don’t need to be done in that moment, and while they’re young enough to want to engage with me, I should engage with them.2. I want to work on my friendships. As a single mom who has the kids 98% of the time, it’s easy for me to let things slide because I’m busy or tired (or both). On my night off I would like to make more of an effort to connect with my friends, and not just rely on the phone and facebook to keep in touch.
    3. I want to eat better and exercise more. Instead of eliminating foods, I’d rather just add foods: more veggies and more fish. I’d like to exercise for 40 minutes 4x per week. It requires me to throw on my clothes and just do it, but it’s not an unreasonable amount of time or days, so I need to just shut up and do it.
    4. I want to put more effort into my appearance. I want to dress nicely, fix my hair and makeup and spend less time in my sweatpants. If I do well on #3 I will be motivated to do well on #4.
    5. I want to clean one thing around my house per day. Big or small, one chore will get done. I’m not a neat freak, but I realize that it’s my job to create a welcoming home for my kids – one where they will be comfortable bringing friends over after school or on weekends, and it needs to be clean enough for them to do that. “Clean enough” is good enough for me. That mostly means decluttering before bed and giving the bathrooms a good swipe once a week and making sure there is not (too much) food on the floor.
    Happy new year everyone. I hope 2011 is a happy and healthy year for us all.

  17. 1. Get rid of 20 bags of “stuff”…some can be donated but a lot needs to just be tossed and out of my house.2. Sell or donate the remaining newborn baby gear. We are DONE building our family so I need to let this “stuff” go.
    3. Lose 30 pounds. And to do so, I need to be better about finding time to exercise.
    4. Pay off credit card debt. We did it once and there isn’t much debt now but we have left several months accumulate.
    5. Spend more time exploring our state. We live in a beautiful place (CO) and have only seen a fraction of the beauty. We have a 7 day road trip planned for the summer and I can’t wait!

  18. I have a bunch of goals for the year:1. Eat two meatless dinners a week.
    2. Run my first 10K race in May.
    3. Be an enlightened witness for my 12-year-old neice, who has a tenuous family situation. (Thanks Moxieites for bringing up this term and describing the role. It is exactly the info I needed.)
    4. Get a job sometime in ’11.
    5.Wait three seconds in silence after my kids do something really bad and see if that can help reduce my use of the super-mean mommy yell.
    Happy New Year everyone!

  19. @BlueBirdMama – We just welcomed #2 (six weeks old this weekend) after a colicky #1 (now 3.5) who is also in preschool 5 days per week (thank god). I have struggled finding the one-on-one time with DS and have found that what works best for us is to keep bedtime (stories and songs) as my responsibility. This has worked out to 20 – 30 mins a day. Where possible, I try to get #2 down for a nap during this time, or DH takes her during this time. On the couple of occasions when DH has not been available, I nurse her and then put her down. I won’t let her cry for 20 minutes, but I will let her cry for 2 minutes while I read a story because I’m trying to be really firm about protecting the time for DS and I don’t think it’s fair that he ALWAYS has to be the one to wait. This is how I’ve discovered that DD is a tension releaser – she’ll cry for a few minutes and just when I’ve put the book down and told DS I have to check on DD and I’ll be right back – I discover that DD has fallen asleep.Good luck with #2. Ours is not colicky and so much easier than #1 was at the same age. Wishing the same for you.

  20. @Jac– thank you! I am def hoping for a non-colicky baby this time, but I know lightning does sometimes strike twice. Good point about firmly protecting time for the older one!

  21. @BlueBird: I had a LOT of struggles with #1’s sleep, and made the same resolution when #2 came along, and it was *so much better*! #2 doesn’t sleep that well at night, but just relaxing about the whole thing helped me enjoy his early months so much more than poor #1. I also worked hard to make sure my first child knew he was important to me, and every time he requested that I put the baby down and pay attention to him, I did. I was lucky to have a LOT of help in the baby’s first months, which freed me up to give my toddler the attention he needed.My resolutions:
    #1: More time with my husband.
    #2: Get back into physical life – walking and biking and yoga (also included in this: more me time)
    #3: Find a solution to the whole “my husband works 350 miles from where I work” problem
    #4: Deal with the incredible stress I’ll be confronting this spring with some semblance of grace, and not take it out on my family.
    #5: Potty train, big boy bed, getting rid of that horrid paci for the toddler

  22. Oh, those things that aren’t on the list. I have instituted a strict “no more than two items that aren’t on the list” rule, and if I *really* need whatever, something else leaves the cart. Result: much better lists.I’m getting serious about not wasting. I cleared a lot of my pantry for a food bank and stocked up on Aid for Friends tins (local group that collects frozen leftovers for the homebound). I have a huge pile for Freecycle when my kids are back at school and I have the time to write the listings. And I’m trying to “SMART” my relationship with my academic mentee…on the one hand, I don’t want to take up his homework time. But I also don’t want to let weeks slip away without connection.
    Thanks for all the inspiration this year!
    (And if you want more inspiration: check out http://www.resolution11.org and add your own!)

  23. @BlueBirdMamaDD(going on 4)is an Epifany baby too. Great day to have a baby! She gets a holiday and all here in Italy.
    OK goals.
    Run a marathon.
    Figure out what I’m STILL allergic/intolerant too. If it’s an allergy, it shouldn’t be too hard as it’ll come up in a blood test. Intolerance? Much more difficult.
    Stop taking out my anger about things unrelated to my husband, on my husband.
    Stop ‘threatening’ kids with punishment if I can’t follow thru ( eg. we’ll get off this plane right now if you don’t stop shouting!)

  24. @charisse, I already have your weaning book. You posted about it a while ago and I asked for it then. I’ll be cracking that baby open early in 2011! 🙂 Thanks for thinking of me.

  25. my goals1) get back into exercise. Before baby I was an avid spinner and yoga practitioner. I want to start slowly, maybe one class each a week.
    2) become more organized. This is a must as DH is going to stay home with DD for 6 months (he’s taking a sabbatical from work) and he does NOT cook, so meal planning will be a priority!
    3) Carve out some time for my friends (mostly single and childless). I’ve really let this one go as DD is still nursing and not sleeping through the night, and won’t take a bottle, so I passed up a lot of parties and social events this year.
    4) Wean and start potty training(closer to the end of the year).
    5) Make a career decision…after DH’s sabbatical we’ll see what happens. If he loves being at home he can stay but I’ve got to get out of my current job (I’m already looking for a new one). If he hates it, he’s the one that’s got to look for a new job and I’ll stay home.
    6) Declutter. The entire house.

  26. My main goal is to enjoy at least one thing wholeheartedly each day – I tend to get waaay too stressed out about stuff (classic type-A).I want to try to cultivate patience a bit more.
    I hope to enjoy my new baby and my preschooler, and STILL have time to spend with my Husband – not sure how that will work yet. (@Jac – I’m with you -I have a 3.5 year old and an 8 week old)
    Keep up exercise routine.
    Tell at least one person each day that I appreciate them in my life.
    Happy New Year!

  27. I just joined weight watchers online a few days ago because I was ready, so if any of you Moxites are out there and want to connect, let me know. My username there is araman.So obviously in 2011 my resolution is to get this weight thing under control, but I’m not setting a weight goal.
    Rather, I will follow the program and track everything I eat for 3 months to start, and walk on our (poor, lonely, unused) treadmill at least 4x a week during this gloomy wet grey winter.
    As much as I’m itching to set 17 different goals, I think I need to stick to just that one.
    Good luck everyone!!

  28. I am going to do some incremental work every single day (that I’m not out of town) on my most ambitious quilt project ever. It’s for a gift so I’m also making a photojournal to go with it. Some days’ job can just be taking and uploading photos to the album. I’m sure this will take me all year, but I could be wrong–maybe with a concerted effort it will get done sooner. I’ve never been so jazzed about a project in my life. I’m also telling everyone who will listen about this project.

  29. What I will work on in 2011:1. Lose 40 pounds (the rest of the baby and miscarriage depression weight and then some).
    2. Get my binge eating disorder under control. I start seeing a specialist on Tuesday. I am beyond relieved that this appointment is set.
    3. Eat a lot less meat and more organic, home prepared meals.
    4. A few weekend trips – with just me and my DH.
    5. Climb 5.10’s again. Hell, more climbing in general.
    I’m sure there is more. But I feel like that’s enough to work on for this year.
    Happy New Year ladies! Hope this next year is wonderful for you and and your families. xoxo

  30. @Holly, I haven’t climbed since just before I got pregnant with DS (now 2.5), and it was even a while before that, that I was climing 5.10’s. But, yeah! More climbing in 2011! Just before the holidays we went to fit DS in a body harness. He wasn’t that into it, but I figure it’s just a matter of time. Once we can do it as a family, I figure it will be easier to climb more.

  31. @milliner – we got our DS (he’ll be 2 in February) up on a wall in his harness a couple days ago. He loved it once he was up! I’m climbing top rope or cleaning 5.8′-9’s. Once I lose at least 20 pounds, I’m hoping I’ll get back to those 5.10’s. Good luck! Have a great year with your family!

  32. What I Will Try To Do This Year…- Try to be a bit more zen. Try to finish things I start.
    – Try to embrace the fact that I’m a mother of two tiny ones and that this leaves time for pretty much nothing (note to self – stop both marvelling and resenting all those women who can do amazing crafts and still have small children AND seemingly stay sane.)
    – Try for more quality time with my almost-three-year-old. She’s sometimes getting lost in the new baby time vortex. I need more patience where she is concerned as well.
    – Plan meals properly. Reclaim the weekly shopping from my partner, or equip him with better lists to take along.
    – Think positively about my situation. So what if we have no money and our current project is three years behind and how-the-hell-will-we-finish-it-oh-god? POSITIVE!
    – Get fit. Buy an exercise bike to use at home, and keep doing my back exercises. Get on top of my oestrogen issues.
    The end.

  33. The first night of 2011 has blindsided me with a 14-month-old’s screamfest from midnight till 3:30… wow, I wasn’t prepared for that. So I don’t even know where to start on resolutions.I guess I just want to trust myself more and truly believe that “this too will pass” instead of feeling like I’m screwing up my kid by boobing her to sleep, cosleeping, and not letting her CIO.
    My yearly resolution is to find more peace of mind. Hopefully I can focus on that a little more this year.

  34. Laugh with my husband and share a real kiss at least once a day. Have sex at least twice a week.Calculate my net worth on the first day of each month.
    Read one book a month, and write it down in my “books I’ve read” journal.
    Print the best of the 3+ years’ worth of digital family photos I have stored on my computer (that are very fortunately backed up). Select a few special ones to frame and to give to relatives – by March 1.
    On a related note, finish baby books for my 2 kids (argh! I’m so not a scrapbooker) by April 1.
    Get my closet organized so that each and every item in there is actually something that is wearable right now.
    Write my only remaining grandparent one letter per month.

  35. @hush – I love the last one on your list. I lost all of my grandparents by the time I was 12 and my son only has one living grandparent. I am envious of people that still have grandparents.

  36. Cheers everyone! My goals for this new year are:1. Use the white strips my mom sent me, twice a day.
    2. Pump at least twice a day on the days I stay home so I can make a freezer stash. Since I’ve started working again, my husband did not have enough milk for our son… I can’t let that happen again.
    3. Be more romantic with my husband for sure.
    4. On work days, treat myself to at least one nice thing, like a movie, long bath, hair appointment, good, long meal. (I work out of town overnighters a lot).
    Hope everyone’s new year has gotten off to a Wonderful start. Here’s to better times, to being grateful for what we have, to more sleep, and good health and safety for our families!

  37. I love reading these lists!- Work on patience w/ 5 y.o. How can I expect her to talk respectfully to me if I’m yelling at her all the time?
    – Be kinder, less snappish to wonderful DH.
    – Find creative and low-stress ways to reintroduce exercise/physical activity into my life (e.g., getting off the T a stop or 2 early and walking the rest of the way). Being active makes my body and mind feel so much better, and I miss it. I *need* it.
    – Address overwhelming clutter and complete lack of organization. Need a systematic way to think about this, since I’m prone to just buying more bins at Target and hoping that will solve things, when it really doesn’t. Corollary: take better care of our house and the things in it. DH and I tend to put housekeeping/maintenance waaaaaay at the bottom of our priority list, and most of the time I’m fine with that, but nice things don’t stay nice if you don’t take care of them. Here too I think about the example for my kids: I yell about putting toys away and not breaking them and not losing pieces, but then they see me just leaving haphazard piles of stuff everywhere.
    – Waste less food (and save $). I cook almost all our meals, but I overbuy and end up tossing veggies/fruits too often.
    – Bring lunch 2x/wk, then increase.
    – Get a financial planner, figure out pathetic 401ks, nonexistent investments, etc.
    – Invite friends over more. I’m blessed w/ a great community of friends, but the messy house and lack of time means I don’t open our home as often as I’d like to.

  38. I think my main goal for this year (more accurately, beginning this year) is aim. To have purpose in what I do, to accomplish the small and the large in reasonable and noticeable increments. To know what certain aims should be, and prioritize, and then take action, in a continual and overlapping course of movement.In short, to stop just spinning my wheels.
    I’m hoping DH will take up his side of the reins in this, and that our goals are mutual.

  39. I love reading these comments. There are three things I’m asking/hoping of myself in 2011 (in no particular order).1) Quit diet coke. It’s terrible for me, and I don’t want my kids to see me drinking soda, but I don’t like any other sources of caffeine, so kicking it is tough.
    2) Try to enjoy the experience of my new novel coming out this summer. It’s a stressful process, but I’m proud of myself and the book so I want to try and be in the moment for it.
    3) Become socially/politically active. I’m not sure what this practically means for me. Protesting? Phone banking? I know I’m scared about the direction our country is headed in, and I want to engage with the problem more, instead of just worrying about it. I want to model engagement for my little boys.

  40. Reading all of these goals reminds me of two more of my own perpetual goals: make sure at least 1/2 my plate for lunch & dinner is veggies. And the other one is ‘Finish what you start’. This applies to so many things, but in my case it mostly helps keep the house clean (& things put away), and it keeps projects from stalling or piling up.

  41. Ann @ 9:35: I’m interested in your resolution to quit Diet Coke since I’m hooked too and have tried to quit before but am basically too chicken to try very hard. For me it’s not just the caffeine but it’s truly a habit that I take comfort in…I crave that first shot of bubbly liquid and drink it like water basically. But I do wonder what my kids are picking up and whether it’s weird to drink so much around them. o any other folks out there who’ve been through this…how’d you do it?

  42. @mumoffo – I gave up Diet Coke and all soda when I was pregnant. It didn’t make me very happy but I felt like it was something I needed to do, so I just stopped drinking it. I drink it like water again these days and I go back and forth with the whole example I’m setting thing because if I’m drinking water, so is my three year old. If I’m drinking Diet Coke in front of him, he likely asks for a sip. No real advice but you aren’t the only one thinking on this. (There is a carbonated apple juice in a can that I occasionally give him and he calls it Apple Diet Coke, so yeah, Diet Coke is big in our house.)Although big picture, Diet Coke is really not such a horrible vice is it? I work so hard on being so many thing for myself and him (patient, kind, respectful, hard working, healthy eater, physically active, etc.) but I am just a regular person, too, flaws and all. I do believe it will benefit him to know and accept that. If I were to die tomorrow, in a month or in a year, would the thing I regret most be how much Diet Coke I drank?

  43. re the clutter thing. I know this isn’t an option for you right now, but for me moving to a bigger place has helped me immeasurably with the clutter/hoarder issue.Because I was moving, I purged about 30% of the ‘stuff’ I had accumulated over 25 years. The bigger house has more space to spread out, and now most things have a designated ‘place’ to live.
    I’ll let you know in 6 months how this is going!

  44. I want to be more gentle with myself and with others. I want to run a sub-2 hour half marathon on March 17th. I want to attend at least one meditation session at the Shambhala center down the street. I will attend that Al-Anon session this upcoming Saturday morning. I will let go of grudges. I will not smoke. I will forgive myself if I do, and keep trying. “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”–Samuel Beckett(Thank you, Paola and Caramama for your kind words the other day!)

  45. @ann and @mumoffo: i gave up Diet Coke cold turkey in grad school. It was hard, but I hated how dependent I was on it. To cope, I allowed myself all the caffeine I wanted (coffee, tea, cocoa, etc.) before noon, but after noon, no caffeine. After a year or so, I had a diet Coke and it didn’t even taste good to me. During my second pregnancy, I’ve been so extremely lethargic, I had to allow myself some caffeine, but I switched to tea in the mornings instead of coffee (2 c. of tea is about 1/2 the caff of a cup of coffee, and way less than the 2-3 c. of coffee I usually drank). Still can’t wait to go back to coffee someday. OTOH, I agree w/ @mom2boy; there are worse vices than diet coke, for sure.Regarding clutter, I just want to say there is hope. I used to be a messy person (my dorm room in college probably harbored wildlife, unintentionally). I grew up in a house where it was just normal for clothes to live on the floor instead of the closet. Years of living with a neatnik and changing my perspective to focus on creating a calm, pleasant place for myself and my family to live (rather than viewing de-cluttering and tidying up as an onerous chore) has finally turned me into an pretty neat person myself. It took about 7-8 years of working on it, but one day I realized, I’ve actually become the person who would genuinely rather just wash the dishes immediately or hang up the clothes right away or toss the junk mail every day rather than let things pile up, which was my former m.o. The woman who writes at unclutterer.com (Erin Dolan) is also a former messy person turned neatnik. It CAN happen, it just takes a lot of work.
    OTOH, as @Moxie pointed out, there are some people who have problems with spatial organization (hoarders often have this problem) and there are special techniques and treatment to help w/ this.

  46. @mummafo and @BlueBridMama and @Mom2Boy: Definitely worse vices than diet coke, it’s just that it’s so filled with chemicals and there have been disturbing medical studies on its unhealthiness (which I don’t want to look at again, so I won’t look them up), so I’d like to quit it. I stopped while pregnant as well, but then went back to it. I love the cool bubbliness, and don’t like coffee or tea. I’m going to try seltzer for the bubbles, and do my best to cut back. Ah, well, there are worse problems, but it bothers me.

  47. @ann, if it’s the bubbles you like, try sparkling flavored waters. walmart brand is really good.sigh. my big one, to move in with my bf, is really freighted with his work issues & out of my hands now, so i’m tabling until his work is straightened out & we move together to mn or mi or he moves here & telecommutes or i move to nova…see? too complex to wrap my head around.
    need to lose weight again. lost 30lb last year & have 20 of it back, but hopefully it hasn’t set up housekeeping yet & won’t be too hard to get rid of.
    i’m really thankful for my son’s slow improvements in his developmental delays and for my mama who makes my life livable.
    no smart goals. does that make them dumb goals?

  48. Maybe thinking about it will help me get a plan, but I am so sleep deprived that I cannot get my head around much at the moment. But, here goes:in 2010 I would like to:
    1. Get more air and exercise – just walking more would be an improvement right now and as my daughter finally seems to like her stroller, I no longer have the excuse that carrying her 9 kilo bod in the sling is too much.
    2. Start working on my dissertation again.
    3. Work on my personal life.
    4. Get over my issues with my in-laws.
    5. Stop getting overworked about BS.
    6 Move apartments.
    7. Speak less and answer questions without rambling around the question.
    Happy new Year!

  49. 1. Do a good deed each day. I really feel like I should be contributing more to the community, but at least I can try to do something nice for a co-worker or make a charitable donation or write my grandmother.2. Yeah, the sex one. Also, count to three so I don’t snap at my husband, and if he says something in a way that annoys me, remind myself that there’s a good heart behind it.
    3. (Ironically) Quit wasting time on the internet. If I need a break at work, I will get out a book or magazine and read, not fool myself into thinking I’m semi-working when I’m surfing the net.
    4. Grow up. I will not turn off the radio when something scary, annoying, or stupid comes on the news. I need to face global warming, political stories that are about nothing but who will win elections, war, etc.
    5. I feel like the biggest hypocrite for saying this, because I have huge problems with the way our culture treats weight and diet. But, I will need a new wardrobe if I don’t lose some weight. I did pretty well last year at having good habits, so this year I will keep a food diary and continue my exercises in the morning, adding in some strength training.
    6. Wear sunscreen every day.
    7. Get rid of the f*(#ing roaches in the kitchen. Probably needs an exterminator, but also needs us to keep the kitchen much cleaner. I’ve put up a board with a list of all the chores to be done morning and night. No more leaving dishes in the sink.
    Most of these are really background, though – my real goal is to get my life in order enough that we can think about trying for a baby #3.

  50. 1) yell less, control temper, take time outs2) exercise (at least a little) everyday. Period.
    3) stop obsessing about weight
    4) go to the dentist
    5) get life insurance
    6) do something for Haiti
    7) have sex 5 times a month
    8) be more patient
    9) write in the kids memory books at least once a month
    10) eat more vegetables
    11) make the office a more pleasant and usable space (instead of the dumping ground that it currently is)

  51. In a perfect world these are the five things I want to acheive this year. Reading the other comments has inspired me to1) Save enough money to travel Europe with my lovely wee boy and his Daddy.
    2) Fit into my new jeans!
    3) Stop smoking (going to be soooooooo dificult)
    4) Eat five peices of fruit a day.
    5) Get a full sleeve tattoo.
    5)

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