Not so happy Thanksgiving?

Sad? Irate? Frustrated? Stuck at work? Not in the US and don't care about our Thanksgiving? Vent it here.

(Look up at the next post for thankfulness, and down at the previous post for talk about gifts, handmade gifts, and venting about commercialism.)

38 thoughts on “Not so happy Thanksgiving?”

  1. Yay! A place to vent! Just what I needed right now.Family can drive you crazy! No one wants to be at this particular family gathering, and we have all had to travel some distance to be here. I think it sucks worse when the travel is a pain in the butt.
    I am tired from travel, and the baby’s sleep schedule is screwed up between the travel and the cold he has. The person who is the reason for all this travel keeps telling me to take care of myself. The best thing I can do to take care of myself is to not travel with a baby! Let us all stay home!

  2. Bad day? Well yes. I got notice for termination yesterday after seven years. Sure they ran out of money, but I am still in chock. We had just decided to start trying for an other baby and I have been off the pill for two days (note to self: start taking pills when I get home). I have a stupid cold that makes my head feel completely stuffed. I am feeling really sorry for myself, but I try to be grateful for my education and nice cv, our savings and our planning for an event like this, access to family planning and my beautiful children and husband.

  3. Missing my family. Thanksgiving is THE holiday. Being with them was hard work physically (had to bring special food), but easy emotionally. Been 2 years since I saw many of them. They don’t really understand why I moved away. Just feeling distant and guilty as hell.

  4. My baby is almost 1 year old, and I am getting scared that things will not get better, as everyone always says. Used to sleep very well at night, and is now crying out and woke up today at 4am. She is also more irritable during the day.Everytime we see the light, it gets snatched away from us. We are so tired of troubleshooting, coping, trying to patch up sleep snafus, etc. And this isn’t really a sleep issue. This is battle fatigue from dealing with one stressor after another. I’m pissed off that we try so hard, research extensively, invest so much – and yet we have so few smooth periods.
    We have a lot to be grateful for, we know. It is just so hard to have perspective. We work so hard to be good parents, and it is problem after problem. When do we get to enjoy ourselves? People say it gets easier, but I don’t know if I believe them anymore.

  5. @anon for sureIt does get better. Really. There is another hiccup around first birthday time, which you don’t hear a lot about. See Moxie’s archives if you need to. I know she did a post on the 13 month regression. For me, it really was one of the worst of the first year, especially becasue DD was also learning to walk and her body just would not let up. By around 14 months though, Bubs was happy and walking and sleeping again.
    It might still be a teensy bit early to really enjoy yourselves again, like pre- baby, but you do get there in the end.

  6. I’m not in the US but I like the holiday and am happy that some American expat friends here are having a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow for the third year in a row. I really look forward to it! I just love the getting together and eating yummy food πŸ˜‰

  7. My husband died 4.5 months ago and I’m raising our 18 month old by myself now. Feeling very very sorry for myself today and missing him more than I could ever imagine.

  8. Sick sick sick. Sick of being sick. Stupid first trimester. Why am I doing this to myself again?? It’s not like I didn’t remember how crappy pregnancy was last time. Can’t I just spend the next 6-8 weeks hiding in bed?

  9. Baby finally stopped barfing but now me and 3 year old are. Up all night hugging toilet. Not fun.Thank goodness its not Thanksgiving here or that would be a double whammy.

  10. @SR, I’m so sorry. Today must be particularly hard. Have you found Snickollet’s blog yet?@anon for sure, I found the first year of my first child’s life to be probably the hardest year of my life. That first birthday party is for the parents, not the kid! But it does get easier. Unfortunately, then it gets hard again. But I think even the hard times get easier to deal with as you get more sure of yourself as a parent. I remember taking our problems in the first year almost personally, like they meant that I wasn’t a good enough mother.
    My second is 13 months old now, and yeah- this is a hard age even when you are expecting it. Everyone is so frustrated!
    @Melba- I’m sorry to hear the bug hit you and your older daughter, too! I’ve been there. It sucks.
    My whine is that this is my first Thanksgiving in a long while without my Mom helping me cook the meal (they’re driving over tomorrow). My husband has the girls in a bedroom, keeping them entertained and out of my way. But I’m lonely in the kitchen!

  11. @SR, so very sorry. I can’t even imagine.@anon for sure, we are there too. My son turns one next month and I dread nighttime because sleep is a struggle. Last night, I screamed Goddammit and my husband screamed it back at me. I really wish I could be a better mother. Does your baby nap ok? At eleven months old, we wear our son for naps twice a day. Although I’m kinda ashamed to admit that, he does nap for a full three hours a day in the Ergo and it makes life easier. I’m looking forward to reading Moxie’s post on Monday!
    I am so thankful for my husband and son, screaming the lord’s name in vain and all, and my parents thousands of miles away. I am blessed for sure. This thanksgiving, we are not going to inlaws house for the first time because we have stopped talking to them. And the ice storms here have made undrivable roads so we didn’t get to the store at all the past week. Turkey sandwiches for dinner!

  12. @SR, Thinking of you and sending you all the good vibes I can muster.@Anon for sure, I’ll just echo everyone else and say hang in there. I remember feeling the same way around that time. The endless loop was so frustrating and tiring and morale-reducing. But, it does in fact get better. You will at one point get enough rest in a row (or enough of a break from the problems) that it makes the setbacks, when you have them, easier to manage. At 2y5m DS is still not consistently sleeping through. BUT, we do have long stretches where he does. And I have to work much less at troubleshooting to help him stay even-keeled. I even managed to work on MY project for 20 minutes while he was in the room without him demanding my attention. And I can tell you how much all of that helps lift the black cloud? Progress can feel painfully slow. But it does happen, bit by bit.

  13. @SR: sending you hugs and best wishes from a stranger who is just so sorry that the unthinkable has happened.I’m low because I miss my departed parents and don’t want to repeat the holiday with the inlaws ever again. It sounds harsh, but 14 continuous years of it has taken its toll.

  14. @anon for sure and @lumberjack – I so totally feel your pain. We had a (relatively) chill first year and then suddenly babyT discovered she could yell and cry when she wants something we won’t give her, or when it’s time to nap, or go to bed. Sigh. I need to work on solving the problem without getting upset about it. This weekend was one of the first I’ve really missed my old life πŸ™ I am looking forward to Moxie’s Monday post because it seems like things are getting harder, not easier.@everyone having trouble w/ family – sorry to hear that. We are on our own this Thanksgiving and it’s been kind of nice to have a few days off and just hang out together, even if we are trapped inside due to the snow and ice.
    @SR – I am SO SO sorry. I can’t imagine.

  15. @ SR. I’m so very sorry. My heart goes out to you.My complaints seems so silly now… Baby, who FINALLY slept two 9-hour stretches last week, got a cold and has been up on and off all night for days. I don’t mind at all waking up repeatedly when she’s sick, but I’m dreading finding the 9 hours were a fluke and we’re back to square 1.
    I also had a letter to a call-in show read on the air today (yay!), saying how I wish more peds would give out tips for cosleeping instead of dismissing it as dangerous. This was followed by an interview with a poor woman who lost her baby when he suffocated when she fell asleep breastfeeding in bed. I felt horrible, horrible for her–and, although I still stand by my letter, I felt like an ass for the way my comments made her feel so sad. πŸ™

  16. Anon for sure…hugs to you! We were there. My DS is 2.5 and I know it is hard to hear but it gets SO much better. This year was the first holiday where the was laughter at the table and we weren’t paranoid of schedules etc. It feels like one problem solving event after another and then gradually it gets better.We are still in the terrible two’s, but things are much better…
    …at least for now. πŸ˜‰

  17. SR, I cannot imagine your longing and sadness. I cannot imagine the hardship of raising a child without my husband ever coming home again. I am thinking of you in your pain and hope you can knit small pieces of relief together to get bigger and bigger. Sending you my hope for your peace and rest.

  18. Yes, I am looking forward to Monday’s post. I think this year in general has been a thumbs down for us. Too many things to list…and I just want 2010 to end so we can start anew in 2011. Before Halloween we were in a major car accident and walked away unhurt…I have been dealing with a lot of different emotions since then….from forgiveness to the driver that caused the accident to rage at all the cr@p we have had to endure since then…our lives being turned upside down mentally and physically…to rage at the loss of my car…even though our car did an AWESOME job at protecting us. The whole situation just breaks my heart…how close we came to losing each other and how there was absolutely no way to avoid it…unless we had decided to stay home for dinner that night.I am thankful for my children and husband. Today was a peaceful day.

  19. SR – so very sorry for your terrible loss. Tears in my eyes just thinking of you. I hope you have many kind, gentle, loving people to surround you now and always. My mom was a young widow with 4 kids…so hard and yet she is a simply amazing mother.May you find much peace and strength.
    Anon for sure: just chiming in to say it will get better. It will. Be kind to yourself and hang in there.

  20. SR hugs and so sorry. I am grateful to have a husband, although a workaholic, who does come home and does a bit of help with the Hedgehog.Vent! Hh is 10 months old and will not nap or sleep without boob in the mouth. If I remove, she will literally freak out and with a look on her face saying “Well guess what, I’m not going to nap PERIOD now because you dared remove your boob! Now you have to put up with me in a cranky mood ALL DAY! and I’m going to have a horible night so I hope you enjoy being up all night!!!!” I SWEAR I can see this on her face.
    And I’m going back to a job I hate in 2 months as my mat leave will be over then. We originally planned for me to be a SAHM but my husband’s job (self employed) took a turn for the worse and we decided he will stay home (for that I am grateful).

  21. @Minty, ha! Your hedgehog and my porcupine are in cahoots.Most of the time, I am very happy he is so soothed from nursing. Sometimes, I feel like a machine, usually when I’m struggling from lack of sleep.
    I’m sorry you have to go back to work to a job you hate. That is so hard. I’m going back too, next month, and every day that goes by, my stomach forms a new knot.

  22. Here’s my post holiday primal scream: it turns out that holiday disruptions are terrible for 2.5! Plus 2.5 + holiday + baby-who-doesn’t-sleep + potty training + parents-and-their-expectations + 850 sq ft house = :(mommy. So glad it’s Monday & I can have some peace!

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