Q&A: Moms Who Travel For Work

A frequent reader who I'm not going to name because the position isn't hers quite yet writes:

"After years of reading and gleaning lots of spot-on advice from you and
your readers, I have a question:

How do you handle (or prevent)
the logistical and emotional upheaval of business travel?  I love my
work, and I'm a candidate for an exciting and lucrative promotion.  I'm
traveling by air next week with my potential new supervisors on business
trip.  This is the first time I've traveled for work since my
4-year-old son was born.  I'm nervous about what, in essence, will be a
two-day job interview.  I'm also in a bit of an emotional
state–worrying about day-to-day routine disruptions (including finding a
babysitter for when my husband is in class), mourning missed events (my
son's preschool Art Show), and fearing the most horrific what-ifs
(plane crash!).

How do you do it?  What are your most valuable sanity savers? 
Should I check my luggage or carry-on?  Any packing advice?  How do I
quit obsessing over the worst-case scenario?"

Perfect timing for me for this question, as I'm traveling next week, this time for four days. And I know there are other traveling working moms who will weigh in.

I think you've got the most important thing covered already, which is that you like the job. It's brutal to be shoehorning yourself onto an airplane and leaving your little sweetie if you don't really enjoy what you're doing. Travel was extremely hard on me emotionally when I wasn't fully bought in to my job. Since I'm volunteering to make the Kool-Aid for my current job, the leaving is much, much, much easier. Most of my trips are fun and a positive contribution to the world, so it doesn't feel like a hot poker in the stomach to leave my boys.

I'll admit, though, that I have a sweet situation, in that my kids stay at their dad's when I'm on a work trip. We use our crack team of babysitters more to cover the ends of the day when I'm gone, but for the kids it's not a sad "Mom's gone" time as much as it is a "Woo-hoo! Three days with Dad" time. If we were all together in the same household I think my absence would be felt more strongly by the kids.

I think you could replicate the "different rules when mom's on a trip" dynamic (*if* you wanted to) by encouraging your partner to create routines or built-in treats that only happen when you're not home. This would make it just a different time for your son while you're traveling, instead of a sad time for him.

I don't think there's anything you can do about feeling bad that you're missing things. I also don't think there's anything you can do about the fact that if you travel for work, at some point you're going to find yourself calling the school from the airport to find out if you forgot that today was an early-dismissal day (and knowing that if it is you have to find a babysitter to pick him up in an hour). I think part of being a working mom, and especially a traveling working mom, is losing the thread every once in awhile. Which is a big reason it's important to work on forming a safety net for yourself. Make sure you have enough babysitters that you use regularly on call. Let friends know when you'll be traveling, Offer to do some pick-ups and drop-offs for other parents while you're in town so you can call in a favor if you need it while you're on the road. Spend the time creating your own village.

I do think it gets easier, though. And you really value the things you don't miss. And you'll start to enjoy the travel, especially if you can work treats in for yourself. For me, just being in lockdown with no one able to ask me anything (aside from what I want to drink) for a 2 or 3-hour flight, is an enormous luxury. But I like to add to that by reading a magazine or trashy novel. And I do a lot of eating high-calorie foods in bed while watching TV while I'm on the road, too. If you have friends and the ability and open time to connect with them in the place you'll be traveling to, definitely make the effort. If you're extra-nice to yourself and create your own rituals and moments of connection, traveling can be good for your soul.

I bet everyone's going to give conflicting advice about the actual travel, so here's my two cents:

  • Carry on. Most airlines are charging buckets of money to check anything these days, and if you're only going for two days, you shouldn't be bringing that much stuff anyway. Get a good, solid wheelie bag (aka "rollerboard") that fits in most overhead compartments, but know that you might have to put it underneath or gate-check it. 
  • Travel size-it, or use non-liquid products. They're serious about the 3.4 ounce rule for liquids. Put them all in a gallon-size ziploc-type plastic bag. Pack that at the very obvious top of your bag or toss it in your purse, because you need to pull it out for security.
  • I use a 4-bin system at security, and I see the male business travelers rolling their eyes, until my 4 bins and I are through security and they're still stuck in line: 1 bin for my laptop, 1 for my shoes, 1 for my ziploc of liquids, and one for my purse (and I put my BlackBerry on top of my open purse so it's obvious what it is), and then my bag itself. (n the winter I put my coat in the ziploc bin, with the ziploc on top.)
  • Be nice. I mean, yeah, of course. But being really nice, even if you're stressed out, can defuse a bad situation. It can also help you in a jam. Even if all it does is make you feel superior to the people sitting next to you, every little bit helps.
  • Ask for help. People will always help you if you need it. Always. And sometimes people need the extra boost of being useful to someone else.
  • Get a little black dress that doesn't wrinkle, and always have that and a pair of heels (or whatever you'd wear in a cocktail party situation) in your bag.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, get the large size sweet tea at the Carolina Pit BBQ stand in the food court of CLT. It is waaaaaay too big and will throw you off entirely. The medium is good enough.

All the rest of my advice is about specific airlines/airports/rental car companies/hotel chains/cities, so that's what I've got.

Anyone else? Either advice for our writer about traveling, or advice about being the parent who's at home while she's traveling? I know you all have good stuff, so please share.

37 thoughts on “Q&A: Moms Who Travel For Work”

  1. Just had to leave my two with DH so I could attend a memorial = lots of emotional baggage while preparing to leave … not the same as a job interview, but, here’s what worked for me:- prepared food in advance for my kids so i knew they were eating familiar food and wouldn’t give dad a hard time.
    – left a detailed list of their likes and dislikes so DH could go off beaten track I’d laid and he could feel in charge, while still feeding the kids familiar items.
    – did tons of laundry before I left so I had options up to the last minute and the kids/dad had a pile to use without them having to stop and worry about it. This seems unnecessary but again, it’s a touch of mom that they might appreciate.
    -pack as early as you can so that part is settled while you fuss over kid details, which will dog you no matter how early you get them “done” …
    – beware locations during checking in calls. I foolishly chose a noisy airport and couldn’t hear the kids on the line – heartbreaking. I felt like they didn’t get a sense of connecting at all, I missed them a ton more … do a quiet place.
    – talk to your son beforehand about you going, it’ll be different while you’re gone, but you’ll be back and things will be the same again. Preparation for four year olds is key.
    – ask your son what he’d like to help with = help you pack, help you pick games he’ll play with dad while you’re gone, etc, to help him feel more in charge.
    Be prepared for tantrums when you get back; the emotional hangover of your being gone is sometimes evidenced negatively.
    Remind yourself kids are resilient, it will work out, and you can have a break (reload your iPod!)
    Good luck.

  2. Get Skype up and running on your laptop and at home. I used to travel to Asia often and Skype enabled me to spend breakfast and dinner with my kids when I traveled. My kids are 6 and 3, so a video call is much better for them than a voice only call. I also made sure I checked in with my husband, who is the stay at home parent, after the kid’s bedtime to see how he was doing. For long trips I made arrangements to have my Mom come for a visit to help with the kids.Totally on board for the 4-bin security check plan. I also make sure I alway travel with slip on shoes, so I don’t have to stop and tie anything.
    Create a travel wardrobe with interchangable articles. For example, all of my travel suits are some variation of black. I throw in some color with my blouses. Nonetheless, I only need one pair of black shoes to cover all the variations.

  3. This letter is very timely! I’m having many of the same anxieties as I make plans for my first business trip just after my daughter’s 3rd birthday this fall. I’ve never been away from her for more than a typical workday, and I’m very much looking forward to reading about others’ experiences.

  4. If you’re a pumping mom (probably not for the OP but for someone else), I like to pump in the airport before boarding the plane (if the flight is only an hour or two long). It’s just easier that way in the relatively luxurious confines of the airport bathroom instead of the airplane bathroom. And it kills the waiting time too. Even at O’Hare.I did find that the security screeners were well-versed in seeing pumps on the x-ray and O’Hare had one person (a man!) who was the go-to guy to make sure all those wires and tubes really were a pump and not something nefarious.
    I had no trouble bringing my milk and freezer pack through security even exceeding the fluid limits. I did not have to dump the milk. I tend toward out early in the am, back late at night trips so I didn’t have to worry about a fridge at the hotel, etc.
    Also, I find calling and talking to the kids to be upsetting to them until they understand that hearing my voice on the phone does not mean I am in the house and they should look for me (and not find me). During that age/stage, I just call and talk to dad or grandma or school, whomever. And I try to talk to dad when the kids are asleep becuase it is too hectic for him to talk to me and wrangle the children.
    Bring home a souvenir for kids (even if it’s a teeny tiny hotel bottle of shampoo or a shower cap, but even better if it’s a transformer or an airplane).

  5. Just chiming in as the mom who stays home with kids while husband travels a lot – the idea that Dad come up with his own variation on routine while you are gone will really help the kid embrace it as special time instead of wallowing in what is missing. Nothing drastic, just something fun and different. For us, (we have a 4 year old and an infant) we ALWAYS drop Daddy off at the airport and the two of them look at airplanes before he heads into the airport. Then we get back into the car and head to McDonald’s (which we rarely have otherwise). At the end of the trip, we always pick him up in baggage claim. Having these things added to our daily routine lets her know what to expect while he’s gone and are fun things that make her feel a part of what he is doing.And I also agree with using a video chat while gone. We’ve done this for 4 years now, yes, even when she was a baby. Back when she was an infant it was so he could see her; now it’s for both of them to catch up. Even just a 5 minute video chat will brighten the kid up, let them know where you are (my husband always makes a big production of showing off his hotel room) and gives them a chance to see your smile.
    For your husband – make sure he’s got the right support he needs and try and be forgiving of changes he makes to the regular routine. And trust that your spouse is doing all he can to make your child happy/healthy/safe/well-rested because he’s your co-parent and loves the kid as much as you do. That should help your brain focus on the tasks at hand – your job.
    Good luck!

  6. This isn’t a travel tip per se, but using Google calendar has helped in managing our family’s schedule a lot. Easily accesible by many people, color-coding for different members, and just easy to use in general. Also, remember that if you are not there the people who are there (i.e. Dad) get to run things how they want. I have seen friends micromanage their partners and it’s not helpful to anyone. If he wants to do pizza or whatever cause it’s easier, he gets to do that.

  7. When my husband travels my son REALLY misses him a lot– but talking on the phone is hit or miss–sometimes it kind of makes him miss Dad more. Also, I second dropping that off at the airport, special treats (though nothing too outlandish– I’m talking chocolate milk at breakfast, not expensive new toys) and special songs can help. (We sing a Music Together song that goes “Who says she’s gonna come back, Mommy does that’s who, whoever takes care of you comes back, because they do love you, etc., etch”. DS loves it and sings it over and over on the way home from the airport when we drop off DH.)For the times that I’m gone (rarely overnight, but sometimes in the evenings), I think the most important thing for me has been to stop micromanaging my husband. He’s an adult, he’s been a dad for as long as I’ve been a Mom, he adores our son and has a wonderful relationship with him and he can deal. Do they eat hot dogs for dinner and way too much chocolate when I’m gone? You betcha. It’s something they bond over. Sometimes bedtime gets pushed by 15 or 30 minutes, sometimes my husband forgets to bring a snack along (and suffers the consequences), sometimes the lunch that gets sent to pre-school is, well, let’s just say it’s not what I would pack. But– it’s fine. In fact, it’s wonderful. We’re different and our son probably appreciates our differences– yes, routine is important, and yes, I’m pretty much the routine enforcer around here; I’m also chief nutritionist and cook, wardrobe stylist, social coordinator and head nurse. That being said, my husband is much more patient, relaxed and flexible with my son and gets far less worked up about doing everything perfectly…which is probably why it’s much more fun to play trains or “building stuff” with him than with me. I also know that when it comes to the big things: safety, basic logistics, illness, etc. that my husband and I are on exactly the same page and he’s got it covered.
    Letting go of the need to be in control and the need to always be “Number 1” in my son’s eyes has been really important in (a) alleviating my guilt and (b) letting my husband’s relationship with my son blossom in to something amazing.

  8. Okay, I have to say my own mini-rant on this subject: why is it that in most families that when the dad travels it’s no big deal but when mom does it causes mass chaos? I don’t get it and it makes me kind of crazy. Since my kid was about 19 months I’ve had work trips (usually 2 nights away) 1-2 times each quarter.It sounds like the OP has been been a working parent for some time and possibly the husband has too, so they should be used to the back and forth of who is the main child caregiver at any given time. My advice, especially if work travel is going to become more frequent for mom, is to let dad handle the arrangements of what will happen when she’s gone. Offer your help if he wants it but don’t micromanage or schedule the whole time you are gone. If this is going to become the norm he’s going to have to learn how to deal and there is no time like now for him to do that.
    The bonuses of work travel? A hotel room to yourself with no one bothering you or taking the TV remote. Also – loooooong uninterrupted showers and just a sense of quiet. Eating what you want, when you want and making it through an entire day without a snot smear on your shoulder.
    Other stuff:
    Skype is awesome to help you feel connected.
    Carry-on only.
    Pack light and little – take only what you need.
    Don’t do gifts or they will become expected – I like to take pics of myself with my phone while I’m traveling and we sit down and go over them when I come back. They don’t need to be exciting “this is mommy in the cab” (we don’t use cabs were we live), “here’s mommy on the plane” so she gets a sense of what I was doing while I was gone.
    My daughter is 3 1/2 about a day or 2 ahead of a trip I tell her where I’m going and why, then we look at a map to see how far away it is. She get’s that “out of town” means I’ll be gone overnight. The first trip is hard, but trust your coparent to be competent and you’ll do fine.
    Oh, and I usually encourage my husband to have a “guys night” out soon after I come home – he needs a break, too!

  9. Though I haven’t traveled for work since having kids, I have left for a couple of trips without the kids. Here’s my biggest advice:-Let Dad do his own thing, so long as he is generally on board with the rules of the house–ideally he helped make them with you. Let all the little things go. So what if the kids don’t wear clothes that match to school/daycare or that they eat sugary cereal for breakfast. If they are clothed and feed, that is a win!
    Other travel advice:
    -Hook up Skype!!! It’s so worth it!
    -Carry on with wheels.
    -Pack one pair of shoes–they take up too much room in the bag to be worth more than one pair. That means if you pack your black shoes, pack only outfits that work with those shoes. If you really need two pairs, wear one of them and pack the other (I say it like that because I would sometimes wear slip on sneakers to the airport instead of work shoes.)
    -On travel days, wear slip on shoes, no belt, minimal jewerly, etc. to make going through security easier and quicker.
    Good luck!

  10. I travel for work. Usually 1-2 nights at a time every other week or so. Occasionally I have a 3-4 day trip. My daughter is only 12 months, but I’ve been traveling in some way since she was born.It depends a lot, I think, on the type of parenting relationship your husband has with your child. From day one, my husband has been at least an equal parent, sometimes I think he’s got this parenting thing down better than me! So when I’m out of town, I don’t plan a thing. I let him be the caretaker, he does the meals, he gets her bathed and in bed, etc. But that’s the kind of dad he is. If you are the primary caretaker and it will be harder when you go, I am sure the planning helps a lot.
    My biggest piece of advice is to LET GO OF ANY GUILT. Enjoy your time away. Enjoy a glass of wine and the big king sized bed all to yourself. Make the room as warm/cold as you want. Relish being a full fledged adult with no mommy duties for those 2 days. You’ll be a better parent when you come back too, because you’ll have missed your child so much.

  11. I don’t travel frequently for my work – a few times a year – but I’m away for at least 3 days usually, and in our typical routine I spend more time with her since my husband commutes farther. So it has the potential to be really disruptive, but we have gotten a lot better at it (and she’s gotten older, which I’m sure helps a lot).I first went away for three days when she was 18mos and still b-fing and it was awful for all of us. But on the most recent trip I was away for NINE whole days just after her 4th birthday, and it was practically painless.
    Here’s what helps: we talk about it a lot in advance and draw pictures about it. Early on we made sure she came to drop me off at the airport so she could see me going off like in the pictures (because the pictures also show me returning). Now it’s not so important that she’s there because she knows what it means to leave on a plane.
    Phone calls still make her more agitated than happy, so I have avoided them. Even though I’d desperately like to hear her voice, I leave it up to my husband to decide whether he thinks she’s able to handle it, since he’s the one who will have to deal with her screaming for me to come home if she’s not.
    I try to let make sure I remember to relax and enjoy my “vacation” from home duties – I’m usually at conferences so it isn’t as stressful as a job interview, but you still don’t have dishes to do in the evenings. Then when I get home I’m not worn out from the stress of being away and can happily give her some make-up time.
    And while she’s home with her dad, we try to strike a balance between the same routine (still goes to daycare, same bedtime, etc..) with some special things thrown in to make it a special dad time. They count down the days when I’m away in terms of how many more “sleeps,” which seems to make it easier for her to understand in terms of how much time is left.
    Good luck with the job interview!

  12. I have only done one business trip post-baby (and that was a cross-country haul when my now 3 year old was 6 months old, and I was still pumping. Yikes. In the end, what worked best was actually pumping in my seat, with a shawl wrapped around myself).But I’ll share my #1 favorite tip from the days when I did a lot of business travel. Have a color of folder for trips (my trip folders were green). As soon as a trip is scheduled, make a folder, and start throwing the stuff you’ll need (like itineraries, maps, documents you’ll need) into that folder.
    I did heavy travel for about 3 years, and this system saved my butt more than once. I’d think I’d forgotten something, look in my folder, and there it was!
    Oh, and best tip #2 was to buy extra chargers for all your gadgets and just leave the chargers in your travel bag. But later, someone told me that usually the hotel will have the charger you need if you forget yours, because other people have forgotten theirs on the other end, i.e., left their chargers in their hotel rooms.

  13. I travel a few times a year for work. My last trip, a few weeks ago, there was very heavy turbulence as we were landing. I was totally freaking out, like hands gripped to seat, sweating, shaking. I started writing over and over on a piece of paper how much I loved my boys. Luckily I was in a seat by myself and it was fairly dark. I managed to breathe deeply and calm myself down. And I’m not even the type to worry about ‘what ifs’. Really, there are way more ‘what ifs’ when driving in a car, but being up in the air makes you feel so vulnerable.My boys are old enough now that just the idea of me being on an airplane and a shuttle bus etc excites them, and they don’t seem at all bothered by me going away. Dad is also very involved day to day, so it’s not a big disruption to routine.

  14. I traveled for pleasure for a full week when my elder son was two. Rather than phone calls (because he wasn’t very verbal) I uploaded some photos each night, with a quick description of where I’d gone and what I’d done. He got a photo of each plane that I took, my rental car, and me at various places.I think it was helpful because the information was there for him on his schedule, and could be viewed repeatedly. When I got home, he wanted to sit on my lap and look at the pictures again, with me.
    Since then, we’ve had some mileage out of leaving written letters for him to ease transitions (such as the babysitter picking him up from preschool when he would prefer mommy) he can’t yet read, but he has respect for the written word.

  15. Great suggestions.When I traveled frequently, I’d leave as much of my carry-on travel bag packed as I could.
    – Toiletries already “bagged”, with liquids always in small quantities and in a quart-sized baggie.
    – Extra chargers, cash, reading material.
    – 2 or 3 standard travel outfits, always the same shoes.
    It’s not the total number of hours you spend with your child that matters 😉

  16. I really like the advice about being good yourself when you travel, too. For me it’s about eating well–junk food makes me feel yucky–and a few creature comforts, like a good book and my favorite tea to drink.I also suggest learning the flying “tricks” if you haven’t already. Figure out which routes are likely to have delays, and have backup plans in place. I may not need them, but it is reassuring to know what to do if I did.
    I second Skype, I even use it on quick trips. I also totally embrace bringing travel gifts home for my child, and one of the best pieces of advice that a colleague and mom gave me was to bring home candy for the gift. Yeah, I know, it’s not “healthy”, but I can choose a small amount and even that will impress my son (“chocolate all the way from Minneapolis? WOW!”) and it’s easy to pick up at the airport. And because it is consumed, there are fewer doo-dads around the house.
    Good luck with the trip!

  17. Thanks to everyone for their comments. This topic has been in the back of my mind for some time as I’m preparing for my first work trip in June, with DS staying at home with DH. And I must admit, I’m simultaneously coveting the full nights sleep for 2-3 nights in a row, and pretty frazzled about it as so far we’re still BF, and I do most of the daily routine at home.I’ve actually had 2 other business trips since going back to work, and both times DS was with me (along with either DH or my Mum to take care of DS while I worked). First time DH came and took care of DS while I worked. It was actually pretty fantastic. There were a few bumps (like DS not wanting to nap for papa),but overall it went really well and we kind of got a bit of family vacation time in. Our VP even offered to babysit for us one night so DH & I could go out together. (Totally would have taken him up on it, but DS gets so freaked waking up with people he doesn’t really know).
    So, while that wouldn’t work all the time (and it probably won’t work for the OP as she is in more of a job interview type situation where you really need to be 100% focused all of the time on work), it is sometimes a solution around the issue, especially for infants or young toddlers.
    My mum has also volunteered to come stay with DS & DH if I have to go out of town. We’ll probably take her up on that as with a dog that needs to be walked as well (and we don,t have a yard), it’s really hard (well impossible) to be only one person at home with both. Not to mention, I think that DS feels like there is some of me in my Mum (or I suppose it’s the reverse), so it’s comforting for him when she’s there.
    Everyone’s mostly covered the travel tips I have. For the trips I’ve done with DS, I also have had no problem bringing a bunch of breast milk through security.
    Check-in on-line if you can the night before. Time saver at the airport.
    And oh yeah, and when turbulence freaks me out (which is almost always), I just tell myself that it’s the airplane equivalent of driving on a gravel or bumpy road. Usually soothes my nerves for your run-of-the-mill turbulence.

  18. It gets easier the more you do it. The first trip was really hard for me and I had to keep telling myself that the anticipation was the worst part (it was). My boys were 2 years old and 5 months old. I pumped milk like a maniac in the weeks before and it comforted me that my baby would have that while I was gone for 3 days.There’s lots of good advice above, but I wanted to add something another mom said to me. She pointed out that most moms don’t get much of a break, and that I owed it to all of them to find a way to appreciate and enjoy my time away. I worked in some short walks and hotel-room catnaps based on her good advice and I’m so glad I did.

  19. ITA with @kakaty: “Why is it that in most families that when the dad travels it’s no big deal but when mom does it causes mass chaos?” Anyway, my DH travels a TON and my DD and I have special routines and traditions we only do when he’s gone. I did a stint of M-W in another city for about 6 weeks last year. It was stressful getting ready, but once I got into the routine it was fine. Carry-on only for sure. I stayed in the same hotel every week and they kept a bag of stuff for me (an extra pair of shoes, a fleece, yoga pants, coffee press, etc.) so I didn’t need to bring the same stuff back and forth every week. I would wear a black sheath dress (an old Jones NY one I got as part of a suit set years ago – great fabric that the wrinkes fall out of) with a jacket and pack a dif jacket, dress pants and a top or two. Sometimes I would leave my business clothes behind with the hotel for drycleaning. I always keep a toilet kit packed – duplicates of everthing all ready to go in there so there is no danger of leaving something behind in unpacking and repacking. I always had my laptop, so I would call home on Skye in the PM during their dinner. I did get little giftie things (LITTLE, like a lip balm or Pez or Mr Men book). I have one of those 4-compartment tupperwares that I would pack almonds, cheese, crackers and carrots in plus I’d bring an apple. I’d get a Boost smoothie at the airport. Again, the anticipation was way worse than the actual event(s). My DH did fine as 100% sole parent for those days each week – even got her hair into a neat ponytail for school. Not to make it sound as if this was an unexpected miracle, but sometimes it is assumed that Dads just can’t hack it alone and it is bullshit (or, should be).

  20. I always get a magnet from the city that I am in for my kids. It is small, cheap, fun and potentially educational.

  21. I didn’t have time to read the other comments, so this may be repetitive (sorry).My husband has traveled nearly every week since our younger daughter was about 9 months old. It was very difficult at first, but we’ve settled into a decent enough routine, and now I think it is actually harder on him than on me and the kids (he has to transition from “work self,” where he’s the expert, to “daddy,” who is fun and all, but doesn’t know where stuff is, when we have to be here and there, etc.).
    My recommendations:
    1. Definitely get the wheelie bag that can be carried on (he uses the Tarmac 22 by Eagle Creek: http://www.eaglecreek.com/bags_luggage/wheeled_carry-on/Tarmac-22-20201/ )
    2. If you have an iphone or smartphone, get an app for travel arrangements. My husband uses Tripit, which sends me (and him) text messages about his flights, delays, etc. etc.
    3. If you have a camera on your laptop, set up video chatting before you leave. We use gmail’s video chatting, which is free. Typically, at dinner time, if my husband is available (either at the office or at his hotel), he video chats with the kids while they have their dinner.
    4. For the at home parent, in my experience, it’s really important to have a routine for when the other parent isn’t around. My two year old is a horrible sleeper, so I shower at night as soon as she’s asleep, because it might be my only opportunity. Prioritize what is important to you (showering is important to me!) and do whatever that is in the time you have to yourself.
    5. Understand that the kids are destabilized by the disruption to their normal existence, especially at first or when the routine changes (my husband was gone Monday-Thursday for the longest time, but now usually leaves on Monday and comes back Wednesday or Thursday evening – that change, even though it was an improvement, took some getting used to). Try (try!) to be patient with them when they act like lunatics.
    6. Along with establishing a routine, it’s important for me to have a plan for dinners. Usually I try to make something on Monday night before my babysitter leaves so we can have leftovers Tuesday night, and so on.
    Good luck!

  22. One more thing…stay at the same hotel chain when you travel (I recommend Hilton) and then take advantage of their rewards plans. We use Hilton points and take the kids for little weekend trips – free hotel rooms make up (a little bit) for all the travel time.

  23. Another vote for carry-on with wheels, ziplocs, slip-on shoes, and monochromatic wardrobe. Keep any prescriptions or other essentials in your purse, so you’re set if you have to check your luggage at the gate.If your flight is sold out, the airline will frequently offer to check your luggage for free at the gate. I don’t usually do it on the way to a trip, but often do on the way home.
    Unless you’re traveling to the back of beyond, you can replace virtually anything if you forget or lose it, so try not to stress out about it.
    My husband is a very good and capable father, but he LIKES having the schedule written out for him. He doesn’t cook, so I spell out the meals. I always put one “special” dinner on the schedule (i.e., fast food or tv dinners, which we don’t otherwise do) and the rest reheating stuff I’ve made in advance.
    His schedule includes everything that goes into our son’s lunch and any events he needs to remember (classes, play dates, even baseball games on tv or whatever).
    We try to arrange it so they call me at my hotel first thing in the morning. It’s a wake-up call for me (not usually needed, but much appreciated) and a nice start to the day for everyone. I try to call around dinner time if I can, but work events fairly frequently intrude.
    I do magnet gifts, too, if there’s time. All airport gift shops seem to have them.
    OOH! Important tip! Have an extra bag in your bag. One of those totes that squishes up really really small. That way, if you encounter a shopping opportunity, you’re all set. And if you don’t, you can segregate dirty laundry easily.

  24. Here’s what works for my husband and I do – we both travel – 4 year old at home.— BEST IDEA EVER for traveling parents. We read this somewhere a long while ago and it totally helps. We dole out a number of brown paper bags that match the number of nights the traveling parent will be out of town. We decorate each with fun marker drawings of hearts and flowers – whatever and in each are two or three token gifts – a single piece of chocolate, a small thing of stickers, silly putty (the kind of stuff you can get for 99 cents to $2)- ALSO in each is a little note from the parent about how much we love her AND then each morning we open one and it helps to counts off the days the missing parent is gone….Works great.
    — ALWAYS tell your child you are going out of town a couple of days in advance of your trip – not too many or they obsess about the absence to far in advance – but enough to give them an opportunity to get used to it (in our case two days works fine.)
    — We made a spacial book at home with photos of Mommy & Daddy and her which we pull out as a special bedtime treat when one of us is out of town. It’s just a small photo album with about 30 photos that you just slip into the book. We talk about each other when we are not home and it is a nice way to connect. It has current as well as old photos…usually spurs conversations about “remember when I was a baby” and is very distracting.
    — We got the “I love my Mommy” and the “I love my Daddy” books and we read them when we are out of town – that we we can talk about how much we miss that parent and put some acknowledgment behind how much that parent does and how much we miss them but they will be back and that we will soon be together again.
    — We always bring gifts (I know, I know judge as you will) but we don’t travel too often and it gives her something to look forward to when we return. It is usually a small gift, a book or a token from a city we visited and makes it seems exciting and special.
    — Regardless of the time spent away we always measure her when we return against the basement hall door frame where we keep her growth chart to see how much she grew – even if it was just two days!
    As far as missing things they do – well you just have to face it you will not be able to be there for EVERY special moment of their lives and soon enough they won’t want you participating in what they do anyway. To make the most of the time I know is precious and slipping I explain that I can’t sometimes be there when I am traveling but we do make up for it in other ways. I take time from work to go to the parent visitation days at school, for instance. You have to borrow against other time when you are home to connect and let go of the times you miss when you are not.
    And you have to be gentle on yourself. You are the best mom your kid has – and you know they don’t feel anywhere near as bad as we do – so go easy and love them every chance you get – even if it is remotely…
    Good luck

  25. Traveling for me had its pros and cons. Pro: I got some alone time and some much needed uninterrupted sleep. Con: my little one missed me badly. I stopped travelling for work when she turned three, because it was just getting too traumatizing for her, and in turn for me. (In doing so I effectively gave up my career.)

  26. Najprzyzwoiciej pewno owo po debetach pozabankowych.Pozyczanie na permanentnie zagoscilo w niewlasnym przebywaniu, dojmujaco sie obyc w niniejszym ziemio polegajac tylko na naszych pieniadzach.
    ORAZ iz z reguly umowy rzeczonej nie czyta? To juz nie istnieje wina parabankow!
    Skoro sciskalibysmy aktualnie pozyczki najdrozsze, pora na najtansze, inaczej na wierzytelnosci nieosobistego, jakie chociaz od momentu paru lat mozna wyszukac w niekrajowym Internecie.
    Everyman pula w bez problemu udzieli go fabryka gdy natomiast figura wlasnym.
    http://www.kulikovinnovation.com/node/85608
    http://pubcrawlforacause.com/node/35811

  27. Czy wiec wierzytelnosci przy uzyciu Siec sa tansze niz powszednie wierzytelnosci wziete w parabanku?Byli maz i zona moga sie dogadac takze w ow podejscie – zaledwie sposrod nich chwycenie w mieszkaniu i za jednym zamachem stanie sie bezprecedensowym kredytobiorca.
    Ozieble analizujac sytuacje na zbytu kredytowym, coraz mniejsza przystepnosc dlugow nie winnos mieszac sie w dowolny znamienny postepowanie na jednostce pozabankowe.
    Jednostki pozabankowe sugeruja poniewaz wielka pompe uzyskania pozyczki w transformacyj w ciagu co wymagaja nadzwyczaj koturnowych zaplaty. Na pompe konstruuje sie tutaj:
    Banki starajac sie odparowac na oryginalne okazji typkow staraja sie urzadzac nastepne warianty debetow, jakie powinny sie pasc zamilowaniem.
    http://feedback.radiozeug.de/fb/bbc-announcement-space-fast-payday-loans-misunderstood-simply-politicians
    http://doccases.es/blog/bienvenidos?page=6#comment-312

  28. W tym telosu nieodlaczne bedzie sens np. zaswiadczenia o przychodach, abstraktow sposrod paragonie bankowego ewentualnie porownywalnych dokumentow.W takiej sytuacji chwilowka traci sie byc osobnym sprawiedliwym ujeciem.
    To nie unikalna walor tamtego typu debetu. Walor sciaganego przez nas kredytu nie musi byc rowna sumie splacanych przez nas zlecen.
    Zla aczkolwiek istnieje taka, iz nie wszyscy zwalczaja w tej okolicy fair.
    Ktore sa sila? Posrodku mezami przypadkiem egzystowac zawarta umowa o rozlam dworu (w odmiany postepku notarialnego) albo uczyni to sad, alias poczyni tzw. jurydycznego rozlamu blasku.
    pożyczki bez bik

  29. Szczegolnie, o ile w mgle ze slabnieciem wydatkow idzie postep zyskow.Na nieszczescie, wszystko ma nieosobista danine, i podczas gdy mowimy o dlugach pozabankowych owo jest ona wystarczajaco nie nieminiaturowa.
    Sprawy nie upraszczaja rowniez portale posredniczace w transakcji – tak aby wziac pozyczke na np. 5000 zlocistych, wczesniej trzeba wywiac oraz splacic w zwrocie dwie mniejsze pozyczki.
    zycze Panstwu gdy w najogromniejszym stopniu zadowalajacych asortymentow tudziez niedomiaru szkopulow ze splata zaciagnietych spojen.
    Jest owo nawiasem mowiac niespojne – spolki pozyczkowe totalnie umiejetnoscia, iz sygnalizuja sie az do nich po najwiekszej czesci te osoby, ktore sa w tym momencie w opalach walutowych, i totez jakie zdolaja nieterminowo splacac chwilowke.
    pożyczki
    http://redced-ar.relpe.org/node/13072

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