Q& no A: One child has to go to the bathroom and the other doesn’t

A situation that confounded me for a certain period of time, and is now plaguing an anonymous reader. I'll paraphrase (because the letter was very detailed):

"What do you do when you're out and your older child has to go to the bathroom but you're with a younger child, too?

I pack up the younger child with all his stuff and haul him along with us to the bathroom (and sometimes I can't even fit the stroller in the bathroom, depending on where we are). That's the best-case scenario. The other scenario is that the bathroom need comes on us so suddenly that I have no time to give a warning so the younger child freaks out and starts screaming and flailing not to stop playing and won't calm down when I say we're coming right back, so I can barely haul a kicking child with all of our crap to the bathroom and help my older one go."

I remember this, and it was my nightmare every single time it happened. My only real help is that eventually the younger one may be able to be convinced that when the older one goes, he should try to go, too. (One of my guiding principles of life is that when given the chance to use the toilet, one should. I'm passing that along to my kids, so they remind each other of it, and if one needs to go, the other one will try, too.)

What do/did you guys do? Is there some magic trick I completely missed? It's all the factors combined–the suddenness of the need in the older one, the resistance to change in the younger one, plus all the crap you have to haul around with two kids–that makes it so difficult.

Or do we all just grin and bear it until the kids are older?

0 thoughts on “Q& no A: One child has to go to the bathroom and the other doesn’t”

  1. Hmm – I don’t have toddler management experience yet, so can’t address that part, but is there any possibility of getting a stroller lock (I use a cable lock, about 6′ long, combination locking mechanism – meant for bikes) to lock up your stroller, maybe wind the lock through your diaper bag or other bag handles to prevent or at least discourage theft, and leave the great majority of your stuff outside the stall or bathroom? That would make the child wrangling part easier, I think.I have a related question, if I may piggyback onto the OP’s question which is: at what age do you stop bringing your opposite-gender child into the bathroom with you and instead – what? Let them go alone into ‘their’ bathroom while you stand guard immediately outside? If you’ve got no other adults with you, how do you handle this? At what age do kids usually express an opinion about which bathroom they use while out in public?

  2. Hmm – I don’t have toddler management experience yet, so can’t address that part, but is there any possibility of getting a stroller lock (I use a cable lock, about 6′ long, combination locking mechanism – meant for bikes) to lock up your stroller, maybe wind the lock through your diaper bag or other bag handles to prevent or at least discourage theft, and leave the great majority of your stuff outside the stall or bathroom? That would make the child wrangling part easier, I think.I have a related question, if I may piggyback onto the OP’s question which is: at what age do you stop bringing your opposite-gender child into the bathroom with you and instead – what? Let them go alone into ‘their’ bathroom while you stand guard immediately outside? If you’ve got no other adults with you, how do you handle this? At what age do kids usually express an opinion about which bathroom they use while out in public?

  3. I have a 3.5 yo (toilet trained) and a 2 year old (still in diapers but in the process of toilet training). I find it harrowing to be in a public washroom with the two because I’m always worried they’ll be touching things! This may seem silly, but I try to make sure to be PROACTIVE about bathroom needs – so everyone goes before we leave, and then I plan for a bathroom break if we’re going to be out for a while, so that it can be introduced to both kids calmly and without the urgency. (And then you can also mentally prepare yourself.)

  4. I have a 3.5 yo (toilet trained) and a 2 year old (still in diapers but in the process of toilet training). I find it harrowing to be in a public washroom with the two because I’m always worried they’ll be touching things! This may seem silly, but I try to make sure to be PROACTIVE about bathroom needs – so everyone goes before we leave, and then I plan for a bathroom break if we’re going to be out for a while, so that it can be introduced to both kids calmly and without the urgency. (And then you can also mentally prepare yourself.)

  5. My 3 yo is totally failing at Moxie’s School of Life because he refuses to use the bathroom unless he has to go. We play a little game (to try to find a fish/octopus/whale/bird) in the toilet, but that’s only if he hasn’t gone in a while (e.g. all morning long). This is usually ok because he seems to have a pretty iron bladder *and* gives a fair bit of warning when he has to go. The not-ok corollary is that he thinks it is great fun to pee on the grass, so he tries to convince me to do that even if we are near the house (or a Starbucks/library/actual toilet).My almost 5 will usually try to pee on command, but gives about 30 seconds of warning before she has to pee. And I can’t blame her because I was the same until I was 10 or 12 at least.
    @ eccentric libertarian: I don’t know–and this is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE with my whole heart the so-called family washrooms that you sometimes see in the big travel complexes on interstate highways. They should be required any place there are likely to be a lot of people, lots of bathrooms, lots of kids (sports stadiums, airports/train/bus stations, etc.).
    I feel like age 4 is hypothetically the “age of understanding” (the health club where the kids take swimming lessons asks that kids over 4 not use opposite gender facilities)…but the idea of letting a 5 year old use the bathroom alone in a place like an airport? No way.
    I’ve been known to haul everyone (me + 2 kids) into the handicapped stall so there is enough room for us + stroller + stuff without too much wandering around.
    Moxie, really, where are the trained monkey assistants?

  6. My 3 yo is totally failing at Moxie’s School of Life because he refuses to use the bathroom unless he has to go. We play a little game (to try to find a fish/octopus/whale/bird) in the toilet, but that’s only if he hasn’t gone in a while (e.g. all morning long). This is usually ok because he seems to have a pretty iron bladder *and* gives a fair bit of warning when he has to go. The not-ok corollary is that he thinks it is great fun to pee on the grass, so he tries to convince me to do that even if we are near the house (or a Starbucks/library/actual toilet).My almost 5 will usually try to pee on command, but gives about 30 seconds of warning before she has to pee. And I can’t blame her because I was the same until I was 10 or 12 at least.
    @ eccentric libertarian: I don’t know–and this is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE with my whole heart the so-called family washrooms that you sometimes see in the big travel complexes on interstate highways. They should be required any place there are likely to be a lot of people, lots of bathrooms, lots of kids (sports stadiums, airports/train/bus stations, etc.).
    I feel like age 4 is hypothetically the “age of understanding” (the health club where the kids take swimming lessons asks that kids over 4 not use opposite gender facilities)…but the idea of letting a 5 year old use the bathroom alone in a place like an airport? No way.
    I’ve been known to haul everyone (me + 2 kids) into the handicapped stall so there is enough room for us + stroller + stuff without too much wandering around.
    Moxie, really, where are the trained monkey assistants?

  7. Here is where the stroller and the handicapped stall are key. Whatever your position on baby wearing, non-baby wearing etc. a stroller is key for locking up one kid while managing the other one. As is constantly yelling “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” “OR THAT!”And should I tell the original poster now that it only gets worse when #2 begins toilet training, especially if you have #3 because then someone has to go every five seconds? Even if you make everyone go every single time you have to take one? I am intimately familiar with every single bathroom in a five mile radius of my house. Especially those in restaurants with lots of water and slow service.
    As far as opposite sex bathrooms, we are slowly getting there with our oldest, 5.5 and I have to say it’s a gut feeling thing. Airports, no way. Restaurant where we can see the door that we go to a lot, yes. And I have told my daughter that if anyone touches her or does anything at all that she is not comfortable with, she is to yell her head off. Thoughts?

  8. Here is where the stroller and the handicapped stall are key. Whatever your position on baby wearing, non-baby wearing etc. a stroller is key for locking up one kid while managing the other one. As is constantly yelling “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” “OR THAT!”And should I tell the original poster now that it only gets worse when #2 begins toilet training, especially if you have #3 because then someone has to go every five seconds? Even if you make everyone go every single time you have to take one? I am intimately familiar with every single bathroom in a five mile radius of my house. Especially those in restaurants with lots of water and slow service.
    As far as opposite sex bathrooms, we are slowly getting there with our oldest, 5.5 and I have to say it’s a gut feeling thing. Airports, no way. Restaurant where we can see the door that we go to a lot, yes. And I have told my daughter that if anyone touches her or does anything at all that she is not comfortable with, she is to yell her head off. Thoughts?

  9. I have had to go to the bathroom urgently and have taken a happily playing child kicking and screaming to the bathroom with me because when you gotta go…even if you just went. I was pregnant, so I went a lot. I explained (over the screaming) that mommy had to go and it hurts when you have to go and you wouldn’t want it to hurt me and we’ll be right back and I am not kidnapping this child; he’s mine and loves the library.As for age and opposite-gender bathroom…I’d say that I have seen special needs adult men in the ladies’ room with thir mothers, and because we have stalls, it does not faze me. As for letting my son use the men’s room by himself…depending on the setting and whether it’s a single seater with a locked door or a multi-seater with many urinals or an airport or restaurant, probably not until age 6 at the earliest.

  10. I have had to go to the bathroom urgently and have taken a happily playing child kicking and screaming to the bathroom with me because when you gotta go…even if you just went. I was pregnant, so I went a lot. I explained (over the screaming) that mommy had to go and it hurts when you have to go and you wouldn’t want it to hurt me and we’ll be right back and I am not kidnapping this child; he’s mine and loves the library.As for age and opposite-gender bathroom…I’d say that I have seen special needs adult men in the ladies’ room with thir mothers, and because we have stalls, it does not faze me. As for letting my son use the men’s room by himself…depending on the setting and whether it’s a single seater with a locked door or a multi-seater with many urinals or an airport or restaurant, probably not until age 6 at the earliest.

  11. The Potette (http://snipurl.com/hvo1w) is ALL THAT and a bag of chips. And apparently the new version also can be used as a potty seat on a regular toilet. On the playground, at the back of the store (farthest away from the bathroom, of course), even in parking lots; this thing has saved my patootie on many occasions.

  12. The Potette (http://snipurl.com/hvo1w) is ALL THAT and a bag of chips. And apparently the new version also can be used as a potty seat on a regular toilet. On the playground, at the back of the store (farthest away from the bathroom, of course), even in parking lots; this thing has saved my patootie on many occasions.

  13. Yes. LOVE the Potette; could not function without the Potette. We have the kind that can be used independently or sit on a regular toilet seat. I will say this about it, though – I don’t think it’s the most comfortable thing to hang out on for periods of time. We’re having a doozy of a time getting my two-year-old to decide she wants to put her poop anywhere but her pants when we’re out and about, and after a few minutes it’s all “DONE!” and “OWIE BUTT!” Aside from that, though, it allows us to use pretty much any bathroom anywhere, or we can set it right on the ground wherever we are if we need to. It’s awesome – just gives another option when dealing with baby-wrangling.

  14. Yes. LOVE the Potette; could not function without the Potette. We have the kind that can be used independently or sit on a regular toilet seat. I will say this about it, though – I don’t think it’s the most comfortable thing to hang out on for periods of time. We’re having a doozy of a time getting my two-year-old to decide she wants to put her poop anywhere but her pants when we’re out and about, and after a few minutes it’s all “DONE!” and “OWIE BUTT!” Aside from that, though, it allows us to use pretty much any bathroom anywhere, or we can set it right on the ground wherever we are if we need to. It’s awesome – just gives another option when dealing with baby-wrangling.

  15. Hey, Moxie- I’m having lots of trouble posting the past couple of days. It is no big deal, but I thought I’d say something in case you want to investigate. I push the post button and wait and wait and wait… and then it never posts.@Kate- don’t feel bad about your 3 yo not picking up on Moxie’s excellent life lesson about always using the bathroom when given a chance. It took a pregnancy and a particularly nasty traffic jam to really bring that lesson home to me!
    I have nothing on the original question, since my first is still in diapers and my second is still in the womb.
    @eccentric librarian- I think this one is easier for the moms than the dads, to be honest, since women do all their business in a stall. I don’t think a boy in the women’s room would freak me out until well past when he would insist on not coming in (I dunno- 8? 9?) but I have a hard time imagining a dad taking his daughter into the restroom with him once she’s over about 4. I have, in fact, been asked to “keep an eye” on someone’s 5 year old girl, being sent into the women’s room alone. I guess pregnant women wrangling toddlers look pretty non-threatening.
    As for the touching of things- yeah, I know its gross. But it is unlikely to be really harmful. Or at least it is no more likely to be really harmful than touching playground toys. At least in the bathroom, there is a handy source of soap and water to remove the germs the kid just touched!

  16. Ditto the handicap stall. Otherwise, I park the 2 year old in the stroller in front of the stall and the 4 year old does his business with the door open. I have even once or twice taken a shopping trolley into the loos with the little one in it and done the same thing. My 2 year old is always in the stroller when I have both kids with me (when I’m alone that is), so there is not need to pack anything or anyone away just yet. I know I will have to bite the bullet someday soon, but for the moment I will not allow the two kids to free-range around a shopping centre or any other public place.

  17. I have 4. The youngest is 2 months. I still have to help the 2 year old with underwear and wiping. I just keep the baby in a sling and take us all into the handicapped stall. I find that strollers to be cumbersome and not worth the hassle. I also don’t carry lots of ‘stuff.’ If it doesn’t fit in my mid-sized bag, then it doesn’t go with us.

  18. We deal with a similar problem — kid2, at 26 months, has to go fairly often while we’re at the park, or wherever else. Kid1, who is almost 4, often is the one who is upset at the disruption to her flow of whatever she’s doing. How old is old enough to duck into the bathroom with Kid2 and leave Kid1 on the playground for the 2 minutes it’ll take?

  19. We deal with a similar problem — kid2, at 26 months, has to go fairly often while we’re at the park, or wherever else. Kid1, who is almost 4, often is the one who is upset at the disruption to her flow of whatever she’s doing. How old is old enough to duck into the bathroom with Kid2 and leave Kid1 on the playground for the 2 minutes it’ll take?

  20. I don’t have any helpful advice, but I wanted to add that I wish public restrooms were set up a bit more family friendly. Last time I was in Ikea I used the ladies room and they had a little baby seat attached to the inside of the stall door. I thought it was genius (also a bit icky).

  21. I don’t have any helpful advice, but I wanted to add that I wish public restrooms were set up a bit more family friendly. Last time I was in Ikea I used the ladies room and they had a little baby seat attached to the inside of the stall door. I thought it was genius (also a bit icky).

  22. Wow, kudos to those with potty trained 2 year olds. My youngest is almost 2.5 & although he likes to pee in the potty, we are nowhere near potty training. Then again, I don’t so much train as put underwear on the kid at some point & hope for the best…We’re facing the opposite problem where my 4 year old is reliably trained but once the 2.5 year old is wearing underwear, I imagine we’ll have to drag his brother off to the bathroom too. They are only 16 months apart & 4 is still too young to be left alone while out in public IMO. They are usually fairly cheerful about the whole thing – I try to make sure we go potty first (before we go to the park, leave the house, etc.) and if we’ve been out & about we got as soon as we get to a fun destination (i.e., before the food comes, before we play at the park, before library).

  23. Wow, kudos to those with potty trained 2 year olds. My youngest is almost 2.5 & although he likes to pee in the potty, we are nowhere near potty training. Then again, I don’t so much train as put underwear on the kid at some point & hope for the best…We’re facing the opposite problem where my 4 year old is reliably trained but once the 2.5 year old is wearing underwear, I imagine we’ll have to drag his brother off to the bathroom too. They are only 16 months apart & 4 is still too young to be left alone while out in public IMO. They are usually fairly cheerful about the whole thing – I try to make sure we go potty first (before we go to the park, leave the house, etc.) and if we’ve been out & about we got as soon as we get to a fun destination (i.e., before the food comes, before we play at the park, before library).

  24. @yasmara- My two year old is still in diapers, too.Actually, we’ve decided to go with day care’s timing on this (they start actually training at about 2.5). This is purely a function of my laziness. They’ve successfully taught her to blow her own nose without anything more than surprised reinforcement on my part. I’m hoping they’ll do some magic on potty training, too.
    We do have a potty, which she sits on when she’s interested. And we make a big deal out of it when she does something on the potty. But actual training- I’m in no rush.

  25. @yasmara- My two year old is still in diapers, too.Actually, we’ve decided to go with day care’s timing on this (they start actually training at about 2.5). This is purely a function of my laziness. They’ve successfully taught her to blow her own nose without anything more than surprised reinforcement on my part. I’m hoping they’ll do some magic on potty training, too.
    We do have a potty, which she sits on when she’s interested. And we make a big deal out of it when she does something on the potty. But actual training- I’m in no rush.

  26. Sorry to go off topic, but can anyone remind me of good videos on potty training? we’re not getting anywhere, even with the uber-reward for my DD, stickers and a sticker poster beside the potty.

  27. Sorry to go off topic, but can anyone remind me of good videos on potty training? we’re not getting anywhere, even with the uber-reward for my DD, stickers and a sticker poster beside the potty.

  28. Ditto the handicap stall. And if the stall is unavailable, then I leave the door open and park the stroller or cart just outside. I could care less if some ladies “peeked”.As for the opposite gender washrooms, I would continue to bring ds (23 mos) with us (dd 4.5 yo) until HE is old enough to go by himself. And that would be after he’s 5-6 yo. I don’t think most ladies would mind to see a 5-6 yo boy in the washrooms. I rather know where my children are than care about someone’s discomfort at seeing a little boy in the same washroom. As for the change room at the swimming pool, there are family changing rooms.qa

  29. Ditto the handicap stall. And if the stall is unavailable, then I leave the door open and park the stroller or cart just outside. I could care less if some ladies “peeked”.As for the opposite gender washrooms, I would continue to bring ds (23 mos) with us (dd 4.5 yo) until HE is old enough to go by himself. And that would be after he’s 5-6 yo. I don’t think most ladies would mind to see a 5-6 yo boy in the washrooms. I rather know where my children are than care about someone’s discomfort at seeing a little boy in the same washroom. As for the change room at the swimming pool, there are family changing rooms.qa

  30. You mean if you’re someplace like the playground and one needs to go but the other doesn’t? You take them both, right?Is this a trick question? Maybe I don’t understand the problem?
    Or are you referring to the tantrum that one might throw at the prospect of having to inconvenience himself for the benefit of another? I don’t see that as any different than any other kind of tantrum. The activity (going to the restroom all together as a family) is either optional or it’s not. If not, the tantrum doesn’t change that.
    Living through public tantrums is a fundamental part of parenting. Three categories of people will see you. There are people who have ‘been there, done that’ — they understand. There are people who haven’t been there yet and think they would be able to prevent it (because of their obviously superior skills as a parent, negotiator and human being, natch) and frankly, if they aren’t judging you for the tantrum, they’d find something else. Also they’re totally wrong, so who cares what they think? And then there are the people who think children are {select one of: better seen and not heard, a pimple on the ass of society, horrid brats} — these people will glare, but they’re secretly pleased that you’ve once again proven the superiority of their positions.
    Not really an answer to the question that was posed. Sorry. Don’t mind me. Cranky and all that.

  31. You mean if you’re someplace like the playground and one needs to go but the other doesn’t? You take them both, right?Is this a trick question? Maybe I don’t understand the problem?
    Or are you referring to the tantrum that one might throw at the prospect of having to inconvenience himself for the benefit of another? I don’t see that as any different than any other kind of tantrum. The activity (going to the restroom all together as a family) is either optional or it’s not. If not, the tantrum doesn’t change that.
    Living through public tantrums is a fundamental part of parenting. Three categories of people will see you. There are people who have ‘been there, done that’ — they understand. There are people who haven’t been there yet and think they would be able to prevent it (because of their obviously superior skills as a parent, negotiator and human being, natch) and frankly, if they aren’t judging you for the tantrum, they’d find something else. Also they’re totally wrong, so who cares what they think? And then there are the people who think children are {select one of: better seen and not heard, a pimple on the ass of society, horrid brats} — these people will glare, but they’re secretly pleased that you’ve once again proven the superiority of their positions.
    Not really an answer to the question that was posed. Sorry. Don’t mind me. Cranky and all that.

  32. @ Jan, I think the crux of the issue is the time pressure and not being able to wait it out. Under normal circumstances, parents would either ignore the tantrum, walk away, put the child somewhere else until s/he can calm down, or try to negotiate. In a public area full of strangers when one child has to use the bathroom RIGHT NOW? Is not the time for any of those options. There is no wiggle room or a chance to negotiate. And if your hands are full of stuff and a stroller and all that, carrying the toddler (because of course it is a 18-48 month old throwing this fit) may not be an option.You do of course take them both. Whether or not you lose your mind in the process is the Q-no-A.

  33. @ Jan, I think the crux of the issue is the time pressure and not being able to wait it out. Under normal circumstances, parents would either ignore the tantrum, walk away, put the child somewhere else until s/he can calm down, or try to negotiate. In a public area full of strangers when one child has to use the bathroom RIGHT NOW? Is not the time for any of those options. There is no wiggle room or a chance to negotiate. And if your hands are full of stuff and a stroller and all that, carrying the toddler (because of course it is a 18-48 month old throwing this fit) may not be an option.You do of course take them both. Whether or not you lose your mind in the process is the Q-no-A.

  34. well, my 4 year old, possum, is still not trained (don’t ask!) and at this rate the 4 month old, bug, will be out of nappies before possum is.i think in this case that you just have to lump it. if you can pre-empt like some have suggested then that’s great, but otherwise you just go with the flow…
    personally, I wouldn’t be leave either of my kids alone in a public place for any length of time. i’ve probably watched too many movies where the mum turns her back for 30 seconds and the baby gets nabbed.
    as for boys in girl’s bathrooms and vice versa, I would take them for as long as they are comfortable, or longer if they start protesting before they are old enough to kick somebody in the balls… I still share showers with possum sometimes and he doesn’t seem to care.

  35. We followed (still do with 8 and 5 year old) the rule of “you have to pee before you leave the house.” And the adults do this, too – it’s not just a rule for the kids.I also explained to them ahead of time that whenever I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go. It doesn’t mean we won’t be back. But maybe it means we’re taking a bathroom break or a drink break or a snack break. They will get to play again! Either later the same day or another day. I would mention this several times – including right before they were unleashed on the playground or indoor play place or wherever. Then if someone had to use the bathroom and the other complained, I would just remind them of the rule. I KNOW that little kids don’t understand this necessarily, but it made me feel better that I had given a warning, and then they saw I was true to my word about coming back to play. I feel like I started talking about this as soon as I had my 2nd child – this helped my older child prepare for when I had to feed the baby or change her diapers. But I remember talking about this with both kids pretty early on.
    Last year when my son was 7, the 2 of us flew to visit my grandparents together. He, of course, had to use the airport bathroom and insisted he would be fine. (He was in 1st grade.) I spent the longest 3 minutes of my life loitering outside the men’s room. Someone came out and looked at me and said, he’s been washing his hands for awhile, so I yelled into the men’s room for him to hurry up.

  36. We followed (still do with 8 and 5 year old) the rule of “you have to pee before you leave the house.” And the adults do this, too – it’s not just a rule for the kids.I also explained to them ahead of time that whenever I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go. It doesn’t mean we won’t be back. But maybe it means we’re taking a bathroom break or a drink break or a snack break. They will get to play again! Either later the same day or another day. I would mention this several times – including right before they were unleashed on the playground or indoor play place or wherever. Then if someone had to use the bathroom and the other complained, I would just remind them of the rule. I KNOW that little kids don’t understand this necessarily, but it made me feel better that I had given a warning, and then they saw I was true to my word about coming back to play. I feel like I started talking about this as soon as I had my 2nd child – this helped my older child prepare for when I had to feed the baby or change her diapers. But I remember talking about this with both kids pretty early on.
    Last year when my son was 7, the 2 of us flew to visit my grandparents together. He, of course, had to use the airport bathroom and insisted he would be fine. (He was in 1st grade.) I spent the longest 3 minutes of my life loitering outside the men’s room. Someone came out and looked at me and said, he’s been washing his hands for awhile, so I yelled into the men’s room for him to hurry up.

  37. For whoever asked about potty videos, my dd loved Elmo’s Potty Time or whatever it’s called. Beware – you will get the songs in your head. You will. “Get yo’ body on the potty ’cause it’s…POTTY TIME!” etc.But, it gets the message across – it’s informational and fun.

  38. For whoever asked about potty videos, my dd loved Elmo’s Potty Time or whatever it’s called. Beware – you will get the songs in your head. You will. “Get yo’ body on the potty ’cause it’s…POTTY TIME!” etc.But, it gets the message across – it’s informational and fun.

  39. My almost 5 year old is pretty good about giving some notice on needing to pee (albeit frequently) and #2 is only 6 months old…Just TODAY, I marveled at my ability to drag both children and a grocery cart into the “family friendly” bathroom at Walmart. My daughter happily peed on the second commode (a tiny little one at her own height!) while I went next to her on the regular one, all the while baby in grocery cart. Then I dragged a free standing chair in to nurse the baby (after washing up). All this and there was still room for more! Walmart scores, at least this time.

  40. My almost 5 year old is pretty good about giving some notice on needing to pee (albeit frequently) and #2 is only 6 months old…Just TODAY, I marveled at my ability to drag both children and a grocery cart into the “family friendly” bathroom at Walmart. My daughter happily peed on the second commode (a tiny little one at her own height!) while I went next to her on the regular one, all the while baby in grocery cart. Then I dragged a free standing chair in to nurse the baby (after washing up). All this and there was still room for more! Walmart scores, at least this time.

  41. Hm. My younger is generally fairly compliant. He’s 26 months and nowhere near potty trained. Actually, strenuously disinterested. Which is difficult at the moment because my sister is staying wih us and her 18 month old daughter is completely potty trained (my daughter trained then, too. weird genes, I guess) and she (my sister) keeps saying “Don’t you want to be a BIG BOY and use the potty? Your cousin uses the potty and she’s YOUNGER than you.” Gah! It makes me want to pull my hair out and count the minutes until she leaves.Anyhoo – he’s generally good to go whenever we need to go anywhere, but once he starts training, my 4 year old will be trouble to move around. I have no idea what I’ll do then.
    Regarding public washrooms/gender – at our YMCA, opposite gender kids are welcome until they hit age 6, and then they can either use their own gender locker room on their own (boys or girls. there are seperate mens and womens for adults) or the family can use the special needs room. I see a lot of boys in the girls locker room who look 7 or 8, but not many older than that. It doesn’t bother *me* but I’ve had a fair share of 12 year old girls flip out over my son being in the girls’ locker room, even when he was 1 year old. So there’s that to consider. I plan to bring the kids with me into the bathroom until I’m good and ready to quit. That said, if she’s feeling strongly abouyt privacy and if it’s a single seater, we’ll let our 4 year old go to the bathroom alone with one of us standing outside the door.

  42. Hm. My younger is generally fairly compliant. He’s 26 months and nowhere near potty trained. Actually, strenuously disinterested. Which is difficult at the moment because my sister is staying wih us and her 18 month old daughter is completely potty trained (my daughter trained then, too. weird genes, I guess) and she (my sister) keeps saying “Don’t you want to be a BIG BOY and use the potty? Your cousin uses the potty and she’s YOUNGER than you.” Gah! It makes me want to pull my hair out and count the minutes until she leaves.Anyhoo – he’s generally good to go whenever we need to go anywhere, but once he starts training, my 4 year old will be trouble to move around. I have no idea what I’ll do then.
    Regarding public washrooms/gender – at our YMCA, opposite gender kids are welcome until they hit age 6, and then they can either use their own gender locker room on their own (boys or girls. there are seperate mens and womens for adults) or the family can use the special needs room. I see a lot of boys in the girls locker room who look 7 or 8, but not many older than that. It doesn’t bother *me* but I’ve had a fair share of 12 year old girls flip out over my son being in the girls’ locker room, even when he was 1 year old. So there’s that to consider. I plan to bring the kids with me into the bathroom until I’m good and ready to quit. That said, if she’s feeling strongly abouyt privacy and if it’s a single seater, we’ll let our 4 year old go to the bathroom alone with one of us standing outside the door.

  43. My 28 month old is still in nappies and frankly I’m not in any hurry to potty train her. My son trained overnight when the moment was ‘right’, by ‘right’ I mean, a dry nappy in the morning. I had tried 3 months or so before and he peed like a puppy all over the place. Needless to say, his nappy wasn’t dry on waking up.My daughter on the other hand still has a pretty wet nappy in the morning, so I am not going to stress myself out (or her for that matter) by ridding her of her nappy just yet. Occassionally she will ask to use the toilet and I generally oblige, but it really is hit and miss. Often she is just repeating what she has just heard her brother say.

  44. My 28 month old is still in nappies and frankly I’m not in any hurry to potty train her. My son trained overnight when the moment was ‘right’, by ‘right’ I mean, a dry nappy in the morning. I had tried 3 months or so before and he peed like a puppy all over the place. Needless to say, his nappy wasn’t dry on waking up.My daughter on the other hand still has a pretty wet nappy in the morning, so I am not going to stress myself out (or her for that matter) by ridding her of her nappy just yet. Occassionally she will ask to use the toilet and I generally oblige, but it really is hit and miss. Often she is just repeating what she has just heard her brother say.

  45. My kids tended to go to the bathroom at regular intervals. Say every 2 hours. So I would set my cell phone timer for 1.5 hours. When it rang, I would give a 10 minute warning. I made sure I phrased it as a bathroom break we all needed, it was not optional. Big sib and mom were both going to the bathroom. If it helps with the transitions, it could be snack time after the break, or something that they would look forward to.Good luck, the bathroom stuff definitely gets easier.

  46. My kids tended to go to the bathroom at regular intervals. Say every 2 hours. So I would set my cell phone timer for 1.5 hours. When it rang, I would give a 10 minute warning. I made sure I phrased it as a bathroom break we all needed, it was not optional. Big sib and mom were both going to the bathroom. If it helps with the transitions, it could be snack time after the break, or something that they would look forward to.Good luck, the bathroom stuff definitely gets easier.

  47. Amy – I don’t know how you managed with the airport potty story. I was stressed out just reading it. You get the nerves of steel award for today. I guess I would be more inclined to do that at Harisburg airport than O’Hare.

  48. Amy – I don’t know how you managed with the airport potty story. I was stressed out just reading it. You get the nerves of steel award for today. I guess I would be more inclined to do that at Harisburg airport than O’Hare.

  49. Video: Pottytime With Bear in the Big Blue House.Age to send opp. gender child to bathroom alone? My son is 7 and we send him to single stallers by himself, but he still wants to be with a parent for larger restrooms.

  50. Video: Pottytime With Bear in the Big Blue House.Age to send opp. gender child to bathroom alone? My son is 7 and we send him to single stallers by himself, but he still wants to be with a parent for larger restrooms.

  51. Can’t remember where I saw it, but somewhere a while ago there was a cute discussion among dads about how to take your little daughter into a men’s room. I think the consensus was you carry her, and have her put her face in your neck, all the way to the stalls. Sweet, and I had always wondered how that would work.

  52. Can’t remember where I saw it, but somewhere a while ago there was a cute discussion among dads about how to take your little daughter into a men’s room. I think the consensus was you carry her, and have her put her face in your neck, all the way to the stalls. Sweet, and I had always wondered how that would work.

  53. @ SarcastiCarrie – it was in DC, and it won’t happen again! It freaked me out quite a bit. Maybe next time, I’ll suggest he waits until we’re on the plane!

  54. @ SarcastiCarrie – it was in DC, and it won’t happen again! It freaked me out quite a bit. Maybe next time, I’ll suggest he waits until we’re on the plane!

  55. have to put in a plug for Diaper Free Before Three. It is a GREAT book. I started with my twin boys at about 11 months, based on a different book, and went really gradual until about 20 months, at which point I found PFBT, put them in training pants, and now at 26 months they are trained and perfectly happy to pee/poop when it’s convenient for us, rather than when they absolutely have to go. The whole process has been pretty painless and actually fun. And this is with twin boys!

  56. have to put in a plug for Diaper Free Before Three. It is a GREAT book. I started with my twin boys at about 11 months, based on a different book, and went really gradual until about 20 months, at which point I found PFBT, put them in training pants, and now at 26 months they are trained and perfectly happy to pee/poop when it’s convenient for us, rather than when they absolutely have to go. The whole process has been pretty painless and actually fun. And this is with twin boys!

  57. @SarcastiCarrie – this is totally off topic, but your choice of illustrative airports makes me wonder … is that the one nearest you? Be still my heart — could there BE another Moxite in my area?

  58. @SarcastiCarrie – this is totally off topic, but your choice of illustrative airports makes me wonder … is that the one nearest you? Be still my heart — could there BE another Moxite in my area?

  59. Not to scare anyone, but I would definitely instill in the kids from an early age that they should yell, tell you, etc. if another adult approaches them in the restroom and either says something inappropriate or touches them. This past week, a man approached a 10y/o in the men’s room at the local movie theater, asked him a sexually loaded question and then grabbed the boy’s bum before walking out of the restroom. The kid’s mom and siblings were right outside the door and he told them immediately what happened. The grabbed the guy who eventually admitted what he did.So, yeah, we have to eventually let them go into the restroom alone, but if they know how to handle a stranger, it can make a huge difference. Imagine how many parents are relieved to know that this guy is in custody, and he woudln’t be if the boy hadn’t spoken up right away.

  60. Not to scare anyone, but I would definitely instill in the kids from an early age that they should yell, tell you, etc. if another adult approaches them in the restroom and either says something inappropriate or touches them. This past week, a man approached a 10y/o in the men’s room at the local movie theater, asked him a sexually loaded question and then grabbed the boy’s bum before walking out of the restroom. The kid’s mom and siblings were right outside the door and he told them immediately what happened. The grabbed the guy who eventually admitted what he did.So, yeah, we have to eventually let them go into the restroom alone, but if they know how to handle a stranger, it can make a huge difference. Imagine how many parents are relieved to know that this guy is in custody, and he woudln’t be if the boy hadn’t spoken up right away.

  61. My oldest son is almost 11 years old, and it’s only been the past year that I’ve been able to let him go into the men’s room alone… but I’m outside waiting for him, and I always give him the “speech” before he goes in. “What do you do if someone tries to talk to you or touch you inappropriately?”The 3 year old son just potty trained himself, and he(gladly)uses the toilet in the women’s room with me in public. Otherwise, we take his potty seat in the back of our car, and he pees in it if we’re nowhere near a toilet. Thankfully he only poops in the late afternoon, so we’ve always been at home when that happens (and it’s still sometimes in the underwear, but he’s getting better!)

  62. My oldest son is almost 11 years old, and it’s only been the past year that I’ve been able to let him go into the men’s room alone… but I’m outside waiting for him, and I always give him the “speech” before he goes in. “What do you do if someone tries to talk to you or touch you inappropriately?”The 3 year old son just potty trained himself, and he(gladly)uses the toilet in the women’s room with me in public. Otherwise, we take his potty seat in the back of our car, and he pees in it if we’re nowhere near a toilet. Thankfully he only poops in the late afternoon, so we’ve always been at home when that happens (and it’s still sometimes in the underwear, but he’s getting better!)

  63. I always have a problem when I go out with my 2 year old daughter and my 4 year old son. My son needs to go a lot more then my little girl and am having to find public toilets most of my time. When I do that my daughter to the toilet I always keep my son with me and because I’m in the female toilets a lot of people stare at my son thinking that it isn’t right that he is with me. It’s fine when I’m out with my husband as he keeps my son while I’m with my daughter but he works all of the time. Public toilets can really be a nightmare some times.

  64. I always have a problem when I go out with my 2 year old daughter and my 4 year old son. My son needs to go a lot more then my little girl and am having to find public toilets most of my time. When I do that my daughter to the toilet I always keep my son with me and because I’m in the female toilets a lot of people stare at my son thinking that it isn’t right that he is with me. It’s fine when I’m out with my husband as he keeps my son while I’m with my daughter but he works all of the time. Public toilets can really be a nightmare some times.

  65. everyone looked surprised, they thought Cheap Air Jordans Man spotted belly 100,000 troops on the mountain, want to get 100,000 troops to achieve this goal, in the chaotic? Li a place on the planet, but, Wang Cheap Air Jordans ‘s require large out they were expecting. Cheap Air Jordans secretly smile, in fact, anxious to get these thousands of troops, and determined to win, but, with their understanding of the nature of some difference in terminology, in the final analysis, all aimed , requires that they willingly, not under the agreement in force. the crowd because Cheap Air Jordans does not show the strength of the people immediately believe the contrary, their eyes reveal the suspect is not difficult to imagine that there is not that a slave state, but the entire ? Li planet, nor is it an era, but for generations to come, because they experienced the pain of being a slave, the heart is extremely annoying that they are slaves, hate what they become slaves and aristocrats, like the wild days Sen positions so that the liberation of slaves in the Mountain Man belly is already very great, but they never thought to liberate all the slaves, Heaven has hundreds of thousands of troops were able to use Belly Man into fierce mountain terrain to reach the dragon the two countries do nothing, but he would not dare to attack a nearby town, and their shortage of troops, not to mention a country, of course, the whole? Li slaves on the planet that is more impossible, and would like to have not thought about. Cheap Air Jordans said management is now the world’s slaves, they understand what it means, that is, all countries with the world and against the nobility, on their belly Mountain Man this force, attack a town is hard, even as the capture of a town but also how, can be indifferent watching those noble slaves occupied the city, looked at them helplessly, of course, impossible, would discredit, this is all noble things, not that a state of things. easing their stress, wild days of storage Sen said: impressive, however

  66. everyone looked surprised, they thought Cheap Air Jordans Man spotted belly 100,000 troops on the mountain, want to get 100,000 troops to achieve this goal, in the chaotic? Li a place on the planet, but, Wang Cheap Air Jordans ‘s require large out they were expecting. Cheap Air Jordans secretly smile, in fact, anxious to get these thousands of troops, and determined to win, but, with their understanding of the nature of some difference in terminology, in the final analysis, all aimed , requires that they willingly, not under the agreement in force. the crowd because Cheap Air Jordans does not show the strength of the people immediately believe the contrary, their eyes reveal the suspect is not difficult to imagine that there is not that a slave state, but the entire ? Li planet, nor is it an era, but for generations to come, because they experienced the pain of being a slave, the heart is extremely annoying that they are slaves, hate what they become slaves and aristocrats, like the wild days Sen positions so that the liberation of slaves in the Mountain Man belly is already very great, but they never thought to liberate all the slaves, Heaven has hundreds of thousands of troops were able to use Belly Man into fierce mountain terrain to reach the dragon the two countries do nothing, but he would not dare to attack a nearby town, and their shortage of troops, not to mention a country, of course, the whole? Li slaves on the planet that is more impossible, and would like to have not thought about. Cheap Air Jordans said management is now the world’s slaves, they understand what it means, that is, all countries with the world and against the nobility, on their belly Mountain Man this force, attack a town is hard, even as the capture of a town but also how, can be indifferent watching those noble slaves occupied the city, looked at them helplessly, of course, impossible, would discredit, this is all noble things, not that a state of things. easing their stress, wild days of storage Sen said: impressive, however

  67. , what worked for me may not work for you but here’s what I did for my ltltie boy. When he was ready showing interest and peeing on the potty daily we went to full underwear (pull ups only at nap and overnight, if necessary). I had my son sit down to pee, because it was an easier concept for him to grasp (as opposed to aiming!) and it was easy to “catch” a poop, if that makes sense. If he was standing up and he discovered he had to poop, guess where it went?? EW! I started on a Monday and put him in underpants. I set the timer for every 15-30 mins, and we went to the potty. That ended up stressing me out, and throwing him off his game (though others swear by it!) On day 3 I said, “Forget the clock!” and I took him whenever he asked to go or if it had been more than an hour or two, we tried to go potty. We had a few accidents that day, but once he realized he was in control of when he went to the potty he was game!So we started on Monday and by that Sunday we took an all day trip to the zoo with no accidents. We started three days after his 2nd birthday.I hope you get some good advice here, and that you find what works best for you! With two, there may be more tricks you can try References :

  68. , what worked for me may not work for you but here’s what I did for my ltltie boy. When he was ready showing interest and peeing on the potty daily we went to full underwear (pull ups only at nap and overnight, if necessary). I had my son sit down to pee, because it was an easier concept for him to grasp (as opposed to aiming!) and it was easy to “catch” a poop, if that makes sense. If he was standing up and he discovered he had to poop, guess where it went?? EW! I started on a Monday and put him in underpants. I set the timer for every 15-30 mins, and we went to the potty. That ended up stressing me out, and throwing him off his game (though others swear by it!) On day 3 I said, “Forget the clock!” and I took him whenever he asked to go or if it had been more than an hour or two, we tried to go potty. We had a few accidents that day, but once he realized he was in control of when he went to the potty he was game!So we started on Monday and by that Sunday we took an all day trip to the zoo with no accidents. We started three days after his 2nd birthday.I hope you get some good advice here, and that you find what works best for you! With two, there may be more tricks you can try References :

  69. make up a song. my every time my neighbor used the potty we would saniwgy to go rachel way to go wee weeorway to go rachel way to go poo poo ever time she used the potty she loved it and it made WANT to us the pottystart leting him sit on the potty a good bit make sure his pants are down when he does sit on it so if he does happen to go you can congratulate him and he will know what its for. teach him to sit down first ans when he get 4 or 5 let your husband teach him to stand up. hope this helpsReferences :

  70. make up a song. my every time my neighbor used the potty we would saniwgy to go rachel way to go wee weeorway to go rachel way to go poo poo ever time she used the potty she loved it and it made WANT to us the pottystart leting him sit on the potty a good bit make sure his pants are down when he does sit on it so if he does happen to go you can congratulate him and he will know what its for. teach him to sit down first ans when he get 4 or 5 let your husband teach him to stand up. hope this helpsReferences :

  71. I think two might be a bit young. Boys tend to potty train later than girls.However, I wouldn’t use a poalbrte potty. Use the real toilette after all he sees you using it all the time and that might make more sense to him. Toddlers love to copy their parents.I would go to the store and make a fuss of choosing one of those cushioned seats to put on top of your toilette seat involve your toddler. They have really cute ones in the shop and they are really cheap.I would also put books next to the toilette and read short stories to him whilst he sits on there.Everytime he does something in the toilette, I would make a big fuss and reward him with a sticker and get him to stick it on a chart. Toddlers love stickers and maybe you could get some he has never seen before and use them just for potty training. Because your little boy is fairly young it might take some time, but be patient. There will be a lot of accidents at first, because remember they don’t know how to hold it since nappies teach them to pee at will. The reward system, is a good incentive to get your little boy to the toilette as often as possible and eventually he will actually use it too.Please also note that numbers twos are a bit harder to master and you should possibly tackle that after you got the first sorted out.When you are at home, put your little one in underwear, and expect to have lots of accidents. If they are badly soiled just throw them away.When he does accidents don’t get mad, just say maybe next time you can do it in the toilette and get that extra special sticker.Be consistent, when you are at home, try and do the same thing always and he will eventually get the idea. Use nappies at night.Good luck, be patient and positive.References :

  72. I think two might be a bit young. Boys tend to potty train later than girls.However, I wouldn’t use a poalbrte potty. Use the real toilette after all he sees you using it all the time and that might make more sense to him. Toddlers love to copy their parents.I would go to the store and make a fuss of choosing one of those cushioned seats to put on top of your toilette seat involve your toddler. They have really cute ones in the shop and they are really cheap.I would also put books next to the toilette and read short stories to him whilst he sits on there.Everytime he does something in the toilette, I would make a big fuss and reward him with a sticker and get him to stick it on a chart. Toddlers love stickers and maybe you could get some he has never seen before and use them just for potty training. Because your little boy is fairly young it might take some time, but be patient. There will be a lot of accidents at first, because remember they don’t know how to hold it since nappies teach them to pee at will. The reward system, is a good incentive to get your little boy to the toilette as often as possible and eventually he will actually use it too.Please also note that numbers twos are a bit harder to master and you should possibly tackle that after you got the first sorted out.When you are at home, put your little one in underwear, and expect to have lots of accidents. If they are badly soiled just throw them away.When he does accidents don’t get mad, just say maybe next time you can do it in the toilette and get that extra special sticker.Be consistent, when you are at home, try and do the same thing always and he will eventually get the idea. Use nappies at night.Good luck, be patient and positive.References :

  73. First, I would invest in a lot of paper telwos for cleanup!! : ) Here are a few tips that I have learned. Let him pick out a stool for stepping up to the toilet. (He can use it for washing his hands and brushing his teeth too.) Then turn the toilet water blue with one of those toilet freshening drop ins. Now, when he pees, the water will turn green! Take off his diaper and buy cool big boy underwear. They sell plastic underpants that you can wear over the underwear, and that helps with clean up. It also makes them aware when they go. Most of all, be patient. They will potty train when they are ready. I give 2 or 3 M&Ms for rewards. One of my kids didn’t potty train until she was almost 3 and one did it when she turned 2, so it depends on the kid. Oh, the other thing that worked was parking a potty chair in front of the TV and letting them sit there to watch TV. They would sit longer that way. Good luck!!!References :

  74. First, I would invest in a lot of paper telwos for cleanup!! : ) Here are a few tips that I have learned. Let him pick out a stool for stepping up to the toilet. (He can use it for washing his hands and brushing his teeth too.) Then turn the toilet water blue with one of those toilet freshening drop ins. Now, when he pees, the water will turn green! Take off his diaper and buy cool big boy underwear. They sell plastic underpants that you can wear over the underwear, and that helps with clean up. It also makes them aware when they go. Most of all, be patient. They will potty train when they are ready. I give 2 or 3 M&Ms for rewards. One of my kids didn’t potty train until she was almost 3 and one did it when she turned 2, so it depends on the kid. Oh, the other thing that worked was parking a potty chair in front of the TV and letting them sit there to watch TV. They would sit longer that way. Good luck!!!References :

  75. One thing I’ve noticed with my dogs (my lab and my Chi) is that they prtety consistenty need to potty every 2-3 hours when they are just hanging around the house playing, etc. We keep the back door open (they have a doggie door into the garage/back door) and they go out as they need to. However, when first potty-training him, we would take him into the bathroom and put him on a potty pad (or take him outside) and tell him to “Be Clean” (a book called something like 101 questions a dog would ask you told us to associate a phrase with going potty). Now when we take them out first thing in the morning (or in the middle of the night) we tell them to Be Clean and they go do their business. My little Chi (Jack) still has accidents, especially when he really needs to go and you dilly-dally on your way to letting him outside, but it’s just going to happen.References :

  76. One thing I’ve noticed with my dogs (my lab and my Chi) is that they prtety consistenty need to potty every 2-3 hours when they are just hanging around the house playing, etc. We keep the back door open (they have a doggie door into the garage/back door) and they go out as they need to. However, when first potty-training him, we would take him into the bathroom and put him on a potty pad (or take him outside) and tell him to “Be Clean” (a book called something like 101 questions a dog would ask you told us to associate a phrase with going potty). Now when we take them out first thing in the morning (or in the middle of the night) we tell them to Be Clean and they go do their business. My little Chi (Jack) still has accidents, especially when he really needs to go and you dilly-dally on your way to letting him outside, but it’s just going to happen.References :

  77. You don’t say how old you son is, but my guess is that he’s just a little too young at the moemnt. The other answers are spot on and I can only add that perhaps you could try a toilet seat rather than a potty as he might see you using the loo and want to be like Daddy, rather than a little boy. Also, try not to put too much pressure on him. Wait a week or two and try again. As for nursery, does he have to be dry there? My daughter goes to nursery part time and she has just gone off today with a bag of knickers as the first of her big girl’ days they are helping kick start it as it’s part of their job. I’m sure you and him will get the hang of it by September! Best of luck.References :

  78. You don’t say how old you son is, but my guess is that he’s just a little too young at the moemnt. The other answers are spot on and I can only add that perhaps you could try a toilet seat rather than a potty as he might see you using the loo and want to be like Daddy, rather than a little boy. Also, try not to put too much pressure on him. Wait a week or two and try again. As for nursery, does he have to be dry there? My daughter goes to nursery part time and she has just gone off today with a bag of knickers as the first of her big girl’ days they are helping kick start it as it’s part of their job. I’m sure you and him will get the hang of it by September! Best of luck.References :

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