Q&A: pacifier/swaddling double-whammie (4-month-old!)

Claire writes:

"Our daughter has always responded well to being swaddled.   Weswaddle her with her arms in at night and out for naps.  She won't
sleep long at night with her arms out – I've tried.  When she's
swaddled, she goes to bed around 7 or 7:30, wakes up once to eat
between 4 and 6 am, and then is up for the day around 7:30.  This is a
perfect schedule, and I'm not complaining about it – I don't even mind
feeding her in the night.  She's quick and goes right back to sleep
with a little cuddling.

So here's the problem – she wakes up anywhere from 2 to 8 times a
night and fusses.  All it takes (usually) is putting her pacifier back
in (in the dark), and leaving the room.  Every once in a while she'll
need to be cuddled back to sleep. 

I don't feel great about letting her cry, because her arms are
swaddled, so she couldn't even put her hand in her mouth if she tried,
and she's way too small to find the pacifier and put it back in (if her
arms were free).  So I'm not sure what to do.  Do I suck it up and
replace the pacifier when she cries (my husband bears the lion's share
of this job) or do I unswaddle her arms, and assume that after a few
nights of bad sleep, she'll get better at finding her hands/holding her
lovey?  Do I need to let her "cry it out" or delay my response time? 
The few times that we've let her cry (for just a few minutes), she
seems to get more and more frantic the longer she cries, so I'm not
sure if letting her cry will even be helpful for her. 

Any advice you have on this would be great!  She's a good sleeper
– this pacifier/self-soothing thing is just frustrating, and I'm not
sure what to do about the swaddle."

In the immortal words of The King (Elvis Presley): You're caught in a trap; you can't walk out. Because you love her too much, baby.

This is one of those completely time-dependent problems. Kids younger than this are so clearly helpless that there wouldn't be a question of replacing the pacifier. And kids older than this have usually broken free of the swaddle (although some kids stay swaddled for months more–if your kid is still happy with the swaddle, then keep going with it). The real issue, though is that the baby's waking up all the time, and that's just because 4-month-olds do wake up all the time. All. The. Time.

That's the real issue here–the 4-month Sleep Regression. Because otherwise, she wouldn't be waking up and realizing the pacifier was out of her mouth. Parents of older babies will testify that they can fall asleep with the pacifier in and have it fall out at a certain point and not realize it, because they're still asleep.

You know I think this whole "force them to cry when other things soothe them better" thing is utter crap, especially at such a young age. All you need is sleep, not to take an ideological stand about some alleged "habit" that's going to change once she goes through the developmental spurt anyway. Essentially, you just need to figure out how to get through this phase without having anyone in your household completely lose it.

If I thought loosening her hands would make her start sucking her thumb or fingers if she couldn't find her pacifier, I'd suggest it, but I've never heard of this happening. Pacifier kids seem to stick with pacis, thumb-suckers (represent!) stick to thumbs, and finger-suckers stick to fingers. PLEASE, if anyone out there has a kid who would switch back and forth to suck different things, post it in the comments, because I'd be interested to hear about your experience.

Also, if your 4-month-old can find her own pacifier or lovey in the crib in the dark in the middle of the night, strap yourself in because you are raising a true super-genius. Most 9-month-olds can't find their missing pacis or loveys, so if your daughter could at this age it would be an indicator that she was another Doogie Howser.

Basically, I'm saying that you're kind of stuck right now. I mean, you could try to wean her off the pacifier entirely, but that would really suck at a time that no one's getting much sleep anyway. Same with weaning her off the swaddle. And making her cry, when other things get her to sleep just fine and without stress, just makes no sense. The good news is that she'll start sleeping better in general in a week or two, so this won't be a huge issue anymore. You probably just want to divide up the pacifier replacement job (*cough* trained assistant monkeys *cough*) so neither of you takes the hit all the time. And keep lobbying for better parental leave in this country, because it's just ridiculously unfair that everyone has to be back at work at the exact time a baby's sleep goes haywire.

Anyone else feeling the pinch of 4-month-old sleep? Is it just me, or did a lot of people's babies wake up cartoonishly early this morning?

74 thoughts on “Q&A: pacifier/swaddling double-whammie (4-month-old!)”

  1. I’d go for weaning her off the paci. If you can get her down at night without it, it will only take a few days. You don’t have anything to lose, your up all night anyway.There is no need to let her cry, go to her and soothe her, just without the paci.

  2. One data point, my second son. Once he found his thumb and got into sucking it (maybe at about 9 months (?)) he completely lost interest in his pacifier. We did absolutely nothing to encourage this other than eventually stop keeping track of the pacifiers floating around the house to the point that they have all disappeared (he’s almost 1 now).

  3. My kids actually slept until a decent hour this morning (thank goodness!), but number 2 is 3.5 months as we speak. I am NOT looking forward to things in a couple of weeks. On the upside, my daughter’s 4 month sleep regression is how I found Moxie, so at least something good came of it! Maybe this time around I will win the lottery?

  4. At about four months we switched to a sleep sack with arms out instead of the swaddle. Mostly because she was starting to break out of the swaddle even with our super huge muslin blankets.I actually think Claire is pretty lucky – our bunny never took a pacifier so the idea that you could just go in, pop a paci in her mouth and be done with it? Would have been heaven when we were in the throes of the four month sleep regression (which took months to get over in our house).
    And yes! Bunny gets up between 7 and 8 regularly. Up at 5:45 this morning and would not go back to sleep. I’m just trying to keep my eyes open until naptime.

  5. Can you bring her into your room so you only need to lean over to rebink her?We are slowly coming out (please God) of the 4-month sleep regression/growth spurt plus teething! and daycare cold! and unexplained sudden huge drop in milk supply!
    So I have nothing but sympathy. Well and a little jealousy because my son is still getting up a lot to eat. And we cut way back on the pacifier in an effort to up with milk supply. “You want to suck? It better be stimulating my prolactin receptors, buddy!”

  6. As a survivor of the Four Month Sleep Rebellion (twice) I just wanted to offer my empathy and reassure you that is WILL PASS.Hang in there Mamas!

  7. our 4 month sleeping regression is teetering very closely to his SIX MONTH birthday (next week). gah!but first it was the sleep regression, then learning how to sit supported, then teething, then a cold, then more teething, etc etc….we do both paci + swaddle. ive thought about getting rid of the paci (ala pantley’s removal process), but im way too lazy. i remembered through this tired fog than our middle son managed to get through this and kept his paci till about 18 months..so another paci kid it is. eldest is a thumb sucker (from 3 mos on) and it was SO much easier.
    im all for the “however you get them to sleep through this stage till they remember how to sleep well again” type parenting. (assuming they did sleep well for a while. i have no advice, just sympathy for those parents with kids who just werent ever good sleepers!!!)

  8. Mine actually woke cartoonishly LATE, which sucks in its own special way because I need them to nap “early” so I can dump them on the babysitter when she arrives at 4:20 and go out for a cup of coffee ALL BY MYSELF. I totally have my priorities straight.I say if you can’t get the trained monkeys, just split up the paci-replacing for the next 2-3 weeks (either alternate nights, or have a shift-change at 1 AM) and get as much sleep as you can. It will end, eventually.

  9. Please don’t flame me but this is exactly when I started CIO with my son – in his case it was because he couldn’t go to sleep without the swaddle and he broke out of it every 45 minutes. After about a week straight of this, and one seriously demented night of me sobbing over my son begging him to stay asleep for just two hours – I went cold turkey on the swaddle and I did CIO a la Ferber. It was horrible – he cried for 2.5 hours the first night. I’m not really proud of myself because I wonder if I hadn’t been so tired whether I would have been able to look at the situation objectively and find another method that worked. But the end result is that CIO did work after three days. And we’ve all been sleeping 12 hours through the night ever since (he’s 17 months now).Re: the pacifier/thumb-sucking – until my son was about 5 months he would take a pacifier but he wouldn’t keep it in his mouth so I would have to hold it for him – but it did help send him off to sleep. Shortly after we tossed the swaddle (I think it was within a couple of weeks) he started thumb-sucking. And he’s still going strong.
    Any data points on whether thumb-sucking is hereditary? I sucked my thumb until I was…ahem…11.

  10. Hi Claire,I just have a few things to add. First of all, take a look at your nighttime routine. Do you just swaddle your baby up, then lay her down, and she goes to sleep? Does she have the binky in her mouth too? Could you create a routine with less crutches so that she falls asleep on her own? One thing you can try is to change up your routine so that you get your baby to the point at which she is drowsy, but still awake, as you lay her in the crib without the binky. If she is swaddled, try getting her really relaxed and leaving her arms free. The idea is for her to fall asleep on her own with minimal crutches. You can rock her to relax her while still laying her in her crib awake. Look for the signs that she is ready to doze off. Sometimes they yawn a time or two, or perhaps she rubs her eyes—this is the point at which to lay her down and say good night. Make sure she is closing her eyes and falling asleep on her own though. For more on sleep cycles and how they work along with more tips: http://tinyurl.com/c9zyos
    Regarding whether or not to cry it out, I’ll speak to that as both a parent and a parent coach. Babies have different temperaments. Siblings (as all of us know with multiple kids) can be so different. We tried the Ferber method with our oldest child, and it worked quickly, and worked well. So, I thought, great, we’ll just do this with the other kids at the same age. Well, it did not work with either of the other two. So, the point is, take the advice you receive, apply what resonates with you, but know that it may not work and you may have to go to Plan B (or C…). I work with parents on finding what works for them based on their individual situations.
    In addition, it is important to be cognizant of the developmental stage your baby is in if attempting to let her cry it out. Babies in this phase are at the stage where they need to develop trust, and responding to their cries is how they trust you. The trick is to balance this knowledge with the knowledge that babies and children do need to learn to fall asleep on their own at some point. I have found that how they go to bed at night can make a difference in nighttime wakings.
    A caution with letting her cry it out is that there may be reasons that your daughter is waking up so frequently. It could be that she is having a growth spurt and needs more food. If you haven’t started solid food yet, this may be something you want to discuss with your pediatrician. Is teething causing her pain? Perhaps it is just some developmental discomfort, but it is a good idea to investigate the cause—especially if the change is sudden. You certainly don’t want to have her ‘cry it out’ if she is uncomfortable.
    I hope this helps! Best of luck!
    Coach Nancy
    http://www.myparentingsource.com

  11. Funny, our baby was the same way. Loved the paci, loved the swaddle. We would be running to reinsert that thing a lot. I did have her in a cosleeper, which made it easier to reinsert. You might want to try that, since that’s all it takes.However, when we were at our most miserable, we had her in the swaddle, with the binky, in the swing… swinging for the whole night. The swing set-up seemed to immobilize her better than just swaddle in the crib, and the motion seemed to keep her knocked out for longer too.
    She’s now 7.5 mo, in a sleep sack (she started breaking out of the swaddle 3+ times a night), and no paci. That’s the rub with the paci/swaddle combo. As soon as she was out of hte swaddle, she kept grabbing the paci and playing with it.
    Good luck…

  12. Just weighing in with ‘sorry this sucks so bad’. It will get better. I am saying this because I am in exactly the same boat with number two and the only thing that keeps me sane is looking over at number one sleeping peacefully through the night.We found with number two that if we watched him he would wiggle his hands free and pull his soother out. We moved him into an old and not overly warm fleece snowsuit with hand caps. This solved the problem of the hands removing the soother and kept him warm without blankets. I know you aren’t at the break out of the swaddle phase yet (but you probably will be soon) and this has helped our son feel a little more restrained while moving him out of the swaddle so it may help you as a transition too.
    I would be hesitant to move away from the soother as both of my kids were really attached to it at this stage and it would be a real disruption to remove it. Why not sidecar your crib to your bed and put her in arms length for putting the soother back in?

  13. Nothing new to add about this difficult phase, but I have been there! My best advice is to roll with the punches.And, OMG, my baby did wake up way earlier than usual today! By more than an hour! Weird.

  14. Oh I can sympathize. My little one also needed to be swaddled and lost her binkie several times per night during her fourth month. It was awful. If I didn’t get there immediately, she would wake up completely and be up for at least 2 hours. I resorted to sleeping on the floor of her room so I could quickly pop up and replace the binkie. I also read everything Moxie wrote about the 4 month sleep regression a million times, just to get myself through. Eventually it got better.I did end up taking the swaddle away because she was working on rolling over and I was afraid that she would roll over and not be able to lift herself up. I also let her start sleeping on her tummy (which initially she would try to do but I would flip her). So tummy sleeping and the passage of time eventually resolved the issue. But 4 months was rough. Really, really rough.

  15. Nope, my little guy woke me up at 6:15 talking to himself in his crib next door. He’s been waking around 6ish for a week now and it’s driving me crazy! (He must know I was recently hired at a job that will require me to wake at 5:45 am twice a week.)He used to like the pacifier, when he was 0-3 months and still slept in the cosleeper. I would plug it back in and he would suck, sleep, wake, wiggle, I would plug it back in, lather, rinse, repeat. He kicked this habit himself around the 4 month mark. That’s when we transitioned him to the crib, he started refusing the paci, and within a month, he was out of the swaddle. About another month later he discovered his thumb and now he’s a thumb-sucker. In fact, that’s how I know it’s time to nap – he starts to suck his thumb. It’s really cute.
    Today is his 6 month birthday. 🙂 I can’t believe the 4 month regression was 2 months ago! Seems like ages ago!

  16. THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME with my daughter (now 15 months) and I felt exactly the same way… didn’t want to let her cry it out etc. We did, however, try everything… tried to ween from swaddle AND paci and nothing worked. So I gave in and just continued to put her paci in 3-4 times a night until she was about 9 months old and she magically weened herself from both. I really believe that every baby is different and will do things in their own time. If you’re like me (which it sounds like you are) then getting up to put her paci back in a few times a night is worth the price of not having to listen to her cry all the time. And is my baby spoiled because it? Certainly not. She knows I love her and am there for her when she needs me. So now, she is the easiest little toddler who goes right down for naps with no fussing and sleeps very well through the night. I seriously owe this to listening to my heart about what I felt was right for HER. Now I have another baby, a boy, and he is completely different. So I will have to try different methods with him. That’s just the joys of being a mother! You can even read about my struggles with my daughter and her swaddle/paci issues on my blog if you’d like.

  17. Oh my goodness. Thank you for this post. My twins will be 4 months on Wednesday, and the not sleeping literally had me banging my head against the wall the other day.It started with the naps about a week and a half ago. We’re down to 45 minutes tops, unless we’re holding them or they’re in a carseat.
    Up until two nights ago, they slept soundly from 7:45-12:30 and then 1-7 no problem. Apparently, that’s not ok anymore, and I was up at 3:30, 4:10, 5, 5:45 and 6:15 before I just gave up soothing them back down.
    I have really been having a rough time because I’m not someone who likes feeling bad at something, and no matter what I try, it’s not helping them sleep. It’s so nice to hear that there truely isn’t anything I can do. It just takes time.

  18. I have a little confession to make. For the life of me, I can’t remember what the heck was going on with DS’s sleep(less) pattern at 4 months! He’s 16 months old now, and what I’ve suddenly realized today is how quickly the bad memories of sleepless nights, of not knowing how to cope when you’re up at 3am — all of those will begin to fade away. I guess that’s how folks are able to go on to have more children!DS never wanted anything to do with being swaddled or taking a pacifier, despite our best efforts. He was only ever soothed at night by boob or bottle, picky little monkey. 😉 So we did that, and eventually DS started sleeping through the night, but I couldn’t tell you how or why. Whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright.

  19. My 4 year old sucks him left arm, but occasionally switches to his fingers when coerced. At present, along with the enormous bruises that he has produced, he has an enormous whelt on one of the 2 marks. His educators, my MIL, and everyone who sees the damage he has done to his arm, have told him how awful the marks are and how he is too big to still be sucking. The poor kid makes an effort to stop, but then resorts to what I beleive is actually worse and that is putting dirty fingers in his mouth. In fact, when he does suck his fingers he invariably comes home with a mouth full of ulcers or a stomach virus. I have told him I’d prefer him to suck his arm if he really has too. The ped says he’ll drop the habit when he is ready.

  20. If your DD still loves the swaddle I wouldn’t give it up right now. I tried one night in the sleep sack at four months(seems the natural progression from the swaddle) and went right back to the swaddle. IMO the four month regression is not the time to break the swaddle. We swaddled until she learned to roll onto her belly (at 6 mos and a bit) and then went cold turkey to the sleep sack (belly sleeping while swaddling is freaky looking, to me).This is my second kid and I am intentionally not making the same choices as with number one since I royally screwed up his sleep. My DD is a tension releaser, so crying works with her… but I can barely tolerate any crying so I had to force myself to figure it out. She literally shrieks like she is being tortured (well that what it sounds like to me) and then passes out cold in under 4 minutes. Clearly crying works for her. I’ll never know whether my son wanted to cry, I never let him try…
    I have no idea on the paci. I don’t use them. I prefer to be the human paci. My DD sucks her tongue b/c she was swaddled and it has worked for us. Seems to me you can choose to keep with it or quit cold turkey, really whatever solution is best for the whole family is the “right” one, IMO.

  21. In addition to everything else here, during the 4 month sleep regression, I found that wearing the wee beastie in a sling in the evening helped him sleep better during the night. I don’t know why, but it helped.As far as binkies go. He didn’t use either his thumb or a binky until he hit the 9 month regression, when he latched onto the binky. He still loves it today at 33 months. He wants nothing to do with his thumb.
    My sister and I were both thumb suckers. I have a feeling there is some genetic component to those that need to suck.

  22. Bekki, search “4 month sleep regression” or just “sleep regression” in the search box on the upper right f this site and you will find a ton of posts. Babies this age are going through cognitive developmental spurt and it just doesn’t let them sleep (you know how when you’re thinking about some problem or issue you just can’t fall asleep through it? Same thing.).So it’s nothing you did, and the game is to get through it, not to beat it, because you can’t trump development (and wouldn’t want to anyway!).
    Just a note about the earlier suggestion for “drowsy but awake”: Again, this depends on the kid. There are plenty of kids for whom this stage just doesn’t exist. My older one was (and still is) either awake or asleep. No half-state. So if I’d have tried to get him to go down drowsy but awake it would’ve been an abysmal failure. YMMV.

  23. Let’s see if this gets through!I still swaddle the Infanta (now nearly 9 mo) at bedtime, because I find it helps her know it’s time for bed. At this point, I leave her thumb-sucking hand out of the swaddle, but I still trap her other hand in. She breaks free of the swaddle easily, but by then it’s done its job. I was anxious for a while about how long I’ll be swaddling her, but I’m not any more; I don’t figure I’ll be sending her to college with instructions. 😉
    Yes, on the cartoonishly early rising. Standing up (holding on), ready to play, NOT wanting to sleep, at 4 a.m. Fortunately, bringing her back into bed with us still solves this.

  24. @Jac- you did what kept you sane, and your baby needed a sane mommy. I would hope none of us would flame you for that.On the original question- Pumpkin was still sleeping in a moses basket next to our bed at 4 months old, so I just reached down and put the pacifier back in. I couldn’t tell you how many times she needed that per night- I doubt I even knew that then.
    I do remember that Pumpkin was up A LOT in the night when she was about 5 months old. Hubby and I switched off- the schedule that worked best for us was to divide the night in half and each of us took one half. That way we both got some uninterrupted sleep. He usually had the first half- I pumped a bottle for him to give her, and got about 4 hours of sleep before my shift started. Yes, it sucks. But you get through it and it DOES get better- even if you have a generally not so great sleeper like our Pumpkin (who still does not sleep through the night at 23 months old).

  25. I was going to suggest having her in your room somehow as well, at least temporarily. Nothing worse than having to make that half-asleep stumble down the hallway when you can just reach over next to your bed.My DS hated the paci, and hated the swaddle. Once he found something to suck in addition to me (ahem), he was a “last two fingers” kid from then on. (ring and pinkie) Had to be those two, and on one of his hands only. I literally cheered when he found them and could fall asleep (when he would sleep) sucking them.
    He hurt one of his magic fingers at daycare several months later and it was no longer comfortable to suck on. Bam…within 2-3 days he was done with his fingers, never to suck again. I was pretty sad about that!
    I would also say, take care of yourself during this time period…babies sleep most deeply in the first sleep cycle, so if you can go to bed soon after she does (I know, I know, it seems unfair to go to bed so early), you can head off a lot of the sleep deprivation at the pass.

  26. Maybe it is different because I have twins but 4 months is when I finally had enough and we did some CIO. For naps, for middle of the night, not Ferber but complete “extinction” (tm Weissbluth). And we switched from swaddle to sleep sacks because my daughter was covering her face with her blanket when we swaddled her (although not breaking out). She started using her thumb when we put her in the sleep sack but she prefers the paci – I just won’t go give it to her when she wakes up. I’m a terrible mom I’m sure but both kids were sleeping through the night (11 hrs) within 1 week and two wonderful naps (1.5 hrs followed by 2 hr afternoon nap and short third nap). They are six months old and I never felt like we had a 4 month regression b/c that is when we finally progressed!

  27. Nothing but sympathy here. My daughter, now 2.5 years old (and sleeping beautifully, btw), was up 8-10 times a night from 4-6 months just for a paci pop-in. It was really hard. Hang in there.And yes, she was up WAAAY earlier than usual today, as was my neighbor’s little boy (also 2.5). WHat the heck??

  28. Yes, four month sleep regression. It got a lot better, then for some reason, about at 8/9 months, I was up anywhere between 3-5 times a night on paci patrol. At about this same time, DH stopped his share of paci patrol. I don’t remember how many weeks I put up with this until I said ‘ENOUGH!’, and we stopped pacis cold turkey. A little side note – my twins were on the paci pretty much 24/7. Very, very surprisingly, the night was a non-affair, and it was the BEST thing I ever did. The day was a little harder – super fussy for about 9 days, and no naps the first few days. But then it was all over.I will say that everywhere I have read, babies do actually have a strong desire/need to suck until the age of 6 months, after that it is pure habit. Cany you wait two more months? Do you work? Because if not, the old ‘nap when they nap’ saved my life the first few months.
    And to second Moxie, my guys are now 13 months, and they haven’t picked up thumb sucking as a replacement (yet).

  29. Oh, I hope my experience is not what you’re in for: we didn’t break the swaddle habit until 7 months! Good sleep came and went, but she needed it, it was so clear. And then we only gave it up because it stopped working, and then she was stuck on her back, no hands…We had to go cold turkey. Of course, that meant Beany could pull the paci out too … No, she couldn’t get it back in, either! Thus began our CIO saga. I sprinkled pacis all over the crib. Got glow in the dark ones, tried to teach her how to grab them…In the end, she cried, threw them out of the crib, grabbed her doggie, and never looked back. No paci, no swaddle…and sadly, no help from me either! Good luck!!!

  30. I had a swaddle issue when my girl was 5 months (repeated waking, she was huge and it was hard to find blankets big enough to keep her in, it was humid summer and no matter what I dressed her in she was a sweaty mess). I basically just left her arms out of the swaddle one night, and while she cried intermittently, the night after that she slept like a rock. Who knows why, but I think she was actually sick of being swaddled–it helped her get to sleep but then it was uncomfortable for her after that because of the heat and confinement, and she was crying because she wanted her arms free. She too was a paci girl, until a cold at eight months plugged her nose up and made it impossible to breathe and suck at the same time. Ever since then she won’t even look at a paci–uses a couple of little stuffed bears as loveys instead. Basically I have no advice to offer–every kid is so individual. But it does pass, so hang in there!!

  31. Second Brooke on just having the little one closer so popping the paci back in is easier. The path of least resistance is, in my opinion, the way to go at this age. And mine was still swaddled at, let’s see, 9 months? Whatever works – damn the torpedoes (and naysayers).And think of Hush’s post whenever you get frustrated – soon it will all be a distant memory.

  32. We experienced much of the same thing with our little guy (now 8 mos). The 4 month sleep regression was AWFUL. I remember thinking ‘Please don’t let this last forever, please. I can’t take it!’ And thankfully, it didn’t last forever.At 8 mos, our guy still sleeps really well being swaddled (& sleep sack on top – arms not used). I’ve tried to wean him off swaddling once at around 7 mos, and it was awful, so we’re sticking with it for now.
    At 4 mos, our guy woke up all the time too (mostly to fuss and often to eat). Eventually (around 5.5 mos I think), I was able to do a feed at 10 or 11pm & change his diaper before going to bed (even while he was asleep). This reduced his waking (out of habit or fussing) greatly and it only took me 2 nights of putting the paci back in to get him to fall back asleep himself after semi-waking, up until the normal 5 am feed time. Woo hoo! 5-6 uninterrupted hours of sleep for me!
    That lasted until about 7 mos when the flu and the next sleep regression knocked us back to many night wakings. But…after about 4.5 or 5 mos, he didn’t wake if his paci fell out. And now, he actually refuses to have it put back in after I do a night feeding or if he wakes up briefly.
    I definitely second the suggestion of having DD close to you in the night so it’s as painless as possible to get up to put the paci back in.
    Our challenge now is when/how to wean the swaddling as DS is starting to turn over occasionally in his sleep, and wakes up crying if he flips on his belly as his arms are pinned inside the swaddle/sleep sac. I just have to find the right timing when I can handle less sleep at night (yeah, um, that’s gonna feel like never, so I guess I’m just looking for the week I have more courage/determination, rather than less).
    Regarding the paci in general, our guy seems to be slowly weaning himself off of it (even falling asleep a couple of times w/o it), so we’re trying to follow his lead and not stick it in out of habit.
    Our guy had blissful sleep last night (and thus, so did mama) – 6pm to 5:30 am to feed, and then up at 7 for the day. The first time in a month that he hasn’t woken up every 2 hours to eat, and then woken up at 5 am wanting to play. I hope this is the new trend, not an exception. My fingers and my toes are crossed.
    Good luck and hang in there! It will pass, it really will.

  33. What the hell is up with the early waking – It’s not just us?!?My 3-year-old was up at 5:45 this morning. Not unheard of in these parts, though we’d just had a nice weeklong stretch of sleeping through with 7 AM wakings.
    Feeling your pain on the four-month sleep regression. Not much to offer, alas, since my kid and sleep aren’t exactly on cordial terms. But by the time they’re 3, even the most difficult sleepers are likely to sleep through reasonably often.

  34. God, I’m sorry, that wasn’t exactly comforting, was it?It does get better after each sleep regression, I promise. You *will* make it through.

  35. We’re right in the thick of the 4-month sleep issues. My DD refused the swaddle after 8 weeks but still loves her paci. She only needs it for sleeping and not while she’s awake, but I wish it was the other way around.DD started sucking her fingers at around 14 weeks (she’s almost 19 weeks now) and, during nap time, she does switch from paci fingers if her paci falls out after the initial placement and she’s not quite asleep yet. In the middle of the night, however, only the paci will do (sigh). I’ve actually watched her pull out her paci by choice and replace it with her fingers. But she still MUST have the paci to start. It’s like it must be HER choice.
    Unfortunately, none of this was my doing, so I can’t really offer any advice on how to get your little one to sleep without a paci. Although, a kid can’t choose to suck her fingers if they are always tucked out of range, so I would think you need to lose the swaddle before you can expect her to sooth herself without the paci.
    Oh… and mine DID wake up crazy early this morning. I live near Toronto. It would be interesting to see if the early-wakers live in a certain geographical area. Maybe a small earth tremor or something happened, something that we sleep-deprived parents wouldn’t even notice?

  36. The only advice I have on the sleep thing is I would move the baby into my bed. I am far too lazy to get up out of bed if I don’t *have* to. I have a binkie sucker & it is far easier to reach over & stick it back in for her than to get up. She is about to turn 10 months old and is too tired/upset to look for binkie herself (plus it is dark). The flip side is I am now night weaning and moving her into her own bed, but still easier than getting up 349578347 times per night!Mine got up slightly earlier today (like, half an hour?), but since she cannot crawl yet, I sat her on the floor w/ toys and went back to sleep on the couch 😀

  37. I’ve been debating whether or not to come back in with a more philosophical comment, and have decided to go for it.I think society in general has bought into a fiction about baby’s sleep- the fiction that the parents can control it. I think we can influence it, but only to an extent that is set by each baby’s biology, and over which we have no real control.
    CIO works for some families- that’s great for them and I genuinely am happy for them. But it won’t work for all families, and it is not always just because the parents can’t stand it. (And even if it is because the parents can’t stand it/don’t believe in it- so what?)
    Nothing works for all families, and for some kids, nothing works at all. I happened to have one of those kids, and I think all the subtle (and not so subtle) suggestions from the world around me that I SHOULD be able to “fix” her sleep and that a blissful full night’s sleep could be mine if I just tried X, Y, or Z only added insult to the injury of sleep deprivation.
    My life changed for the better when I finally stopped believing that my daughter’s sleep patterns were somehow my fault and that if only I was a better/more competent mother she would sleep through the night. Once I truly believed that, I could just shrug off the well-meaning (but useless) advice I got from people. I also stopped wasting so much energy trying to figure out how to “fix” Pumpkin, and instead devoted the energy to figuring out how to keep Hubby and me sane (and still happy with each other) through the tough sleep times.
    Don’t get me wrong- we still think about whether we should change things in our night time parenting. But we don’t stress so much about it, and have pretty much settled into a “whatever gets us the most sleep” mantra, with the exception that we insist Pumpkin start the night in her own bed. I really wish I had adopted this mantra much earlier (as Moxie recommends). Maybe it would have made me feel less incompetent during those early months. Certainly it would have saved me a lot of needless worry.
    OK, I’ll get off my soapbox. @Claire- good luck. I hope you get some good ideas from this thread. But if you read all these ideas and think “but we’ve already tried that!” please don’t despair. As Lisa says- even the most difficult sleepers get better eventually. And you will find a way to cope, trust me, you will.

  38. @ Cloud – I couldn’t have said it better myself! That’s a brilliant response and exactly how I feel.@ Claire – The 4 month regression was when we started to do some co-sleeping because usually a pacifier or a 5-minute nursing session would get the peanut back to sleep whether she was waking 3 or 6 times overnight. She started in her crib and came to our bed upon her first waking after we were in bed.
    We live by the “whatever gets us the most sleep” mantra because we know that our daughter CAN sleep through the whole night in her crib and that it takes a lot more time to get her back to sleep in her crib than back to sleep in our bed when something wakes her up.
    Make a plan with your husband for nighttime parenting while you are both awake and (relatively) stress-free, and stick to it at 3am when you are miserably tired. 🙂

  39. Word, Cloud!! Sometimes the idea that you Should Be Doing Something About It is the worst of all.Can’t offer much beyond empathy–I do think it was around this age that we gave up the swaddle, as Mouse seemed to be sleeping just as badly in it as out of it. Her sleep was pretty awful from 4 1/2 to 6 1/2 months and then bingo–down to one waking around 5 AM, which is where it stayed (in non-teething/illness/spurt times) until I weaned her. No paci experience at all–my little darling never deigned to suck anything but a breast in all her particular little life. No thumb, no paci, no bottle. Caused no end of stress and trapped feelings at the time. But you know what, that’s all a distant memory now too.

  40. This is the point when I got rid of the paci. I felt that his constantly looking for it when it fell out caused more disruption than it was worth. It was a difficult few days, but not much worse than we already were experiencing. Once he got used to being without it (maybe 4 days/nights?) he started sleeping through the night. Perhaps he would have anyway, who knows.

  41. Much empathy here. DD swaddled arms in until 6 months or so. She refused to take a binky, but one thing that occurs to me is whether you could just use a pacific clip to the swaddle blanket to make it easier on you/her to find it. Obviously use one of the safe ones with a very short strap length, but I wonder if that might help at all?

  42. I lucked out on the 4 month sleep regression. We only had 4 bad nights of sleep and she wasn’t napping well to begin with.I can say that my DD (4.5 months) interchanges between right thumb, 2 left fingers, and the binky. They all have their own uses. The 2 left fingers for when she’s awake and playing. The right thumb when she’s starting to get tired and when she’s sleeping. The binky now gets used if she’s beyond tired to find the thumb. Whatever works baby!

  43. My DD is now 6, but I so remember this. We kept her swaddled, let her suck to sleep with the paci, then did the “Pantley Pull” described in “The No Cry Sleep Solution.” Basically, you pull the paci at the perfect moment once they are asleep and get them to a point where they don’t need it for middle-of-the-night wake-ups. If I remember correctly, it was true that she could suck to sleep the first time, but them settle herself without paci later. If you search the book on Amazon, you can find the instructions. http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392#reader

  44. @Claire and BekkiClaire–I am remembering the pain. This all started the evening after I went back to work. We kept swaddling and reinserting the paci all. night. long. and then everything magically improved a couple of weeks later (right about the time when I was considering which neighbor was tempermentally suited to discovering twin 4-month-olds on her doorstep).
    Both DDs began to refuse the paci and sleep better at night, although naps continued to be exactly 45 minutes for a couple more months no matter what we tried. (I hope that last part is not the case for you, Bekki!)
    FWIW, both girls are now excellent, long nighttime sleepers and nappers. H is a thumbsucking-lovey-hugger and L is a mash-my-face-into-the-mattress-and-fuss-a-few–minutes-no-matter-how-I’m-feeling-just-to-help-me-relax-and-drift-off kind of sleeper.

  45. It’s so hard when they are so little! What ever you can do to all get as much sleep as possible is all I can offer!And holy! He woke up more than an hour early today, mostly undressed himself (he’s 16 months) and then screamed because he was cold!!!

  46. What the heck with the early waking today?? Bear is an 8-8:30 girl. Today– 7:00. UGGH.The first 4 months were totally awful. She took 20 minute catnaps. 24-7. Then she started sleeping pretty good ( hours at a time). Then after about a year old, she has always slept through the night. So, if you can survive the first year, it gets SO much better ! Yeah, the early months totally suck. And nobody warns you ahead of time, so you are just a sleepy, guilt-ridden glob of goo. But it really does get better.
    At age 4 she runs nonstop all day, then sleeps like a rock all night. Of course, I do too, because she wears me out 🙂

  47. Hi!I could have written this post 2 years ago. Word for word. We swaddled Little Boy until around 5 monthsh for night and not for naps. We also did the night time “pacifier dance” for what seems like months. I don’t regret NOT weaning him from it, he used it only to sleep, and well, it wasn’t worth it to us to take it away.
    I remember running down the hall at the first little cough/cry that meant his paci was out and he was wanting it. If I made it before he broke out into a cry, he’d never wake up. I got quite adept at hearing it/running down the hall/plopping it in in about 4 seconds and then going back to bed. It got to where I literally couldn’t remember how many times I did it each night as I think I was doing it my sleep.
    Anyway, I have no advice to offer except to let you know that this doesn’t last forever.
    What I did do was use a pacifier keeper (this one: http://www.amazon.com/530-MAM-Pacifier-Keeper/dp/B000056W6T/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1235437253&sr=1-2)
    I would attach it to his swaddle so I could find the paci in the dark very easily and shove that sucker (ha!) right back in without lights or further disturbing him looking for it. When we were able to unswaddle him, I attached it to his sleep sack for the same purpose. What happened without me realizing it, is he learned early on how to find his paci using his keeper and plop it in himself, a LOT faster and easier than if he was searching the whole crib for it.
    He still uses it at night and we still attach it to his jammies at night and I’ve watched him find it in his sleep and put it in without ever waking up.
    So, does what you’re going through suck? You betcha! Are you alone? No no NO! Will it last forever? No, just seems like it when you’re going through it.
    I would consider the paci-keeper idea though. It won’t make the “pacifier dance” go away right away, but I swear it helped me while I was going through it and in the long run made it easier for him to learn how to find his paci once he was unswaddled.
    Good luck!

  48. Oh honey, I’ve been there. I didn’t take the time to read what everyone else said (sorry!) but I went through this too. My husband and I split time sleeping in the bedroom next to my little girl’s for a month or so. I couldn’t handle letting her cry (and held on to that until she was *gasp* 10 months old…..) She was swaddled in a miracle blanket and that paci would fall out. I do agree that even if she had her arms, she wouldn’t have been able to find her paci. (We tried it…) I hoped putting 6 pacis in her mouth would help; surely she would turn her head and find one, right?, but she’s just not there yet. And I tried weening her off her paci but that just proved to be worse. And the swaddling? I didn’t stop swaddling her until after her feet didn’t fit in the miracle blanket. I have to say it is brutal. HANG IN THERE! You’re doing everything right, so please don’t doubt yourself for a second! And believe me, your child will sleep through the night eventually!

  49. “Is it just me, or did a lot of people’s babies wake up cartoonishly early this morning?”Ha! 4a.m.screaming because it was pitch black (power was out, snowstorm) in her room, once up she announced she was tired and needed a nap. That made 3 of us.

  50. We went through the same thing(other than he was breaking out of the swaddle and getting very angry about it AND losing his dummy (pacifier) 8 times a night) and it all turned out well so I thought I would share what we did.Firstly – we stressed about it. We couldn’t decide which to take away first – the dummy or the swaddle. OUr sleep guru said do the dummy first but we figured he would still wake up because of the swaddle. So we did the swaddle first. It was the hardest. A week of bad sleep and he FINALLY got used to sleeping in a sleep sack. We had to do the old “one arm in, one arm out” routine. One night he woke every 40 mins so we put him back in the swaddle at midnight as we couldn’t take it anymore. Anyway…we did one arm out at naps, then after a few days, that same arm out at night, then both arms out at naps then both arms out at night. Naps were rough as he would only sleep one cycle but like I said, we got there in the end. He had the dummy the whole time.
    So…then we took away the dummy. We just couldn’t handle getting up so many times. And we figured we were just teaching him not to sleep with a piece of plastic in his mouth. And he wasn’t sleeping well if he was having to cry 8 times a night. etc. etc. for us…it was just time to do it. I consulted the sleep guru and said “but how are we going to do it??? What are we going to do???” We never thought he would sleep without it. He would go to sleep so peacefully with it. Anyway…with pen perched over paper I waited for my guru’s response. She simply said “here’s what you’re going to do…you’re not going to give it to him.” Simple as that. We thought he would cry for hours and we stocked up with food and books for an “all nighter”. So… long story short….it took one night. We stayed right by his crib and patted and shh’d and it took about 30 mins for him to fall asleep. he was up 2 hours later and we did the same thing. Then he had a feed at normal feed time, and I think we had one other wake-up and that was it. It was so damn easy and we were SO stressed about it. We did the same thing at nap the next day and within a few days all was right in the world and no more 8 wake-ups to reswaddle or stick in the dummy. He slept much better.
    Sorry to ramble on. I just remember this time so distinctly (same age – 4.5 months) as it was so stressful. But the solutions ended up easy enough.
    Good luck.

  51. Mine did switch from pacifier to fingers/thumb or nothing, but it was very early. He only used the paci in the first 6 weeks or so, and never after that. He would use his hands, but rarely. He just sort of gave up the sucking.And, yes, he started waking up absurdly early then…and still does. I went back to work at 4 months, and he was often going down for nap #1 when the nanny would arrive at 7:30!

  52. BabyB went through this with her paci… it wasn’t until she was about 6 months old that she started figuring out how to put her own paci back in herself. (She was sleeping in a swing at that time, too.)Oh, happy day when she transitioned beautifully to the crib and learned how to put her own paci in! 🙂
    And yes, Moxie, BabyA work up at 2:30am today. ACK! We had no power last night, so with the super-quiet and my general edginess, it was a tough morning.

  53. OOps — forgot to add that we had (and still have) BabyB’s paci on a paci keeper ribbon too. At least that way it never gets too far away. It’s kind of funny now (@ 19 months) how she’ll reflexively fumble on her left shoulder to find the ribbon in her sleep.

  54. We went through this with Mr B at around 3 1/2 to 4 months and then again around 7 1/2 to 8 months or so. Not the swaddling (too friggin’ hot where we live to even consider it!), but the middle of the night binky replacement routine. He was still sleeping next to me for the first round, so it really wasn’t that big of a deal to just pop it back in before he was even fully awake. If he continued to fuss, that meant it was time for a feeding. The second time around involved a bit of a sprint across the hall. Both times he just grew out of it in a few weeks and went right back to sleeping through the night without a peep. He still uses a pacifier at night and at nap times at 15 months of age.It’s a bit counterintuitive to me, the idea that you should take away something that helps a baby to sleep right in the middle of a period when they’re having a hard time sleeping. I’d tend to try to introduce changes to routine at times when things were going more smoothly.

  55. I had the same experience with my son and, yes, just dealt with it by getting-up-again-to-give-him-the-pacifier.It was a nuisance, but it didn’t actually last that long. I don’t think we were still swaddling him at that point, but even so, he was not yet capable of finding and replacing his pacifier himself. It was a drag, but survivable, though it didn’t always feel that way at the time. He slept in a bassinet in our bedroom, and that helped — not far to go.
    Now that he’s older, I often leave several pacifiers near him in his crib to increase the probability he’ll find one in his groggy half-awake state and place it in his mouth, rather than just knocking it out of the crib as he flounders around.

  56. The only thing I have to add is that this is around the time we started being rewarded for our laziness.You see, the only decent sleep advice I got from anyone other than Moxie (“By Any Means Necessary” and “This Too Shall Pass”) was “walk don’t run” that I read somewhere. Give them just an extra moment to settle themselves before you help, the theory goes, and they might surprise you.
    Not that we applied this conscientiously or even consciously most of the time. We were just SO SO SO tired, even though le Petit was in a crib right next to our bed, it took me a minute or two to rouse myself sufficiently to pick him up and nurse him. (He never took a pacifier, so I had to adjust the pillows, sit up, pick him up — it felt like a great effort at the time.)
    As with everything, it depends on the baby’s needs and personality, but this delayed response turned out to be just what our son needed. At 4 months, it only worked 20% of the time, if that, but now at 19 months he soothes himself back quickly to sleep most of the time (now that we’re seeing the end — dare I write this — of the 18 month sleep regression.) And we still have to be ready to intervene quickly when he is actually winding up, not down.
    He never accepted a swaddle or a pacifier, so I’ve no idea how that might change things.

  57. my DS switched what he sucked on. he was a pacifier kiddo from week 1–only took it for sleeping, generally, but with it he slept pretty darn well for a tiny baby. then around 5 months, we went through an awful sleep regression. he suddenly stopped taking the pacifier and we were totally at a loss–we didn’t know what else to do to help him sleep. he wanted nothing to do with the pacifier. he ended up finding his fingers, and ever since then, has sucked his first two fingers (upside down–really unusual). he’s never used a pacifier since 4-5 mos, but at 18mos, still loves those fingers.

  58. Claire — this was totally us. I had these same questions, linked together — swaddle/paci dilemma.I think you can separate the two issues, because she probably won’t find the paci on her own, unswaddled, anyway. Not quite yet. We just powered through, replaced the pacifier over and over (and over). Eventually, she was rolling over and had to be weaned from the swaddle (we started with one arm out, then two arms out, etc), but it was still awhile until she could find the paci on her own and replace it.
    In other words, I don’t think the swaddle is what’s standing in the way of her pacifier-independence, so it it helps her sleep, keep swaddling. You’ll be slave to the binky for awhile still, but eventually she’ll be out of the swaddle and capable of finding the paci (or one of several strewn around — that was our technique).
    You aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just a waiting game, and it will pass!

  59. Are Paola and I the only ones with arm suckers? My DD sucks her left wrist, and has a large red/purple callous where she sucks. I have never seen a wrist/arm sucker before. She’s 18 months, and is still going strong on the wrist sucking, and has never taken a paci.@ all the mommies going through the 4 month sleep drama, you have my sympathy!
    Oh, and both of my babies were up for the day at 5 AM. Definitely early.

  60. If it makes you feel any better my baby is 7 mos old and the 4 month sleep awfulness seems like forever ago. Life is way more fun now. At the time I felt like I would never sleep again You will. Sleep again.

  61. I remember C’s 4 month sleep regression – by the 3rd night of only getting 1-1.5 hours sleep at a time (my husband can sleep through all but the most insistent cries), I thought I was going to loose it. I actually managed to get C to switch from paci to fingers – I started out during her naps, and just didn’t give her a pacifier. As long as she was tired, she’d go to sleep after ~20 minutes crying (if not, I’d get her back up & play with her some more). After a week of that, I noticed she was sucking her fingers on a regular basis. This was about the time the whole sleep regression thing started. So, after the 3rd night of no sleep, I decided it was time for her to find her fingers at night – and she did, relatively quickly. Now she’s an avid finger sucker, and uses the pacis only as toys (she loves knawing on them).

  62. I didn’t read every post, so please forgive me if I am repeating. I had the same problem with my little guy. From the time I put him down for the night until at least 10, he would cry for his pacifier every time it fell out…. I was sprinting up the stairs sometimes every 10 minutes, trying to get there before the whine became a wail.Interestingly, when I started putting him to bed earlier- between 6 and 7 instead of 7 and 8- it stopped completely. I’m guessing that he was overtired by the time I put him to bed and therefore unable to get into a deep sleep easily. I’m just guessing, though.
    One thing that I had considered (but luckily didn’t need it) was a “wub a nub” which is kind of a little beanie baby that holds the paci in place. You put it on the baby’s chest.
    http://www.geniusbabies.com/wubbanub-pacifiers.html
    Good luck. This will all be a distant memory sooner than you would believe!

  63. hugs to you, we found a Peke Moe http://www.pekemoe.co.nz was the answer for transitioning / weaning our baby from the swaddle. It was instant for him and he slept all night just like he had when he USED to stay swaddled! we also attached his paci to the front of the Peke Moe sleep sack with a short piece of fabric (less than 10cm, and it was pinned to the front of the peke moe) he learnt really fast how to put it back in.. worked well for us! good luck!

  64. Wow – thank you everyone! I have lots of tips – most of all it helps to know that it’s just a phase. It seems that we probably will stick to popping the pacifier back in for a while, but eventually she won’t need it. And we started swaddling with one arm out – it seems to be working, but I’m in no hurry to have both arms out!

  65. I have been having this exact same issue. My three-month-old son doesn’t like the swaddle any longer but was waking up a bunch during the night in which one of us would run in there and stick the pacifier in his mouth. I was exhausted by the morning, even if he slept a good amount. I also don’t mind the feeding in the middle of the night because it only lasts a couple of minutes and then he’s back out.So yesterday I read Chapter 5 of Dr. Ferber’s book on sleep associations. It made a lot of sense to me, perhaps it will make sense to you. I started yesterday with his afternoon nap to put him down without the pacifier. The first two naps were hard for him to get settled. Bedtime was a lot easier. And get this…he slept from 7:45pm to 4:00am without so much as a peep. I fed him (5 mins. top) and he went back down easily until 6:45 am. I feel like a new woman.
    Letting him cry for those two naps was very difficult. But for the first time in a long time, my little guy woke up from his naps and from the night with a huge smile. He finally got some consolidated sleep.
    I know a lot of people don’t like the Ferber philosophy, but I can say that for this situation it made a lot of difference. We’re sticking with it because we saw such a huge pay off.
    Good luck!

  66. Re: paci/thumb suckingMy little girl is 4 months old and switches from paci to thumb everyday! I put her down in her crib, swaddled, with a paci (for bedtime and for naps) since she was 3 months. During the day she will suck her thumb when she gets drowsy or upset. She will stick her thumb in her mouth while in the stroller, and fall asleep sucking it – but still takes to the pacifier every night and naptime! I find it rather interesting as well. That day at 3 months old when she found her thumb – i thought she’d never go back to the paci….
    So glad to have read this post. I have been having issues with her sleep recently (the past 2 days or so). Until now she has been a pretty good sleeper. After a 10:30pm feeding, wakes up at about 5am for a feeding, and then sleeping until 8! Recently she has seemed very “hyper” – babbling a LOT! Even when she is cranky and exhausted – shes babbling. Loudly. For 20-30 minutes! She hasn’t been napping well at all! Waking up every 30 minutes etc. and when i put her down to sleep, she lays in her crib and babbles away and laughs out loud to herself, refuses the paci etc. I leave her in the crib babbling until she starts crying (sometime 10-15-20 min) and then once she is crying she will take the paci and fall asleep – only to wake up shortly thereafter! I’ve been going NUTS!
    So happy to hear about this “4 month sleep regression” – doesnt help my headache at all :), but sure makes the issue easier to deal with! Thanks! Looking forward to next month 😉

  67. I have to say, reading some of these stories I feel a lot better knowing that we’re not the only one going through this. Shelby is 4 months old on 4/18 and we have a sleep schedule, she does fall asleep with the binky and goes down between 7-8pm. She’ll sleep pretty well for about 4-5 hours then the fussing for the binky starts anywhere but not every night, sometimes it’s only a few times and often times(especially at the beginning of her sleep cycle) she just fusses but falls right back to sleep and doesn’t really need her binky. It’s always a toss-up. I’m pretty lucky as my husband and I are on a schedule, I’m a working mom so he helps out a lot. I keep on reading various articles surrouding the cry=it-out method and the no-cry method and I just decided that I’m tired of reading all the methods, I’m just going to follow my motherly instincts and just be patient with her and hopefully it won’t take forever.

  68. I just googled swaddling baby at 10 months to see what alternatives / suggestions were out there and came across this forum. So reading down, it looks like there is this 4 month sleep regression thing that I seem to have missed out on.My little one (baby number 2) is 10 months next week and has never slept through the night. Up until 8 months he was waking every 2 hours to be fed – despite eating 3 good meals during the day and milk (albeit not enough). His nursery suggested swaddling him at night, as they had been doing this during the day and it seemed to work for naps, so I started this around 9 months. However, being a 9 month old boy, he is obviously a great escape artist and easliy wiggles free (not just arms, but right outof it!) when he is stirring. He does however settle much better when swaddled and also during the night once fed also settles better. I have also switched to formula for 2 night time feeds now (he’s on formula during the day too) and he has been going 4 hours from bedtime, then 3 ish hours, until I feed him early morning in bed with me (I am at this stage too tired to sit up!)
    The last 2 nights I have put him back into his sleeping bag, but he has really not settled well and each feed has taken longer to get him back to sleep…so I am now looking at swaddling him again, if only so we both get some decent(ish) sleep.
    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated….!
    A very tired Mummy in the UK

  69. That’s great stuff. Since I’m also very computer-centric, that’s a way that would work very well for me. appreciate hearing from you! I’m thinking of a couple others I’ll write up.Thanks you so much for all your kind compliments! I’m glad you find this site helpful!

  70. 4 month old daughter currently switches between sucking fingers and a pacifier. If she loses the pacifier she will comfort suck her fingers. However, my girl enjoys sleeping and her regression isn’t nearly as bad as some.

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