Q&A: 18-month-old vomiting every night before bed

Jess writes:

"I am really at my wit's end with this one.  My 18 month-old has neverbeen a good sleeper.  For the most part, he has been going to sleep by
himself at night (for the last 3 or 4 months anyway) with about 10
minutes of crying.  Sometimes longer, and if he's escalating and I
don't feel like listening to him cry for an hour I'll have to go into
his room and fall asleep with him on the mattress we have for that
purpose.

Anyway, for the last week, I will go through our normal bedtime routine
where, by the time I am singing him a song, he is drowsy and maybe
dozing but not in a deep sleep, but when I put him in his crib, instead
of just crying he will scream.  And it will go on for about 10 minutes
at which point he'll vomit.  Then we change his bedding, his pajamas,
brush his teeth again, and I will sing him another song.  The second
time around he'll go to sleep with barely 5 minutes of fussing.

At first I thought he either had a stomach ache, or we were feeding him
too soon before going to bed (he usually has dinner between 5:30 and 6,
and goes to bed anywhere between 7 and 8.  Sometimes he gets a small
snack right before bed).  But last night I tried to be preemptive –
after he had cried for 5 minutes, I went in, picked him up, and let him
cuddle.  He calmed down until I made to put him back in his crib, then
he cried, stuck his finger in his mouth (it didn't look that far to me,
but I suppose he could have triggered his gag reflex) and then a couple
of seconds later vomited all over me.

Is he doing this on purpose?  What do I do?"

Whoa. Sometimes I think I've heard almost everything, and then I get a question like this one.

If you'll remember back to the idea about tension increasers and tension releasers, the idea is that some kids gain tension by crying, so crying makes them get more wound up and unhappy. (These are the kids that need to be rocked or nursed or soothed to sleep.) You know you have one if leaving your kid to cry for even 20 seconds results in even more crying and having to work even longer to get your child to calm down. (My first son was the classic tension increaser. He sleeps just fine now.)

Tension releasers/decreasers, on the other hand, seem to need to cry to be able to fall asleep. It's as if they're creating a kind of white noise by crying that helps them shut down for the night. You know you have one if rocking or soothing to sleep seems to make them more upset and wound up, and if you leave them to cry for a few minutes and they start to wind down, and then drop off. (My second son was a classic tension releaser. He sleeps just fine now, too.)

But, here's the kicker: Kids can flex back and forth between the way they respond to crying during different stages and phases. (And I've had comments from readers that they have kids who are one way for nighttime and another way for naps!)

So it sounds to me like Jess' son is in a stage of being a tension releaser at night. (Are *any* of us shocked that he's switching sleep patterns right at 18 months?) He's creating the white noise he needs to shut down by crying.

All well and good. Except.

What's with the puking?? Is there some kind of release that he gets from the vomiting? Is it somehow resetting his system?

What payoff is he getting from the throwing up? It canNOT be comfortable to puke on yourself, and then have to get cleaned up. And there are easier ways to get more attention than making yourself throw up.

I'm baffled. Has anyone dealt with this? Anyone with experience with bulemia that can tell us if there's an endorphin rush accompanying vomiting? 'Cause it's just not making sense to me as a straight play for attention.

(I do, however, think that it's likely to go away on its own as part of the 18-month-sleep regression, so I don't think there are going to be long-term worries. It's just the right now that's INSANE.)

142 thoughts on “Q&A: 18-month-old vomiting every night before bed”

  1. Yikes. I’d seriously just lay in bed with him instead of letting him cry. I’m extremely anti-CIO but this kind of thing isn’t good for him. What’s the harm in laying with him until he falls asleep?

  2. Yikes. I’d seriously just lay in bed with him instead of letting him cry. I’m extremely anti-CIO but this kind of thing isn’t good for him. What’s the harm in laying with him until he falls asleep?

  3. Wow, that’s a rough one. My mom tells stories about me as a toddler – I would get mad and have a temper tantrum, get so worked up that I’d throw up, and then I’d fall asleep. She says I would wake up a couple hours later cheerful and refreshed, and she’d still be mad!Not the same thing, obviously, but maybe the disruptive nature of being 18 months old is making him so mad he’s throwing up?
    I think even if I was committed to CIO, I’d try laying down with him until he falls asleep until this passes, but that’s because I’m totally lazy and would do anything to avoid cleaning up the vomit every night.

  4. Wow, that’s a rough one. My mom tells stories about me as a toddler – I would get mad and have a temper tantrum, get so worked up that I’d throw up, and then I’d fall asleep. She says I would wake up a couple hours later cheerful and refreshed, and she’d still be mad!Not the same thing, obviously, but maybe the disruptive nature of being 18 months old is making him so mad he’s throwing up?
    I think even if I was committed to CIO, I’d try laying down with him until he falls asleep until this passes, but that’s because I’m totally lazy and would do anything to avoid cleaning up the vomit every night.

  5. I don’t have an exact situation, but I also have a 19 month old who has a really strong gag reflex and has now discovered that he can make himself vomit, almost on command. He mostly does this in the car. at first I thought it was motion sickness, so switched him to forward facing, and then I got to see him, smile, put his finger in his throat and barf, then continue to smile. He has done this at night as well, although not as often.I would aim for limiting your reaction as much as possible, in case this is an attention seeking situation. but I would also just avoid the situation as much as possible, and lay with him until it passes.
    for us, my 6 year old is now on hand holding detail while in the car to preempt the barf situation
    Abby

  6. I don’t have an exact situation, but I also have a 19 month old who has a really strong gag reflex and has now discovered that he can make himself vomit, almost on command. He mostly does this in the car. at first I thought it was motion sickness, so switched him to forward facing, and then I got to see him, smile, put his finger in his throat and barf, then continue to smile. He has done this at night as well, although not as often.I would aim for limiting your reaction as much as possible, in case this is an attention seeking situation. but I would also just avoid the situation as much as possible, and lay with him until it passes.
    for us, my 6 year old is now on hand holding detail while in the car to preempt the barf situation
    Abby

  7. Wow…I have a completely different take. I think he stuck his finger in mouth to show you where it hurts. Sounds like a nasty case of reflux to me. Even if he didn’t have it as an infant, it can still develop. I’d try giving him a kids tums (1/2 tablet of the kids dose for his age) about 1/2 hour before bed. If that works for a couple nights, get that sweetie on zantac.Poor little guy is probably just triggering the reflux by lying down. Good luck to you both…I can’t imagine changing sheets (and jammies, etc.) that many times. Ugh.

  8. Wow…I have a completely different take. I think he stuck his finger in mouth to show you where it hurts. Sounds like a nasty case of reflux to me. Even if he didn’t have it as an infant, it can still develop. I’d try giving him a kids tums (1/2 tablet of the kids dose for his age) about 1/2 hour before bed. If that works for a couple nights, get that sweetie on zantac.Poor little guy is probably just triggering the reflux by lying down. Good luck to you both…I can’t imagine changing sheets (and jammies, etc.) that many times. Ugh.

  9. Maybe he has silent reflux? I imagine you’d probably have seen something before this, but I have silent reflux myself and when my stomach is bothering me I feel much better after vomiting. It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s going on, but if nothing else works you might want to ask the doctor to rule that one out for you. I’d second the advice of laying with him for now except that my son will NOT go to sleep if I’m in the same room, no matter how exhausted he is. If your son is like mine that’s not really an option.

  10. Maybe he has silent reflux? I imagine you’d probably have seen something before this, but I have silent reflux myself and when my stomach is bothering me I feel much better after vomiting. It doesn’t sound like that’s what’s going on, but if nothing else works you might want to ask the doctor to rule that one out for you. I’d second the advice of laying with him for now except that my son will NOT go to sleep if I’m in the same room, no matter how exhausted he is. If your son is like mine that’s not really an option.

  11. My mom used to babysit a kid (probably about the same age) that would vomit to get attention. He would do it at meals and he was used to getting it from his parents. When my Mom realized what was happening she would catch him just before he did it and firmly say, “No, H. Do not throw up.”Eventally he learned she meant business and wasn’t going to fawn and dote all over him. He would still have to clean up or share or do whatever it was he decided he didn’t want to do.
    I’m with Abby on this one.
    Kids are VERY smart and know how to get attention (If I throw up, Mommy will come in, spend time with me, change my pajamas and sing and read to me again).
    Good luck and hopefully it passes soon! (That’s a lot of laundry!)

  12. My mom used to babysit a kid (probably about the same age) that would vomit to get attention. He would do it at meals and he was used to getting it from his parents. When my Mom realized what was happening she would catch him just before he did it and firmly say, “No, H. Do not throw up.”Eventally he learned she meant business and wasn’t going to fawn and dote all over him. He would still have to clean up or share or do whatever it was he decided he didn’t want to do.
    I’m with Abby on this one.
    Kids are VERY smart and know how to get attention (If I throw up, Mommy will come in, spend time with me, change my pajamas and sing and read to me again).
    Good luck and hopefully it passes soon! (That’s a lot of laundry!)

  13. Okay. There IS a tension release that comes with throwing up. I’ve been sick with with extreme nausea for over 10 years. This nausea can also be triggered by stress. I always, always feel much better after simply getting it *out*.

  14. Okay. There IS a tension release that comes with throwing up. I’ve been sick with with extreme nausea for over 10 years. This nausea can also be triggered by stress. I always, always feel much better after simply getting it *out*.

  15. I would tend to err on the side of caution, too, and take him to the doctor to make sure there’s no reflux issues, teething issues, or the like. If it’s just teeth, and he’s trying to chew on his fingers, dose him with ibuprofin or whatever you use. If it’s reflux, treat however your doctor recommends. And, though I am not anti-CIO (my 2nd son is a tension releaser), I would lie down with him to sleep for a few nights after you’ve started treating whatever you think the underlying issue might be, just to try to break the cycle. If that didn’t work, and since I’m pretty lazy, I’d put a sheet on his crib, a crib-size water proof pad, and another sheet, so that there’s less crib changing to do, and I might even layer his jammies too so that I can take off the soiled pair. Or put him in in a t-shirt, just to make it easier on myself. Oh, and I would NOT repeat the entire bedtime routine if you don’t have too. Night wakings in my house get significantly less to-do than bedtime routines, and I’d treat this as a night waking. Good Luck!

  16. I would tend to err on the side of caution, too, and take him to the doctor to make sure there’s no reflux issues, teething issues, or the like. If it’s just teeth, and he’s trying to chew on his fingers, dose him with ibuprofin or whatever you use. If it’s reflux, treat however your doctor recommends. And, though I am not anti-CIO (my 2nd son is a tension releaser), I would lie down with him to sleep for a few nights after you’ve started treating whatever you think the underlying issue might be, just to try to break the cycle. If that didn’t work, and since I’m pretty lazy, I’d put a sheet on his crib, a crib-size water proof pad, and another sheet, so that there’s less crib changing to do, and I might even layer his jammies too so that I can take off the soiled pair. Or put him in in a t-shirt, just to make it easier on myself. Oh, and I would NOT repeat the entire bedtime routine if you don’t have too. Night wakings in my house get significantly less to-do than bedtime routines, and I’d treat this as a night waking. Good Luck!

  17. I too tend towards to no CIO school, especially because when I tried it my little guy threw up every time. He got so worked up that he just puked.I would say to lay with him till he’s sleeping and then sneak out of the room, and if he’s still getting sick try the zantac or tums, or maybe even brew some chamomile or peppermint tea and let him drink some before bed (lukewarm, of course). Those are both good herbs for stomach upset/reflux/nausea, etc.

  18. I too tend towards to no CIO school, especially because when I tried it my little guy threw up every time. He got so worked up that he just puked.I would say to lay with him till he’s sleeping and then sneak out of the room, and if he’s still getting sick try the zantac or tums, or maybe even brew some chamomile or peppermint tea and let him drink some before bed (lukewarm, of course). Those are both good herbs for stomach upset/reflux/nausea, etc.

  19. SILENT REFLUX! (or not so silent, given the vomit)Poor little guy. It does sound like he is trying to show you where it hurts with his finger. Babies with silent reflux often try to gag themselves. And yes, it seems the being flat at bedtime is a trigger.
    My little guy has silent reflux and it wasn’t until Prevacid and tubes in his ears that he was able to fall asleep peacefully.
    Any other signs? Arching? Tilting his head to one side? Wanting to eat and then not wanting to eat? Sleeping on his left side?
    Hang in there and maybe you could consider a trip to the Ped GI?
    Good luck!

  20. SILENT REFLUX! (or not so silent, given the vomit)Poor little guy. It does sound like he is trying to show you where it hurts with his finger. Babies with silent reflux often try to gag themselves. And yes, it seems the being flat at bedtime is a trigger.
    My little guy has silent reflux and it wasn’t until Prevacid and tubes in his ears that he was able to fall asleep peacefully.
    Any other signs? Arching? Tilting his head to one side? Wanting to eat and then not wanting to eat? Sleeping on his left side?
    Hang in there and maybe you could consider a trip to the Ped GI?
    Good luck!

  21. At the risk of sounding like another person who doesn’t agree with using CIO (I’m not, but I don’t personally have any experience with it: my kid is definitely a tension-increaser), I’d like to pick up on what some of the previous posters have said about kids doing things like vomiting to “seek attention”. If someone’s kid is seeking attention, is it possible that they are doing it for a reason? That is, that they actually need some attention? I’m not trying to criticise the original poster — what I’m trying to say is that we North Americans and Brits (I’m a bit of both) can get very hung up on making kids be independent and not need their parents for things that they (the parents) know that the kid can do on their own (fall asleep, tie their shoes, whatever). But sometimes (as I think Hedra has pointed out before) asking for the parent’s help (or presence) while doing something is a sign that the child wants reassurance that if he asks, the parent will be there for him, even if the child should be able to do it on his own. It’s as if the child is saying “I know I can do it, and I know you know I can do it, but do you care about me enough to do it for me anyway, just because I have asked?”. I’m rambling a little here. I guess what I’m trying to say is what is wrong with asking for attention? And if attention is what the child needs — and by that I mean 100%, full-on, being present, paying attention, not just kind of being in the same room — what is wrong with giving it, if it means that the child can relax and go to sleep (tie his shoes, do whatever)?

  22. At the risk of sounding like another person who doesn’t agree with using CIO (I’m not, but I don’t personally have any experience with it: my kid is definitely a tension-increaser), I’d like to pick up on what some of the previous posters have said about kids doing things like vomiting to “seek attention”. If someone’s kid is seeking attention, is it possible that they are doing it for a reason? That is, that they actually need some attention? I’m not trying to criticise the original poster — what I’m trying to say is that we North Americans and Brits (I’m a bit of both) can get very hung up on making kids be independent and not need their parents for things that they (the parents) know that the kid can do on their own (fall asleep, tie their shoes, whatever). But sometimes (as I think Hedra has pointed out before) asking for the parent’s help (or presence) while doing something is a sign that the child wants reassurance that if he asks, the parent will be there for him, even if the child should be able to do it on his own. It’s as if the child is saying “I know I can do it, and I know you know I can do it, but do you care about me enough to do it for me anyway, just because I have asked?”. I’m rambling a little here. I guess what I’m trying to say is what is wrong with asking for attention? And if attention is what the child needs — and by that I mean 100%, full-on, being present, paying attention, not just kind of being in the same room — what is wrong with giving it, if it means that the child can relax and go to sleep (tie his shoes, do whatever)?

  23. I’m going to second the comments that suggest ruling out reflux AND ear issues. My son got horizontal a lot better after the tubes in the ears, and woke up a lot less.As for the fingers-in-the-mouth…I’m stumped. Maybe he’s trying to show you something that hurts — or maybe he’s just just REACTING to something that hurts, especially if it’s irritated by crying). Maybe it’s just instinct: my son stuffs his fingers in his mouth when he’s really upset/crying. I think it’s a throwback to his binky days: when he gets upset, he wants something in his mouth, and the fingers are what’s available.
    Good luck —

  24. I’m going to second the comments that suggest ruling out reflux AND ear issues. My son got horizontal a lot better after the tubes in the ears, and woke up a lot less.As for the fingers-in-the-mouth…I’m stumped. Maybe he’s trying to show you something that hurts — or maybe he’s just just REACTING to something that hurts, especially if it’s irritated by crying). Maybe it’s just instinct: my son stuffs his fingers in his mouth when he’s really upset/crying. I think it’s a throwback to his binky days: when he gets upset, he wants something in his mouth, and the fingers are what’s available.
    Good luck —

  25. I can relate to the wailing at bed-time ( although my kid has never gotten to the point of vomiting). I don’t want to be the prophet of doom, but it got worse for us at 20 months and then better for a while and then really bad at 23 months. What worked for us?? The only thing that consistently worked was staying with dd until she fell asleep ( sneaking out very quitely when she nodded off) and when she was getting better, telling her we were leaving the door open and we were just on the other side of teh wall. Eventually she got over it on her own.

  26. I can relate to the wailing at bed-time ( although my kid has never gotten to the point of vomiting). I don’t want to be the prophet of doom, but it got worse for us at 20 months and then better for a while and then really bad at 23 months. What worked for us?? The only thing that consistently worked was staying with dd until she fell asleep ( sneaking out very quitely when she nodded off) and when she was getting better, telling her we were leaving the door open and we were just on the other side of teh wall. Eventually she got over it on her own.

  27. My son is a tension increaser and sticks his finger in his mouth when he is about to throw up. He has never thrown up from being upset, but I can definitely see how it would happen. He stops breathing and then hyperventilates. It sounds like he needs you to fall asleep.Moxie-thank you for the tension increaser/decreaser idea. It has been so hopeful to us!

  28. My son is a tension increaser and sticks his finger in his mouth when he is about to throw up. He has never thrown up from being upset, but I can definitely see how it would happen. He stops breathing and then hyperventilates. It sounds like he needs you to fall asleep.Moxie-thank you for the tension increaser/decreaser idea. It has been so hopeful to us!

  29. Cassie, I hear what you’re saying, but offer this tale from my family history. As a toddler my sister learned how to pass out by holding her breath. Obviously the first time it happened a great fuss ensued. She liked the fuss (got lots of attention otherwise — she was the firstborn child of very attentive parents), and kept doing it. The pediatrician said, hey, ignore this, just walk out of the room when she does it and let her wake up alone, and she’ll soon stop. He was 100% correct, in fact it only took once. Perhaps fuss-seeking rather than attention-seeking is a better descriptor for such behaviors.I don’t know that this is a fuss-seeking behavior, though — could be, but boy I agree with Moxie that the payoff doesn’t seem worth it.
    I have a friend whose daughter would have mystery vomiting episodes who wound up with a diagnosis of celiac disease after a lot of waiting and wondering, but this sounds too regular timing-wise — her vomiting was more associated with when she’d eaten. But I’d agree with previous posters that it might be worth checking out with the pediatrician, and maybe check for celiac if no other medical explanation (like reflux) is forthcoming.

  30. Cassie, I hear what you’re saying, but offer this tale from my family history. As a toddler my sister learned how to pass out by holding her breath. Obviously the first time it happened a great fuss ensued. She liked the fuss (got lots of attention otherwise — she was the firstborn child of very attentive parents), and kept doing it. The pediatrician said, hey, ignore this, just walk out of the room when she does it and let her wake up alone, and she’ll soon stop. He was 100% correct, in fact it only took once. Perhaps fuss-seeking rather than attention-seeking is a better descriptor for such behaviors.I don’t know that this is a fuss-seeking behavior, though — could be, but boy I agree with Moxie that the payoff doesn’t seem worth it.
    I have a friend whose daughter would have mystery vomiting episodes who wound up with a diagnosis of celiac disease after a lot of waiting and wondering, but this sounds too regular timing-wise — her vomiting was more associated with when she’d eaten. But I’d agree with previous posters that it might be worth checking out with the pediatrician, and maybe check for celiac if no other medical explanation (like reflux) is forthcoming.

  31. MINE DID THIS. For 10 days around 18 mos. He nursed to sleep (cosleeping), woke up 5 mins later and launched. He would also puke if left to cry, but there was no crying involved at this phase. He’s always been a crummy sleeper but did not respond to reflux meds as a 5 mo, maybe I should try again. It did pass, of course.

  32. MINE DID THIS. For 10 days around 18 mos. He nursed to sleep (cosleeping), woke up 5 mins later and launched. He would also puke if left to cry, but there was no crying involved at this phase. He’s always been a crummy sleeper but did not respond to reflux meds as a 5 mo, maybe I should try again. It did pass, of course.

  33. We went through a very brief phase at 12 months with our son, when he woke up from a few naps and a couple of times in the morning, with barf in the crib and on him. He seemed happy as a clam.This was also around the time he was sticking his fingers in his mouth and gagging, although not to the point of barfing in front of us. We chalked it up to “exploration”, as he seemed happy and no crying or other indications of pain were present.
    Every now and then still (he’s almost 19 months) wants to stick his fingers in his mouth and gags himself, but seems to be distracted away from it fairly quickly. Overall I wasn’t, and am not, concerned.
    When it first happened we were a bit stumped, no one else we talked to had seen their kid do it; so it was nice (well, not nice that someone is going through this) to know that kids might be doing this for a variety of reasons. I had never even thought of reflux, but should he escalate the behaviour in the future I’ll get it checked out.
    Thanks for raising the question, and good luck to Jess (and others) hoping to see the end of this.

  34. We went through a very brief phase at 12 months with our son, when he woke up from a few naps and a couple of times in the morning, with barf in the crib and on him. He seemed happy as a clam.This was also around the time he was sticking his fingers in his mouth and gagging, although not to the point of barfing in front of us. We chalked it up to “exploration”, as he seemed happy and no crying or other indications of pain were present.
    Every now and then still (he’s almost 19 months) wants to stick his fingers in his mouth and gags himself, but seems to be distracted away from it fairly quickly. Overall I wasn’t, and am not, concerned.
    When it first happened we were a bit stumped, no one else we talked to had seen their kid do it; so it was nice (well, not nice that someone is going through this) to know that kids might be doing this for a variety of reasons. I had never even thought of reflux, but should he escalate the behaviour in the future I’ll get it checked out.
    Thanks for raising the question, and good luck to Jess (and others) hoping to see the end of this.

  35. I also agree with the idea of ruling out anything medical. That was my first thought, followed by triage of the nighttime routine, at least temporarily.I’d stay with the child until he’s asleep. All bets are off from 18-20 months when it comes to sleep. You won’t ruin him by spending more time parenting to sleep than usual; this is just a screwy developmental window. I found that we had much better sleep on the other side of it and much more natural inclination towards independent sleeping.
    Moxie, I am surprised at your assessment that he is a tension decreaser. The getting to the point of throwing up sounds like escalation to me. Maybe I am not getting this concept.

  36. I also agree with the idea of ruling out anything medical. That was my first thought, followed by triage of the nighttime routine, at least temporarily.I’d stay with the child until he’s asleep. All bets are off from 18-20 months when it comes to sleep. You won’t ruin him by spending more time parenting to sleep than usual; this is just a screwy developmental window. I found that we had much better sleep on the other side of it and much more natural inclination towards independent sleeping.
    Moxie, I am surprised at your assessment that he is a tension decreaser. The getting to the point of throwing up sounds like escalation to me. Maybe I am not getting this concept.

  37. At around 18 months, we went through a phase where we had to rock Pumpkin ALL the way to deep sleep before putting her down. Nothing else would work. Lots of crying and long bedtimes (like 30-40 minutes post lights out) ensued. It was not fun, but like so much to do with Pumpkin’s sleep, once we stopped trying to “fix” it and just tried to give her what she needed, it became less of an issue. We just planned around the long bedtimes.It passed- maybe after about a month?- and last night, I put her down very drowsy after 15 minutes of rocking, but not completely asleep, and she just rolled over and finished going to sleep. She is now 22 months old.
    So, if your doctor rules out reflux, etc., maybe you just want to spend the extra time on bedtimes for awhile, if that fits your parenting style.
    I can’t help much on the throwing up bit. Once, when Pumpkin was about 1 year old, I thought she was down and left her room to go to the bathroom. She woke up and SCREAMED and by the time I got back to her, she had thrown up. That pretty much sealed our decision not to try CIO with her. I much prefer rocking her to sleep to cleaning up vomit.

  38. At around 18 months, we went through a phase where we had to rock Pumpkin ALL the way to deep sleep before putting her down. Nothing else would work. Lots of crying and long bedtimes (like 30-40 minutes post lights out) ensued. It was not fun, but like so much to do with Pumpkin’s sleep, once we stopped trying to “fix” it and just tried to give her what she needed, it became less of an issue. We just planned around the long bedtimes.It passed- maybe after about a month?- and last night, I put her down very drowsy after 15 minutes of rocking, but not completely asleep, and she just rolled over and finished going to sleep. She is now 22 months old.
    So, if your doctor rules out reflux, etc., maybe you just want to spend the extra time on bedtimes for awhile, if that fits your parenting style.
    I can’t help much on the throwing up bit. Once, when Pumpkin was about 1 year old, I thought she was down and left her room to go to the bathroom. She woke up and SCREAMED and by the time I got back to her, she had thrown up. That pretty much sealed our decision not to try CIO with her. I much prefer rocking her to sleep to cleaning up vomit.

  39. I went straight to silent reflux, too.Reflux can change symptoms over time, but the worst time is usually early evening/bedtime for my kids. During stages like this, they may be more sensitive to it, as well – their physical function is ‘off’ so it may be worse than usual because of something to do with feeding behavior, digestive changes, etc.
    I would hie thee to a pediatric GI to rule out reflux ASAP.
    And this doesn’t negate the issues with oral exploration/intentional gagging. I did that, too, as a child. AND I have silent reflux. In fact, the tendency to put hands in mouth a lot is one of the signs that I was told was common with silent reflux, though it exists without that sign as well.
    I’m having some extra reflux in the last few days myself, and the only sign I get is that I’m aware of sensory information from the back of my mouth/top of my throat. It isn’t uncomfortable, I’m just very much aware that there is a THERE there. I can feel the space. I still get an urge to stick my fingers in and see if it feels the same from the outside (so to speak), though I don’t because I know it will cause gagging (’cause I’m big and I know that stuff).
    I’m wondering about slow gastric emptying, too – can play a role in the reflux issue, and if there’s that much puke ‘available’ at bedtime, that may be a player. When you see the GI (presuming you do), ask about a gastric emptying study, as well. Doing an upper GI scope at this age isn’t any parent’s dream, but trust me, you don’t want to end up where I was, at 5+ years old discovering that your child has been miserable every night of his life and you didn’t notice. Not my happiest parenting thought, you know? At least I caught on faster with Miss M, and got her on meds around a year old…

  40. I went straight to silent reflux, too.Reflux can change symptoms over time, but the worst time is usually early evening/bedtime for my kids. During stages like this, they may be more sensitive to it, as well – their physical function is ‘off’ so it may be worse than usual because of something to do with feeding behavior, digestive changes, etc.
    I would hie thee to a pediatric GI to rule out reflux ASAP.
    And this doesn’t negate the issues with oral exploration/intentional gagging. I did that, too, as a child. AND I have silent reflux. In fact, the tendency to put hands in mouth a lot is one of the signs that I was told was common with silent reflux, though it exists without that sign as well.
    I’m having some extra reflux in the last few days myself, and the only sign I get is that I’m aware of sensory information from the back of my mouth/top of my throat. It isn’t uncomfortable, I’m just very much aware that there is a THERE there. I can feel the space. I still get an urge to stick my fingers in and see if it feels the same from the outside (so to speak), though I don’t because I know it will cause gagging (’cause I’m big and I know that stuff).
    I’m wondering about slow gastric emptying, too – can play a role in the reflux issue, and if there’s that much puke ‘available’ at bedtime, that may be a player. When you see the GI (presuming you do), ask about a gastric emptying study, as well. Doing an upper GI scope at this age isn’t any parent’s dream, but trust me, you don’t want to end up where I was, at 5+ years old discovering that your child has been miserable every night of his life and you didn’t notice. Not my happiest parenting thought, you know? At least I caught on faster with Miss M, and got her on meds around a year old…

  41. I have to agree with a number of other posters that I think the first thing to do here is rule out any medical condition. The first thing I thought of was that maybe his molars are coming in and he reaches back to rub them, thus triggering the gag reflex.I also read this as him escalating to the point of vomiting, not that he is releasing tension by doing it. I would probably try laying down with him for a few nights to see if he just needs a little extra comfort during this difficult developmental phase.
    Really, it’s hard to tell whether this is a case of needing more attention or needing less. It seems safer to me to go with more attention at first, then try backing off if it doesn’t work. If you lay down with him for a few nights and he is still vomiting, then you know you need to go a different route.

  42. I have to agree with a number of other posters that I think the first thing to do here is rule out any medical condition. The first thing I thought of was that maybe his molars are coming in and he reaches back to rub them, thus triggering the gag reflex.I also read this as him escalating to the point of vomiting, not that he is releasing tension by doing it. I would probably try laying down with him for a few nights to see if he just needs a little extra comfort during this difficult developmental phase.
    Really, it’s hard to tell whether this is a case of needing more attention or needing less. It seems safer to me to go with more attention at first, then try backing off if it doesn’t work. If you lay down with him for a few nights and he is still vomiting, then you know you need to go a different route.

  43. Oh, and Miss M is definitely a ‘stuff whole hand in mouth’ kid. Was before she was born, at that (saw her sucking four fingers on ultrasound, once).Side note for this – if you have a kid who does a lot of hand-in-mouth, whether or not they have any reflux, do tooth brushing VERY COMPLETELY. There’s a lot more decay potential with kids who do this. That plus ropey saliva, plus reflux, plus mouth breathing, and you have potential major tooth issues (that is, Miss M and her two crowns by 2 years old). Sigh. Vomiting regularly will also dissolve tooth enamel (per a friend who had hyperemesis), and even just the fumes from silent reflux can erode enamel on the back sides of teeth (especially uppers). Mr G had that issue, as well.

  44. Oh, and Miss M is definitely a ‘stuff whole hand in mouth’ kid. Was before she was born, at that (saw her sucking four fingers on ultrasound, once).Side note for this – if you have a kid who does a lot of hand-in-mouth, whether or not they have any reflux, do tooth brushing VERY COMPLETELY. There’s a lot more decay potential with kids who do this. That plus ropey saliva, plus reflux, plus mouth breathing, and you have potential major tooth issues (that is, Miss M and her two crowns by 2 years old). Sigh. Vomiting regularly will also dissolve tooth enamel (per a friend who had hyperemesis), and even just the fumes from silent reflux can erode enamel on the back sides of teeth (especially uppers). Mr G had that issue, as well.

  45. A friend of mine’s older son did this as a toddler as well. When they tried CIO and she would leave him he would puke, every time. She watched him a few times and saw that he would shove his hand down his throat to vomit. He was doing it because he wanted them to come back and be with him to fall asleep. If they were there, he wouldn’t do it.He did eventually stop the puking and learn to go to sleep without them, although he needs a lot of reading/cuddle time.
    Not sure if that helps, but you’re not alone.
    My son goes to sleep for bed no problem. But if I lay him down awake for a nap, he will wail and then, no joke, poop. Every time. I hold him for naps most days. Ugh.

  46. A friend of mine’s older son did this as a toddler as well. When they tried CIO and she would leave him he would puke, every time. She watched him a few times and saw that he would shove his hand down his throat to vomit. He was doing it because he wanted them to come back and be with him to fall asleep. If they were there, he wouldn’t do it.He did eventually stop the puking and learn to go to sleep without them, although he needs a lot of reading/cuddle time.
    Not sure if that helps, but you’re not alone.
    My son goes to sleep for bed no problem. But if I lay him down awake for a nap, he will wail and then, no joke, poop. Every time. I hold him for naps most days. Ugh.

  47. I applaud Cassie | February 06, 2009 at 12:53 PM for her post.When a child is hungry we feed him. When a child is hurt we find a way to heal him. But when a child has a need that requires attention we think twice before filling that need. As already stated, in this country the parental goal is to make our children more independent as soon as possible. The problem is that shutting off a need for support and attention during the toddler and preschool stages could cause dependence, not independence.
    Is it possible that parents can gain independence by giving their child the support and attention they need when they need it? That brings up the question “how do I know if it’s a true need or just the child’s plan to get their way?”
    I would say look at the emotions the child is having as they’re doing this. Is she filled with fear and longing for the parent’s support. Or is she filled with anger and frustration, and only you know the difference.
    Trust your guts and you’ll know what to do. Pay attention to whether your child is a tension increaser or releaser that will also tell you which direction to go to fill his or her particular need.
    Filling a toddler or preschoolers needs creates a solid foundation that they can draw on so they can begin to fill their own needs as they grow. They need us in the beginning; these are first time experiences for them. They have no idea how to fill their own needs they need to be shown. Just saying “you will be okay when I leave” doesn’t register well with a toddler or preschooler. They don’t have the experience that they will be okay, that’s a future experience as far as they are concerned and they can’t relate. They live in the moment and are having the experience of how they feel right now, only.
    I would also suggest a visit to the Osteopath as well as the Pediatrician. My second child did this and we found he had a very sensitive gag reflex. Instead of drugs we wanted to resolve this and the Osteopath was the only one that could help us solve this. Also try putting something under his pillow so it raises up slightly and see if that makes any difference.
    Best of luck.

  48. I applaud Cassie | February 06, 2009 at 12:53 PM for her post.When a child is hungry we feed him. When a child is hurt we find a way to heal him. But when a child has a need that requires attention we think twice before filling that need. As already stated, in this country the parental goal is to make our children more independent as soon as possible. The problem is that shutting off a need for support and attention during the toddler and preschool stages could cause dependence, not independence.
    Is it possible that parents can gain independence by giving their child the support and attention they need when they need it? That brings up the question “how do I know if it’s a true need or just the child’s plan to get their way?”
    I would say look at the emotions the child is having as they’re doing this. Is she filled with fear and longing for the parent’s support. Or is she filled with anger and frustration, and only you know the difference.
    Trust your guts and you’ll know what to do. Pay attention to whether your child is a tension increaser or releaser that will also tell you which direction to go to fill his or her particular need.
    Filling a toddler or preschoolers needs creates a solid foundation that they can draw on so they can begin to fill their own needs as they grow. They need us in the beginning; these are first time experiences for them. They have no idea how to fill their own needs they need to be shown. Just saying “you will be okay when I leave” doesn’t register well with a toddler or preschooler. They don’t have the experience that they will be okay, that’s a future experience as far as they are concerned and they can’t relate. They live in the moment and are having the experience of how they feel right now, only.
    I would also suggest a visit to the Osteopath as well as the Pediatrician. My second child did this and we found he had a very sensitive gag reflex. Instead of drugs we wanted to resolve this and the Osteopath was the only one that could help us solve this. Also try putting something under his pillow so it raises up slightly and see if that makes any difference.
    Best of luck.

  49. I have to seconc Sharon aka Mommie Mentor and Cassie. If the child is “trying to get your attention” shouldn’t you give it to him? at 18 months? he’s just a baby and apparently does not want to fall asleep alone. I would think that giving him the attention he is asking for and apparently needs now will save you a lot of trouble down the line, meaning fill him up with your love and time and attention when he is a baby (and when he is obviously asking for it!) so that he feels safe and secure to venture out into the world. I’m not quite sure why moxie didn’t talk about this. It reminds me of the post a while back where people were talking about a change on this site. My favorite memories are of watching my child drift peacefully off to sleep in my arms.

  50. I have to seconc Sharon aka Mommie Mentor and Cassie. If the child is “trying to get your attention” shouldn’t you give it to him? at 18 months? he’s just a baby and apparently does not want to fall asleep alone. I would think that giving him the attention he is asking for and apparently needs now will save you a lot of trouble down the line, meaning fill him up with your love and time and attention when he is a baby (and when he is obviously asking for it!) so that he feels safe and secure to venture out into the world. I’m not quite sure why moxie didn’t talk about this. It reminds me of the post a while back where people were talking about a change on this site. My favorite memories are of watching my child drift peacefully off to sleep in my arms.

  51. I didn’t get through all of the comments, so perhaps this was suggested, but since we’re all speculating about whether he’s in pain from reflux or just wanting more mommy time or something else, I would say, ask him.I know, he’s probably not talking much yet, but at 18-mos., children really understand quite a bit. So maybe, before the crying starts, ask if it hurts anywhere, or why his hands go in his mouth, or a multiple choice, are you sad b/c you miss mommy/feel yucky/don’t want to go to bed. You might not get an answer, but if you do, then you’ll know!
    I’ll always remember an enlightening “conversation” I had with my daughter when she was just a bit older than a year–it solved a problem and made me realize just how much she understood and could communicate if it was something she cared about.

  52. I didn’t get through all of the comments, so perhaps this was suggested, but since we’re all speculating about whether he’s in pain from reflux or just wanting more mommy time or something else, I would say, ask him.I know, he’s probably not talking much yet, but at 18-mos., children really understand quite a bit. So maybe, before the crying starts, ask if it hurts anywhere, or why his hands go in his mouth, or a multiple choice, are you sad b/c you miss mommy/feel yucky/don’t want to go to bed. You might not get an answer, but if you do, then you’ll know!
    I’ll always remember an enlightening “conversation” I had with my daughter when she was just a bit older than a year–it solved a problem and made me realize just how much she understood and could communicate if it was something she cared about.

  53. @anon this time – It might be that Moxie didn’t talk about “giving the attention the 18-month-old needs” because such a response might have inadvertently hurt the feelings of mamas who use CIO.I’ve noticed here lately that many of the suggestions to try techniques such as co-sleeping have had to be qualified and edited down so much because we’re generally* such a caring bunch here and are maybe overly afraid of hurting each others’ feelings. Sometimes I feel afraid that some random mama out there who had to make a different but no less legitimate choice than mine might feel like beating herself up. So I don’t always make the AP-esque suggestions here for that reason.
    *there have been some VERY notable exceptions, sadly.

  54. @anon this time – It might be that Moxie didn’t talk about “giving the attention the 18-month-old needs” because such a response might have inadvertently hurt the feelings of mamas who use CIO.I’ve noticed here lately that many of the suggestions to try techniques such as co-sleeping have had to be qualified and edited down so much because we’re generally* such a caring bunch here and are maybe overly afraid of hurting each others’ feelings. Sometimes I feel afraid that some random mama out there who had to make a different but no less legitimate choice than mine might feel like beating herself up. So I don’t always make the AP-esque suggestions here for that reason.
    *there have been some VERY notable exceptions, sadly.

  55. No experience with reflux but I do know that my son can cry so hard he vomits. Usually it takes less than 10 minutes and calms down immediately afterward. I just figure all the wailing and open mouthed gasping screws his system up and he has to reset by spewing it all back up. He did this alot in the 12-24 month phase but no so much now that he’s almost three. I can usually keep him calm before the gag reflex sets in. Sounds like the crib transfer isn’t working for him. Have you thought of a toddler or big boy bed? My guy made the transition at about 18 months to a bed with a rail and goes to sleep a heck of alot easier now.

  56. No experience with reflux but I do know that my son can cry so hard he vomits. Usually it takes less than 10 minutes and calms down immediately afterward. I just figure all the wailing and open mouthed gasping screws his system up and he has to reset by spewing it all back up. He did this alot in the 12-24 month phase but no so much now that he’s almost three. I can usually keep him calm before the gag reflex sets in. Sounds like the crib transfer isn’t working for him. Have you thought of a toddler or big boy bed? My guy made the transition at about 18 months to a bed with a rail and goes to sleep a heck of alot easier now.

  57. I’m with “anon this time”. Sounds like the kid needs his mama to go to sleep and stay asleep. My little guy has been a crappy sleeper since day one and cried when we tried to put him in the crib.I’ll put myself out there to be lambasted. Babies (and an 18 month old is a baby to me) belong with their parents at night UNLESS it appears that they don’t want/need to be with their parents.

  58. I’m with “anon this time”. Sounds like the kid needs his mama to go to sleep and stay asleep. My little guy has been a crappy sleeper since day one and cried when we tried to put him in the crib.I’ll put myself out there to be lambasted. Babies (and an 18 month old is a baby to me) belong with their parents at night UNLESS it appears that they don’t want/need to be with their parents.

  59. My daughter didn’t ever routinely throw up before bed… but she did (and still does, sometimes) throw up when she cries. We ruled out reflux when she was doing it a lot. She’ll do it when she’s really upset, and/or crying for a long period of time. Many times at night when she’s very tired. And then once it’s done she can calm down right away.What it seems to be, for her, is a combination of the gag reflex being triggered by mucus running down her throat (yeah, yuck. She actually kind of choked a few times. Also we can sometimes avert it by getting to her with some tissues quickly) – and tension release. I definitely think there *could* be a tension aspect to this.
    We’ve done a few things to help keep it from happening – at first we just did whatever we could to keep her from crying hard, ever. Not very practical especially when they get to be 3 1/2…… so we taught her some breathing exercises which she sometimes remembers to do (with coaching) when she’s upset. We get kleenexes quickly. And we tell her, “Try not to get so upset, you’ll throw up.” Which actually surprisingly works. I think it increased her awareness of the feeling before it happens.
    Good luck!

  60. My daughter didn’t ever routinely throw up before bed… but she did (and still does, sometimes) throw up when she cries. We ruled out reflux when she was doing it a lot. She’ll do it when she’s really upset, and/or crying for a long period of time. Many times at night when she’s very tired. And then once it’s done she can calm down right away.What it seems to be, for her, is a combination of the gag reflex being triggered by mucus running down her throat (yeah, yuck. She actually kind of choked a few times. Also we can sometimes avert it by getting to her with some tissues quickly) – and tension release. I definitely think there *could* be a tension aspect to this.
    We’ve done a few things to help keep it from happening – at first we just did whatever we could to keep her from crying hard, ever. Not very practical especially when they get to be 3 1/2…… so we taught her some breathing exercises which she sometimes remembers to do (with coaching) when she’s upset. We get kleenexes quickly. And we tell her, “Try not to get so upset, you’ll throw up.” Which actually surprisingly works. I think it increased her awareness of the feeling before it happens.
    Good luck!

  61. I was a puker when I was older – like 3-5 years old. I would puke before kindergarden, I would puke when a babysitter would show up, etc…My guess is that this kid puked accidentally once and figured out his mom would come instead of letting him cry and now he gets what he wants.
    My little guy used to yell out “POOP” to get me to come upstairs. He knew that I took poop seriously. 🙂 Now he yells about needing his blanket put back on him. One night it was all about boogers. Kids are sneaky.

  62. I was a puker when I was older – like 3-5 years old. I would puke before kindergarden, I would puke when a babysitter would show up, etc…My guess is that this kid puked accidentally once and figured out his mom would come instead of letting him cry and now he gets what he wants.
    My little guy used to yell out “POOP” to get me to come upstairs. He knew that I took poop seriously. 🙂 Now he yells about needing his blanket put back on him. One night it was all about boogers. Kids are sneaky.

  63. I had to run out before I could finish my last post. As I was driving I was thinking about support, love and boundaries. Funny, this topic is what my newsletter is all about this month, coincidence?What is the definition of support? Because what works for one family often doesn’t work for another family? And since it’s not a one-size-fits-all-world I don’t adhere to one type of philosophy or ideal when I offer suggestions. My advice straddles many, many different philosophies and ideals so parents can meet the needs of the child, not the needs of the method.
    I believe you begin with your instincts, always and in ALL WAYS. Then you have to decide how to deal with the needs your child is presenting, that’s where the challenge is.
    For me it’s all about beginning with love. However, there are situations when love expresses itself in different ways. Love *is* staying with a child at bedtime and filling their needs. AND love *is also* creating a boundary that means stay in bed and don’t get out. It’s about what the individual child needs. *Both ways* to handle the situation are expressions of love. Love is complete attention and support AND love is setting a boundary too. You the parent are the only one who knows which is right for your child.
    Some situations need to begin with asking yourself, “if I were really little dealing with this what would I want and how would I want this to be expressed to me”. That’s why some times I answer a sleep post suggesting that a parent stay with their child until they fall asleep.
    Some situations use love and support yet still demand that a boundary be put in place. That’s why at times I answer sleep posts by giving the method of how to train your child to stay in there bed and not get out.
    Both fill the needs of the child, both use love, and both challenge a parent to use their instincts to see which method to use.
    What if the choices you make, supporting and staying with the child or creating a boundary are both handled with love and support? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate way to go?
    If in your heart of hearts you feel your child needs to CIO, then your instincts are telling you that your child may benefit from releasing his tension and finding his own way to self-soothe as he falls asleep. If your instincts tell you that you could never let your child CIO, then your instincts are telling you that he needs you to help him find comfort and safety and that’s what needs to happen for your child. Both scenarios require that a parent unconsciously use her instincts to read what the child’s needs are. Then parents have to decide *how* to implement their decision, whether it’s CIO or Stay with child both can be done with love and support versus resentment an anger. That’s why I do what I do, helping parents implement what ever their choice is based in love, support and the true needs a child has during these ages.
    I do believe that you need to figure out if this is reflux or any of the other things suggested here. I highly recommend a visit to an Osteopath as well as the Dr. Not just any type of Osteopath will do either. You want one who has worked on children and specializes in Cranial Sacral Therapy, it’s very specialized. One quick word on why I suggest an Osteopath so often, other than the fact that it saved my youngest son’s life.
    During the birth process the bones in the head are compressed as the baby makes the passage through the birth canal. If the tiny bones in the head do not unfold perfectly there can be all kinds of issues that arise. Sleep, reflux, stomach, digestion, and elimination issues fall perfectly into this range. Most issues are never connected to the unfolding of the head after birth, so we treat them with meds. If meds are indicated then it’s necessary, but in a lot of cases it can be done without meds. Parents can’t see any of this by just looking at their child’s skull, but an Osteopath can.
    Also, unless I’m mistaken this is not an exclusively AP site. It’s a site where Moxie encourages parents to do what works best for their individual family, even if others disagree. If your resolution, whatever it is for your family, comes from love, then I believe you can’t go wrong.

  64. I had to run out before I could finish my last post. As I was driving I was thinking about support, love and boundaries. Funny, this topic is what my newsletter is all about this month, coincidence?What is the definition of support? Because what works for one family often doesn’t work for another family? And since it’s not a one-size-fits-all-world I don’t adhere to one type of philosophy or ideal when I offer suggestions. My advice straddles many, many different philosophies and ideals so parents can meet the needs of the child, not the needs of the method.
    I believe you begin with your instincts, always and in ALL WAYS. Then you have to decide how to deal with the needs your child is presenting, that’s where the challenge is.
    For me it’s all about beginning with love. However, there are situations when love expresses itself in different ways. Love *is* staying with a child at bedtime and filling their needs. AND love *is also* creating a boundary that means stay in bed and don’t get out. It’s about what the individual child needs. *Both ways* to handle the situation are expressions of love. Love is complete attention and support AND love is setting a boundary too. You the parent are the only one who knows which is right for your child.
    Some situations need to begin with asking yourself, “if I were really little dealing with this what would I want and how would I want this to be expressed to me”. That’s why some times I answer a sleep post suggesting that a parent stay with their child until they fall asleep.
    Some situations use love and support yet still demand that a boundary be put in place. That’s why at times I answer sleep posts by giving the method of how to train your child to stay in there bed and not get out.
    Both fill the needs of the child, both use love, and both challenge a parent to use their instincts to see which method to use.
    What if the choices you make, supporting and staying with the child or creating a boundary are both handled with love and support? Wouldn’t that be the ultimate way to go?
    If in your heart of hearts you feel your child needs to CIO, then your instincts are telling you that your child may benefit from releasing his tension and finding his own way to self-soothe as he falls asleep. If your instincts tell you that you could never let your child CIO, then your instincts are telling you that he needs you to help him find comfort and safety and that’s what needs to happen for your child. Both scenarios require that a parent unconsciously use her instincts to read what the child’s needs are. Then parents have to decide *how* to implement their decision, whether it’s CIO or Stay with child both can be done with love and support versus resentment an anger. That’s why I do what I do, helping parents implement what ever their choice is based in love, support and the true needs a child has during these ages.
    I do believe that you need to figure out if this is reflux or any of the other things suggested here. I highly recommend a visit to an Osteopath as well as the Dr. Not just any type of Osteopath will do either. You want one who has worked on children and specializes in Cranial Sacral Therapy, it’s very specialized. One quick word on why I suggest an Osteopath so often, other than the fact that it saved my youngest son’s life.
    During the birth process the bones in the head are compressed as the baby makes the passage through the birth canal. If the tiny bones in the head do not unfold perfectly there can be all kinds of issues that arise. Sleep, reflux, stomach, digestion, and elimination issues fall perfectly into this range. Most issues are never connected to the unfolding of the head after birth, so we treat them with meds. If meds are indicated then it’s necessary, but in a lot of cases it can be done without meds. Parents can’t see any of this by just looking at their child’s skull, but an Osteopath can.
    Also, unless I’m mistaken this is not an exclusively AP site. It’s a site where Moxie encourages parents to do what works best for their individual family, even if others disagree. If your resolution, whatever it is for your family, comes from love, then I believe you can’t go wrong.

  65. when did this sight get so judgmental towards each other? I haven’t been continually on it for a few weeks and am saddened by some of the comments. We all have an opinion and have a right to express it – but to act contemptuous is the last thing we need. As mothers, we already have enough of our own guilt and “I’m doing it wrong” feelings!

  66. when did this sight get so judgmental towards each other? I haven’t been continually on it for a few weeks and am saddened by some of the comments. We all have an opinion and have a right to express it – but to act contemptuous is the last thing we need. As mothers, we already have enough of our own guilt and “I’m doing it wrong” feelings!

  67. I don’t have time to read any of the previous posters, but for what it’s worth, according to stories I was a puker myself around the same age. I don’t think I needed a finger to gag myself – I could just do it. And if I am to believe any of those stories, it was strictly a control thing. I could get my own way with anything to getting the sitter I wanted (I would simply boot on the ones I didn’t like… and they wouldn’t come back!) to getting extra attention. And then one happy day I outgrew it and my parents had a good laugh as I would sit on the floor and try and try to unsuccessfully do it. If you’re truly worried, I’d get a pedi consult, but it may be absolutely nothing but a control thing. Best of luck!

  68. I don’t have time to read any of the previous posters, but for what it’s worth, according to stories I was a puker myself around the same age. I don’t think I needed a finger to gag myself – I could just do it. And if I am to believe any of those stories, it was strictly a control thing. I could get my own way with anything to getting the sitter I wanted (I would simply boot on the ones I didn’t like… and they wouldn’t come back!) to getting extra attention. And then one happy day I outgrew it and my parents had a good laugh as I would sit on the floor and try and try to unsuccessfully do it. If you’re truly worried, I’d get a pedi consult, but it may be absolutely nothing but a control thing. Best of luck!

  69. OP here. Thank you all for the support and suggestions. We have a well-checkup next week and I will bring up the reflux concerns then.FWIW, my boy went to sleep tonight with 30 seconds of angry crying – this is what the norm is (not to be defensive, but sometimes the crying goes on for 10 minutes and as long as it’s not getting louder in that time, yes, we do let him just work it out for himself before he falls asleep). The new escalating was why I was/am worried.
    We made sure tonight that he was up longer between dinner and bedtime, to help his stomach digest in case that is the issue. I’m hoping it’s nothing more than a phase (4 of the last 5 nights), but if not I have some wonderful advice. Thank you.

  70. OP here. Thank you all for the support and suggestions. We have a well-checkup next week and I will bring up the reflux concerns then.FWIW, my boy went to sleep tonight with 30 seconds of angry crying – this is what the norm is (not to be defensive, but sometimes the crying goes on for 10 minutes and as long as it’s not getting louder in that time, yes, we do let him just work it out for himself before he falls asleep). The new escalating was why I was/am worried.
    We made sure tonight that he was up longer between dinner and bedtime, to help his stomach digest in case that is the issue. I’m hoping it’s nothing more than a phase (4 of the last 5 nights), but if not I have some wonderful advice. Thank you.

  71. Happy to hear tonight went better Jess.@ some of the PP, seriously – life is hard enough. I doubt judging others really makes you feel any better.

  72. Happy to hear tonight went better Jess.@ some of the PP, seriously – life is hard enough. I doubt judging others really makes you feel any better.

  73. I have read a ton of things – articles, comments on blogs, etc. etc., that expressed views and even “facts” that reflected different parenting styles than mine. Often in a tone that implies that because I am doing it differently I am putting my kid at risk and am therefore wrong (anything from sleeping arrangements, to vaccines, to feeding…). Sometimes they fill me with doubt, but most often, I’ll discuss my doubts with my husband, or do a little quick follow-up research, and rediscover why we made the choices we did. That the OTHER way of doing it, from what I just read, is an ok choice for my and my family – even though this person, and lots of others do it differently.I don’t ever feel like I need get on my soap box and insult those people for expressing what they do and for “judging” me. Isn’t it me who would take on the shame and the feeling of being judged? Don’t I have control over that? Ladies, we are strong and smart and we know what is best for our own children, and what is in our comfort zone as parents, even if it’s different from others. Let’s be secure in our decisions, take the information that is relevant to us (after all, isn’t that why we are here, to get info and ideas?) and let the rest fall by the wayside.

  74. I have read a ton of things – articles, comments on blogs, etc. etc., that expressed views and even “facts” that reflected different parenting styles than mine. Often in a tone that implies that because I am doing it differently I am putting my kid at risk and am therefore wrong (anything from sleeping arrangements, to vaccines, to feeding…). Sometimes they fill me with doubt, but most often, I’ll discuss my doubts with my husband, or do a little quick follow-up research, and rediscover why we made the choices we did. That the OTHER way of doing it, from what I just read, is an ok choice for my and my family – even though this person, and lots of others do it differently.I don’t ever feel like I need get on my soap box and insult those people for expressing what they do and for “judging” me. Isn’t it me who would take on the shame and the feeling of being judged? Don’t I have control over that? Ladies, we are strong and smart and we know what is best for our own children, and what is in our comfort zone as parents, even if it’s different from others. Let’s be secure in our decisions, take the information that is relevant to us (after all, isn’t that why we are here, to get info and ideas?) and let the rest fall by the wayside.

  75. SO glad I read this one (only get to read on occasion these days). Gavin (11 months) doesn’t do this, but he is most definitely a tension-increaser, to the point of hyperventilation. Add to that past reflux issues (we had to permanently eliminate dairy, at which point I discovered *I* was also sensitive to it) and ear problems, and this comment thread has thrown a lightbulb on in my head.If I hadn’t already made plans to call an ENT re: tubes for him (we’re on ear infection #5 now), I’d sure be doing it. His sleep went to hell exactly at the same time that I stopped letting him sleep in the carry seat because of safety issues. Duh.
    Thank you for asking this question, Jess!

  76. SO glad I read this one (only get to read on occasion these days). Gavin (11 months) doesn’t do this, but he is most definitely a tension-increaser, to the point of hyperventilation. Add to that past reflux issues (we had to permanently eliminate dairy, at which point I discovered *I* was also sensitive to it) and ear problems, and this comment thread has thrown a lightbulb on in my head.If I hadn’t already made plans to call an ENT re: tubes for him (we’re on ear infection #5 now), I’d sure be doing it. His sleep went to hell exactly at the same time that I stopped letting him sleep in the carry seat because of safety issues. Duh.
    Thank you for asking this question, Jess!

  77. My daughter went through a phase at about 18 months where she would intentionally pee or poop after we had done the whole nighttime routine and put her down in her crib. In our case it was just a ploy to get us back into her room and possibly sing another song. It got so bad that at one point I changed three diapers within half an hour after putting her down. Granted, not as gross or worrisome as vomit, but annoying just the same. It got better when we started just cleaning her up and changing her without talking or singing more songs or repeating any parts of the routine. She learned that soiling her daiper didn’t get her the “reward” she wanted and gave it up, although it still does happen occassionally (six months later).

  78. My daughter went through a phase at about 18 months where she would intentionally pee or poop after we had done the whole nighttime routine and put her down in her crib. In our case it was just a ploy to get us back into her room and possibly sing another song. It got so bad that at one point I changed three diapers within half an hour after putting her down. Granted, not as gross or worrisome as vomit, but annoying just the same. It got better when we started just cleaning her up and changing her without talking or singing more songs or repeating any parts of the routine. She learned that soiling her daiper didn’t get her the “reward” she wanted and gave it up, although it still does happen occassionally (six months later).

  79. I didn’t read through all the comments, so hopefully I’m not repeating. I have a 3-yr old who releases tension by vomiting. When he was first sleeping in a big boy bed, he would cry and then make himself throw up. The first few times he did this, we spent a lot of time cleaning and comforting. When I finally decided I’d had enough (it was very obvious that he was convincing himself to throw up) I layered his bed with sheets. The next time, I calmly stripped the top layer, wiped his face and put him back in bed. He was so surprised there was no big show, that he went to sleep, and that was the last time he did it. He still throws up when he gets anxious – first week of school, new social situations, but it’s getting better. He has a very strong gag reflex, and I think that’s definitely part of it. I always react like it’s no big deal now, and that has really helped. Good luck!

  80. I didn’t read through all the comments, so hopefully I’m not repeating. I have a 3-yr old who releases tension by vomiting. When he was first sleeping in a big boy bed, he would cry and then make himself throw up. The first few times he did this, we spent a lot of time cleaning and comforting. When I finally decided I’d had enough (it was very obvious that he was convincing himself to throw up) I layered his bed with sheets. The next time, I calmly stripped the top layer, wiped his face and put him back in bed. He was so surprised there was no big show, that he went to sleep, and that was the last time he did it. He still throws up when he gets anxious – first week of school, new social situations, but it’s getting better. He has a very strong gag reflex, and I think that’s definitely part of it. I always react like it’s no big deal now, and that has really helped. Good luck!

  81. Amen, Beth P!And also, I’m never persuaded by folks who come at a parenting issue with the false certitude of One True Way-ism. I just assume they haven’t yet had that subsequent child who will teach them their cherished methods won’t always work for every kid! That’s one of the many reasons why I love Moxie – she definitely gets it. It’s also why I find Hedra’s comments so interesting and persuasive – she does not judge – it’s about finding what works for each child.
    Good luck, Jess!

  82. Amen, Beth P!And also, I’m never persuaded by folks who come at a parenting issue with the false certitude of One True Way-ism. I just assume they haven’t yet had that subsequent child who will teach them their cherished methods won’t always work for every kid! That’s one of the many reasons why I love Moxie – she definitely gets it. It’s also why I find Hedra’s comments so interesting and persuasive – she does not judge – it’s about finding what works for each child.
    Good luck, Jess!

  83. Didn’t have time to read the other comments right now, but my daughter will be 18mo on the 17th and she has been sticking her fingers in her mouth and gagging herself repeatedly. No throwing up yet, but it’s still bothersome.And she has always been a good sleeper, even through other growth spurts her sleeping changed but she still slept pretty well. Lately though she isn’t going to bed till 10-11 and she’s getting up at 7 (used to be 8-8) and she’s waking up in the middle of the night to scream and cry inconsolably for 30 minutes or so most nights. Wed night she woke up and did her screaming and crying then was awake from 1:30 – 5:30am. It’s like her internal clock has gone haywire. Her naps are erratic and sporadic as well.
    I hope this doesn’t last long cause I don’t have any experience with her not sleeping like this so this is the first time since she was born that I’m getting sleep deprived and cranky… I totally understand what it could have been like if she was colicky or something as an infant and I realize how lucky I was till now.

  84. Didn’t have time to read the other comments right now, but my daughter will be 18mo on the 17th and she has been sticking her fingers in her mouth and gagging herself repeatedly. No throwing up yet, but it’s still bothersome.And she has always been a good sleeper, even through other growth spurts her sleeping changed but she still slept pretty well. Lately though she isn’t going to bed till 10-11 and she’s getting up at 7 (used to be 8-8) and she’s waking up in the middle of the night to scream and cry inconsolably for 30 minutes or so most nights. Wed night she woke up and did her screaming and crying then was awake from 1:30 – 5:30am. It’s like her internal clock has gone haywire. Her naps are erratic and sporadic as well.
    I hope this doesn’t last long cause I don’t have any experience with her not sleeping like this so this is the first time since she was born that I’m getting sleep deprived and cranky… I totally understand what it could have been like if she was colicky or something as an infant and I realize how lucky I was till now.

  85. I am 95% certain this is reflux. Because the crying is triggered by laying the baby down. Also, if you have reflux, it does often feel like if you could get it up and out, it would help.If he were vomiting at any other time- THEN it could be tension, etc. but this sounds like pain.

  86. I am 95% certain this is reflux. Because the crying is triggered by laying the baby down. Also, if you have reflux, it does often feel like if you could get it up and out, it would help.If he were vomiting at any other time- THEN it could be tension, etc. but this sounds like pain.

  87. I’m in the reflux camp. We’ve been there (actually, sometimes still ARE there). Your poor guy feels like crap when he lays down, making bedtime a miserable experience for him. Liquid Zantac (rx by your pedi) is a godsend. I haven’t read all the comments, so I’m sorry if this is repetitive but after three reflux kids I’ll eat my hat if that isn’t it.

  88. I’m in the reflux camp. We’ve been there (actually, sometimes still ARE there). Your poor guy feels like crap when he lays down, making bedtime a miserable experience for him. Liquid Zantac (rx by your pedi) is a godsend. I haven’t read all the comments, so I’m sorry if this is repetitive but after three reflux kids I’ll eat my hat if that isn’t it.

  89. My daughter did this around the same age. Basically, she’d cry and then stick her fingers in her mouth and throw up. We did not CIO, so it wasn’t that. She did have silent reflux as a baby, and it’s possible that was part of it, but mostly it seemed to be a control issue. And attention. And it sucked at the time. On the plus side, I can’t remember all the details now, so I guess it’s faded into one of those vague memories rather than the fresh hell it felt at the time. But still, I remember how much it sucked.

  90. My daughter did this around the same age. Basically, she’d cry and then stick her fingers in her mouth and throw up. We did not CIO, so it wasn’t that. She did have silent reflux as a baby, and it’s possible that was part of it, but mostly it seemed to be a control issue. And attention. And it sucked at the time. On the plus side, I can’t remember all the details now, so I guess it’s faded into one of those vague memories rather than the fresh hell it felt at the time. But still, I remember how much it sucked.

  91. I would get him checked for reflux, but I wonder if it’s his own form of stalling bedtime for some extra time with you guys. He gets the whole bedtime routine over again and then some!I think it might be a good idea to change up his bedtime routine to see if it stops him from gagging himself. Lay with him on the mattress while he falls asleep for a while.

  92. I would get him checked for reflux, but I wonder if it’s his own form of stalling bedtime for some extra time with you guys. He gets the whole bedtime routine over again and then some!I think it might be a good idea to change up his bedtime routine to see if it stops him from gagging himself. Lay with him on the mattress while he falls asleep for a while.

  93. Call up Early Intervention in your state and ask for an evaluation.The thing a child craves more than anything else is a parent’s attention, even if getting it through a negative behavior (by vomiting) is not the most pleasant route. That’s what our pediatric GI told us, regarding some long standing issues stemming out of our baby having reflux. Vomiting on command was one of the things he listed as behavioral.

  94. Call up Early Intervention in your state and ask for an evaluation.The thing a child craves more than anything else is a parent’s attention, even if getting it through a negative behavior (by vomiting) is not the most pleasant route. That’s what our pediatric GI told us, regarding some long standing issues stemming out of our baby having reflux. Vomiting on command was one of the things he listed as behavioral.

  95. Just a quick request here: I DO NOT understand all the abrviations used in here. CIO, MIL, etc. Could you get a glossary for these terms and post it on your site? Would make things a lot easier for the non-initiated like me.

  96. Just a quick request here: I DO NOT understand all the abrviations used in here. CIO, MIL, etc. Could you get a glossary for these terms and post it on your site? Would make things a lot easier for the non-initiated like me.

  97. Jutta — good suggestion, but in the meantime here are a couple that occur pretty frequently:CIO – cry-it-out
    MIL – mother in law (also, FIL – father in law, BIL/SIL – brother, sister in law etc.)
    DH – dear husband
    DD, DS – dear daughter/son

  98. CIO = Cry it out (letting a baby cry themselves to sleep and learning to self sooth) Most AP-ers (Attachment Parenting) won’t do, and instead try things like co-sleeping and give security to their kids in that manner. ***Please*** keep in mind that I was trying to use very benign words to give very simple explanations to Jutta in an attempt to get her up to speed in the conversation. MIL = Mother in lawHere’s a helpful link:
    http://forum.kellymom.net/showthread.php?t=45173

  99. For the record, when I described the stories told about me as a baby who vomited, I said I did it to get attention. I did not mean to imply that I didn’t get *enough* attention, or imply that OP (original poster) Jess was not giving enough attention to her DS. Just sharing my own experience.

  100. Abby – ROFL. Thank goodness you have a 6-year-old helper.To the OP: Maybe you can find some really nice (patient) babysitters for the next couple weeks, until he gets over the puking thing?

  101. Hmmmmm, I have been through almost every sleep issue in the book. My first thought is to take him to the doctor. My son ALWAYS pukes when he has an ear infection and that is the only sign. No fever, nothing, just puke. It was usually after he went to bed too. After more than two years with NO sleep, we have resorted to CIO and most of the time it works. My main concern would be to make sure there is no medical issues, then just try to change things up at bedtime. It can be a guessing game until you find something that works. I am truly sorry and I feel your pain. Good luck and this too shall pass.

  102. One thought on the vomiting I haven’t seen here – we just went through stomach bug stuff, and 3 days later, 20 month old vomited again, at midnight, after getting out of bed and then crying in the hallway while Daddy used the bathroom . . . next night it was right at the dinner table.Full disclosure (virus, # days between, etc) in a call to the ped resulted in the information that post-stomach bug can lead to irritated stomach that (over-)reacts to lots of stuff – citrus, fullness, for almost another week. She said it often finally hits at night.
    It hadn’t occurred to me they could still be related. Just a thought.

  103. My son is 19 months old and was diagnosed with reflux as an infant. We had a family bed for 10 months. I am a single mom and through much effort got him to sleep alone without issue until recently. He now cries when I put him to bed, even after a long, cosistent bedtime routine, until he vomits at which point I take him out of the crib, changec him etc…the thing that makes me believe this is a behavior is that he only does this at home. Not the two nights at his dads house (where they fall asleep together)… but I can’t let him CIo after he vomits of course! So, do I just ride it out?

  104. oh casey, I remember fleeing exactly the way you do. One day, Finding Nemo came on television, and the tears started to flow and I couldn’t stop. That would have seemed silly to me a few years earlier, but my pain was so right on the surface and raw, it just spilled right out. Just to let you know it is so normal! My brain was foggy also, and everything seem to make me tired. You take your time, feel every bit of this i love you, hope to see you sunday nite and give you a big hug!

  105. You get acid reflux bcasuee of tight muscles in your back pressing onto the nerves going to the stomach to cause it to release more gastric acid which backs up into your throat. While throwing up you would have gotten rid of the acid in your stomach which was causing a burning sensation and you could have ended up unpinching the muscles that were giving you the pressure on the nerves to make the whole process stop, so the answer would be yes.

  106. It kind of sounds like a soy/dairy piroetn intolerance. I would talk to another doctor. I really don’t think that a good doctor should belittle your concerns, ever. Forbid that is anything serious, but I think that precautionary tests should be performed. Some are totally non-invasive.I’ve read that the baby rice can lead to constipation, and that the oatmeal variety is a good substitute.I agree that processed foods are always bad. I have a sensitive stomach myself, and since eliminating those foods from my diet, they make me have an immediate, nauseating, belching and painful reaction when I do indulge.I know it sounds like a hassle, but if you make large batches of homemade baby food and then freeze it in ice cube trays, it is cheeper, faster and more nutritious. My girls would refuse to eat certain store bought veggie pures, but loved those same veggies if I had stemmed them and blended them at home.i like the mayo clinic website for general info.Best regards and good luck.

  107. This is not medical adcive, but as a grandparent it sounds like his tummy is messed up. You may want to look into natural food alternatives to find foods that will not contain preservatives and other chemical elements. Processed food and/or formula contains toxins that cause negative reactions. He may need some enzymes and/or probiotics that will help his stomack achieve a balance so that digestion can do its work to feed his growing body. You can google Jennifer Crippen Springer she lives in the Fargo area and could either help or give you some good suggestions.

  108. This is not medical adcive, but as a grandparent it sounds like his tummy is messed up. You may want to look into natural food alternatives to find foods that will not contain preservatives and other chemical elements. Processed food and/or formula contains toxins that cause negative reactions. He may need some enzymes and/or probiotics that will help his stomack achieve a balance so that digestion can do its work to feed his growing body. You can google Jennifer Crippen Springer she lives in the Fargo area and could either help or give you some good suggestions.

  109. Carolyn – Awesome job Phil! They’re all amazing, but I esleciaply love the one on the bridge, but you know I have a thing for covered bridges! Where’s this park?

  110. Carolyn – Awesome job Phil! They’re all amazing, but I esleciaply love the one on the bridge, but you know I have a thing for covered bridges! Where’s this park?

  111. This is so excellent, thnaks for laying down the knowledge! I’ve got apnea, and so became a lot more aware of my sleep habits when going through a sleep study. I definitely know my number, I will consistently wake without alarm after exactly 7.5 hours of sleep, feeling most refreshed and awake. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to ditch the cpap machine, if not at the end of the challenge, then after doing Crossfit for 6 months or so. I’ve already cut out caffeine except for a couple cups of tea during work hours.Also Chris is right, the lab coat is totally hot. You’ve blinded us with SCIENCE!

  112. This is so excellent, thnaks for laying down the knowledge! I’ve got apnea, and so became a lot more aware of my sleep habits when going through a sleep study. I definitely know my number, I will consistently wake without alarm after exactly 7.5 hours of sleep, feeling most refreshed and awake. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to ditch the cpap machine, if not at the end of the challenge, then after doing Crossfit for 6 months or so. I’ve already cut out caffeine except for a couple cups of tea during work hours.Also Chris is right, the lab coat is totally hot. You’ve blinded us with SCIENCE!

  113. Utente: Siamo dovuti arrviare fino in Malesia (…ehm, purtroppo solo virtualmente) per trovare un dominio che ci piacesse e facesse al caso nostro. Certo, anche Trinidad e Tobago (.tt) non era male, ma l’acquisto sarebbe stato pif9 complicato. Siamo, quindi, felici presentarvi tta.my This comment was originally posted on

  114. Utente: Siamo dovuti arrviare fino in Malesia (…ehm, purtroppo solo virtualmente) per trovare un dominio che ci piacesse e facesse al caso nostro. Certo, anche Trinidad e Tobago (.tt) non era male, ma l’acquisto sarebbe stato pif9 complicato. Siamo, quindi, felici presentarvi tta.my This comment was originally posted on

  115. Your dentist can fit you with a mouth guard to pcrteot your teeth during sleep.If stress is causing you to grind your teeth, ask your doctor or dentist about options to reduce your stress. Attending stress counseling, starting an exercise program, seeing a physical therapist or obtaining a prescription for muscle relaxants are among some of the options that may be offered.Other tips to stop teeth grinding include:Avoid or cut back on foods and drinks that contain caffeine, such as colas, chocolate, and coffee.Avoid alcohol. Grinding tends to intensify after alcohol consumption.Do not chew on pencils or pens or anything that is not food. Avoid chewing gum as it allows your jaw muscles to get more used to clenching and makes you more likely to grind your teeth.Train yourself not to clench or grind your teeth. If you notice that you clench or grind during the day, position the tip of your tongue between your teeth. This practice trains your jaw muscles to relax.Relax your jaw muscles at night by holding a warm washcloth against your cheek in front of your earlobe.Hope this helps!

  116. Help! My 9 month old is a teeth giendrr.?What do you do for a 9 month old teeth giendrr? We can hear her at night on the baby monitor and it is awful. She doesn’t exactly understand the word no at 9 months. Any suggestions?Charli- I am being serious!! But, what flavor and brand? Milk bone minty fresh?Doc W- I was joking with Charli you weinee. I am really asking the question about tooth grinding. She and I have a joking relationship. You are right about tests for parents. I hope you don’t have kids. We don’t need anymore stiffs in the world!

  117. Aww. My princess did the same thing.My peaaitricidn gave me two possibilities:It either helps soothe the pain of teething ORThey just realized they had teeth and are checking them out in every way, including grinding.She told me not to worry. It doesn’t last long.Though I know it is painful to hear!! The people on here that recommended a mouth guard obviously have no clue what they are talking about.

  118. Aww. My princess did the same thing.My peaaitricidn gave me two possibilities:It either helps soothe the pain of teething ORThey just realized they had teeth and are checking them out in every way, including grinding.She told me not to worry. It doesn’t last long.Though I know it is painful to hear!! The people on here that recommended a mouth guard obviously have no clue what they are talking about.

  119. My husband and I hnalde our banking the same way. We share a bed only because it works if for whatever reason it did not, I would be in the spare bedroom real fast. We tend to take short vacations separately because of our hobby farm. In our spare time, we enjoy different activities. For him it is trucks, welding, tinkering, working on this or that, etc For me, it is my horses I think he has been on one of my horses ONCE, yet doesn’t mind feeding them and doing other stable chores. (He has been accompanying me on wagon rides as of recently, though). At any rate, we appreciate our time apart and enjoy our time together. Who is to say what a normal’ marriage is anyway!

  120. My husband and I hnalde our banking the same way. We share a bed only because it works if for whatever reason it did not, I would be in the spare bedroom real fast. We tend to take short vacations separately because of our hobby farm. In our spare time, we enjoy different activities. For him it is trucks, welding, tinkering, working on this or that, etc For me, it is my horses I think he has been on one of my horses ONCE, yet doesn’t mind feeding them and doing other stable chores. (He has been accompanying me on wagon rides as of recently, though). At any rate, we appreciate our time apart and enjoy our time together. Who is to say what a normal’ marriage is anyway!

  121. I love these posts. I sure hope that I would be willing to step it up at night. In the pirctacal sense, I’m such an early bird that I rarely stay up past 9:30, unless I’m doing homework. I don’t pay enough time and attention to my husband during those hours, I don’t put him first then, because that’s my time . Thank you for this post, and for exposing areas I need to work on.

  122. I love these posts. I sure hope that I would be willing to step it up at night. In the pirctacal sense, I’m such an early bird that I rarely stay up past 9:30, unless I’m doing homework. I don’t pay enough time and attention to my husband during those hours, I don’t put him first then, because that’s my time . Thank you for this post, and for exposing areas I need to work on.

  123. Yes, my child was similarly sleep-ungifted but I do not have your pacenite on account of me having to get up every morning at 6AM to go to corporate America and after several months of patiently tending to my baby’s every nighttime whimper, I was extremely close to falling asleep at the wheel on my daily commute.So after a few wondrous CIO nights, we’ve come to some middle ground where he wakes up 2-3 times a night, nurses and goes back into his crib. This is somewhat more manageable but has very recently completely gone to shit because my poor son has three teeth coming in simultaneously and despite the steady dosage of Tylenol, he is still ridiculously cranky.In other words, ditto

  124. Yes, my child was similarly sleep-ungifted but I do not have your pacenite on account of me having to get up every morning at 6AM to go to corporate America and after several months of patiently tending to my baby’s every nighttime whimper, I was extremely close to falling asleep at the wheel on my daily commute.So after a few wondrous CIO nights, we’ve come to some middle ground where he wakes up 2-3 times a night, nurses and goes back into his crib. This is somewhat more manageable but has very recently completely gone to shit because my poor son has three teeth coming in simultaneously and despite the steady dosage of Tylenol, he is still ridiculously cranky.In other words, ditto

  125. I am not in a relationship with a man who 1. likes to spoil me like a penscris2. show some love outside closed doors or,3. likes to cuddle. I don’t mind not being spoiled I am independent and make my own money, I work hard for what I have. I am the same way in public about kissing, its not my cup of tea but i do like holding hands (him not so much). And cuddling, Cuddling! . i love to cuddle, my boyfriend, not so much. I am always cold.. he is always hot. The ChiliPad that you keep talking about.. can you point me in the direction of some information. You seem to speak highly of this, and would love to check it out. I have taken pills before but always woke up in a fog. Thanks,Lene

  126. I am not in a relationship with a man who 1. likes to spoil me like a penscris2. show some love outside closed doors or,3. likes to cuddle. I don’t mind not being spoiled I am independent and make my own money, I work hard for what I have. I am the same way in public about kissing, its not my cup of tea but i do like holding hands (him not so much). And cuddling, Cuddling! . i love to cuddle, my boyfriend, not so much. I am always cold.. he is always hot. The ChiliPad that you keep talking about.. can you point me in the direction of some information. You seem to speak highly of this, and would love to check it out. I have taken pills before but always woke up in a fog. Thanks,Lene

  127. I hate that. At least the airlines give you a few bucks for bnimpug you.One time at a downtown hotel I got that good news, bad news spiel. The bad news was they were overbooked. The good news is that there were rooms available at their airport location. I’d just come from the airport and wanted to be downtown. They told me the van would come get me and take me back to the airport. I’d be on my own the next morning. The alternative? Go find another hotel. I got to my room at the airport about two hours later. That chain is off my Christmas list!

  128. I hate that. At least the airlines give you a few bucks for bnimpug you.One time at a downtown hotel I got that good news, bad news spiel. The bad news was they were overbooked. The good news is that there were rooms available at their airport location. I’d just come from the airport and wanted to be downtown. They told me the van would come get me and take me back to the airport. I’d be on my own the next morning. The alternative? Go find another hotel. I got to my room at the airport about two hours later. That chain is off my Christmas list!

  129. Lovely post! I am not sure it’s about sleeping (or not) in htloes with or without beds as much as it is about sleeping without what you’re used to. Your 4 year old probably knows this quite well, too! (My toddler MUST sleep with froggie, rat, and uno every night. Otherwise, we’re all in trouble!)

  130. Lovely post! I am not sure it’s about sleeping (or not) in htloes with or without beds as much as it is about sleeping without what you’re used to. Your 4 year old probably knows this quite well, too! (My toddler MUST sleep with froggie, rat, and uno every night. Otherwise, we’re all in trouble!)

  131. No yoga! And a good workout only let me sleep loengr before waking up hotter and wetter than normal. And I can’t even blame menopause. So the experimentation began We started with a Sleep Number bed. Hard or soft didn’t matter, I would still wake up at 3 in a hot sweat. I tried just a sheet for covering and still felt like I was laying on a griddle. Called Sleep Number for assistance and after a lengthy discussion I recieved the flippant recommendation to just turn a fan on ! Other beds (and hotel beds) didn’t have the same problem so I started some further experimentation. I pulled off the foam topper (covered with synthetic amterial) and replaced it with four layers of cotton matress pads. This helped a little bit with the body to bed heat generation but I still woke up sweating.So I went online and found Chili. I replaced three of the matress pads with the ChiliPad and did get some cooling. But I still was waking up at 3 (or 4 or 5) in a sweat. The fan noise from the heat exchanger was not helping me get to sleep and I could never figure out why I was having to refill the water reservoir 2 to 3 times a week. Where did the water go? Then I started to get algae growth in the reservoir so I decided to try a different direction.I had been suspecting that the body heat was being generated from contact with synthetic sheets, matress pads, and foam matresses. So I replaced the ChiliPad (sorry Tom) with a 2 inch ErgoSoft Latex Topper from Absolutecomfortonsale and the matress pad with an Outlast Mattress Pad from DriNights.com. This did give me a cooler sleep than the original Sleep Number arrangement and was quiet, but I would still wake up in a sweat in the middle of the night. Meanwhile, early on in all of this experimentation, my wife bailed out to sleep in another room because my sleep apnia was driving her nuts. So I finally bullied my family physician into recommending a ENT specialist that might help me breath better (I have never been able to jog a full mile). I have narrow nasal passages which I suspect could probably benefit from some surgery. However, the ENT specialist recommended I try a new gadget called NasalPass instead of surgery. NasalPass is a little plastic cage which is inserted into the nostril and physically opens up the passage (as opposed to the external stick on strips that shrink the sinuses).I have tried this at night and have found that I have been able to sleep most nights without wakeing up in a sweat! This sheds a whole new light on the problem. Should pay more attention to my wife’s comments.Next, I am going to use some digital audio recorders to see just how bad my apnia is. I have seen one report that people who wake up from an apnia event sometimes wake up in a sweat. I want to check this out. And I want to find out if part of the problem might be swollen sinuses along with the narrow nasal passages. I’ll let you all know if I find this true for me.

  132. No yoga! And a good workout only let me sleep loengr before waking up hotter and wetter than normal. And I can’t even blame menopause. So the experimentation began We started with a Sleep Number bed. Hard or soft didn’t matter, I would still wake up at 3 in a hot sweat. I tried just a sheet for covering and still felt like I was laying on a griddle. Called Sleep Number for assistance and after a lengthy discussion I recieved the flippant recommendation to just turn a fan on ! Other beds (and hotel beds) didn’t have the same problem so I started some further experimentation. I pulled off the foam topper (covered with synthetic amterial) and replaced it with four layers of cotton matress pads. This helped a little bit with the body to bed heat generation but I still woke up sweating.So I went online and found Chili. I replaced three of the matress pads with the ChiliPad and did get some cooling. But I still was waking up at 3 (or 4 or 5) in a sweat. The fan noise from the heat exchanger was not helping me get to sleep and I could never figure out why I was having to refill the water reservoir 2 to 3 times a week. Where did the water go? Then I started to get algae growth in the reservoir so I decided to try a different direction.I had been suspecting that the body heat was being generated from contact with synthetic sheets, matress pads, and foam matresses. So I replaced the ChiliPad (sorry Tom) with a 2 inch ErgoSoft Latex Topper from Absolutecomfortonsale and the matress pad with an Outlast Mattress Pad from DriNights.com. This did give me a cooler sleep than the original Sleep Number arrangement and was quiet, but I would still wake up in a sweat in the middle of the night. Meanwhile, early on in all of this experimentation, my wife bailed out to sleep in another room because my sleep apnia was driving her nuts. So I finally bullied my family physician into recommending a ENT specialist that might help me breath better (I have never been able to jog a full mile). I have narrow nasal passages which I suspect could probably benefit from some surgery. However, the ENT specialist recommended I try a new gadget called NasalPass instead of surgery. NasalPass is a little plastic cage which is inserted into the nostril and physically opens up the passage (as opposed to the external stick on strips that shrink the sinuses).I have tried this at night and have found that I have been able to sleep most nights without wakeing up in a sweat! This sheds a whole new light on the problem. Should pay more attention to my wife’s comments.Next, I am going to use some digital audio recorders to see just how bad my apnia is. I have seen one report that people who wake up from an apnia event sometimes wake up in a sweat. I want to check this out. And I want to find out if part of the problem might be swollen sinuses along with the narrow nasal passages. I’ll let you all know if I find this true for me.

  133. Whitney, love the idea of your new blog, looking fowrard to lots of information on cures for sleeplessness. I have to be the queen of not sleeping, so, need lots of help; HOWEVER, yoga is the best exercise in the world. When I go to a yoga class and get to the relaxation, or corpse, pose, I can sleep on a concrete floor!!! If your are old, as I am, it really helps with balance, stretches those muscles, so you don’t fall and break something that isn’t easy to fix!

  134. Whitney, love the idea of your new blog, looking fowrard to lots of information on cures for sleeplessness. I have to be the queen of not sleeping, so, need lots of help; HOWEVER, yoga is the best exercise in the world. When I go to a yoga class and get to the relaxation, or corpse, pose, I can sleep on a concrete floor!!! If your are old, as I am, it really helps with balance, stretches those muscles, so you don’t fall and break something that isn’t easy to fix!

  135. These are questions from soombedy who doesn’t have kids yet. When Trixie wakes up in the middle of the night, does one of you *always* go check on her? Are there times when she’s just awake for such a short period that she goes right back to sleep without either of you ever getting up to check on her? When she wakes up, are you aware that she’s awake because she cries every time or does she ever wake up and make babbling sounds instead?I ask these questions because the number one complaint I hear from new parents is how exhausted they are, particularly from getting up in the middle of the night. (Mind you, 90% of the stuff I hear from new parents is all positive, but that’s the main complaint). So, I wonder how often DO parents get a full nights sleep?There was actually a whole episode of Mad About You dedicated to whether they should go right to their baby when she cries in the night or wait a while first and then go check on her. They waited a while and felt anxiety the whole time as she cried then they felt guilty when she finally fell asleep without them checking on her. Parents just can’t win. If you or any of your readers have any thoughts on my questions, I’d be interested to read them. Thanks!

  136. These are questions from soombedy who doesn’t have kids yet. When Trixie wakes up in the middle of the night, does one of you *always* go check on her? Are there times when she’s just awake for such a short period that she goes right back to sleep without either of you ever getting up to check on her? When she wakes up, are you aware that she’s awake because she cries every time or does she ever wake up and make babbling sounds instead?I ask these questions because the number one complaint I hear from new parents is how exhausted they are, particularly from getting up in the middle of the night. (Mind you, 90% of the stuff I hear from new parents is all positive, but that’s the main complaint). So, I wonder how often DO parents get a full nights sleep?There was actually a whole episode of Mad About You dedicated to whether they should go right to their baby when she cries in the night or wait a while first and then go check on her. They waited a while and felt anxiety the whole time as she cried then they felt guilty when she finally fell asleep without them checking on her. Parents just can’t win. If you or any of your readers have any thoughts on my questions, I’d be interested to read them. Thanks!

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