Q&A: 18-month sleep regression redux

I got a question from Kelli a few weeks ago, and then an almost identical question from Kyo a couple of days ago, about the 18-month sleep regression.

If you all recall (and those of you with kids over the age of 18 months probably do), there's a big developmental spurt that happens right in the 18-21-month corridor, so many kids who've been fine sleepers suddenly stop sleeping (either at nighttime or for naps or both) around 18 months and it lasts for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.

It completely and utterly bites, and parents can feel blindsided and insulted and very very angry about it.

So, what Kelli and Kyo were asking was what they should do about it. Their kids were waking up in the middle of the night either once or a bunch of times, and they were having varying degrees of success with getting them back to sleep using various methods. The big concern seemed to be whether they were setting themselves up for later problems if they did things like nurse the kids back to sleep or bring them into their beds or use other sleep crutches that they'd mostly gotten away from before the sleep regression happened*.

I think that, as usual, it depends on your kid. By the time your child is 18 months old, you've been through a few sleep regressions already. So think back to what happened when your child came out of the 4 month regression and 9-month regression: Did your child go back to sleeping the way s/he'd been sleeping before? (Some kids just go right back as if the regression had never happened.) Or did you need to ease your kid back into sleeping and wean off processes of getting to sleep that you'd used to hold down the fort during the regression? (Bitey Biterson, for sure.)

Whatever happened with those other regressions is probably going to happen with this one. If you've been reading me for any length of time, you know that I figure that people just sleep the way they sleep, and there's not much parents can do to change that. So the sooner you can figure out how your kid sleeps, the sooner you can figure out both what's realistic for you and how you should approach sleep issues.

The other thing to think about, though, is "Do you care?" I know that, for me, it didn't matter if I knew I'd have to spend a few weeks breaking a habit again as long as I could get some !@#$% sleep in the meantime. If that's the way you are, then who cares, and do whatever it takes to get you all the max amount of sleep at any given night.

But if it will kill you to have to undo something, and you're not so fried at this moment that you just need to sleep By Any Means Necessary, then take a little time to think about how you could replicate conditions that will help facilitate sleep without actually going back into the processes or crutches you don't want to use. Either that or schedule a solo vacation at a spa for a week and let someone else deal with it. (If only. Can you imagine?)

Anyone want to share any fond memories of the 18-month sleep regression?  I would, except I seem to have blocked out a whole lot of it. I can, however, remember standing over my older son's crib wondering how I'd morphed from awesome to completely incompetent in a matter of weeks. Parenting is hard.

* In general, I think sleep crutches of all sorts, from pacifiers to rocking to loveys, get a super-bad rap. No one has to bring their mom along to college to nurse them to sleep. And so what if you have to sleep with a white noise machine? If it bugs you when you're 30 you can break the habit your own self, and leave your poor parents out of it. So I'm only talking about breaking habits because some parents really want to get away from sleep crutches because they're adding more stress to their lives. If sleep crutches are working for you as a family, then party on with them for as long as they work, and then figure out the next thing.

124 thoughts on “Q&A: 18-month sleep regression redux”

  1. Words to live by: “It’s not a problem if you dislike the solution more.”I have this taped to my computer monitor, probably put up around the time that I was going to hurl myself off of the nearest bridge due to my child’s sleeping issues.
    For me, the “problem” of nursing to sleep, or co-sleeping, or whatever else I had to do to get some sleep was far less egregious than forcing my kid to sleep (as if I could have ever done such a thing).
    For those of you with poor sleepers at 18 months (or even 2 or 3 years old), there’s hope! My now 3-year-old was one of the world’s worst sleepers, and now tells us when he’s sleepy, reliably goes to bed at 8 pm with just his lovey and the sound machine, and falls asleep within minutes.

  2. We are in the middle of this one, and have been since late December. July baby = 18 month sleep regression hit during the holidays, which was great fun. Le Petit had been reliably sleeping through the night since he was about a year old. So do I feel insulted? Incompetent? Check, check.The problem for us is that the favorite sleep prop — nursing back to sleep — has mostly stopped working. That doesn’t stop le Petit from REALLY REALLY wanting to nurse in the middle of the night. It just means that I have to choose between nursing a squirmy and stubbornly sleepless baby, or lying in the other room with my head stuffed under a pillow while my husband tries to coax the same baby, screaming and indignant, to sleep by singing and patting his back. Either way we can be up in the middle of the night for literally hours.
    At the moment, my husband has way more patience than I do so I send him in most of the time. As a general rule, we try to take over for one another when the other one Just Can’t Take It Anymore, and I am so grateful.
    One thing I’d add to what Moxie said is to keep trying things, even those that never worked in the past. Le Petit was never interested in loveys when he was smaller, but now we’re having some luck helping him learn to cuddle with a teddy bear. Singing and patting suddenly started to help a few months ago, too.
    We have also noticed that le Petit, who has been in his own room since five months old, often gets more upset if we come try and help him too quickly. If we let him fuss for a good five minutes he often falls back asleep on his own.
    And now for a strange 18-month sleep regression anecdote: the last two or three times le Petit woke up inconsolable, my husband eventually calmed him down by letting him walk around the apartment. Every time, le Petit ended his tour by walking into the living room, pointing outside at the apartment building across the street, and babbling a long monologue in his own language.
    We have no idea what he was trying to tell us. Maybe “Hey, Mom, Dad, I hear there’s a great coffee shop over there, open 24 hours, why don’t we all check it out sometime?” Not that such things exist in Paris, but anyway…

  3. Thank you for that, meggiemoo.My daughter is almost two. I nurse her to sleep and she comes to our bed and nurses back to sleep anywhere 2+ times per night.
    Right before Christmas, she slept in her bed until 5AM for a few nights one week. Then, it all stopped. I’ve been waiting for it to happen again.
    We have a bedtime ritual and regular bed time. She has a great nap almost everyday (2 – 3 hours). But there’s still that voice inside saying I should be doing something else to make her sleep. Even though I have no idea what it would be. I have to be constantly reassured. That’s why I love this blog (and this month’s issue of Mothering had reassuring articles about sleep).
    Thanks.

  4. Since my name is also Kelli, I had bit of a start when my saw my name – as in “hey, did I ask that? Have I been drinking n’ emailing again? Heh.I would say the first 2-3 years involves all sorts of sleep regressions. Poor kids – they are going through so much in those first few years – new teeth, shots, illness plus growing mentally AND physically. In general, we have a Whatever It Takes approach to sleeping. We primarily co-sleep and that is what works. We ALL are sleeping and have had very few nights of no sleep.
    I am not saying everyone should co-sleep, but I wish parents would feel less guilty about doing whatever they feel is best for their child. And I wholeheartedly agree, I wish nursing to sleep, rocking, walking pacifiers and comfort objects would get less of a bad rap, too.
    I know that as an adult, I sleep best if I can read in bed for 15-30 minutes. If my child needs something to calm him/her down, what is the harm in that?

  5. A sleep regression might imply that there was sleep to begin with. My 18 month old slept thru the night from 1 month to 4 months and hasn’t since. We finally gave up fighting it and just would bring him to our bed when he first woke up at night. Hubby didn’t particularly like it because he could sleep as well but he didn’t dislike it enough to get up and help so….We just moved Tike into a twin bed and it is working out much better for us. We do the normal bedtime routine (bath, pjs, brush teeth) then cuddles and stories in bed and lights out (instead of rocking for 45 min. just to have him wake upon touching the crib). I lay down with him until he is asleep and then go about my evening. He does still use pacifiers but I think I’m going to try weaning him off of those soon.
    He is much easier to get to sleep this way and is staying asleep longer than before. When he wakes at night I go back in and either stay until he is asleep or just stay the rest of the night (depends on how tired I am and what time it is). One thing that seems to be helping is touching him as little as possible while getting him to sleep. If he falls asleep all snuggled up he usually wakes up easier when I leave than if he falls asleep with just a hand on his back.
    I am longing for a time when he will sleep all night but no longer stressing over it. We have morphed into a “whatever works” family and really haven’t seen lasting problems, yet.

  6. This post is the epitome of why I love you, Moxie! You said exactly how I feel about the situation, how I think everyone has to find what works for them, and you’ve even explained why I do what works for us!That said, we’ve just (mostly) come out of the 18-22 regression. My daughter is very physically capable, so we did a few things that probably aren’t a good idea for everyone, but I’ll share them.
    First some background. The Pumpkin has hardly ever been a good sleeper and always takes months to go through the regressions, so there is never an easy fix for us. Prior to the 18-month regression (and into the beginning), what had been working was for one of us (hubby and I would take turns) to get her out of the crib when she was crying for us (she’s always been a tension increaser) and cosleep with her in the twin bed in the nursery for the rest of the night. She usually slept much better and generally through the rest of the night without crying once we were cosleeping.
    As the sleep regression started getting her up earlier and earlier in the night (as early as 10:30, which was about an hour after she feel asleep), we decided to try just moving her out of the crib and into the twin bed, since she seemed to sleep better there. Our transition went smoothly, but we knew the sleep regression wasn’t going to be over for another few months (much to my husband’s horror when I warned him… and warned him… and warned him).
    Due to a door that wouldn’t shut all the way on vacation, I discovered that the Pumpkin would get out of bed, open the door and come find me on her own when she woke up and needed to be with me. She did this without crying, which was such a relief to me.
    So at home, we started shutting her door almost all the way, but not clicking it so she could push it open. Every night, we make sure that the babygates to the stairs are secured and the doors to rooms she shouldn’t be in are closed tight. Now, she wakes up, pushes open her door, comes down the hall and climbs into bed with us.
    There were still rough nights, but a lot less nights where we actually had to get out of bed.
    Just 2 weeks ago, the regression seemed to end, and she slept through the night in her own bed a few nights. The other nights, she came into our bed and fell right back asleep. It was a beautiful week and a half. However, she’s going through something the last few nights–but this seems pretty normal for her at this point.
    Overall, these things worked for us because we just need to get some *&%$ing sleep (especially me because I’m exhausted from being pregnant and it being winter with my Seasonal Affective Disorder). Hubby and I are fine (and even enjoy) cosleeping with her, especially when she just goes right back to sleep and sleeps well. We actually prefer her coming into our bed because it is much more comfortable for us and we don’t have to get out of bed. Also, we don’t mind if she continues coming into our bed for years to come, so it’s not something we are worried about having to force a change.
    I hope that helps someone! If nothing else, hopefully it gets people thinking outside the box of the child sleeping in a crib all night. There are other options if you think your child might be ready.

  7. Oh yeah, and singing has really helped her calm down when she’s upset in the middle of the night and going to sleep. But I’m not going to get into what it takes to get her to sleep these days. That deserves a whole other long write up that I’ll probably post on my blog.I will say that we do still use bottles to get her to calm down at night while lying in her bed and to fall asleep for her naps. My child really seems to still need it, so we do it. She’ll be ready to stop one day, but she’s not now.

  8. What if your 17-month-old is (and always has been) a crappy sleeper and you’re still up with him 3-4 times/night? It’s like Opposites Day, right, so he’ll magically sleep well for a few months during the sleep regression?Right?
    Please?

  9. I’m so glad someone brought this up again — we’ve been dealing with it off and on for the last month or so. Most days she’s OK, but there have been more 5:30 wakeups and more of the waking in the middle of the night to talk to the toys and yell such entertaining things as “YAY! Doggie doggie!, Mama-mama-mama…” which manage to wake me up in a cold sweat, but somehow the Husband can snore right through…of course, he also wears earplugs to bed.

  10. I agree with cagey about giving co-sleeping a try. I swore I would never allow my children in our bed. Professed it loud and clear. Until that fateful night when Tike wouldn’t sleep except in my arms and I thought what if I just hold him in my arms while I’m laying down and then maybe, maybe I could get just a few minutes sleep…It worked. He slept. I slept. We haven’t looked back. We have a modified version of cosleeping I mentioned in my other comment and we have had some awful nights of squirming, restlessness and not wanting to go back to sleep, but overall we have all been blessed with much more sleep than if either of us had been “up” with him.

  11. We encouraged fairly rigid sleep rituals/loveys with our two boys, including tucking in with “special blanket” & sleepy bunny, turning on fan/white noise, etc. It might make it more difficult to travel or sleep on the go (although you can find a cheap fan almost anywhere & we just throw in some cheap nighlights in our suitcases & bring blankets/bunnies on the plane in the carry-on) but it seems to help them to realize that Now It Is Sleeping Time.Someone above mentioned walking around the apartment during particularly hideous night-wakings. We’ve actually had some success with that too in the past when nothing else would stop the cycle of crying. Quietly walking around and pointing out that it’s dark outside, that your brother is sleeping, that all the lights are off…somehow it seeps in (even when they are really little) that no one else is up playing or having fun and that it’s OK to go back to sleep.
    Even with all of that, to finally get a sleep breakthrough with our youngest when he was 15 months old I had to leave for the weekend with my older son while my husband sat through the younger’s crying. Even if it was tension-releasing for him, it was tension-creating for me and I would be unable to fall asleep even after he had gone back to sleep, setting up a really terrible cycle. After two nights, my husband was able to break the bad sleep cycle for Younger and it’s never been as awful again.
    That said, both of our boys do wake up at night still at barely-2 and almost-4. Sometimes they put themselves back to sleep, sometimes they need a parental visit to resettle them, get a drink of water, etc. and sometimes we still have nights when one or both of them wakes up multiple times. Luckily those are fewer and fewer but I have a feeling that this is just how they sleep. After all, I still wake up multiple times a night as an adult, usually falling back asleep quickly but sometimes struggling with insomnia (which seems to be a problem for most of the women in my family).

  12. @Ann… I kind of have to say… I feel like That is what we’ve been having go on here. At 18 months we went from 90% of nights with 3-4 wakings a night (sometimes taking >45 minutes and a lot of screaming to get him to go back to sleep). At 18 months, we moved him into a bed (a great decision, actually because now he need not wake himself up all the way by starting to cry, he just comes in, we usher him back to his bed and he goes to sleep (usually) much more easily because he never gets worked up.At 18 months, he actually went through a couple of months of waking up once (very occasionally twice) a night. That lasted for several months and now from about 23-25 months (where we are now) he is up 4 times a night and being really difficult to get back to sleep. He’s getting his incisors and that probably really sucks for him.
    There is a little blessing, in some ways, in a kid that has always been a terrible sleeper… we have never been shocked by a sleep regression!
    Anyway, if your biggest problem is the length of time it takes to get the child back to sleep, then perhaps a bed would help. In our case, it did make a big difference.

  13. I tried to (laugh with me!) NIGHT WEAN during the 21-month growth spurt because suddenly she was waking up 3-4 times per night again. I figured that she wasn’t going to be sleeping well anyway, why not combine the sleep regression with the angst of night weaning?Ha. Ha. Ha.
    What a nightmare!
    After a couple weeks of that silliness, I finally just nursed her again, and in two days she was both finished with the regression AND AND!!!! AND she started sleeping through the night FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER LIFE. Wooooo!
    Of course, then we moved across the country and it took her 8 weeks to start doing that again, and after two blissful no-wakeup nights, she caught a cold and that brings us to now – a 3:30am wakeup. *sigh*

  14. I think we managed to avoid this at night because we’d just — at 17 months — let her cry it out. After 2 or 3 nights, we got our first full night of sleep ever. She was happy, I was thrilled. I had sworn I’d never do it, and I’m glad we waited until she was older, but it was our saving grace. She goes to bed happily at 7 or 8pm after nursing, snuggling up with her teddy, elephant, pillow, and blanket (can you tell we tried lovies? 🙂 ).But we did get a regression at 19 months — she gave up her nap. It was so frustrating, because it took well over a year to get her to crib nap, and she stopped!
    We finally stopped fighting it after about a month. We just put her to bed earlier and enjoyed our ability to be out all day. Some days she really needs a nap, so my husband takes her in the jogging stroller. But most days, she just goes from 7am to 7pm — happily.
    Of course, just as we got used to that, she asked for a crib nap the other day! And she slept for 90 minutes without a peep. Nothing doing the next day, though. Figures. Kids are predictably unpredictable.

  15. I have to admit (my kid is now 14 months old) that I’ve never seen any evidence of these periodic sleep regressions in him. He’s always been a crappy sleeper. Sometimes he’s a bit less crappy, sometimes a bit more. I think he’s been in a permanent regression since birth, and it will probably end ca. age 12.

  16. My crappy sleeper started sleeping better after the “regression.” And then I started very slow and gentle nightweaning and finally had progress, as she seemed to have made the cognitive leap to understand some delayed gratification. We always co-slept and nursed to sleep, so regressions weren’t a huge deal to manage. The day time behavior that goes along with a developmental leap was far more annoying to me! 18-20 months was like zomg who is this kid/can I get a refund! A real test of the gentle discipline ideals.Oh. She was ready to move to a toddler bed at 21 months, so all in all, that period ended with big strides ahead. Just hang in there, and don’t worry about “ruining” anything by getting the most sleep for the most people in the house. The other side of that period is a whole new ballgame in terms of what they can understand and do on their own.

  17. I’ll add our experience since it is pretty clear in my head since it was just a few months ago. DD will be 2 in 2 weeks.We had 2 regression phases. The first hit right at 18 months. Bedtime went from being easy-peasy (pjs, teeth, books, kiss, bed, quiet) to a 60-90 rocking fest. It was like bedtime separation anxiety and DD did NOT want us to leave the room. We had to rock her until she was asleep or nearly asleep and letting her cry for a few minutes (previously necessary if she was overtired) just made it worse. That lasted about 2 weeks. And when it was over she started saying 2-3 new words *every day*.
    And then the overnight, sporadic waking started again. At first it was just 1-2 nights a week, and at its worst it was 5-6 nights a week. We just brought her to bed with us when she woke up in the middle of the night and she coslept until morning. Some nights we all slept great and some nights she was a restless kicker. But we figured that if she was restless in our bed she would be prone to waking more times in her own crib, so we might as well be getting not great sleep in our bed rather than being woken up by cries every hour and having to get *out* of bed.
    Just about the time we were severely doubting our decision to let her cosleep overnight the waking started to decrease again. And a night of good sleep helped to strengthen our resolve that we were doing the right thing for us.
    In our case, the waking has decreased substantially (now it’s 1-2 nights a week and I’m 90% sure she’s teething molars) and we haven’t had to “fix” anything. If she doesn’t wake up, she stays in her crib all night and we’re all happy.
    Oh, and now that sleep is back to normal she’s regularly speaking in 4-5 words sentences. Her brain has been working hard!

  18. 18-21 months you say???? My daughter has only come out of that sleep regression and turned 2, 2 weeks ago. About 2 days after her second birthday there was an over night improvement in her sleep, from waking 3 to 4 times a night, wailing every time I put her down, and serious, I mean serious, seperation anxiety, to sleeping 13 hours in a row the first 2 nights out of the regression and now consistently pulling 10/11 hour nights. I don’t want to get cocky as I know this will not go on for ever, but at least I know these regressions are only phases (albeit, sometimes damn long ones) which pass eventually (although, I seriously thought I would never see her sleep 10 hours in a row again)

  19. @Ann, some kids do kind of hold the current pattern until whatever regression is their tipping point. Non-sleeper-through-all-stages may start sleeping at 11 months, or 15, or 18, or 22, if that’s the stage where their brain grows in the way that it needs to in order to facilitate sleep.That said, my worst sleeper didn’t sleep through reliably until he had pediatric chiropractic, at (ulp) four YEARS old. Mr G had never slept well – very active sleeper, sweaty at night on a regular basis, and prone to snoring (usually quietly, but still snoring). These are all signs of apnea or other sleep disruption that may have a physical cause. So if you have miserable-sleeper with a lot of night kicking, squirming, rolling, pushing, and sweating or snoring (though sometimes you just get the activity), look for a health cause as well. It could be reflux, or sinus issues, environmental allergy, dietary intolerance (dairy is a huge sleep disrupter, good study out of Johns Hopkins on sleep disruption with preemies exposed to milk protiens through breastmilk or formula), etc. It can even be simple comfort issues – room temperature or the type of clothing used for sleep can make a HUGE difference.
    With Mr G, we had to drop the room temp to quite cold for him to be able to sleep at all. I think we did a dozen different things to improve general sleep pattern around this age – colder room, white noise, air filter for allergens, yadda yadda yadda – and they all helped a little (the room temp helped a LOT, but still left us with at least two wakings a night, often four – yeah, he was a six+/night kid on a regular basis). It wasn’t until he was four and his preschool teacher noted that he didn’t play at recess, but sat and watched the other kids play, that all my alarms went off for serious. I tried chiropractic with my fingers crossed, never having gone that route before, and HOLY MOLY, if that wasn’t the problem for him – granted, his neck was so severely torqued that I could see it with the naked eye on x-ray, and was shocked that I had never noticed just looking at him – but he tended to hold it straight, intentionally – it was only when he closed his eyes that his head would drift to one side and turn. Two weeks later, he was sleeping through the night, no snoring, no more falling out of bed or being found at the far end of the bed or crosswise, no sweating, better mood (though he’d always been sunny, he was now even more so), not tired in the morning at school, and PLAYING on the playground. WOO! We didn’t tell the teachers what we were doing, and they asked on their own – huge difference. So… whether the answer is chiropractic or cranial-sacral or diet or something else entirely, just worth considering whether there’s an underlying health/comfort issue. It certainly sucked to realize that ‘normal’ for Mr G was ‘too uncomfortable to sleep’. Yeah, not my shining moment as a parent, letting that ride for four years (I know, I didn’t know anything else, how could I have spotted it?) Anyway, passing my hard lesson on, just in case it saves someone else some misery.
    And of course, it could still just be a normal pattern waiting for the right brain development to shift…

  20. Can the 18 month sleep regression start at 16 months? Today I am at the end of my tether. Between my darling husband and my 16 month old, I got woken up every 2 hours last night. I’m 7 months pregnant and I cannot exist on this amount of sleep.Little Miss has always been a very poor sleeper. She goes down into her cot asleep after her bedtime routine and bottle. She usually wakes up and cries at about 10pm (we’ve checked, there’s no noise waking her that we can hear). She’s a tension increaser and becomes hysterical/inconsolable within a few cries. CIO is not an option for us.
    We then bring her into bed with us. She used to co-sleep quite happily and we were quite content with it, but these days she continually pulls my hair, kicks me, headbutts me, pokes me in the face and if she sleeps, she ends up lying across-ways and pushes me out of bed. If I am there she won’t go to my husband. In desperation I now go to the spare room if she starts this kind of behaviour, or else I am going to loose my temper and smack her one of these nights. I really don’t believe in smacking, but after 3 and a half hours of being hurt by her (no exaggeration), my temper hangs on a thread.
    She has been getting a bottle during the night (she used to take it and go straight back to sleep) but as this no longer works and she doesn’t really need it we are watering down the milk in the hope that she will think its not worth waking up for.
    We’re changing her over from babygro’s to pjs, ‘cos she seems to sleep better in them, and we’re going to get her a duvet in the hope that she’ll sleep better with that than with a sleepysac and blankets.
    We can’t actually think of anything else beyond these measures, apart from CIO, which really doesn’t work for our little girl. She is a bright, wonderful girl but pretty intense and very determined. Any ideas would be welcome. In desperation tonight, I am going to bed in the spare room at 8pm and letting husband and Little Miss get on with it, as there is no way I can cope tomorrow without a few hours sleep.
    Sorry for the long moan – can you tell that the sleep deprivation is really getting to me? Will be reading the posts with interest.

  21. When the 18 month sleep regression and working nights was kicking my ass I posted this quote from you fair Moxie in the middle of my computer screen, “Your kid may have a serious, mind-blowingly awful sleep regression at around 18 months. It’s not your fault, and it will pass.”It REALLY helped.

  22. I don’t have much to add, since (thankfully) we havent had tons of sleep issues (or, ive blocked them out of my mind!!)but all this talk of lovies reminds me of an email i got yesterday from the comfort silkie people – they need more business! my oldest son got one as a gift when he was a baby and still has it at age 5.5, even though its seperated on 3 out of 4 sides and is see through, its been through so many washings!!! obivously, he loves it. so if anyone needs a lovey, order one of theirs.

  23. @ End of thether, Hugs first 🙂 I wish I had good advice for you on this one. I have been there, not with the pregnancy on top of it, but a very active to put it nicely baby in between me and a loud snorer husband. There have been nights where I had to get up and take a “time out” to control my temper.Some how when I am at my most desperate, end of the line, try anything moments, Tike magically gets better. Usually the night after I break down and start calling/emailing desperate for help, he will sleep all night. It doesn’t last long but it is enough to regain my perspective.
    I hope tonight gives you some rest.

  24. I’ve stopped paying a lot of attention to how my now 22-month twins sleep, but I do remember things IMPROVING around 18 months. I decided to night-wean one of them (the other had already done it) at that time, and MY sleep has been a lot better since. It was tough for a few weeks, but after that, my husband could finally take an equal part in the nighttime duties, and we take turns being ‘on call’ which means I get nearly whole nights of sleep. Now we’re running into the problem that the boys have definite preferences for which parent they want, so taking turns doesn’t work so well, but still, sleep is better for me now than it’s been since they were born.

  25. I’m totally behind the Any Means Necessary approach, but the thing is, we’re still looking for the necessary means. Maybe there be an “I’m Doing Everything Including Nothing But Am Still Getting No Sleep” post for parents of toddler sleepers so bad that sleep regressions are simply not discernible?!(Also, please tell me I’m not the only one who has never found nursing in bed all that comfortable? It beats sitting up, but I’m hardly ever able to fall asleep while breastfeeding. I want to be one of those people who gets rhapsodic about just rolling over and going back to sleep.)

  26. Pumpkin is almost 22 months old now. I think we’re done with the regression and just back to our usual not so great sleep. She has slept through the night 3 times in her entire night. Right now, she’s up 1-2x/night most nights- for a while it was always 2 and OH! so hard to get her back down (she nurses, but has never nursed to sleep, really), and now it is easing back to usually being 1. In our past regressions, we would often have to sleep with Pumpkin for the last stretch in the night, and she always stopped needing that once the regression was done. So this time, we just started bringing her into bed. I’m not sure she’s going to stop wanting that, but I think I’ve figured out how not to care. Two things helped:1. I rock her pretty much back to sleep (or at least to pretty darn sleepy) before I bring her into bed. If I don’t do this, she spends what seems like an eternity (but is probably only 5-10 minutes) thrashing about, pulling my hair, etc. and I end up grumpy and awake.
    2. She likes to touch my hair. I was letting her do this while facing her or lying on my back, and that was leading to hair pulling and grumpy, awake Mommy. One night, I rolled over in frustration and turned my back to her. Ta Da! Everyone sleeps! My hair is easier to get to in the back.
    And I have to share what happened just last night. We are starting to nightwean again- we mostly did this at about 10 months, but could never get rid of the last feeding. Our current rule is that if she wakes up before 2, she doesn’t get nursed. The first three nights we had this rule in place, she slept past 2, so no drama. Last night, she woke up at 12:30. Hubby went in. Screaming ensued. Finally, after about 20 minutes of off and on screaming I went in, thinking I’d nurse or whatever but just let me go back to sleep! I held her, she whimpered “boppy” (her word for nursing) a few times, and she fell back to sleep. I brought her into bed with us, and she slept the rest of the night through, and didn’t even want to nurse first thing in the morning. So maybe she’s just been waking up to get company for the last few months??? Who knows. We were never cosleepers, but it looks like we’re heading that way, at least for the bit after she wakes up. Why fight it and not sleep when we can give in and sleep?

  27. (Whoops, that wasn’t supposed to be some kind of Middle English-y literary subjunctive, I meant to write “maybe there could be.”)

  28. I am with Moxie The idea that we have to punish babies to sleep by denying them the things that comfort them is medieval. Pacifiers, boobs, lovies, teddies, wave music…whatever gets you through the night. I am in the middle of the 15 month regression and molar teething, and it is driving us both up the wall. But we have our stinky rabbit and we have our pacifier and thank god for them both! …and my boobs as well. Denying them does not encourage better sleep. These regressions are normal and unfortunately inevitable. Sharing the load with the spouse/partner helps a lot. Having a grandparent come and take over morning breakfast so the parents can sleep in is also great…the only way out is through!

  29. @End of tether- how do you feel about drugs? Seriously, when we’re in a particularly bad sleep place with Pumpkin, I sometimes get so stressed by the whole situation that I can’t sleep even when she is asleep. So I resort to benadryl (diphenhydramine, in case it goes by a different brand name in your locale). I actually take tylenol PM, but the sleep inducing agent is the same. It is safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding- my ob/gyn recommended it when I was complaining about having to get up every 5 minutes to pee. He said it would give me about 5 hours of solid sleep, and he was right.If you’re breastfeeding, check that your kid doesn’t have an atypical reaction to benadryl first- a small percentage of kids get wired instead of sleepy. For that matter, check that you don’t have an atypical reaction!
    For us, it works great. I take my pill right before bed, go to bed stupidly early, and get a solid stretch of sleep. Hubby is in charge of first response to Pumpkin if she wakes up that night. He brings her to me if she needs to nurse.
    I don’t do this often, but it has been a life-saver for the times when Pumpkin’s sleep was really bad.

  30. @End of tether – In addition to my being pregnant, this is also a very tough time of year for me. When we have nights like you describe (and we’ve had MANY), my husband now gets out of bed and cosleeps with our girl in her room. If she doesn’t even see me and it’s not our bed where she’s expecting me, then she does better with him. In fact, he’s had two really tough nights in a row. Fortunately it’s he who insists on taking the really tough nights because of my situation.For you, I suggest maybe having your husband take your child into the spare room and cosleep in there, while you get to remain in your bed and sleep. Yes, it’s harder on him. But you are hard at work making a baby.
    Also, in order to ease things for him, I’ve been doing almost all of the putting her to bed. This is a very difficult task that takes close to 2 hours these days, but one I’m still able to handle at this stage of my pregnancy. I probably do it 5-6 nights a week. And if he’s had rough nights, he can go to bed early while I put her to bed.
    So if your husband does take on the rough nights while you are pregnant, maybe there is something you can do that he usually does or that you share to ease his childcare duties in other ways.
    Good luck! It really is rough, but it is just a phase. It will get better. Even the worst sleepers will eventually go to sleep on their own and sleep through the night (or so I’ve been told)!
    If you have any further questions for me on this subject or others, feel free to email me (caramamamia at gmail dot com).

  31. Oh, I remember! At 17 months, Mouse was sleeping through with one quick nursing session around 5AM. At 18 months, we moved her to a new daycare…and the weekend before that started I stuck my finger in her mouth and discovered 4 teething bumps for 4 molars. She had been decreasing nursing, I’d been planning to wean soon, and our best solution basically involved forgetting all about that until she was through the next 2 or 3 months…then at 21 months she got really sick (RSV requiring hospitalization followed by rotavirus a couple weeks later)…and then suddenly things got better–much better than they had been before the illnesses in fact. We came out of that tunnel about 22 1/2 months I think, and she started sleeping all the way through, eating a much bigger variety of food than she had been, and generally behaving like a bigger kid.So there’s another data point in the “plough on through and do what you have to” column–hugs to anybody still going through it!

  32. And I completely agree with Cloud, who suggested that I try the tylenol PM (or benedryl equivalent). I’m too nervous to take it on nights when I am cosleeping with the Pumpkin, but I have definitely taken it while pregnant and it has really helped.@Cloud – I also discovered that laying with my back to the Pumpkin gave her better access to my hair, which lead to less pulling and uncomfort for me. It’s really a great trick for those of us with kids who are obsessed with our hair.

  33. Hmmm…this makes me wonder if the plan to move the 14-month old out of our room in the next few days and into the bedroom with his 33 month old brother is a terrible idea. Both are pretty much sleeping through the night and it’s like a friggin’ miracle. I’ll probably cry if we back-slide, but it sounds almost inevitable. I think I’ll just cross my fingers, hope for the best…and keep the empty pack ‘n play in our room for awhile, just in case.As for advice: we’ve tried everything and what worked for us in the past was a combination of cuddling, rocking, nursing to sleep with a dash of I-know-you’re-100%-okay-so-you-need-to-CIO-for-a-few-minutes if they do wake up in the night. Best of luck! It really will pass but until it does: try and get some help so you can sleep too. You *have* to take care of yourselves as well.

  34. You know what makes me crazy? When people have that quote about “drink coffee; you can sleep when you’re dead” at the bottom of their emails. Obviously, those people are getting plenty of sleep.Yes, at 21 months, my girl has had several phases of night-wakings, lasting about a week each. She will usually fall back asleep with some milk, some walking around, and sometimes, some crying. She will usually put her head on my shoulder if I tell her to, and then she’ll get sleepy pretty quickly. I really shouldn’t complain. She’s a very good sleeper overall.

  35. Can you tell I think a lot about sleep?I have one more tip, discovered by my Hubby:
    Sometimes we have to tell Pumpkin to close her eyes. If she is not screaming or anything, but is not going to sleep, it is sometimes very helpful to just say “Close your eyes. Go to sleep.” Its like she forgets she needs to close them.
    @caramama- if someone could explain why Pumpkin is so obsessed with hair, I’d be very happy. We can’t get her attached to any lovey or stuffed animals- she says “No! ‘Way!” and tosses them away. She looooves my hair though. I have thought half-seriously about getting a short cut and having the hairstylist give me a ponytail of my hair….

  36. @Cloud – My girl is the same way! Forget lovies, she just wants my hair. And I’ve also half-seriously considered getting a ponytail of cut off. But what if it needs to be attached to be “right” for her? The HORROR! I had a nightmare once that I did get my hair cut about chin length, and my girl flipped out cause she couldn’t reach it!

  37. @Cloud – La, one night when she was resolutely not sleeping, she complained that her eyes were dry – I told her to rest her eyes (by closing them) to make them feel better. Since then, when she decides that she’s ready to settle down and go to sleep she tells me, “I’m going to rest my eyes now.” Which, my husband thinks is hilarious. She’s 6 now and she goes to sleep pretty well, most of the time. I still keep her company, but it lasts 10-15 minutes, not 2 hours (like when she was 2 or 3).Oh – and if you have to keep someone company while they’re falling asleep, laying with your back to them is helpful because it’s not as distracting – La would keep her eye on me, and then it would turn into a staring contest and still no sleep.

  38. given that my kid never recovered from the 4 month sleep regression (he’s 13 months now and has slept longer than 4 hours straight exactly twice in the last 9 months-the day he learned to crawl and the last time he got his shots)I just pray it can’t get any worse at 18 months. Please tell me it can’t get any worse!

  39. Anyone dealing with babies that are crying but still sleeping and won’t wake up to be comforted? He’s been sleeping relatively well for the last month or so. He’s 16 months now but the past couple of nights he’s started crying out. Last night he was crying and not settling himself back to sleep so I went in to rock him back down and I swear me being there made it worse. He became hysterical, pushing against me and fighting me but when I put him back in his crib, he cried louder. It was awful and I don’t think he ever woke up. He finally seemed to just wear himself out and let me hold him until he fell into a deep enough sleep for me to put him back down. I really don’t want to go through that again.

  40. @Tamar – I can’t sleep while nursing in bed, and some nights, especially lately, it takes me a loooong time to get back to sleep. Of course, I also have SAD, verging this year on PPD, and we’re coping with the beginning of the 8-month regression, so sleep is both precious and hard to get right now, and I’m refusing to feel guilty about sleeping late (I’m SAH, so I can).

  41. @mom2boys – That sounds like what I’ve read about night terrors. You may want to do some research on those. I forget what my research said to do, mainly because I quickly realized that was not what my daughter has.

  42. Moxie – this was a supremely great post! You reminded me (oh, yeah, and it was timely too!) just what I needed to do and gave me that we’re-all-in-this-together feeling. THANK YOU!

  43. god help me, i had parental amnesia-blocked all the sleep hell we had gone through with the pnut…the bean is a terrible sleeper as well, damnit. he wakes up so much and it’s starting to kill me! i need to start figuring it all out but i am so damn tired…he is 7 months now, who knows what damn regression/developmental spurt/teething crap he’s going through but i am done…it doesn’t matter if he’s in the swing or co sleeper, he won’t go longer than four hours, period. ugh.and i think it’s b/c my boobs aren’t big enough for me to ever lay down and nurse on my side- i do the four pillows behind me body pillow as a boppy thing when he wakes up to nurse- really comfortable in a full size bed with a 6’2″ husband and a cat trying to muscle in some space too…she usually goes in the cosleeper while he’s in bed with me, then they switch. i just want 6 hours of me, sleeping alone, in my bed. that’s all. that’s not too much to ask, right? sigh.

  44. DS is 3.5 years old. Most of the time, he goes to bed without much fuss and most of the time he sleeps all the way through the night. Unless he’s sick. When he’s sick, all bets are off and I might be up 2-3 times in the night. We use a sound machine every night – all night, he loves his paci, and we have a predictable routine.The biggest sleep prop we have and still use to get him to go back to sleep in the middle of the night is a bottle of milk. Yes, you heard me right. A BOTTLE AT 3.5 YEARS OLD. And it works. In the middle of the night, if he wakes up, a bottle of milk will send him (usually) back to sleep. It doesn’t even need to be a big bottle of milk. Sometimes I wish we hadn’t set it up this way….I’m days away from delivering #2 and often wonder what will happen when they both want ME in the middle of the night…..but the bottom line is, it works for us. And I’m not too worried we’ll be doing this when he’s 4, or 5 or 6….it’s just what he needs now to comfort himself back to sleep. I spent a lot of time when he was younger worrying about setting up bad habits for later…..I spent hours patting and rocking and doing everything but giving him milk to soothe him back to sleep because I didn’t want him to depend on that later to go back to sleep…..but then I realized I had a choice…I could either spend an hour *or more* time trying to get him back to sleep using the method *I* thought he should use to go back to sleep, or I could spend TEN minutes using the method *he* thought he should use to get back to sleep.
    And we all know that you can’t argue (and win) with a baby. Or a toddler. And especially not a preschooler. Though I think my preschooler would love love LOVE to have one of Moxie’s trained monkey assistants come give him milk at 2 AM so please, let me know when you have that farm up and running…..

  45. @mom2boys, I agree – sounds like night terrors. They’re typical around that age. Freaky, too. The best thing to do if you must go in is to say you love them calmly and gently a few times, don’t touch them, and then just hang out if you can’t make yourself leave. The more you interact, the worse it gets until they get out of the dream state. (essentially, they’re in dream state but without the body-paralysis that usually comes with dream state. If the behavior sticks around, you may end up with a sleep walker – Mr B will sleep-walk on occasion, still, at 7, which isn’t usually too scary unless, say, he tries to walk out the hotel room door without saying a word at 2 AM… AAHHHH!)@End of tether, same child (Mr B – second boyo) did what we called ‘sleeping like a helicopter’ – in his case it wasn’t quite as thrashy/kicky (not the hugely disruptive sleep his brother had), but pushing, the odd arm-whack-across-the-nose, rotating through to the H position, pushing, rotating head down, rotating across, pushing, … all night. Even in my mom’s huge bed with nobody but him and his grandma, helicopter boy. He outgrew it. He’s now a pretty decent bed-sharer. So it may come.
    Other ideas – try to keep her feet and hands cool (no socks, keep hands free of blankets), while body warm (the pj’s may be working because of this) – sleep sack also is a problem if her feet get warm. She may have trouble regulating her night temperature without being able to kick off and pull on blankets/layers or expose her feet to keep them cool. A six degree difference between hands/feet/face (cooler) and body (warmer) is I think the ideal for sleeping conditions – I’d have to check the research, to be certain.
    Map the wakings. If there is ANY pattern, you won’t be able to spot it until you look at it in the daylight. I mapped the wakings (including ‘seems hungry/drank a lot’ and ‘seemed thirsty’ or ‘wanted comfort’ – basically checkboxes) with Mr G, and was able to spot the times when it was more appropriate to just give straight water – it turned out that there were times he really didn’t want to NURSE, he was JUST thirsty. Nursing annoyed him and made him wake more, though it was still the best option until I introduced a sippy of water to the overnight routine. So, try two options, instead of JUST watering down the milk, try one milk, one water. When I did that, it became clear that 2 of the wakings didn’t need me at all. I just dropped a few sippies of water next to him so he could find them in the dark. That helped a LOT. A snack right before bed helped eliminate one waking for nursing, too. He just wasn’t done eating yet. (I swear he’ll be a midnight-raid-the-fridge teen…)
    Reflux meds also helped (he also had silent reflux, no symptoms except some minor but ongoing congestion – yeah, sixty million issues, sigh). And the chiropractic. And the white noise. And blackout curtains. And air filter (source of the white noise, actually). And cooler room (his body temp is lower than average, so a ‘room temp’ room is too hot for him to sleep in. Night setback to 65 is juuuuust fine with him.)
    Changing to flannel sheets year-round also helped – even though he had a low temp preference, he was sensitive to the temperature change if he rolled onto an exposed area of flat weave sheets.
    One of my kids is very light-sensitive, so even light under the door was too much.
    Another needs ideas for what to dream about when she goes to sleep, sometimes. Try the book ‘Sleep Ponies’ for the concept. Miss M likes to picture dreaming about riding sharks through the ocean, or having the biggest garden in the world, where she can pick any flowers she wants and nobody will ever scold her for pulling off their petals (resolution of a bad parenting moment, there… invent your own where you said no, and they’d love to hear yes, for them to dream about).
    Two kids needed to be reminded that the body has to be still to sleep, so put your hands and feet and head down and hold still.
    One needs to stretch a lot before bed, and will sneak out the Yoga deck (cards of positions) before bed. For him, massage, pulling on and pushing on limbs (stretch/compress joints), and head-stroking help a lot.
    One needed a weight on her belly (an arm or hand across).
    Heh, it looks like I have 45 kids… but just four, with many different intersecting issues that affect comfort and sleep. And yet – Mr G goes to bed without complaint (though he does tend to stay up reading), Mr B only sometimes needs some PT help (yoga, stretching, large-muscle activity like bouncing on the mini-trampoline for a while), but mainly just gets into bed and is asleep in 10-15 minutes. Miss R and Miss M still need coaching and don’t really WANT to settle down and sleep (four year olds and sleep… different issues, more about choice and control), but once they’re down, they usually go out like lights.
    So, there is hope. Really. It may seem forever away, but it exists. Keep trying things, you may find some odd thing that helps. Or you may just give yourself something to do until it gets better on its own. Either way, your sanity will improve, and sleep will eventually come.

  46. Just sympathizing/venting here. My daughter is a pretty good sleeper overall, but had some rough times (waking up screaming 2-4 times a night several times a week) from 18-21 months that I was thankfully prepared for because of Moxie. Not that I could DO anything about it, but at least I was expecting it. She got back to sleeping all night at about 22 months. Her little brother was born when she was 23 months old and she kept right on with the great sleeping….until I went back to work after maternity leave ended at the first of the year. Now, she’s up almost every night 1-2 times AND she has woken up for the day between 5:15 and 6am every morning when she had been sleeping until 7 or 7:30. Since I’m not hearing anything about 25-26 months sleeping problems, it seems like this is an attempt to get more mom time since I went back to work after I was home for 6 weeks. Ugh. If that doesn’t make a mommy sad nothing will.

  47. Mom2boys,I know this is going to sound awful but. What you are describing sounds like “Night terrors”. This is a different sleep cycle than the dreaming (REM) part and yes, it is difficult to wake the sleeper. My sister had these, and my son had a few episodes. They sure feel awful. My mother would take my sister and put her on the living room floor surrounded by pillows to let her thrash, bcause it seemed like in the crib she’d crack herself good.
    I told myself over and over that unlike “bad dreams”, sleepers don’t seem to remember these night terrors. So that’s one good thing about them.
    other than that, they grow out of them, and some people may have a couple and never again. My sister is grown and did not have them ever again after she was little.

  48. I have no idea why my 24 month old isn’t sleeping. He has always been a great sleeper (sorry, but honestly he’s so difficult in other ways he makes up for it). Until 22 months. He was sick for a month so I figured he was waking at night due to that. Now he’s been well for a month but still waking 1-2 times a night. He wants to be held for one minute than goes back down no problem. I struggle with insomnia so am often up all night as a result. Not fun. I have no idea what to do to get him to break this pattern. I don’t think I can do CIO at this age. Will it pass eventually on it’s own? Has anyone ever experienced this strange turn in sleep habits?

  49. @hydrogeek, after 2 years old, the cycles trend toward the half-years. 2 1/2, 3 1/2, etc. Unfortunately, they also become very individual in cycle – some have very long phases that start early (just a few months into the year), others have phases that start early/end early, or start late end late, start late end early…My kids all cycle into the disregulation (including sleep and eating behavior) around 5 months into each year, and run a good six months (sigh) with various peaks and valleys (plus a short sinkhole right around their birthdays again, but that’s maybe a month and a bit). If you watch for it, you’ll find the pattern. Check out the Your X Year Old series, they’ll pick up where the Wonder Weeks left off.
    My mom every year around January thinks it would be a grand idea to have my kids over more often, say, for the entire summer. By May, she’s certain she must have been crazy to consider it. All my kids are born at the same time (three share a birthday, one is two weeks earlier), so they all disregulate at once. It’s, uh, fun. Summer sucks. My kids have more accidents, more disruptions, more attitude, more tantrums, more food and clothing resistance, more everything from March on to about mid-September.
    Anyway, you may have hit the disregulation introductory bit for the half-year stages. I know a few kids who hit it around 3 months after their birthdays, at least at this age (fortunately it gets less… um, LOUD as they get older, mostly. Maybe just ‘different’? Still different is good…).

  50. (Granted, you could also be totally right about it being attention need – check out the Your Two Year Old book for ideas and commiseration, anyway.)

  51. Thank for this timely reminder!I thought my 17 month old was just teething, or had a stomach ache, or an ear ache, or all three. He’s been a really good sleep for so long that his recent 2-3 hour midnight wake-ups threw us for a loop!
    This makes me feel less crazy. And I will remind myself of it when I feel that sleep deprived *RAGE* coming on at 4am. It is this rage that I hate most about sleep depravation. Its so hard to control in the middle of the night when you just want to sleep!! And I always feel ashamed in the morning for lashing out at my husband or screaming at my child “JUST GO TO SLEEP!!” Even though I know I am not alone in this.

  52. all i have to say is thank you!! thank you thank you thank you, all of you, moxie, and all of the commenters. we’ve been going through a torturous regression with our almost 2 yr old, who has never been a great sleeper, and it is just so reassuring to know we are not alone. SO not alone, in fact, that 6 of us from our playgroup have pitched in and are hiring a “sleep doula” to come do a q & a with us next week. i’ll post if we learn anything groundbreaking. good luck everyone!

  53. And this is why I love you:***In general, I think sleep crutches of all sorts, from pacifiers to rocking to loveys, get a super-bad rap. No one has to bring their mom along to college to nurse them to sleep. And so what if you have to sleep with a white noise machine? If it bugs you when you’re 30 you can break the habit your own self, and leave your poor parents out of it. ****
    🙂
    My little guy didn’t START sleeping well til about 17 months, so thank GOD I didn’t get a regression a month later. 🙂
    But I am firmly in the “figure out how to live through it any way you can” camp. Nothing lasts forever. Sleep deprivation sucks.
    At least as they get older you can sort of talk them through things. That really helped me. Explaining in advance how the night will go. “Tonight we’re going to try something… if you wake up, why don’t you ask Curious George if he would snuggle with you?”… stupid things I know, but sometimes you find something.

  54. Oh, and I found that the less I stressed about it and the less I tried to “figure it out”, the easier it was to live through.

  55. @Jill – we’ve had some luck recently with just talking about things with our 17 mo too!Last night my husband said to him “when you get really tired, just let me know you want to get back in your crib.” He said they rocked for about 10 minutes, then the little guy POINTED TO HIS CRIB!! My husband put him down and left the room.
    Of course 20 minutes later, the baby was up again. But then we finally figured out it really WAS teeth and gave him some Tylenol. And that is what finally did it. After 3 looooooooooong hours

  56. DS is 16 months now and has always been a crappy sleeper, but the regressions have proved to be a whole new bucket of fun for us here. So…NOT looking forward to the brain dead sleep less nights. But feeling more prepared than I was for the first few regressions so there’s that.About the HAIR!! My niece LOVES hair, too, and my sister-in-law has given her this fake hair scrunchie that she bought at the grocery store. You’ve seen them around, right? They’re really an elastic band with fake hair spilling out all over, braids, sometimes blue or pink, usually for pre-teens. Hope this helps someone!

  57. Thanks, Elisa. That’s a good idea. I may try that. My Little Pony and various yarn-haired dolls have been unpopular, but really, what have I got to lose? If she doesn’t like it now, maybe she’ll like it when she’s 12.

  58. Wow! I’ve been reading old regression posts just for some peace of mind. This past weekend our 17 mos. old started revelry at 3:30 AM, he had been sleeping ok prior, so we were caught by surprise, I guess this is a warm-up for 18 mos. Since the weekend was sooo bad in terms of sleep and then grumpy mom, dad and toddler, hubby and I have come up with a plan, which seems to help with my anxiety and overall surliness when my sleep is interrupted. The plan is to let toddler cry and fuss for about 15 minutes in the hopes he’ll go back to sleep, which actually happens on occasion. Next I will go in and nurse & rock, this used to be the great elixir, but as a previous poster commented, this is not working like it used to. Next, hubby will get him, bounce on exercise ball, rock, give him a tic tac…that’s questionable I know, he will also let him walk around, this was mentioned previously too. This weekend, I ended up sleeping on the floor with toddler on my pillow. I tried bringing him to bed, but that was too stimulating, he stands up, falls off…not a good thing.Naps have become bad too, 30/40 minutes he’s crying like crazy, I go back in & nurse, sometimes he goes back but today he preferred to play peekaboo instead. I decided to lie down on his floor and let him wander around the room, at least I got some rest & perhaps model that this is a time for napping.
    I haven’t read all the posts, so please ignore if this has been addressed…these kids who have such trouble sleeping…what does the future hold for them? Do they grow into sleepy preschoolers? Or does the intensity and go go go continue?

  59. this is partly in response to “end of tether”‘s post. in my opinion, people on this site tend to give CIO short shrift. i’m not one of those mothers who thinks it’s the answer to everything. (i tried it for naps, and gave up after 2 weeks with no improvement; now, for naps, i lie down with Z until he falls asleep.) and i understand that it seems cruel to some. but it worked wonders for Z’s night sleep (and ours). i see a lot of posts about how CIO “didn’t work” because the baby kept crying after a few minutes. and i identify, because initially we felt that way too. the hard truth about CIO is that often the baby cries (and escalates, and screams) for an hour or even more. it’s really, really hard to do. but most babies do learn, and the situation can become immeasurably better for baby and parents. and, truly, if your baby is getting lots of love during the day (which i’m sure she is), CIO (with periodic checks/pats) will not scar her.

  60. @mom2boys FWIW, our little guy has done this too. He’s only 7 months, so at a different stage, but a few times he woke up screaming (which he never does…a good sleeper, so far). If I tried to rock him, he got more upset, or if I tried to put him in a horizontal position (back in his crib or BF), it got worse too. The first time it happened, we tried a bunch of things and finally realised he might be teething. Bingo. Cold washcloths & tempra to the rescue. Also, for whatever reason, we had to keep him vertical. Horizontal was not good until the tempra kicked in.(Ha. My ‘good sleeper’ just woke up. That’ll show ya.)
    Anyhow, just wanted to chime in with another experience for the same symptoms. (Though now I’m starting to wonder if our little guy was having night terrors that happened to coincide with teething!!).

  61. Elisa – That’s a good idea. I’ll have to try that. The My Little Pony worked for a couple days, but then did not (sorry it didn’t work for you either, Cloud!).

  62. Oh yeah! The 18 month regression! Dare I hope that we just lived through it? Our girls just turned 18 months last weekend, and just this week they seem to have come out of this multi-week stretch of multiple wakeups per girl per night, complete with lots of fussing and thrashing (they started it… I fussed later). Top that off with Farmer Girl waking up at 3:30 or 4am for over a week. Fortunately, that predawn wakeup was managed with a big bottle of milk – then she’d go back to sleep. All the rest, well, those were dealt with a few cuddles, diaper changes, and eventually it dawned on me that now was the time to let them cry it out. I thought for sure that Baby A was dealing with miserable gas pains (every night, multiple times, no matter what I fed her), and while yeah, she farted every night while crying at these midnight wakings, it turns out that a minute and a half of crying on her own and she’d fall back to sleep! It only took me a couple of weeks to figure that one out.My guess is that that was just a prelude to the REAL 18 month regression. But I can hope!

  63. @hedra – thanks for talking about room temp. I have a feeling that my 16 month old son is too hot but I am so paranoid about him getting too cold that I really struggle to get it right. We are in AUS so it is summer here. We leave the AC set on 68 and the room varies up and down through the night. We have him in a thin long sleeve onesie and the 2.5 tog Grobag. I worry about his arms being exposed so have always used long sleeves but then again, maybe he was always been too warm and he hasn’t been the greatest sleeper. Will continue to experiment with temp.Our latest dramas – 1)waking about 2 hours after he goes to sleep and 2) farting around that time. Trying various gas remedies and cut out the yogurt before bed. Anyone with any ideas on the 2 hour after bed wake-up?? It drives me batty.
    He has always slept in his crib and we went through a month or so of sleeping through the night but now we have at least one wake-up a night (the 9 pm one for sure). We just did the sleep shuffle which i think worked well. I always stayed with him and patted him to sleep and now he can go to sleep on his own. It’s just the middle of hte night wake-ups that are not improving. Anyone have any thoughts??

  64. I thought I’d just come back and say thank you to everyone for their suggestions and support – they are very much appreciated. I had a reasonable nights sleep on my own last night and the world looks a different place today. Picture me now dancing through the daffodils and singing ‘the flowers that bloom in the spring, tra la!’!!The other amazing thing is that after my husband brought Little Miss into our bed after she woke at about 10pm, she then proceeded to sleep through for seven and a half hours!! So maybe its me waking her as well as the other way round. I think we’ll have another few nights sleeping separately to try and get everyone topped up on sleep and then we’ll try keeping her in her cot. I’m also going to try putting one of our pillows in her cot, so that she can smell the scent of us as she does in our bed.
    Anyway, with some more sleep, my brain can now process some of this information and start planning various strategems if the sleep goes awry again. Thank you ladies, and I’m also glad to realise I’m not the only one who has a hair puller!

  65. @hope: the other thing to watch for is fruit/juice – pears, apple, and anything with a pit (peach, apricot, cherry, prune) – they may all overwhelm the body’s ability to absorb fructose, and young kids have the lowest capacity. Watch for apple juice and apple products in particular (which are ubiquitous in kids foods), and just cut back on those or switch to white grape or frozen concentrated OJ if those are tolerated. That should help reduce the fructose that gets to the colon, so it won’t ferment and create gas. Gas drops are more effective for specific types of gas (small bubble types), and only work for about 7% of the population. Just reducing the cause is far more useful (you are part-right with the yogurt before bed, likely – inulin, FOS, chicory, and any other prebiotic can also result in excess gas production if the system is overwhelmed.)@Alice – I think to be fair, we tend to be against ‘generalized CIO’ as a trend – I am a big fan of Dr Ferber, USING his techniques, rather than just using what seem to be his techniques. In other words, it is worth reading his book, not trying to apply the method without really understanding how, when, or why to do so. He is not at all happy that people apply CIO willy-nilly, as if it was the solution to any kind of problem. It is the solution to a very specific sleep issue, and shouldn’t be used except for that issue, per his research and experience. And there are other solutions for that issue, so his (NEW EDITION) book is really the place to start for that. It may or may not help in any particular case, but understanding why and when and how to use it should make it feel sane and possible rather than totally miserable to the parents involved. And as Moxie has said many many times, some kids release tension by crying, and really CANNOT settle well without doing so. Refusing to let them cry when it suits their function is not the best choice, either. I’ve got one who wandered between both of those, and I just learned to tune into what he sounded like when he was starting to cry because he wanted to go to sleep and when he was starting to cry because he didn’t want to go to sleep (for a reason – needing something). One would de-escalate in about 6 minutes, the other would just ramp up until he was overwrought and adrenaline-drenched, which would mean two more hours before he could sleep.
    Anyway, yeah, CIO in general gets a bad rap – BUT, yes, there are times and places and reasons for using it. I just lean really hard on ‘if you are even thinking about trying it, GET THE BOOK, so you understand really clearly how, how to tell when, what signs say it is working, what signs say it isn’t, when to keep trying, when to stop, when to try again another time, etc.

  66. @Hedra: I’ve never met a mother who applied Ferber without reading him; I agree that wouldn’t be a good idea. And I think that, although his solution is for a “specific” sleep problem, it’s an incredibly common problem. I like Moxie’s tension builder v. releaser idea in theory, but in practice found that Z built a *lot* of tension before he was able to get himself to sleep, so I worry that some parents who would benefit from Ferber in the long run give up because they’re looking at the situation through that dichotomy. You’re lucky that your kids de-escalate in 6 minutes, but I wouldn’t want other parents to feel that, if their kid doesn’t, they shouldn’t persist. And to be clear, my comments are in the spirit of maximizing the options for tired, overwhelmed parents and pushing against a stigma I see on this site (a site I otherwise love), not of telling parents they “should” Ferberize.

  67. We Ferberized at 7 mos. The first night took 45 minutes; the second 15, the third 5. Now she goes down easily. I’m knocking on wood as I write this.

  68. Alice you’re totally right – I don’t want anyone to think that the six-minute thing is the starting point. And there are a zillion kinds of kids, not just two!I do, however, know a slew of parents who learned CIO by chatting with other parents or even non-parents who had heard of it, and did NOT get it from a book – the internetz is filled with parents who used CIO at 6 or 12 weeks along, because, well, the kid wasn’t sleeping! Even though Ferber is very clear that it shouldn’t be used before 6 months. I know a mom who used it – without improvement, which meant with extensive crying the entire time – for four WEEKS on her preemie twins. She was afraid that she was almost to the point where it would work, almost almost almost, and if she stopped, she was going to never get there. Her aunt had told her to use the method, using her recollection of having used it on her own kids… The twins were I think 12 or 14 weeks (can’t recall if adjusted or not) when she finally found out that she wasn’t doing it right, and preemie twins at that age weren’t SUPPOSED to be sleeping very long at a go. She was shattered to know that she’d been causing suffering with no point or reasonable expectation of results. Fortunately, she landed in a supportive community, and she learned a lot – including don’t take just any advice you get.
    I also figure that anyone reading the book will spot whether their child is in there – and will see if the method AS DESIGNED (or any of the other methods) is maybe appropriate. Harder to do that socially or by message board.
    I think any parent who is overwhelmed and exhausted should consider reading the book – what they decide is appropriate from there for them is up to them, entirely. And it may not help, too. But it is another option (and if you’re really stuck, go to see one of the infant/child clinics or find a pediatric sleep specialist – who was it here who did that? It’s like getting nursing advice from the internet – sometimes someone has to actually be there to see the details to be able to help you find an answer!)
    I think I was trying to make the point that reading the book is a starting point, not the end point, in the decisions. Maximum options are a good thing. Maximum understanding of how to assess the options, also a good thing – hence, again, doing some reading. 🙂

  69. Ahh..we are doing this now, as V just hit 18-months in the middle of January. Previously, I had barely noticed the regressions b/c her sleep went from horrible to even-more-horrible.We actually got a stretch that was okay from about the middle of October until now. My dirty little secret was that I started driving her around to get her to nap without nursing, so that we could wean. We are, however, still nursing before bed b/c she just doesn’t want to give it up. Over the holidays, since her dad was around for naps, we managed to transition to sleeping in the crib for a few weeks, and then WHAM! she wanted no part of any kind of naps.
    We had those 10 or so blissful weeks when she actually slept through the night, but that’s gone too now. I suspect the nap upset has a ton to do with it; when she refuses to nap, she’s melting down by 8:30 and usually falls asleep nursing, which is an association we worked really hard to break. I also think when her night-time routine gets short-circuited (e.g., falling asleep in the car, on the boob, etc) she wakes up in her crib and goes “what the heck happened?”
    I see some interesting posts about sleeping in a bed. I’ve always heard to leave them in cribs for as long as possible, but that’s something to consider. (Helen, Nutmeg, etc)
    @yasmara – Thanks for the tip on leaving the room; I did that successfully w/ V last night.
    @Jen – I think V is truly thinking about giving up her nap as well, unless it’s really enforced (today we went for a drive). I almost died when Moxie mentioned that her 3yo is giving up his nap…I was like “huh? no way V is still napping at 3!” But I still pray that this is just part of the regression and she’ll go back to napping on her own someday.
    @Tamar – I hated BF’ing lying down too. I have to say though, for the first 8 months or so, BF’ing sitting up practically put me in a coma. Just having the baby *be quiet* and sitting at the same time made me sleepy.
    @Cloud – V is obsessed with rubbing my hair on her face, but we’ve finally come to an agreement that she gets to do it while we rock standing up with her head on my shoulder and NOT try to do it while nursing, b/c my hair is just not that long.
    @mom2twoboys – V had a phase like that. What we did depended on how she was acting: if she could settle down asleep, we never woke her, but if she was really freaked out, but still sleeping, we’d take her out of the room and get her awake. At first we were really leery of that b/c we thought it would mean ‘awake and happy-play time’ but she almost always went immediately back to sleep. Night terrors and other sleep disturbances run on both sides of our families so it didn’t surprise me when she had some.

  70. Just wanted to add to the CIO debate. I experimented with controlled crying at 8 months and found my LO to increase tension. I couldn’t cope with it and so resumed previous patterns and looked at alternative ways to get more sleep. Al 12 months, I gave it another go to see if I could get her to sleep without nursing. She cried for less than 5 mins and then fell asleep. Less than 5 mins!! I couldn’t believe it. She has mostly put herself to sleep each night since. It didn’t stop all the nightwakings but we were reduced one to per night. At 15 months, I sensed another sweet spot and sent hubby in to put her back to sleep for the 5am nightwaking. In less than a week, she had (again, mostly) given that up. Now she (mostly) sleeps from 7-6:25. Well… until the next regression!Anyway, my point is, that I think that if I had persevered with controlled crying at 8 months, it would have been a fraught process, but by waiting for what I sensed to be calmer moments, we were able to change long held habits relatively easily. Well, that’s my theory for us. Of course, as we all know, babies all follow their own rules!!
    Good luck everyone. Look after yourselves!

  71. @hedra, thanks for reminding about the 1/2 year disorganization thing again! from the mom of a very clingy, more-frustrated-than-usual 4 yrs. 9 months old…who was a *very* frustrated 3 yrs. 9 months old and a dang near impossible 2 yrs. 9 months old. You rock!

  72. @hedra – thanks re: fruit. I do give him a lot of apple based products, so will try to cut back on that as well. I put him in a really thin onesie last night and turned up the ac to med speed and he slept through until 6.35 – the longest sleep in about 7 months. Wow. Probably a fluke but I will take it. We gave him some Gripe Water before bed as well – not sure if you have it in the US – supposed to cut down on gas/tummy upsets. Will see. I think the key is keeping him cool.With any luck we will sort all of this out just in time for his 18 month regression! : ) (one month away)

  73. mom2boysNight terrors.
    They get worse during sleep regressions.
    If it happens again, you’re going to have to figure out what works for YOUR family. That whole “Just don’t touch them!” thing does NOT work for everybody. Fitz-Hume just ramps up and up until she hurts herself. Not cool.
    Here’s what works for her:
    1. Smelling me.
    2. Being held with someone’s heartbeat against her heart.
    3. Having her axis changed (if she’s horizontal, make her vertical, and vice versa)
    4. Walking the floor with her and making an endless shhhhhhhhhhhhh sound.
    5. Feeding her in her sleep. This one is the absolute napalm for night terrors for us. Just make her a bottle, pick her up, stroke her lower lip until she opens her mouth, then feed her in her sleep. By the time she’s done with a bottle, she has shifted in her sleep stages and the night terrors are over for the night.
    Caveat: If a baby is screaming hysterically, don’t stick a bottle in there, because they’re going to choke. Start teasing their lip with a pacifier, and when s/he responds to the pacifier and latches on, quickly swap it out for the bottle.

  74. THANK YOU MOXIE – this is what we are living now. I just read your archive post on the 18-month regression this week. It helped me tremendously.The last few nights my usually good sleeper wakes around 1 AM hysterically crying and will not be consoled. He is AWAKE so I know it is not a night terror. He just points at his bedroom light indicating that he wants us to turn it on. I guess he wants to get up for the day?
    We don’t take him out of his crib, but I do hug him and talk softly to him and ask him to sign to me what he needs. But he just gets more mad the more you try to help. Last night we tried for 15 minutes to calm him down, but nothing was working so we left the room. 30 seconds after we left, he put himself back down and went back to sleep. WTF is that about???

  75. I’m with those of you who say that this 18 month regression is just a crappy sleeper turned crappier… Our little guy slept great at 4 months, and each regression our nights (and naps) have slipped further and further into the abyss. He ONLY falls asleep while nursing, in the car, or when being walked around the house in our ergo carrier.We have not tried the Ferber method because we are terrified that our guy is too old, at 18 months. Most people talk about sleep training using the controlled crying method at under a year. I don’t know what my son will do if we leave him in his crib to cry, and I have a really hard time envisioning him falling asleep by himself! (But boy won’t that be awesome).
    I’m at the point, I just don’t make enough milk to put him to sleep at night anymore, and really, not enough to aid him to sleep at naptimes, either. So we have hours of struggle just to get him to sleep the FIRST time, let alone managing the wake ups.
    I really want to help him figure out how to fall asleep (and go back to sleep) on his own. From reading Ferber, I understand that a big reason for night wakings is the way in which he fell asleep. But, also, I fear that this developmental phase is also giving him reason to RESIST going to sleep – and fear that trying Ferber’s method at this age will just be counterproductive…
    Any one who can share an experience with trying the Ferber method with an 18 month old will be very appreciated!

  76. @lucybrook, I haven’t tried it specifically with a toddler, but I WILL highly encourage you to wait until the phase passes. Because really, I can remember this stage, and having anything more confusing and scary and world-altering added to it would have been awful. JUST being in the phase is bad enough. If you can wait until the phase is passing or past (but don’t wait too long or you’ll end up in another), it will be easier to work through, no matter how you approach it.I can say that from experience of night-weaning around that age (slightly older, coming out of the stage), and there was NO WAY I was going to do it during the stage, but we had a major dental event that was going to create some additional tooth flaw (two pulpotomies plus crowns – my kids have soft teeth, sigh), and night nursing was one of the very few things left that was under my control – not a huge additional risk to the tooth flaw (the seam between the tooth and crown), but enough of one. And, well, I can’t control their genetics. SO – night weaned. Just told them that starting that night, there would be no nursing at night. One of the twins simply DID NOT WAKE UP that night, or the next two nights, either. The other woke up, got REALLY PISSED, screamed, thrashed, I took her to the bathroom as a quiet space, she calmed down, and in a few minutes, we went back to bed – without nursing. She wasn’t thrilled with the idea, but she also over the next few days stopped waking up to nurse. She still woke to cuddle, though. Can’t win them all! Anyway, the point is that waiting until their brains are at their best function (when of course it matters least to us because it isn’t making us crazy) is a very good time to make a change like that.
    Hang in there…

  77. It looks like most people who are posting still breastfeed, which makes me wonder, do bottle fed/weaned babies go through these regressions? I ask because I’m sooo ready to wean my 17 month old. Nightweaning has worked off and on, but I’m just tired of the whole deal. (Breastfeeding never got enjoyable for me, and a lot of the time it’s downright uncomfortable. Still.) The thing is, there are still nights that the only way I get some rest is by nursing, which at least lets me sit down instead of walking the floor. So…if chances are these regressions are more prone to breastfeeding kiddos, I’m ready to wean. If not, maybe I’ll keep doing whatever works to get some sleep and try weaning in a couple months.

  78. @akeeyu – thank you! we just entered into his 18 mo sleep regression and while the night terrors haven’t returned he has woken the past couple of nights completely discombobulated and quite unhappy. I think your tips will help even if it isn’t a full blown night terror episode. During sleep regressions he mostly wants to be held so he can sleep – don’t know what the change is from but it’s a definite pattern now that I know to look for it.

  79. My 18 month old son seems to be having a large amount of gas and gas pains, especially at night. I think he might sleep through the night if it weren’t for the gas pains waking him up.

  80. my friend just sent me the link to this post after i posted on my fb about my 20-month old going through an AWFUL sleep regression. previously she would sleep 11 hours at night plus a 2.5 hour nap every afternoon; recently she’s had nights where she wakes up to 8 times and only totals 8 hours, including the wakes! i’m actually SUPER comforted to realize that it is a developmental issue, and she’ll outgrow it. i do recall her having 2 simial regressions (at 4 & 10 months) and following those she went RIGHT back to sleeping like a champ with no issues. it’s just difficult at this older age; i felt guilty at first thinking i had done something wrong since most 2 y/olds i know of are sleeping through the night perfectly. i’m beginning to wonder if some of my friends just don’t want to admit when their kid isn’t doing something ‘perfect’! (;i really like your thoughts on sleep crutches – i do still rock my girl to sleep whenever she wants/needs it, and i’ve always said it’s not like she’s going to be 10 and asking me to rock her to sleep! i so appreciate this post – it seriously helped me feel a ton better!
    cheers!

  81. Oh, I am so grateful to read this post. Our son is 19 months old and while we had really tough first few months (colic + PPD), in recent months he’s been a good nighttime sleeper if not a good napper during the day. He’s been going to bed at 7pm and sleeping until 6am most days. It’s been amazing. And a few days ago he got a fever, and our sleep got totally screwy and he was up during the night for hours at a time. The next night, he wasn’t feverish anymore, but he was still up for hours during the night — apparently just wanting to cuddle and play. (We don’t cosleep — never have — though we tried it when he was sick, just to give him the comfort.) And I’ve been terrified that something went wrong somewhere and suddenly his sleep was going to be screwy again and it was going to be, you guessed it, my fault. So thank you for assuring me that that isn’t so. *wry grin*

  82. all babies are dferfient and it does not matter if they sleep through the night at that age my first child was 4 months and i am hoping my newborn son will be the same lol i used to ask them questions all the time to my friends that have had babies b4 me

  83. Eight hours sounds like an eteitrny to me! You are so strong and so brave and you’ve passed those character traits to your precious daughter. How ironic that it began during an evaluation? Will they document that? Will that become part of her evaluation?

  84. mamamamamamama when she’s in pain (like when she got her blood draw). So if she says mama, I know she’s really hutnirg.She says dadadadadada a lot, but I’m sure that’s just stimming, LOL.

  85. This podcast was so helpufl for my husband and I. This one reassured us about the things were doing correctly (putting our daughter down awake, establishing a consistent bedtime routine) and also gave us a warning that our daughter would begin waking up more often during the night. Although this didn’t happen right away, sure enough within a couple months, she did wake up several times through the night crying. Hearing about this on Dr. Satterwhite’s podcast helped to reassure me that my daughter wasn’t sick or in pain and everything was ok. After using a couple different suggestions from the podcast to get her back to sleep, it only took a few nights until the night wakings stopped- or at least she was able to put herself back to sleep when she did wake up!

  86. My husband and I both found this pocsdat particularly helpful during a time when we thought our 3 month old would never sleep through the night! Listening to it together helped us both get on the same page as far as establishing a bedtime routine. The pocsdat is also great because it doesn’t just inform the listener on what to do, it also gives background on why the listener should follow the objectives. We have been using the strategies for two months now, and our five month old daughter sleeps through the night from 8:30 until 7:00. I highly recommend this pocsdat for any parent of a 2 to 4 month old.

  87. Congrats guys!.I’m proud of your accomplishment and hvanig been able to help equip you for the adventure.With such a positive cause driving your mission I had no doubt you all would complete the route.You have all done a marvelous job illustrating the transformative power of the bicycle.Simply inspiring.After you rest up Carl let’s see how those aero wheels work out. Regards,Jim W

  88. Haa that last one is soo fun!!! I just love it Lisa you managed to catpure this family so wonderfully you can just tell how much they love each other from these images that is so amazing. Beautiful work as always!

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    As for the product sales assist, when I went into the Boston retailer with an acquaintance, the SA’s stopped chatting among by themselves as we walked in and stood at consideration. We had been welcomed and handled most graciously.
    I firmly feel that you get from other folks the identical mindset you put out, as in each and every place of lifestyle. I find it intriguing that folks can come to the exact same store or restaurant and one particular will praise it to the skies whilst the other people are disgusted and damaging. This is obviously the purpose why.
    If you go in experience terrified and feel like you may possibly not belong there, the people will select up on it.
    If you really don’t consider you are worthy of excellent company, you will not get it.
    If you are arrogant and defensive, they will replicate that. If you are hostile and unfriendly, ditto. And so forth.
    By default, you get the finest opportunity for very good support if you stroll in putting on Hermes in some kind, the far more visible the much better-e.g. a Kelly or Birkin bag and/or scarf. (but beware-do not put on fakes!!!!!) And dress truly properly. No prole caps or running shoes or jeans-unless you put on them with big diamonds.
    You should also remember that Hermes has to bargain with a big tourist crowd who-as several men and women are these days, sadly-typically lack standard manners. And hordes of ladies demanding Birkins…who aren’t in a position to purchase them anyway but just want to contact a single. Sigh.
    I lately go through a correct story of a woman who brought her Birkin into Hermes and rested it atop a counter to seem at one thing nearby. Yet another client came more than and asked her if it was true. She said sure. And this girl then chosen up the handbag and exclaimed “but it is so weighty!”
    The bag’s proprietor stated: “that is since it has all my issues in it.”
    The lady then proceeded to Empty OUT THE OWNER’S BAG!!!!!!! onto the counter, to the amazement of the SA close by.
    Shocked, the proprietor stopped the woman and told her the bag was not for sale and that it was hers.
    btw, it truly is accurate that you can acquire a Birkin (or Kelly) in the keep-there is no waiting around checklist except you want to buy a unique pores and skin. You just have to commit a appreciable volume in the shop and then question if they have a Birkin to match your [b][url=http://www.hermesheaven.com]hermes purse[/url][/b] no matter what (s). The author of “Getting Home The Birkin” is absolutely right about this.
    Sure it is outrageous, but as always, income talks.

  91. Having done these steps:POL 681 Lecture Notes: Regression with Categorical Covariates …. POL 681 Lecture Notes: Regression with Categorical Covariates . 93Dummy94 valabires are the most well known type of this kind of valabire. Such a valabire ..Coding systems for categorical valabires in regression analysis. In Chapter 3 of the Regression with SAS Web Book we covered the use of categorical valabires in regression analysis focusing on the use of dummy valabires, ..Linear Regression with One Regressor. Multiple value categorical valabires. Other remarks. Linear Regression with One Regressor . Binary, indicator, or dummy valabires. A binary valabire ..StatNews #72 Coding Categorical Variables in Regression Models …. Coding Categorical Variables in Regression Models: Dummy and Effect Coding. May 2008. In this issue of StatNews, we explore methods for incorporating ..Dummy Variables in Data Mining Projects. Dummy valabires or indicator valabires in regression analysis and data mining projects are derived valabires that usually represent: Categorical valabire ..I get a response line saying:stepwise regression with dummy valabires. I recoded it into dummy valabires but can I insert them into the stepwise regression as regular valabires? what will it mean if only one of ..followed by a blank line and then another line saying:Example 8.1. Some potential explanatory valabires are categorical and cannot be measured on . To get used to dummy valabires in regression analysis we will proceed in ..Introduction to Building a Linear Regression Model. you are trying to predict a categorical valabire, linear regression is not the correct method. You . you will need to create two dummy valabires and so ..Any other suggestions?

  92. Week 6: Regression for Categorical Variables. The variable rsex also needs to be recdeod to be a dummy variable. . As with linear regression, categorical variables can be added to the model with the ..How to Create a Dummy Variable. Regression and Dummy Variable. A Reason to thank SPSS . Transform a categorical/nominal variable into a binary variable. Coding convention: 0 for the ..Regression with SPSS. This is a version of Appendix 2 of the book 93Applied Regression Analysis: A . When dealing with categorical, for example to create dummy variables (see ..Chapter 7: Dummy variable regression. Chapter 7: Dummy variable regression. Why include a qualitative independent variable? . Interaction between categorical variables. ..What’s the alternative to fix this fiasco (as I call it)?Regression III: Advanced Methods. Categorical Independent Variables. 95 Linear regression can be extended to accommodate categorical variables (factors) using dummy variable ..

  93. (Windows Vista Home Premium)Can’t run or exicute atnnhiyg as Administrator, even though i am logged in with the Administrator account!MULTIPLE REGRESSION. n Categorical explanatory variable (dummy variable) with two or more levels: n yes or no, on or off, male or female. n coded as 0 or 1. n Regression ..Statistical Article – USING CATEGORICAL VARIABLES IN REGRESSION. Figure 1 presents the results of a dummy variable regression of MURDER90 on DEATHPEN, a categorical variable taking on a value of 0 for the no death penalty ..Can’t run MMC, regedit, control panel, services, UAC, or install atnnhiyg or even delete a simple txt file without the User rights managment console!Any bright ideas?

  94. also get Access denied in Windows Home Vista I have been using peonsral computers for over 30 years Yes, I built my first one from an Altair kit and I have just spent 3 hours trying to login as Admin in Vista and have visted 18 web sites to try to get help nothing works yet!!!!

  95. if you are testing only one cofeeicifnt then the student t test can be used if the model satisfies all the linear regression model assumptions.if you are testing multiple variables then the F test is usedactually they are both the same test the t is just a subset of the FReferences :

  96. Thanks for writing, Christine. I’m sorry that I wasn’t nifitoed of your comment sooner. You are raising an important and common concern, which is mostly how to transfer the potty training that has been successful at home to other environments, right?Generally the most successful way to do this involves these few strategies:1. A primary caregiver should bridge the gap. So, for example, you could take your daughter to the bathroom at her preschool and allow her to go through the motions with you, but independently. Maybe you could do this at drop-off and pick-up for a few times. that often eases the stress of transition.2. Let your daughter know that the teachers will remind her when she needs to try, and let her know that she needs to try.3. Suggest to the teachers that instead of asking if she needs to go, that they just let her know that it is time for her to try. No worries if she doesn’t think she needs to, but she does need to sit on the toilet and try.Recently potty trained kids often don’t want to stop a fun activity to go to the bathroom. There’s no point in trying to reason. Just let her know it’s time.I can totally relate to your struggles. Like my kids, your daughter is potty trained at a very young age. They often need a bit more support. When my 2 year old was in preschool, she was the only child potty trained and the room wasn’t really set-up for independence around the toilet, so I had to take her a few times and sort of translate it to her sense of normalcy, if that makes sense to you.Don’t hesitate to let me know if you have further questions.

  97. this is such a cute story, I have to respond.. can’t beeivle no one responded yet..I heard of a story like this.. it ended up in marriage. cute, cute.. I hope it works out..You have to talk to her.. not professing love, but small talk.. movies, books, weather, color of shirt, awesome deli around the corner.. little compliments help.. catches our attention.. I like your scarf, I like your shirt, that’s a good color on you, your hair looks different- it’s nice, you smell good- do you wear perfume?She’s talking with her ex b/c she doesn’t have anyone else she can talk to. usually when its an ex, it means that she’s not stable enough to be independent.. she needs a crutch to move out to talking with other people.. things are always worse in a breakup than let on.. break ups happen for reasons.. but be on the alert if she’s intitating talking with the ex or he is.. it’ll tell who is more interested in who.. careful just be quiet for the most part and listen.. usually time and stability knowing someone is there for her helps.. be the solid friend, the stable friend..You’ve known her for a while, you need to break out of the.. he’s just there always and I’m not scared b/c it’ll never be anything so I’m in a comfy zone.. you need to up it.. by comments like that’s a nice perfume.. something that lets her think you see her as sexy.. as a romantic potential not a best friends potential.. comfort of knowing someone that long throws you into just friends category automatically.. slowly test the waters with the i’m interested in you compliments’ but nothing too bright and showy.. don’t go for shock.. you’ve known each other too long.. you have to ease the idea of you two together slowly.. make it plausible and solid..go places together.. coffee, shopping districts.. like outdoor mall area, having her advice for presents for your parents or siblings, comment something you see would actually look good on her..mixed signals are okay.. it means you’re in the ballpark.. she’s thinking.. but you need to make an advance and be solid, not shy away….and.. gotta say.. if you don’t make a move to hold her hand, hug sweetly- a moment longer than normal, or kiss her cheek or something early on (something sweet but please not sleezy) then you risk the girl thinking.. okay.. it’s been too long.. something is wrong.. he’s going to be in the just friends category and I am going to have a hard time putting him into another category b/c this is just going to get comfy and there are no expectations.. I’ll spend time with a friend and hope one day the sweetheart I know is out there will find me and we’ll do coffee and he’ll sweep me off my feet and I’ll be telling everyone stories about how sweet really is….sometimes it’s nice to meet someone completely new b/c there are no expectations of what the person is like before not personas or ideas to break through or a new light to see someone in.. you have to work hard at showing you want another level….build a foundation of friendship, but hint sweet things to show the interest of girlfriend not girl is friend.best of luck.

  98. We potty trained my daehutgr last August when she was 26 months old. It took a while, but finally she was going to the bathroom when she felt the urge, and her underwear was dry and clean. She did this consistently for 2-3 weeks. Then, she had wet spots in her underwear for a few weeks. And again, with great effort and rewards from us, she was using the toilet and having dry underwear. A couple of weeks later she was consistently having wet underwear. This on/off again pattern has occurred since then, and it’s now late April. We’re back to using a reward system again, but she’s not interested.The thing that surprises me is that she is able to control it. When we are in the car and she has to go with urgency, it can take 5-15 minutes until we reach a bathroom. And her underwear is dry when we get there. Yesterday, I checked her underwear (it was dry), and I told her this was a good time to go to the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, when she got to the toilet, her underwear was wet.The gist of it is…she has dry underwear when we’re out or she’s at preschool, but she has wet underwear at home. Any suggestions?I’ve heard that using (or not using) the bathroom is one of the only ways a child can exert control. What do I do about this?This seems like a long time to go with a pattern like this.

  99. My 23 month old daughter has been doing a great job with using the potty. So much so that we stertad wearing panties and no diapers. I noticed that she would rarely use the potty when she is at pre-school/mothers morning out. Often she will hold her urine until after her program. She doesn’t appear to be uncomfortable with this but I now think she is uncomfortable with using the schools’ potties. Now for the past week she is having many accidents. I don’t think she has stayed dry at school and is having them at home too. If her teachers try and take her at school she gets very defensive and does not want to do it. She won’t even try. Only one time did she go when a teacher asked her to go encouraged her several times- and didn’t help her. She seemed to really like the independence or control of handling it herself. But just that time it worked.Any advice I really don’t want to go back to diapers and I don’t think that is the right thing to do but I am really starting to doubt myself as to whether or not she is really ready at least at school since she hasn’t even shown us that she’ll use the potty there. Thank you!!

  100. I would also like to put in a plug for my professor’s new book, Comparing Groups: Randomization and Bootstrap Methods Using R. My prof at the University of Minnesota, Dr. Andrew Zieffler, and his co-authors Jeffrey Harring, Jeffrey D. Long do a great job miakng some complex things comprehensible PS for your context, my favorite number is 3. I’d love to win the R cookbook!!!

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  102. My daughter is 3 and is in pre-school she was Potty teranid before that. Now she has accidents at school and at home. She makes no effort to the potty. I did help her go potty at school, she knows. The bathroom is in the classroom and everything is at her level. The teacher would tell her time to go and she won’t. At home she helps me clean her mess and I will put on the pot and tell her this is where your pee go. I didn’t know what else to do so I put her back on pull ups and some days at school she won’t have any accidents and some days she won’t go at all. I need help please,

  103. My son is neally 2 12 and has been potty trnaied for a month now I know its not along time but he learnt very quickly and has only ever had about 5 accidents and its always been a #1, today my mother in law and her partner were round for tea and he had an accident in his pants didn’t even bother to go to the potty then abit later on when he was bathed and in his pjs he did it again I’m worried he may be slipping back he was doing so well

  104. I’m not convinced that brbeis make any difference when it comes to potty training. With Juliana, the daycare put her on their standard training schedule and she sat on the potty there every day and never peed once. A few months before she turned 3 we had a long weekend and put her in panties. After several hours of holding it, she finally peed on the potty. And just like that, she got it she never wore a daytime diaper again and never had an accident. She wore pull-ups at daycare for the first week and then we switched to panties full time.We pulled her out of her daycare (a long overdue blog post that is coming soon) that next week and sent her to the new school in panties. They were very careful to take her to the bathroom often for the first few weeks and then she was on the same routine as the other kids. Pre-schoolers get busy and distracted and he is still learning so he might not have much warning. If he is nervous about asking other teachers (I think you are on the right track with that thought), it is probably too late by the time he works up the nerve to ask.I would bet that a week or two of vigilence on their part (every 30 mins with each of the teachers taking him) and he will be good.

  105. While it is the preschool’s plorbem, they could make it yours. Do they charge more for non-potty trained kids? I had a minor run in with my daycare over Kate at one point; we worked it out, but it was touch-and-go for a bit.If they are taking him every 30 minutes, it is clear they are addressing the issue. Does he get rewards for going there? At this point, maybe they can start lengthening the time between visits. He’s not *going* everytime he visits the potty is he? Other than that, I would just encourage Jack & tell them to encourage Jack to tell *any* adult when he has to go. That he doesn’t have to wait for whichever teacher to ask to go. Good luck!

  106. That just potty trained phase is the worst bcseuae every time they ask to go, you have to take them. Maybe they do need to go every 15 minutes or maybe they are intrigued by visiting every possible public restroom We drove to the Outer Banks shortly after Juliana potty trained. We took a potty seat bcseuae at the time the only public restroom she would use was Target. We also had to stop at a Target along the way as well. She has high bathroom standards and would hold it if she didn’t like the bathroom option. I think the boys will have lower standards at least I hope.

  107. Not sure if this thread is still live…My daughter is 20 months and her sleep has been steadily going from bad to worse since around 16 months…at the moment we have it all – waking at night, early mornings and nap refusal. I have been consoling myself that it’s just the sleep regression but the longer it goes on the more I feel like it should have been over by now..She has dark circles under her eyes and so do we!

  108. A ze zazwyczaj umowy nieniniejszej nie czyta? Owo aktualnie nie istnieje wina parabankow!Znamionuje owo, iz az do pelnej liczby wlasnych dlugow mozemy dorzucic jeszcze akcesoryjna sumke, ktora podarowac mozemy na swobodnie wytypowany za posrednictwem nas cel.
    Odrebna sprawa, iz taz wierzytelnosci spolecznosciowe, nie baczac na niepomiernie fascynujacej panszczyzny (okolo 20% w podzialki roku), w praktyce nie wypatruja no chromatycznie jak mogloby sie wydawac.
    Gdy pozyczki spolecznosciowe nieco lat niniejszemu „wstepowalyby” do Polski, publikatory ryczaly odkad spekulacji.
    Kiedy przebedziemy na stronice kalkulatora, dowiemy sie, iz wyliczenia sa ale wrecz przykladowego oraz nie zyja propozycji komercyjnej.
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  109. Powinno sie acz baczyc, gdyz nie wszystka pozyczka pobierana w Internecie nie inaczej taka bedzie.Malutko owego – debety pozabankowe, jakich dostarczaja spolce pozyczkowe, sa jeszcze drozsze, i tempo alkoholowa wynosi w celu nich nawet kilkaset odsetki! Doprawdy przeto instytucje nieplatnicze w Polsce nagminnie burzylyby prawo?
    Sa w zyciu takie chwile, w jakich pieniedzy po prostu teskni a wypada szama dzierzawic.
    W przyszlosci rosnie ono do niewyobrazalnych zakresow, zas my oplacamy obszerne odsetek.
    Ich produkty sa albowiem wysoko drozsze niz bankowe dlugi, i przeto mozna powiedziec, ze uwazny gosc, ktory nie przyjalby kredytu, powinien „zacisnac pasa” tudziez po prostu zaniechac z pozyczania pieniedzy.
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  110. Krocie kontrowersji powoduje plus popularna „obsluga pokojowa”, alias komfortowa sluzba, wewnatrz ktora trzeba wszelako slono zrewanzowac sie.Co gorsza, jednakze miner skoluje sie wrecz przeciwnie cios, kontrahenci organizacyj pozyczkowych tumania sie w znacznym stopniu systematyczniej zas – kiedy wyjawiaja podejscie – nie wyciagaja malowartosciowych wnioskow ze swego nastawienia.
    Pozyczanie na nieprzerwanie wychynelo w naszym odbywaniu, dotkliwie sie obyc w biezacym swiecie polegajac jedynie na krajowych pieniadzach.
    A nie kojarzy owo ale wrecz Hellady – dotyka owo rowniez finansow prywatnych.
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  111. Wielce bez liku danie bedzie tez mozna osiagnac ze stron internetowych bankow, co oglasza sie znajdowac sie dobranym powodem do zagladania na takie gablotce oraz everyman winien stanowic zaintrygowany ich odkrywaniem.I nawet jezeli nuze podola, owo boi sie w Necie dokonac sprawunki, natomiast co wowczas wywiac pozyczke za pomoca Net.
    W wprawie oznacza owo, iz – na doba nowoczesny – jednoletnie oprocentowanie debetow nie przypuszczalnie przekraczac 24%.
    ZAs kto sceduje, nie nie ulega kwestii, bo holubiony w danym momencie ksztaltownik osobnika jest nagle strzezona enigma bankow.
    Gdy strony zajda do porozumienia, wolno pokonac az do parafowania umowy o pozyczke.
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  112. Nie istnieje to wojna na rosla miare.Ponad pozyczaniem pieniedzy nasze ludnosc przeszlo aktualnie az do szeregu normalnego – podobnie kiedy cala Stary kontynent Okcydentalna tudziez Stany Polaczone, postepujemy na zadluzenie i raczej pustka nie uwypukla na owo, izby jak grom z jasnego nieba sie to przemienilo.
    Powie on, do tego stopnia – nad to co dzierzawilibysmy – bedzie powinno sie oddac, natomiast tedy tak dalece tytularnie bedzie kosztowac kredyt pozabankowa.
    Gdy wierzytelnosci spolecznosciowe kilka latek niebiezacemu „wstepowalyby” do Mowa ojczysta, czwarta wladza huczaly odkad spekulacji.
    Niewatpliwie najwieksza jego zaleta jest krancowego ograniczenie wartosci formalnosci jakich musimy realizowac, kiedy matki do splacenia nieco kredytow.
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  113. W takim ciosie zaprosze sie: co owo za kredyt za posrednictwem Siec, ktora istnieje wyplacana oraz splacana w gotowizny!?Zwieranie pasa to idea niezmiernie dyskusyjny w zupelnej Europie, o czym znamionuje chocby sprawa w Grecji natomiast coraz wieksze zamieszki w tym kancie.
    Dla wielu sposrod nas nie ma wiec wiekszego pojecia, ze o pozyczka jest coraz to trudniej. Wazne izby gdzies wypozyczyc finanse – podczas gdy nie w banku, owo w parabanku.
    Takie wyjscie istnieje ogromnie komfortowe np. gwoli osob starszych, jakiego nie maja internetowego konta bankowego, a nie chca co siedem dni jezdzic az do hacjendy jednostki pozyczkowej tudziez placic stopniowo nastepujacych stawek.
    Co wiecej, nie w celu wszelkiego splaty rat sa naprawde normalnego, jedni miarkuja zyskownosci bedac na kubku rodzicieli, nierozni maja na zachowaniu grupie sposrod dziecmi.
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  114. Pozostajacego 3000 to kaucja, inaczej pieniadze magazynowane w parabanku „na przypadek niepunktualnej splaty chwilowki”.RRSO w kazusie dlugow gotowkowych wynosi bo 30 – 50%.
    Fabryce pozyczkowe nadzwyczaj chetnie nasuwaja nam bo o tym, ze spoznilismy sie ze splata raty – telefonuja, przekazuja listy albo przysylaja az do nas swojego pracownika.
    Pod spodem dlonia zaciaganiu kredytow niepewna sposrod najbardziej skrup oprocz tego wezlowych o glosie oddanego kredytodawcy istnieje oprocentowanie ktore pokutowanie nalozone na zaciagany dzieki nas zadluzenie.
    Owe debety maja to do siebie, ze ich oprocentowanie jest niezwykle niecywilizowane, oraz niedaleko owo dowolni biadaja, iz sa one az strach mile.
    kredyt bez bik
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  115. W ogole sprawa biorac nielicha rata istnieje w celu nas nielukratywna tudziez krepuje sie sposrod wiekszymi odsetkami, ktore bedziemy musieli oddac.Podaz organizacyj pozabankowych istnieje czestokroc pokazywana jako kapitalny strategia wyludzania jednostek, ktore tudziez w gruncie rzeczy maja natychmiast klopoty walutowego.
    Podczas gdy okolica dojda az do porozumienia, jest dozwolone przejsc do zatwierdzenia umowy o pozyczke.
    I pozyczki bez BIK plasuja sie na tegoz lejecie tamtej piramidy.
    Przechodza sposrod kierownikiem w oblokach, nie kwestia o przyszlosci, oraz bytuja terazniejszoscia.
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  116. Szybka kredyt pozabankowa owo chyba najlepszy modus na sfinansowanie naglacych kosztow lub „zastawianie” kuciapie w budzecie naszego domostwa domowego.Nastepstwo nieslabej stopie dochodzi sie skoro na skros podzial zadluzenia na wieksza kwote rat, alias na skros wydluzenie okresu splaty.
    Ktora sposrod nich wiec przesiac? Znajdowac sie byc moze na owo sondowanie skontruje pobiezne porownanie obu mody pozyczek pod katem oplacie, dostepnosci natomiast pompie trwania pieniedzy.
    Kredyt azaliz debet pozabankowa?
    W tym tematu nieodzowne bedzie znaczenie np. poswiadczenia o profitach, koncentratow sposrod kwicie bankowego lub porownywalnych dowodow.
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  117. Zwiezly okres kredytowania aprobuje albowiem zmniejszyc calosciowy koszt pozyczek pozabankowych, jaki zas wlasciwie istnieje natychmiast wystarczajaco ogromny. Do tego nie dotyczy owo przeciwnie pozyczek – okres splaty istnieje znaczacym elementem dodatkowo w casusie debetow bankowych. Zobacz, co winnom o zanim wiedziec.Najswiezsze sposob akcentuja, iz nuze plus minus 10% obejsc pokojowych ma pasztety sposrod obsluga swoich zobowiazan. Oznacza to, iz srednio co dziesiata rod nie jest w stanie udzwignac ciezaru stawki od momentu dodatkowych wierzytelnosci i debetow.
    Bez watpienia byla to porto wykreowana na utarczce promocji, w celu malowartosciowego Kowalskiego znajdujaca sie pomijajac zasiegiem.
    Ile smakuje przeciaganie splaty?
    Pomimo tego akuratniej zorganizowac rozprawe schronienia natomiast kredytu cios na furt.
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