Ouch

Remember back when you thought the phrase "seeing stars" was figurative? It isn't.

I just can't finish and post the post I was working on last night, because this morning T was jumping in excitement and clocked me with the top of his hard little head in my nose so hard I saw stars (really) and almost threw up. So I've been trying to sleep it off all day, but all the bones in my face are aching. I don't think anything's broken, although how would I know? My actual nose feels fine, but my cheekbones back to my ears and forehead are throbbing and tender.

But enough about my problems. Today's question, since I can't muster anything better, is: What is the most painful experience you've had with your child? (And let's say birth doesn't count, or else it could turn into misery poker.)

I'm going to pop some more ibuprofen and see if slouching upright on the couch does more for me than lying down did.

72 thoughts on “Ouch”

  1. I had a similar experience – 2-plus-year-old jumped his head into my nose. Ouch! I screamed and burst into tears, scaring him no end. Then I noticed in the mirror that night that my nose was suddenly much more… flexible than it had been! I went to the doctor, who said no break but probably the cartilage was separated. I try to keep my nose away from his head now.I would recommend having it checked out if it still hurts in a couple of days… I have no idea how to tell if a bone in your face is broken!
    Also I’ll speak for my husband and say that the repeated (accidental) kicks and punches and jumps on the groin have taken a toll.

  2. poked in the eye with those razor-sharp baby fingernails.stepping on duplo blocks in bare feet (it’s the number of times more than the pain of the individual occurrence).
    pinkie finger jammed into a toy truck made of steel.
    one nursing session 3.5 years ago that i needed narcotics to survive.

  3. Poor you Moxie! Get an xray. I had the same type of injury from a horse and ended up having a small fracture in my nose that healed funny and left me with a slightly crooked nose.Most painful experience with my son?
    Physically – an uber-head-bonk resulting in a split lip that bled and bled and bled then swelled and swelled and swelled. looked like I had been in a fight.
    Emotionally – staying at work yesterday working on a grant proposal while a sitter took care of my clingy and barfing child. Yeah, might sound like I got off easy but it was hell. Felt like someone ripped out my heart and shoved it down my throat.
    Slouch away! I hope you feel better soon.

  4. Yikes, Moxie! I learned this when DS fell and hurt his nose – if your nose bled a lot, and you start to see bruising in the corners of your eyes, it can be a sign that it’s broken. Fingers crossed that it’s not!Biggest mama pain ever? It was the heartbreak I felt when DS hurt his nose – I have never wanted to trade places with another person so badly so that he didn’t have to feel the pain.
    Biggest minor mama pain gripe? Anytime DS puts his fingers into our mouths, DH and I get these canker-type sores the next day that hurt like the dickens! DH thinks it’s some normal virus that kids pick up & have on their hands. As long as we are vigilant about no baby fingers in our mouths, we don’t seem to have a problem.

  5. Your nose could be broken. Each of the few bones I have broken caused me to vomit. In me that is a sure sign.My boy (16 mos) once grabbed the door of an open oven (I was not in the room) and got a quarter size burn on the inside of his wrist. It was bad, it oozed for a few weeks and now, 4 months later it is a large scar. He still pulls up his sleeve to point at it daily. I could have punched my GF in the face for walking away from that oven- she is coming to visit next weekend and I hope he wont show her the scar.

  6. Most painful things that they’ve each done to me? My now 3-year-old dropped a huge jar of applesauce on my foot and broke one of my toes when he was 2 1/2. He was trying to help, but ouch!And my 18-month old constantly bites me. He hugs me really gently and just when I find myself thinking, “how nice!” he bites hard- my neck, shoulder and arm have a nice assortment of teeth marks on any given day. We’re working on it, but it can’t be over with soon enough!

  7. Two nights ago my eight year old squashed my finger against the edge of a chair. Hurt like the dickens. I was trying to get her into my lap to work through some homework angst so I had to stop wailing pretty quick to keep from making her feel worse.There have been assorted head bangs over the years that I’ve mostly forgotten. Oh, and the fingernails in my mouth while she was breastfeeding.
    Moxie, please go get your face checked. I’m worrying about you. Plus I read this sci-fi book recently where a guy got clocked on the nose and seemed ok but became unable to make decisions. Supposedly he banged a piece of bone into his brain, right in the “decider” spot.

  8. Ouch! I hope the stars fade soon. Kid heads are harder than titanium. My son’s head is huge, and I seem to get nailed by it at least 3 times a week. But the most painful thing had to have been thrush. I was trying to do the right thing, breastfeed my child and give him all the good stuff, and I was literally crying in pain every time he latched on. After 3 weeks of trying to get rid of the thrush on both our parts, I finally had to abandon breastfeeding altogether. He’s four now and seems to me bright eyed and bushy tailed, despite being a formula kid!

  9. My son threw his head back in a tantrum and popped me good in the face. I went to work the next morning with the biggest shiner ever seen by mortal man, and NOT ONE person asked me how it happened. I guess they thought my husband did it. I finally had to say, “You can ask! It was my kid!” One of the doctors I worked for said I needed to get it x-ray, and turns out he fractured my orbit (??) bone, the bone this juuust under your eyeball.Not cool.

  10. Seconding that you should watch for concussion – maybe go in just in case, since you don’t have someone to wake you up at night (can you believe I just said that to a mom of two???)My garage door has those joints in it that close up as it comes down. I had my hand on one of the slat parts when my son gave it a yank down and it closed on my fingers. OW.

  11. Tied for me. Both were recent (he’s only two so he’s a lot more capable of pain induction now) and both were not intentional in any way. 1. I got an excited back of the head to my larynx. There was a moment when I was unsure if I would continue breathing. GUARD your larynges, parents! 2. I had broken my toe the night before, and the toddler ground his little foot down on my poor baby toe before I could stop him, then I couldn’t remove my foot because that would cause pain, and I couldn’t move because I was in pain! It was a lose, lose, lose.

  12. Well, my 17month old had her first PROPER toddler tantrum today. The back arching and head banging kind. My wrist and hand hurt from trying to keep her off the ground as she writhed in my arms.I’m going to take this opportunity to tell you what happened next…sorry for the hijack, just REALLY need to get this off my chest as I am REELING. The tantrum took place whilst I was in a shop. Since nothing was calming her and she was SCREAMING, I took her out of the shop, sat on a bench and held her as she screamed and flailed.
    EVENTUALLY, she calmed down, gave me a loooonnngg hug, drank some water and was tucking into some snacks when a police officer turned up!
    It turned out that someone had called the police and told them that a mother was dangling her baby by its ankles and the baby was distraught!! The police officer was lovely, luckily, told me he was a father himself and that the person who had made the phone call was clearly over zealous.
    I’m gob smacked. I feel dreadful. I was so proud of how calm I had been holding her and hopefully helping her out of the tantrum. I couldn’t leave her on the floor in the middle of the mall. I suppose its good that people are on the look out for the welfare of kids, but that person lied – he said I was holding her by her ankles. I was holding her in my arms (as best I could considering her temper tantrum).
    Anyway. Thanks for listening.

  13. I’m a former preschool teacher, and I had a kid stand up really quickly once while I was trying to tie his shoe – his head hit the bottom of my jaw and I bit the tip of my tongue so hard it bled. I saw stars, oh yes.

  14. I’d have to go with the gall bladder attack I had right after #2 was born (and was likely triggered by the post-partun hormones and weight loss).For the record, the day after Thanksgiving is a terrible day to need to go to the ER.

  15. Please go see a doctor. It sounds like you might have a concussion.AS far as pain resulting from my child, that would be when – for reasons unknown to me – My Pump In Style turned into the Suctionator when my son hit 10 months. I swear that thing tried to suck my left nipple right off. Every Day, until 11.5 months when I decided that was enough. I nursed for 6 more months and never had the problem that I had with that cursed machine.

  16. Oh, Moxie! That sucks! I hope you feel better soon and that it’s nothing serious!@anon – My guess is the person who called doesn’t have kids. Hopefully you can let it roll off your back, because you know you did a great job. You did exactly what your child needed, and that caller had no clue.
    My biggest pain was definitely dealing with thrush while breastfeeding. Until I got on the Diflucan to really clear it up, there were weeks of stabbing pains every time she latched and nursed. Both sides. It was horrendous.
    BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: We just found out that the baby is a boy! We are very excited, and would have been happy either way. It will be neat to experience having a baby boy, although I’m nervous about getting sprayed with pee…

  17. @Anonat least there are people out there who care about what adults do to children. How many times have we seen something similar Igoing on and assumming it’s the kid throwing a tantrum when it could easily be the adult abusing a child.
    Ouch Moxie!! That must have been mind-bogglingly painful.
    My 2 year old ( another one. What is it with 2 year olds?) head butted me in the front teeth recently when threwing her head back trying to avoid dh’s tickles. I had just had a root canal done on the next tooth across and I thought I was goign to lose it ( the tooth, I mean). The pain was excruciating.

  18. @anon- this is going to be a funny story you tell in the future. Don’t waste another minute thinking about the person who called. They clearly had no idea what a tantruming toddler looks like. I regularly walk out of day care with a screaming, kicking toddler essential tucked under my arm. (She wants to play on the big kids’ playground- but she is too little. I have yet to find a reliable distraction.) Probably the only reason no one has called me in is that they are all parents, too.@caramama- how exciting!
    I can’t really think of the biggest Pumpkin-inflicted pain right now. Maybe dragging my sorry, flu-stricken self out of bed 2x a night to breastfeed when she was little? She gave me the flu, too.

  19. @anon – I’m sorry that caller lied. FWIW, in most US states, they could be charged with making a false police report.It sounds like you handled yourself admirably! In a weird way, the caller might have phoned for help because they themselves are actually in need of some help, and they psychologically projected that need on to your child, and identified you, a total stranger with the unresolved pain they may have from childhood when no one came to help them. Seriously, pretty much everyone needs therapy – it’s a wonderful thing and prevents us from making phony phone calls, too! 😉

  20. one night in babyhood i leaned over my kid as he flailed mightily and his wee little finger went STRAIGHT IN MY EYEBALL.I had blurred vision all the next day! but did not go blind.

  21. My husband can attest to a number of groin related jumping accidents! I’ve suffered, thankfully, only some minor head and nose bonks.The 2.5 year old across the street from us recently took a big chunk out of her mom’s retina with her fingernail. She was changing into her pajamas and just happened to brush her hand too close to her mom’s face at the right angle – and blammo. A trip to the ER, medication for the pain and several days of blurred vision for her mom were the not-so-happy results. I had the pleasure of taking care of their two kids while they rushed to the ER at bedtime – the toddler crying non-stop for mommy. Fun stuff 🙂

  22. Most physical pain: when my daughter recently kicked me in the mouth so hard during a diaper change that a crown fell out of my mouth.Most emotional pain (I don’t consider this her fault, by the way): the first night home from the hospital with her and she was “cluster nursing” every 10-15 minutes, and SCREAMING 5 minutes after I stopped nursing her. I broke down into a sobbing mess, handed her to my husband and said, “She doesn’t love me. I can’t give her what she needs. I’m not going to be a good mom, I can’t make her stop crying!” Then crying even harder when my husband instantly soothed her and saying, “SEE!!! She doesn’t love me, she only loves you!” My poor husband deserves a medal for managing to calm both of us down at the same time.
    A week and a half later I started meds for PPD and anxiety.

  23. @anon, something similar happened to me, too, and made me want to yell,”I AM DOING AN OK JOB MOST OF THE TIME HERE! GO HARASS THE REAL ABUSERS AND LEAVE US ALONE!!!” I agree with hush that the person who called had something else going on that had nothing to do with you & your child. Take heart and try not to let it rattle you.@shirky, I am glad you are not blind.

  24. Well, my daughter is only 16 months, so I’m sure there’s more pain to come BUT she went through a phase where she was fascinated with head butting a few months ago and hit my head at just the right angle. I also saw stars, for real, and had a two-day headache because of it. It did remind me of how amazing our bodies are that we can recover from something like that with no long term damage.

  25. My sister broke a babysitter’s nose when she was two, just playing/horsing around, and my brother was playing with a (teenage male) babysitter in the snow and broke off one of his front teeth.I can’t think of any real doozies I’ve suffered myself, though sharp fingernails WAY up the nose wasn’t great. I have closed a car door on my son’s finger, and pinched my daughter’s lip in the car seat buckle, so I think we are running even. It’s a household full of clumsy people around here.

  26. Anon– You did a great job and did just the right thing.Giving the caller the benefit of the doubt, assuming he DID think he saw you dangling your child by the ankles, he did the right thing too. Perhaps he just needs a vision check.
    Sounds like the police did the right thing as well. Glad it all turned out OK.

  27. Thank you so much for your responses – they are helping to put things into perspective.Mastitis – I forgot about that. 4 times I’ve had it.

  28. Not me, but I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and her sister-in-law had to get 6 stitches on her nipple after her kid bit her while feeding.

  29. Okay, technically it was the stroller, not the kid.Turning to put the stroller into the car after a birthday outing at the zoo, caught my foot on a cobblestone and started to fall sideways (parking lot was cobbled), lifted my foot up and put it down to the side and caught my full weight on it – only, whoops, my foot didn’t actually move my foot, it was still where it was, but I put my full weight down on the angle my foot was SUPPOSED to be, and heard a rather loud POP sound. For a moment, nothing other than the thought ‘I hope that’s broken because if it is sprain it is going to take FOREVER to heal’… then the pain hit.
    Swore a lot. One-footed the stroller into the car. Swore some more. Thanked heaven that I already buckled the kid (Mr G) in the back. Hobbled into the car (I was driving alone – and oh, this wouldn’t be the zoo that is 30 minutes from my house, no, nor the one that is an hour away, it was the one TWO hours away near my best friend’s house, her child’s party).
    Sat in the car with the ice pack from Mr G’s lunch on my ankle. In about 20 minutes, I started to be able to see (the ‘haze of pain’ thing? Seriously real, it was like someone poured milk in my eyes). Then, it was a choice between ‘go to local ER – wherever that is – with a 2-year-old and a broken ankle’ or ‘drive two hours home with a broken ankle, and have epeepunk take me to the ER’. Guess which won? Yep, drove two hours home with a broken ankle (which didn’t hurt as long as I didn’t move it AT ALL), barely got into the house (still thinking ‘maybe it is just a bad sprain?’ until I got to the kitchen and realized that I was unwilling to try to make it to the sofa while ep called the doctor because it would mean GOING BACK the same distance).
    I think it was six weeks in a cast. I also had the great fun of trying to convince the ER staff that I was not a domestic abuse case (having delayed treatment for a broken bone is a major sign of domestic abuse, apparently). I wanted to smack the ER doc who kept asking me if I wanted to stick with that story or change it, and had to roll my eyes when he asked which orthopedist I USUALLY used… Um, first break, buddy, and really, do you have a 2-year-old? Can you picture doing x-rays in a strange ER with a 2-year-old solo? Okay, doable, but way less fun than driving 2 hours with a broken ankle, bub… Sheesh. I know they have to try, but … oy.
    That’s my level set for pain. Labor never got anywhere near that bad, not even when I was accidentally pulled out of hypnosis (hypnobirthing) while on pitocin.
    For actual child-made-contact-with-me pain, one of my kids shoved something pointy (I now can’t recall what, but it was like a metal part of a pen or somethign) under one of my fingernails once. That was pretty close to the broken bone pain, I broke a sweat and shrieked and scared them to death.

  30. @caramama, congrats! Boys rock (so do girls, heh). And some boys don’t pee everywhere. Both of my boys have peed outside a diaper exactly once each. The girls did so far more often (though obviously it is less potentially messy with girls).

  31. congrats, caramama! love the girl/boy combo! it’s working for us!anon- ugh. sounds like you are doing a great job and i agree with hush it sounds like the caller is the one with the problem. i’m sorry you had to go through that.
    my two pain experiences today (you heard me)- coloring with the pnut at her little picnic table she raised her twistable crayon into my eyeball which was bent over said tiny table coloring a leaf. earlier this morning trying to nurse the bean through a nasty head cold with noooooo sleep for either of us- he is squalling and arching his back and as i was trying to get him to switch sides (maybe that would make him happy?) he arched that giant melon right into my face- my instinct was to push him away- luckily we were in bed, so he was fine, but, seriously. i am too tired to think of former hits.
    hope you feel better, moxie!

  32. My son was playing w/his brand new cranky-the-crane (Thomas speak) and started crying about something. As he crossed the room towards me, I knelt down to hug him. He tripped the last step, my hands went up to catch him, and cranky went right into my eye. I ended up at a special eye hospital with a lacerated eyeball. After the exam, they said “Looks like you won’t need stitches after all.” ??? You can get stitches on your EYEBALL? Thank goodness they didn’t tell me ahead of time what they were thinking, I may have run away!Hope you feel better Moxie!

  33. Dear Lord, Moxie, I’m so sorry. Getting hit like that in the nose is one of my phobias. And then REALLY having my dad’s adult nose as a result…Worst pain: the after-pains in my deep breast tissue after each nursing session during thrush. Unfortunately they continued after the thrush was gone, and at 15 months, I weaned her off that breast and we just go solo on the one that doesn’t hurt. It was the kind of pain that 600 mg of ibuprofen couldn’t touch, and would leave me writhing and crying. LLL, the doctors, and the lactation consultants all threw up their hands after many attempts to help and had no solutions that worked. I am hereby sick to death of those who claim lactation consultants and LLL can fix every nursing problem. They cannot.
    2nd worst: post-root canal.

  34. Nursing before we got the oversupply issues fixed. He was clamping his mouth down really tightly to try and control the flow. Curl-your-toes kind of pain.Also chronic back pain for weeks after the birth adjusting to nursing lying down.

  35. Definitely the black eye he gave me with a corner of a board book. I don’t know who mentioned this above, but the only people who said anything to me were strangers! It was like people I knew didn’t want to ask. Crazy!@caramama – Congratulation! I have yet to get sprayed by pee, and hopefully, since we’re at 20 months, he won’t. Although, I will admit, it was only upon watching my husband LIFT certain bits that I realized you had to wipe UNDER them. Oops.

  36. I’m not sure…perhaps it is the tendonitis I developed in both elbows from carrying the little piglet around or breaking my foot stepping over the baby gate a million times a day.The tendonitis came from having a huge baby and being so ill during pregnancy that I gained only 10 lbs. I could put my thumb and forefinger around my bicep after delivery!
    With the foot, the doc has told me to stay off of it. With a crawling, pulling up 10 month old, what does she think I do all day?

  37. I’d have to say the worst child-related pain I’ve had was plugged ducts in both breasts at 7 weeks. It was AWFUL! I couldn’t hold him because it hurt so much and he would just nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse forever because almost nothing was coming out. I can’t even describe the relief I felt when they cleared up. And I’ve gotten a few more, not as bad, and the fear of getting another is almost unbearable.The boy is almost 15 months now and I’ve gotten a few choice head clunkers recently. One to the nose that brought tears to my eyes and another than left a welt and a bruise over my eyebrow.

  38. Being bonked in the nose really, really hurts. Sympathies Moxie. I suppose the recent chunks of hair pulling is the freshest individual pain memory. The bites are all starting to run together.Emotional pain. Yesterday, I gave the 16 monther my keys to hold, buckled him the carseat, went around to get in the car…yeah he pushed the lock button. Nope, he didn’t push the unlock button. Partner not home, purse locked in the car with the baby, who thought it was funny for about five minutes. Did I mention it was raining and the superbowl is here this weekend so that the AAA dude was stuck in traffic, eta another hour? Fire rescue finally came and offered to break my window but about that time, the spare key holder came through. 45 minutes he was locked in the car. He was hysterical when I finally got him out. And his night terrors (thanks to those here who helped me figure that out) had subsided but he cried out worse last night than he ever has. I feel awful.
    Poor anon – I felt like someone was sure to call protective services on me. I was in front of our daycare so mostly I got sympathetic looks.

  39. I fell with my youngest in my arms when he was 6 months old …..I fell over a toy. I saved the baby but my pinky was at the wrong 90 degree angle. It was a Friday night and my husband and I were rushing to get the kids to bed so we could *cough cough* get busy. Being a bartender I was out of work for a long time. Sigh…………….. My pinky is still weird.I hope you are ok!!

  40. Ouch Moxie, hope you are ok!! I don’t have a lot of physical pain to report beyond the odd strained muscle or eyepoke. Mr. C did pull a hedra when Mouse was 4 months old–sprained his ankle in a soccer game, drove an hour home on it…oh and weaning pain was horrible. Nearly as bad as unmedicated labor, without the happy hormones or the satisfaction that it was useful–at least for this member of the IBTC.

  41. @hedra – I probably would have done the same thing…..but I have to say kudos to the ER doc for at least thinking about abuse even if he wasn’t exactly respectful of you in scoping out the situation. I work in an ER and I am floored by how often we miss abuse cases because we don’t stop and think just a little bit more and ask the hard questions.

  42. My Squirrel got his teeth verrrrry early–he had 8 teeth by 7 months old. I was continually shocked at how well nursing was going in spite of all those teeth, when one night, he got distracted and clamped his mouth shut on my boob. OUCH doesn’t begin to describe it. 8 little choppers is a LOT to unleash on an unsuspecting boob. I screamed, reflexively, which made the Squirrel cry uncontrollably. The whole ordeal was awful, but thankfully we both recovered and he never did it again.2nd worst was a head butt to my upper lip as I was trying to kiss the Squirrel good night before I popped him in the crib. I was smart enough that time to bite my tongue and not shriek until I got him to bed and could run out of his room, into the backyard, and scream in pain. Fat lip city.

  43. Erica- ductal thrush is the WORST! It takes major, major doses of something like Diflucan to get rid of it, and it’s SO HARD to get a doctor willing to do that. UGH. I’m so sorry you went through that!My worst mama pain was when my daughter digs her nails into whatever she can grab (unfortunately, quite often that’s my nipple), twists, and PULLS.
    Worst emotional pain was when we lost custody of my stepchildren and they had to say goodbye to my daughter. Their mom lives 2,000 miles away.

  44. Actually, thinking back, my worst mama pain was when my stitches for my tears (one degree labial and one degree vaginal) got infected. I wanted to curl up in a ball and DIE. I was feverish and they were so inflamed and painful. Apparently, there’s an enzyme that nearly everyone makes that dissolves those soluble stitches. As you might have gathered… I do not make this enzyme, apparently. So they didn’t dissolve and were EMBEDDED in the tissue. FUN TIMES.

  45. Moxie, I’m with those that reckon you’d be safest getting checked out.@caramama our son peed on me (but rarely his father) multiple times a day his first couple of months. I’m so glad he’s stopped doing it, although part of me did find it rather funny.
    Does something during pregnancy count? My first pregnancy caused my gall bladder to go berserk, causing daily pain sessions lasting 2-12 hours while stones passed. But I had two instances of stones stuck for four days straight that landed me in hospital, one having caused pancreatitis. It was awful.

  46. Emotionally there was That Time My Baby Spent Five Months Trying To Die in 2005. Man, that sucked! May nobody reading this ever have a doctor tell them “there’s one more thing we can try, but if that doesn’t work…” Fortunately it did.Physically? Oh, probably the time my ex balanced a tv on top of a tv stand (ha! HAHAHA! So not-good for balancing tvs on!) and the same child was learning to walk and pulled himself up on the front of it and in slow motion I saw it start to tip over onto him and managed to lunge across the room and snatch him up and back but was so hyperfocused on the baby that I neglected to move my own body and the thing fell on my foot. OW! But I’d take the broken foot over the flat baby any day.
    Don’t put tvs on tv stands that weigh less than they do, kids.

  47. Yowza, Moxie! Hope you’re feeling better!My one year old son is OBSESSED with nipples! I guess he’s been weaned long enough to have forgotten the good old days of breastfeeding because every time he sees my husband or me without our shirts on, he grabs a nipple and pulls as hard as he can. While it’s HILARIOUS when he does it to my husband, it hurts like h*** when he does it to me! 🙂

  48. No time to read others posts. When my daughter was 12 mos old she dropped the lid of a Lagostina pasta pot and it landed sharp edge smack in the middle of my big toe nail. The worst part was that we were in the process of moving. I wasn’t much help after that!

  49. Okay, so not the *worst* pain, but the alligators are just getting their teeth in now at 13 months. Two weeks, two mouths, eight teeth. I didn’t know I had it so good with the toothless wonders. Does the sharp, pointy-ness of the new tooth edge ever smooth out? I am in serious pain now when tandem nursing because the V-angle causes the upper fangs, I mean teeth, to press deeper into the nipple. I have four dark purple imprints on the top of my nipples when I’m finished. Ouch!Feel better soon, Moxie. And everyone else, be careful! Motherhood is apparently a full-contact sport!

  50. I can’t think of anything painful with my children off the top of my head, but I believe that is only because I whacked myself in the face with my laptop yesterday (don’t ask – I’m less than coordinated) and have a black eye today.

  51. I’m another victim of the 2-year-old headbutt – what on earth makes their heads so damn hard? Only thing that ever hurt worse was a time when he and I both dozed off while he was nursing. In his sleep, he clamped his jaw shut – on my nipple – and despite my screaming and frantic efforts to pry him off, did not stir for what seemed like an eternity. I’m sure it wasn’t more than 30 seconds, but it felt like hours. Couldn’t nurse on that side for a while after, was black and blue, and the not-nursing caused problems of its own.Moxie, are you still conscious?

  52. Well, I have Crohn’s disease. My three year old son, who happens to be trapped in a five year old body (read, really big dude) and I were wrestling on the floor, and he stood up and decided to ghetto stomp me on an inflamed day. I thought for a moment that something inside had ruptured, and I cried a little, but in a manful way… But he said he was sorry like three times, so I had to suck it up….

  53. Moxie, please get checked out for concussion – my husband has been dealing with the (pretty severe) effects from a “moderate” concussion for the past 14 months now. Early detection helps – as, in his case, have a good neurologist and an amazing craniosacral therapist/acupuncturist.

  54. Moxie!I’m really impressed with this blog. I don’t have children but am recommending it to all my friends who do. Hope you’re feeling better.

  55. @mom2boys, I feel your pain. I locked DS1 in the car when I was 8 weeks pregnant with DS2, I also locked my purse and cell phone in there. I was in a supermarket car park. A lovely lady lent me her cell phone and thankfully the RACV (AAA) only took 15 mins to get there. I cried the whole time.I can’t think of any specific child induced injury but there have been many that have bought tears to my eyes. Mastitis (5 times) is also at the top of my list.
    Hope you are okay Moxie, if you are still in a heap of pain by the morning please get it seen

  56. Moxie, very interested in an update — hope you’re feeling better.So far sounds like I’ve been pretty lucky with mine — there have been some ouch moments, of course, but these take the cake! Be careful out there everyone 😉
    (Bethiclaus, if it makes you feel better I once got a black eye from walking into a wall after getting up to pee in the middle of the night. It was in high school so half my teachers were concerned there was some problem at home or something — I appreciated that they were paying attention, but man was that embarrassing to explain!)

  57. Physical: Gallbladder attacks that started when the kid was a few months old.Emotional: Not being able to lift the kid for a couple of weeks after having the gallbladder out. Brutal.

  58. @Amanda too, yes, the teeth round out. Give them something firm to chew on, it will speed up the process. They will stop shaving your skin and over-using the teeth for holding on soon… I promise.I didn’t realize we were doing emotional whammies. I’m with the ‘child attempting to die’ as the worst, though at least I knew mine *wasn’t* dying much sooner. Likewise, wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone, even though mine was a blip by comparison. Having a child present with bloody diarrhea and a fast-growing lump on the abdomen at 5 weeks old wasn’t much fun, either, especially when the docs couldn’t figure out what the lump was, and the surgery to take it out to figure that detail out took an extra 20 minutes (longest 20 minutes of my life). Turned out to be benign, but we didn’t know that for a good week and a bit. Whee.
    Nothing like being hostage to their happiness and wellbeing for the rest of our lives…

  59. Physical pain — does a kidney infection during pregnancy count? That was agony. If not, then it was those first weeks of nursing, when I had bleeding nipples and blisters and spent my nursing time weeping.Emotional — I had the exact same situation as anon — someone called the police on me when I was dealing with my daughter’s tantrum. Except I hadn’t been as virtuous as she had, and I did yell at my daughter (she’d been horrible all day, and this was only the last in a series of tantrums, and I was worn out. But no hitting or screaming or dangling by ankles!) I am not over that. I don’t know if it will ever be a funny story. Awful awful awful.

  60. [*]Jackie is leaving so she can spend more time seeing the world, so I’ve bought it off of her. It’s a good deal as far as I’m concerned. She’s created a stunning business that does really well. //

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  62. i commend any woman who even atmptets to bf for a day. i had a lactation consultant make me feel guilty as we were never able to latch without a shield and she basically told me i am lucky to be living now because 100 years ago without pumps and shields my baby would be dead. needless to say i didn’t use her services anymore. i pumped for 14 weeks before my second battle with mastisis which landed me in the hospital at which point i decided to wean from the machine. congrats to you for making it as long as you did.

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