Release the old

Thanks for all the answers yesterday. This is such a tough stage, and I'm going to have to focus more on emotions than I have been, I think.

Since today is the last day of 2008, I wanted to do something to commemorate that.

So for today, please put down a belief you have about yourself that's been holding you back. Type it here, in the comments section, and it will be anchored to 2008 forever, so you can go into 2009 being free of it.

My belief that's left in 2008 I already shared with you: That I'm a comic figure just trying to make it through the best I can.

If you've got a replacement belief about yourself, we'll put those down tomorrow so they can come into 2009 with us. If you don't have a replacement belief yet, don't worry-it'll come to you soon enough>
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128 thoughts on “Release the old”

  1. Ok here’s my belief about myself that I would LOVE to leave behind:I am a negative person whose first response to anything new is an automatic “I can’t/that’s too hard/I’ll never be able to do that/I won’t (or don’t) like that” followed by all the reasons why “I can’t”.
    What I would like to replace that with in 2009 is “Yes, why not??”
    Thanks, Moxie, this is a really good idea.

  2. The belief that’s been holding me back (that I just discovered not too teribly long ago) is that I am not allowed to be happy if my mother is not happy.Whole lot of family issues there and I’m just discovering this at 32!
    But I’ve got my replacement ready…

  3. My unhelpful belief about myself is that I’m not capable of accomplishing things. Also that I’m kind of basically unlovable.

  4. Moxie, GREAT idea! My controlling belief for 2008 has been way too much focus on the negative and the small daily annoyances of my life. A lot of sighing over here. (which is obnoxious). Overall, I have been very ungrateful.For 2009, I have started a gratitude journal to chronicle the many, many blessings in my life and to shift the focus off of the negative. No more negative!

  5. It’s all college apps all the time here right now, as the deadline for Little One’s top choice is tonight at midnight.In honor of Little One, I too am having problems responding to the prompt provided, so I will just say that 2008 is a year I am so glad to be leaving behind me, I’m wicked proud of myself for coming through it with even my job and marriage intact, no less alive. And I will wash 2008 away tomorrow with full immersion in the Atlantic at The Annual Lobster Dip in Old Orchard Beach, Maine.
    And start 2009 looking forward and not back.

  6. That I am intrinsically lazy when it comes to establishing and maintaining friendships (although, I am getting better at it).Replacement thought: Friendship requires work and effort from both sides to blossom so don’t always wait around for the other person to make the first move.

  7. The belief that’s been holding me back is thinking that happiness will FIND ME. My replacement will be to recognize how truly blessed I am and to show my gratitude by no longer being the angry, irritable, ungrateful person I have become.

  8. Great post – stupendous idea! My belief that has been holding me back (note the past tense in preparation for 2009) is that I am unable to achieve professional success.

  9. I think… maybe… maybe it’s a belief that I’m a powerless agent, surrounded by forces beyond my control… i.e., that I have to do A, B, and C for reasons I don’t control. That I have to be so-and-so person because of obligations I am powerless to avoid or control. That choices that have led me here are irrevocable; that certain things are irrevocable…I’ve had to mull this over. In many ways, 2008 was a break-through year for me in personal achievements and growth… But I think I’m still held back by anger and feelings of helplessness. But then it gets confused, because I do think my feelings of anger and helplesssness are in many ways justified! I mean, don’t we all make choices or are led down a path with unforseen consequences that we then must deal with? Maybe I’m overthinking this. I guess I just want to feel I’m more an agent of free-will in 2009.
    I am also held back by my need for male-approval, and this need seems to grow oddly stronger as I age. I mean approval of my physical appearance, and I feel this need is really holding me back from being a more at-peace person. So I would like to feel some peace around that need.

  10. my belief about myself that I would like to leave in 2008, is that everyone needs to be happy before I can be. I spend too much time putting everyone else before me, that I have nothing left to give myself. Looking forward to 2009

  11. belief to leave behind: that i don’t deserve the lovely life i have, and will thus be stricken with some sort of tragedy/terminal illness any minute now. and that i will have deserved it. honestly, for a perfectly healthy person, i have a lot of anxiety about my health.replacement belief: that everyone deserves to be happy and healthy. my family, myself, my friends, everybody. the end.

  12. I have so much to let go of and get away from, it feels staggering at times.I think that the thing that I need most to let go of, though, is the idea that there is some kind of not-me out there that I can become by shedding me. I need to learn to love and accept and work with the me that I am, faults and talents, both. It’s very hard, though. Anyone have any thoughts on how this can be done?

  13. How many can I list?I’m supposed to finish the things that are important to other people before I work on the things that are important to me.
    I’m half-way through working on that one, but swing wildly back and forth still between working on the things important to me, and the things important to others. And I don’t have it figured yet how to ask for help in my tasks, and not feel like that’s asking too much from everyone else (see, there’s the trap – everyone else can ask from me, but I’m not supposed to ask from them).
    Yeah, that’s the pivotal one right now, I think. Or two, maybe that’s two, but they’re tangled up together.

  14. I have so much to let go of and get away from, it feels staggering at times.I think that the thing that I need most to let go of, though, is the idea that there is some kind of not-me out there that I can become by shedding me. I need to learn to love and accept and work with the me that I am, faults and talents both. It’s very hard, though. Anyone have any thoughts on how this can be done?

  15. Last New Year’s I made a few resolutions, and I realize now that they really were all about me doing things for other people. I, too, want to let go of the idea that I have to take care of everyone else (husband, kids, friends) before I do anything for myself.

  16. I spent 2008 obsessing about getting pregnant and staying pregnant, but with the birth of a darling baby, I think I released that one already.The belief I’d like to leave in 2008 is that I am mediocre at this mothering thing. 7 years in and 3 children, I default to thinking I suck at it. And I don’t want to think that anymore.
    That said, I find myself thinking about money and work and growing up in 2009, I want tomorrow’s belief to make that as positive as I can make it.
    And thank you for another terrific year, Moxie!

  17. The thing I need to let go the most is the fear of dealing and exchanging with people in a foreign language and quit being so embarrassed to ask if they speak English when I really need help… I sometimes hate going out because than I have to face my inadequacies in this foreign language and it shames me to no end! I have to take it with a grain of salt, learn not to take myself so seriously and enjoy this country as much as I can for the time that we have left here…Right and quit worrying about tomorrow already! Why is it that we women (in the most general of terms) think about all theses things when we go to bed as opposed to our partners who manage to insta-sleep the minute they hit the pillow!?
    Whew, that felt better too! Thank you!

  18. I leave behind me the belief that good enough is not good enough. Perfection is not an unattainable goal, and I will cease punishing myself for not reaching it. I shed myself of the belief that imperfections and bad days make me a failure as a mother, wife, daughter, and professional.

  19. My belief that I want to let go of, but am not sure that I can, is a two-parter caused by the same issue:That I won’t be a good mother because I don’t have enough energy to be the kind of mom I want to be year round and that my winter depression will ruin part of my children’s childhood.
    Because of my Seasonal Affective Disorder, I will never have the same amount of energy in the winter as I do in the summer. And I will likely get depressed every year. But after this pregnancy, I want to believe that I will be able to find the right medication to take during the winter to feel good year round. And even if there is no perfect solution, I need to be okay with my limitations and not feel like a failure as a mother, wife, friend, etc.
    I’ll be thinking about how to reframe this for my replacement belief for tomorrow.
    Thanks to Moxie and all the commenters for another wonderful year!

  20. Wow, I have never said it outloud! My belief holding me back has been that my body deserves to be punished for loosing my twins at 22 weeks gestation. Therefore, I haven’t been the best at taking care of this one body that I do have and looking at it for the son it did create after loosing my twin boys. Ack, time to change this and get the bad out of my head and do something better for my body in 2009.

  21. I am not just his daughter and I don’t have to parent like he did for my daughter to turn out ok. I will not resort to fear and I am in control of my temper.

  22. Since becoming pregnant this year, I have been filled with fear and anxiety over the prospect of a second child before I am “ready” for two. I think I have held back when it comes to bonding with this baby. Thus, I have feelings of being a terrible person/mother for worrying this way. I know exactly how I should feel and this exercise might help make the rest of my pregnancy a little brighter!

  23. Excellent idea! Thank you!Some of my beliefs to say goodbye to as 2008 is ending:
    1. I am not in control of my weight gain.
    2. Exercise is punishment.
    3. I don’t have time to read for pleasure, (yet I find time to watch silly things on hulu or netflix so clearly that is a 2008 belief!)
    4. Graduate work is to be procrastinated as much as humanly possible.
    I’m sure there are more but I’ll stick with those for now.

  24. Excellent idea! Thank you!Some of my beliefs to say goodbye to as 2008 is ending:
    1. I am not in control of my weight gain.
    2. Exercise is punishment.
    3. I don’t have time to read for pleasure, (yet I find time to watch silly things on hulu or netflix so clearly that is a 2008 belief!)
    4. Graduate work is to be procrastinated as much as humanly possible.
    I’m sure there are more but I’ll stick with those for now.

  25. Excellent idea! Thank you!Some of my beliefs to say goodbye to as 2008 is ending:
    1. I am not in control of my weight gain.
    2. Exercise is punishment.
    3. I don’t have time to read for pleasure, (yet I find time to watch silly things on hulu or netflix so clearly that is a 2008 belief!)
    4. Graduate work is to be procrastinated as much as humanly possible.
    I’m sure there are more but I’ll stick with those for now.

  26. I just read through the comments.Amy (11:40am), you have a lot of courage. Warm thoughts to you and I am so sorry for your losses.
    I know there is something in my mothering and wife-ing (that isn’t a word but it should be) that I need to say goodbye to along with ’08 but I can’t put it into words right now.

  27. I just read through the comments.Amy (11:40am), you have a lot of courage. Warm thoughts to you and I am so sorry for your losses.
    I know there is something in my mothering and wife-ing (that isn’t a word but it should be) that I need to say goodbye to along with ’08 but I can’t put it into words right now.

  28. I just read through the comments.Amy (11:40am), you have a lot of courage. Warm thoughts to you and I am so sorry for your losses.
    I know there is something in my mothering and wife-ing (that isn’t a word but it should be) that I need to say goodbye to along with ’08 but I can’t put it into words right now.

  29. I need to leave behind the thoughts that I will never succeed in my chosen career. Or that in order to follow my career I will have to neglect my role as a wife and mother. I guess I need to believe that I can succeed in all of those things at the same time.

  30. I think I need to really re-examine my relationship with my parents. I’ve been stewing on this topic over the last week or so – reading the holiday posts, thinking about our own holidays, and other recent developments in my life with my husband and son and OUR core family and how my parents’ opinions, ideas, thoughts, and advice color the way I see my OWN family. I just don’t think it’s healthy, and I also think that I need to re-examine the boundaries I’ve set (or rather not set) with my mom in particular. It’s difficult because she is there for us in so many ways and provides loving childcare for our son and future son……but still. Boundaries need to be set and I need to start seeing myself as a mother and a wife FIRST and a daughter second.I really really think that the problems I’ve been having in my marriage over the last few years stem from my inability to separate properly from my parents. I’m 37 years old. I want to leave that dependency behind and start living my life with my family. And stop being so afraid to make mistakes – which is why I seek out their approval for pretty much everything we do.
    2009 is probably going to be a really good year for my therapist.
    🙂

  31. Amy: I too am very sorry for your loss.Nicol: I feel similarly! I’m pregnant with #2, a year or more earlier than I would have liked and I feel sad for #1 (who is 2 and LOVING being doted on). I feel somewhat badly about this but I know this is because of my own sibling issues.
    But I’d like to leave behind the idea that I’m incapable of professional success because I lack the psychological constitution to be managerial. There will always be skills that I hate, but I can work on some of them during this economy.
    Happy New Year, fellow Moxites. I am deeply grateful for this community and the support and advice you offer. May next year be brighter than the last for everyone.

  32. Thank you for giving us the space and prompt to do this!I am leaving behind my belief that I can’t develop and maintain healthy habits.

  33. I’m leaving behind the thought that what I do is not enough. That I am lazy, and should be doing more. And also leaving behind the resistance to ‘doing’ for fear that someone will come to expect more from me on a regular basis. A constant struggle.

  34. O’ 2009, leave behind the tendency to look for a model to follow– as if models really existed! Stop looking around to see how everyone else is doing things. Listen to your instincts and intuition. Trust and embrace them wholly so you never need double-check yourself.

  35. I’ve been focused too much in ’08 on everyone else’s faults & not enough on my own. I am the architect of my own destiny.

  36. oh mollyball, I am so in the same boat!I’d like to leave behind the idea that I am a loser because I have a hard time getting creative work done with everything else, and that if I was really a disciplined/serious individual I would somehow fit it in. Possibly it would be good to leave behind the idea that I am a loser in general.
    Thanks Moxie! What a ride 2008 was–I’m glad it came out the way it did but I’m also glad it’s over.

  37. I’m leaving behind the belief that I’m just destined to be slightly overweight and that I have no control over it. I do have control over it.

  38. Can I just hijack some of the other beliefs, because I was reading through these going, “Me too! Oh my gosh, that’s me!”@Amy, I’m so sorry about your twins.
    @Shannon, I am with you about the anxiety thing. My negative thoughts are so much stronger than my positive ones.
    @Mollyball, I keep waiting for the awful thing to happen to me/my family. Even though my Dad just passed away Dec 20th, which is awful enough, I’m still expecting something else!! I have been this way for as long as I can remember, and I am a total hypochondriac.
    @KatieB, I still feel like a dorky 12 year old and who trusted me with these kids to take care of?
    Hmm, a new replacement belief will have to be something poetic I can chant because I’m going to have to say it All. Day. Long.

  39. I have a couple for 2008, I hope that’s OK!1. Worrying/being upset that people (especially my co-worker’s) don’t like me. We don’t have to be best friends to work well together.
    2. That I’m not smart/intelligent. It’s pretty bad when my boss has to tell me 2 performance reviews running that I sell myself short, and need to have more confidence.
    3. This one is kind of strange, but it is a control issue. I want to quit worrying every time I get in the car that we will end up in a horrific accident. It makes the commute each day dreadful.
    I do want to take the time to thank Moxie and everyone here for providing a comfortable place here on the web. I appreciate the community, the conversation, the information. I’m so glad I stumbled across this site.

  40. I just want to leave all of 2008 behind me. I’ve been so unhappy and so scared to do the necessary changes to turn things around. So, I guess my belief (and not sure I can just drop this in 2009) is that I am not special, that I don’t have what it takes to find alternative employment, that pushing myself to do those things is too scary so that I’m willing to sit with the results of being stagnant – unhappy every day, stressed about money, unhealthy all the time, etc. Not sure why I am so reluctant to put myself out there.

  41. The belief that has been holding me back is that I will never find love again. (Sayonara to that belief!)Another belief I would like to leave in 2008 is that it’s too late for me to make big career changes.
    This is a cool idea, very cathartic. Goodbye 2008 and good riddance old beliefs!

  42. I want to leave behind the belief that my mother’s problems are my burden and legacy and therefore I will never be capable of being a good mother to my own children.

  43. 2008 was a pretty terrible year for us. I’m happy we get a new shot tomorrow.I’m leaving behind the idea that I’m a researcher and not a do-er. I end up doing very little that I plan because I’m so worried about being perfect. I need to stop researching and just do it.

  44. That I should have done better.That I have to be someone I’m not to be liked – by everyone.
    That I can’t trust my own instincts.
    That my ideas/thoughts/plans have to be justified and agreed to by others.

  45. Old beliefs:I am not a good enough mother and am incapable of being a good enough mother because of my mothers failures.
    That to be a good mother/wife I have to be perfect
    That to be a good enough wife/mother my 5 month old must take predictable naps in her crib and sleep through the night and be on a schedule…
    That to be a good enough mother I must enjoy being home all day entertaining my five month old… BTW so far 5 mos is way better than 4 mos
    That to be a good mother/wife I must be super organized and have the cleanest house
    That having ADHD means I cannot be a good enough mother
    Basically I leave behind any worries about the future that are based on my past or based on something I have read in a parenting book…
    more later probably- this is my first post hello everyone. You all (and chocolate and Zoloft and therapy) has basically gotten me through these last five months called new motherhood. Thanks so much.

  46. My number one negative from 2008 – I’m not worth it. Not worth going to the gym, eating healthy, wearing nice clothes, decent shoes, or having fun doing the things I want.It’s my birthday tomorrow and I’m starting my year off the way I want to. And then I’m taking a burlesque workshop with my best girlfriends on Saturday. (With Howling Vic, thanks to your experiences..)

  47. I love this–a chance to tell some thoughts they won’t be coming on the journey into the new year. The belief I’ll leave behind is that ‘it’ isn’t good enough. There are many ‘its’ in my life: my work, the time with my children, my marriage, our finances, my health, me, and on and on. Buh-bye to all of them!

  48. -That I’m not a creative person. For Pete’s sake, I’ve been working in a creative field and doing pretty well in it for 13 years.-That I don’t deserve to be taken care of.

  49. The attitude I’ve been working on shedding lo these many years:that if I make everyone else happy they will leave me alone and I can focus on what I need to in peace. Worked on this with family for a long time, then – surprise! – it has surfaced in my marriage, to great detriment.
    and its replacement: that they will never leave me alone, nor do I really want them to. (OK, most of the time.) That I must compassionately confront those issues that need addressing, and must keep my needs in balance with them. That the more often I am my authentic self, the better all around.
    in process, and remembering Beckett: “Fail. Fail again. Fail better.”
    Lisa

  50. To leave behind in 2008: a long-standing belief that I’m shy. It keeps me from meeting folks in my new city beyond work and keeps me from cultivating the adult relationships that I know I really need.

  51. Here’s the belief I’d like to leave behind: that the most important thing in the world is to be smart.Another one: that other people have all the power to define me/decide who I am.
    Replacement belief? Not sure I’m there with one yet, but I’d like it to be: the world won’t end if I don’t do what I’m “supposed” to do.

  52. Having grown up in the “school of hard knocks”, my limiting belief at middle age is that too many doors are closed because of some faulty decisions made when I was younger.I always believed that I could “right” whatever decision it was but now that I am out of my 30’s, I feel like that it’s too late for a lot of things.
    So, my limiting belief that I’d like to leave behind is that it’s too late!

  53. So many have articulated hopes that I’ve had myself. In one way it’s comforting to know I’m not alone and yet I can’t get over how hard we are on ourselves!I hope that everyone out there can be kinder to themselves next year. Here are my beliefs I’d love to ditch when the ball drops:Feeling like I’m failing my children because I’m not the homemade play dough making, loves to get down on the floor and play for an hour or more every day (never happens for this long ever and I give myself so much grief over it)perpetually calm and never cranky earth mother I’d always hoped to become. That this is me I have things to work on (more patience, please! oh and consistency) but I do a lot of good things for my children too.
    feeling like the house is never clean enough being consumed with trying to attain domestic perfection.
    Try to actually like myself and take care of myself. Instead of walking around in ill fitting clothing and eating badly.

  54. Thoughts to get rid of:1) That being a WOHM (and liking it!) makes me a bad mother.
    2) That I can ignore my marriage, and it’ll take care of itself.
    Replacement thoughts:
    1) That I’m doing the best job I can juggling work and family responsibilities, and doing pretty well at both of them.
    2) How soon can we schedule a date night?

  55. Old belief: I am a fraud at work. Ask me the right question and you’ll find out I’m not the expert I should be. Seriously, who in their right mind would be crazy enough to take advice from me?

  56. 1. I am not good enough2. They will find me out
    3. I am not worthy
    4. I spend too much time thinking instead of doing
    can’t wait for tomorrow…..already thinking of my new 2009 beliefs

  57. Old:1. I’m not super-skinny, therefore not attractive.
    2. My 18-month old has no set schedule and doesn’t sleep through the night, therefore I have failed as a mum. Somehow people don’t mind implying this.
    New:
    1. I look pretty damn good for having an 18-month old.
    2. M is happy and thriving so everyone else can just get over it.

  58. I hold on to this belief that I am a healthy person except for my big sugar consumption. Every time I eat or drink something sugary, I think it’s going right to my cells to do damage. I need to either consume less sugar or lighten up about it. Will be back tomorrow to look ahead!Happy new year, everyone.

  59. To leave in 2008: “I’m so afraid of failure that I’ll never complete and publish my novel or achieve success in any realm.”

  60. Thanks, Moxie, for giving us this opportunity!I want to let go of the belief that I can either be a mother or “myself.” Part of the reason my husband and I wanted kids was that we liked the people we’ve grown up to be. I need to let my son see more of that person instead of letting myself get lost in the day-to-day parental stuff and not taking time for me.
    Amy: My heart goes out to you.

  61. My belief to leave behind in 2008: That there’s something lacking in me that makes me incapable of succeeding in the working world.

  62. @Sandra – It’s NEVER too late, until the minute you die. I (re)took high school algebra at age 40 at our local community college, after having failed all math classes back when I was in school & spending decades thinking I was bad at math. Guess what? I got an A, and then took Statistics and got an A in that. Admittedly, this is a kind of trivial example, but please believe that it is not too late to make the choices you want to make for today and the future.@Emily – right there with you. Having gestational diabetes this year sort of refocused my attention on this, but I still have a lot of health management/improvement issues I’ve been avoiding doing anything about.
    So the beliefs I’d like to let go of are:
    -I will never make the diet & exercise changes I KNOW I need to make to stay healthy for many years to come
    -I did not get the parenting I wanted/needed, so I have to be angry about this fact forever, and detest my mother for being the person that she is, rather than the one I’d rather her to be – miring us in a horrible, toxic relationship that I will never escape from
    -I am too selfish to be the kind of loving, giving mother to my new son (he is 7 weeks old tomorrow) that he deserves

  63. That I’m always only second best at anything. Never the winner, not quite the loser. So does that make me the linner or the woser? There’s gotta be a name for it. Always almost really good at a lot of things, but never the best at anything.

  64. That I can control my husband’s alcoholism.That I don’t have any energy to help myself because I’m so drained by the problems caused by my husband’s alcoholism and by the needs of an extremely clingy 16 month old.
    That the future is bleak.

  65. I’d like to walk away from the feeling that… 1. I’m too old and out of shape to be a good parent to my toddler and a baby coming soon.2.That turning on Noggin channel is a sign of failure.

  66. In the abstract, the belief I’d like to leave behind is the idea that I don’t deserve the good things that happen to me or the kindnesses offered to me by others.In the practical, I’d like to be done with my doubts that people actually like me, a doubt which leads me to believe that I’ll never be able to make new friends, which leads me to holding back from trying to make the new friends I desperately need.

  67. I really appreciate reading everyone else’s self-defeating beliefs because mine feel less burdensome since I see most of them reflected several times in a group of wise moms who I really respect.I’m leaving behind the belief that the standard of perfection I set for myself is actually reachable. I have never actually met all of my own expectations when it comes to being in consistent control of the things I think I should be — housekeeping, cooking, parenting and wife-ing (yes it should be a word!). I need to let go of expecting perfection from myself in these areas and then being disappointed and down on myself when I don’t achieve it. I’m trying. That’s enough.

  68. I need to drop the idea that it is my job to make everyone else happy.Even if I love you, you can be disappointed sometimes. We’ll all survive. And I need to believe that you won’t withdraw your love just because you feel let down.

  69. I’d like to let go of the idea that I’m less of a person since I left my career to raise my daughter. It’s been a year now, and I still try to define myself by what I did, not what I’m doing.I need to accept that I’ve lived that part of my life already. I’m in a new stage of my life that I chose to move to, and it’s an important one. Not as glamorous, sure. But it makes a huge difference in the life of the little one we brought into the world.
    I’d like to embrace my SAHM life — be a more patient mom, do more around the house. Take pride in the home I run for all of us. Make it our little corner of the world.

  70. I’ll never have enough love to fill me up. I’ll never be very happy because of this. Emotionally, I’ll never have what I need.

  71. Thanks, everybody, for being so open — I share a lot of these but will throw a few more into the pot. I’ve made progress on some, but less on others. I know them to be categorically untrue, but need to let them go once and for all.-That I am somehow less of a mother because I have only one child.
    -That I’m not accomplished enough professionally.
    (Anon with the alcoholic husband — my heart goes out to you.)

  72. I’d like to say goodbye to fear, but…I’ve always had fear, so perhaps I need to say hello to the fear and ask it to come along for the journey, keep it close by and consult it for big decisions.

  73. My belief to leave behind: that I can’t change the habits I don’t like about my life (procrastination, overeating, not exercising).

  74. My annoying 2008 mantra — I am too broken to be successful, and any successes I have enjoyed up to this point are the result of chance, not any intrinsic qualities I possess.Patoooi! Can’t wait to be rid of those buggers…

  75. I want to leave the idea that I’ve never accomplished anything and that I have nothing to build on to accomplish things in the future.2009 goal: Acknowledge what I have done, stop lingering over things I haven’t, and clearly define what I want to work toward in the future.

  76. Lots of great things mentioned already and I identify with many of them. I think the one I’m going to choose is this: I release the need to always be right.

  77. The belief that’s been holding me back is that people don’t like me. That my husband doesn’t like me. Also that I’m lazy and have no self-discipline.I’m going to leave those beliefs behind in 2008. Thanks!

  78. Leaving behind the belief that I can’t have another baby. Secondary infertility sucks almost as much as the first time around.Also (in other areas of my life) that I am doomed to always procrastinate.

  79. Embarrassing but here it is:I have this stupid belief that I am destined to be overweight and exhausted and that I cannot change it. I also hold onto a belief that I am a victim of this things. Time to stop this!

  80. My replacement thoughts:Stop fearing success.
    Stop being humble about the good stuff if your life; there is no reason to be ashamed of happiness.
    The common denominator for the good stuff that’s happened — me.
    Loving yourself is not the same as being conceited or arrogant, nor is it a sign of being wrong/bad/evil.
    And last – your mind and body are *your* playgrounds. Have fun!
    *sigh* this is going to take some time, adopting these replacement thougghts of mine. Already that automoatic shrinking wallflower feeling is taking over, making me feel crappy about what I wrote above.
    My work is cut out for me this year. Balance….here I come.
    Happy new year to everyone!

  81. The belief that is holding me back is that I am stuck; that I have no control over my personal life, my professional life.For so long I was in preparation for a life that was always around the corner.
    Now I am stuck with a life that has no reality, no content, I have no measure of who I really am.

  82. “I’m not good enough.” Doesn’t matter what the situation, I find myself thinking this. God, how I would love to leave this in 2008…

  83. I want to leave behind the belief that if people could see into my head they would realize that I’m a fraud – that I don’t know what I’m doing at my job and that I’m only lucky to do well in school.

  84. My feelings, opinions, needs and wants are “too much.”simultaneously, I am not enough, not a good enough mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister.
    I’m screwed by the limitations of my body, old injuries, tension & chronic pain.
    If I want it done, I need to do it myself. If I don’t do it, it’s not done right.
    I don’t like or deserve eating healthily & exercising.

  85. I believe I’ll never finish what I start, I can’t trust myself to follow through on promises to myself, and I’ll never be happy.God I want to leave those beliefs behind!

  86. That I am some how less since I no longer work outside the home.Revision: My job (vocation? calling?) for now is to be the best mom that I can be while she is so small and realize how lucky I am to have a choice. That the career, should I want it again, CAN come about later, even if I feel scared and out of the loop.

  87. Leaving behind:the need to get every little thing done. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
    self-criticism, particularly self-deprecation.
    my apparent inability to forgive myself for not being perfect.
    my need for others to see me as awesome capable holding it all together. I am, in fact, awesome capable holding it all together, most of the time, but when I’m not, that is okay too.

  88. I need to let go of my belief that I’m not a good teacher and that my students deserve a better teacher who could *really* meet their needs. Yes, I’m far from perfect, but I’m crippling myself with this ridiculous belief and keeping myself from being the best teacher possible.

  89. I’m late on this, but I’m still leaving it behind, so it counts!I’ve left behind the idea that I am responsible for everyone’s happiness, that I made my bed so I have to lie in it, and that it’s ok if I’m miserable as long as I’m taking care of the people around me and keeping them from misery.

  90. To leave in 2008:That I’m not able to remember things correctly. (The ‘joke’ about my Dad’s side of the family is “always positive and sometimes correct”.) If my career goal of being an authority on sustainable design is to work, I have to have confidence in my recollections.
    So begone ye foul thoughts – leave my brain!

  91. I know these should probably be deeper than being about food and weight, but that is my big struggle right now..My false belief about this issue is that I have no control over what I eat, that my cravings take the best of me, and that it really doesn’t matter anyway. I can see and feel that it does. I want to show my son and future kids a person can have a healthy relationship with food and truly enjoy high quality food.

  92. That the world will fall apart if I am not perfect. This unfortunately now extends to the people around me, and demanding their perfection is doing even more damage than demanding my own has done all these years. (Sorry, DH.)That I am just faking it – I’m not creative or smart or fun.
    That I should just give up on my personal appearance since I am not at the weight I’d like to be. I’d hate for people to think I actually put effort in and it STILL turned out like THIS!

  93. The old belief: that I’m inherently lazy and undermotivated, that I’m not as smart or as capable as people think I am, and that I’ve hit my ceiling, achievement-wise — it’s all downhill from here.

  94. I am leaving behind: the belief that I am not yet a capable adult and need to be protected from the world; the belief that I need to “take it easier” or “slow down” in order to find happiness; the belief that I am helpless and lost.I think it’s time to stand up. Time to shake my fist at the sky and say: I AM HERE.

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