Baby carriers and back pain

Baby carriers do not need to hurt your back. If you're wearing them correctly, you'll feel the weight of the baby, but it shouldn't be so painful that you need to take pain meds. If you are feeling that much pain, you can Google the name of the carrier you have and the word "instructions" and someone somewhere will have posted photos of the correct way to wear that carrier. Or else try a different kind of carrier, because there is no perfect one, and maybe there's a better one for your body.

In general, the closer to you and higher up you can put your baby, the less pain and movement you'll have. If you're using a Bjorn or Bjorn-style carrier (which I don't actually recommend because I think other styles are far less painful, notably the Ergo if you like a constructed carrier or a wrap carrier if you like less construction), make sure the cross in the back crosses below your shoulder blades. It should be where your bra strap goes. Here's a really old post on different kinds of carriers.

Also, wearing your baby should be something you do because you want to. Not because it's "in fashion" or because Dr. Sears tells you to. Do it because babies who are worn tend to cry less, or because you like having your little one snuggled against you, or because your baby won't stop !@#$%-ing screaming if you put her down, or because your best friend walked all the baby weight off by wearing her baby, or because you can't deal with your stroller, or whatever. But let it be because you want to. Not because the lady at the grocery store or the women on the message board or the misogynist ad-writers at Motrin tell you you have to and then make fun of you for it.

You are the parent. You get to decide.

Also, seriously–Lucky Magazine? I read you because I want to get away from the "moms should do this and that" crap that bombards me every effing day in this country. All I want from you is to know whether ruching is in this fall and how to wear suede booties with a sweater dress and why shea butter is the miracle that's going to solve all my hair problems. I do not want misogynistic mommy drive-by ads in your pages. If you want to take ads from the hacks at Motrin (who apparently have never heard of a focus group), force them to give you ads about pain and *actual* fashion. They could have done a heck of an ad about stilettos and other painful shoes, but they chose the easy, inaccurate, bottom-feeding low-hanging fruit. Don't participate in the proliferation of mom-guilt on the hardworking women of the world. We get enough of it every day from people wearing Christmas sweaters. We want your magazine to be a safe space.

I think I'm going out to buy a big bottle of Advil tomorrow.

(Hey–if you're feeling carpal tunnel-type pain from lifting or carrying a baby or toddler, before you despair or get cortizone shots or dope yourself up on a pain reliver that starts with M that I'll never buy again, try homeopathy. Go to a health food store and plunk down $6 for a tube of pellets of Rhus Toxicodendron. Get 30x if they have them–if not get whatever dose they have. Take one under your tongue three times a day. If it's the proper remedy for your kind of pain, you should feel less inflammation and pain within three to four days. Keep taking until the pain is gone. If it isn't doing anything after four days, then it's the wrong remedy for you, so you can stop. Safe for breastfeeding, and no interactions with anything else! I had debilitating carpal tunnel from lifting my horse of a firstborn, and his pediatrician, who is also a homeopath, prescribed Rhus toxicodendron for me, and it worked like a charm. So I'm passing it on to you, the pain sufferers of the internet.)

129 thoughts on “Baby carriers and back pain”

  1. Here’s something that I didn’t mention in the post that I wrote about the Motrin issue – the fact that I perceived babywearing as kinda fashionable (pretty pretty slings that conceal a flabby postpartum belly? NICE) was extra motivation to make the effort to figure out babywearing, and I’m so glad that I did. But if it weren’t such lifesaver – the babywearing – it wouldn’t have mattered how fashionable it was, I wouldn’t have done it. No energy for anything that doesn’t make my life easier.I do end up with a sore back or neck occasionally, but that’s mostly, I think, just because I have a massive baby (he’s pushing 25 lbs at barely six months) who is also squirmy and because I carry him so much (and not always in a sling or carrier.) But I take Advil at the end of a long day, not Motrin ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Ironically, last week I had bad back pain, most likely from poor sling wearing. I was taking Tylenol, because isn’t IB not so great for bfing babes? Anyway, my old bod just couldn’t take the baby in the sling 24 hours a day like my other two.I’ve since taken some lessons from my local massage therapist and switched sides (genius I tell you), and also rotated in a moby type wrap as well.
    And clearly I can think of about 3000 other things to make me look more fashionable than wearing my screaming, drooling baby.

  3. I regularly ring sling my 38 pound two year old on short trips. I use an Ergo for longer walks. Switching sides is really important and I don’t do it often enough because I don’t like constraining my dominant hand/shoulder. But yeah – I’ve been an avid baby wearer for 2 years now and the back pain I have is from hefting her into the carseat in the middle of our Honda CR-V. Oy.Thanks for the homeopathy suggestion; I definitely have wrist issues.

  4. Also, if you’re having trouble with your carrier, try finding a local babywearing group through or Both have listings of babywearing groups. My group has a library of different styles of carriers to try out, and lots of “experts” (moms) who can help you figure out which one is right for you and how to use it safely and comfortable.

  5. Just FYI I think Ibuprofen is considered safe for breastfeeding. According to my LC who is also a RN the molecules are way to big to pass into the milk. Just saying that you should check it out before ruling it out. Ibuprofen helps in a lot of situations where tylenol can’t because of it’s anti-inflammatory properties.

  6. I knew I could count on my Paris-born 16-month-old son to be ON TOP of what’s stylish.You see, when he was born no one told ME that babywearing was, like, the hip thing to do. I bought the stroller and the baby seat and was all set to be a plain-old boring conventional mom, but my son had other ideas.
    What he wanted to say was, “Hey, mom, for once you can be on the cutting edge of a new fashion trend! Wear me in a wrap and no one will notice your ratty sneakers or your unfortunate hairstyle!”
    Alas, that was a bit beyond his verbal skills at six weeks old, so all he could do was scream his poor little heart out every time I put him down.
    Safely cuddled up next to me in the Moby, he could finally sleep, relieved to know that he wouldn’t be seen in the company of an unstylish mother.

  7. My GP did not hesitate to recommend ibuprofen to me as a BFing mother for my wrist pain. My pain started immediately after baby’s birth and finally after 6 weeks of pain (night and day) the GP gave me a wrist splint and told me to “rest” it. Um, sure. No problem, Doc.I called it carpel tunnel, but turns out mine was actually “de Quervain’s stenosing tenosynovitis”. Cool name, huh? Different tendon, apparently, than carpel tunnel. As GP said, it eventually went away after about 4 months. Thankfully didn’t have to go the steroids or surgery route.

  8. I have been known to intervene in improper wearing of Bjorns (which I like early on, both for walking with the baby and for holding the baby on my lap, facing outward, when we’re eating out). But straps on the original kind tend to shift, and when I see people with the X near the base of their necks, I sometimes tell them it’s shifted and ask if they’d like me to put it back for them.

  9. So could the wrist pain be described like:-in the connection from the thumb to the wrist
    -more painful before the wrists are ‘warmed up’
    -sometimes a clunky, pop kind of feeling
    -friggin’ relentless
    -messes up handwriting but not thank goodness doesn’t mess with my typing
    I always thought carpel tunnel was a tingling sensation, and I don’t have that but MERCY I could use some help with my wrists.

  10. Note too that if you’re using an Ergo and having troubles figuring it out (like I was, especially with a newborn), Ergo makes a DVD with tricks and tips on how to use the Ergo. Also, ask at the store if they can help. I did this and all it took was a 15-minute ‘lesson’ to figure out what I was doing wrong.Also, while evidence says that babywearing is good for bonding, causes less crying, etc. please note that not all babies like to be “worn”. I know several who wanted nothing more than to see the world from a stroller. So if babywearing just isn’t working for you, don’t beat yourself up, just go with what works!

  11. I had to Google the ad to see what you were talking about, and um, WOW. Just…wow. Someone seriously thought that would make parents WANT to buy their product? Had they been drinking heavily the night before?(For anyone else with Tivo and no Lucky subscription –
    Once my son got too big to wear in the front, YouTube how-to videos were a lifesaver in figuring out how to get him into an Ergo back carry on my own. I hate taking my stroller on the subway and he loves being carried, so I pretty much wear him on my back all day on weekends. The key for me is good shoes – my knees will start to feel the strain of that extra 22 lbs before my back will.

  12. I still use the baby bjorn with back support when my son is 1 year old because I have hip problems and it distributes his weight enough to not be on my hips that I can hold him, even for normal around the house time. He loves it for a short amount of time and is great, so now I can go get the paper, make coffee and still hold him. Also use it for putting away groceries etc. He loves being at my level and I enjoy doing things knowing he’s safe and I can keep a close eye on him. He pulls hair, so I’m less keen on having him in a backpack, but I think my husband wants to try that, especially when I have hip surgery and can not pick him up.

  13. I also loved the sling and wore it constantly when he was smaller, but found that the uneven weight distribution was making my hip problems worse (it’s the same thing as wearing a backpack with one shoulder strap)

  14. A good mom friend of mine is a pharmacist, and I asked her about ibuprofen years ago. What she said is that *some babies* have tummy troubles from it, just like some adults do (imagine! babies are just small people!). So you shouldn’t go all ibuprofen-crazy until you figure out that it isn’t bugging your baby. But if it doesn’t cause either of you tummy troubles, then it’s fine.@heather–good point! Some babies don’t like to be worn, and some don’t like to be worn during certain phases even if they did before.

  15. FYI- seems obvious, but after spending $90 on a Bijorn, I didn’t think to check consignment stores. I later got our sling at our local kid’s consignment store. They had several to choose from- and these things are great to buy used, because they are expensive and you don’t always know which type will work out best. I think I spent $15 on the sling.

  16. @Cobblestone – yep, yep, yep (oh dear sweet jesus the popping), yep, and most likely, although mine was in my non-writing wrist. Add to that picking up baby nearly impossible and you’ve described me.

  17. So glad to hear I’m not alone in experiencing all of this pain! Mid-Back pain, lower back pain, wrist/thumb pain, tendinitis in both biceps (I think – self diagnosis). I feel like I am falling apart.Does anyone have any experience with the mid back pain problem? Mine is really bad (though very slowly getting better thanks to visits to the chiro), mostly in the am after waking up from sleeping off & on all night (wake up 2-3 times to feed). Can’t turn over in bed without it totally killing.
    Don’t think it’s the baby carrier – mostly use the bjorn now, always with the cross low enough down, and my back doesn’t hurt while I’m wearing the little guy. Can’t do the ring sling – too much weight on one shoulder.
    I’ve built a platform to raise the crib mattress even higher than the top setting of our crib (when I put my DS in a friends crib that was 4″ higher, it was soooo much easier on my back) – made such a difference.
    My chiro has given me more hints on how to properly lift the (big) little guy. Including putting one foot in front of the other, even if slightly, while lifting him out of the crib which has sides that go up to the top of my hip bones. Also now doing some exercises to open up the mid back area.
    Take 2 Advil every night before bed as it helps lessen the mid back pain in the morning. But, I’ve been doing this for a while now and am beginning to wonder if prolonged use will have effects on DS as I’m breastfeeding.
    So, am running out of ideas. Usually the chiro is the cure-all for back problems for me. Pre-pregnancy it just took a couple of visits to cure debilitating back problems. It’s been 5 months now, and I’ve only seen marginal improvement with the mid back. I guess part of the big difference here is that normally I would be able to rest. Now, I still have to do a certain amount of lifting and carrying when DH is at work.
    So, anyone have any brilliant suggestions? Or suggest who else I should go see? Naturopath? Physio therapist? I already see a great massage therapist. I hesitate to see a medical doctor for back pain as I don’t just want to be drugged up. I want to fix the problem.
    Oh, and that f#*!?ing car seat? Grrrrr. So hard to carry (with DS in it) in a way that you aren’t contorting or hyperextending any limbs. Unfortunately, we have to carry it up to and down from the top of 3 story walk up.

  18. My friends and I just joined a group on Facebook telling Motrin to eff off for creating such a condescending ad. They received so many emails complaining about the ad that they wrote an apology to a blogger (Crunchy Domestic Goddess):Dear Amy –
    I am the Vice President of Marketing for McNeil Consumer Healthcare. I have responsibility for the Motrin Brand, and am responding to concerns about recent advertising on our website. I am, myself, a mom of 3 daughters.
    We certainly did not mean to offend moms through our advertising. Instead, we had intended to demonstrate genuine sympathy and appreciation for all that parents do for their babies. We believe deeply that moms know best and we sincerely apologize for disappointing you. Please know that we take your feedback seriously and will take swift action with regard to this ad. We are in process of removing it from our website. It will take longer, unfortunately, for it to be removed from magazine print as it is currently on newstands and in distribution.
    Kathy Widmer
    VP of Marketing – Pain, Pediatrics, GI, Specialty
    McNeil Consumer Healthcare
    Don’t you just love it when the system works? We told them we didn’t need their guilt-inducing ad, and they actually listened!

  19. Also…the aches and pains I experienced as a new Mom was something no one warned me about. For me, it had to do with contorting myself into new nursing positions, carrying that %$#!!* carseat around, and laying my son ever so slowly into his crib so he wouldn’t wake up yet again.I think I was in pain for the first 6 months. Massage helped, a chiro would have helped. Mostly, time and experience helped. But being a new Mom is really hard on your body! The day-to-day of it was much harder on me than the birthing was.

  20. I’ve bought every carrier in the book–3 ring slings, an Ergo, a Moby, Bjorn, Hotsling and a few homemade numbers. I have never gotten ANY of them to work for more than a few minutes with either of my children. This is SAD because I always wanted to wear them–I carry them around everywhere, babywearing would have been (and would still be) a godsend.My problem is that they never feel secure–I always have to use a second hand to hold them. The slings and Moby seem to stifle them against my chest and it takes so long to get them in and out. Also, how do you sit down with a baby strapped on you? The Ergo makes my belly fat pouch out very unattractively. The Moby drags the ground in public when I try to tie it (think: dirty parking lot Moby-ing up location-UGH!). The sling jsut pisses them off something fierce. The hotsling I got cruncehs my babies’ feet and legs. I’ve poured over the babywearing sites, memorized Moxie’s baby carrier post, read instructions until my eyes glaze over, attended LLL meetings and had an actual in-home demo–all with no success. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?

  21. thanks for the rant this morning! it made me smile in while facing 21 ungraded papers (to be graded around baby today and both kids tomorrow), office hours this afternoon (which I expect will be busy), and a cranky baby. can he really be teething this early?hopefully he’ll sleep in the sling during office hours. it has really been a lifesaver with him. just this morning I was debating whether to get an ergo soon or just hold off and wait until he’s big enough for a backpack. or maybe see if wallyworld has some cheap knit fabric and make a wrap…

  22. thankfully the bean will go in a carrier/sling…the pnut wouldn’t ever (eva!) go in one- she just knew it wasn’t my arm, and being that close to my boob as too much for her to handle, i guess. the bean seems happy in the hand-me-down bjorn we have (thanks for the tip on where the x goes!!), and liked the pouch when he was teeny. i always wanted to try the moby, too scared of the process of wrapping. my friend who wears her kids loves her yamo.i also love *not* wearing the baby plenty of time- bean sleeps in the swing, plays in the saucer thing, on the floor, etc. gives him a chance to just be him, lets me take a shower w/o the guilt of hearing him cry in the other room.
    i miss excedrin. that stuff got me through grad school!!

  23. also on the different types of wraps/slings. Slings didn’t work for us, he always hated them. He loved the Bjorn when he was old enough to face out, and my husband was ok with wearing that one (I suppose it’s the “manliest” of them all, hah!). I bought the Ergo much later on and fell in love with it. It didn’t cause me back strain like the Bjorn did.I mostly started using the carriers because, as a PP mentioned, my kid demanded it. He hated strollers, carseats, anything where he wasn’t being held. I *wanted* to be one of the moms who could walk off the pounds while pushing him (sleeping peacefully) in a stroller and sipping a latte. (me, not him). But the kid had different ideas. Screamed, screamed, screamed unless he was held.
    I became quite the talk of the neighborhood, pushing an empty stroller, while carrying my kid. So I gave up and gave in!

  24. Homeopathy is Be You En Kay. There I said it. There’s a reason it doesn’t work and that is that there is no there there. What’s in that bottle? sugar pills, plain water. I can get you placebos for way cheaper, I call them m&ms and they are better anyway. Also: Bigfoot not real.

  25. I found a video of the ad on YouTube. I think that the argument in the ad is a bizarre and not helpful – adding peer pressure and external stuff to many moms who are trying to find their way into motherhood. Very similar, IMO to cosmetic ads, where it preys on your insecurities. (Do I look like a real mom? I don’t feel like a real mom. What about crows feet? Do they make me look older than I am? See. Same sort of reasoning.)However, it’s not the first pain reliever ad that tried to position the medicine as “mother’s little helper” I remember seeing a print ad picturing several kids “running amok” and a worn out mom, and the pain reliever suggesting that it was the solution. This, along with “I don’t have time for the pain” themes would be much more universal and inoffensive approaches.
    Besides, wouldn’t the “baby wearing because of the peer pressure” segment be a very narrow target? Aren’t we too smart for that?

  26. @Amanda — I’m no expert, but I ran into some of the same problems at the beginning that you describe. I was ready to give up and declare myself a failure at babywearing, but eventually I got it to work for me.I had to practice a lot with the Moby. It was a bit delicate to get tied with just the right tightness (especially since most of the time you’re working with a screaming, cranky baby who isn’t likely to be too keen on take-them-out-try-it-again). The key was not to give up. It probably took twenty times to get it right and another twenty to truly feel like I knew what I was doing. Try it at home in front of a mirror, and try not to worry if it works, just say to yourself, “Gee, I think I’ll spend five minutes trying this again just for the heck of it.” Once I did get the hang of it, I LOVED my Moby.
    For some of the holds, you can tie the wrap before you leave home and then just slip the baby in when you’re in a parking lot (because yeah, icky pavement + trailing wrap is not cool.)
    Le Petit hated hated HATED the cradle hold, so I ended up passing on the ring sling until he was old enough for a hip carry. I haven’t used my ring sling all that much as a result, so I can’t help there, alas.
    But I also have an Ergo, and it still comes in quite handy in many situations, like hiking in the woods or trying to get a cranky fourteen-month-old to sleep on a transatlantic flight. It may be worth experimenting with different layers of clothing underneath the belt strap and/or placing it lower or higher on your hips.
    Finally, remember that these things have a learning curve. When you watch experienced moms or instructional videos you get the feeling that you should be able to just do it like that, with your eyes closed and balancing on one foot if necessary. It ain’t so easy at first and no, it isn’t just you. You have to learn how it feels for yourself to get it right… and the baby does too!
    Good luck!

  27. I have way more back pain from the co-sleeping/nursing than I do from popping the baby into a carrier. Although I have never succeeded in using the Bjorn for more than 10 minutes without needing some painkillers. I’ve never bought Motrin though. It’s too expensive when you can get generic ibuprofen.

  28. also, michelle g., depending on where you are, your local craigslist can be a good source for all things baby, especially slings that folks bought and their baby didn’t like, so basically brand new! i got the pouch one off of ebay, too. i hate buying expensive things like that and then my kid ends up hating it!i was also thinking how different it is now with the bean than it was w/ the pnut- i wanted to wear her so bad (i hear ya, amanda- i was considering cutting leg holes in the kangaroo pouch carrier so he could be snug but kick his legs as he wanted too- did the bjorn instead) but she would have none of it- but at that time i remember wearing your baby was still sort of earthy crunchy mama (around here) and folks looked at you funny- now it’s cool. go figure. i’m so freakin cool. too bad i’m not in high school anymore and couldn’t give a damn.

  29. on the carrier thing–I have a couple of pouch slings. I started with a hotsling my oldest adored to use on my hip but the new baby doesn’t like. i made another that holds him higher and closer to my chest and he loves it. I never had luck w/cradle holds w/ either kid–little dude just sits upright like a frog and sleeps away.what amazes me is how many people don’t know about carriers. last month we went to the state fair and I must have been asked about mine 20x. My current theory is that its a more urban phenomenon and the fair attracts lots of rural folks.

  30. @Amanda, I’m kind of repeating parisienne mais presque, but ITA about strapping on the wrap before leaving the house. Then you can fiddle with it all you want before standing in the parking lot. I often put on whichever carrier I’m using (I alternate btw the Bjorn, ring sling and homemade moby wrap), then put a hoodie or cardigan over it and load the baby in whenever we reach our destination.I’ve also made up some of my own wrap techniques if I’m feeling like the conventional way isn’t secure enough or whatever. You might try wrapping it around your body or your baby a few more times to make the tails shorter and to feel like it’s more secure. Whenever I first put it on, I always wrap it MUCH tighter because the stretchy material loosens up with wearing. I also pull the ring sling WAY tight, too. No matter what position you’re carrying or which carrier you’re using, no part of the baby’s torso should ever be at or below your belly button. “High and tight” works for baby carriers AND haircuts!
    @Pnuts mama … I miss Excedrin too. We migraine sufferers have been known to call it “Vitamin E.” Against a migraine, Tylenol is about as effective as tic tacs.
    Finally, I will never buy Motrin, regardless of their sensitive response to the uproar. A$$holes.

  31. Used the Bjorn with my daughter. She loved it, I loved it, happy happiness. When I was pregnant with my son I researched carriers and every site I went to said something like “Bjorn! Evil! Will hurt you and ruin your baby forever!” This scared me a little so over the first 3 months of my sons life we went through 2 ring slings, 1 Peanut shell, 1 hotsling and a Mai Tai. My baby said something like “Wah! Why are you putting me in these torture devices! I hate you! Wah, etc!” I gave up, put him in the Bjorn and guess what? Happy happiness. It also caused me the least pain.

  32. I’ll need to watch for the Motrin ad – the VW Routan ad has my panties in a bunch right now – I hate that ad.Homeopathic remedies are not BUNK. Sorry they don’t work for you, they do work for the rest of us.
    I got into babywearing with my daughter late so I never experienced the full benefits. I started with my son at 1 day old and he and I both love it. I have a Babyhawk (mei tai), one on order, and 2 Moby wraps. The Mobys take practice, don’t give up. Slings don’t work for my body type otherwise I’d have some of those too.
    My daughter was content with the car seat, bouncy, and swing. My son would have none of it so BWing was the only way to keep him calm.
    I love wearing him because it keeps hands away!

  33. Another comment on carpal (didn’t have time to read all the replies, sorry if this is a repeat…)I’m taking a pregnancy exercise class with a physical therapist, and she has pointed out that the slouching that we tend to do when pregnant or carrying a baby or so forth puts pressure on the joints at the shoulders, which can contribute to increased swelling in the arms, including the wrists, making carpal tunnel syndrome worse. So learning stretches that pull the shoulder blades back together for proper posture, and learning how to pick things up properly (straight back, bending from the waist rather than hunching the shoulders to pick up the kid) can help reduce carpal symptoms. And talking to a physical therapist to learn the right stretches and behavioral modifications is a good idea if trying to make those changes on your own aren’t helping – if you can, see if you can find a PT who specializes in pregnant/postpartum women.

  34. I guess to me this sounds like the old adage “if breastfeeding hurts, you’re doing it wrong.” In my experience nursing four children, sometimes it just hurts. In my case once it hurt because of thrush…once it hurt because positioning was bad…and once it hurt for no reason except my nipples needed time to get used to my baby’s barracuda-like suck. Hearing “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong” was extremely frustrating because I WANTED to keep going, I WAS doing it right, and I just wanted to feel like I wasn’t alone (after a couple of weeks the pain was gone and I went on to have a happy two-plus year nursing relationship. But it helped when a few people were honest enough to say, uh, yeah, sometimes? It just hurts.)Anyway all this is to say I’ve tried many different kinds of slings, different holds, worn them differently etc…and when you have a) 9- and 10-lb newborns and b) a propensity toward back/shoulder strain and pain, sometimes it just HURTS. I still wore my babies for 110 reasons, but it feels a little dismissive to say “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong”…unless you know the personal anatomy and babywearing habits of every single woman complaining of pain, the truth is you just don’t know.

  35. (Delurking to comment)I totally agree about the ads. Babywearing isn’t always for everyone – some babies really do not like it, even if they’re not the average. But I loved the Ergo and I loved it precisely because it redistributed the weight so well.
    And what is with the mommy martyrdom rearing its head again? Haven’t we yet learned that we should be working to a point where mothers do not have to be in literal pain all the time to provide for their kids? I am an AP-inspired parent but let’s get real.
    However, on the magazine front – I work at a great magazine, but in this economy we do need the ads we get. ๐Ÿ™‚

  36. @Moxie – Amen about ibuprofen causing “tummy troubles” in adults, too. And by “tummy troubles,” I mean excruciating, horrible pain as my stomach lining began eroding after only 3 days of ibuprofen use per the Rx & Dr.’s directions. I had hoped it would help with the minor postpartum tearing um, down there, but Never Again! The cure was way worse than the so-called disease. Rumor has it an overdose of tylenol can reportedly send you into liver failure. Now whenever I have a headache, my first line of defense is a huge glass of ice water, and a half hour of self-accupressure on my hand in the space between my thumb and my pointer finger. For all other minor pains, I’ve just resorted to trying to ignore them because I am so scared of OTC pain meds. Which Baby Bjorns – They’re not all bad. Someone gave us a secondhand one & DH actually used it quite a lot on the weekends until DS was about 6 months old & suddenly started demanding to be put down on the floor to crawl. Amen to all who have said not every kiddo likes babywearing, or likes it for long. After 6 months & Spring had arrived, DS still loved to be held in our arms, but hated to be swaddled or constrained in any type of carrier or sling anymore. He seemed to get easily overheated in all of the slings & carriers we borrowed.
    As for the silly/sad suggestion that if you don’t wear your baby, you’re not a “real” AP-er, I say booosheet! AP theory is all about physical closeness between parent & child so the parent can learn to read the child’s signals in order to be able to respond to the child’s unique, changing needs. Sometimes that unique, changing need might be the need to NOT be held in a hot, sweaty sling in the summer when they’d rather crawl around, or remove everything from the kitchen drawer I didn’t get around to babyproofing yet. One True Wayism & Parenting Theory Fundamentalism can suck it, and that’s why I love all of the smart Moxie mamas who aren’t such literal, black-white thinkers all the damn time. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  37. Hey, Meagan, what if you bought a pair of running shoes and they really hurt your feet? Would you just accept that and keep running until you needed to take pain relievers? Or would you look for a different kind of shoes, ones that fit your feet better? Why is it OK to say “just tough it out” with a babywearing device when they’re not all made the same and the one you have may just not fit you very well?@Doesn’t Believe In Magic, I’m sorry homeopathy has never worked for you. When I had inflamed pain (from holding a 10-pound newborn) that was closing in and decreasing my range of motion by the day, and no pain reliever was touching it, it stopped the inflammation and pain for me. Am I a liar? Or delusional? Or maybe we’ve just had different experiences, and that’s OK.

  38. I haven’t read all the comments but Milliner, try an osteopath. I have had such good results from mine, it is definitely something I’d recommend. I had excruciating lower back/hip pain for a couple of months after an extraordinarily stressful time in my life (a couple weeks of which I spent hoisting my huge baby nephew), and NOTHING helped–not drugs, not the chiro, not massage, not acupuncture, not homeopathy. The osteopath (and I’m not exaggerating) was MIRACULOUS. They focus on deep tissue manipulation of the spine and surrounding tissue. The weird thing is, the treatments are very subtle and not painful at all–it almost feels like nothing is happening, but I’m here to tell you after 2 treatments my pain was 100% gone. Osteopaths are specialized MD’s, and an interesting combo of Western + alternative treatment philosophies. I can’t recommend osteopathy highly enough.

  39. I dunno. I thought Meagan’s post sounded like if she chose to jog for whatever reason and after trying countless pairs of shoes and finding the ones she liked best – if she still had some pain it didn’t mean she was wearing the wrong shoes or jogging the wrong way. Just that as a physical exercise jogging, like babywearing, can be a strain on your body but if you like the results you do it anyway.But then again I neither jog nor babywear.

  40. Where did I say “just tough it out?” or suggest people don’t try different options? My point is that sometimes you do all those things and it’s still uncomfortable. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it (for many of us) just that it’s a reality.I’ve tried no fewer than twenty baby carriers–some are better than others, yes, but sometimes, my back still hurts when I use them. I do “tough it out”, I guess (though I don’t really see it that way) because the benefits outweigh the soreness.
    Babyhood is a relatively short time, budgets are finite, time is a valuable resource, and we don’t all have access to stores where we can go try on every sling/carrier to see which one works best (plus, often they feel great for the first twenty minutes, and not so great afterward). At what point do we just say “Okay, maybe there’s a better option out there, but I’ve done my best. I’m going to wear my baby because it works for me, but once in a while I’m going to have a sore neck or a stiff back and in those cases maybe a pill (Motrin, Advil whatever) wouldn’t be such a bad thing.”
    If I bought a pair of running shoes and they felt great for a mile run that doesn’t necessarily mean I’d expect my feet to feel awesome after a marathon. Some days, you wear the baby on a quick trip to Target; somedays, it’s a day-long marathon. And sometimes, like many other things having to do with motherhood, it makes you sore and tired. My point is simply that there’s not always a solution in buying a new product or service. And it’s not always because Mom is “doing it wrong”.

  41. i had no idea that “babywearing” was in style-all i knew was that my sisters had baby carriers for their kids, an i should register for one. i’m so glad that i have my Lascal because the back support is great, and even though eventually it does wear on my shoulders a bit, it’s allowed me to go grocery shopping scream-free, and even see a movie in a theatre!!! granted, i was standing for most of it, but my son was quiet and beggars can’t be choosers.

  42. to piggyback on mazlynn’s response, i also took a postpartum exercise class with a physiotherapist who said that wrist pain could stem from how much strain moms put on their wrists from the added weight while curling them inwards to carry their babies. she suggested keeping your forearms and wrists straight (don’t bend your wrists)–sounds funny, but it’s doable to hold your baby this way. i followed her advice as soon as i noticed my wrists starting to hurt. i also tacked on some gentle wrist exercises like bending them back and forth gently against the wall for a count of 5 and wrist circles. i had horrible wrist pain before taking this advice and there’s nothing worse than being woken up every hour to feed your screaming child and you find that you can even lift him out of his bassinet because your wrists are on fire with pain.oh the joys of new motherhood… ๐Ÿ˜‰
    also a good middle back “stretch” is to back up against the wall or lie on your back or back2back with a partner and put your arms up , bent at elbows, in a football goalpost type manner and just relax and pull your shoulderblades down. if you’re with a partner, clasp hands palm2palm and enjoy a gentle stretch.
    hope that helps!

  43. Hold on, I haven’t called anyone a liar or delusional yet. I just don’t wish people to waste $ on sugar pills when they could spend that money on more delicious sugar, like gummy bears. Or hershey kisses. They taste better and work just as well.

  44. fwiw, we found it was possible to put Mouse facing outward in the bjorn at a very young age (6 weeks) if we placed a folded cloth diaper behind her head for extra support. Since the result of any inward-facing carry, sling, or (later) backpack was inconsolable howling, that worked for us. Never bought an ergo because inward was the only option. When she got too big for the bjorn, we just carried her or shouldered her if she needed it. I used a sling a little bit when she was between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2, for commuting on rainy days when I needed my second hand for an umbrella rather than a walking toddler, but it was uncomfortable for both of us–bit into my shoulder and Mouse’s thighs. No more than a 1/2 mile of that, thank you very much.

  45. @Meagan – Thank you for clarifying in your second comment. I get what you’re saying, and believe you when you say you’ve tried all you can and yet nothing is pain-free. What Mom2Boys said is spot on, too.

  46. Just wanted to add to the wrist pain comments: I didn’t have wrist pain so much, but definite pain and swelling in my hands/fingers (and maybe some wrist issues too, I can’t even remember). I was also having an awful time BF’ing and figuring out how to get my son to do a good latch, gritting my teeth thru nipple pain, etc., so it took me a while to notice that I was also, while supporting his head as he nursed, keeping my hand between his head and my beloved My Brest Friend nursing pillow. Obviously his weighty little head was putting a lot of pressure on my hand joints, so once I got him well latched I would move my hand out from under his head and flex it a little to get the blood moving. This seemed to help. It did take a few weeks, maybe longer, before the pain went away, sorry. But it did, and the BF issues worked out too. Take heart, new moms! You can do it!

  47. They work just as well for *you*. Trust me–I was chugging sugar like water and it didn’t do anything for the pain. Two Rhus toxicodendrons and the inflammation was gone. 10 days of the Rhus toxicodendron and I didn’t even remember which arm had had the pain.Meagan, what kind of pain are you talking about? “Normal” wear and tear and regular pain from parenting is one thing. But I just can’t imagine doing something repeatedly that meant you needed to take pain relievers on a regular basis to deal with it (barring chronic conditions, I mean). I don’t mean that in a “what are you, nuts” kind of way, but a “give yourself permission to be kind to yourself” kind of way. Maybe the key phrase is “it works for me.” Having the kind of pain that made me need to take pain relievers regularly just wouldn’t be something that would work for me. But if it’s fine for you, then maybe you just have a different place on the smiley-face scale than I do.

  48. Wow. I think we may be taking some of the anger that should be directed towards the makers of Motrin and directing it at each other here. Who would have thought that the subject of occasional back/hip/shoulder pain from babywearing would have such backlash.Moxie, I don’t think you fully read Meagan’s post. She DID say that she tried different slings, positions, etc, and that they still sometimes didn’t work for her. I think your response to her was a little harsh and dismissive of her position. I actually think it was funny that your response to Doesn’t Believe in Magic’s post was more respectful, considering the tone of the two original comments.

  49. Ah, wait!I’m saying “if it hurts, you’re doing it wrong” but meaning “you shouldn’t have to be in pain.” You’re hearing “There’s something wrong with you because you’re letting yourself be in pain.” Which is so not my intention. I just don’t want anyone to think pain is their lot.

  50. Just a quick comment on general rather than localised aches and pains post partum. For six months after the birth of my daughter, every joint ached, back, wrists, hips, knees, elbows – everywhere. I finally went to the doctor after putting up with it, and discovered that my iron levels were very low. With the way they measure iron here, a normal count is between 20 and 200 and I was 7! It took a couple of months of heavy duty iron tablets to put it right and the crushing tiredness lifted as well as the joint aches. So, do check your iron levels if nothing else seems to be working.We used a wrap sling at first but it always took 2 of us to fix it safely. We then progressed to an Ergo, which my husband loves and I’ve invested in a third sling for when baba no: 2 arrives.

  51. I used a Bjorn with both my kids and never found it comfortable, although my daughter loved being carried around in it, but there was absolultely no way I was going to try another brand if it meant having to spend the money. I don’t know about there in the States, but I paid โ‚ฌ60 for mine, and that was a huge expense for us 4 years ago. Still is a lot of $$$ for us now. I would have prefered to invest my money somewhere else, rather than spend it on finding the perfect carrier.

  52. Meagan, I completely apologize for my tone. Maura is absolutely right that it was way too harsh. I certainly respect you for continuing to do something that hurts you because you feel it’s the right thing for your baby. But I feel very very strongly that women should not, NOT ever be made to feel like they need to “tough something out” because it’s good for the baby. Someone should always be helping them to find an alternative that causes less pain, or helping them to deal with the pain, or coming up with some alternative.There is pain–lots of pain–involved in parenting. But that doesn’t mean that we just accept it and don’t advocate for ourselves and each other. And the first step to that is knowing that pain (real pain that makes you cry) is a sign there’s something off about the process.

  53. @Doesn’t believe in magic- even if the reason that the homeopathic remedies work is the placebo effect (i.e., their actual ingredients do not matter), replacing them with M&Ms will not work as well. For the placebo effect to work, the person taking the medicine has to really believe that they are getting an effective medicine, and I doubt anyone here would be able to convince themselves that this was true of M&Ms or gummy bears.Now, I’m not saying that homeopathy only works due to the placebo effect. I don’t know, and haven’t ever taken the time to look at the literature on it. I was interested to learn recently that the head of preclinical sciences at my current job takes homeopathic remedies, and he spends his days looking at data about whether or not the (non-homeopathic) remedies we are developing work.
    I figure that if it works, it doesn’t really matter to the person taking the medicine whether it works because of the active ingredients or the placebo effect.
    As for wrist pain in general- I have a computer related repetitive strain injury, and was nervous that would be aggravated by holding the baby. It wasn’t, I suspect because of the general loosening effect of pregnancy hormones. I also had an arsenal of stretches/exercises I could do whenever I felt a twinge. Anyone having problems could probably find these online, or you could ask your doctor about them. Just don’t ignore the pain- these sorts of injuries can become chronic if ignored (this is what happened to me).
    Finally, about baby wearing- Pumpkin never cared much for any carrier that had her facing in, even when she was tiny. She wanted to see what was going on, I guess. I had a ring sling that she would consent to if she could face out, and she loooooved the Baby Bjorn. The Baby Bjorn was also the only thing Hubby would wear her in, but he wore it often.

  54. I’m not talking about chronic, every-day pain…at least not for me. More like, every now and then when I wore my ginormous floppy newborns or ginormous toddlers on my chest for longer than usual, I’d be sore enough to consider popping a pill. I think what I’m getting at is a) the idea that motherhood can be painful could have been an effective marketing tool if done correctly and b)it’s simply not true to insist that if something is done “right” it’ll necessarily be pain-free and it gets annoying to hear it over and over again, spoken as if the gospel truth. I think being honest about it is more helpful: sure, once in a while motherhood (and all the stuff that goes with it) is painful! BUT, we do (fill in the blank) anyway because it’s worth it to us (for whatever reason). As for doing what works for me–well yes, that’s exactly what I do.My SIL has size J breasts (yes, you read that right–J!!!) and her version of “normal” is being in some amount of upper-back pain most of the time. Yet she wears her baby a lot (and yes, that exacerbates the pain) because she likes the convenience, ease and closeness. She isn’t a martyr (and neither am I though I know my pain is probably a lot less than hers)…she just recognizes there’s a tradeoff and it’s worth it to her.
    I think it’s too bad Motrin flubbed the tone so much with this ad, but as somebody who enjoys and supports babywearing I wouldn’t have any problem with the suggestion that sometimes carrying a baby around all day (whether it’s in your arms, on your back or on your front) can make a gal want to reach for a bottle of one type or another.

  55. I would agree that I suffer no pain the majority of the time that I wear my daughter in the Ergo. On a typical trip–say yesterday when I wore her around a museum for three hours–I had to switch from hip to hip and then to my front. When it was over, any strain, pain, or tiredness was lifted when I lifted her out to put her in the car. And I wasn’t in much discomfort anyway for the first two and a half hours. If I had been, I would have handed her off to her dad or put her in a stroller. I’m definitely no martyr for pain.However, though I am well aware of my limitations, I sometimes forget them. For instance, I contributed to a major tension headache because I wore her on my hip when I had a little headache. My shoulders were sore then, but it didn’t occur to me not to wear her–I just wanted to pick up the mail. Oops. I’ve also learned not to push my older daughter in a stroller while wearing the younger. I’m just not physically strong enough to do it for more than a few feet without hurting myself.
    Frankly, I think babywearing (when the baby enjoys it) is AWESOME. Convenient and freeing. But it’s only fleeting, as I know that she’ll eventually get too heavy. And if I figure out she’s too heavy too late in the game–please bring me some Advil (and remind me to do some crunches!).
    So I guess I’m saying that I understand why the Motrin makers made the ad. But I think they made a really crappy, patronizing, and demoralizing ad. There’s no need to make fun of us for wearing our babies.

  56. Moxie, I think I must be a wimp–I consider the painkillers wayyy before I get to the ‘crying’ stage (though yeah, I know that was implied in the ad).Thanks for clarifying and the apology, btw.

  57. Cobblestone ~ It sounds like you have tendinitis. I have it and the pain sounds just like what you described. Go see an orthopedic doctor. Tendinitis is common for moms, either from the shifting fluid levels of pregnancy, or from daily baby care.I am wondering if Rhus Toxicodendron will work for tendinitis. The shot and brace did not get rid of mine and the next step is a slice and dice.

  58. The Motrin ad – it’s so bad it reminds me of the SNL spoof of the Seasonale pill (hold on to your fing hat!) 221774On the subject of carriers, anyone got a recommendation for a less-heatstroke-inducing sling – baby thinks ring sling is evil, but Moby and Bjorn are good, and she can fling herself out of the Hotsling, so I think I’m looking at an Ergo or Mei Tai. But it is 90 degrees here on Nov 17 and I’m sick of being hot.

  59. Meagan, I, too, have J size breasts, so after about 2.5 seconds in a carrier, my shoulders are done. ESPECIALLY when I wear the Ergo in the back carry. It is just way too much on my poor shoulders. I still do it when Im out and it’s convenient, but only if the space is too small for a stroller. I do not have this problem if I am not wearing a bra, though, so at least at home I can sling with ease, haha.

  60. I’m late to the party, but I just want to say that I viewed the Motrin ad and it really really irked me. It’s such a deflating feeling to have the curtain drop and see what mainstream western society really thinks of moms, babies, parenting. Among other things, this ad is sending a message that babies are just so darn inconvenient. Oh sheesh, I guess I shouldn’t have had one, I got foxed there too. Stupid me. ;)Anyway this comes from a committed and enthusiastic babywearer — babywearing has been a wonderful tool for me and also a great joy. I love having my baby (5 months) close and at peace; it just feels right for us. I wasn’t born with the knowledge and skills of babywearing, I had to acquire them and there’s a wonderful community out there to help — and it’s actually become fun too. I agree that discomfort can truly be minimized by finding the techniques and carriers that work best for you. (Check out I have more carriers than I “need” — from wraps and slings to asian-inspired carriers to structured carriers like the Ergo — and that’s because it’s a really joyous thing for me and I know it won’t last forever so I want to enjoy every minute. And — in terms of body ergonomics, a huge bonus in my opinion is that I haven’t taken the car seat out of the car since my son was 3 weeks old.

  61. Totally a tangent, but is there a reason no one uses the word “homeopathic” accurately anymore? It isn’t just you guys at all, so nothing personal, this is just a place where I can finally vent about it.hoยทmeยทopยทaยทthy
    : a system of medical practice that treats a disease especially by the administration of minute doses of a remedy that would in healthy persons produce symptoms similar to those of the disease
    You know, homeo = same. It’s like an immunization.
    I think you mean “naturopathy,” and I am using this site to start my crusade! Lead by example, please! ๐Ÿ™‚
    p.s. That ad is atrocious!

  62. Anon, Rhus toxicodendron is a homeopathic remedy. I get Boiron brand. pediatrician is fully trained in homeopathy. He is not a naturopath.
    I agree that it’s annoying when people talk about herbals etc. as “homeopathic,” but I do specifically mean homeopathic here.
    Foster, my symptoms were a hot, inflamed creaky kind of pain and my range of motion was decreasing daily. It definitely felt like it was in the tendons, not the muscles. Rhus tox is cheap and it wouldn’t hurt to try it.
    Jenn, why did the high heels ad have anything to do with being a mom? That just irks me.

  63. I managed to see 3 of those ads driving into town last Thursday and WOW did I hate them immediately. Glad I wasn’t the only one and even gladder to hear maybe the company took complaints seriously.And yay for carriers, but only if your baby wants to be worn, too, right? I might love baby wearing (i do!), and my baby, hey, might have a different idea of comfy (he does!).

  64. @Foster- before surgery for your tendinitis, see if you can try physical therapy. When my injury flares up, one set of symptoms is a lot like tendinitis. I’ve always been able to get things back under control with physical therapy. Yoga helps me maintain.You have to find a good physical therapist, though. I had a not so good one during one of my bouts, and it didn’t help at all. I switched to a different therapist, and was better within weeks.
    I don’t think the surgeries have very high success rates, so I am in absolutely no hurry to try that.
    Several people have recommended acupuncture to me, too. I haven’t tried it mostly because the PT is covered by worker’s comp (this was a work-related injury) and acupuncture isn’t.

  65. Moxie, should have looked it up before I ranted. Then again, if it gets one person to use it correctly, I’m glad I did.I’d say I’m boycotting Motrin but who am I kidding? I always buy generic anyway.

  66. Wow. I took two Motrin this morning not because babywearing was causing me pain but because I did a Flow class yesterday and I think I may have overdone it at the gym on Saturday.I wore both my kids – the first was a colicky nightmare and the only way to get him to sleep was to wear him in the bjorn and bounce on an exercise ball like a madwoman. Never had any back pain from that – just the emotional pain of mild PPD and a baby that you can’t soothe.
    Like a couple of other posters – I was totally unprepared for how many aches and pains I had in the early months. I swear when I came home from the hospital with #1 I felt like I had been run over by a truck. And then the upper back soreness and arm soreness from nursing set in…I lived on Motrin (who knows if it was okay for me while BF, my OB told me to take it and I did – it was the only thing that seemed to help and I was too dumb to question him – then).
    With baby #2 I had a home birth and you know what – NO PAIN. None. Not one tiny ache after labor was over. No tears, no stitches – nada. We used homeopathy during labor (black cohosh to help cx pick up – and boy did they!) and people can say what they will about natural remedies – my pain free and PPD-free recovery from my daughter’s birth is proof enough for me to stick with nature as much as possible.
    With baby #2 I got a Hotsling and I loved that thing! I have never been very adept at the wraps – we got a ring sling with #1 and trying to figure that thing out while said baby was screaming in the crib and husband was laughing hysterically just didn’t work for me. Hotsling was easy to throw in my purse/diaper bag (which is the size of an 18 wheeler) and use at the store, events, etc. I never had any pain from that either.
    I do think it is funny and somewhat sad how whenever one of these stories come up we moms, who are trying to raise our children to be non-judgmental, respectful, kind individuals lash out at each other like high school girls in a bathroom. Ouch.

  67. Well, I’m happy to hear I’m not the only one around here who has whopper babies – 9lbs 10 and then 10lbs 4 – and both girls.I was shocked in the early weeks (actually months!) after the birth of my first baby at how many other aches and pains I had that weren’t directly from giving birth – my knees could barely make it down the stairs they were so stiff.
    I’ve found homeopathic remedies to be fabulous. I’ve used them in the past, under the recommendations of a homeopath, for migraines and anxiety and both times it has helped. Plus the Hylands teething tablets have been great for my 16 month old, 16 toothed youngest. Also, I just want to put in a shout out for acupuncture – that even helped me to get on a plane without having to be sedated to the point of delirium!
    I could never get the hang (excuse the pun) of baby carriers myself. I wanted to, especially with the second baby, oh to have both hands free, but never managed to get beyond the backache of the Bjorn or the shoulder and neck pain with a sling. However they both happily dangled on daddy’s front at weekends in the early months.

  68. Moxie, I’m so glad you apologized to Meagan. I was beginning to wonder about you with the long absence, and then with today’s string of comments of a tone that is honestly so very unlike the Moxie we’ve come to know and love. If you need another break from Ask Moxie, please take one. You don’t have to be Superwoman!

  69. I also got DeQuervain’s postpartum. Between pregnancy hormones loosening ligaments and suddenly doing a lifting up motion with your wrist countless times a day, there’s a reason why it’s called “Mother’s Wrist.”
    I did months of physical therapy and wearing custom splints and was still in agony. One quick shot of cortisone and I was a new woman! If have another kid and get it again, I’ll give the naturopathic medicine a try, but I won’t hesitate to go get the cortisone if that or physical therapy doesn’t work right away. There’s a risk to getting multiple injections, but just one dose did it for me, and I was practically incapacitated by the time I got the shot. I’m telling you, ladies, that cortisone stuff can be a miraculous lifesaving godsend.

  70. My older kid was tiny at birth and then ballooned into one of those extra-chubby babies causing a lot of pain in my non-dominant wrist. My doc prescribed a splint that immobilized my thumb, which worked beautifully, especially if I wore the splint at night. My younger kid wasn’t quite as chubby and I had no wrist pain with her.I used a ring sling with the older kid and a Hotsling with the younger, I liked both, but did get some mild shoulder pain. My sister recently had twins after months of bed rest and found that her atrophied muscles couldn’t handle even a five-pounder in a sling. But she recovered enough in a month or so that she now uses the sling all the time.

  71. I think people often run into pain when babywearing when they try to make one carrier work for all ages/body types/situations. Trying to use a Moby wrap for a 25 lb baby is a recipe for pain, but it’s an awesome solution for new babies. Hotslings are great, especially for small busted mamas with petite babies, but large busted women might need a different solution. As my daughter has gotten older, I’ve had to refine and change out my stash for things that work better with older & heavier babies and things that put up with constant up/down/up/down. I really recommend trying’s FSOT board, and trying a variety of carriers to see what works for you and your body type and your baby. Also the carriers which have worked best for me are WAHM carriers which are easier to find and learn about on thebabywearer–not everyone is going to love the Ergo & Hotsling & Moby.

  72. I will try the Rhus Toxicodendron stuff. I received both the cortisone shot and the thumb-imobilizing custom brace. I was supposed to wear the brace for three weeks. Although my wrist felt much better after the three weeks, it is not cured, and has gotten slowly but steadily worse since then. That is my journey so far ๐Ÿ™‚ I will ask the dr about PT when I eventually call them again.Eva, I dont know how people lug those seats around, either. Actually, I do know: it MUST be for convenience. DH and I decided that we did not want to carry dd around in a bucket seat. The commitment to using only a convertible seat sometimes does leave something to be desired, esp when you have to make a dozen stops w/ the car. Taking her in and out and in and out is a pita, but it has been worth it. Plus, it saved us money as we only had to buy one car seat ๐Ÿ˜€

  73. I have to say, now that I have finally seen the ad, I thought it was totally funny. It reminded me of one or two la-la fashionista Moms in our neighborhood.I get how the ad could be viewed as demeaning moms and making baby-wearers sound like idiots. But I have a live-and-let-laugh attitude about these things. Frankly, I think there is PLENTY of room for humor when it comes to motherhood. And, seriously, even though I loved taking my kids around in the Bijorn, and then a sling, I never called it “baby wearing.” Even that term seems funny to me…as if our kids are shirts or something.

  74. @Foster- since I know absolutely nothing about what caused your injury so you can ignore this comment as not relevant to you. But, for what is worth…My experience with a repetitive strain injury has been that physical therapy and drugs can help get me back to OK, and yoga can help me maintain health, but the most important thing by far was to figure out what motion was causing the problem and find a way to stop making that motion. At first this really sucked, because the problematic motion was related to using a computer. I work on a computer all day every day and was seriously freaked out at the thought of a forced career change. Then I broke the motion down, and realized that for me, the problem comes in pronating (turning my hand palm down). So I bought a fancy keyboard and mouse that let me use the computer without pronating. Now I can maintain reasonable health with just once/week yoga.
    I first injured myself in grad school (~10 years ago) and didn’t take it seriously. Now I have a chronic injury. I will never be “normal” again, but I can be OK. When things are bad, I am in enough pain to interfere with sleep, I can’t hold heavy items in my right hand, and I drop things a lot because my fine motor control is degraded. My OK state is having a little bit of pain if I work long hours and having my right arm feel tight all the time. It is like I always need to stretch, and no amount of stretching is enough.
    Anyway, maybe you can analyze the motion that is causing you problems and see if you can find a way to avoid it. A good physical therapist can help you figure things out, but my experience has been that only I could really figure it out, because only I knew exactly what caused the pain.

  75. @foster and Moxie, I had a nasty RSI tendinitis a few years ago and was successfully treated with ultrasound cortisone therapy and PT. Since it was work related I was able to self-refer to an actual hand therapy practice, which I recommend if you can do it.For me, tendon pain feels warm, strong, and does not have the give and take of muscle pain–it just sits there and hurts, constantly. Luckily I have flare-ups only rarely. Now if I would just stop straining my left pec picking up my 45-pound preschooler, that would be great!

  76. Doesn’t believe in magic – sceptic here but have learnt that homeopathy is one of “those” subjects where it is best not to go. I recommend for anyone looking at a proper analysis of the evidence or rather complete lack of.We dont have Motrin or their patronising ads here for which I am grateful.

  77. I learned to NEVER vaccum while wearing my son in the Bjorn. I almost died from the back pain.I think a lot of my discomfort with the Bjorn was due to how weak my core muscles are. Seriously, I am a big ol weakling. The Ergo carrier was a big improvement! We loved it.

  78. @caliboo – I’ve worn and made a few different types of baby carriers. I’ve seen ring slings made from mesh (advertised as useful for swimming and showering with baby). I bet it would be possible to make a mei tai carrier with some really strong mesh in lieu of the decorative front panel. If you can sew, or know someone who can, perhaps they could make one for you? I’ve used this free pattern (with slight modifications) and have been very happy with it: off-topic regarding size J breasts – I have size “I” so I have some experience here. Spending $80+ for a great bra has made a world of difference for my back aches. I wish I could buy those cute $14 bras in Target, but my breasts would be at my knees and my back and shoulders would be killing me!
    I’ve carried both of my children in ring slings, wraps, Bjorn, and mei tai. By the end of the day I might have an aching back, but as a PP said, repositioning helped considerably. Now my youngest is nearly three and refuses the carriers. ๐Ÿ™ I loved carrying my children.

  79. @caliboo – Oops – forgot to mention this, but if you decide to sew your own mei tai feel free to email me if you have questions: mamarobinwhite at yahoo dot com

  80. @ Eva & Foster – Yes, the infant car seat-lugging around is for convenience – for folks who need to be able to drive places with their babes, hopefully without unnecessarily waking them. We used the Graco Snugride infant carseat early on whenever we had to drive anywhere, and more often than not DS would fall asleep in it when he was under 5 months old. So being able to just take the carseat out of the car without disturbing the sleeping baby was a godsend. It snapped into a stroller base, shopping cart, or upside-down restaurant high chair, without waking the babe if we were lucky. Bonus! There were times DS would be asleep in the carseat, and we would actually be able to go out to eat as a family. (Oh those brief, fleeting moments of portability.) If only we had been within walking distance of restaurants & stores, we could have used a sling to port DS around everywhere. I’m envious of all of you urban dwellers who don’t absolutely need a car/taxi to get anywhere & can really use those slings & carriers to full advantage.

  81. The other great thing about the snap out carseat- it meant that we only had one for two cars (each car had a base, which was lots less expensive than another seat). Hubby would just leave the carseat at day care when he dropped Pumpkin off and I would pick it up with her. It sucked when we had to move up to a front facing car seat and had to buy two.But my god was that carseat heavy towards the end. I think ours weighed 12 lbs. Pumpkin was about 25 lbs when she got too tall to use it anymore. Amazingly, the thing was rated for use with a baby up to 35 lbs. I can’t imagine.

  82. I agree about the infant car seats. What a pain! We got them for our twins because we didn’t know any better. In retrospect it would have been better to go with the convertible seats. I can count on one hand the number of times babies were taken from the car asleep in the seat and stayed asleep for more than 10 minutes post car. To me that’s the main attraction of those seats. If they were awake when we arrived at our destination they were always taken out of the seat and carried in sling/bjorn/ergo/arms. We even bought a babytrend double stroller that the seats clip onto, and used it maybe 3 times. Mind you, we don’t do much driving, but if I did it over I’d get a portable single stroller and use that + a carrier for those few times I needed to port both boys in the car tendonitis and friends, I had it or something like it in my non-dominant hand from picking up and putting down babies, and was in a lot of pain. What helped, as Cloud mentioned, was to really focus on what I was doing that was causing the pain. For me, holding the babies in my upper arms, which was a little awkward, and trying not to rotate my wrist, cleared it up within days.

  83. Spam Alert!I swear I don’t work for these folks, but since we are on the topic there’s an incredible deal on the Beco Carrier at mamabargains dot com right now. $24.50 for the Obi Carrier. (The deals change often, in case you go there and it’s gone.)
    I am also a HUGE proponent of using “homeopathic” correctly, so I was excited to see that post, even if it didn’t apply here.

  84. Wow. I just feel like posting to express my immense gratitude to the babywearing group that shows up every month at my local library. My husband and I went there when our daughter was 2 weeks old (and she was 9 lb) and they had lots of different slings for us to try, showed us how to wear them, even loaned us two to take home so we could figure out what we liked best before purchasing. They were a great resource, now I feel like I should give something back to the group, somehow.We ended up with a mei tai when she was little (even though an old lady at church told us she thought it would hurt the baby’s spine) so we could balance her weight on both shoulders AND keep her little legs in. Later she graduated to the Ergo which we all love- though (confession time) I refuse to wear her on my back outside of the house or our yard- the fat bulge and boobs out to the moon with the way the straps are configured when she’s on my back are just too ridiculous. I feel like a milk monster as it is.
    Also just wanted to say: all the books (including LLL!) that said “If breastfeeding hurts, you’re doing it wrong” made me want to strangle somebody during the first 3 weeks (they don’t seem to allow for the time it takes to get used to it) but really helped me realize something was wrong, and I had thrush, later on at 12 months.
    That SNL link made me cry real tears, I laughed soooo hard.

  85. These comments are so helpful because I endured incredible pain with my first child pretty much all over my body, but mostly in my back. First of all, pushing for four hours while holding my legs back made me feel exactly like a truck had run over me (like Michelle said), but then I got a great massage that helped ease the pain. However, the next pain issue was related to breastfeeding because I had to hunch my shoulders down to my baby while she was curled around me on a Boppy or on Mybreastfriend. That odd breastfeed-hunch was one thing I could never figure out so I endured the neck stiffness for the 11 months of breastfeeding.Then, I had lots of shoulder and back pain from constantly having to wear my baby. I had a sling when she was very small which worked nicely for her and it was easy to get her in and out of, but it hurt my shoulders. The Moby was a great choice for the back pain, but it only worked for so long since after a while kids are more interested in the world than in staring at your chest. Finally we ended up with the Ergo which was wonderful for a while too.
    I don’t remember ever taking any painkillers for the pain, but I do remember getting massages here and there. If you can afford it, I would recommend that option over taking painkillers, but I know it’s not realistic for everyone.
    With baby #2 nearly on our “doorstep” I am actually looking forward to exchanging my pregnant pains for the “taking-care-of another-human-being-round-the-clock-pains.” I’m probably nuts.

  86. @Meagan, I’m so totally with you. Actually I think Jennifer may have said it best, “discomfort can truly be minimized.” Right. It can. But comfort achieved? Not so much. In fairness, I’m looking for a carrier that (a) renders my baby weightless, (b) snaps or slips on and off me in an instant, (c) allows me to pop baby in and out in an instant (d) holds my baby close (in a variety of positions) but is fully ventilated for those hot summer days, and (e) costs under $50 … for pete’s sake, it’s just some fabric, padding, and snaps. On a positive note, I’m quite indifferent to whether it (f) is attractive or not. However ideally it would (g) last from infanthood through toddlerhood, since there’s little I seek more avidly to avoid than setting foot in a retail establishment.You laugh, but what I want to see is the sport of extreme babywearing. I think it would result in much better products being available for the rest of us. Forget vacuuming; I want something you can safely rappel in (while the baby nurses). I’ll still rely on generics, though, to ease the pain from the rappelling (disclaimer … no, I’m not *really* advocating rappelling with your baby strapped to you, but wouldn’t it be nice if someone would put the thought into coming up with a carrier safe enough, comfortable enough, and easy enough to use that you could?).

  87. @Margot: Thanks so much for your input and info. I’m going to make an appointment with an osteopath tomorrow.@ everyone who says their DH will only wear the bjorn: Too funny as my DH will only wear the ring sling as he finds the bjorn too yuppie looking ;). I however, love it for the simplicity of putting the little guy in.

  88. My Ergo was in the wash a couple of weeks ago, and I had to put the 8 monther in the Bjorn (which I DO, for the record, prefer for tiny newborns) and my back was wrecked in 30 minutes or so. I’m in love with the Ergo. Slings just never worked for me all that well.Although I agree that the Ergo straps can make for some unsightly bulges. This morning I was completely ready to leave when I realized that my shirt and pants combo didn’t leave quite enough overlap for Ergo safety, and ran upstairs for a longer top.
    Ooh, and the fact that the Ergo has a POCKET in it is genius. Baby, wallet and phone are all safe, especially at the playground when you’re tending to the elder.

  89. White you are not alone, we breed them big also. I had a 9lb 6 (girl) and then…cross your legs… an 11lb 1 (boy)…keep them crossed… I did deliver naturally, no time for pain relief…I could not live without my chiro, my bjorn active or the exercise ball for either of them! Michelle, imagine my delight when Poppy decided to bounce bub a little too close to the corner of the coffee table and burst our ball- THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!!
    Am considering an osteopath for my 8mo boy for digestive system related sleep issues, as much as I LOVE my chiro I am not sure how I feel about it on little ones…anyone???

  90. My doctor is a DO and I love him. We did not set out to find one, it just happened.Post pregnancy aches…for me it ended up being fibromyalgia, yuck! Pregnancy is one time I feel great but I can’t have that many kids or be pregnant forever.
    @Caliboo, I have one BabyHawk and another on order. Expensive but so worth it. My son has been in it since he was 1.5 days old.
    Busty…I wear a G/H so I know how it goes. I like how the Moby hides my bust more than other carriers.
    DH will wear a carrier, just not my current BH because it is orange. He’s got more fashion issues than many women I know *lol*
    @Elle, I have had one CST done on my son and hope to have another in a week. It has eased his gas issues immensely.

  91. I absolutely love my ergo, but I really enjoy wearing my baby in front — facing in towards me — even at 8 1/2 months. Is this wrong? I know it says that front carry is best until 6 months but I really like being able to watch him and see his reactions to things. It’s funny, Ive really been worried about this recently, I’m hoping one of you lovely people can enlighten me. Thanks.

  92. @Kirsten, if pregnancy helps the fibromyalgia, what does hormone therapy do? I’d think your doc could prescribe a mix of hormones to mimic pregnancy. Or are the side effects too bad?@Ari, I’m no expert, but I’d say if you and your baby like that configuration, why not keeping using it?

  93. The very sad thing about where I live is that I am *just* barely inside the city limits, so I live in the city but still need a car to go everywhere. And my areas major suburban shopping zone is piece built upon piece over many many years, so you need to drive to Target, then back in the car to drive to the book store, then back in the car to drive to Best Buy, then back in the car to drive to toysaurus, then back in the car to drive to the mall, ARGH!!!! Literally, you get in the car to drive for one minute to the next shopping alcove. No, you cannot walk, no sidewalks and too dangerous w/ a baby. Horrible. This means that even when dd falls asleep, we unstrap her and carry her. Six months in, and this has yet to be a problem. I would still rather wake her than carry a bucket seat. We also only needed one seat as dh drives a 2-door car, HAHA. We are about to get a new car, but already bought a second car seat a while ago for foster kids, so it’s all good. I consider starting w/ a convertible to be a better deal anyway, even if you have to buy two, because if you start w/ an infant seat, you still need to buy a convertible later. This means you will buy one infant seat, one extra car base, and two convertibles, whereas I only had to buy two convertibles. That saves a lot of money. On a side note, even though EVERYONE does it, you are not supposed to put infant car seats on shopping carts or high chairs. It is a falling risk & the reason Chicco makes theirs to not fit.About the bras, trust me, I have an excellent nursing bra that fits me perfectly. I bought it from a specialty store and everything. The unavoidable problem is that the booby weight has to be supported somehow, and that task falls largely on the shoulders. My boobs are *heavy* so there is not much I can do until Im done having children ;D Does anyone else with large breasts see the unfairness of bra pricing? My bras wear out pretty quickly and I usually buy new ones every six months. I have friends w/ lil boobies who have had the same bras for at least 10 years. Someone please tell me, then, why the lil bras are $20 a piece, and mine are $60!

  94. I have always had back pain to a greater or lesser extent, and sometimes it means I have painkillers with my vitimins at breakfast time. That’s the way life is for me. When my son was little it was worse than it’s ever been and my acupuncturist and my osteopath/chiroprac both said that they could help a bit but basically the work of being with my baby was such that I was going to have to just deal. I wore my son (because he screamed when I wasn’t wearing him) in a pouch sling and the Bjorn (the ‘Active’ which is *heaps* better than the old ones for most backs).I’m now 8 weeks pregnant and I’m hurting really badly again. I figure that’s just the way things are going to be for me. It’s very tiring and it makes me pretty cranky!

  95. @ Ari: as far as I remember, I carried my little boy in our Ergo on the front, facing me, until he was over a year old. And even after we went to mostly back carries, I still carried him on the front occasionally (for short distances) if he seemed upset or uncomfortable for some reason. I’m like you — I liked to be able to see him and talk to him about what we were seeing/doing — and he seems to like it too. He’s a skinnymalink though (he’s nearly 2 and about 23 pounds, so was much lighter than that a year ago), so that made it easier on my back to carry on with the front carry, but I’d say if you aren’t in any discomfort, and you and your baby like the front and inward-facing carry, then go for it. Oh, and the Ergo website has this to say:”The ERGObaby carrier is designed in compliance with the recommendations of Dr. Evelin Kirkilionis, and SHOULD NEVER BE WORN WITH THE BABY FACING OUT. According to Kirkilionis:”Infants in outward-facing orientations canโ€™t turn away from surrounding stimuli. They can’t turn inward toward a parent’s body if stimuli become overwhelming. In this position the baby cannot make eye contact with his or her parent to evaluate facial expressions, social cues, and so forth to make assessment of the situation. Only choose a baby carrier that allows your child to face you … never out. There are too many events going on around your baby. A baby has no way to exclude himself from the environment by turning his head away and towards you. Healthy sleep is difficult for a baby who is facing outward. I am not a supporter of the outward facing method of carrying a child.””
    That’s a little harsh on those parents/babies who do actually like an outward-facing carry, but it gives you good reasons why you and your baby might enjoy the face-to-face carry. I know I miss it now that my little boy is too heavy to carry for long periods on the front.

  96. We got a different style of Bjorn and never had pain until the little man wasn’t so little anymore. We got the one that had lumbar support (it has more of a full back on it-not the little “x” thing) and it made a HUGE difference. Had I known about wraps and slings, I might have tried them but only really had access to Bjorns and wannabe Bjorns (which we tried first due to cost but was soooo tricky to get the little man out of that he just screamed and screamed every time we tried to use it).

  97. OK, I really wonder if people are reading things into my tone that I didn’t intend at all. Meagan said I was being dismissive. And I responded with this:”Hey, Meagan, what if you bought a pair of running shoes and they really hurt your feet? Would you just accept that and keep running until you needed to take pain relievers? Or would you look for a different kind of shoes, ones that fit your feet better? Why is it OK to say “just tough it out” with a babywearing device when they’re not all made the same and the one you have may just not fit you very well?”
    I know I should just let it go, but I honestly did not intend to be harsh at all. I intended to bring up a parallel but much less charged situation and make my point, which is that pain happens but it’s not your fault–it’s equipment failure.
    I really don’t want to feel this way, but my feelings are a little hurt that after all the posts I’ve done on how breastfeeding can hurt but there’s a difference between getting used to it and something being wrong, etc. you guys were so ready to assume I was being nasty to Meagan.

  98. Moxie, I’m really sorry your feelings are hurt. May I explain what I think might be the perception about your comments yesterday & invite others to provide caring feedback to you as well?It wasn’t that you were being “nasty” to Meagan – nasty is too strong a word – it was the surprising difference in the tone of your response to Meagan’s innocuous comment versus that of the tone you used with the person who left what I thought to be a rudely-worded, snarky comment about eating M&Ms. So I heard your response to Meagan as invalidating, like you didn’t actually believe she had tried everything but still felt pain, that’s all. IMHO, your comment came across as exasperated by Meagan’s pain instead of supportive.
    No worries, Moxie – I for one still worship the ground you post on!

  99. Moxie, I second hush on the worship. “Moxie says” is a regular mantra around our house.And I winced a bit when I read your responce to Meagan. To me, your comparison sounded flip, not like a less-charged parallel. Like, “would you do this? Of course you wouldn’t, unless you are a total idiot!”
    I know that wasn’t what you were saying AT ALL, but your passion about not accepting pain as our lot as mothers translated as judgement at first. I am in Meagan’s situation–carrying my baby, even in the most fabulous carrier, hurts after a while. I have scoliosis, my infant was colicky and only happy in the Moby, and she was fairly heavy. That added up to pain–less pain than holding her in arms, and less pain for her–but some level of consistent (manageable) pain for me nonetheless.
    I am completely on board with not being a martyr, but in my experience, having a child involves some level of sacrifice–even pain–emotionally, physically, socially, in even the best-equipped parent. The rewards are incredible, but it can be a painful slog at times…
    Thank you for giving us the knowledge and support to make it less so. You are tackling a touchy subject, this parenting thing, every day. You are bound to be misread occasionally, and I admire your ability to clarify with sensitivity and tact, to respond with reason and thought, to support without strings attached. I think in some ways you are cursed by our high, high expectations of you. And the incredible thing is that even in not living up to them, you do.

  100. I feel like something has shifted on this site — it used to be a ‘feel good’ place where people could laugh, cry, vent, and support one another and walk away feeling validated and reinvigorated for another day of motherhood. In recent weeks it seems a lot more hostile, like people’s feelings are being hurt on an increasingly regular basis. Does anyone else feel this? If so, is there anything we can do to return to a softer place? This, during my two first years of motherhood, was my soft place to fall. Now I browse and feel, I dunno, a little yucky, like the tone’s a little harsher than need be. Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe the community’s changed. Maybe it’s something in the seasons… ๐Ÿ˜‰ Any thoughts?

  101. Well, Suki, I dont know about everyone else, but I, for one, actually come here LESS now that I have a baby. Mainly this is because I feel confident that I am a good mother & do not currently have any problems that havent already been covered by past questions. Im also becoming less and less interested in hearing what other people think I should do or assume I already do (or dont do) as a mother. It is not going to help anyone else out if I come around here w/ my parenting snark (&, really, I hold my tongue here *A LOT*). Maybe everyone is more comfortable w/ being here now after all this time that we feel we can afford to show a bit of our not-as-nices?

  102. @Suki, there’s a bit more clipped-ness in the tone, perhaps. But whether that is because everyone is overworked, or the sun is receding and we all need more vitamin D (at least us northern hemisphere folks), or what, I’m not sure. And hey, I haven’t been taking up scads of space distracting from the chatter with posts that go on for 12 paragraphs, so people can take time to think before responding while trying to figure out if they should really read the endless content I stuck in there … heh. Yes, slight shift in tone, but it feels seasonal to me.@Foster, I was a 32J the last time around. You probably already know this stuff, but I’ll spell it out for anyone who doesn’t: The place I went to get fitted said the weight should be held mostly on the chest band, not the shoulders (or rather, distributed through both areas). If the band hitches up AT ALL in the back, then you’ll end up with back and shoulder pain, and the way the straps join the band will affect how it feels – so your bra may fit properly, but could still be the wrong design for your body shape, based on the angle of the bands, how the cups sit on the chest band, etc. It can take me a couple hours to find one that suits me, since I have a tall and (relatively) slim frame, with very VERY high set bbs, that happen to also be large, and medium-broad shoulders. If I was slim and narrow, or broad-shouldered and low-set, or some other configuration, I’d fit more easily. I was astonished at the difference of getting the right total design/layout for my body – and also at the difference in getting an underwire that was made properly (where the wire lies flat against the middle of your armpit area on the side, and only serves as a frame for the fabric, not for the bbs themselves). Anyway, while I had many properly *sized* nursing bras, the french (‘Le Mystere’) brand were the only ones that really *fit* properly. Therefore the most comfortable from back and shoulder perspective. Unfortunately, they took two hands to close, sometimes.
    And ditto on the ‘how come those bras cost so much?’ – now that I’m down to a DD cup, I’m able to buy the cheap ones again (still takes me two hours to find the right design, though).
    ALL that said, if I hunched at all, or my straps slipped longer, or I didn’t move absolutely perfectly with a carrier on, I could end up in a deep long ache for a while. Add in that I’m hypermobile (stretchy collagen) and carrying kids – while great – could also generate a fair bit of joint, back, and muscle pain. It just does, for me. And I just keep doing it anyway, because it works.
    @calliboo – I made a mei tai of mid-weight cotton canvas lined with terry. Used that in hot sweaty summertime a lot. Have even used it with Miss M, recently, and she’s a preschooler. I used the instructions linked at, I think.
    Also ditto all the comments about the baby chooses what they like. BUT, note for anyone whose baby dislikes being carried in slings and such, and tying into the chiropractic or cranial sacral or osteopathy questions, Mr G hated the sling, pretty much. We later found out he was really torqued around, spine-wise (way later), and I bet he’d have been more comfy in the sling and out of it if he’d been aligned right to start with. (His symptoms were very active sleep, snoring, and sweating while sleeping – all of which went away when he was finally straightened out at four years old.). If you think it might be an issue, it might also help. Flip side, Mr B started chiropractic at about 2 months old, and he was still a ‘down baby’ – loved the sling, but really preferred to explore whenever possible. We use a chiropractor who trained specially for pediatrics, which has some different techniques.
    We also used slings and strollers for the twins issue. I always had a sling on me, and would swap the girls in and out of the sling, to and from the stroller. I occasionally double-slung them (two slings, not two in one sling) when they were quite small, and used to nurse them tandem in public using two slings – awkwardly, but could do it. Our family doc still thinks that’s the coolest thing he’s ever seen. BUT, they were amenable to that for only so long, and then it was one at a time, and then it was one back carry one hip, and then it was one back one front, then back to only one at a time again, then backpacks not slings, then back to hip carry in sling, meanwhile alternating someone in and out of strollers. Ever-changing, based on what was working. Love the really good Kelty backpacks. They rock, buy them on sale, though. Ouchies for price, comfy for the body (weight is carried on the hips, the shoulder straps only serve to hold it against your body – NO weight carried on shoulders when they’re fitted right!).
    I’m generally used to pain, because of the hypermobility. I also had a lot of pain with breastfeeding – and so I’d personally tweak the statement to ‘if it hurts, something isn’t perfect, but it also might not be something you can fix or that you need to fix; check and find out, then proceed from there’ – for me, first go, Mr G had a too-firm latch. Clamp-like. Ouch. It was well-set, but too hard. If I had known to find an oral behaviorist (if I could find one at all), it might have been helped – he had an oral aversion, though he had a fine position of latch. But … no knowledge, and everyone told me it would just get better around 6 weeks, which it did. The next two times, though, I discovered that I’m one of the 10% of moms who have an inflammatory response to lactation starting. So I got hot, tender, and swollen badly for the first two weeks the next two goes with breastfeeding. And I mean ‘tender’ like ‘feels like every milk duct is being sliced open end-to-end with each letdown’. Freaking *agonizing*. Not thrush, not bad latch, ‘just’ inflammatory reaction. Lucky me!
    Fortunately, ibuprophin works for me, worked for the kids (if any got to them at all), and made it only ‘break-a-sweat’ level pain instead of ‘bite-through-lip-trying-to-not-scream’ level pain. Whee. Again, there might be other solutions to that problem, but I was told it was temporary, it wasn’t enough to make me stop. So, ‘something not right’ yes, but ‘not really worth doing anything about’, too. At least, not beyond ibu, once I knew what was causing it.
    RE: homeopathy and any other form of any other alternative or complementary medicine. My feeling is that if it works, it works, and I don’t really care how most of the time. I will say that many of the children’s homeopathy products use lactose as a base, which is a known endorphin trigger in infancy and childhood. So it could still just be the lactose in those (even sucrose works, clinically drops the cortisol level). In that sense, a sugar pill might work as well. So, my skeptic side. But they said the same about acupuncture, and now use it for anesthesia in animals, who are unlikely to lie about whether they’re anesthetized, or feel better, etc… And they’re now seeing the brain activity from accupuncture is different from even fake accupuncture (same needles, wrong sites). I withhold any judgment, and use the alternative methods that work for me. Homeopathy hasn’t been one that really works well for me, so far. Instead, even *less* likely methods have worked (HK, energy work, woo-out-there stuff). Go figure.

  103. I think one great thing about this site (especially on the sleep issues) has always been the idea that moms and dads need to figure out approaches that work for _them_ and for _their kids_. For example, some kids need to cry a little before they go to sleep; others don’t benefit from that at all. Likewise, some parents and kids get a lot out of certain parenting techniques (like babywearing) and others don’t. And that’s ok, because we are all unique and every family is a constellation of unique people.This community has been really good about not clinging to polarizing ideologies and instead taking a much more pragmatic approach, which is why I come here. Before having my son I would have probably said I agreed with a lot of the AP philosophy. When he was a couple months old I skimmed a copy of Babywise that my cousin had given me (that I had immediately dismissed as right-wing nutjob drivel) and realized that we were basically taking the approach he recommended. Not because I thought it was the best or only way to do things, but because we had fallen into a pattern that _in our family_ made for a happy baby and happy parents. I think that’s everyone’s goal here–to keep an open mind, to help each other find workable solutions to common problems, and to support each other in this joyful but challenging role of being a parent. Ta da–off my soapbox now.

  104. Moxie, I’m just reading your comment re: hurt feelings now. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier, especially since I was one of the commenters “calling you out.”To me, the thing that got me about your response to Meagan was the way it started, “Hey, Meagan…” To me, it shot me right back to highschool, where if you didn’t agree with the cool girls (one of whom I was, most definitely, NOT), you were totally out. I felt like there was no real way to create a dialog when you started by essentially highlighting how you thought she was wrong. Does that make sense?
    I argued back and forth with myself whether or not to say anything. I finally decided to say something because I felt like you would want to know if you said anything that could be construed as harsh/hurtful/nasty, etc. I do NOT think what you said fell at all into the “nasty” end of the spectrum. Just maybe a spur of the moment comment when we’re used to more measured discourse from you.
    I do agree with Suki that I’ve noticed a little change in the tone of AskMoxie recently. I don’t know if it’s seasonal, or related to the changes in your personal life, or something else entirely. I also don’t know if it’s good or bad. I just think I’ve seen a few more “I’m right” posts when in the past we would have seen a “I’ll tell you what works for me, and then let’s see what works for other people” posts.
    Again, I certainly NEVER intended to hurt your feelings. I always refer my new mother friends to AskMoxie, and I greatly respect your opinion. I just felt like you’d want to know if you were coming across differently than you intended.

  105. re homeopathy: One more data point. I worked with a holistic vet for quite awhile, and we generally saw the chronic cases that conventional meds weren’t fixing (severe skin/food allergies, for example). The vet used a combination of therapies (acupuncture, conventional meds, homeopathy). The homeopathy worked wonders when sometimes nothing else would. Since I didn’t see how the placebo effect would apply to animals, this was pretty powerful proof to me that, when administered by a skilled homeopath, it can work when nothing else will.BUT…if you try to self-diagnose and/or use combination therapies, it probably won’t work for you. It’s an art as much as a science, and IMO, you need a good homeopath to get the best result.
    I suppose I’ve noticed a bit of a change in the tone here lately as well, and attributed it to a combination of the changes in Moxie’s life and possibly a slightly different user base? I still come here every day, not so much for my own issues, which have thankfully mostly resolved themselves now that my son is almost 3, but to see if I can contribute anything to anyone else. Pay it forward, as it were…

  106. Wow, I’m just coming back to this after a few days, had no idea there were so many follow-up comments. FWIW my feelings weren’t hurt by Moxie’s response to me, but I did think maybe she hadn’t really understood my comment, hence the follow-up. And by using the “dismissive” word I wasn’t talking specifically about Moxie, but referring to that overall sentiment “babywearing shouldn’t hurt, if it does you’re doing it wrong…” which I have seen over and over, definitely not just here!I used to hang out a lot at Ask Moxie. I have had less time for reading blogs in general recently but still think of yours as a very valuable voice in the blogging world, especially as an AP-leaning mom who’s not huge on labels but doesn’t do everything the “common” way either.

  107. I love how you organized your post it’s aeowsme! What are you using for the thumbnail strips? Good luck on that detox girl! Sounds tough but I know you can do it. And? Your girlie is so cute love the cottage cheese face!

  108. Actually:”Maybe we should look for our bkaapccks instead of leaving right away”. Trans:”Quizas deberiamos buscar nuestras mochillas en vez de irnos de seguido”.

  109. Take Motrin for the pain, prior to going to sleep.That is a short term solution to the polbrem, however.You need to change the way you deliver the News papers.Alternate hands and arms.I had the same polbrem years ago with a computer Mouse.I trained my self to you the Mouse with my left hand not an easy task for a right handed person. Also, use stretching exercises to relieve the stress in the arm that bothers you.Sandy

  110. I’ve tagged you in a post with a fact and a link about bberwaaying, however when I went to your Facebook page, I couldn’t find my post? I made sure that I tagged you though so I don’t know what happened? I also posted the giveaway on my page

  111. I have started hanvig major back pain, mainly in my lower back, but have never been to a doctor for it. Unfortunately in high school I chose to march a tuba in band for three years straight about 20-25 hrs. a week. I am only 4’10 and 105 lbs. Also, I am a waitress and I have to carry 50-60 lb. trays all day full of food. I have tried taking advil, tylenol w/codeine, ibuprofen- everything, even stonger stuff. Nothing has worked, except for my father’s vicodin which he lets me take on occasion. I want to go to the doctor and have him help me with this problem, but I don’t want to come off as a drug-addicted young person begging for pills, but so far vicodin is the only thing that has seemed to do the trick. And I don’t like going to the chiropractor, I just feel uncomfortable with someone touching my back and it cures the pain for a day then it comes back. So I don’t know how to tell the doc that I can’t get physical help with it.I dont really believe in taking pills, but lately vicodin has been wonderful to me. What do doctors usually prescribe or recommend for back pain? What do I do?oh I’m 20 by the way

  112. As eventful and entertaining as the recent Man Utd v Chelsea match was, for me the highlight was the debut of the Nike T90 Laser IVโ€™s. Contributing to both the amazing goals and even more amazing misses, they were constantly in the thick of the action. Since that eventful day an increasing amount of professionals have been seen donning Nikes newest boot release, so needless to say, when they arrived today it was like Christmas had come early!

  113. This is the most complete card taneirg ebook available. It includes all major taneirg techniques for ripping a deck of cards in half, lengthwise, and more! The 50+ pages of exercises included in this ebook are well the price alone!

  114. When my daughter was 3 mhtons old, I carried her in the sling while I taught Bible school. One of the helper moms followed me everywhere, determined she was going to catch the baby when she fell out of the sling.And at one point DD’s head lightly bumped against a door frame (she didn’t even cry), but that same mom rushed over and started inspecting the baby’s head to ensure she wasn’t seriously injured.I kept thinking, “Geez, lady, you actually think she’d be safer down in the nursery with a 5:1 child-to-adult ratio and toddlers running everywhere?”

  115. Hello Amy,I was very sad to read about your sister being in hostpial. It isn’t nice to be in pain and wanting it to stop.I hope Katie is able to feel better soon so she can be home with the people she loves. That would be a wonderful Christmas gift.Ross Mannell (teacher)NSW, Australia

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