The red-eye sucks

I'm back from the West Coast. Jet-lagged, cranky, and happier to be in New York than I thought I could be.

Halloween is upon me, and I'm trying to dig out from being gone for so long.

But! Monday I resume Ask Moxie posting. Questions, questions, questions. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

71 thoughts on “The red-eye sucks”

  1. happy halloween, everyone!poking my head out of a huge pile to say i try and read as much as i can to keep up and stay connected- love to all and have a safe and fun and candy-filled (or whatever your eating restrictions allow) holiday!! mwah!!

  2. Cobblestone – Sorry, we should have mentioned that. I just hope JC was able to latch on to that rock-hard part and help you out of that situation. (Back in the day, most of my pumping stash was pumped at 3 am after kiddo could only finish one humongous side. I had to pump the other side out so I could sleep.)

  3. Since no official thread today, this isn’t really a hi-jack, but…….. this weekend is the fall time change here, and am really nervouse that DS is going to be waking up at 5:30 all next week. Was thinking of trying to keep him up a bit late tonight and tomorrow, but worried this will turn him into over-tired mess. Thoughts? Advice?

  4. @Cobblestone, I’m so with you. DS did 5 hours straight the other night (the only time so far) and by hour 3 I was standing over him, dripping breastmilk on his sleeping head. My husband had to remind me that pumping would help the situation. Duh. I forgot. I am tiiiiired.Also worried about this weekend’s time change, esp. since #1’s naps are super-wonky lately (new brother adjustment, molars and being 22 months old). Advice is eagerly anticipated.

  5. Jac,The first night after the end of DLS, Zoe woke at 4.20 rather than her usual 5.30ish, and I had put her to bed an hour later. I have always found that when I put her to bed later than her usual bed time, she tends to wake earlier. However after a week of goign to bed a little later she is starting to wake up at her usual time and even sometimes after her usual time. I started night-weaning the night of the change and so don’t know if that has contributed in any way. She wakes, I go in, give her a back rub and then she goes back to sleep. Will have a better idea further along.

  6. My favorite is when your boobs are actually squirting because kid slept through the night. I may have mentioned that at the infamous baby shower last week, to the disgust of all the childless guests. And since you asked, I stuck to my guns and did no alcohol, but I could kind of see how that crowd would have welcomed it with open arms.Loving my new SAHM gig. Not loving the new “medical food” (aka prescription vitamin) the doctor put me on to boost my antidepressant. So far totally up and down moods, but I remain hopeful.
    @SarcastiCarrie, I was reading your blog to figure out where in Chicagoland you live, and I think we are pretty close to each other. I’m in the south ‘burbs.

  7. About the time change: my son has always had a terrible time with this time change. No matter how late he stays up, he never sleeps in. So we adjust his bedtime back 15 minutes every other night, until he is going to bed at the new time. It is still traumatic, but not as bad as trying to do it all in one night. Good luck!PS. He is 8 now, and we still do this. But it is not quite as critical as it was when he was a baby/toddler.

  8. Oh, and let me just add, for those of you who may be thinking of me as a huge prude, I have absolutely no problem with alcohol. I like a good margarita, beer, or glass of wine as much at the next guy. Just not at an afternoon baby shower.

  9. Just set your expectations LOOOOOW for the time change and put in your head it will take about a week for the little one to adjust.And I still think this fall back one is a smack in my motherhood face – the one that once delivered such a wonderful gift is now actually stealing an extra hour away from me.

  10. re: engorgement while baby sleeps…. try lying down beside baby and brush your nipple against his/her lips. chances are he/she will latch on and nurse without even waking up!

  11. Muppet’s been weaned for almost a month now and he’s cutting molars (not one, but two!) and last night I found myself wishing that I could shove my boob in his mouth and ease his pain. I even contemplated doing it…just to see what would happen. In my crazed, sleep-deprived stupor, I actually considered putting a smooshy, deflated, no longer a pleasant B-cup but now I can’t even deal with the fact that (recently confirmed in the Macy’s dressing room with tears in my eyes) they’re an A-cup, milk-less boob in my teething child’s mouth because I was just…so…desperate! for sleep that I would do just…about…anything! I longed for the days when my magical breasts would make everything better, or at least a little quieter. As much as the memory of hot and painfully engorged breasts makes me cringe, I would have given just about anything last night to ease my poor, not-so-baby-anymore baby’s pain. He was ripping my heart out and smashing it between his swollen gums.Molars (and DST) are the current bane of my existence.

  12. Um, I have a little bit of a topic hi-jack as well.So my little guy is doing pretty well on potty training during the day. Yay! His teacher told me yesterday that she thinks he is ready to start wearing underwear during the day (just be ready for lots of accidents). Great news, huh?
    I would really like to get some of the Gerber training undies like Moxie mentions. The kind that look like real underwear with extra fabric in the crotch to help absord accidents. I just think this would work a little better than regular toddler underwear particularly as we head into colder weather.
    But um, I can’t seem to find them anywhere local. All my local Target had was the plasticy kind of training pant. Ick! Any other ideas on where to look? Would the giant obnoxious big box baby store have any?
    I guess if worse comes to worse, I can just send him in regular undies until the Gerber training undies are delivered from an online source.
    Feel free to e-mail with any and all suggestions!
    Thanks!

  13. Oh, and I forgot to share this because it is totally unrelated to DST or engorged/deflated boobs, but DH was bathing Muppet the other night and had stripped him naked while getting the bath ready. Muppet apparently walked up to the heating vent in the floor of the bathroom and proceeded to pee in it. DH had a hard time recounting the story he was laughing so hard. Then he says, “Maybe Muppet’s ready for potty-learning,” in an off-handed way and it hit us all of a sudden…he’s 15 months old. Holy cow. He’s maybe getting ready for PL. Already? Really? He’s going up and down the stairs all on his own and will only eat foods he can feed himself. He might as well get his driver’s license and move out already…at least that’s what it feels like.

  14. We got back two weeks ago from a trip to Seattle with a 15-month-old and nine hours of jetlag.So time changes stink. But they’re survivable! We just stuck as close to the normal schedule as we could and waited it out, and slowly but surely things settled back into place.
    Sure, I had a couple of very tough mornings and I complained a lot to my childless and astounded colleagues. And there was that everyone-in-the-family-up-for-a-three-hour-party-at-midnight thing in the middle of the week. But that’s not all that unusual even when we stay in our own time zone.
    However, when Europe “fell back” last week and brought us an hour closer to Seattle, I cried hallelujah.

  15. nej: I don’t think he’s ready for potty training UNLESS you’re ready and willing to go through several regressions. What you’re seeing him do is experimenting. He is thinking “Here’s a cool idea, let’s see what happens if I pee on the radiator, and lets see what dad looks like when I do it!”He’s cognitively too young to understand all that’s involved in potty training for it to begin now and go smoothly. It can go smoothly, or relatively smoothly, when done at the right developmental stage. Or he will get confused and use his upcoming power stages to show you who the boss is and if he’s doing potty training, guess where he’ll place his power attempts?
    Training Pants: Personally I’m against them. Don’t throw tomatoes just yet, great way to calm the crowd Alexis!
    I know you need pull-ups for school, but you can also tell your child these are for *out of the house only*, at home we wear regular panties so you can learn. Training underware was created to extend the time you’re paying the diaper company, and they are *marketed* to you as a way to help potty train. There is a reason why toddler underwear is uncomfortable when a child pees in them, it reminds them to make it to the potty. The diaper companies have even back tracked to include this in their new marketing. Their new marketing says, “our new pull-ups share wet clues with your child”. How many chemicals did they have to put in your child’s pull-up so your child can feel the wet sensation? Why pay for that, let them, if they are ready feel how wet and cold underwear is when they pee in them. You can’t tell this is one of my pet peeves, can you!!!
    Time changes: This helped with one child, the other one, no way.
    We put a blanket over the window to keep the sun out for a little while longer as he adjusted to the time change. Blackout blinds are another way to go.
    Engorged breasts: This one I can speak about! I had mastitis about every other week for the first 6 months with each of my babies. Latching on incorrectly, and very large breasts were my issue. Try a really hot shower. The hot water will release some of the milk and help you wait until the baby wakes up. You guys are lucky there were no breast pumps easily available when I had children.
    Deflated breasts: They say, and I experienced this, that breast tissue does go back to it’s original size, or pretty close to it, about 7 years after you’ve completed your last nursing experience. Don’t know if you wanted to hear that or not?

  16. @Shannon – Um, why ask for everyone’s advice (which was a resounding “YES, serve alcohol”) if you were just going to ignore everyone??!! It’s irritating when people decide to thread-hijack, particularly when they don’t even appear to *honestly* be looking for input on a parenting issue. What about all the folks out there who have submitted burning questions through the proper channel? I’ll be glad to read more insightful posts and comments again. Yes, I know I’m a total bitch who has issues.

  17. @bitch who has issues – cheers! (pun intended) I bit my tongue earlier after reading the whole “I’m not a prude just because I won’t serve alcohol at a baby shower even though it was clearly what everyone, including the guest of honor, wanted” post but I couldn’t help myself but to cheers you. Think I’ll go pour myself a glass of wine. 🙂

  18. @Shannon aka……..SEVEN YEARS?! Lord help me. My problem is the opposite of the Nej. I went from a 32DD before kids to a 30G *after* nursing. I’d love, love, love to have smaller boobs, deflated or not!! sigh

  19. re: the Shannon thread… I don’t have the time to look up the exact quote right now put I urge us to please remember that one never knows what battle anyone else is fighting. One of the hardest things I think to learn as an adult who wants to make a positive change in the world is that we can’t change others and that we must give the benefit of the doubt… An emotional issue can be thought of the same as a broken arm or leg etc. for which one would have immediate sympathy and one would certainly help.re: Halloween – I’m bummed because I just ran out of all my goodies and it is only 7:30pm. I feel bad for the kids but I bought about $25 worth of assorted stuff, more than 100 pieces of animal crackers, stickers, crayons, etc. Guess we all do what we can do.
    Rhetorical question: should I feel bad that I ate my son’s chocolate from the 10 houses we went to b/c I know he won’t remember tom’w that he got some?! (I think the stomachache on my part will be consequence enough…)
    Re: leaking: I used to pump very first thing in the morning, once my son was in a “pattern” of waking after 6am, I woke at 5:30am and could pump almost two 5-oz Meleda bottles and was still able to nurse at 6:15ish. Our bodies can be truly remarkable. But, past a certain point, I did sleep with an ice pack instead of pumping first thing for when I didn’t need to pump so much (after he was eating a lot more solid food). There were certainly nights when I would wake up in what I thought was a sweat but really milk-soak. Ugh yet still remarkable.

  20. re: the Shannon thread… I don’t have the time to look up the exact quote right now put I urge us to please remember that one never knows what battle anyone else is fighting. One of the hardest things I think to learn as an adult who wants to make a positive change in the world is that we can’t change others and that we must give the benefit of the doubt… An emotional issue can be thought of the same as a broken arm or leg etc. for which one would have immediate sympathy and one would certainly help.re: Halloween – I’m bummed because I just ran out of all my goodies and it is only 7:30pm. I feel bad for the kids but I bought about $25 worth of assorted stuff, more than 100 pieces of animal crackers, stickers, crayons, etc. Guess we all do what we can do.
    Rhetorical question: should I feel bad that I ate my son’s chocolate from the 10 houses we went to b/c I know he won’t remember tom’w that he got some?! (I think the stomachache on my part will be consequence enough…)
    Re: leaking: I used to pump very first thing in the morning, once my son was in a “pattern” of waking after 6am, I woke at 5:30am and could pump almost two 5-oz Meleda bottles and was still able to nurse at 6:15ish. Our bodies can be truly remarkable. But, past a certain point, I did sleep with an ice pack instead of pumping first thing for when I didn’t need to pump so much (after he was eating a lot more solid food). There were certainly nights when I would wake up in what I thought was a sweat but really milk-soak. Ugh yet still remarkable.

  21. re: the Shannon thread… I don’t have the time to look up the exact quote right now put I urge us to please remember that one never knows what battle anyone else is fighting. One of the hardest things I think to learn as an adult who wants to make a positive change in the world is that we can’t change others and that we must give the benefit of the doubt… An emotional issue can be thought of the same as a broken arm or leg etc. for which one would have immediate sympathy and one would certainly help.re: Halloween – I’m bummed because I just ran out of all my goodies and it is only 7:30pm. I feel bad for the kids but I bought about $25 worth of assorted stuff, more than 100 pieces of animal crackers, stickers, crayons, etc. Guess we all do what we can do.
    Rhetorical question: should I feel bad that I ate my son’s chocolate from the 10 houses we went to b/c I know he won’t remember tom’w that he got some?! (I think the stomachache on my part will be consequence enough…)
    Re: leaking: I used to pump very first thing in the morning, once my son was in a “pattern” of waking after 6am, I woke at 5:30am and could pump almost two 5-oz Meleda bottles and was still able to nurse at 6:15ish. Our bodies can be truly remarkable. But, past a certain point, I did sleep with an ice pack instead of pumping first thing for when I didn’t need to pump so much (after he was eating a lot more solid food). There were certainly nights when I would wake up in what I thought was a sweat but really milk-soak. Ugh yet still remarkable.

  22. Re: time changes – a benefit of living in this part of Australia is that they do not have daylight savings time. The clocks never change. Bizarre. It has been debated by the gov and other folks for years. The farmers complain that the cows won’t know when to eat, etc. The hotels complain that the tourists won’t know where the beach is…or something like that. : ) All I know is that it is one less thing that I have to worry about.I always thought the breast engorgement was amazing(yet painful). I used to poke my husband at 4 AM and say “Feel that!!” It kind of made me proud that I could produce so much milk. Ah…first time motherhood. It is all an adventure.

  23. Another incredibly hard thing that I have faced in my life is asking for what I need. May we all learn to do that without guilt. (And may we all learn to understand that not everyone is in that place right now to do that.)To be specific about above, I have another thought about the baby shower/advice listening thread. Shannon, it sounds as if you wanted validation for a decision that you’d already made. For what it’s worth, I think that can be a terrific use of this site. My guess is that you would have received more positive feedback if you had phrased your original question closer to what you wanted such as, “I really don’t want to serve alcohol at an afternoon shower. Advice about how to tactfully say ‘no’ when that was requested?”
    I think it’s all about growth as emotionally intelligent beings and accepting that we are all at different phases of that growth process.

  24. Another incredibly hard thing that I have faced in my life is asking for what I need. May we all learn to do that without guilt. (And may we all learn to understand that not everyone is in that place right now to do that.)To be specific about above, I have another thought about the baby shower/advice listening thread. Shannon, it sounds as if you wanted validation for a decision that you’d already made. For what it’s worth, I think that can be a terrific use of this site. My guess is that you would have received more positive feedback if you had phrased your original question closer to what you wanted such as, “I really don’t want to serve alcohol at an afternoon shower. Advice about how to tactfully say ‘no’ when that was requested?”
    I think it’s all about growth as emotionally intelligent beings and accepting that we are all at different phases of that growth process.

  25. Another incredibly hard thing that I have faced in my life is asking for what I need. May we all learn to do that without guilt. (And may we all learn to understand that not everyone is in that place right now to do that.)To be specific about above, I have another thought about the baby shower/advice listening thread. Shannon, it sounds as if you wanted validation for a decision that you’d already made. For what it’s worth, I think that can be a terrific use of this site. My guess is that you would have received more positive feedback if you had phrased your original question closer to what you wanted such as, “I really don’t want to serve alcohol at an afternoon shower. Advice about how to tactfully say ‘no’ when that was requested?”
    I think it’s all about growth as emotionally intelligent beings and accepting that we are all at different phases of that growth process.

  26. I forgot to mention that the underwear I mentioned in my rant against pull-ups are not the thin underwear children wear after they’re successfuly potty trained, it’s the underwear that has extra padding in the crotch to let the child know he’s wet. I think they sell them at WalMart or Target, not sure. Happy Halloween!

  27. On re-reading Moxie’s comment I found no mention of a topic for today and so it would be impossible to hijack something that doesn’t exist.So…..((bitchy anons, cut to the next post as I’m hijacking big time)
    Can anyone tell me if a child (22 months) can have lesions on the face (mosquito like bites) if they have hand foot and mouth disease? She has a few on her hands too, but none anywhere else. She had a slight fever for a couple of days and can’t keep anything down except breastmilk. My ped was a way yesterday so will have to wait till Monday (if she sees me, that is). Oh and BTW, I thought it might be chicken pox, but don’t you get the spots on the chest mainly?

  28. @Sharon…I was talking about the undies with extra padding. Like the ones Moxie mentions in this post. http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/04/qa_making_the_l.htmlJust a mix-up in communication. I happen to agree with what you were saying though. My son has been in pull-ups for 6ish months. Not because I think they help with potty training but because they are easier to get off/on for potty attempts at daycare. If he has something better to do (toys or Diego) then he is prone to peeing in his pullup and THEN telling me that he made a “yuck”. I think the undies will help push him get rid of this annoying habit and well on the way to being fully potty trained.

  29. Michelle, I’m just about to write my Coffee-Talk piece for November and your situation reminded me to put this part in too.Practicing is one of the best ways I know of to respond to a child. And your potty situation is a great example.
    What if you and your child did a practice session over the weekend. Make a game out of it.
    Get a timer and see how many times he can pull the pull-up up and down in 10 seconds or whatever. Then repeat in about an hour or so.
    Each time see if he can do it for 1 more second. He thinks he’s doing this to best his last time, you’re doing this so he can practice pulling them off quickly when he’s waited too long to go pee. Make sure there’s lots of cheering going on and no rewards. I don’t know your child, but no parent wants their child to demand a reward as he successfully getting the potty thing working.
    This will do two things.
    One you’ll be able to see where he’s getting stuck in the pull up and pull down process as you cheer him on.
    And two you’re being ProActive. By teaching him how to do this pull-up thing quickly he gets to feel successful before another accident occurs.
    This “beat your own best time” type thing can work through out childhood and can help reduce sibling comparisons or competition. Give it try, he may amaze himself!

  30. After re-reading Michelle comment I realize my response was created on an idea that I forgot to mention.The idea is in order to teach a child not to do something you can go backwards and re-teach and then bring him forward in the process again. In this case your child is too busy to stop so he goes in his pull-up. One way to change that is to go backwards and re-teach him the goal of wearing the pull-up. That’s where the game fits in.
    Sorry I missed that in round one, I need to stop now.

  31. Thanks Sharon! That is a good idea. I use that idea to keep him from dawdling on his way to school, so it should work great for the pottying. His teacher also recommended that I buy several pairs of sweats or track pants that are easier to get on/off.Plus I have a 9 year old stepson that my little one worships so I think it might help if he has undies just like big brother. And of course, big brother goes potty on the toilet.
    I’m actually not too worried about it as he isn’t even 2.5 yet. Yeah, we don’t use rewards other than lots of praise.

  32. I just have to pout somewhere, but I’m not looking for advice, b/c I’ve learned my lesson. We left a bowl of candy out with a note saying “help yourself” since we didn’t want the doorbell going off while DD tries to go to sleep. By 8 pm all candy, the bowl, and the table it was on are gone. So much for finding a “nice” neighborhood. I understand mischief, but stealing anything that isn’t nailed down just b/c we dared not personally hand out candy is just being a sucky human being.Next year, we’re just going to turn the sprinklers on the driveway and the sidewalk in front of our house. See if the little snots feel like getting wet to rip us off.

  33. @anon and Shannon, I’m going to drink some alcohol tomorrow afternoon (Saturday) as a peace offering for the two of you.Michelle, try KMart. They seem to have the random stuff you don’t know you need (like the Nuby cup and those padded underpants). If not, then I think you can order them from Amazon.
    @nej, my older one started potty training at 16 months. It was fun–mostly playing around and handing us toilet paper, and running around inside with no underpants on and peeing into the potty. It wasn’t perfect, but we did save a ton of diapers, and I know it was great for his process of communication and self-esteem. He wasn’t completely out of diapers until 27 months (for daytime), but that’s still way early for a boy. I’d still hop on it again if I had it to do over.

  34. @Michelle – I bought those underpants at Babies R Us. I believe I found them near the Gerber cloth diapers.@Caliboo – that’s crazy about the table. Sorry that happened to you.

  35. Man, the table? Sheesh.And @ the anons, the tone at Shannon I think was uncalled for, especially here. I’m sorry you felt that she was required to take the advice that was offered, and that time-sensitive but low-life-priority hijacks bother you – apparently this is very important to you, though I’m really not sure why. People take tangents all the time, and mainly they get a few replies but nothing thread altering… that one got a LOT of replies, which wasn’t exactly Shannon’s fault. I’m a bit confused as to why this was so upsetting for you that you felt a need to go anon and post mean-spiritedly. It clearly touched a nerve, though, so you have my sympathy for the nerve that was touched. I do wish you had sympathy for the possibility that nobody provided enough reason for her to change her position. And for the fact that she also observed and learned more in the process, and said so.

  36. Chicken pox tends to start on the chest and torso, then spread toward the extremities, I think.The lesions are usually on, in, or around the mouth, and on the hands, feet, and sometimes spread to the buttocks and torso in younger kids. They may just be raised bumps, or they may crust and thicken. The can be itchy or non-itchy. It can have a fever or not have much of a fever (annoying isn’t it?).
    It does sound like it could be. You could do Google images and compare it to lesions there, or try Medline Plus, which has a Rashes section that has pictures of different rashes (up close and at more of a distance).
    Either way, sorry you have to wait for the official diagnosis.

  37. Hmm. I’m also wondering if the anons who posted with frustration have a different motivation for asking for advice than Shannon did? I have a friend who only asks for advice when she really has no idea what way to go. I tend to ask for advice when I’m generally looking for other information to incorporate even if I think I already know which way I’m going – I just want to be sure I didn’t miss a major argument for/against my direction. For obvious reasons, we do NOT give each other advice – she gets frustrated with me because I tend to give information, when she wants DIRECTION, and she gets annoyed with me because I ask for advice but then still go my own path, 90% of the time the advice didn’t cover any ground I hadn’t already considered – when she thought she was going to get to tell me which route to take to what destination (and felt rejected when I didn’t usually just up and follow her direction). The 10% of the time that I have new and powerful information, I do change direction, but I’m still using my own compass, and it doesn’t match hers – so even then, it would frustrate her and leave her confused.Since I don’t expect her to actually NEED direction (since I don’t use advice that way myself), I also get confused when she seems to be asking for direction or if she takes my advice without applying her own issues, concerns, and situation to it – in which case it would go wrong for her, too.
    We learned many years ago that either of us asking the other ‘what do you think?’ was a recipe for a fight, hurt feelings, or confusion and disappointment. She feels rejected if I don’t do what she said, and I feel dismayed that she ever thought I was asking for more than ‘more data points to work from, please’.
    Anyway, I’m wondering if that’s the essence of the anger, frustration, and sense of rejection and resentment I read in those replies. She was asking for ‘what else might I consider’ and people thought she was asking to be told ‘what to DO’. There’d be no reason to either imply or say ‘if you were just going to do what you wanted, why ask for advice?’ if the assumption was ‘she just wants data points and ideas and perspective, with which to make her OWN decision’. The only reason to respond that way is if the assumption was ‘I am going to let you choose my path for me, please tell me what to do’. Yes?
    I want to note, for the record, that both types of asking are TOTALLY VALID. I think most people do both at different times, too. But we just call them both the same thing.

  38. Thanks hedra. Yeah, I guess what you’re saying is that it’s not clear cut. She has already had HHF&M once and although the spots on her hands are the same, the ones on her face are totally different and look like she’s been attacked by a vicious mosquito. Will have to just wait. Ta again.

  39. Don’t worry Shannon- this is still a safe place for you. I’m sorry that a small minority were offended that you ended up not taking their advice……my take on your post sounded more like a needed vent than any advice asking……and many of us here have used this space for such – especially when something was truly bothering us and we just needed to shout somewhere where there would be no IRL ripples.

  40. @paola, I know you are pretty much on the other side of the world from me, but there has been a virus going around San Francisco that causes a couple days of fever and body aches followed by a quick recovery in some kids, and followed by a weird facial rash and vomiting in others. Possibly just one of this winter’s fun offerings too is I guess what I’m saying. And if it is that, it’s fairly mild and will hopefully be better in another couple days.Mouse has had HFM/coxsackie twice that I know of and the rashes were very different looking–in both cases though, the lesions inside the mouth were a key diagnosis point. Hang in there!!

  41. I know sometimes I’ll ask for advice because I’m not sure what my gut reaction is, and then when I hear the advice, I can get more clear, saying to myself, “hmm, no that doesn’t seem right, I need to do ___.”also, read Shannon’s post as venting to a large degree.
    Bean rejected his lion costume & appropriated my witch hat at the last minute last night, grabbing his broom & flying around the house, so I had to improvise the rest of his costume. He was thrilled & had a ball.
    can’t believe kids stole the bowl AND the table. bizarre.
    paola hope your little one is better soon.
    re: DST, we usu try to fudge bean’s bedtime a smidge earlier or later a few days in advance of the time change.
    welcome back Moxie.

  42. Thanks Charisse and Lisa F. DD is much chirpier today and had a bit more of an appetite so I hope she is on the mend. Now this is what Moxie’s blog is all about. If a short deviation from the main thread can put someone’s mind at ease, I can’t see any harm in it. I certainly think don’t think Moxie would mind.

  43. Thanks everyone! I found the Gerber training pants at big box baby store. Said toddler now has 6 pairs of Gerber underpants and 6 regular character underpants. Hopefully this will be enough to get us through a few days!

  44. Update – they didn’t actually take the table, it got shoved over in the yard, we found it later. So, silver lining.Anybody got any funny halloween stories? I liked Lisa’s one about the last-minute costume change. There’s got to be some good stuff from last night.

  45. Cute Halloween tableau:My 13 month old son was a green, fuzzy dinosaur, complete with red spikes and a tail. When we visited my husband’s office for their Halloween Trick-or-Treating a friend gave him a purple baton, which he then started to use, tapping on the ground, table, and people as he walked by. And by walked, picture more of a waddle. With his tail swishing back and forth.
    And he discovered M&Ms. His first candy ever. And he LOVES them. Kept signing “more” and “please” over and over. Drooling.

  46. The bean and his cousin who is the same age went on their first trick or treating adventure. Bean would take a piece of candy…and then put it back. He’s very into empty/fill up right now. 🙂 (Big boy was with his dad for the weekend)And wonder of wonders, he slept through the night to his normal wake up time of six thirty…only that’s five thirty now. Oh well.
    Oh and he knows the sign for more!!!! We practiced it all weekend (so freaking cute) and thank you to all the posters who said to stick with it and he’d get it eventually!!

  47. We didn’t take DS trick or treating this year. But he was so excited by all the kids at the door. It made it easy for him to stay up well past his bedtime and this morning he slept in until 6:45 – and that’s with DST. So yay!! We’ll see how the next few days go but hopefully DST won’t cause his sleep to be as disrupted as I thought it would.@mom2boys – my son is same age as your eldest and he just had a signing breakthrough too! “More” and “milk” both in the last week. Am so pleased we kept at it as well.

  48. Verrry late to the dance but just wanted to chime in. Barely survived Halloween. We were going to stay home. At the last minute, DH got really wistful & wanted to have the experience of taking our 1-yr-old trick or treating. Which was kind of sweet, but at like 8pm, it sucked big time, as we were all exhausted by the end of the night. Now we have a crapload o’ candy sitting around the house that I have been eating. Is it unethical to eat one’s child’s Halloween candy? Hope not (she said with a ring of chocolate all around her mouth)! ;)Oh my! Shannon, chin up dear girl! Your “tangents” are always a welcome addition. I agree with the phrasing feedback &BabyMakes75 shared with you. Please don’t go away!
    Anon et.al., wow. It’s an exceptionally “out-there” comment that gets our level-headed commenters fired up like your words did. That really ought to tell you something. Knowing you “have issues” is only the beginning. I agree with hedra et.al. & would encourage you to think deeply about your true motivations. This is a place where people can & should feel free to be vulnerable.
    May I have a turn on the tangent bus? My question: “Is this normal behavior?” Here goes. DH and I went to a Halloween costume party last night. We’re relatively new in town & knew about a third of the people there. A hour into it, DH said he felt anxious and asked if we could go home. So we did. We talked about it today, and he said he “gets anxious about costume parties,” “felt like his costume wasn’t elaborate enough” and “just hates adult Halloween stuff.” I’m a little concerned because this is so out of character for him (excuse the pun). Any idea what to make of it?

  49. @hush, no idea whether it’s normal or not, but I feel much the same as your DH about grown-up costume parties. Wild horses pretty much couldn’t drag me (but I love halloween for kids).

  50. @hush, ditto not knowing if “normal” but dh and I both have social anxiety & feeling “less than” issues, add a new town, not knowing people & costumes & I’d be a wreck!paola glad your dd’s on the mend.
    ++TANGENT WARNING++
    our current stress is moving ds to a new preschool in Dec. not impressed w/current teacher’s lack of response to another child pushing DS every time they attend together. I reviewed hedra’s suggestions posted somewhat recently around being “That Parent” & advocating for your kid.
    And teacher didn’t address problem at all, she “didn’t see it happening.” and wasn’t it great that other child is so “fiesty.” wtf? Third conversation where I told her DS doesn’t want to go to school because of it, she says “some kids tend to hyperfocus at this age.”
    I can’t be in a spot where when my kid is upset & doesn’t want to go to school because someone is pushing him, there’s Nothing for me to say but Well Miss V doesn’t see it, so, sorry! or YOU need to tell Miss V & YOU need to yell No Pushing. Yes, he needs to learn those skills, but it’s not appropriate for it to all be on his little shoulders.
    new preschool seems awesome(larger, cleaner, brighter, kids his age, cooler play area) & teacher seems better fit for us but I’m nervous about transition which will occur at dh’s busiest time of year (unless of course he gets job offer in which case he’ll be changing CAREERS.oy) AND new teacher wanted to let us know that she has a boy who is “rambunctious.” (is that the male “fiesty?”) so will we be going from frying pan into fire? New teacher communicates Significantly Better than current one, and has an action plan.
    I feel like we’ve sat with this, given teacher a chance, and are making a thoughtful decision. I’m nervous about telling her we’re moving him (right now he’s still there & we’ve switched days so he’s not w/pusher.) and very nervous that he’ll be stressed out by new place (more kids, his own age & older, rambunctious boy.)
    And his stutter has been back for a while, and there are times when it worries me so it’s on my last nerve. My mantra is “Disequilibrium will pass.”

  51. @hush, that seems normal for a mild social anxiety that has some ‘situational’ aspects – I have the same thing, only I overcompensate by going WAAAAAAY overboard on costumes. I couldn’t focus much on how much Miss R was having fun, because, er, her costume was her regular clothes (see blog – it was funny and cool and totally her, and I still couldn’t quite cope in the moment). And when Miss M took hers off due to discomfort, I had to make sure everyone knew she HAD a costume, really, and it was a cool one, and … sigh.@Lisa F., the communication and action plan thing are totally your Happy Signs here. Keep up the communication. Rambunctious means ‘low physical control especially when emotionally charged up’ IMHO. Careening into people, pushing to be first, that sort of thing tends to land in there. BUT, the teacher is on it, doesn’t think it is necessarily bad per se but has a plan to help the other kids as well as that one, etc. That’s a good learning situation – where ALL the kids will be supported in learning how to function as a group as well as individuals. I’d be quite hopeful about that one. It won’t be perfect, and there will likely be incidents, but they’ll be dealt with rather than swept under the carpet. And that’s what it’s all about at this point.
    I bet the previous teacher is still dealing with her own childhood on the ‘feisty’ girl – she likely wasn’t permitted to be feisty, herself. I know I just to get a visceral thrill from watching a friend’s daughter be just tough and rough-and-tumble and fearless and a risk taker. It took me a few years to get used to the idea that I was actually like that in many ways, and that it had both upside and downside. I had to integrate it, and it sounds like the ‘old’ teacher hasn’t.

  52. Lisa F. re: daycare switching mid-year: as I’m sure Hedra said much more eloquently, you’re doing the right thing trusting your gut. I say go with that as your starting point. I’ve been through the daycare switching, too; once mid-year and once during summer. I realized that both switchings weren’t to a perfect place but they certainly were leaving an imperfect place. That it, it was the right decision based on child’s — and MY — developmental needs as a child and as a parent. (When I say as a parent, communication was one of the issues. One of the reasons I switched from one place was due to many staff members’ attitudes about child development being remarkably different than mine. I think all children should be valued even if they aren’t the loudest or even kind all the time. I also think children deserve to see their helping role in the world and learn gratitude at age/developmental appropriate levels. Silly me ha ha.)But. As for the main reason I responded to your post — I was surprised how much my child remembered the old place vs. the new place. DH and I discussed a lot to check-in that our parental instincts were right about switching when our son would ask when he was going back to old place or see old friends etc. I did go through a bit of a guilt roller-coaster but vowed to wait it out. The guilt also came surprisingly *from* my DH directed at me as when DH discovered that new place wasn’t perfect, he vented his frustration at me instead of us working together to work to change or adapt to new place. We got through it though.
    So – just a data point of my experience, congratulations for going with your gut. But, if your experience is similar to mine, expect a longer transition time to the new place which may manifest itself as regression or a behavior that needs to be addressed. (Our son started hitting me at home and pick-ups were a nightmare in terms of him running away from me, taking 20 minutes to beg him to get into car seat, crying, etc.)
    Silver lining – this school year — a complete breeze. Drop off is delightful, (he simply gives me a kiss and waves goodbye), behavior to be addressed is completely normal for his age group, (mostly sharing issues etc which we practice at home with role-playing), and pick up is so much better including, most of the time, he’ll get into his car seat by himself.
    eek, sorry for the long post.
    Am I the only one who likes DST because instead of taking the extra hour of sleep I wake up at 5am to have some quiet time to myself? (Remarkably my son adjusted fairly well to new time.)

  53. Lisa F. re: daycare switching mid-year: as I’m sure Hedra said much more eloquently, you’re doing the right thing trusting your gut. I say go with that as your starting point. I’ve been through the daycare switching, too; once mid-year and once during summer. I realized that both switchings weren’t to a perfect place but they certainly were leaving an imperfect place. That it, it was the right decision based on child’s — and MY — developmental needs as a child and as a parent. (When I say as a parent, communication was one of the issues. One of the reasons I switched from one place was due to many staff members’ attitudes about child development being remarkably different than mine. I think all children should be valued even if they aren’t the loudest or even kind all the time. I also think children deserve to see their helping role in the world and learn gratitude at age/developmental appropriate levels. Silly me ha ha.)But. As for the main reason I responded to your post — I was surprised how much my child remembered the old place vs. the new place. DH and I discussed a lot to check-in that our parental instincts were right about switching when our son would ask when he was going back to old place or see old friends etc. I did go through a bit of a guilt roller-coaster but vowed to wait it out. The guilt also came surprisingly *from* my DH directed at me as when DH discovered that new place wasn’t perfect, he vented his frustration at me instead of us working together to work to change or adapt to new place. We got through it though.
    So – just a data point of my experience, congratulations for going with your gut. But, if your experience is similar to mine, expect a longer transition time to the new place which may manifest itself as regression or a behavior that needs to be addressed. (Our son started hitting me at home and pick-ups were a nightmare in terms of him running away from me, taking 20 minutes to beg him to get into car seat, crying, etc.)
    Silver lining – this school year — a complete breeze. Drop off is delightful, (he simply gives me a kiss and waves goodbye), behavior to be addressed is completely normal for his age group, (mostly sharing issues etc which we practice at home with role-playing), and pick up is so much better including, most of the time, he’ll get into his car seat by himself.
    eek, sorry for the long post.
    Am I the only one who likes DST because instead of taking the extra hour of sleep I wake up at 5am to have some quiet time to myself? (Remarkably my son adjusted fairly well to new time.)

  54. Lisa F. re: daycare switching mid-year: as I’m sure Hedra said much more eloquently, you’re doing the right thing trusting your gut. I say go with that as your starting point. I’ve been through the daycare switching, too; once mid-year and once during summer. I realized that both switchings weren’t to a perfect place but they certainly were leaving an imperfect place. That it, it was the right decision based on child’s — and MY — developmental needs as a child and as a parent. (When I say as a parent, communication was one of the issues. One of the reasons I switched from one place was due to many staff members’ attitudes about child development being remarkably different than mine. I think all children should be valued even if they aren’t the loudest or even kind all the time. I also think children deserve to see their helping role in the world and learn gratitude at age/developmental appropriate levels. Silly me ha ha.)But. As for the main reason I responded to your post — I was surprised how much my child remembered the old place vs. the new place. DH and I discussed a lot to check-in that our parental instincts were right about switching when our son would ask when he was going back to old place or see old friends etc. I did go through a bit of a guilt roller-coaster but vowed to wait it out. The guilt also came surprisingly *from* my DH directed at me as when DH discovered that new place wasn’t perfect, he vented his frustration at me instead of us working together to work to change or adapt to new place. We got through it though.
    So – just a data point of my experience, congratulations for going with your gut. But, if your experience is similar to mine, expect a longer transition time to the new place which may manifest itself as regression or a behavior that needs to be addressed. (Our son started hitting me at home and pick-ups were a nightmare in terms of him running away from me, taking 20 minutes to beg him to get into car seat, crying, etc.)
    Silver lining – this school year — a complete breeze. Drop off is delightful, (he simply gives me a kiss and waves goodbye), behavior to be addressed is completely normal for his age group, (mostly sharing issues etc which we practice at home with role-playing), and pick up is so much better including, most of the time, he’ll get into his car seat by himself.
    eek, sorry for the long post.
    Am I the only one who likes DST because instead of taking the extra hour of sleep I wake up at 5am to have some quiet time to myself? (Remarkably my son adjusted fairly well to new time.)

  55. Thanks everyone for sharing your perspectives on social anxiety. The plan DH and I came up with for next Halloween is that he gets to pick out the costumes for us (this year he asked me to do it and wasn’t happy with the lame-o ones I chose), OR we will just skip adult festivities entirely. I think part of the reason I’m so concerned about this is because I’m an introvert who sometimes is able to act like an extrovert by hanging out with DH. So that part of me needs him to be an extrovert all the time, which is a totally unfair expectation.

  56. We don’t always get our hopes and dreams, and we don’t always get our own way.But don’t give up hope, because you can make a difference one situation and one person at a time. Did you agree with me?

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