We need data points on nursing to sleep

I’ve gotten some emails recently from moms who have been nursing their babies to sleep, but are getting lots of pushback from other people about how they need to stop or their kids will “never learn to fall asleep on their own.” I know we all know this is ridiculous, since no one goes off to college with their mom along. But I thought it would be helpful if we had some data points about what would actually happen if you just went with it.

My oldest needed to nurse to sleep, and abruptly stopped at around 11 months. He still wanted to nurse at bedtime, but couldn’t fall asleep that way anymore. Instead, he wanted his dad to rock him. (That lasted for a few months, then we went into a few months of someone lying down next to his crib, then that was over, and he started going to bed on his own, which shocked and delighted me at the time. You know how with that first kid it all seems so endless?)

My second kid never could nurse down to sleep, so he’s no use as a data point for this question.

I’ve heard of several other kids who stopped nursing down of their own accord somewhere in the 10-12-month neighborhood, but I’m wondering if this is common.

So, if you nursed to sleep at bedtime until your child gave it up on his or her own, how old was your kid?

If you pushed the weaning for that feed yourself, I’m glad you did what worked for you, but your results aren’t useful for the data we’re trying to get on this post today.

Also, you can give info about naps if you want, but I don’t think naps and nighttime sleep always have much in common timewise.

0 thoughts on “We need data points on nursing to sleep”

  1. I’m pretty useless to you, since we (gently) took away bedtime nursing around a year and a half, but I do still nurse him to sleep for naps and the occasional bedtime when Daddy is not home and he goes back and forth just fine (he’s now 26 months). So maybe that’s good to know? That it doesn’t have to be all or nothing, that is.

  2. Not sure how helpful this will be, but in the theme of “it seems like it might never end,” here’s how ours ended.Son 1 nursed before bed until he was 17 months old. By about 15 months, bedtime was only nursing time. One week, around when I was 3 months pregnant, he started getting squirmy and agitated while nursing. Then one night, he nursed, pulled off, and gave his baby signs for “All done!” and “thank you!” And he never nursed again. I swear it happened exactly like that.
    Son 2 nursed before bed until he was 22 months old…until he didn’t. One night he just hopped off to bed without nursing and that was it.
    I’m trying to remember how old they were when they stopped actually falling asleep while eating. At some point, when solid foods were pretty well established as the main source of nutrients, they wanted to nurse as the last thing before bed, but we gently encouraged them to be at least semi-awake when we put them in. That led to them nursing and then one more book, or right to bed but not asleep, etc.
    But just to confuse things, Son 2 was a very enthusiastic nurser, and even a month before he self-weaned, he would still nurse himself asleep at naps and some bedtimes. Really, it was more naptime I was worried about since that’s when he really seemed to need the nursings to drop off.
    I don’t know how helpful that is with data points though. Sorry to ramble.

  3. Nursed to sleep until 8 or 9 months, then nurse (or later a bottle) before bed but not to sleep until 18 months when I took the bottle away. Then it was a sippy cup before bed (but not to sleep) until now at over 3 he still has a cup of milk in his room while reading books before bed.

  4. I don’t know Moxie, but the kids who don’t nurse to sleep seem like data points to me. That is, some kids do nurse to sleep and some kids don’t, so behaving like one way is “the right” way (namely, not needing the nursing) and the other is the “wrong” way is counterproductive.Rabbit never consistently nursed to sleep at night, but she would sometimes fall asleep while nursing (does that make sense?). I guess what I’m saying is that she never developed an association between nursing and sleep past the newborn stage. That said, all of this ended at around 8 months, I would say. After that, food was all about wakefulness. And, she only maybe twice ever fell asleep while drinking from a bottle (we always did about half-and-half breast/bottle).

  5. Pretty early on, we started a bottle to go to sleep, but I nursed him back to sleep in the (MANY) night wakings, and nursed him down for naps pretty often too, when he didn’t fall asleep in the car. (He still does most naps in the car)For bedtime, we started getting him to fall asleep in his crib. We have a little couch in his room and we’d read books, then turn off the light and give a bottle (and occasionally nurse). he started popping off or handing the bottle back to us and then he’d cuddle and fall asleep in my arms. So I started moving him to the crib right befoe he was asleep, and then I’d kneel next to the crib while he fell asleep. This was probably around 13-14 months?
    I tihnk that step helped him start going back to sleep on his own because he finally stopped waking up ALL.NIGHT.LONG and got to maybe once or twice.
    To get rid of the night nursings, I just waited til I was ready to wean – around 16 1/2 months. He had already started on his own though. When he wakes, I usually take him into the guest room and sleep with him the rest of the night. He had started just cuddling and falling asleep instead of nursing all the time anyway. So I just stopped offering, and I had a bottle of milk in case of emergency in an ice bucket. he stopped drinking more than a sip or two of that, so now I just keep a sippy of water by the bed in case he needs a sip.
    So he did it pretty easily, and with a little prodding. There were a few nights where he kpet signing milk at me while I held a bottle out… and it was heartbreaking, but he got over it in about 2 minutes and grudgingly took the bottle and fell asleep.

  6. My daughter is almost 2.5 years and still nurses to sleep at night. But she can (easily) go to sleep without when the milk isn’t available.

  7. Nursed/bottle to sleep until around 12 months (same time babe gave up nursing completely and went to bottle on her own). Still has nighttime milk (from sippy now at 18 months) but hasn’t been put to bed asleep in 6 months now.

  8. I can’t remember what happened with No. 1, who is about to be 5, but she is still completely addicted to a sippy of milk before bed.No. 2 wasn’t nursing to sleep by about 5 months. He’d nurse before going to sleep (and still does), but actually fell asleep without the nipple in his mouth. (Amusingly, fluttering kisses on his cheeks was a sure-fire way to get him to sleep at that point!) Since I work, naps were non-nursing sometimes by 8 weeks.

  9. My older son nursed to sleep till he was around 13 mos. Then one day he just stopped…he would nurse then we’d rock for a bit (about 10 min) and I’d put him down in our bed and lay with him till he fell asleep. Around 18 mos, he started falling asleep while we rocked and I’d just lay him in his crib. FWIW, he was night weaned at 15 mos and completely weaned at 23 mos.My younger son never nursed to sleep and refused to co-sleep. He night weaned at a year and weaned completely at 21 mos.
    We did parent-led night weaning (DH got up with both kids for about a week and that took care of it), but daytime nursing was child-led.

  10. Yep to Moxie’s data point. M. stopped nursing to sleep at around 10 months. My husband started rocking her to sleep at night, and still does (at 15 months). When I do the night routine, I still nurse her, but she pulls off and then falls asleep.Unfortunately, this didn’t translate, as I was lead to believe (ahem, No-Cry Sleep Solution) into a magical night of sleep without constant waking to nurse. But we are making gradual progress in that direction…

  11. Did it for as long as he needed it….and we still give a bottle of milk at bedtime because it helps to settle him/soothe him. He’s 2.5. If he wakes in the middle of the night and sounds like he won’t be able to settle himself, I will bring him a bottle of milk then too (and wish I was still breastfeeding b/c nothing sucks more than waiting for a bottle of milk to warm up in the microwave at 2 AM). I choose not to feel guilty or worry about this b/c despite what people warned me about (if you keep giving him bottles in the middle of the night he will wake up to have that time with you) he is a human being who actually LIKES to sleep. Unless he has a bad dream, or got too much daytime sleep, or is getting sick….he generally sleeps all the way through the night because that’s what his body needs more than a bottle of milk. So I say hooey to all those warnings. Eventually they will all go to sleep on their own, and they will sleep through the night without needing anything from you regardless of what you do/do not do. I look back on all the fretting I did over things that – in retrospect – resolved themselves at the developmentally appropriate time, with little intervention from me.

  12. With no.1, I nursed to sleep until I weaned him at 17 months. He wasn’t good at falling asleep on his own without the boob with me around, but did it with everyone else. He did however know how to get back to sleep on his own as he was sleeping thru at 10 weeks ( sorry to brag)and I imagine at some point he was waking and getting back to sleep by himself.My 18.5 month old still wants me to nurse her down at night, but she is almost always still awake when I put her to bed. This has been going on since 7 months when we sleep trained. We both like the evening nurse, and it’s a top up in case she is still hungry. Oh, BTW, now she is putting up quite a fuss when I put her to bed. She’ll cry a bit before dropping off, something she never did before. I presume this is due to the god-awful 18 month sleep regression.

  13. My daughter stopped nursing to sleep at about 24-25 months, after I used Dr. Jay Gordon’s nightweaning plan for night wakings/feedings. I didn’t follow it word for word because after the first waking where I didn’t feed her and comforted her through singing, patting, etc she didn’t wake much after that.I didn’t set out to break the nursing to sleep at first, but it naturally followed, with her giving it up on her own.
    She is still nursing in the morning and after daycare/work.
    http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

  14. My son went off and on in terms of actually falling asleep while nursing, but I think he was completely unable to nurse to sleep after about 10 months. Now he is weaned but still has a bottle of soy milk for bedtime and naps at home, yet somehow does not need it for naps at daycare.

  15. And some other things I didn’t add- she woke every 2-3 hours for 2 years before the gentle nightweaning. She is very verbal and I waited until she was ready to understand what I was saying and even though she was angry, she understood. She wasn’t scared or confused.Since then, she is STTN beautifully. Consider me a happy mama!
    Also, she does take a sippy of water to bed with her, I guess it is her replacement for nursing to sleep, but one that she chose.

  16. Still nursing to sleep and some night nursing @ 16.5 months. He does nap just fine without nursing, but on weekends I sometimes nurse at naptime. He just transitioned to the toddler room at daycare and he definitely has nursed more at night, recently. I think it is connected. So far I plan to let him quit on his own, but we do have Daddy putting him down for his nap so I can have that extra time to do stuff.

  17. nursed pnut to sleep for what felt like forever- between 15 to 18 months i think, although early on when she’d be in that milky coma i’d slip out my nipple and put in her binky. which she still uses at bedtime. which is a blessing and a curse, i suppose. she was always a kid who needed oral soothing, liked to suck (knew she was hungry if she spit the bink out) and we were ok with it. if she brings her binky to college, so be it.i will say it used to haunt me that she couldn’t go to sleep w/o nursing down. it made me crazy- so anxious and angry that i was the only one who could get her to settle down (besides the swing or driving- but if i needed to put her down in the crib it had to be passed out from the boob) and i had so much resentment- mostly due i think to not ever being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel (which i imagine is a theme when you are a first time mommy? it was for me, it seems)- now with the bean i keep thinking “oh well, this will pass eventually” with things.
    and now back to self-diagnosing thrush? or just an overenthusiastic barracuda baby who is chomping me raw with this mandated feeding every 2 hours to increase his weight…sigh…

  18. Can we include going to sleep with a bottle (baby in arms, not given bottle alone), since that’s basically the same suck-comfort-sleep connection? My daughter went down with a bottle for every nap and bedtime and night waking until she was about 9 months old. At that point she stopped falling asleep on the bottle at bedtime but still needed someone to lie down with her until she fell asleep. She is now nearly 18 months old and I still lie down with her to help her get to sleep. She was waking once a night asking for a bottle (this one usually just water or an ounce of milk with a few ounces of water) but the last few weeks she’s been sleeping straight through or waking up and fussing for few minutes and then going back to sleep.However, she does still need a bottle and music to fall asleep for her nap. We’re contemplating putting her in daycare soon and I’m thinking we’ll just let the daycare provider solve that situation.

  19. We bottle-fed from early on. My son is almost 13 months old, and until a few weeks ago he fell asleep while on the bottle most nights. One evening, at around 11.5 months, he finished his bottle and started squirming and crying. Like crazy crying. My husband didn’t know what to do since that was so very unusual. I suggested just putting him in his crib, where he promptly rolled over and went to sleep.Since that night he hasn’t fellen asleep in our arms at bedtime, but usually goes down easily once we feed him and put him in his crib. This was not my idea and I miss the extended snuggling at the end of the day. Sometimes he likes a few minutes of cuddling and rocking, but often he just wants to go to bed. I have no immediate plans to cut out the bedtime bottle since he still finishes it most nights and obviously wants to drink it.

  20. My little girl is still nursing to sleep (for naps and bedtime, and several times during the night) at 18+ months. We’re starting to talk about night weaning, looking at Dr. Jay Gordon’s method in particular. I’m actually okay with one or two night wakings, but it would be nice to have her go to bed without me. That’s actually going to be what we try first. I feel guilty because the main reason I am starting to want this now is so that I can go to a friend’s bachelorette party. It sounds horribly selfish to want to change what the baby does so that I can go to some party, but there you have it. (And my friend totally understands that I might not be able to attend, but we have been friends for almost 20 years now, and I hate to let her down.)

  21. I stopped nursing my daughter to sleep at about 8 months because it was taking FOREVER. At first I’d sneak in a pacifier when she was half asleep and that would get her to sleep faster (maybe the swallowing was keeping her awake?), then I tried bouncing her on the exercise ball with the pacifier, now at 9 months we’re singing her to sleep with the pacifier. I wish she’d quickly nurse to sleep like she did a while back, but it just doesn’t work well anymore.

  22. I’m no use on the nursing to sleep at night data point- we stopped that when she was very young (5 months? I can’t remember) because it just wasn’t working for her. She slept better if she had a little more time between eating and sleeping. I think this was related to her issues with gas. For a little while at about 14 months, she started demanding to be nursed right before she went to sleep, sometimes dropping off while nursing- she dropped that on her own after a month and I still have no idea what was up with that.I nursed her down for naps quite frequently until she was about 9 or 10 months old. She didn’t always want this, and then at about 10 months old it just stopped working.
    I still nurse her back to sleep in the middle of the night. She’s almost 16 months old now. Sometimes she’ll go back to sleep without it, but sometimes she screams until I nurse her. So mostly, I just go nurse her because that is easiest.
    I will say that she seems to be changing her preferences on her bedtime routine right now. I wonder if babies go through phases of what works, regardless of what the technique is? Right now, Pumpkin still needs to be walked/rocked mostly to sleep (this takes less than 10 minutes most nights). I think she is working towards going down without this, and to be honest, I’m a little sad about that. I’ll miss the cuddle time.

  23. My first nursed to sleep. And since I had almost no milk (poor starved chicken!) he nursed a lot over night. We weaned at 23 mths.I would not say he required nursing to go to sleep at any age, but boyo was it ever a very useful tool! In fact, that is one of the bonuses of nursing and how it is supposed to work: you put the boob in their mouth, oxytocin and endorphins start flowing, you and baby get sleepy. It’s a chemical reaction that most nursing moms use to their advantage .
    After we stopped nursing, we cuddled to sleep every night in a family bed. I liked and encouraged this. I wanted my son to sleep when he was tired and I’d cuddle him if he was having trouble settling to encourage stillness so he could calm down enough to fall asleep. Many people said I was spoiling him and ruining his sleep and that he would NEVER (love those absolutes!) be able to sleep on his own.
    Well, now, at 5, he puts himself to bed every night. And, when school is on, he happily hops into bed at a decent time and needs no bargaining, cajoling, pleading or trickery. I attribute this to the fact that he is strongly attuned to knowing when he is tired and going to sleep then. Sometimes that is 6:30pm and sometimes it’s 10:00pm.
    And, when his brother was born a year ago, he switched to his own bed with no fuss at all. Even if I invite him to snuggle with me and my youngest, he won’t, preferring to sleep solo now – though he loves a family snuggle in the mornings πŸ™‚
    Knowing a lot of AP families who nurse to sleep, co-sleep, cuddle to sleep, etc, I have observed that nursing to sleep DOES NOT lead to sleep dependency issues and that children who are encouraged to sleep on a flexible schedule that they establish will have very healthy sleep habits as they grow.

  24. My Imp is 18 months now, we still nurse before bed, but not nurse to sleep. He stopped nursing to sleep probably around 10 months (if I remember). He nursed just the same but stayed awaked instead of drifting. So we found new ways of getting to sleep, and he actually became pretty good at getting himself to sleep. We just went through a blip which I emailed Moxie about where he wanted to nurse to sleep again. I didn’t like it because he wanted to nurse for 1/2 an hour or more and it was making my nipples sore and I was getting frustrated, so I stopped him after 10 mins, which would be about his normal feed and tried to get him to bed another way. It was disastrous for about a week, then it went back to normal again last night. So here’s hoping. I’m thinking about weaning but it’s just too hard at hte moment. I am heartened by the fact that some kids can nurse or not nurse and not be bothered. I’d really like to go out and just let Daddy do the bedtime occassionally.

  25. 2 data points for me:Baby 1, hard-core nurse-to-sleep boy. He was also really into music, and at about 15 months wanted to listen to the stereo softly at bedtime (on endless repeat of a “bedtime CD” we made). So I would nurse, then put him to bed awake and he would listen to music until he fell asleep. No drama at all, much to my surprise.
    Baby 2, less of an avid nurser (but still going strong at 15 months). At about 13 months, she would arch and pull away from me after she finished nursing. I can now just recognize that she’s done, pop in a binkie, and she goes right to sleep in her crib. All her idea, and I’m still astounded and grateful!

  26. Both my kids nursed to sleep. My older daughter nursed until I finally “weaned by abandonment” when she was 28 months old by leaving her home while I went to St. Thomas for a week (Best Way To Wean, hands down). She nursed to sleep for, oh, the first year and a half or so, but then she’d nurse a bit, and I would read to her or list all the people who love her (“Gramma loves you, Daddy loves you, the dog loves you…” etc.) while lying beside each other. Now, at 35 months, we read two books and then we’re quiet, but I still hold her until she falls asleep.Her little sister is much less attached to nursing, and although she still nurses at 16 months, she has never been a big “nurse to sleeper”. I think we realized somewhere around 8 or 9 months that she preferred to have Daddy rock her to sleep, so she will nurse while Daddy reads her big sis a story, then I read sis’s second story while Daddy rocks her to sleep.
    Each child is different, but as with all things in parenting, this stage won’t last forever. If it’s working for Mom and it’s working for Baby, it’s no one else’s business. Tell the backpushers to mind their own beeswax (unless it’s Dad, in which case let him try to get the unhappy baby to bed on his own for a few nights, and after that he’ll either be successful and then Mom’s out of the bedtime business, or he’ll be tearing out his hair and stop criticizing).
    Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

  27. My baby nursed at night until 14.25 months. Sometimes she’d fall asleep while nursing, but not often. I don’t think she has ever been wedded to a certain routine at night, as long as I am very calming. Some nights are easy and some aren’t. If nursing to sleep is working and the baby is staying asleep most of the night, I’d be happy.

  28. My son (now 19 months) nursed all the way to sleep at bedtime until around 13-14 months, at which point he started popping off when he was done, and pointing vaguely in the direction of his cot (we co-sleep-ish — co-slept the whole night until he crawled off the bed in his sleep while we weren’t in the room. Twice. Now he’s in his cot until he wakes around 2:00, then he asks to come into bed with us). If I put him down right away after he pops off the boob, he will just bounce around the cot, grinning like mad, so I usually rock him until he’s sleepy, and then put him down, awake but not hyper. So, he stopped the nursing to sleep all by himself.Other info: he will still (half the time?) nurse all the way to sleep at naptime (but doesn’t need to, because he’ll fall asleep without nursing or rocking or anything at nursery, which he goes to one day a week); we nightweaned at around 17 months, which kind of stuck (he gets his “morning” feed when he wakes at 4 — not ideal, but we haven’t had much luck pushing it later); he *was* somewhat dayweaned (only naptime, bedtime, and morning) until this past weekend when it all went out the window because he came down with a nasty tummy bug and we were back to all breast milk all the time.

  29. unfortunately, one of the reasons why I initiated weaning at about 16 months for my son was the going-to-sleep feedings. I was just.so.tired.ugh. because it was a new school year, (I’m a teacher), and I couldn’t bear it. Weaning was the only way I could get my husband to share bedtime routine duties πŸ™ My husband is terrific but his understanding of my nursing needs at that point was diminishing, (extra sleep, extra nutritious food, extra water, time…) I still feel a bit bad about this but he is now 3+ and very healthy and happy so I ought to cut myself some slack I suppose πŸ™‚

  30. I have to say, that I nursed my son until he was two-and-a-half years old, with no end in sight. Finally I had to stop, so my husband took him on a ten-day-long trip while my milk production dried up. At four years old, he still is very fond of my “milks” and would like to play with them while falling asleep!

  31. Ok, are we talking nursed TO sleep or just nursed before bed? Nursed to sleep seemed like it stopped around eight months or so? Nursed before bed until 15 months, then gave it up on her own, also very abruptly.I think a lot of the reason people make these sorts of comments (I imagine it is partners and/ or grandparents, but maybe I am projecting?) is that there is a jealousy about the mother/ child bond from other family members. Or, if we are being generous, a concern for the mother’s well-being. But I am curious what the motivation for making these sorts of comments is, if anyone out there knows.

  32. My boy is 9.5 months and we nurse last thing but he only falls asleep about half of the time, the rest of the time I just put him to bed in his crib and he goes to sleep on his own. Naps are the same, sometimes he falls asleep sometimes not. I have been able to put him down awake since he was about 4 months old.

  33. Nursed to sleep and coslept with many many wakings until about 8.5 months, when nursing to sleep became such a fraught process we needed a change. He would kick me and push me away, roll on his tummy and nurse to the side, anything to not be close to me while going to sleep. At the same point in time, we moved him from our bed to a crib in the other bedroom–daddy now does the final bedtime stretch and when there are no incidents of teething, growing, cognitive changes, he goes to sleep without a peep and sleeps well on his own. I would have nursed him to sleep several to many times a night until college if he hadn’t started this whole kicking and wiggling routine, which in hindsight I think was him telling me that it was time for him to have a sleeping space of his own.

  34. We’re still nursing to sleep at 2 yrs 3 months, though he finally started spontaneously sleeping through the night just after he turned two. The only way to get him to sleep without me is to take him for a walk in the stroller, and then transfer him later when he’s out cold, but even then he sometimes wakes and needs a boob to get back to sleep.I wouldn’t mind except that I’m five months pregnant and don’t know how we’ll keep doing it when the new baby comes. Maybe he’ll have weaned by then. Or we’ll figure something out.

  35. I nursed my son down to sleep at night most nights until about 9 months. Then it stopped working, so we both walked/rocked him to sleep.Then it worked again. Then it stopped. Starting around 15 months he would still nurse, but then talk/sing/sleep on his own.
    We more or less nightweaned around 18 months, and it had no impact. He still wakes up in the night some nights, chats, gets a hug, goes back to sleep. It’s very short and peaceful, but he likes to check in that we’re still around.
    Around age 2 I had to go away for work and he went to sleep no problem, no nurse whatsoever.
    Basically he was never really an addict. πŸ™‚ I’m hoping this is a lifelong personality trait. I can’t take credit for it though. My son has so much trouble going to sleep that if nursing had done it consistently we’d’ve stuck with it.

  36. My son is 2.7 yo and nurses to sleep every time. If I’m not around, he melts down for a couple of hours before passing out. I am pregnant and only producing colostrum at this point, btw.

  37. My data: I have twins, and nursed both down for as long as possible. Actually, I only *started* nursing down around 6 months- before that I had been convinced it was evil. ha! nursing down is bliss. Anyway, J stopped falling asleep on the boob consistently around 12 months. N has only recently stopped, at 16 months. He will still fall asleep on the boob if he’s really tired, but it can take a while. I actually think in his case it *is* related to naps, since I recently weaned both from the nap-time nursing to sleep. I really thought N would never be able to fall asleep without boob. In fact he can’t, if I’m in the room, but does it fine with Dad.

  38. my oldest nursed to sleep for ALL her sleep for the first three months. after that, her SAHD gave her bottles for naps but naps were sporadic; nursing her to sleep was still most effective. it stopped being necessary at around 6 months, which i think had to do with the introduction of solids and her burgeoning interest in things other than mama and her breast. btw, this kid also completely self-weaned just a few weeks before her first birthday.

  39. Oh and I would say to parents of young babies–there’s a lot of that “she/he will never if” advice that is well meant but stings for the freshman parent. If it’s possible, tune it out. If not and you feel you need to respond, feel free to lie, nod and smile, or say whatever works for you.

  40. With my daughter, now 3, she nursed to sleep until she was 29 months. I never made any effort to change this. However, starting at 17 months, she could fall asleep on her own just fine if I wasn’t around. Around 29 months, I was very pregnant with #2 and we started incorporating books and cuddling into our bedtime routine and then she just didn’t need to nurse anymore.

  41. B. stopped nursing to sleep very early, something like 3 weeks.But if it changes the data, he nursed back to sleep after night-waking until he was almost a year old. And he only stopped because we imposed a night weaning plan on him.

  42. My DS is 18+ months and loves_my_boobs. 98% of the time he nurses to sleep for naps and bedtime. The other 2% (when I am not around) Dad waits until he falls asleep on his own, usually cuddling while watching TV or stroking his head/face. We co-sleep as well and although the crib is next to our bed and DS usually starts out the night there, he comes into our bed when waking during the night since nursing is the ONLY way to efficiently soothe him back to sleep. I tried sneaking a “suckie” into his mouth before falling asleep and he hates it.I do get resentful that I don’t have my own space to sleep and that I am the only one able to put him to sleep. When I get that way I try to schedule some me-time and I’m good for another couple of weeks.
    I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But what we do works for the most sleep for all concerned. Except for a few weeks after birth I have never considered myself sleep-deprived.
    Interesting reading about other people’s experiences. It proves that every kid has different and unique needs. Moms can stop beating themselves up because as far as I am concerned, if your kid is not broken at the end of the day(or night), you’ve done a good job.

  43. my oldest nursed to sleep until 18 months then i went out of town and when i came back he was done. my youngest (who is 18 months now) still nurses 3-4 times a day/night. he nurses before nap and bed but can go to sleep without me.

  44. Mouse nursed to sleep most nights until I weaned her at 2 years. She sporadically went through longer and longer stretches of not needing it, but if things got rough in some way (illness, developmental spurt, etc.) she’d go back to it. Since she never in her life took a bottle or paci (she started with a sippy when I went back to work at 6 mos but I didn’t feel that that offered the sucking comfort she seemed to need–she was a super sucky baby who would nurse for 45 minutes at a time) I just went with it. I fretted a lot about whether I was spoiling her or a weak mom or whatever, but it seemed to work for us. She went down independently for naps at daycare from 8 months on, but continued to nurse down at home (rolling nap being the only other thing that worked) until weaning. After weaning, no home naps except once or twice during illness. Fine with us–she didn’t really need naps after 2 and it was actually a hassle that daycare continued to enforce them. (She’s a low-sleep-need kid.)Mouse is now 4 years 3 mos. About half the time, she asks for a parent to stay with her until she falls asleep, which usually takes 5 or 10 minutes. We’re fine with that.

  45. My daughter nursed to sleep for naps and bedtime until about 7/8 months old. Then, she would still nurse for sleepytimes, but she would pull off and get a little fussy. I interpreted that as ‘please lay me down so that I can go to sleep now,’ and, lo and behold, that was the case. She has put herself to sleep ever since then – for naps, after nursing & for bedtime after books and nursing. I should also mention here that she still night-nursed until about 8.5 months, when we implemented the ‘chair method’ (or gradual extinction, or ‘assisted crying’) method of sleep coaching. Because she was already adept at self-soothing and was clearly ready for the switch, it only took us 2 nights and about 3 hours of crying total.

  46. @ Nicole; I think the reason (in my case, anyway) for the comments is that they are ignorant about the nursing mother/baby relationship. I think to many members of my family who formula/bottle fed their children and had them all sleeping in their own cribs in their own rooms since birth, they see the nursing a 22 month old as nursing a “big kid” and having him sleep in bed with us is just more than they can wrap their minds around it would seem.Sometimes when I am over at my in laws and my guy is nursing they will make comments to him like, “you shouldn’t be doing that! No!” like he’s doing something wrong. So while I am trying to wean (and quickly because I’m pregnant and in pain over here!) I really don’t appreciate him almost being scolded for doing something that is so comforting and natural to him.
    Anyway, I got a little off topic there, but that has been my personal experience. And thanks to all the responders (and Moxie for the question) I am taking notes for #2!

  47. Moxie – you have perfect timing, as always. Tonight was going to be THE NIGHT for ending the going-to-sleep nursing but after reading these comments, I’m reconsidering. My son is a few days shy of 15 months and up until now he has nursed to sleep every night of his life. I haven’t minded it at all, and he loves it. He sleeps through the night (consistently from about 12 months). He used to nurse down for all his naps but he was gradually weaned from that about 1 month ago. Now he tends to take his naps in the stroller.My ‘reason’ for thinking that I’d end the bed time nursing tonight was that we are trying for #2 and I had a vague sense that he ‘should’ be learning to go to sleep on his own. But, he loves his ‘drink with Mommy’, as we call it, and it is a fast, easy, comforting way to drift off so perhaps I’ll leave it and see whether he gives it up on his own sometime in the next few months. I’m reading all posts with great interest. Any advice very welcome.

  48. Can I just say that I hate that kind of “advice” from people? Seriously, if I hear the words never or always, I tune it out.Anyway, I nursed 3 kids to sleep until it no longer worked. I think it was somewhere between 8-10 months for each of them. If your baby is going to sleep easily and you are fine with it, don’t change a thing, I say!

  49. My daughter -nearly 3 now – has always been a poor sleeper, and I nursed her to sleep until about 4 mos. ago because it was the only was to get her to sleep reliably, and I was hoping to create pleasant feelings about bedtime/sleep.I am a big cheerleader for breast-feeding, but I have to admit that there came a time – maybe when she got to be around 2? – that I really felt that I had failed her by nursing her to sleep for so long, by creating a nursing-sleep association that made sleeping for all of us very difficult. She was unable to fall asleep without me, I was miserable because of the 2 yrs of night feedings, and it made her father feel that he didn’t have a role in bedtime. Finally I was ready enough to make a change that I could withstand the 2+ hours of seisuze-like freak-outs when we switched to nursing before bed for 10 minutes, then putting her into her bed to read her to sleep. (Luckily her distress was much diminished the second night, and quickly a thing of the past.) Soon after we phased out night-nursing, which went much easier, but she still wakes at night and will only allow me to put her back to bed, and she still nurses between bathtime and bedtime reading. I want to let her decide when to give up this last feeding for good, but I am so jealous of those whose children just stopped nursing at some point. It is hard not to feel that I’ve unintentionally created some sort of dependency that makes it difficult for her to let go.
    I’m feeling like we are finally making progress on sleep, but I wish we’d started all this when she was much younger. My guilt was not helped when at a recent trip to the dentist she had 4 cavities, in a pattern that led the dentist to assume that I’d left her to fall asleep with a bottle in her mouth.
    I wouldn’t tell others not to nurse their children to sleep, but I do wish I’d heard more voices that were pro-bf-ing while cautioning against nursing (older) babies to sleep.

  50. Joshua nursed to sleep for naps and bed until we forced the issue at about 12 months. Clare stopped nursing for naps and bed at about 10 months. Now she nurses before bed, but my husband rocks her to sleep. She won’t even let me put her to bed anymore. It has to bed him for both naps and bedtime. Luckily he’s a university professor, so that’s OK for right now, but it should be interesting come fall!

  51. I haven’t read all the comments, but I’ll add my experience to the clamor…P nursed to sleep for a long time, like over 3 years. It worked for us and I only had brief temporary spells of wanting to claw my eyes out if Anyone Ever Touched Me Again!
    She stopped on her own, gradually, and to be perfectly honest once in a while still (at almost 5) takes a little sip or two.

  52. My daughter was a very enthusiastic nurser and a very bad sleeper until about 27 months old. She nursed to sleep until she was 27 months old (and usually needed to nurse back to sleep several times a night)–about that time I was 3 months pregnant with #2 she would nurse for a few minutes at bedtime and then roll away and want story time to fall asleep. She continued nursing to sleep for naps almost everyday for about another 4-6 weeks. She’s now 30 months old and falls asleep on her own and FINALLY sleeps all night. We had tried a few gentle night weaning strategies around 20 months, but it wasn’t working so we let her just go until she was ready. It was truly amazing how easy it was when she was ready.

  53. It is so unfair how new parents are led to believe that nursing to sleep is wrong. It is the most natural thing in the world, and you should not be made to feel guilty about it! I’ve lost count of the number of friends I have had this conversation with. My three kids followed the same pattern, give or take a couple of months. Day weaning from breast to cup about 10 mo. Night weaning about 13-14 mo. I weaned them when I had had enough – just cut down the feeding length, then just rocking in the same chair, and into bed awake but sleepy. People can get so freaked out about making changes/breaking habits, but you can break almost any habit in a baby/toddler if YOU want to. I think it’s totally misleading to make new parents think that every decision they make will affect their child for ever and ever. Do what feels right and habits can be brokenif necessary.

  54. My son stopped nursing to sleep on his own around nine months. It was abrupt and not expected. He would still nurse sometime after dinner (he was doing a few solids at this point) and bedtime but had no interest once we were back in his room for night-night.

  55. My 19-month-old daughter still wants to nurse right before bed at night. I put her in bed when she’s finished nursing, usually when she’s drowsy but not totally asleep.At naptime she goes to sleep just fine when I’m not around but at night it’s a different ball game. She has a difficult time going to bed at night without me and she tends to wake more often during the night. Just my observations.

  56. We nursed at bedtime til he was about 16 months, but that didn’t mean he “nursed to sleep,” since he usually switched to a pacifier after the first 5 minutes or so. We continued to hold/rock him until asleep and then moved him to crib.Of course, every time he work up in the night, he wanted to be held/nursed/comforted back to sleep. So at 16 months, we were still getting up several times in the night.
    Finally got him to go to sleep on his own (instead of being HELD) by switching the bedtime routine to his dad.
    I think the issue isn’t “nursing to sleep,” it’s just sleep associations. If you don’t mind getting up with the kid all night long, or he gets himself back to sleep after the initial bedtime session, then stick to what you’re doing. You only have to change if it isn’t working for YOU, regardless of what others say.

  57. FWIW, my doctor said she had to “cuddle” her daughter to sleep until she was 10. So, whatever you’re doing may not last forever, but if the kid sees no reason to change the bedtime routine, and you want to, you’re going to have to be the one to instigate the change.

  58. 7.5 months for my DD. It was a pretty sudden thing, but seemed to coincide with her breastfeeding less during the day, my first period, and eating more solids. She always wanted the pacifier after that, though, for nighttime and naps.Love your blog, Moxie!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  59. I haven’t nursed my daugher to sleep since she was just a few weeks old, but I can’t claim credit for that. She nothing if not a good sleeper (until very recently…oy) and starting around 4-6 weeks would doze at the end of the nursing session but then wake enough to need to be rocked for a minute before being put down.Not sure what I would have done had she gotten into the habit of falling asleep while nursing every night. My husband does any/all night feedings, when it happens (the baby is 7 months now), and I *still* feel like I’m the primary parent (an unpleasant feeling for me) partly because 95% of what she eats/drinks is breast milk. The nursing/pumping/nursing/pumping/oh-my-god-we’re-out-of-frozen-breastmilk cycle is really getting to me. OH – I’ve gone way off topic!!
    I totally get why folks don’t want to be told they have to “train” their babies not the fall asleep on the breast, but I also get why some folks do encourage their babies to fall asleep on their own. I’m fairly certain I would have encouraged her to fall asleep on her own, if possible. I guess my point is sort of moot if babies are falling asleep at a bottle, then it doesn’t have to be the nursing mother who handles it all.
    This was not what you were looking for, I realize, but I thought I’d offer my thougts anyway!

  60. At one year I’d started to wean by lowering my pumping schedule at work but was still happily nursing my DD to sleep. However, a bottle of breast milk or someone snuggling her would work too, when I wasn’t around.Then when DD was about 16 mos. she started dozing off during her book or song prior to her last nurse. I was delighted by this for weaning purposes, and that was it for nursing to sleep. Or so I thought. . .
    HOWEVER, about two to three weeks later she started demanding to nurse to sleep again. Alas, but that point my breasts (and my sanity) did not agree. So my husband came up with the idea of giving her some cow’s milk before bed. At 2.5, we are still dealing with the fact that to get to sleep, and whenever she wakes up at night, DD wants milk. (That crash in my supply led her to call for milk at night too when before she had night nursed). We transitioned her to water for the late-night wake-ups, but she still needs the bottle (or two) of milk to go to sleep nine nights out of ten. We literally bring up a small cooler every night with drinks. She also needs the bottle for naps. (But of course, she goes down just fine without at daycare. . .).
    So at 2.5, after about a year, we’re holding out for a child-led stoppage for what is pretty clearly a substitute for night-nursing and nursing to sleep when she is with us– my mom doesn’t seem to have the milk at night problem when DD sleeps over.
    The good thing about all this is that my husband and I can trade off who wakes up at night rather than it always being me. This has gone a LONG way toward restoring my sanity and health. And my cousin, the dentist, is sweetly keeping his mouth shut– so far, DD’s teeth are handling the milk just fine, but we’re working on transitioning to water for everything.

  61. My daughter is 38 months old and still nurses to sleep at night when I’m around, but she can go to sleep with her father by her side when I’m out of town. She also can put herself to sleep for nap time at daycare. I honestly don’t see any rush to wean her, though if I were pregnant, I might feel differently about it; tandem nursing sounds stressful. We co-sleep and our kid is in daycare. Nighttime nursing is an opportunity for bonding when we’re together. I have no patience for the folks who tell me weaning needs to happen according to a schedule. Luckily, if such folks are part of my life, they know to keep this particular opinion to themselves.

  62. I nursed my son (now 19 months) to sleep until he was about 6-7 months old. Around then he would just start to wiggle around like a maniac and it no longer worked.Then there was a long long long long time when he would get rocked and then patted for a very long time to get him to stay asleep. Just this month we’ve been successful with telling him to lie down, patting his mattress and sitting down on the floor next to his crib.
    So… in our case it took about a year past nursing to sleep that the little guy has been able to go to sleep somewhat on his own. He’s had a lot of other barriers to falling and staying asleep (severe reflux, serious respiratory problems which had him coughing constantly for 13 months straight.) so I don’t know what our data points count for.

  63. I still nurse my 13 month old son before he goes to bed, but he doesn’t rely on it. For us, it was all about sending his boobless father in to help him. He got the sense that if the boobs were gone, nursing wasn’t going to happen. Its all about individual personalities of course, but he seemed ok with that.This didn’t work at first, of course. First we shook up his bedtime routine ever so slightly. I know keeping the routine is important, but we might do bath – PJs – nurse -then story books.. so there was a space between nursing and crib time. My son still got the milk and the cuddle, but it wasn’t the last thing he did before actually getting in the crib. Eventually Dad just rocked him or gave him a sippy cup of water/milk, and now my son will tolerate either of us being the last one he sees before hitting the sack. I still love to nurse him right before bed, so most nights we keep it up. But if I want to go out before bedtime, my husband can put him to bed, which is nice. So in my experience involvement of the husband or a partner that isn’t nursing was the biggest help.

  64. My son stopped nursing to sleep for the night around 8 or 9 months, I think, but nursing is still part of our bedtime routine at 15 months. We nurse/rock/sing and then he goes into the crib awake. My husband has been able to put him to sleep without me, though, so no nursing is not a dealbreaker.He does still wake up between 4:00 and 5:00 in the morning (any advice about dealing with that?) and nurses back to sleep or to drowsiness before getting up for the day between 6:00 and 6:30.

  65. Around 13 of 14 months (and maybe one other time period around 8 months?), the Pumpkin would nurse but then stop and still be awake. I would walk/rock her till she was asleep. this went on for a few weeks.But then, she starting nursing to sleep again. Now at 16 months, most night she nurses to sleep, but sometimes I might also have to walk/rock/nurse again/etc. to get her to sleep.
    She does take a bottle to go down for naps, and hubby gives her a bottle one night a week to put her to bed (and give me a break). Usually, he has to walk/rock her after the bottle.
    So, it’s been in phases for us, but overall she’s not weaned from nursing to sleep yet. She has always had a tough time falling asleep and cannot do it on her own EVER. Yet. Cause someday she will, right? RIGHT??

  66. I’m still nursing to sleep my 20 month boy for naps and night time. He still wakes at least twice during the night to nurse- just for comfort it seems. I’m sleeping next to him. For naps I nurse him to sleep and leave him in the bed by himself.I nursed my daughter to sleep until she was 2 1/2 years old. I was pregnant with my son and so we said goodbye to the nursing to sleep together- we counted down the nights from one week. Then we bought her a bike that she wanted. I continued to lie next to her to fall asleep without nursing her until I could no longer lie there comfortably because of my pregnant stomach. Then Daddy took over and lay next to her to fall asleep, then we moved to holding her hand to fall asleep and then at about 3 or almost 3 1/2 she went to sleep by herself. Now at four 1/2 she falls asleep easily and happily on her own after books etc.
    I have always liked nursing them to sleep because they always fall asleep so easily and it’s a nice down time for me, too!

  67. I thought I should add:I always read my daughter a book without letting her nurse while we were reading it so that then once she was weaned from nursing to sleep, I still read her the book lying next to her so that way most of her night time routine stayed the same. We tried to do everything with transitions- no big abrupt changes. I’m doing the same with my son now. Reading a book and then nursing to sleep so that I can drop the nursing to sleep eventually.

  68. I nursed my daughter to sleep until I weaned her at two and a half years.She never really napped again, but was able to fall asleep at night in her crib with only a small transition time. Prior to weaning, she would ONLY sleep if she was nursed (or sometimes in the car).

  69. I nursed my daughter to sleep until I weaned her at two and a half years.She never really napped again, but was able to fall asleep at night in her crib with only a small transition time. Prior to weaning, she would ONLY sleep if she was nursed (or sometimes in the car).

  70. My youngest never nursed to sleep either. From birth she wanted to nurse, detach, cuddle and play for a minute, then fall asleep. Strange thing is that she’s more attached to nursing now (13 months) than her older sister was at the same age.My oldest nursed to sleep until around 9 months. At that point she’d nurse, fall asleep, I’d lay her down then she’d wake up over and over again. We let her cry it out one night, and she never nursed to sleep again.

  71. Not sure how helpful this is but thought I’d put my data point out there ;)My son (now 2.5) nursed to sleep for about 3 months. He then would fall asleep on the breast but wake as soon as I moved him to his cot, so that didn’t work for us after that. He self-weaned at 15months.
    My daughter (now 13mo) nursed to sleep until she was 9.5 months old. She self-weaned around that time (the night feed was the last one she dropped) but only because she was ‘pushed’ by an easier alternative, as she was prescribed high-energy formula due to appallingly low weight gain (attributed to previously undiagnosed silent reflux). After an initial rocky start with bottles, she got on far better with them than she ever did with breastfeeding. Funnily enough, she has always been a MUCH better sleeper than my son, and has never given us a problem going down to sleep when awake (after self-weaning from nursing to sleep).

  72. I had one kid who would squirm wildly, then return to nursing and fall asleep within minutes, so when I decided to cut out the nursing-to-sleep, it was just a matter of not allowing a return to nursing after The Squirm. That was at about 18 months.I also had one who nursed to sleep off and on until about 2 years, 4 months. It’s not just how long they want to do it, but when they get to an easily nudgeable stage, if you’re amenable to nudging but not forcing.

  73. My son is just a few days shy of being 19 months old and he still nurses before naptime and bedtime. He used to nurse only during those times until 16 mos, but then started adding more sessions as he approached 18 mos.Anyway, he doesn’t really fall asleep nursing…it’s more like it helps him unwind and get drowsy. He’s still awake and smiling when I put him in the bed…he’s got a lovey he’s attached to and music he enjoys. Sometimes he will fall asleep at the breast but it’s been rare since about 10-11 months.
    We’re just now sort of coming out of the 18 month sleep regression so naps and nightime sleep are still off. I plan on initiating weaning sometime around 21-22 months in hopes that it would go smoother than trying it right now.

  74. My son nursed to sleep until the day he weaned himself…at 13.5 months when he chose a smoothie over me. πŸ˜‰ I never stressed about it because any sleep is good sleep! I am still nursing my 6.5 month old daughter to sleep about 1/2 the time. The other 1/2 she just passes out.

  75. My son (now 22 months) nursed to sleep until around 10 months, he stopped falling asleep while nursing, except at nap time which stopped around 13 months. Then we would nurse before bed until 16.5 months. We had stopped nursing overnight at 15 months and would give him a glass of milk if he would wake up asking for milk. Then one day he asked for a glass of milk rather than to nurse to sleep. I was 4 months pregnant so had pretty much dried up by then. But it made the transition pretty effortless.

  76. E is 19 months and still nurses to sleep, both at bedtime and for naps. She also nurses 1-3 times through the night. She CAN fall asleep without nursing, but needs to be held/walked.I am curious about weaning and sleep training for when she hits two. Any suggestions, in addition to Dr. Gordon’s method which I know nothing about?

  77. @Nicol, I wrote a little book to help wean my 2-year-old a couple years ago–talking about it was key, and reading the book for a couple weeks helped a lot. Link in my sig goes to a page where you can reach me if you’d like a copy.

  78. A big thanks to Charisse for the nursing book idea and template. I made a version of it for T. when we night-weaned, and it went incredibly well – several days of prep and discussion (at age 25 months), followed by one 30-minute period of struggle (the first time he awoke on the first night). After that, backrubs, handholding, and snuggling have helped for the few teething-related wakings we’ve had.Anyone who wants a copy of the text – I did it in iPhoto so not sure how to share the book template – can e-mail me at lisa AT ampedit DOT com.

  79. oh – nursing-to-sleep data point:T. slept terribly most of the first year, and it only got worse until we fixed the severe anemia (aha) at 11 months. By then, nursing to sleep – the only way that had worked – was pretty well ingrained. I was fine with it (just soooo happy to be waking only 2x/night vs. 8x).
    Around 18 months, he started “popping off” and snuggling himself to sleep about half the time. We tried to encourage this further into not nursing to sleep at all, but no go – he’d repeatedly zonk out on the boob before pop-off. So again just went with it – it was fast and reliable, though it did cramp my evening plans a bit. By this time, he was waking once or twice per night (usually once at 3 AM), at which point I’d bring him into our bed, nurse 5 minutes, and he’d sleep.
    We night-weaned with very little difficulty at 25 months (see above post), at which point he slept through the night (8ish-6ish) in his own bed. He still (30 months) nurses at bedtime, naptime, and when he wakes up. Not doing much to change this right now, but I suspect the naptime nurse may change/fade out once he starts preschool in Sept. and learns (I hope) to fall asleep there sans boob.

  80. My older son nursed to sleep – with music, which we gradually shortened each night – til about 18 mo, and then we snuggled and lay with him til he slept. We had inspiration and moved him out of the crib, so it was a “big boy” transition all around.He’s now 5 and sleeps great, though we still lie down with him most nights. When we *have* to, or when he is inspired, he goes to sleep by himself. But I love the snuggling – those crazy comments, the end of day disgorge.
    Son No. 2 is almost 19 mo and only goes to sleep nursing, naps and nighttime, and waking in the night. I get angry! But he’s having a bear of a time teething, had whooping cough, and the household is stressed over older brother’s autism. So I try and be patient and pray for the developmental stage where he’s eager to do it on his own.
    I have a lot of pressure from my mom to wean him and we’re about to visit her – egad – but she means well. If she witnessed the two-hour screamfests when we try alternatives, she’d back down fast. And since we’re about to travel, it’s a lousy time to initiate any changes.
    There’s hope; we have gotten him to sleep w/o but I find he wakes more often and is clingier and more aggressive when we lead the weaning.
    I nursed my older son while pregnant with the little one and it does hurt, but lanolin helps a bunch. We did the out-of-town weaning method with him finally, and while he thought he wanted boob time when I got back, he just bit me and I told him (he was 3 yrs 3 mo by then) (though he was going to sleep w/o nursing by then, it was just comfort nursing) “when you bite me you are telling me you are done with nursing. All done!” and he accepted it. But as someone else noted, I waited ’til he could understand as we talked it out.
    My little guy is very passionate and has a hot temper so I dread cutting him off. I really pray he goes off on his own … time to cue the music again, like we did before, and I sit there night after night wondering why I haven’t done it yet. In part, I think it’s b/c I got SO damn tired of the tunes we chose!
    Does everyone have this indecision and self-questioning??

  81. My daughter (16 months) still nurses in bed as part of her bedtime routine, but often doesn’t fall asleep while nursing. So I just lie with her after we’re done nursing until she does fall asleep.My son nursed to sleep until he was 29 months old. The bedtime nursing session was the last one that he gave up. He is now 3.5 yrs and still needs to be parented to sleep (i.e. DH sits in his room and reads while he goes to sleep), but I think he is ready to learn to go to sleep on his own…..DH just needs the will and patience to work on changing the process. Right now I think he’s happy to sit there and read his book!

  82. It’s so encouraging to read all these comments as our 16-month old still really enjoys breastfeeding (mostly at bedtime and night wakings). Although I think for him, it’s all about the comfort and closeness; as he has little affinity for milk (cow’s or breast or any combo thereof) while he’s awake and generally only tolerates milk from a bottle at naps because mom is not around.My question is this: I’m all for going with the flow, but am concerned because we’re contemplating baby #2 and my period has yet to return. Any tips on maintaining a breastfeeding relationship with the nursling while trying for #2? Or if the bf must stop, what’s the best way to transition?

  83. data points…eldest nursed down most of the time until around 2, then would nurse, but stay awake and drift off on his own, some of the time – but still nursed down off and on until 3 1/4 (when he weaned). Note, he had silent reflux, so nursing down was self-medicating.
    second nursed down for about a year, I think, but even before then it wasn’t ‘totally out’ down, it was ‘until done, then roll away from me and out like a light’.
    twins nursed down for a long time, too – but I honestly don’t recall how long. I stopped caring enough to pay attention. At that point I knew they’d stop eventually, so … and maybe them being twins also made it less of a concern – whatever it takes, who am I to insist on something other than what works?

  84. Ahh…a timely post for me as always with Moxie. We just hit the one-year mark here, and my bean still nurses to sleep if she’s very very tired, but has recently been accepting falling asleep in the car for naptime, and is doing the nursing/playing in the crib/nursing again routine right now (the double-nurse, I’m not loving so much…the first one is all kicks and rolling and pulling my hair now, so I’m considering dropping that one and just keeping the true ‘settle-down-to-sleep’ nurse. There has been the rare occasion lately where she has gone into the crib (which she now points at to get in, yippee!) and then just chatters herself off to dreamland, which we love, but is also boggling our minds when it happens.I’d like to wean soon, but I’m okay with it as it is right now.

  85. Aw, I know I’m late to the party so no one is going to read this, but I have a couple of things to add. (I haven’t read the comments because my toddler won’t let me sit still that long.)Anyway, I think there is one important clarification to make when it comes to nursing to sleep. One method is to nurse until comotose and then sit very still for 15 minutes until they’re in deep, deep sleep and then sneak them into the bed. This method leads to madness when they get old enough to have their sleep patterns change. The other alternative is to nurse until they fall asleep and then move them. If they rouse a bit and are sleepily aware that they’re being moved then you don’t have to worry about creating a problem or causing “dangerous” sleep associations (which I don’t believe in, but it’s what people will say).
    Anyway, I nursed my oldest to sleep the 1st way until it became problematic. Then we had to do a bit of gentle sleep training to get him to accept being moved to his bed at about 13 months. He just couldn’t go into a sleep deep enough and quickly enough for me to sneak him into bed after that age. Once we taught him that going into his crib wasn’t torture, I continued to nurse him to sleep until he moved into a big boy bed at 2. Then he dropped nursing to sleep because reading books in his new bed was more alluring.
    With my 2nd I’ve always just nursed him to sleep and then immediately, without dilly-dallying moved him to his crib. He just thinks that’s the way things are so he doesn’t protest unless he’s sick or teething. He’s currently 17 months old. If he’s not ready for sleep – not tired, working through a developmental spurt, etc – then he won’t seriously nurse until he’s ready to sleep. It’s nice for me to have that indication that he’s FINALLY ready to settle down.

  86. Oh so glad you posted this! DD is almost 10 months and can’t fall asleep without the magic ta-tas. I see other 10 month old Moms whose babies magically fall asleep in their crib and stay there, sleeping, for the next 12 hours. Um. So. Not. Us.She’s nursed to sleep from her very first feed. There’s only been two times when she fell asleep from rocking (the feeding didn’t work), and a handful of times when she fell asleep in the car long enough for us to carry her in. She will fall asleep when I wear her, but she never stays asleep for longer than a 20 minute nap that way.
    She sleeps in her crib, in our room (we made a walk in closet into a crib nook), if that makes a difference. I’m not in a huge hurry to give up the nursing-to-sleep, but I’m certainly feeling the commentary on it here too.

  87. @stephanie, talk to your ob/midwife about high dose B6 or chastetree berry (vitex). The high dose B6 can whack your supply (or so I found), but it does regulate lactation hormones and therefore allows cycles to return more effectively (I don’t know if this is considered a safe method at this point – it was commonly recommended when I was trying while nursing, and it did work for me, lengthened my luteal phase nicely, and while it did whack my supply it was temporary – a friend of mine didn’t have a rebound so dropped the B6). Oh, and that friend went for vitex, which also lengthens luteal phase (one of the common issues with nursing and trying to get pregnant is the luteal phase is too short). She found vitex worked but didn’t affect supply. Again, I don’t know what the safety profile is – so check with your care provider.

  88. One quit nursing to sleep around 18 months. The other — at almost three! — will nurse to sleep if I let her, but Daddy started putting her to bed (no nursing there!) at around 18 months. So … 18 months for both kids.

  89. FWIW – my daughter was bottle-fed, and she stopped falling asleep with the bottle (always held by me – never propped in her crib, of course!) right around 12 months. Sounds similar to the 8-10 month mark of many of the breastfed babies. After that, we’d just rock her until she was sleepy or until she indicated she wanted to be in her bed. It was harder for me to give up the nighttime cuddles than it was for her!

  90. With the first — gave it up herself around a year.With the second — she had weaned herself around 7 months (please don’t get me started) but gave up needing a bottle to go to sleep also around 1 year. So for my kids it was a common time to want to go to sleep on their own after a story/cuddle/song.

  91. I don’t remember how old my first was when she quit nursing to sleep at night. I think it was 8 months, but my dh disagrees and would tell it was something closer to 4 months. And we all cried when it was time to put her to sleep (note that she was not even close to sleeping through the night at this point, so she nursed and went back to sleep in the middle of the night just fine).My second was around 33 months when she quit nursing to sleep. I cried. I wanted her to nurse to sleep forever. It makes bedtime sooo much easier. Alas, that was it. She would nurse for two seconds, pop off and run around. It was a disaster.

  92. I nursed #1 to sleep until she was about 2. At that point, she would nurse to sleep if I was putting her to bed, but not if my husband was. She’s nearly 5 and we still have some quiet time with her at night or lay down with her for a little while, depending on how her day was (if she was in trouble all day, we try to give her some extra snuggle time before bed).#2 is about 8.5 months old and is nursing to sleep 99% of the time. Every now and again, she’ll just fall asleep on my husband (and then wake an hour or so later to nurse), but that is pretty infrequent.
    I figured it was easier to go with the flow. If the baby’s happy and I’m getting some sleep, I’ll take it.

  93. for my oldest, I nursed her to sleep until about 6 months, when it didn’t work anymore, and then I had to put her over my shoulder and pat her back and rock her to sleep, and then when that stopped working I just threw her into her crib and she was able to fall asleep on her own…for the second it was a bit longer (I cannot remember, I was so sleep deprived for more than a year!) — probably around 10-11 months, and then nursing her to sleep didn’t work and I moved on to other things

  94. Both of mine stopped nursing to sleep before 12 mos. I know with #1 it was about 9 mos, with #2 it was a bit later, probably 10-11 mos.In both cases they just started popping off the breast and looking around sleepily rather than staying latched on until their eyes closed and their bodies went limp. #1 was already sleeping long stretches by then, and when he started doing that, I’d just rock him for awhile and then put him down in his bed and he’d drift off to sleep.
    #2 didn’t sleep more than 3 hours at a stretch until she was 14 months old (you’ve got to eat frequently to be 25 pounds at 9 mos while hating all solid foods), and it took a little more rocking and singing and back-patting to get her to go down, but she did.

  95. My son nursed or had pumped breastmilk, at one year he cut back to first thing in the morning and nursing to sleep. Then, at exactly 14 months he just screamed when I got ready to nurse him…we kept trying a little longer but he was no longer interested. So he self weaned his nursing to sleep at 14 months (he was born at 36 weeks if that helps your statistics)

  96. The Boy stopped falling asleep while nursing at about 5 months. At that point, he popped off when he was done nursing, I put him in bed, and patted his back until he fell asleep (usually about 5-10 min, which I didn’t mind). As of about a month ago (he is now 9 months), he started seeming more agitated if we stayed in the room. We started putting him in the crib, patting 3 or 4 times, and going out quietly. Most of the time he falls asleep either quietly or with minimal fussing (always made worse if we go back in the room). Occasionally, we can tell the cry is more than just wind-down fussing, so we go back and rock for a few minutes before exiting quietly again. We have the same routine for naps.Fairly recently, we had a dinner party that we really didn’t want to miss, and it started an hour before his normal bedtime. It was close to home, so I nursed him about 1h15 minutes earlier than usual, left him with my parents and his solid food dinner, and he went to sleep for them with no problems. I think he’d protest the lack of relaxing nursing right before bed if I were home, but he knew it wasn’t an option, so he did it on his own! Good to know for future social events!

  97. Still nursing to sleep for bedtime at 21 months. We were down to once a day (just before bedtime) a month ago… and suddenly now he wants to nurse all the time and 2 or 3 times in the middle of the night. I’m letting him right now… hoping that it is something that he’ll be over very soon. It’s driving me crazy, honestly. I’m ready to be done nursing, but I was really hoping that I could gently wean (we had gotten down to 1x a day with no tears whatsover). He’s been weaned from a bottle since about 18 months and he’s never wanted a paci or to suck his thumb. I’m the human paci! If anyone has any data points of your child doing this… and this too will end… I would greatly appreciate the encouragement.But back on topic… my mom watches him while I am at work, and for his nap he falls asleep in his crib with no problems.

  98. I’m more of an outlier than I would have guessed. My son nursed to sleep almost all of the time until he weaned at just shy of 4. Very smooth transition. We would read and then nurse (during which time _I_ could read, which is partly why it worked so well for us). As he got closer to four, he just started falling asleep when he was being read to, first once a week and then a few times and then more often than not. And then he decided he was done. Now he falls asleep as we read to him.He actually gave up naps before he gave up nursing to sleep at night… for a while in there, we were driving to sleep for naps, just because we’d be out in the morning and drive home anyway, and it was simple, but he also nursed to sleep for some naps until he gave them up.
    I’m sure we could have found a different sleep transition earlier, but I loved having him nurse to sleep–I loved connecting with him at the end of the day, I loved the immunities he was getting, I loved how easy it was and what a calm night ritual we had. It helped that my son is flexible about when he sleeps, and that he is generally a late to bed, late to rise kind of guy, so I wasn’t forced to be home at seven or whatever every night.
    I’m sympathetic to parents for whom nursing to sleep doesn’t work, but it depresses me to hear about stopping nursing to sleep because of fears that you’re not supposed to, or that maybe one day it won’t work. If you love it now, do it for now. Six months makes a big difference anyway–if you need to change in six months or a year, you can do it then.
    In my experience, the people who question us assume it can’t be good for both mother and child. Either it’s, “Maybe you enjoy it, but he needs to learn independence.” Or it’s, “Well, he might like it, but you have to take care of yourself.” And in either case–if it’s not working for mom or the baby, or for the family generally–okay. But sometimes it works great.

  99. From birth until about six months, my baby nursed to sleep and then we gently put him down.Now coming up on 10 months, he nurses before sleeping, but is then put down awake.
    (I have an older child, but honestly can’t remember what he did. I suspect it was roughly the same.)

  100. I nursed my son to sleep every night up until 15 months. Then, it was like someone flipped a switch. He just stopped. He also weaned at the same time. He’s been sleeping very well since then, and that was a year ago.If someone told me there was a sure fire way to get my baby to sleep for 15 months, I would have paid good money for it. I was lucky that it turned out to be nursing.

  101. @Stephanie,_Adventures in Tandem Nursing_ is a good resource for trying to conceive while nursing also. It’s a La Leche publication, and the encouragement is toward nursing during pregnancy and also tandem nursing, but it also has strategies for cutting back.
    Some moms who have trouble nursing on demand are more able to conceive after night-weaning, but continuing to nurse during the day. Is that an option for you?

  102. Oh, and I wanted to note that for most people I know the issue was a genuine question, not a fear. Yes, they had discomfort based on their assumptions, but they all really wanted to know if this was GOING to be a problem, if the extended nursing has implications, if nursing to sleep had implications, had I considered them, what was the research, etc.My mom was actually the hardest one to convince, but she saw a seminar with Dr. Kathy Dettwyler (the one who does the research on the natural age of weaning), and offered to take me to it, thinking I suspect that this would show me what the REAL natural age of weaning was/should be (she was thinking 18 months max). She left the seminar bragging to others that I was still nursing my 3 year old… so, um, sometimes ya just need to find an expert to help out!
    Some people also see parents who are not being effective, and are also nursing to sleep, nursing past a year, etc., and mistakenly attribute the results of ineffective parenting to the nursing behaviors. They may think the kids will become ‘odd ducks’ because of the nursing-down, when it is that the parents are ‘odd ducks’ that is the issue, LOL! (I’m an odd duck, myself, so… yeah, my kids aren’t typical. I prefer it that way.)

  103. One child, female, nursed to sleep until 14 months. We began weaning from day nursing at 12 months. As she got used to not nursing during the day she became less interested in nursing to sleep. Went from a solid 20 minute nursing session to 15… then 10… then 5… then just a minute or two until one day she just asked for her pacifier instead.

  104. Son #1 nursed to sleep until 17 months old, then he just wanted his binky, then gave up the binky at 24 months.Son #2 never nursed to sleep.
    Son #1 transferred from nursing to sleep to not nursing to sleep SO EASILY I still wonder how it happened. It was effortless. Then again, getting rid of the pacifier and potty training have been effortless with him as well. I’m betting Son #2 will be the opposite in getting him out of diapers (thankfully he never took a pacifier!)

  105. Mine did the same thing – stopped nursing to sleep on her own – I’d say around 9.5 months or so. I still nurse her in bed, she stops when she’s ready and thrashes around or lies still for a while. Sometimes I sing or rub her back or say shhhhhh and sometimes I just look at her and she falls asleep. My being there still seems key, but no more nursing, and I did nothing to end it. Strangely, although some commenters seem to have the same experience, she still nurses to a dead sleep for naps (she’s almost 11 months now).

  106. My son just recently stopped nursing-to-sleep. He’s was about 13 months. It used to be that he would nurse until he passed out, and I couldn’t put him down awake or there’d be hell to pay.Now, he usually nurses, and then is awake and drowsy when I put him down. Sometimes he’ll be so tired that he falls asleep on the breast, but that isn’t the norm anymore.
    I should note that he did this completely on his own, without encouragement from me. But I LOVE that he’s finally mastered the art of self soothing!

  107. Also, I should add this:My son never used a pacifier… hated them! So my boobs were his soothing device, since he wouldn’t settle for a paci in the crib.

  108. Haven’t read most of the comments and cannot comment on the specific situation myself (mine nursed to sleep occasionally, and to be honest it was lovely for both of us when he did), but I can say that if there’s one thing that motherhood has taught me it’s not to go making problems up when none exist. If you’re doing something that’s working for you and yours, don’t change it and don’t worry it will cause problems for you down the road — it may well not.(DS shared our room until 15 months and everyone warned me he would go through a dreadful non-sleeping spell when we moved him out. Um, in fact, he didn’t. He slept the same or maybe slightly…better. All that worry for naught.).

  109. My daughter is 2 years and 5 months old, and is still nursing to sleep at night and at nap time. If she wakes up in the night (99% of the time she does) she nurses back to sleep. And yes, we co-sleep, or I would die.I would LOVE for her to outgrow this, but I really don’t mind it too much. She’ll be a big girl soon enough – no need to push her away first.

  110. My older child didn’t nurse, but kept her bottle of water until she was 3.5.My younger child is still nursing to sleep at 16 months. I’m extremely conflicted about this right now. I HATE the idea of abruptly taking that away from him, but we discovered that he has an enamel defect when one of his teeth crumbled while I was brushing it on Monday. $500 of emergency dental work later, the dentist thinks that the nursing to sleep has exacerbated the enamel problem. Right now, I’m till nursing him to sleep, and am sneakily wiping his teeth with spiffies while he’s asleep (we brush the teeth right before bedtime). We are working really hard to night wean him, so that there isn’t any all night buffet any more. I think we’ll eliminate that first, and then working on the bedtime thing.
    Poor kid.

  111. Yay for Moxie! I read nearly each and every one of these comments. Perfect timing for me. My son just turned 9 months old and has been nursed to sleep at night every day of his life. Since I went back to work at six months I really don’t mind and look at it as my quiet time with him and I just love how it calms him down. My husband is doing the daytime parenting and he can only get him to nap while wearing him in a carrier and he also can’t put him down once asleep (he wakes up straight away) – this is a bit of a problem in the hot summer months as my husband has to walk around constantly wearing him. If I am home, I sometimes nurse him down to naps too, but sometimes that doesn’t work. We also co-sleep so I pretty much only brestfeed while lying down and I love this because it is so relaxing for me. We live in Japan so we sleep on the floor so we don’t have to worry about him falling off the bed. Anyway lately my son has started pulling off and rolling over to go to sleep and this always amazes me. I plan to continue this as long as my son wants to, but going out at night every now and again would be nice I guess, but I can wait since he is only going to be this small for only a little while longer. We will be moving back to Australia this year where sleeping arrangements will be different (bed and much bigger apartment/house) and I wonder how it will affect our family. My mother also bottle fed all four of her children including me and thinks my son should be sleeping through the night already…I worry about getting comments on our situation, but reading everyone’s comments here is very encouraging.

  112. Yay for Moxie! I read nearly each and every one of these comments. Perfect timing for me. My son just turned 9 months old and has been nursed to sleep at night every day of his life. Since I went back to work at six months I really don’t mind and look at it as my quiet time with him and I just love how it calms him down. My husband is doing the daytime parenting and he can only get him to nap while wearing him in a carrier and he also can’t put him down once asleep (he wakes up straight away) – this is a bit of a problem in the hot summer months as my husband has to walk around constantly wearing him. If I am home, I sometimes nurse him down to naps too, but sometimes that doesn’t work. We also co-sleep so I pretty much only brestfeed while lying down and I love this because it is so relaxing for me. We live in Japan so we sleep on the floor so we don’t have to worry about him falling off the bed. Anyway lately my son has started pulling off and rolling over to go to sleep and this always amazes me. I plan to continue this as long as my son wants to, but going out at night every now and again would be nice I guess, but I can wait since he is only going to be this small for only a little while longer. We will be moving back to Australia this year where sleeping arrangements will be different (bed and much bigger apartment/house) and I wonder how it will affect our family. My mother also bottle fed all four of her children including me and thinks my son should be sleeping through the night already…I worry about getting comments on our situation, but reading everyone’s comments here is very encouraging.

  113. My eldest stopped nursing to sleep around 10 or 11 months and I remember hating it as I could never get her to go down well ever again. I don’t know that I can blame it on the nursing but it was horrible up until … well, gee, she’s almost 3 now :)I never nursed the second one to sleep as I was too busy chasing the first.

  114. Yeah, so my kids are way past that now, but the Boy nursed to sleep (and slept with me) until he stopped. It was the last one he gave up and it was somewhere around 16 months, but he continued to sleep with me until he was 5 or so. Boo on the other hand, NEVER wanted to nurse to sleep, and insisted on going to sleep in her very. own. bed. from about 4 months old. For what it’s worth.

  115. We are still avid nursers here. My DD is 18 months, and still nurses to sleep with me, but mostly her Dad rocks her to sleep and she’s fine with that – actually she prefers it now. For day naps I nurse her every time, and she’s out like a light in under 5 minutes. She wakes up a LOT at night still and I nurse her each time, we co-sleep and she can’t seem to put herself back to sleep without a boob in her mouth.I toy with night weaning her but it all seems too hard right now ! She’s a boob addict thats for sure.
    DS on the other hand is a problem ! He is now 5.5 years old and still sleeps in our room, and needs one of us to stay with him untill he’s asleep. Drives us mental and lots of times we don’t, leaving him not very happy but hey, he’s five!

  116. My daughter nursed to sleep up until around 18 months. By that point she was only nursing a wee little bit before bed – it wasn’t so much that she needed it as much as she was used to it I think. I was prego at the time and really did not want to be nursing much into my 2nd pregnancy… so I just simply stopped nursing her at that point and she was done. No fuss no muss.I do remember being so worried though, especially in the early days. Wondering if I was setting her up for a big battle when it was time to wean from ‘nursing to sleep’. Then when the time came it was so easy to stop – which i know isn’t the case for everyone as each child is different.
    Now with my second I don’t even give it a second thought… she’s only 5 months, needs to nurse to sleep and i’m fine to continue for another year or so, cross my fingers she is as easy as her sister when the time comes!

  117. Since my daughter would take no other form of comfort–stuffed animal, blanket, pacifier, etc.–I stuck with nursing down to bed for a long time. 18 months at least. At a certain point she no longer went to sleep (just got drowsy), so I escorted her to her [toddler] bed from the couch. I also nursed her to sleep for naps in my bed until the day I went into labor with my son (she was 22 months).At a certain point my son stopped nursing to sleep (at night–for naps he still nurses to sleep maybe 25% of the time and he’s 2y3m). I have no recollection of how old he was–12 months? Younger than my daughter was. He, however, is a thumbsucker. So he’d nurse, then replace me with his thumb, finger a pillowcase, and drift off.
    BUT he doesn’t like to left by himself during this phase. He prefers me to be RIGHT THERE; elsewhere in the bedroom is a distant second choice; trying to move somewhere else in the house is usually met with vociferous protest. Although he will allow my husband to sit on the floor while he puts himself to sleep. My daughter also went through this phase of needing company to feel comfortable at night, but now she’s happy with her books. I assume he’ll be that way too.
    Now I am dying to read the other 114 comments πŸ™‚ But here are the maxims I live by: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” “It’s not forever, even if it feels like it.” “Life as a parent is hard enough already, why make it more difficult?!”

  118. 1 data point:From 0-12 months, I always nursed my baby to sleep, nap and bedtime. My husband put her to bed probably 50-75% of the time in the early months, declining over time, and he walked her to sleep. I nursed her to sleep for probably 80% of her naps (the rest were daddy’s responsibility), decreasing over time as others took more of her care at 12 mos.
    As she weaned, the nursing to sleep stopped, and it was a surprisingly smooth transition. It probably helped that her daddy was used to putting her to sleep all along, so he just did that more often until she was weaned.

  119. The Noodle was a hard-core nurse-to-sleeper and it started to take longer and longer. Around 10 mos we started the Pantley pop-off (No-Cry Sleep Solution) and like magic she started to roll over and go to sleep w/out the boob in her mouth. And yet, as a previous poster noted, still with the frequent night-wakings and nursing back to sleep.At 13 mos, I got her to rock down and then go to sleep holding my hand at which point I had Daddy take over nighttime duty for a while. Sweet relief. I had started to lose it with the endless gnawing.
    Nurse-to-nap continued at home until around 14 mos around 50% of the time. She naps great at daycare and horribly at home which I choose to interpret as a backhanded compliment that she’d rather be awake with us.
    We gradually picked off nighttime wakings/ nursings by the same process–I would only rock her and tell her the nanas were night-night. Then transitioned to dad taking over the shushing back to sleep.
    That has worked for everything but the early AM waking. Now at 19 mos, she still wakes somewhere between 3:30 and 5:30 and will scream and freak out unless/until brought into the big bed and still insists on nanas 50% of the time or rotates and kicks one of us in the solar plexus for an hour.
    From the noises on the monitor, clearly she is moving towards more consistent self-soothing after waking, but it has been a slow, incremental process.

  120. marley is 17 months now. she nurses to sleep almost every night since she was born. there are a few times where dad has put her to sleep. she does on occasion go to sleep while still alert after nursing. she goes to daycare and easily goes down for naps without nursing or a bottle. when i have her on the weekends, she nurses before napping.it is such a relief to know that i am not doing the wrong thing. i was told by a friend that baby led weaning is a lie. i felt hijacked by breastfeeding. i have also been recently told by the pediatrician that we may be fostering bad sleep habits. anyway, i’m glad that other people do it too.
    i would like to wean soon. i don’t really know how to do it. i don’t think marley is ready and maybe that means i am not ready. it was not my intention to be an extended breastfeeder. i keep hoping that marley will one day just decide to stop nursing…
    …still waiting.

  121. My first, now twelve, nursed to sleep until he self weaned at fourteen months.My second, now two, nursed to sleep until SHE self weaned at seventeen months.
    And the baby, four months, doesn’t nurse to sleep at all. He’ll nurse to sleepy, then pops off and sighs, and drifts off like an angel. πŸ™‚
    He’s also the only one I’ve been able to get to co-sleep with me, oddly enough.
    Also, I think every new mom needs to know that they should follow their OWN insticts about what to do with their children. Read books, listen to family and friends, and then do what YOU feel is right. I would have been such a better mother to my firstborn if I had known that when he was little, mostly because it would have meant that I had confidence in myself as his mother. I think that’s the key… confidence in what works best for you and your baby.
    Just my two cents!
    xo
    b

  122. I’m in the sleep-deprivation fog of newborn #2 so I don’t remember exactly when my oldest stopped nursing himself to sleep. I kept nursing for months after though (until 17 months). When he stopped feeding and was awake each night we would sing a bit and then he’d go to sleep so it kind of gradually stopped being a part of our nighttime routine.

  123. @Heather: Thanks for the recommendation; I’ll definitely look into that publication. Unfortunately, can’t really just go to nursing during the day, as I work outside the home. Think I’m looking down the barrel of nightweaning. I had hoped if I stopped the nursing to sleep (have not tried yet, but was looking for hope in these comments), the night feedings would magically disappear, but as someone else mentioned above, that’s not always the case. Still, I’m anxiously reading all the replies and hoping to pick up tips.Sorry, Moxie, didn’t mean to hijack.

  124. I nursed #1 to sleep every night and sometimes it got really awful when he was in no mood to sleep (late afternoon naps did interfere with that around 18 months). By awful I mean nibbles and fooling around — nursing just wouldn’t calm him down. So I started rocking him to sleep with the crib and the movement helped him release that pent up energy.Since I work, he would fall asleep for naps with a pacifier and LOTS of rocking in a stroller. Hubby or babysitter would rock him for nearly an hour to help him nod off. Around 2 yrs he just needed a routine and the rigors of daycare. He’d be so exhausted from no afternoon nap and playing at school that all it took was a book, lying down together, and boom — off to sleep. Now at 3 1/2 he is a very secure sleeper (We all co-slept from birth to 18 months then crib next to our bed til 2 1/2 years then his own bed after 3 yrs.)
    with #2 she was a dream! she would nod off the second I put my breast in her mouth! Where it had taken my son 1 hour to fall asleep, it just took her 10-15 minutes tops. But I think a lot had to do with the fact she could never get in decent naps during the day (big brother disturbing her sleep) so at night when he was asleep she’d just pass out.
    Now at 19-months she only needs a bit of the bottle, then takes the breast to feel comfort (teething) and falls asleep in no time. For naps, she goes down on her own with no bottle, no breast, no pacifier.
    There have been occasions that she has fallen asleep on her own at night due to exhaustion (missed naps). She wakes up periodically during the night (as did my son) because of thirst (give bottle) or teething (give boob). I found this night waking stops when all the teeth are in def. by 2 years (oops then the night terrors kick in, sorry)
    So we co-sleep til they can fall asleep on their own (after 20-months for sure), then big crib next to bed til the night wakings stop (by 3rd birthday). My son moved out of our room when I asked him if he would like his own bed and his own room and he was excited and helped us move him in (he was 3 yrs. 5 months exact).
    I found letting them be clingy and needing comfort when they are so small has made them stronger and more independent. Others I know who moved their kids to their own room as infants have found that as soon as the kids can walk and climb out of bed, they are getting up in the middle of the night to come sleep with the parents.
    We’re taking the counter offensive: make them sleep with us until they get sick of us and want to move out! so far it is working!

  125. @stefanieI cut back from 7 to 3 nurses a day in order to get my fertility back. I did it pretty slowly, but apparently a abrupt change might work better and faster (it took me a couple of months as I was going slowly in the hope I wouldn’t have to give up too many feeds). Check the Billings Ovulatory Method site for advice re fertility charting and other info associated with breastfeeding and ttc.

  126. Boy nursed to sleep ALL naps and ALL nights until 25 months old without a diminishing interest. Then we weaned. I was pregnant, my milk supply was dwindling, and it was a bit painful to nurse. I knew I didn’t have the right stuff to tandem nurse, so TOGETHER we changed the sleep pattern. I started by not refusing nursing, but limiting the time. I would count to 10 after he nursed a bit, and then remove him. As long as I warned him ahead of time, no fussing. Then, he started to count with me! It was hilarious – mouth full of boob, “one, two…” and then he would pull himself off and I could pat him to sleep. (We still co-sleep.) We did this awhile. Then I had to help out a friend one night, so the boy went to bed with Dad successfully without nursing. They continued that for a week and I slept alone for the first time in 2 years! We all rejoined and he was weaned. We still cuddle, rock, or pat to sleep as needed. His sleep continues to change and develop as do all of his skills.Girl, now 5 months, is a totally different nurser – not as avid and a little sloppy. She can go to sleep on her own or with nursing or with a pacifier. We also co-sleep. We will see how this nursing relationship evolves. πŸ™‚
    From my experience, babies come wired as to what kind of sleepers and nursers they will be. Do what works for you and the baby. It definitely is a relationship between the two of you and is nobody else’s business.

  127. Oh, and by the way, I conceived baby girl while nursing son to sleep for naps and nights. And Hedra, I LOVE Dr. Dettwyler. I had her for an anthropology professor a LONG time ago! πŸ™‚ Her website has some interesting articles too.

  128. My son (now coming up on 11 months) has been off-and-on when it comes to nursing to sleep. There was a long period (say, 6-9 months old) when it was roughly 40% of the time, nursing to sleep, 60% of the time, absolutely no way, please put me in my bed where I will happily look at my light-up musical crib thingy and drift off with 0-5 minutes of fuss. During this period, we had 1-3 night wakings, and I nursed back to sleep for those, mostly. Then at around 9 months, it was 100% nurse to sleep. And, in a miracle I am still pinching myself over, it was shortly after that that he started sleeping through the night. (I would say we offered some gentle guidance on that, e.g. sending in daddy for comfort at night when we were confident he wasn’t hungry.)So to repeat: At the time my son insisted on nursing to sleep, he *stopped* waking up at night! And when he fell asleep on his own, after being lovingly tucked in in that proverbial drowsy-but-awake state, he would wake up 1-3 times at night. My guess is that it has so much more to do with his age/developmental stage than anything else.

  129. Can’t comment on nighttime sleep. We gently moved the bedtime nursing to be before bathtime, because that’s what worked for us.Naptimes, if I am the one putting my kids down (18 month old twins), I offer to tandem nurse them as long as they want. Sometimes one or the other falls asleep while nursing, sometimes they both pull off sleepy, sometimes my daughter (but never my son, to my recollection), points straight to her crib, says, “bed,” and doesn’t want to nurse at all. When my husband or MIL puts them down for a nap, they read one or two of a set group of books and then go into the cribs, no milk or anything else needed. If we happen to be out with them in the stroller around naptime, they also have no trouble falling asleep without nursing. So, no “end” yet, but that’s where we are at 18 months.

  130. I nursed my girl to sleep until right around a year old, when we would still nurse at night, but she wouldn’t fall asleep that way anymore. When that happened, I would stand up with her and sway back and forth in front of the crib while I sung a song, then lay her down, pat her tummy, and tell her I loved her and goodnight. At 19 months old, she is not nursing anymore, but all that last part is still the bedtime routine (after books rather than nursing now).

  131. The Nut stopped nursing TO sleep early, probably around 4 months or so – he just didn’t fall asleep while nursing anymore. But he continued to nurse or have a bottle before sleeping until just around a year. Then he suddenly stopped taking a bottle and we weaned soon after. Now, before bed, either my husband or I read him some stories sitting in his chair, we put him down, and he goes to sleep. Naptime is sometimes a little more challenging (he loves to throw everything including all of his pacifiers out of his crib and then is mad that he no longer has them) but overall things seem to be going well.

  132. #1 isn’t a data point.#2 nursed to sleep or at least as part of bedtime until self-weaning completely at 14 months.
    #3 nursed to sleep or at least as part of bedtime until self-weaning completely at 16 months.
    #4 (at 14 months) *still* needs to nurse down for nap or bedtime *if I’m around* but DH, MIL, babysitter can get him to sleep reasonably (no bottle, no cup), and have for months already; I’ve been griping about this for a while, although I think we’re up to 3 individual bedtimes when he has put himself to sleep on a random floor near where the ‘action’ is – but put him in the crib the same tired, full, dry, and he’ll vomit instead. Grrr.
    If he’s already full and tired and *I’m* the adult at home, he’ll scream endlessly and squirm, even in my arms.

  133. I nursed P to sleep until he was about 9 months old. He didn’t always need it but when he did, it was certainly the easiest thing to do. At about 9 months, he started reliably falling asleep without nursing to do so. I continued to nurse him before bed (but not to sleep, we would read stories after nursing) until he was 16 months. And–GASP!–he gave it up on his own. It was actually the first nursing session that he gave up when we switched to a “Don’t ask, don’t refuse” policy.

  134. My daughter nursed to sleep (including any middle of the night wakings) until she fully weaned herself around 19 months. BUT! I was 4 months pregnant at that time and my milk was all but gone by then. My son is 5 months old today and happily nurses to sleep when he is hungry, but if he was fed within an hour of bedtime he is no longer interested in the breast and just wants to be rocked/bounced to sleep.

  135. 1 data point: at 15.5 months, my girl still nurses to sleep at night and bottles to sleep with Dad for naps.

  136. I nursed my daughter to sleep until she stopped on her own around 8 months. She then nursed before bed, and now had a bottle, but needs to be rocked to sleep. Sometimes she goes down beautifully, and other times it is a battle. It is usually a battle when I have missed “the window” of I’m just now getting tired, and she is overtired.

  137. Thanks for this info! My daughter is 5 months old and I nurse her to sleep nearly every night. She does okay almost all the times that I’ve had to be away from her at night – takes longer to get her to sleep after her bottle of breastmilk. However, today she seems to be rejecting nursing to sleep for naps? I’m planning to let her take the lead in quitting the night nursing – that’s the one feeding I really, really enjoy.

  138. My first nursed to sleep (and 2-3 times through the night) until she was 2. I night weaned her because I was pregnant and needed better sleep. It was pretty easy, probably because my milk had dried up and she had cut short her nursing sessions anyway.My second is 2 1/2 and still nursing to sleep (and 2-3 times through the night). She shows no signs of giving it up and has strongly resisted my (admittedly feeble) attempts to night wean her. I really enjoy nursing her, I just wish I could stay out later than 9pm occasionally!!!

  139. I nursed my first to sleep for as long as that worked, which I believe was about the 10-12 mos mark. After that, it would work sometimes, sometimes not, and her father could get her to bed easily when I was not there.Currently, with baby #2, nursing the sleep at bedtime is still working @ 13 mos old. Occasionally she’s still awake post-nursing, and then she gets rocked, sung to, and put to bed, and that works just fine. She seems to be in the process of transitioning out of it, just somewhat later than her sister did.
    I have done nothing to discourage the bedtime nursing with either one of them.

  140. I am so happy to see this post! I felt guilty forever about nursing my daughter to sleep!! She stopped falling alseep at night from nursing at around 11 months, but I would still nurse her to relax her as part of the bedtime routine. Then we would brush her teeth and my husband would read to her and then put her in the crib and she would go to sleep on her own. She wouldn’t fall asleep from anything we did at this point (rocking, walking, singing, nursing, etc.). She still nursed to sleep for naps for a while until I noticed her teeth started to demineralize and I brought her to a dentist who said I must stop nursing her before naps unless I brush her teeth afterwards but before putting her down. Since the whole point of nursing her before naps was to get her to fall alseep, I didn’t want to wake her up to brish her teeth so I stopped cold turkey and just put her in her crib once she seemed really tired. And wouldn’t you know it, she just went to sleep and hasn’t had a problem putting herself to sleep since! I hope that helps!

  141. I forgot to mention she was 16 months when I stopped nursing before naps and ended up weaning completely….which made me very sad at the time and even now I still miss it a month and a half later.

  142. As usual, I’m joining this conversation very late. But i have a meta-point that I don’t *think* anyone has made yet (haven’t read all the comments, madly packing boxes for a move in two days, eek!). Which is, I don’t think it matters when you stop nursing to sleep, because the entire sleep associations theory is crap. I mean, think about it for a second. My bean nursed to sleep when I was home (naptimes during my maternity leave, weekends, and bedtime) for most of her first year, but took multiple naps per day for her nanny who simply stroked her back and hummed (kid never took a bottle or pacifier or sucked her thumb, so no sucking to sleep via other means when I wasn’t around). When she started daycare, they lower the lights and she plops into bed. Her dad plunks her into her crib (lovingly, of course), plops some books next to her, and waltzes out. Year two she stopped nursing at weekend naptime and bedtime, but did nurse at her early morning wakening until I put an end to it because I couldn’t stand her pinchy little fingers anymore. And she sleeps as well as one would expect, with no CIO, for all of us, despite the huge variation in the conditions of when she goes to sleep. You don’t have to invoke the “won’t go off to college nursing to sleep” argument, as they don’t even go off to daycare nursing to sleep!

  143. I still nurse my 21 month old to sleep. Up until 3 months ago, I was still nursing several times throughout the night to get her to go back to sleep. We co-slept in our bed until she was 14 months, then moved her to her own bed in her room (a mattress on the floor) but I was spending most nights with her. Then, 3 months ago we both got the stomach flu and she couldn’t keep down breast milk. That was how we night weaned. She nurses to sleep when I put her down for naps or bedtime. She doesn’t nurse to sleep when her dad puts her down for naps or bedtime (I guess she doesn’t like hairy nipples!). I don’t actually see this as a problem. Her dad, grandparents, and babysitter, can easily get her to sleep. Not infrequently she fools around when I’m nursing her to sleep, flipping and flopping, and so I remove nipple, put in soother and she falls asleep. I’m of the belief that you do what works until it no longer works.For the record, I never thought she would sleep through the night and now, for the past 2 weeks she either sleeps through the night or wakes up once for a drink of water. Miracles do happen!

  144. I just want to say THANK YOU for this. I haven’t made it through all the comments, but thank you for making me feel just a tiny bit justified in that my child does nurse to sleep, still, at twelve months. And he still does at least ONE night nursing, if not two (we co-sleep for the second half of the night). Most of the time, I’m really okay with all of it, and continue to be thankful for this special time I get with my son.

  145. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t nurse understands the dynamic there. I nursed 3 to sleep for naps/bedtime and honestly can’t remember when they stopped – and I’m STILL nursing the last one to sleep some of the time. Whether I liked it or not, it was always the path of least resistance, and it does end before a year, or at least around there. My current nursling doesn’t always fall asleep at the bar (the other two, it was guaranteed) and even so, he’s sleepy enough that he goes down on his own. At 9 months he still wants the nursing before bed but sometimes I put him down for naps without. But where’s teh fun in that? In a house full of chaos it’s an easy way for some quiet one-on-one. So sorry if this was a useless data point πŸ™‚

  146. Miss G is 2 1/2. She still nurses at bedtime, still sometimes nurses to sleep if she’s already really tired.More often than not, she has her bedtime nursing, rolls off, says “Mommy, I’m done.” Then she proceeds to have anywhere from 5-20 minutes of finding her comfy spot and telling us bedtime stories or asking for songs until she’s more sleepy.
    (We also co-sleep and have since her birth; since 18 months she has had a “big girl bed” ganged up next to ours. Mostly, she starts and finishes the night in our bed; occasionally she’ll move herself over, or we move her over ourselves.)
    I am of the mind that if it works, keep it up!
    Miss G will go to sleep fairly easily for dad/grandma/babysitter, with cuddles, but doesn’t need a bottle or nursing from them. Just when Mommy is home!
    Oh yeah… *I* sleep much better (both getting to sleep and through the night) after bedtime nursing and cuddles (if I stay in bed – if I get up to get stuff done, I may as well stay up all night because I’ll just toss and turn). On a recent business trip (first time away from her), I could. not. sleep. I took along a hot water bottle to cover, which helped. Pumping and cuddling the hot water bottle just wasn’t the same.

  147. We nursed to sleep until he was more than 2.5 years old. It was the last nursing session to go. We slowly replaced it with reading a book on the futon. Reading a book in the rocking chair without nursing didn’t work…

  148. Wow, the timing of this posting is impeccable. My daughter is 10 1/2 months old and up until a couple of weeks ago would nurse herself to sleep every night (pretty much). Then, all of sudden, something changed. Every night is a little bit different, but in general she is still awake after the end-of-the-day feeding. On the rare occassion that she does fall asleep, she generally wakes up either when I get up to put her into her baby cage (a.k.a. the crib), right after I lay her down or about 30 minutes after sleeping soundly. Most of the time this results in a very crabby baby. Since hubby and I are NOT CIO advocates, we’ve been rocking her to sleep (and I daresay, I really enjoy this time – at least after she’s stopped screaming, has calmed down and is actually cuddling). So, sounds like there might be something to this 10 – 11 month milestone(?) and nursing to sleep. Glad to hear it’s not just me. This is baby #1 for us, so every little change comes as a surprise!

  149. I don’t nurse my 9.5 mo old to sleep anymore (just rocking/walking to her favorite lullabies). But since we do cosleep, I nurse her in the middle of the night when she wakes so she can go back to sleep. If I don’t do that, it’s much harder to get her back to sleep. In my semi-sleep state, it’s just so much easier to nurse than not.

  150. My daughter nursed to sleep from about 3-4 months until 9-10 months. After that she would still nurse before bed, but I’d put her in her crib awake. Around 13 months she quit nursing at night, taking a sippy cup of cows milk instead. She is 16 months old now, and only nursing occasionally in the mornings.She would nurse (when I was home) before naps, but rarely fall asleep unless she was very tired.
    Though we just returned from a trip and she nursed to sleep (naps and bedtime) a couple times – just off her normal rythmn I think.

  151. My two older children “nursed down” for the night until they were weaned a few months over 2 years. That was always the last nursing to go. My 13 month old, though, has been nursing to sleep less frequently for the past month. I had planned to nurse her another 11 months, at least, and her day time nursing is about the same. When she does not want to nurse down, she wraps up in her “cuddle blanket” in my arms, and I sing every folk song or nursery rhyme I know until she drops off.All babies and mamas are different, so there is no one right way to do something. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could cut ourselves some slack, quit worrying about what what other people thought of our mothering and give each other the support we all need?

  152. My guy Simon nursed to sleep until he was about 2 1/2 at which point I told him we would nurse to sleep but not again until the sun came up. He was kind of pissed about this for a week so I just held him and let him know I understood how bad it “sucked” for him. Once he got over it he would wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to get his boob on. He weaned himself at age four and nursed to sleep until then. One day I asked him “so Simon, when will you be all done nursing”? He said he didn’t know. I told him that when he was all done he could have a weaning party and all his friends could come over. At that he said “Well, then I’m finished now”! I told him he didn’t have to be finished but that when he was ready…. He loved so dearly the idea of a party (it wasn’t like we didn’t have parties pretty regular by the way) that he was motivated. I didn’t for a minute believe it so I didn’t mention it again. He asked to nurse a couple of times that next week and I would say ok but then he’d say, “Wait a minute! I don’t want boobie”! It was hilarious! We totally had a party but he thought it was a weenie party so we cooked out hotdogs and all the adults drank a bunch of beer!

  153. My son nursed to sleep until about 11-12 mos. First he stopped falling asleep at the breast. Then, he actually became agitated by me holding and cuddling him and literally started asking for his crib. I still nurse him as part of his nighttime routine, but he pulls off and I lay him down fully awake without any pushback on most nights. If he does resist, something is wrong and I work to fix that, i.e., a dirty nappy.FWIW, I am so glad that I let him lead this relationship and did not force anything. It was so magical the first few times he started wanting to get into his crib. From time to time he will actually blow me kisses when I lay him down. What can beat that?

  154. I had been happily nursing my son to sleep as a young infant – it was the only reliable way to get him to sleep. My pediatrician told me at EVERY appointment that I needed to stop doing it, but when I tried it took over an hour to sooth him to sleep, so I just ignored her advice.Son stopped nursing to sleep at 9 months – instead, at bedtime he’d nurse, then pop up into a sitting position to look at some board books. Then he allowed me to sing him a song and rock him to sleep. He’s now 12 months old and still does that.
    I’m trying to figure out if I need to stop rocking him (with me standing up) to sleep or not. Some nights it only takes 10 minutes but some nights takes a good hour, even if he was tired going into the bedtime routine.

  155. I thought my daughter would never, ever, EVER know any other way to fall asleep than nursing. She loved it, couldn’t sleep without it. Then she just _stopped_ at 13 months, all on her own. She also hated the crib at this age, so we just gave in, took the crib away and threw a twin mattress on her bedroom floor. She fell asleep with one of us lying next to her, that’s all. We then weaned at 15 months all together, part baby led, part mom led.

  156. I haven’t had time to read all the other comments but here’s my “data point” – my little guy nursed to sleep till just over 1 year when he gave it up and weaned himself. Then we started giving him a bottle before bedtime, and he often fell asleep while drinking that. Now, at 17 months, he still gets a bottle at bedtime but we also read him a book or two, and usually he finishes his bottle before we finish the books(s) so he is awake when we put him in his crib to sleep. Now granted, he has always been a super sleeper, but we’ve just been going with the flow giving him what he seems to need/want as time is going by. Eventually we’ll be able to phase out the nighttime bottle but for now I don’t see any harm in it.

  157. Alex is 15 mo – still nurses before bed. Typically will break latch himself and roll over and go to sleep – but we can’t leave him. When he’s really tired or teething he tends to fall asleep while latched (cuz teething toddler gnawing on mah bewb while sleeping is a good. time.)

  158. My kid nursed at bedtime until 15 months, when he weaned himself. (I stopped offering and he stopped asking, so I call that self-weaning.)We tried to put him down somewhat awake, once he was old enough for that, though. He didn’t really nurse to sleep after 9 months or so.

  159. I’m getting in so late here, but thought I’d add my data points anyway. (I know I sometimes read all the way to the end of a comment section. There must be others like me!)Three kids, each breastfed on cue, slept with me. None of them gave up the bedtime nursing completely until late in the game, toward the end of their multi-year nursing careers. Sometime in the two-ish range, they started occasionally going to sleep without nursing. Bedtime was the last nursing to go for one of my kids. The other two had a different favorite nursing time that ended up being the last to go.
    Now they all go to sleep fairly easily, in their own beds, at a regular time, and sleep all night. So cosleeping and extended nursing worked out fine for us in the big picture. I enjoyed it while it lasted!

  160. I totally weaned my daughter from going to sleep while nursing- at 18 months. I was quite tired of doing all of nighttime by myself and just…. couldn’t anymore. By 8-10 months she was squirming around and nursing with her butt in the air, her head ground into my chest, or my shoulder, elbows digging into my ribs- I tried to get my husband to do SOMETHING with her- like read or rock or swing or SOMETHING, but he didn’t bite and I just… did it until I couldn’t anymore, Ya know? It did get harder at the time frame you were talking about- to me, it was all teething and figuring out how to walk and be all mobile and whatnot, but it could have just been not working. It always seemed like when the lactating boobs are around- that is all that she wants, but she will happily take other comforts if the boobs aren’t there.

  161. My older son weaned at 25 months because I was pregnant with my younger son. One week we went camping and he didn’t nurse at all-at night he fell asleep talking to us in the tent and that was it. he is now 5 and sleeps through the night (has since he was 3)My younger son is another story! At 33 months he is still an avid nurser ( i call him addicted!) He is not a great sleeper and wakes up after 45 minutes of his nap and then has to be nursed to sleep again only to hold me hostage for the rest of the nap (right now he’s asleep on my lap cause I don’t want to lay down with him). However, last week his father put him down for a nap and he slept for 2 hours straight!!
    At night he nurses down to sleep in his bed then when he wakes up at 11:00 (my bedtime – how does he know this?!) we bring him into our bed. He wakes up several times during the night and I nurse him back to sleep (although last night I told him once that my baboos were empty and needed to fill up again and he went right back to sleep). In the morning he will nurse for 1/12 hours while I fit that last bit of sleep in.
    I’m ready to wean but I know that he is not (he is totally attached to me and cries when I get out of his sight and he doesn’t know where I am). I’m hoping that someday soon he will follow in his brother’s footsteps and quit.
    Perhaps the next data point can techniques used to wean older children! I’m all ears πŸ™‚

  162. Oooh this is a hot-button topic for me. I read a ton of advice from main-stream parenting sources that warn against moms (I was about to write parents!) nursing babies to sleep.I ignored that because my baby said she needed to nurse to sleep (screamed if I didn’t, screamed when she woke up in the middle of the night). I took the attitude of nursing gives her comfort and it’s not wrong.
    This month she has started to point towards her bed and ask to stop nursing and be put in her crib (with a book). Every now and then she sleep through the night. I know she will wean herself when she is ready. And that she will have had years of wonderful nights together, without crying.

  163. I am soooo happy I found all of your posts! I would like to wean my DS ASAP (he is just shy of 12 mos). I do not see myself continuing for another few or several months and feel comfortable with how long I have bf him, so I am really ready. It seems like it will be really hard now because for the past two months, he has stepped up his nursing during the night–it is more like 5-6 times a night vs. once or twice when he was younger?!? What the heck? I need sleep! I know he is a growing boy, and is just nursing more to catch up from daytime, but I am starting to resent my husband who is sleeping the night away while I deal with this. (He does help out occasionaly, but I’m the only one who obviously can get him back down the fastest during the middle of the night)I’m trying to figure out the best solution to get us all some sleep and stop the nightime feeding/sucking sessions, and then eventually nursing altogether. To the woman who posted the DR. Jay. article…THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!. This is the BEST method I have read that incorporates the family bed, vs. crib (my son does not like his crib, so he goes to bed on his matress 7ish nursing to sleep, and then I pull him in to bed when he wakes at 11 for the night. He does not take a bottle or paci.) Has anyone tried this method by Dr. Jay? Was it successful?

  164. data point in the making (coming a little late):I am still nursing #1 daughter to sleep at 19 months with no end in sight – but am happy to do it if she only wakes once or twice because she nurses to sleep quite quickly. As we are just recovering from what I now see may have been the 18 month sleep regression I have plucked up my courage to just keep doing what seems to make her happy and hope that we will be able to report one day that she just stopped by herself. (Hmmmm.) Waking once or twice a night is almost liveable btw – though she still nurses when she wakes she usually goes back to sleep quickly. I was disappointed recently when the pediatrician said of the night waking/nursing – “well, that will have to stop” as if it were an unnatural thing to be doing. Remind me not to mention it to him next time!!

  165. Well my daughter is almost 12 months old and used to go to sleep without a fuss by herself but the last month she is back to nursing to sleep for bedtime and naps. I have been having a really hard time with this as I have felt that I have started up a bad habit and she has fallen into some kind of sleep regression but after reading these posts I am feeling rather invigorated….thank you nursing mums and Moxie!

  166. I nursed my daughter (who is now 12 years old) to sleep until she was 3. One day I just said “I’ve had enough, let’s see what happens.” And she was completely off the boob from then on. (I was so happy, I was over it.)Now, my son, (who is currently 12 months) is still nursing to sleep for naps and nighttime as well as up at lest twice for night feedings. He CAN sleep without me nursing tho (dad can rock him or car rides.) This is definitely new for me since I was a single mother when my daughter was a baby. Hopefully that will make the transition easier (sooner?) when I decide enough’s enough this time around. It’s looking like that will come earlier than age 3 this time. I’m feeling over it already.

  167. 1 more data point:My daughter is 22 months and still nurses to sleep. She’s also getting those dang 2-year molars in and is waking up about every hour to nurse. So tired.

  168. You can get either an atcosiases or BS to become an RN. During school you’ll work in different hospital departments. Most OB departments have a delivery, post pardom, and Nursery sections. So you will be doing one of the three sub-specialties. In smaller hospitals you’ll perform all these roles.One nice thing about working OB is it’s the one section of the hospital where most of the patients are glad to be patients.Most nursing schools are very competative to get into. IU school of nursing is pretty good.Have a great Nursing career.

  169. 90k toο»Ώ become a nurse witihn 19 months????????? what a nut cake that person must be lol ..wow.I am a nurse and i went to school in Germany, and u know how much I paid???? NOTHING, not a dime and I am a nurse now in the US lol .ps: a mcdonalds worker in new york city makes 20 bucks an hour, but thats like 6 bucks in kansas like she said, it equals to the cost of living

  170. I’m going to agree with everyone above. Is nusnirg still in demand? Not the same way it was in demand 7-8 years ago. When I first started nusnirg, you could pretty much walk into any place and expect to get some kind of job.Now it is a lot more competitive. Older nurses had their 401Ks drained when the stock market crashed and can’t afford to retire. Younger nurses are flooding into the field because they hear it is a good career choice. Laid-off workers are also looking to nusnirg after being laid off. Hospitals are having to make cut-backs right and left and they can’t afford to lay off physicians, but the nusnirg staff is expendable.So you kind-of have a perfect storm.But here is what I think The economy is going to pick up again in a few years or so. Then stocks will go up again, the older nurses will be able to retire and some of the nurses supporting their families for their laid-off spouse will be able to go back home again this will create some movement in the field.So while I can’t say that I know of any particular state that has massive openings for RNs, I can say that if your heart is into it, there is a way to make a career out of nusnirg. You just will have to really work hard at it the first few years.

  171. It does depend a bit; but even nisurng jobs are not a dime a dozen, where everyone gets snapped up. There were only 3 jobs in the sunday paper (down from a full page a few years ago) where I live. You may have to relocate, take a less desirable shift, start in a less glamorous position, or per diem, on call etc. Its like everything else right now: have to be flexible, persisitent, and patient.

  172. I’m going to agree with everyone above. Is nuisnrg still in demand? Not the same way it was in demand 7-8 years ago. When I first started nuisnrg, you could pretty much walk into any place and expect to get some kind of job.Now it is a lot more competitive. Older nurses had their 401Ks drained when the stock market crashed and can’t afford to retire. Younger nurses are flooding into the field because they hear it is a good career choice. Laid-off workers are also looking to nuisnrg after being laid off. Hospitals are having to make cut-backs right and left and they can’t afford to lay off physicians, but the nuisnrg staff is expendable.So you kind-of have a perfect storm.But here is what I think The economy is going to pick up again in a few years or so. Then stocks will go up again, the older nurses will be able to retire and some of the nurses supporting their families for their laid-off spouse will be able to go back home again this will create some movement in the field.So while I can’t say that I know of any particular state that has massive openings for RNs, I can say that if your heart is into it, there is a way to make a career out of nuisnrg. You just will have to really work hard at it the first few years.

  173. I had a baby on Jan 6th, and have been nursing since birth. At the hsioptal he was having normal number of wet and dirty diapers. Since we have been home he has continued to have several wet diapers daily but no bowel movements. It is my understanding that he should be having a few a day at this stage. We have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow afternoon. Do I need to be concerned today? Should we go to the ER (it’s Sunday- the dr is closed). He seems to be latching on properly, positioning ok, and I hear suck/ swallow noises. But he seems to be eating constantly and causing me to have sore/ cracking nipples. Please help if you can with any advice. My cell number is 330.717.2689 or you can email me at Thanks, Kelly

  174. maybe he doesn’t want your mother’s blood on his hands i went thguroh a similar thing with my mother and my brother when my mother was dieing, my brother just couldn’t deal with it . he wasn’t there and he sent his girlfriend to docs appointments ect.. ect at the time i was really angry with him but over time i realized that i could deal with it only from numbing myself but he could not mentally deal with watching his mother die . everyone deals with the death of a parent differently if your brother can not deal with your mothers circumstances then he should step aside and let professionals handle your mothers health besides if you have a problem with her health care then you should take her in to your home and you take care of her .

  175. You will always sleep with one ear open litinnseg for the slightest movements, noises or cries. I adjusted well to having my little girl after 4 1/2 years of not breastfeeding because frankly, I still don’t sleep.. and that’s in comparison to my Jer who can sleep through a bolt of lightning splitting a tree trunk open, sirens responding to our elderly neighbor’s home or the dog falling down the steps again. So the smallest of noises doesn’t wake him. Plus, I don’t know how he can hear anything through the rumbling of his nasal cavity!

  176. By surgical nurse I’m asniumsg that you mean a nurse who works in the OR. OR nurses assist the surgeons and the anesthesiologist but they do not perform any actual surgery. To become an OR nurse all you need is to do is become an RN and then get specialized on-the-job training/orientation in the operating room. You do not have to have a bachelor’s degree to become an RN. You can train to become an RN at any accredited RN program in a community college in just over 2 to three years.

  177. I admit I’ve done all of those! I read so many good books during the first few mothns of CJV’s life πŸ™‚ It was like a little escape for me! I also got hooked on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon – it ran at 2:00 am, and I actually looked forward to that feeding!

  178. Actually, you only have to be an RN, which means you could have an Associate’s degree.In my area, the OR nusers don’t actually touch the patient except to help prep for the surgery. Scrub Techs are the ones with their hands in all the action with the doc. LPNs used to do their job, but not usually in today’s hospitals.

  179. Hello, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wonderingif you get a lot of spam responses? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.

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