Reader help for pregnancy qualms

Heather writes:

your Christmas to New Years open thread I tossed out a little whimper
of an "OMG, I’m pregnant" and got a few very nice responses for which I
am grateful.
In the last year I have gotten engaged and married,
quit one job, moved 800 miles away from my family, didn’t work for
awhile, got a GREAT, CRAZY, HUGE job which I love{!!!}
and am only just now figuring out how to do. So … there has been a lot of change. I’m still not really dealing with the fact that I am pregnant very well.
Still, I’m eating right, taking the vitamins & fish
oil, went to the doctor yesterday and saw the heartbeat {I broke into
heartbroken tears, and now feel bad that this magical moment just felt
… ugh … awful} and asked the doctor for help finding a therapist
{because BOY HOWDY do I need one apparently}.

So, first,
thank you for saying at some point awhile back that it was ok to find a
therapist because that helped me find the guts to do it. Second,
right now I am trapped in the things that are changing and going away
{perhaps, I recognize, being a little overly dramatic about those
things even} and I know that I don’t understand the good things that it
will be replaced by.
Can you and the lovely ladies in the computer articulate the good stuff and help a woman find her way out of the dark?"

Boy have I been there.

Not with the job I love and marriage and move all happening at the same time. But with the "What have I done??" and "My life has hardly even begun–how can I have a baby now?"

Personally, I think it’s counterproductive to try to force yourself to think it’s all normal and happy and the best thing that’ll ever happen to you. Being uncomfortable with the change and transition, now that’s normal. I think it’s important to let yourself mourn your old life, and to explore the fears you’re feeling, and to know that it’s not all going to be great right away and that it will take a lot of time and energy and lost sleep to get to the new normal. But that the new normal is thousands of shades richer than the one you have now. The highs are higher and the lows are lower.

I could go on about this for pages, but I think it’s better just to turn it over to the commenters, who will do a better job in fewer words. Please work your magic, friends.

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