Can we talk about judgment? I’m not talking about Mommy Drive-Bys, because I know we’re all too mature and kind to actually say anything, but I know we’re all thinking it. I’d like not to be judgmental, but I wonder if it’s just human nature.
(Sorry about no Q&A today, but I’ve been almost obsessed with this judgment thing for days and have to get it off my chest.)
For the second week in a row, I’ve noticed a little girl in one of our activities. She’s biracial (black and white), with unkempt-looking hair. I can’t stop wondering how her parents let her out of the house like that, knowing she’s going to be the recipient of disapproving looks from all directions. Her nanny is latina, and may or may not have any idea about the significance of neat hair for black/biracial children.
So I was twisting myself around about this. How could her parents put her in this position out in the world? Do they not know how to take care of her hair? (And how would they not know, unless she’s adopted and her parents are from a different ethnic group, in which case why didn’t they educate themselves at some point?)
And then I looked down at my son and realized I’d missed with the washcloth and he had a big hunk of egg yolk under his left nostril.
I started thinking about my own hypocrisy at breakfast today. I forgot to buy both butter (so no toast) and milk (so no cereal) so we went across the street to get bagels with butter from our local deli. First they boys talked me into buying a fun size bag of potato chips, so they were eating bagels and potato chips for breakfast. Then the manager gave us two donuts that got mushed in transport, so he couldn’t sell them. So my kids ate bagels, potato chips, and Boston cream donuts for breakfast.
And yet I was worried about a stranger’s hair.
I don’t know whether you guys want to talk about judgment or not. Maybe it’s more present here in NYC, where people have too much money and put too much pressure on everyone? Or does it affect everyone either from the receiving end or the judging end? Is there anything we can do about it? I’m not talking about judging people for doing things that are actually dangerous (like driving kids around with no carseats or doing crystal meth or [insert Britney Spears’ latest cry for help here]). I’m talking about things that are truly not our business.